What is Financial Domination - Ceara Lynch
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00:00:00Hey, hey guys, Holly Randall here, and I have a very special guest here today.
00:00:28I have somebody from my past, sort of, I'm sorry, I'm making it sound like we have this
00:00:34really connected, convoluted past, which we don't, but I used to harass the shit out of
00:00:39her to shoot her a long time ago, so now it's nice to have her here in the studio in front
00:00:43of me.
00:00:44Miss Sierra Lynch, how are you?
00:00:45I'm good, thanks for having me.
00:00:47Thank you for coming.
00:00:48Yeah.
00:00:49So, yeah, I just wanted to give everybody a little, like, our kind of somewhat backstory.
00:00:55So we used to both be on this really very entertaining, but strange forum called XXX
00:01:02Porn Talk, which I haven't visited in years.
00:01:04I don't know if you ever go back there.
00:01:05No, never.
00:01:06Yeah.
00:01:07So it was kind of where the misfits of the porn industry would go and just basically
00:01:13talk shit about porn, and there was a lot of, like, bullshit nonsense on there, but
00:01:18there was also a lot of, like, really funny shit on there.
00:01:21There was, who's that one guy, The Monkey Cage, and he would do, like, my favorite thing
00:01:28is he would do, like a, what's that show when they judge people who go to, oh, The Fashion
00:01:35Police.
00:01:36Yeah.
00:01:37Like, he would do that to people on the AVN red carpet and toss, like, massive amounts
00:01:41of shit about, like, what people wore and what they look like.
00:01:43And we have a lot of, I feel like it's a lot more legit now, like, you look at people on
00:01:47the red carpet now, and it's different than how it used to be, but, like, there were quite
00:01:52a few interesting characters that used to be on the red carpet, and just the things
00:01:57that he would come up with were just, like, incredibly mean, but so insanely funny.
00:02:03It was so entertaining.
00:02:04Yeah, I remember he'd managed to, like, prank people pretty well, too.
00:02:08Yeah.
00:02:09I think he made some rumor about how some porn star had AIDS and, you know, infected
00:02:12a bunch of people, and, like, for, like, a day or something, people were like, what?
00:02:15Oh, God, yeah.
00:02:16Yeah, well, people really cling to rumor these days, and this is, like, before kind of social
00:02:20media came around, so, but you were on there, and you're obviously very good looking, and
00:02:28I used to bug, I used to chase you about shooting.
00:02:32I was like, I should shoot you, you're so hot, and I remember you were like, maybe,
00:02:36maybe not, yeah, no, and then you're like, nah, I'm not getting naked, and I was like,
00:02:40sad for me.
00:02:41Yeah, I went a different route.
00:02:44Yeah.
00:02:45And you still don't get naked, right?
00:02:47No.
00:02:48But you are, you are a femdom queen, and you do clips, and so why don't, rather than me
00:02:56have everybody tell you what, everyone what you do, why don't you tell everybody what
00:02:59you do?
00:03:00I feel like you're going to explain it much better than me.
00:03:02Yeah, sure.
00:03:03I think the best word to describe me is a humiliatrix.
00:03:05I like that.
00:03:06Yes.
00:03:07So, I, it's like a dominatrix, but I do everything online, I don't have, like, a dungeon, I just
00:03:12use my words.
00:03:13Right.
00:03:15And I do that, basically, with cam shows, and videos, and all my videos are POV style,
00:03:22which I suppose to your porn friends might, or to the porn mom might mean a little something
00:03:26different, but it's basically just me and the camera, and I'm talking directly to the
00:03:30camera, and so the viewer feels like I'm talking directly to him.
00:03:34And you know, I don't get naked, but I certainly, you know, dress pretty sexy, and I act very
00:03:39seductively, but it's all under the umbrella of female domination, and so it's, I'm always
00:03:45in the dominant position, and I just talk trash to men for a living.
00:03:49That's amazing.
00:03:50Yeah.
00:03:51That is such a, I mean, when people, because I know that, like, when people ask me what
00:03:55I do for a living, depending on who I'm talking to, I will come up with some kind of, like,
00:04:00oh, I'm a photographer, and, you know, usually they don't ask me more than that, but if they
00:04:04do, what do you photograph?
00:04:05Oh, I should photograph people, what kind of, you know.
00:04:08This is if I'm trying to hide it from somebody, I'll be like, oh, I shoot Glamour, like, Pin
00:04:12Up, and stuff like that, and then I'll kind of be able to avoid what I actually do.
00:04:17What do you tell people?
00:04:18That's funny, that's really similar to what I do.
00:04:20So I don't like to lie, but sometimes I just don't want to get into it either, you know?
00:04:26Yeah, it's almost like you want to just avoid the 10,000 questions that are going to follow
00:04:30it.
00:04:31Yeah, that's exactly right.
00:04:32So I do something very similar, I say, like, I do videography, and then I try and change
00:04:37the subject.
00:04:38So then if they ask more, like, oh, what do you shoot?
00:04:41The worst thing is getting somebody who actually works in that industry, because you're like,
00:04:44what are you?
00:04:45Are you a DP?
00:04:46Are you a camera operator?
00:04:47Are you, like?
00:04:48Right.
00:04:49Yeah, I made the mistake, like, at least with that, it's, you know, it's a half-truth.
00:04:53One time, I was like, well, maybe I'll just say something really boring, like accounting,
00:04:56and people will be like, oh, okay, next topic.
00:04:58Yeah, that's true.
00:04:59Nobody will ever be like, oh, really?
00:05:01What's that like?
00:05:02Yeah, unless they're in the industry, which happened to me one time, some guy was asking
00:05:05me all these questions about accounting.
00:05:06I was like, fuck.
00:05:07I don't know.
00:05:08I think you could tell I was obviously lying.
00:05:11But yeah, so I'll say I'm a videographer, and then I try to change the subject, but
00:05:15if they ask, you know, probably one more question after that, they're going to find out I make
00:05:19fetish videos.
00:05:20Yeah.
00:05:21Yeah, that's, like, the honest answer I give up front is I make fetish videos.
00:05:24And what do you, what is the reaction that you generally get when you say that?
00:05:27People are usually really intrigued, you know, they want to know more.
00:05:30And then when I explain it the way I just explained it, people usually think it's pretty
00:05:34cool.
00:05:35Yeah.
00:05:36Yeah, I think it's awesome.
00:05:37I think the, I think, first of all, because I'm actually surprised by the fact that, like,
00:05:41when I tell, if I honestly tell people what I do, I'm like, I shoot porn for a living.
00:05:44I don't, I've, like, never been attacked, like, in person.
00:05:48And I think it throws people off that we're women.
00:05:50I think if we were guys, we would get a different answer.
00:05:53Yeah, I never thought about that, but you're probably right.
00:05:55But yeah, I think especially for me, because my role is something that is generally men,
00:05:59so people are always surprised.
00:06:01And I think it's hard for people to be like, oh, well, porn's exploitative, but for women,
00:06:06but you're a woman.
00:06:07So like, how does that work?
00:06:08And especially for you, you really flip the script.
00:06:10So like, I mean, you literally make a living out of exploiting men, but that's what these
00:06:16men want.
00:06:17Yeah.
00:06:18So it's, it's interesting.
00:06:19Yeah, no, it's exactly right.
00:06:20It's kind of, I describe it as like a loophole in the adult industry.
00:06:24Yeah.
00:06:25Because I feel like I don't get stigmatized as much as like a stripper or a porn star.
00:06:29Right.
00:06:30And I don't take off my clothes.
00:06:31Right.
00:06:32I don't meet anyone.
00:06:33And then also it's all talking shit to men.
00:06:36Yeah.
00:06:37So, you know, people think it's kind of cool and feminist, and I get a good reaction from
00:06:40it.
00:06:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:42I would imagine that you do.
00:06:43How did you get into that?
00:06:44Like, where, how did that begin?
00:06:46It began when I was 17, or of legal age.
00:06:51And I was living-
00:06:52It's okay.
00:06:53It's a podcast.
00:06:54We don't have to follow any rules.
00:06:55Good, good.
00:06:57So I was living in Japan as an exchange student, as my high school, senior year of high school.
00:07:01Oh, that's fucking cool.
00:07:03Yeah.
00:07:04So I was there for a year.
00:07:06But I didn't know Japanese, and my host families didn't know English.
00:07:10And I went to a school where I was the only exchange student.
00:07:12So I was just really lonely, you know.
00:07:16And I just spent a lot of time on the computer.
00:07:18So I would like, you know, talk to my friends and talk to strangers.
00:07:23And one day, this guy had, like, seen my picture on some social networking site at
00:07:27the time.
00:07:28And he thought I was really cute, and so he just started talking to me.
00:07:32And he turned out to be a big pervert, as, you know, strangemen on the internet often
00:07:36are.
00:07:37Yes.
00:07:38And he told me about his fetishes.
00:07:40So he had a fetish for being peed on, was his big thing, and then pantyhose.
00:07:46And I was just really intrigued.
00:07:47Like, I knew that, like, people sometimes had weird fetishes, but I'd never talked to
00:07:52anyone that had a weird fetish.
