Taskmaster AU S02E07
Taskmaster AU S02E07
Transcript
00:00ahhhh, ahhh, ahhhh, aahhhhh.
00:09ahhh, ahhhhh, aahhhhh.
00:15Hello, welcome to the highly anticipated seventh episode of Taskmaster Australia.
00:43It's the show that answers the burning question, what if comedians had feelings?
00:47And what if the man hosting them did not give a single shit about those feelings?
00:52I am that host, and yes, I am who you think I am, the man who killed and is wearing the
00:57skin of Tom Gleeson.
00:59Sitting in front of me, as always, are five sweet, innocent children between the ages
01:07of 29 and 50.
01:09They are Anne Edmonds, Jenny Tian, Judge Thomas, Lloyd Lankford, and Will Anderson.
01:24And here beside me, a man who I'd love to get to know better if his dressing room didn't
01:30smell so much of Nutri-Grain.
01:33It's my assistant, Lesser Tom.
01:36G'day mate, how are you going?
01:40I'm not too bad.
01:41I've always wanted to be one of those guys that everyone knows can do a backflip.
01:44So I've been practising, not backflips, because that's too hard, I've been practising telling
01:49people I can do a backflip.
01:50I can do a backflip.
01:54Alright, sugar lips, sweeten the air with details of our prize task, please.
02:01Tonight, our comedians have been asked to bring in a thing that is great to have one
02:05of, but gets progressively worse the more you have.
02:08Oh, okay.
02:09Jenny, what have you brought in?
02:11I have brought in the Plan B pill.
02:18Because if you have one, then you know, it like saves you, right?
02:22But then if you have multiple, then it is a little bit worse.
02:26And it's called the Plan B pill, not Plan B to Z.
02:31When you said saves you, you meant saves you from the blessing of having children.
02:39It didn't sound right, did it?
02:44So, not more than once?
02:46No, not more than once.
02:47And also, my dad is in the crowd tonight, so if he asks...
02:53So it was a hypothetical, wasn't it?
02:55Exactly.
02:56I don't know what that is at all.
02:57I've never taken one in my life.
02:59Okay, Will.
03:00I'm happy with this.
03:01The more you have, the worse it gets.
03:03The nose.
03:04It's great to have one nose.
03:09You have two noses, suddenly they start getting closer to smellier places,
03:13but I thought you probably couldn't imagine what it would be like
03:15if someone had a lot of noses, so I just thought I'd bring this in.
03:24So you use medical marijuana for your pain, yeah?
03:27Yes.
03:28This more than one nose, it sounds like stoner talk to me.
03:32Oh, man.
03:33Imagine having more than one nose.
03:36Well, it certainly wouldn't be cocaine talk, because no one would want...
03:44Right, Lloyd, what have you got?
03:45I chose a human skull.
03:51It's absolutely fine to have one skull...
03:54..on, like, the mantelpiece or something in your house.
03:57It would be, like, a curiosity, but the more you have...
04:01..the more you're getting into, like, serial killer territory.
04:05If, for example, you went,
04:06do you want to come down to my basement and see all my skulls?
04:10I would be like, no, I'm going.
04:13What did you bring in, Anne?
04:14I brought in a strongbow.
04:19The first time I got drunk,
04:21I snuck out of my parents' house through the window, went to a park,
04:24and I drank eight strongbows.
04:28Then I came home,
04:29and I was just vomiting out of the open window all night.
04:33I saw the face of God.
04:36And he loves strongbow.
04:39But it's disgusting.
04:41OK, Josh, what did you bring in?
04:43Buttholes.
04:51Is that...? What's that supposed to be?
04:53It's a butthole.
04:55A butthole? Or your...? Was it you?
04:59It doesn't matter who it is.
05:02It's kind of like the nose in many ways,
05:05but I didn't do a, like, a photo composition of him
05:10with heaps and heaps of buttholes.
05:12And thank you for that. Yeah.
05:15All right, well, I should allocate some points.
05:17Well, I'm thinking Will's nose gets one point
05:19because it's stoner talk.
05:20What are you talking about?
05:22That is, like, my best prize of the whole season.
05:25For no one!
05:27Yeah, one.
05:28Josh is going to get two points for his butthole.
05:30Three points to Lloyd for the skull,
05:32because it creeped me out a bit.