00:07:54So I was like, this is interesting.
00:07:57And you know, it was online, so it was safe.
00:07:59It wasn't like some guy on the bus I was talking to.
00:08:04And so, you know, we'd carry on conversations here and there, and he'd always try to get
00:08:07me to meet him.
00:08:08But I was like, no, I'm not going to meet you.
00:08:11He lived in New York, by the way, when I tell this story.
00:08:13A lot of people think it's like some Japanese businessman, but he was an American guy.
00:08:18And so one day, he was like, OK, well, I know you're not going to meet me, but, you know,
00:08:21I really think that your piss should be bottled and sold.
00:08:26And at the time, I was just like, OK, you know, I was thinking it's like his way of
00:08:30dirty talking me.
00:08:32But I was like, all right, we'll buy it, you know.
00:08:35And he did.
00:08:36Like, we negotiated a price, and I sent him a 12-ounce bottle of urine, and he sent me
00:08:41$250 in the mail.
00:08:44And so that was my big kind of light bulb moment.
00:08:47I launched everything.
00:08:48Wow.
00:08:49Like, there is an industry here.
00:08:50Yeah.
00:08:51Like, I was like, this guy found me by accident.
00:08:52What would happen if I went looking for guys like this?
00:08:55And so I did a little research, because I was like, all right, I've heard of like selling
00:08:58your used panties, right?
00:08:59So it sounds like kind of the same sort of thing.
00:09:02And I did some research, and I found a website that was like eBay, like an auction site.
00:09:08But it was for girls selling panties, socks, shoes.
00:09:13I use one of those, ABI Bids.
00:09:17And I make so much money selling like outfits from shoots.
00:09:23It's crazy.
00:09:24Oh, that's awesome.
00:09:25Yeah.
00:09:26It's great.
00:09:27It's a great supplemental income.
00:09:28Like, I desperately need it.
00:09:29It's really helpful.
00:09:30Yeah.
00:09:31Well, yeah, that's how I started out.
00:09:32I started making money off of there.
00:09:34And then I would, you know, kind of pay attention to what other girls were doing online.
00:09:38And from there, I found out how to set up phone lines, you know, where I would get paid
00:09:42per minute, basically like phone sex.
00:09:45But because I came in through the industry in kind of this fetish way, the guys that
00:09:49would call me wouldn't be guys that, you know, wanted to talk about, you know, me blowing
00:09:55them or anything.
00:09:56It would all be like submissive guys that want to be degraded and humiliated.
00:09:59So I kind of became like a cyber dominatrix from there and learned a lot about, you know,
00:10:06men with unusual fetishes just by talking to them.
00:10:09And from there, I did webcam shows and videos and that's what I do today.
00:10:15So how long have you been doing it for?
00:10:17Oh, let's see, 15 years.
00:10:20Wow.
00:10:21Yeah.
00:10:22That's amazing.
00:10:23Long time.
00:10:24And it's your full-time job, right?
00:10:25Yeah.
00:10:26I never thought I'd be doing it this long.
00:10:27I was like, surely, you know, it's like an industry that's kind of thrives off of like,
00:10:32you know, youth and beauty and like the next fresh face.
00:10:36But I feel like in this niche, guys really want a girl that knows what she's doing more
00:10:41than just a new girl.
00:10:42Yeah.
00:10:43Yeah.
00:10:44So that's pretty cool.
00:10:45Though, to be fair, like you look very young.
00:10:47Oh, thank you.
00:10:48Like, I don't know if you feel like you look like older, but you do not.
00:10:51No.
00:10:52No, I feel like I look all right.
00:10:54But just the fact that I've been doing it this long, I would have thought like, maybe
00:10:57they'll get tired of me, but it's been great.
00:11:00Yeah.
00:11:01Have you had like customers that have kind of been with you since the beginning?
00:11:04Mm-hmm.
00:11:05Yeah.
00:11:06I have a couple in mind that, yeah, they've been with me like for, you know, over a decade
00:11:10now.
00:11:11Wow.
00:11:12Yeah, pretty wild.
00:11:13And do you feel like, I don't know, I wouldn't say, I don't know if closeness is the right
00:11:17word, but do you feel almost like a certain kind of affection for these kind of people?
00:11:20Like, how does that, because I know with like with cam girls, like some girls have like
00:11:25long time customers, fans that like, they actually really end up kind of caring about
00:11:31and feeling like some like, kind of real kinship with.
00:11:35But for you, being a humiliatrix, I'm not sure that the relationship ever enters that
00:11:40space.
00:11:41It can.
00:11:42It depends on the guy, obviously.
00:11:43Like one of the guys that's been with me for this long, he annoys the crap out of me, but
00:11:49he pays really well.
00:11:50So it's never gonna, you know, get anything more than that.
00:11:53But there's some that like have opened up to me in ways that like, yeah, you can't help
00:11:58but kind of feel like it's a more personal relationship.
00:12:01How do you respond to, like, do they tell you like what's going on in their life and
00:12:04stuff like that?
00:12:05And then how do you respond to that?
00:12:06Do you actually kind of back out of character and be like, oh, I'm sorry that that's going
00:12:11on?
00:12:12Or do you continue on with that, like, well, you know, yeah, you deserve that, that you
00:12:17got fired, you fucking idiot.
00:12:20No, that's a good question.
00:12:21So one of my long term clients, if you will, he goes by CR Junkie, he, this was really
00:12:30tricky for me because, you know, he first started talking to me when I first started.
00:12:35And he would call me and, you know, he was just kind of this loser, like to wear panties,
00:12:41like to be made fun of for that sort of thing.
00:12:43And he would just talk in ways that made him sound very pathetic.
00:12:46So I was like, okay, he's, you know, this is like kind of a back and forth, he acts
00:12:50all pathetic and stupid and I make fun of him for it.
00:12:54But then he would like, in between doing that, he would tell me things about how, you know,
00:13:00his father used to beat him and how he was abused and all this.
00:13:03And like, I would just kind of keep going and be like, yeah, you deserve that, blah,
00:13:07blah.
00:13:08If thinking, you know, that's the direction he wants to go, it's fine.
00:13:12But after a while, it kind of became clear to me that he was kind of opening up, although
00:13:18in this weird way, I think he was confused himself too, you know?
00:13:24And finally, it was like, I kind of had to break character a little bit and be like,
00:13:27you know what?
00:13:28Like, you were a kid, you didn't deserve that, you know, it wasn't okay.
00:13:32And he would like really appreciate hearing that.
00:13:34So that kind of became weird because it would go back and forth between him wanting to like
00:13:40jerk off and then also him kind of treating me almost like a therapist.
00:13:44And I'm sure there's tons of girls that could totally pull that off, but I'm not one of
00:13:48them.
00:13:49So I was like, all right.
00:13:50After a while, I was like, listen, you can either jerk off on the phone with me or we
00:13:52can talk like, you know, friends or like a therapist.
00:13:56One or the other, because both is just really weird for me.
00:13:58Yeah, it's got to be very strange, like switching back and forth between those two kinds of
00:14:02personalities.
00:14:03Totally.
00:14:04Especially because he was conflicted about his fetishes and stuff like that, you know?
00:14:08So he chose the kind of therapist friend relationship.
00:14:12And so that's kind of where we're at.
00:14:15Like, he'll kind of just tell me what's going on in his life.
00:14:17And like, you know, he'll tell me like things like, you know, stories of like girls he's
00:14:22dated or like kind of his fetishes and stuff.
00:14:24But it's not actually him, you know, in a fantasy like jerking off.
00:14:28Right.
00:14:29Yeah, that's really interesting.
00:14:31Who is probably who's like, okay, what's one of the strangest things that you've been asked?
00:14:38Or the strangest thing that like a guy has wanted to do for you?
00:14:44Let's see.
00:14:45I was gonna say you probably have a fucking Rolodex.
00:14:46I have a lot.
00:14:47Yeah, it is a common question I get asked.
00:14:49I'm trying to think of a new one.
00:14:52There was this guy, and he had this custom video request that he sent to me and a bunch
00:14:58of other girls that are, you know, do the same thing.
00:15:00So it's kind of funny whenever something like that happens.
00:15:03And then, you know, because a lot of us are friends, we realize like, oh, I got that email
00:15:06too.
00:15:07I got one of those.
00:15:08There was a circulating one.
00:15:10I've mentioned this before about a guy who wanted to eat my poop.
00:15:14And he sent me that email.
00:15:16And I was like, appalled.
00:15:18And then he, I wasn't appalled, but I was like, hey, I actually was like, look, I'm
00:15:22not going to shame you about this.
00:15:24But like, this is not my thing.
00:15:25And then he like offered me more money.
00:15:27And I was like, no, dude.
00:15:29And I don't know, I just, in a weird way, it made me feel kind of special.
00:15:32Like, wow, I'm so special.
00:15:33This guy wants to eat my poop.
00:15:34And then I was talking to my friend, like Danny Daniels, and she was like, oh, yeah,
00:15:38I got the exact same email.
00:15:39I'm like, that motherfucker.
00:15:40I know.
00:15:41He does it.
00:15:42It's not just me.
00:15:43I thought it was special.
00:15:44And there was a bunch of other girls that he wrote the exact same email to.
00:15:46I was like, oh, whatever.
00:15:47Anyways.
00:15:48Yeah.
00:15:49They make the rounds.
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:51Because probably most people either don't respond to them or say no.
00:15:54So they're like, it's a numbers game.
00:15:56Yeah.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:15:58One person's going to say yes.
00:15:59Yeah.
00:16:00Hopefully.
00:16:01So this guy, he, his video request was that one of us buy a live lobster and dress up
00:16:09like as a chef and get like a boiling pot.
00:16:12And just before boiling this lobster alive, he wanted us to just humiliate it.
00:16:16Just being like, you're a fucking stupid little lobster, you're a little bitch and
00:16:19I'm going to boil you alive and your flesh is going to burn.
00:16:23Oh, God.
00:16:24PETA is like freaking out right now.
00:16:27Yeah.
00:16:28So that's a weird one.
00:16:31Yeah.
00:16:32Did he actually want you to boil it eventually?
00:16:34Yeah.
00:16:35But not before, you know, humiliating it and getting into graphic detail about it's burning
00:16:39flesh.
00:16:40Oh.
00:16:41I actually love lobster.
00:16:44The idea of like doing that to lobster, I just try not to think about.
00:16:48Makes it real.
00:16:49You're like, fuck.
00:16:50That's what I'm eating.
00:16:51Yeah.
00:16:52Yeah.
00:16:53I know.
00:16:54Right.
00:16:55So you are doing a documentary slash movie called Use Me.
00:17:00So tell us a little bit about that.
00:17:02Yeah.
00:17:03So it's, yeah, just what you described.
00:17:04It's a feature film.
00:17:06It's probably best described as a hybrid documentary.
00:17:08So if you watch it, it has a documentary feel to it and certainly a lot, if not most
00:17:14of the footage is like pure documentary, but there's a fictional storyline kind of woven
00:17:20within it.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:22And it plays on the theme of, you know, fantasy and reality and, you know, which is which
00:17:26and blurred lines and all that.
00:17:29So it's all done.
00:17:31I'm really excited about it.
00:17:32I've been working on it forever and we submitted it to film festivals and we're just playing
00:17:38the waiting game to hear back.
00:17:39Okay.
00:17:40Yeah.
00:17:41Can you tell us a little bit about what the storyline is?
00:17:43So the director slash writer is Julian Shaw.
00:17:48And all this is true.
00:17:49He came to the States to do a documentary about me.
00:17:55And basically, hmm, I should have thought about this, what I could say at this point.
00:18:03Basically he does a documentary about me and he gets in a little too deep and things
00:18:07kind of spiral out of control.
00:18:09Interesting.
00:18:10Yeah.
00:18:11Sounds kind of sexy.
00:18:12Yeah.
00:18:13Yeah.
00:18:14It's like an erotic thriller.
00:18:15Oh, awesome.
00:18:16And when do you think you'll be releasing it?
00:18:18So hopefully early next year, but definitely sometime next year.
00:18:22It all depends on what film festival accepts us because they will want to have the premiere
00:18:26and the distribution rights, correct?
00:18:29Something like that.
00:18:31But mostly just the premiere.
00:18:33And then from there it will be available too.
00:18:36Right.
00:18:37And then what role did you have in it besides obviously being the star of it?
00:18:39Did you also have a hand in producing it as well?
00:18:42Yeah, I'm the executive producer.
00:18:44That's amazing.
00:18:45Yeah.
00:18:46How long did it take you to film?
00:18:47Oh, forever.
00:18:48Yeah, those things take like a really long time.
00:18:51I've actually been toying with the idea of doing a documentary on my mom, but then I'm
00:18:54like, that will take me like fucking 10 years.
00:18:58Yeah.
00:18:59I don't know if I have that kind of commitment.
00:19:01It started out slow because Julian was living in Australia.
00:19:03So he would just like come over to the States like a few times a year, and we just kind
00:19:08of shoot things here and there.
00:19:09And we'd talk about what direction we wanted to go, and he'd show me things he's written.
00:19:14And then it wasn't until like two, three years later, he actually moved to the States.
00:19:18And then we launched a Kickstarter and got some funding.
00:19:20And then we got an actual film crew.
00:19:23And then, you know, things like really snowballed from there, and we were able to like finish
00:19:26it.
00:19:27So we were very kind of slow figuring it all out.
00:19:30But yeah, it's been a while.
00:19:31But once you like actually got the funding and got the crew, then you were able, how
00:19:34long did it take you to shoot it then?
00:19:36Yeah, I guess it depends on when you'd consider we first started shooting.
00:19:41I would say after we got the film crew, it was about like a year.
00:19:44Okay.
00:19:45Yeah.
00:19:46Okay.
00:19:47That makes sense.
00:19:48Yeah.
00:19:49But much of it had already been filmed.
00:19:50It was a lot of just me and Julian filming each other and that sort of thing.
00:19:52Right.
00:19:53You also have a podcast.
00:19:54I do.
00:19:55Called Standard Deviation.
00:19:56Yes.
00:19:58Can you tell us a little bit about that?
00:19:59Sure.
00:20:00It's a podcast with my friend and roommate, Kevin.
00:20:02And I don't want to like mislead anyone.
00:20:05It's not like a super sexy podcast like this.
00:20:08It's mostly just me and him just talking about whatever, like politics or current events.
00:20:14We try to like touch on just general taboos, like, you know, drugs and sex and politics
00:20:20and that sort of thing.
00:20:22And yeah, one of the main reasons I'm here in LA is because I was trying to gather some
00:20:25interviews because it's mostly just me and him at this point.
00:20:28Yeah.
00:20:29Yeah.
00:20:30And you are living up in Oregon, right?
00:20:31Mm-hmm.
00:20:32Yeah.
00:20:33Yeah.
00:20:34So you probably like here, there's probably a wealth of people.
00:20:35Yeah.
00:20:36Especially if you're talking about taboo issues.
00:20:38I know there's a lot of people out in LA that are kind of into that whole thing.
00:20:42Yeah.
00:20:43If someone was to go and listen to your podcast, is there a specific episode that you would
00:20:47recommend that you think is like your favorite?
00:20:49Yeah.
00:20:50So it's pretty new at this point.
00:20:52We just started in May, so there's like only 30 something episodes.
00:20:56I'm excited about the interviews we'll be releasing, but I'm not sure when.
00:20:59But at this point, I would recommend, I can't think of the number, but the title is called
00:21:03Bitches Love Nihilism.
00:21:04Okay.
00:21:05And it's probably my favorite one so far.
00:21:07Oh, okay.
00:21:08And what's that about?
00:21:09I think it started out, I was telling my roommate about how I was sexually harassed in a flattering
00:21:16way.
00:21:18And I was telling him how, I think it's generally good advice that men don't compliment women
00:21:27in a weird way if they don't know them, strangers and stuff.
00:21:31But there is a way they can get away with it that can be flattering, and that's kind
00:21:36of what happened.
00:21:37It was like I was walking to my car, it was outside a grocery store, it was like open
00:21:43parking lot.
00:21:44And this guy kind of came up to me, or no, he saw me, he was walking into the store,
00:21:48then he saw me and he kind of came up to me, but he kept a good distance, and his body
00:21:51language read like, I'm going to say something, I'm going to walk away, I don't want anything
00:21:56from you, I just want to say this.
00:21:58And he said, I don't know what normal is for you, but you look great today.
00:22:03And that was it.
00:22:04He walked away.
00:22:05I was like, oh, that's nice.
00:22:06That's nice.
00:22:07Yeah.
00:22:08I don't think that that's harassment.
00:22:09That's somebody giving you a compliment.
00:22:10Right.
00:22:11Right.
00:22:12Well.
00:22:13Yeah.
00:22:14Some people would argue it is.
00:22:15So that's where the conversation kind of came up.
00:22:17What is harassment?
00:22:18Like, what are compliments?
00:22:19What's the line?
00:22:20And then the title came when Kevin was talking about how he seemed to get more interest from
00:22:26women when he stopped caring as much, and I was like, yeah, bitches love nihilism.
00:22:33Yeah, it's interesting in this whole like, Me Too movement, outrage culture, you know,
00:22:40how, like, what, I mean, can guys just pay you a compliment anymore and just say something
00:22:47like nice to you?
00:22:49Or is it like, totally not okay now?
00:22:52I don't know.
00:22:53I don't know either.
00:22:54And I don't think anyone really knows, even though they kind of pretend to.
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57Some people will say like, no, don't even say hello.
00:22:59Like, don't even.
00:23:00Right.
00:23:01So.
00:23:02Yeah.
00:23:03It's though, it's strange.
00:23:04Like, as a woman, you know, we're always on guard with men, especially when we're alone.
00:23:08And I actually had an incident in this elevator coming up to this podcast studio a couple
00:23:13of weeks ago, where this guy gone in, and he's like a maintenance guy, I think.
00:23:19And he like, looked at me and was like, hey, how you doing?
00:23:22And like, and I was like, oh, fuck, this guy's gonna try to like, hit on me or something.
00:23:26It was like, my instant reaction was like, no, no, no.