05:33And four points for the cider,
05:35because I agree, one cider's enough.
05:36Even half.
05:37But Bland B, pal.
05:38I mean, you don't want one more of those.
05:40Five points to Jenny.
05:41OK.
05:45All right, I've said it before and I'll say it again.
05:47That's enough cider and buttholes for one night.
05:49Let's get into the good stuff, Tom.
05:51Sure thing.
05:52It's time for our contestants to pull their socks up
05:54to pull them down.
06:08Hi, Jenny.
06:09Hey, Tom.
06:10Kareem.
06:11Hi, Lloyd.
06:12Hello, Tom.
06:13Hi, Will.
06:14What's going on here?
06:15It's just a bunch of socks on the house.
06:17I can see that.
06:25Find the minivan in the sock.
06:30Oh.
06:32Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
06:34You may not enter the house.
06:35Your time starts now.
06:37Oh, flip me.
06:40What?
06:41Find the minivan in the sock.
06:44Well, I'm going to go check out the caravan.
06:47OK.
06:48Yeah.
06:50I don't see any socks.
06:52Is the hook helping?
06:53I mean, I'm not allowed to enter a house
06:55and this is technically a house.
06:57You're allowed to enter.
06:58Oh.
06:59I don't really see anything.
07:01I don't see any socks here.
07:04OK, well.
07:07Oh.
07:09Oh, I see what's happened.
07:17Hello.
07:18Jenny, do you think your father is proud of you?
07:22Well, people often lose a few socks here and there,
07:24but I don't think anyone's lost that many before.
07:27Yeah, but in my mind, a minivan and a caravan
07:30were, like, the same thing and I just thought,
07:33wow, it's probably going to be, like, a really easy, quick find
07:36and I'll go into the caravan to find the caravan
07:39that I was supposed to find, not realising that a caravan
07:42and a minivan are different vehicles, which...
07:45Yes.
07:46Well, if we've got nothing else out of this task,
07:48you've learnt that a caravan and a minivan
07:50are two different things.
07:52Alright, well, who's first?
07:53Two of them have athlete's feet, the other just has tinnier.
07:56It's Jenny, Anne and Lloyd.
07:59The minivan in a sock.
08:01OK.
08:06Oh, look at that!
08:10Can I keep that for my daughter? Yeah.
08:14My daughter would love that. You think? Yeah.
08:16I can't be bothered removing all these socks.
08:19That's just too many.
08:20I'm just trying to figure out inconsistency in pattern.
08:24It's a horse and a trailer.
08:26Can she have that as well? OK.
08:31One of those guys.
08:32Fun. Yeah.
08:34It's an aeroplane.
08:35I'm not even going to ask you anymore.
08:37She's having that.
08:38Hello, Tom.
08:40Who's this?
08:41F*** you.
08:42I wonder if it's the number of stripes at the top,
08:45cos that one has three.
08:46There's one sock that has three stripes on it.
08:50If you could just pick up the giraffe.
08:53I'm having trouble.
08:54I got it, I got it.
08:56Ooh, I hear something inside!
08:59Aw!
09:01That's not a minivan. No.
09:03You really need a lot of upper body strength for this one.
09:06Do you?
09:12Lift your truck leg up.
09:21May I have a look at your socks, please?
09:23What do you mean?
09:24I'm quite pissed off.
09:25I don't like it when I can't solve things.
09:28To be fair to you, I'm in a bit of pain as well.
09:30Oh, are you? Why are you in pain?
09:34Blast it.
09:35What's in there, Tommy Tom Tom Tom Tom?
09:38You're just desperate to get your feet out on television.
09:42Oh, you've double knotted them, you nerd!
09:47Minivan in the saw!
09:51Is that a minivan?
09:52I hope so, I'll never find it, no.
09:56Yay, I found it!
10:00APPLAUSE
10:02OK.
10:03So, Anne and Lloyd, we get it, you've got a daughter.
10:07Yeah, I've just been thinking about how much she plays
10:09with that minivan and where it's been.
10:11Oh, right, so all the toys made it back to your daughter?
10:14Yeah, that's all she's got, just those toys.
10:17Now, Jenny, you said that Lester Tom here was a nerd
10:20because he double knotted his shoelaces.
10:22Yeah.