00:23:29And he was just like, it's a nice day.
00:23:32And I realized through the course of her incredibly short conversation, you know, 30 seconds or
00:23:37whatever, that literally, he was just like, saying hello, because we never say hello to
00:23:43people anymore.
00:23:44We're always in our phones.
00:23:46You know, we never like, look up, we don't talk to people online, like, we just we don't
00:23:50communicate with each other anymore.
00:23:52So the fact that like, some guy was just trying to have a, like a little short conversation,
00:23:57like connect with a person that he was standing next to.
00:24:00And I instantly went on the defense.
00:24:02And then when he got out of the elevator, I was like, dude, why?
00:24:06Like, why do you instantly, like, you know, hackles raised, though, to be fair, like,
00:24:12there's been enough cases where the guy has gotten weird, or if I if he senses an opening,
00:24:17then he's like, oh, this girl wants to blow me.
00:24:20Yeah, you know, let me go for it.
00:24:21Yeah, it's a tricky thing, because you don't want to come off as like an ice queen.
00:24:25Yeah.
00:24:26But at the same time, like, you know, every woman's had a situation where she was just
00:24:29being friendly.
00:24:30And then, you know, then it got weird.
00:24:31Took it the wrong way.
00:24:32Yeah.
00:24:33So yeah, it's like, what's, what's the answer there?
00:24:36Yeah, I don't know.
00:24:37I think we're all just kind of trying to figure it out.
00:24:38Now.
00:24:39Yeah, I wish people would have more like, honest conversations about it like this.
00:24:42Because I think people are just so like, angry and kind of like, digging their heels into
00:24:47like, thinking that it's really simple and black and white.
00:24:50It's and it's not, it's really not.
00:24:52And it's like, all of these things that have come up really needed to come up.
00:24:56Because, I mean, we've all been in situations where, you know, we've been harassed, or we
00:25:00felt like we had to do something, or we were gonna lose our job, or we were gonna, like,
00:25:05we've had to put up with shit that we shouldn't have to put up with.
00:25:08But on the other hand, too, there's also sometimes that like, shit's kind of just was harmless,
00:25:16you know?
00:25:17And it's not that big of a deal.
00:25:18And I just think, I don't know, sometimes things get blown out of proportion.
00:25:21Yeah.
00:25:22And a lot of it's just like, body language, too.
00:25:24Yeah.
00:25:25Like, that's something guys just don't understand, because they haven't lived as a woman, like,
00:25:29you can be, you know, just like the guy in the elevator, like, you didn't know that maybe
00:25:33it's, you know, maybe an elevator, maybe in closed space is kind of a weird, you know,
00:25:37time to strike up a conversation, you just didn't think about it.
00:25:40Yeah.
00:25:41But there are stuff like that, that can kind of put women on the defense, and, you know.
00:25:45I know.
00:25:46So like, what's the answer?
00:25:47Like, do we teach guys?
00:25:48Because there's a lot of guys that don't know how to talk to women, and don't read social
00:25:52cues, and don't understand boundaries.
00:25:55But then, you know, there's also, I mean, I know there's been a couple of cases where
00:25:59girls I know have literally made shit up.
00:26:02Yeah.
00:26:03Like, I know that for a fact.
00:26:04Totally.
00:26:05I'm obviously not going to name names or anything like that, but, you know, and, you know, these
00:26:09guys get subject to this, like, complete and total bullshit, and it's like, that didn't
00:26:15happen.
00:26:16Yeah.
00:26:17We were there.
00:26:18Yeah.
00:26:19And it's really scary now, because it seems like you can just make an accusation.
00:26:21Yeah.
00:26:22That's it.
00:26:23Yeah.
00:26:24And that's the thing, like, the minute you get accused, it doesn't matter if you did
00:26:25it or not.
00:26:26Yeah.
00:26:27It's already tarnished.
00:26:28And especially, too, now that we're, like, pulling up shit that people did, like, 10,
00:26:3315, 20 years ago.
00:26:34Like, something just came up, actually, I saw this morning on Twitter, about, like,
00:26:38some homophobic tweets that Sarah Silverman and, like, two other women said, like, I don't
00:26:44know.
00:26:45They said, like, something in passing, like, I like this, but then he said I was a fag
00:26:50or something like that.
00:26:51I don't know what it was.
00:26:52Like, and, like, reading it's a little, like, whoa, dude, like, that's kind of a lot, but
00:26:57it was literally, like, 20 years ago.
00:27:00And it's, like, people are just scrolling through people's tweets, like, looking for
00:27:03something to just fucking kind of try to peg them with.
00:27:06Yeah.
00:27:07That's unfortunate, because they're torching their allies.
00:27:08Yeah.
00:27:09Like, Sarah Silverman isn't your enemy.
00:27:10No.
00:27:11I know.
00:27:12It's crazy.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14Like, all that stuff about James Gunn that came up, you know, when he, those things that
00:27:17he said, same thing, like, what, 15 years ago or something like that?
00:27:20And he gets, like, fired from doing Guardians of the Galaxy.
00:27:23And, like, I know James.
00:27:24I used to work for him, actually.
00:27:26And he's a really good dude.
00:27:28And it was, that was, like, a real shame.
00:27:30It's just, I don't know.
00:27:31It just seems to me there's just, there's a lot of anger, I feel like, out there right
00:27:35now.
00:27:36For sure.
00:27:37And people don't know what to do with it.
00:27:38And I feel like it's just getting, like, it's shooting off in all directions.
00:27:42People are just attacking each other.
00:27:43Yeah.
00:27:44It's like a purity test.
00:27:45Yeah, it is, isn't it?
00:27:46It's almost like, it's almost like we're going backwards.
00:27:50It's like, you know, people make mistakes, but people also grow.
00:27:53And, like, do we have to crucify everybody who said something once a long time ago?
00:27:59And the problem is, is that, you know, with social media, you put these things in writing
00:28:03and then they live forever on the fucking internet.
00:28:06And you can't take that shit back.
00:28:08No.
00:28:09I remember my mom, actually, one of the greatest things she ever taught me was to be very careful
00:28:12about what you put in writing.
00:28:15And the greatest, the one time that I really learned that lesson was, I said something
00:28:20on that fucking forum, XXX Porn Talk, about a company that I worked for who, I think,
00:28:29stopped using me.
00:28:31And I didn't like the work that they were putting out.
00:28:33And I thought that they had, their quality had gone downhill.
00:28:37And I might have been drinking back then.
00:28:41And I made a bad decision, and I decided to write something about it.
00:28:44And it fucking was all over the internet.
00:28:47It went up on Luke Ford's blog.
00:28:49I'm sure you remember him.
00:28:51And so everybody read it, and it got back to that client, and they freaked out,
00:28:54and they blacklisted me for like eight years.
00:28:56Oh, no.
00:28:57Yeah, and I totally deserved it.
00:28:59But that was that one time when I was like, wow, you really fucking have to be careful
00:29:03about what you say on the internet, because it will come back and haunt you.
00:29:08It's crazy.
00:29:09Yeah, and that was back before all this, too.
00:29:11Yeah.
00:29:12That was a time when that didn't happen as much.
00:29:14No, no.
00:29:15I mean, people could really, you know, if I put that on Twitter, then that, you know,
00:29:18somebody would have found that and brought that back up.
00:29:20But I didn't.
00:29:21I put it on this forum that I don't even know if it exists anymore.
00:29:25So that actually brings me back to your blog, which I was kind of skimming over
00:29:30before you came over here.
00:29:32And your last entry was a really good and interesting one.
00:29:35And it was about this guy who, you know, was one of your customers, I assume,
00:29:40and his obsession with an ex-girlfriend.
00:29:43And that you worked with him like crafting an email to send her where he wanted to
00:29:50confess his strange fetishes and how he incorporated her into that, right?
00:29:56Yeah.
00:29:57And then she freaked out.
00:29:58And what I got from that blog was you kind of saying like,
00:30:03look, it's not okay for you to unload.
00:30:06Like, it's not necessarily a bad thing for you to have these strange fetishes,
00:30:10but you can't just unload them onto like unwitting, like unwilling women.
00:30:15Yeah.
00:30:16Yeah, you can't involve someone that didn't agree to be involved.
00:30:19And I wrote that story because, like, I wanted to point out the fact that, like,
00:30:26I got wrapped up into it as well.
00:30:28Like, he had this fantasy.
00:30:30Basically, he really liked wearing diapers and a little chastity belt,
00:30:33and he was like this little adult baby.
00:30:35And he was a sweetheart.
00:30:36He, like, wouldn't hurt a fly, you know, nice guy.
00:30:41He just kind of got wrapped up in his fantasy.
00:30:43And, like, he only had one girlfriend ever in college.
00:30:45And she ended up, after they broke up, she came out as a lesbian.
00:30:49And so that kind of added to his fantasy.
00:30:51Like, oh, you know, the one girl I date turns out to be a lesbian and all this.
00:30:55Did he feel like he was responsible for her?
00:30:57Kind of.
00:30:58And that was, like, you know, just a part of his fantasy.
00:31:00Right.
00:31:01And so he wanted to, like, he hadn't talked to her for years,
00:31:04and he, like, had this fantasy of, like, reaching out to her
00:31:07and telling her, like, what he had become, you know, after their breakup.
00:31:14And so I was like, all right, well, you know,
00:31:16because he just would talk about obsess over it.
00:31:18I was like, okay, well, you know, he found out, like, her email.
00:31:20I was like, well, just email her.
00:31:21And so that's how it started out.
00:31:23And he emailed her and said hi, and he'd show me the emails.
00:31:25And, you know, she was, like, excited to hear from him.
00:31:27He was like, oh, how's it going?
00:31:28You know, she's an artist, like, all this stuff.
00:31:30And then he, you know, had this idea of, like, the email,
00:31:34where he would confess, like, all the things that he's into and blah, blah, blah.
00:31:39And when we'd talk, he would basically write the email and tweak it here and there
00:31:45and blah, blah, blah, and basically just kind of draw out the whole process.
00:31:48Like, the email was fine, you know.
00:31:50And I was just so frustrated.
00:31:51I was just like, just send it to her already, you know.
00:31:53And so finally he sent it to her.
00:31:55And, you know, a few days later she, you know, wrote an email back,
00:31:59and it was just very sobering.
00:32:01Like, she was just like, what the fuck, dude?
00:32:03You know, like, I was excited to hear from you,
00:32:05and, you know, you just kind of used me as a means to an end and all this.
00:32:09And, like, yeah, I felt bad about it.
00:32:13I was like, shit.
00:32:14Like, we absolutely just used this girl, you know.
00:32:17And I know she's traumatized by it or anything like that,
00:32:20but it kind of speaks to a bigger problem I see
00:32:25where there's some guys that are, you know, they want to flash women.
00:32:28And especially with, like, submissive guys that I deal with,
00:32:32they have this idea that they are making themselves vulnerable.
00:32:38Like, these women are going to humiliate them,
00:32:40and they don't realize that women don't take it like that.
00:32:43If some stranger comes up to them and flashes them,
00:32:45they're going to be disgusted.
00:32:46They're going to be angry.
00:32:47They're going to feel gross, you know.
00:32:48They're going to feel violated.
00:32:49They're going to feel violated.
00:32:50Yeah, absolutely.
00:32:52And I think it's an important thing to know
00:32:54because I think when people talk about these things,
00:32:57they often talk about how it's a power thing.
00:33:00And in a way, it kind of is, but not the way they think.
00:33:03You know, the men that do it, at least, like, in the cases of, like,
00:33:07my types of clients, I'm sure guys will do it all sorts of reasons,
00:33:10they think they're giving the women the power.
00:33:12You know, they think they're being vulnerable.
00:33:15And it's important to know that because if we're going to change this,
00:33:18we've got to know why it's happening.
00:33:19Right, right.
00:33:20So, yeah, that entry was just about, you know,
00:33:23just be aware because I got wrapped into it.
00:33:26I made mistakes.
00:33:27And, you know, don't involve other unsuspecting women into these games.
00:33:32It's not fair to them.
00:33:34Like, even if it's just an email you sent, like, it's fucked up.
00:33:37Like, just put yourself in their shoes and, like, you know,
00:33:40just imagine you heard from an old-time friend and you get all excited
00:33:43and then all of a sudden he sends you a perverted email.
00:33:45Yeah.
00:33:46That's shitty.
00:33:47Yeah.
00:33:48At all.
00:33:49Especially, like, when you're really not expecting it.
00:33:50Yeah, exactly.
00:33:51And that's kind of where someone like you comes in
00:33:53as almost a therapeutic alternative because you can handle that.
00:33:57Right.
00:33:58Like, you're, you know, you've practiced this.
00:34:01Yeah.
00:34:02And it doesn't bother you.
00:34:04So, that's interesting.
00:34:06So, it's kind of this idea, like, don't subject other women to this weird shit,
00:34:10but I can take it.
00:34:11Yeah, yeah.
00:34:12It's like, you know, don't go to a massage therapist for, you know, a hand job.
00:34:16Yeah.
00:34:17Go to the Jack Shack for it.
00:34:18Yeah.
00:34:19Like, someone who does that professionally.
00:34:21Yeah, exactly.
00:34:22And, you know, and there's ways of going about it
00:34:24because I understand the fetish of, like, being exposed and humiliated.
00:34:27And there's just other ways you can do it.
00:34:29Like, you know, a lot of us girls have, you know, pretty big Twitter following.
00:34:33You know, they could post your picture on Twitter
00:34:35or they can show it to other friends in the industry and stuff like that.
00:34:38Like, there's other ways to scratch that itch.
00:34:41Yeah, I mean, I've heard from girls that have done videos
00:34:44where guys literally, like, guys will pay a bunch of girls to get together
00:34:49to look at a photo of him or a video of him and, like, make fun of him.
00:34:53I mean, there's a whole small penis humiliation videos.
00:34:56Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:34:57You know, and those are hilarious.
00:34:59Yeah.
00:35:00But the guys are, like, totally into it.
00:35:02Have you ever had a guy tell you why?
00:35:07Like, have you ever wondered what's behind the fetish?
00:35:09Like, and have you had people kind of explain it to you?
00:35:13Because that's what's curious to me.
00:35:16Like, what happened to you that made you into this kind of thing?
00:35:19Or did anything happen to you?
00:35:21And it's just, like, there doesn't seem to be, like, a common thread.
00:35:25Like, some guys, like, can pinpoint it.
00:35:28They'll be, like, you know, oh, you know, my sister used to bully me
00:35:31and make me smell her socks.
00:35:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:34It's a little obvious.
00:35:35And, like, some people are just, like, I don't know.
00:35:37Some people are, like, yeah, I don't know.
00:35:39I just discovered, you know, an old femdom magazine, you know, from the 80s.
00:35:44And it just really intrigued me.
00:35:46So it is kind of an interesting question.
00:35:50But because there doesn't seem to be a common answer, it's just, like, who knows?
00:35:55Yeah, it's just, like, human sexuality is so multifaceted.
00:35:58Because, I mean, I'm very submissive in the bedroom.
00:36:01And I totally enjoy, like, being degraded in the bedroom and that kind of thing.
00:36:06And I've thought about, like, that for myself.
00:36:09Like, why do I like that?
00:36:10Because I had never experienced that as a kid.
00:36:12I wasn't emotionally abused or physically abused or anything.
00:36:15I had a great childhood.
00:36:16My parents were awesome.
00:36:18I mean, I was bullied in school as a kid.
00:36:20But who wasn't?
00:36:22You know?
00:36:23I mean, it wasn't, like, anything crazy hardcore.
00:36:26So I think it has to do with, you know, what I do for a living.
00:36:31I mean, you know, I'm my own boss.
00:36:33I run my own company.
00:36:34I have a lot of people who work under me.
00:36:36I'm in charge all the time.
00:36:38And I think I just enjoy, like, you know, when I'm involved in, like, a sexual encounter,
00:36:44I kind of want to flip that switch and not have to make fucking decisions.
00:36:49And not be in charge, like, for once in my life.
00:36:52And let somebody else do it.
00:36:54And I don't know.
00:36:55I think maybe also, too, there's also, like, a part of me that's always strove to, like, be the best.
00:36:59And, like, I'm super competitive.
00:37:01And I want, you know, all this validation for all my hard work.
00:37:04So maybe there's something, again, in the bedroom I want the opposite.
00:37:08Someone tell me, like, a dirty little worthless bitch.
00:37:10Like, yes, please.
00:37:12I don't know what it was.
00:37:13It's, like, you know, the human psyche is so strange.
00:37:16Yeah.
00:37:17It sounds to me like it's, like, a taboo in your life.
00:37:18Yeah.
00:37:19Taboos are always, you know, someone's getting off to some kind of taboo.
00:37:21Yeah.
00:37:22I think, you know what?
00:37:23That's a good point.
00:37:24Because I think also, too, what plays into that is my mom being such a strong woman.
00:37:28And always teaching me to be independent.
00:37:30And I was always taught to never rely on a man.
00:37:32And always, like, you know, make your own way.
00:37:35And be your own woman.
00:37:37And don't take shit from people.
00:37:38And so, yeah.
00:37:40So I think, like, I don't know why I never thought about it in that way.
00:37:43But I think you're right.
00:37:44It's, like, it's that taboo of, like, actually not actually taking shit from somebody.
00:37:49Totally.
00:37:50And letting somebody talk to me in a way that I would never allow them to speak to me, like, outside of the bedroom.
00:37:55Like, if you ever said any, you know, you called me, like, a worthless little cunt outside of the bedroom, I'd punch you in the face.
00:38:01Right.
00:38:02But, like, you know, when I'm naked, I'm like, yes.
00:38:04Tell me that.
00:38:06I only like being called names when you're naked.
00:38:08Yeah.
00:38:09What about you?
00:38:12Because you're in a relationship, right?
00:38:13No.
00:38:14No, I'm single.
00:38:15Oh, you are single.
00:38:16Yeah.
00:38:17So, okay.
00:38:18So when you are in a relationship, how are you with that person?
00:38:22Are you dominant still?