10:23How brutal were the bullies at your school?
10:25Double knotting's a nerd activity.
10:27It is.
10:28So specific.
10:29Also, it's nerdy if you've tied a double knot
10:31when you know the next thing...
10:32If you know that what's going to happen that day
10:34is that Jenny is going to have to get down and untie your shoes,
10:37tying a double knot, I wouldn't say it's nerdy.
10:39That's full creep mode, man.
10:42You just want to keep her down there as long as you can,
10:45doing feet knots.
10:47I would like to make it very clear
10:49the double knot was not specific to Jenny.
10:52I actually, he had a combination lock on his shoelace.
10:56I was down there for 45 minutes.
10:59Now, Jenny and Lloyd, you both found the sock with three stripes.
11:02Lloyd, did you not think to look for the other one?
11:04Socks come in pairs, so did you not think to...?
11:07I think I was caught up in the giddiness
11:09of getting new toys for Gwen.
11:12I found the sock with the three stripes
11:14and then when there was a car inside the sock,
11:17then I started thinking about
11:19there's got to be another three-striped sock.
11:21So that is what led you to look at my foot?
11:23Yeah, I wasn't just thinking,
11:25oh, I'm never going to be able to solve this task,
11:27I'll just enjoy an erotic moment with your foot.
11:32I started thinking about other socks
11:34and where the minivan could be
11:36and I distinctly remembered that day
11:38I hadn't put a minivan in my own sock.
11:41All right, what are the scores so far?
11:43So Lloyd removed six socks from the house
11:46before discovering the minivan in my sock.
11:48Anne only removed two socks from the house
11:50and was finished in just four minutes and 40 seconds.
11:53Jenny took 38 minutes and 45 seconds
11:56but still only removed two socks from the house,
11:59so tied with Anne.
12:01OK.
12:02Well, we'll do a little ad break
12:04which should be just enough time to check
12:06what your significant other's been hiding
12:08in their sock this whole time.
12:10Hopefully it's a yummy treat just for you.
12:12We'll see you soon.
12:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
12:23Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:25It's the show single-handedly keeping
12:27the long sock grabby stick industry afloat.
12:29What's happening, Tom Cashman?
12:31Our contestants are trying to find a sock with a minivan in it.
12:34There are 155 socks up on the house and one on my foot.
12:37All right, who's up next?
12:39He's about to be socked in the face with having to face some socks.
12:42It's Will Anderson.
12:44Why a minivan, Tom?
12:46Is there, like, a fun play on words there or something that I'm missing?
12:49One of these socks?
12:51Like, there's not another sock somewhere that the minivan is in.
12:54That's the sort of tricky thing that you would do.
12:56I'm just going to check there's not another sock somewhere first.
12:59OK.
13:01Tom, you seem to be limping.
13:03Is there a minivan in your sock?
13:05I couldn't possibly say.
13:07Oh, you know what the problem is?
13:09That's why you're limping, because I believe...
13:11..there is a minivan in your sock.
13:14Sorry to everyone who went to all that fuss,
13:17putting all those socks up there.
13:19This sock was not on the house.
13:21Thanks, Will. Thanks, Tom.
13:29Will, why do you have to suck the joy out of this show?
13:32We're supposed to watch you struggle.
13:34It's OK. There's more sketch comedy to come in this season.
13:37There seems to be more struggles. Don't worry.
13:39Allow me this small victory.
13:41All right, so how many socks was that?
13:44Well, there are 155 socks in total up on the house.
13:47Will took down zero of them.
13:53All right, it always gives me a nice feeling when we've got one left.
13:57No!
13:59And we've already seen someone nail it, so...
14:03..who's last?
14:05His last name is my first name,
14:07and his first name is what he loves to do.
14:09Josh Thomas.
14:11Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
14:13Your time starts now.
14:15Oh. Wait, it's a time task.
14:17I've got to go fast.
14:19That's nothing. That's nothing.
14:21That looks like a minivan.
14:24That's not a minivan's junk.
14:26That's a boat. That's a boat.
14:28That was a boat. OK. It wasn't a van.
14:30You can take a look if you like.
14:34It's a boat. Is it a boat? Oh, my God.
14:37Oh, maybe I'm going to be a genius at this game.
14:40Is that a minivan? No, it's junk.