00:38:23Do you still play that role?
00:38:24No, I keep it really separate.
00:38:26And that's one thing I really like about my job is that I don't get off on what I do for a living.
00:38:32So it's really easy to compartmentalize it and keep it really separate.
00:38:35That makes sense.
00:38:36Yeah.
00:38:37Same for me, actually.
00:38:38People are always like, don't you get turned on doing what you do?
00:38:39I'm like, nope.
00:38:40Yeah.
00:38:41Absolutely not.
00:38:42Yeah.
00:38:43I think it makes it much better.
00:38:44I mean, I don't know.
00:38:45I've never done, like, hardcore porn or anything.
00:38:48But I imagine, like, you just get burnt out.
00:38:50Like, you know, you're getting paid, you know, and then you probably don't want to, you know, fuck as much.
00:38:55Oh, yeah.
00:38:56I don't know why I thought you were, like, trying to relate to somebody being behind the camera.
00:39:00I don't know why I would assume that.
00:39:02But, yeah, I know what you mean about being a porn.
00:39:05Yeah, I don't know what that's like.
00:39:06And I think it's different for different people.
00:39:08Like, I think some of these girls and guys really have, like, a strong sex drive.
00:39:12And it doesn't change that.
00:39:15But I would imagine it's got to make other people jaded.
00:39:18Yeah.
00:39:19And, like, kind of less interested in sex.
00:39:21Yeah, especially it's, like, when you're dependent on that money.
00:39:23Yeah.
00:39:24And, like, you know, you have to, you know, basically have to do it.
00:39:27So, yeah, I imagine it would just tire you out after a while.
00:39:29Yeah.
00:39:30Yeah, I don't have, like, a, yeah, I probably have a pretty average libido, but not a huge one.
00:39:34Right.
00:39:35So I don't think I could keep up with it.
00:39:36Yeah.
00:39:37How do you come up with all the shit that you say?
00:39:40Like, is it just, like, is it just, like, kind of automatic now?
00:39:43Yeah.
00:39:44Yeah, it is.
00:39:45It's pretty easy for me now.
00:39:47I just learn from talking to guys on the phone.
00:39:49Like, that's kind of how I first started.
00:39:51Before, like, the ability to, like, kind of live cam came along.
00:39:55Yeah.
00:39:56Or, like, even just my videos where it's just me.
00:39:58Like, there's no interaction I can bounce off of.
00:40:01Yeah, I just learn so much from just talking to guys.
00:40:04So that's usually my recommendation if any girl is, like, wants to do what I do.
00:40:07It's just, like, start just talking to them on the phone.
00:40:09Just jump in.
00:40:11It can be kind of intimidating at first, but I remember my first phone call.
00:40:14I was, like, really nervous, but I just, you know, this guy had a foot fetish,
00:40:18and I just talked about him sucking on my toes, and he loved it.
00:40:21He was, like, you were awesome.
00:40:23And so it was, like, a really good first call.
00:40:25I was, like, all right, I can do this.
00:40:26Yeah.
00:40:27And then, yeah, from there it's, like, the fetishes are so odd,
00:40:31especially when you're looking at it from the outside in.
00:40:34But the more you talk to guys, you realize there's, like, a template, you know?
00:40:39And you kind of learn about each fetish and kind of what fetishes are connected to it.
00:40:43And you just get to a point where, you know, a guy can call you,
00:40:46and he can just tell you, like, a couple things, and you're, like, okay, I got this.
00:40:49And, you know, you kind of go off from there.
00:40:51So, yeah, it's all improvised at this point.
00:40:56Yeah.
00:40:58So I also saw on your blog that you had, like, a kind of, like, rundown for girls
00:41:03if they wanted to get into what you do.
00:41:06So could you expand on that a little bit more?
00:41:09Yeah, I'm trying to think.
00:41:10I've done a few blogs.
00:41:11I have one blog that's called 10 Steps to Becoming a Humilatrix.
00:41:16Yes.
00:41:17I think that might have been the one that I read.
00:41:18Yeah, and then I had another blog about financial domination
00:41:21and how to find, like, big, huge payers, like, you know?
00:41:26Which that one's a little more disappointing,
00:41:28because basically my message is you've got to actually do the work.
00:41:30Like, you have to put out videos and do phone stuff.
00:41:33Like, you can't just, you know, hold up a shingle and then find some big paying guy.
00:41:38They usually kind of come out of the woodworks
00:41:40because you have all this other material out there.
00:41:42Yeah.
00:41:43You're staying active.
00:41:44That makes sense.
00:41:46So basically they find you.
00:41:47You don't find them.
00:41:48But, yeah, 10 Steps.
00:41:50Let's see, I wrote that a while ago.
00:41:53I think probably the first bit of advice was just to, you know,
00:41:58assume that, you know, if you do this,
00:42:01that everyone you know is going to find out, because they will.
00:42:05That's pretty much what I tell people who do porn, too.
00:42:07I'm like, it's the internet.
00:42:08Everyone's going to find out.
00:42:09Yeah, and it's so funny the pushback you get from that sometimes.
00:42:12It's like, well, this is so weird.
00:42:14You know, they won't go here on the internet.
00:42:16I'm just like, it just takes one person.
00:42:19Somebody will, somebody will.
00:42:21Yeah, and they don't even have to know you that well.
00:42:23And then they're going to be like, recognize you,
00:42:25and then they're going to tell everyone.
00:42:27So I think that's a big step, you know?
00:42:29If you aren't comfortable with your grandma knowing what you do,
00:42:32then you probably shouldn't do it, because she'll probably figure out eventually.
00:42:35Does your family know what you do?
00:42:37And they're cool with it?
00:42:38Yeah, they're really cool about it.
00:42:40Yeah, they're awesome.
00:42:41My dad loves it.
00:42:42He thinks it's hilarious.
00:42:43Yeah, he thinks it's hilarious.
00:42:45That's awesome.
00:42:46He just, like, brags all his friends.
00:42:49So that's cool.
00:42:50I feel lucky with that.
00:42:52And then, yeah, I guess I kind of go into just, like, starting phone lines.
00:42:56I really do think that's just, like, the best way to do it,
00:42:58just, like, talking to these guys.
00:43:00The thing about dudes is they really love telling women of no consequence
00:43:06what they get off on.
00:43:08So it's like, not only are you getting paid to talk to them,
00:43:10but they're giving you gold.
00:43:12It's information of what they like and stuff.
00:43:15And then, I don't know, it's not rocket science from there.
00:43:17Set up a webcam, set up a video camera, and just try it out.
00:43:24It can be really awkward, I think, at first,
00:43:27but the trick is just to kind of keep going
00:43:29and not be too much of a perfectionist
00:43:30and just put content out there,
00:43:32and you'll get better as long as you keep doing it.
00:43:34Yeah.
00:43:35So that leads me to specifically asking about financial domination,
00:43:38because that, to me, is something that is super, super interesting.
00:43:41That is a fetish that a lot of people didn't even know existed.
00:43:44Foot fetish, everybody knows about.
00:43:47Balloon popping fetish, some people know about.
00:43:50Pie-in-the-face fetish, which is my personal favorite.
00:43:54Not everybody knows about, but that is a thing, people.
00:43:57But just being a financial dominatrix is such an interesting thing,
00:44:01because you're literally, and I think a lot,
00:44:03and actually, every financial dominatrix that I know doesn't get naked.
00:44:09And I think people hear that and they think,
00:44:13oh, that's so great and so easy.
00:44:15I'm just going to go online and say, give me all your money,
00:44:17and then just guys are going to be throwing cash at you.
00:44:20But it can't possibly be that easy.
00:44:23No, I mean, like you said, it sounds awesome,
00:44:26so therefore, there's going to be a lot of supply for very little demand.
00:44:29There's going to be plenty of women that want to make money that way,
00:44:33and there's going to be a few men that want to give their money in that way.
00:44:36So yeah, I always describe financial domination as basically
00:44:39when a guy gets off on giving a woman his money, and that's his fetish.
00:44:43Normally, that alone is pretty rare.
00:44:48Normally, it's kind of tied to other fetishes,
00:44:51like being humiliated or something to that effect.
00:44:54Sometimes it's like they want to see you on cam,
00:44:57like they want an interaction, and they'll just pay you three times your rate
00:45:00or something like that.
00:45:03Other times, a guy will get off on the idea of a woman having access to his bank records
00:45:11or having a credit card.
00:45:13Interesting. So they'll actually supply you with sensitive information.
00:45:17Yeah, well, in theory.
00:45:19So they'll want you to budget for them, or they'll put a credit card out
00:45:25under their name for you or whatever.
00:45:29But a lot of that is just kind of fantasy.
00:45:31It's usually if you find a guy that's into that,
00:45:34it's like a 10-minute conversation where you just talk about that,
00:45:37and then he gets off.
00:45:39Does not actually give you his credit card.
00:45:42Yeah, I heard that from another girl who was like,
00:45:45The problem with the financial domination thing is a lot of guys want to hear you talk about that,
00:45:50be like, give me all your fucking money, you little piece of shit,
00:45:54and then they actually won't give you that money that they want you to talk about giving them.