14:42OK.
14:44Oh, is that a van? No.
14:46What is it? It doesn't matter, does it, really?
14:48There's two categories, isn't there?
14:50Van and failure.
14:52That's not a van. That's not a van.
14:54It's a dumb toy.
14:56I've got to speed up. Why is that?
14:58Because it's a race, isn't it?
15:00Not really. Isn't it the fastest time wins?
15:02All the information you need is in the tot.
15:04Van and the sock. Fewer socks removed.
15:06Oh. It's not a race.
15:08No. Oh, I didn't read...
15:10I've not got good reading comprehension.
15:12So now that I know it's not a race,
15:14there's something about that that's broken my spirit.
15:16We could be here for...
15:18so long, couldn't we?
15:20Just a man with his socks.
15:26I've got a bit of a headache.
15:28You've got a headache? I'm doing this.
15:30How does your soul feel?
15:32Mine's a bit sore.
15:34Yeah.
15:36What I'm going to do is I'm going to pull every sock down.
15:38OK.
15:40Yeah.
15:42You're just pulling all of them?
15:44If this is one of those tasks where it ends
15:46and you hand me another envelope...
15:48You think I've got something hidden on me?
15:50Well, it's always hidden, isn't it?
15:52Oh, f***. What?
15:54There's more socks than you think up there.
15:56Oh.
15:58What kind of socks are you wearing?
16:02They're just white socks.
16:04Right.
16:06I want this to go this way. Oh!
16:08So you've got them all down. That's quite a feat.
16:10Complete opposite of the task.
16:12You literally could not do worse.
16:14This is a mouse.
16:18Would you like a water?
16:20I'd love a water.
16:22We'll get a few waters.
16:24Thank you.
16:28It's better in the shade.
16:38Matches your shirt?
16:40Yeah.
16:42Not all things match, so that's good.
16:44No.
16:46Should I read the task again?
16:48I think if I was completely wrong,
16:50you would have sort of hinted by now.
16:52Can you let me read it?
16:54You think I would have hinted?
16:56I think there's just a van and a sock.
16:58I don't think it's one of those socks.
17:00Pretty clear.
17:02Find the minivan and the sock.
17:06Oh, my God, it's a real sock.
17:10What makes you think that?
17:18You don't want to look in.
17:20No.
17:26No.
17:34I do feel silly, yeah.
17:38How long was it?
17:40One hour and 43 minutes.
17:48Can you just talk us through the moment
17:50where you realised it wasn't a timed task anymore
17:52and that it was the least number of socks,
17:54but then after that you clearly decided
17:56to pull down every sock?
17:58I realised that I had pulled down
18:00so many socks that I've definitely lost,
18:02but that I needed to complete the task
18:04to get my one point.
18:08I am aware about what you're...
18:10I do know what you're about to say.
18:12What am I about to say?
18:14I then didn't complete the task.
18:18I know, usually I'm very harsh with my rulings,
18:20but in this really difficult decision
18:22as to whether to give you
18:24zero or one,
18:28I'm going to be slightly lenient this time
18:30and give you one.
18:32You deserve it.
18:34I will give you one.
18:36So what are the scores for the task, Lesser Tom?
18:38That means Josh gets one point,
18:40Lloyd has two,
18:42Anne and Jenny both on four,
18:44and Will wins the task with five points.
18:48I think it's time for some episode scores.
18:50It's a good thing her dad's here.
18:52Jenny's in the lead with nine points.
18:54Yes!
18:56OK, what's up next?
18:58At the end of a sentence, you usually see a full stop.
19:00At the end of this one, it's time for a full slop.
19:14Hello.
19:16Hi, Jenny.
19:18Hey, boy.
19:20I'm here.
19:22Hi, Josh.
19:24Is that like a siren?
19:26Red light district.
19:28Go full slop mode.
19:30Go full slop mode.
19:32What does slop mode mean?
19:34Fullest slop mode wins.
19:36You have 20 minutes.
19:38Your time starts now.
19:40I don't know what slop mode is.
19:42Would you like me to look up full slop mode?
19:44Could you please?
19:46See you later. I'll see you back here soon.
19:48See you soon.
19:52OK, so we're looking not for slop mode.
19:54No. We want full slop mode.