00:46:00Yeah, that's why you have to have them call your phone lines
00:46:03or make sure they prepay for cam to talk about it,
00:46:06because yeah, they'll bullshit you and try to get off for free.
00:46:09I remember one time I had a guy call me, and he was just like,
00:46:12Tell me how much money you made this month.
00:46:15And I was like, I made this month.
00:46:17He's like, oh, it's so hot. How much did you spend?
00:46:19I'm like, this much.
00:46:21How much did you make last year?
00:46:23And I'm like, I made this much.
00:46:25And then he hangs up.
00:46:27It was like one-minute call cost him five bucks.
00:46:31So he gets off on the fantasy, but clearly he's not paying me a lot of money.
00:46:36What's the most amount of money somebody's sent you?
00:46:40Yeah, so last year there was a guy who, I'm not sure what happened.
00:46:46If someone died, he got a bunch of inheritance or what.
00:46:49He'd always been a good payer, but this time he had made the rounds
00:46:52with I think there were four or five of us girls, and he spent a shit ton of money.
00:46:57Me and one day, he spent $60,000.
00:47:01And then he paid other girls even more than that.
00:47:03And I think we all kind of added it up.
00:47:05It came to like a quarter million he spent on us in just a couple weeks.
00:47:08Wow.
00:47:09Did he actually send you money, or did he buy you stuff?
00:47:12No, he sent us money.
00:47:13In my case, I was just hanging out with friends.
00:47:17I was going out to brunch, and then I was just talking to him on WhatsApp or whatever.
00:47:21And I was just texting him, sending him pictures here and there, and that was about it.
00:47:24And then he was just dumping money into my account.
00:47:27Wow.
00:47:28Yeah, that was wild.
00:47:29That was pretty cool.
00:47:31That doesn't always happen.
00:47:32No.
00:47:33I mean, that's never happened before.
00:47:35Yeah, I would imagine it's probably pretty up and down.
00:47:37You probably have some months where you get somebody who pays you a lot,
00:47:40and then you have other months which are not as, yeah.
00:47:43Totally, yeah.
00:47:44And these guys, when stuff like that happens, they just vanish.
00:47:48They'll come back, but you've got to get it while it's hot is the trick.
00:47:53If you see them, it's like, drop everything and tend to this guy,
00:47:56because otherwise he's going to disappear for a while.
00:47:59Have you ever had a situation where you had somebody who was paying you a lot of money,
00:48:02and then something like their wife found out or something like that?
00:48:05Not that I know of.
00:48:06I've had guys, well, I've had quote-unquote wives message me and say things like,
00:48:13I caught my husband watching your videos.
00:48:16How should I punish him?
00:48:18Oh, gee, I wonder who that came from.
00:48:22So as far as I know, I haven't talked to any actual wives.
00:48:26Okay, cool.
00:48:27There is a couple that buys videos from me.
00:48:30So it's a guy and girl, and the girlfriend is the one that emails me.
00:48:34I've never talked to the guy.
00:48:36And she orders these custom videos, and it's his fetish,
00:48:40but she orders the videos, and then they watch them together,
00:48:42which I think is kind of sweet.
00:48:44That is cool.
00:48:45I was going to ask you if you had any female customers ever, or if it was just men.
00:48:48Yeah, it's pretty much just men.
00:48:50She's the only one, the closest I have to a female customer,
00:48:53but even that's, you know, if it weren't for him, she wouldn't be buying the videos.
00:48:56They're pretty crazy videos, too.
00:48:59Basically, it's some variation of me pretending to be his sister,
00:49:03making fun of the fact that he has to get a circumcision,
00:49:06and that he won't be able to masturbate for six weeks,
00:49:09and it's going to be so painful.
00:49:12It's pretty dark.
00:49:14I just think his girlfriend is girlfriend of the year,
00:49:17that she's just like, yeah, cool, let's watch it together.
00:49:21Now, you've been a financial dominatrix for a while.
00:49:25Have you seen a lot of girls jump on that bandwagon?
00:49:28Oh, hell yeah.
00:49:30When I first started, I feel like there was five girls doing this,
00:49:32and now it's just thousands and thousands.
00:49:35It's just like you said, it looks really easy from the outside.
00:49:38It's like, oh, I just have to flip a guy off and tell him to give me money?
00:49:41That's great.
00:49:43There's an art to it.
00:49:45Yeah, I think so.
00:49:47There's time and work you have to put into it.
00:49:49How many clips do you usually do a week?
00:49:52I do three new videos a week.
00:49:54And I have about 1,700 at this point.
00:49:56Jesus.
00:49:57Yeah, quite a bit.
00:49:58Do you ever feel like you run out of things to say?
00:50:01Oh, yeah, totally.
00:50:04I get a lot of customs, which is really nice.
00:50:08Yeah, because people tell you specifically what they want.
00:50:11Yeah, right.
00:50:13And when I run out of customs, it is kind of a drag to like,
00:50:16fuck, what should I do now?
00:50:18I mean, a lot of it is kind of repetitive,
00:50:20so it's not like it's super fresh and original every time.
00:50:23Yeah, it's impossible to do that.
00:50:25Yeah, it's usually just kind of a spin on things I've done before.
00:50:28Yeah, because you're always going to have new people coming in,
00:50:31and then people who are seeing your new stuff
00:50:33haven't necessarily seen the older stuff.
00:50:35Right.
00:50:36Yeah, it's impossible to always be the same.
00:50:38Totally.
00:50:39I've definitely gotten feedback sometimes.
00:50:41We did a survey for this podcast, and people were like,
00:50:43sometimes Holly tells the same story.
00:50:45I'm like, I only get so many stories, people.
00:50:48And not everybody listens to every single episode, so I'm sorry.
00:50:52I feel like that's true for every podcast host.
00:50:54I listen to a lot of podcasts.
00:50:56We have a mutual friend, Chris Ryan.
00:50:58His podcast is great, super popular.
00:51:00He tells the same stories all the time.
00:51:02Of course, of course.
00:51:04And also, two people drop in and out of podcasts.
00:51:06I listen to Joe Rogan.
00:51:08He's the undisputed king of podcasts.
00:51:10His stuff is fucking great.
00:51:12But I do not listen to all.
00:51:14I get bored.
00:51:15I totally get bored of one podcast.
00:51:17I'm obsessed with How Stuff Works, and then I got bored.
00:51:21And I stopped listening.
00:51:22And then I loved Lore, and then I got bored.
00:51:24And I stopped listening.
00:51:25Yeah, I'm the same way.
00:51:26I'll usually binge on one, and then kind of switch to another.
00:51:28And then I'm like, meh, over it.
00:51:30What are some other good ones?
00:51:31I need a good new podcast.
00:51:32I think Kevin Smith's podcast is really good.
00:51:34Okay.
00:51:35Yeah, Smodcast.
00:51:36Smodcast?
00:51:37Smodcast.
00:51:38It's with his producer, Scott Mosher.
00:51:40Okay.
00:51:41Smodcast.
00:51:42What is it about?
00:51:43It's just the two of them shooting the shit,
00:51:45and I think Kevin Smith is just hilarious.
00:51:47Yeah.
00:51:48I feel like the podcasting platform is just built for comedians.
00:51:51It is.
00:51:52It is.
00:51:53Yeah, I definitely listen to a lot of them,
00:51:55and I'm like, fuck, dude, I am not that funny.
00:51:57I've literally thought to myself,
00:51:59is there somewhere I can go where I can take classes on how to be funnier?
00:52:04Is that possible?
00:52:05Maybe.
00:52:06Well, I think there's stand-up comedian classes.
00:52:09I don't want to be a stand-up comedian.
00:52:12I just need to be more interesting on the microphone.
00:52:17Ernie's laughing.
00:52:18He's like, what?
00:52:21How many episodes have you done?
00:52:23How many episodes have we done?
00:52:24Like 70, right?
00:52:25Oh, okay.
00:52:26Yeah.
00:52:27So it's pretty new.
00:52:28It is pretty new.
00:52:29I feel like I'm learning, and I feel like I'm getting better.
00:52:32Right, Ernie?
00:52:33I'm better.
00:52:34He's like, yeah, whatever.
00:52:35No, you're not.
00:52:36You suck.
00:52:37I definitely listen.
00:52:38Actually, I'll be honest.
00:52:40I don't listen to a lot of my podcasts over again because I just bore myself.
00:52:46I just don't want to listen to myself.
00:52:48Oh, yeah.
00:52:49I never listen to mine either.
00:52:50My co-host, he was like, he'll listen to them like three times,
00:52:53and he's really critical about it.
00:52:54And that's probably good.
00:52:55He's probably learning and getting better,
00:52:57and I'm just like, I don't want to hear my voice.
00:52:59Yeah, I definitely do that.
00:53:01If I do listen to it, I think to myself, fuck, you say like a lot.
00:53:05You say you know a lot.
00:53:07You say uh a lot.
00:53:09Sometimes there's these awkward pauses where clearly I'm looking for the right word.
00:53:14Sometimes words just escape me.
00:53:16I was on this track, and I had this big verbose adjective I was going to use,
00:53:21and then it's gone, and I'm like, fuck.