19:56OK, but we don't really know what it is.
19:58No, I looked it up. Couldn't find anything.
20:00OK, who's first?
20:02Going full slop mode for the first time anywhere on planet Earth.
20:04Here's Will Anderson.
20:08Tom, activate full slop mode.
20:16Full slop mode.
20:36Full slop mode goes for a while.
20:38Oh, something went up my nose!
20:40Ah!
20:44Is that the end of full slop mode?
20:48Might be the end of my career, Tom.
20:50Thanks, Will.
20:54Will, there was a little moment there
20:56early on that I really enjoyed
20:58where you literally lent into that task.
21:00I don't think it's full slop mode
21:02if the slop finds you. You've got to find the slop.
21:04I bloody loved it.
21:06I'm just worried about you, though.
21:08What? I don't know.
21:10What about now? This is good stuff!
21:12But you're a TV host.
21:14You probably turned down this gig
21:16and you're over there getting slop on your phone.
21:18Yes!
21:20How much money do you need me to lend you?
21:22I'm just saying, I would prefer that
21:24than watch you on this show anymore.
21:26I can't handle it anymore.
21:30Just a figure.
21:32I mean, that felt a bit real.
21:34I feel like we...
21:36I mean...
21:38It's all fun and games. I know we're having a good time
21:40but that crossed the line a little bit.
21:42Alright, sloppy seconds.
21:44Thirds, fourths and fifths to come.
21:46But first, a break over which Will's going
21:48to tell us about all the other times
21:50something went up his nose
21:52on a TV set. Back soon.
21:54APPLAUSE
22:04Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:06We've been going full slot mode.
22:08Don't know what that is?
22:10Well, neither do we.
22:12Can you explain it better than that, Tom?
22:14Unfortunately not. It is what it is.
22:16We've seen Will's full slot mode.
22:18Now it's time for another one.
22:20Alright, who's next?
22:22Second time anywhere ever, it's Jenny Tian.
22:26Hi, I'm Jenny. Summer's coming
22:28so I'm here to remind you about sun safety.
22:30Remember to slip on a t-shirt,
22:32slop on some sunscreen
22:34and slap on a hat.
22:36That's slip, slop
22:40and slap. One more time.
22:42Slip, slop
22:46and slap.
22:48Slip.
22:50Slop.
22:54And slap.
22:56Slip.
23:08And slap.
23:10APPLAUSE
23:16That was bloody great, Jenny.
23:18I got fair skin, I could relate to it.
23:20That was fantastic.
23:22I can't believe we both claimed ourselves
23:24as this task.
23:28I think it was great.
23:30It was such an effective ad. I reckon we could just use that
23:32as an ad from now on for the slip, slop, slap campaign.
23:34You know what, it's so weird
23:36when you're being nice that I genuinely
23:38don't know how to react.
23:40I know, it's fun, isn't it?
23:42Yeah.
23:44Well, who's next?
23:46For the third and hopefully last time
23:48Anywhere Ever, it's Lloyd, Josh and Ann.
23:50Right, I'm wondering
23:52whether we can go full slops.
23:54As in, you know, like
23:56full slops, man.
23:58Did you just make this up? Yeah, I made it up.
24:00One option is sort of like
24:02to just be lazy.
24:04Like I really don't want to do what this task
24:06is pushing me towards.
24:08You'll get me a beer, yeah?
24:10OK, can I have one too? I don't care.
24:12It's late.
24:16Oh!
24:18Fully slops there.
24:20I'll slop around in the water
24:22pretending to be a pig. OK.
24:24And then you come over with the slops.
24:26What's my character?
24:28Just do like a sort of borderline offensive
24:30but not racist country bumpkin voice.
24:32I'm not exactly sure where the lines are
24:34if I'm honest. OK.
24:36I've got you a beer.
24:40You're just relaxing?
24:42I'm not doing any of your questions, I'm not doing any
24:44of your show things. OK.
24:46This is full slops today out here.
24:48Gnarly, dude.
24:50Fully slops, man.
25:04I don't think they have to hold the cameras out
25:06the whole time. Get down.
25:08It's not worth it.
25:10Slops are so full today.
25:12Wow.
25:14Oh, I'm in the ocean.
25:16Oh, me hearty.
25:18It's time to feed me pig.