00:53:24I was going to say something, and I was going to sound so smart,
00:53:26and it's just out the fucking window.
00:53:28My brain just shut down.
00:53:30It's hard.
00:53:32I'm sure the more you do it, the better you get.
00:53:34That's my hope.
00:53:36Are you loving doing a podcast?
00:53:37Yeah, I really like it.
00:53:38It's funny you mentioned the ums and uhs and the feelers.
00:53:41I had to re-listen to one of the podcasts we did recently,
00:53:45and yeah, it was cringing.
00:53:47It was cringing because I say kinda a lot,
00:53:49and I feel like that devalues what I'm saying.
00:53:52It's kind of like this.
00:53:53It's like, no, it's like this.
00:53:54It is like this, yeah.
00:53:56It's not kinda like this.
00:53:57I hear what you're saying.
00:53:58Yeah, I do the same thing.
00:53:59I mean, you know.
00:54:01You know, see?
00:54:02Fuck.
00:54:03You know what?
00:54:04We just need to put an electric shock collar on me,
00:54:06and then every time I say that, you just zap me.
00:54:09Get a dominatrix to do it.
00:54:13Stand in the corner.
00:54:14That would actually be a great episode if I interviewed a dominatrix,
00:54:17and then every time I said like or you know, she just zapped me.
00:54:21That would be amazing.
00:54:22Sorry, mistress.
00:54:24Sorry, mistress.
00:54:25I'm a terrible speaker.
00:54:28So any big dreams and aspirations for the future?
00:54:32Are you going to just keep doing what you're doing?
00:54:36Yeah, just keep doing what I'm doing.
00:54:37I have a pretty good life.
00:54:39I like my job a lot, and for whatever reason, it still pays really well,
00:54:43so that's nice, and I like to travel.
00:54:46I've been, especially the last few years, I've been traveling,
00:54:49like backpacking at least like three months out of the year.
00:54:52Oh, that's amazing.
00:54:53Do you go by yourself?
00:54:54Mm-hmm.
00:54:55You know, there's something to be said about traveling by yourself.
00:54:57I love it.
00:54:58You get to do whatever you want.
00:55:00You don't have to go by somebody else's schedule.
00:55:02And you meet new people that way.
00:55:03Yeah.
00:55:04You know, if you go with just your friends,
00:55:06you're probably just going to hang out with your friends.
00:55:08Some people are just so outgoing that you end up meeting new people
00:55:11because of them, but otherwise, you know,
00:55:14you'd probably just hang out with your little posse,
00:55:16so that's what I like about it.
00:55:17It kind of forces me to because I'm kind of introverted.
00:55:19It forces me to talk to new people and make new friends.
00:55:23Do you ever like join one of those like tour groups or anything like that?
00:55:27No, I usually stay at hostels, which I feel like,
00:55:29that's a good place to meet people.
00:55:31Yeah, really good place to meet people.
00:55:33And a lot of them are really nice, and they'll have activities you can do
00:55:37and, you know, access to like that sort of thing.
00:55:40I've never stayed in a hostel.
00:55:42I've always had this idea that they're like,
00:55:44the idea of shared bathrooms makes me cringe because I'm such a snob.
00:55:48No, I get it.
00:55:49And I think they used to be really shitty.
00:55:52I think, you know, what people think of hostels, that used to be true.
00:55:56Yeah.
00:55:57But not so much anymore.
00:55:58I mean, there's a little app called Hostel World,
00:56:01and they're all up there, and they have to compete with each other.
00:56:03That's true.
00:56:04And so a lot of them are really good.
00:56:06Yeah, that's true.
00:56:07I mean, the internet has really like created this level playing field
00:56:11where you have so many options now.
00:56:13You've got to really up your game kind of like for you.
00:56:16Yes.
00:56:17Have you felt like the internet's kind of been a blessing and a curse in that way
00:56:20where it's allowed you to obviously be able to do your job and sell your stuff,
00:56:24but then also it's given the same platform to like 10,000 other girls to do the same thing?
00:56:29I think it's mostly been a blessing.
00:56:31I think it's great.
00:56:32It's awesome that the internet has transformed the adult industry.
00:56:38You might have different opinions about this, but like you don't need a middleman, you know?
00:56:43Yes.
00:56:44So that's how a lot of girls do get exploited.
00:56:48And so if you can just have a laptop and a webcam,
00:56:53you can be in business.
00:56:55So I think that's awesome.
00:56:56And I think it's pretty cool that any girl can do it more or less.
00:56:59It is tricky because the market's really saturated,
00:57:02but I've just been lucky starting when I did and having the luxury of time to build my name.
00:57:07I mean, I make more money now than I did when I was 20.
00:57:12So yeah, it's just been awesome.
00:57:15I would hate to have to start now, that's for sure.
00:57:18Yeah, I know.
00:57:20Yeah, it's very competitive out there.
00:57:22Yeah, I mean, I'm happy about how the internet has put more power into the hands of the performers.
00:57:28I think that that's really important.
00:57:30And like you said, it's cut out the middleman.
00:57:32So I really like to see that because I like to see women being self-empowered
00:57:36and being their own entrepreneur.
00:57:38And for me, it's definitely made—at the beginning, it was great for us,
00:57:42and then it kind of made things harder because everything's free.
00:57:47But I just hustle on 10,000 different levels and make it work.
00:57:53Have you thought about doing what you do, but also with my sort of spin?
00:57:58Because the girls you shoot, you shoot them like they're stunning.
00:58:03They're like goddesses, and that kind of ties into what I do
00:58:07because I tell people that I'm this unattainable goddess.
00:58:10So have you thought about shooting girls and just the way you do and the beautiful sets
00:58:15and they look so glamorous, but then having them say shitty things to men?
00:58:20Are you suggesting a business opportunity here, Mrs. Lynch?
00:58:24I don't know. I think it would be a good little spin.
00:58:26Yeah, I don't know. How would I sell that?
00:58:29I would sell the fetish clip, but aren't fans specific to certain girls?
00:58:34Isn't that what they're after?
00:58:36Yeah.
00:58:37That they get attached to certain girls?
00:58:38That's true, but if you get a girl that's good at it, there might be something to it.
00:58:41You could sell the little five, ten minute videos on I Want Clips or something like that.
00:58:46Because you have the ultra glam look, which is really cool.
00:58:50You're really selling that fantasy.
00:58:52If you combine it with that, I think you'd have a good edge.
00:58:55Because most of us girls, it's like shooting out of our apartment.
00:58:59Yeah, that's true.
00:59:01I mean, it works, but if you have your sets, you've got to step up.
00:59:07This is actually something I'm seriously going to consider, because that's not a bad idea.
00:59:11I used to shoot a lot of fetish, and then when the fetish magazines died,
00:59:16because a lot of my income came from magazines, I just kind of stopped.
00:59:19But I miss it. I miss putting a girl in latex.
00:59:25I actually just did a whole latex shoot earlier this week.
00:59:30And having those extravagant sets and all of that, that is a lot of fun.
00:59:36I might give that a shot.
00:59:38Yeah.
00:59:39It's not a bad idea.
00:59:41Maybe I will shoot you someday.
00:59:45Ten years later, I'm finally going to get you in front of my camera.
00:59:49Full circle.
00:59:50I know, right?
00:59:51Well, thank you so much for coming on.
00:59:53It was really, really great to see you, and this was super interesting.
00:59:56Yeah, thanks for having me.
00:59:58Of course. Can you tell everybody where they can find you, plug all your things?
01:00:02Sure. You can find my website. It's CiaraLynch.com.
01:00:06That's spelled C-E-A-R-A-L-Y-N-C-H.
01:00:10And you can check out my podcast. It's called Standard Deviation.
01:00:13And wherever you listen to podcasts, you can probably just search it and find it.
01:00:17Yeah. And then on social media, where do they find you?
01:00:19I am Ciara underscore Lynch, and that's the main one.
01:00:24And then Ciara Lynch on Instagram. Yeah, that's all. My name.
01:00:28Okay, so Ciara underscore Lynch for Twitter.
01:00:30Yeah.
01:00:31And then Ciara Lynch on Instagram.
01:00:33Yeah. My Twitter got suspended, so I had to start anew with an underscore on Twitter.
01:00:37Why did you put Twitter gets suspended?
01:00:39They won't tell me.
01:00:40They never tell you.
01:00:42And you don't even get naked.
01:00:44No.
01:00:45What the hell?
01:00:46That doesn't make any sense.
01:00:47I think it was a glitch, kind of a buggy thing that happened.
01:00:52Oh, well.
01:00:53Oh, well.
01:00:54It's time for the best.
01:00:55Yeah.
01:00:56I probably shouldn't have opened a new one.
01:00:59And you guys know where you can find me, at Holly Randall on Instagram and on Twitter.
01:01:04And if you want to support this podcast, go to patreon.com slash holly randall unfiltered,
01:01:10where I will definitely take all your money.
01:01:13Yes.
01:01:14Give it all to me, you worthless motherfucker. I'm just kidding. I love you all.
01:01:18Just kidding. No, you guys are awesome.
01:01:20Okay. Bye. See you next week.
01:01:21Bye, guys.