25:30I can't wait to watch them cut this in
25:32with other people doing stuff.
25:38Fully slops, man.
25:42I think that's the worst task so far by a country male.
25:48Is it possible you've mixed up the words
25:50slop and slob?
25:52What?
25:54Nothing.
26:00I feel like we've got yet another
26:02insight into Anne and Lloyd's home life.
26:04So fully slops?
26:06Yeah, it was totally fully slops and I just
26:08I rode that sloppy wave
26:10and I just really
26:12leant into it, man. I owned it.
26:14And then Lloyd, you were worried
26:16the TV show was forcing you into doing
26:18that
26:20into doing that task
26:22which could be interpreted in any way at all.
26:24Easily
26:26my least favourite task of the entire
26:28series. That you designated
26:30to yourself.
26:34OK.
26:36Now, Josh, you've worked drinking beer
26:38into a task again.
26:40I'm worried that you may have
26:42did you mix up slops
26:44with slob? No, no, no.
26:46I was trying to do a sloppy performance because I felt like
26:48the task is asking us to go full slop
26:50mode. So it's asking for a lot.
26:52So I thought that what would be slop is
26:54to just do nothing. But that felt like
26:56full slob mode. That's not what I
26:58that's not how I meant it. That's how it came across.
27:00OK.
27:04One of the things that's happened over the season
27:06is I've got so few points and I'm doing so
27:08badly that I don't
27:10have it in me to fight for points anymore
27:12because they're meaningless.
27:14So I just score it how you will,
27:16gay daddy.
27:24Alright, I should allocate some points. Yes.
27:26Pretty easy. Josh, one. OK.
27:28Two points to Will.
27:30Just because I'm worried about his career.
27:32Three points
27:34to Ann because, I mean, that's pretty
27:36sloppy. Yep. Full slops.
27:38Four points to Lloyd because
27:40it left a bad taste in my mouth and his.
27:42Jenny gets five points. Obviously it was
27:44a great ad for Slip Slop Slap.
27:46She definitely went full slop mode. From now on
27:48kids all around Australia, before they go to the beach
27:50will go, Mum, Dad, can I please go full
27:52slop mode?
27:54I think you've really started something. Five points to Jenny.
27:56Yay!
27:58Alright, you lazy
28:00drunkard. Give me another task.
28:02I like my tasks how I like my
28:04coffee. Strong. Or weak.
28:06It's up to you really.
28:20Good morning.
28:22Hi Ann. Hi. How are you going? I'm OK.
28:24That's good. You got mail.
28:26Ooh. Oh, I've never had
28:28mail before. You've never had mail? My first
28:30mail.
28:32That's yucky.
28:34Ooh.
28:36Oh, that's disgusting. Spinach,
28:38is it? Yep. OK.
28:40Oh, half.
28:42Oh.
28:44Make
28:46yourself look extremely strong
28:48or extremely weak. Most
28:50extreme, show of
28:52strength. All weakness wins.
28:54You have 20 minutes and your time
28:56starts now.
28:58Ah! Oh.
29:00That didn't work. What strengths
29:02do you have? I'm a white, straight man.
29:04That used to be enough. I feel
29:06like my natural
29:08demeanour is weakness,
29:10so I'm gonna try be strong.
29:12Quite a weak person. I think
29:14stronger. I'm going to go
29:16for strength.
29:18Strength. An extreme show of strength.
29:20And then maybe we have like a fist fight.
29:22Oh. Mano e mano.
29:24Am I one of the manos?
29:26I reckon.
29:30So, four of them went with strength.
29:32And Josh yet to decide. Yeah.
29:34Alright, which strong man or woman are we seeing first?
29:36Does she even lift my
29:38spirits when she enters a room? Most definitely.
29:40It's Jenny Tian.
29:42Welcome to the universe's
29:44strongest heavyweight championship
29:46of strong physical
29:48strength, where I have
29:50been crowned the champion of
29:52the universe by all of the judges
29:54from the universe.
29:56And I have won, unlike these losers,
29:58Rubber Duck and
30:00Paddle Pop Sleeping Bear
30:02because they are weak and I am strong
30:04as you can see with my
30:06muscles here and also my
30:08strong moustache and really
30:10strong, strong
30:12outfit. And to prove
30:14my feat of strength, I'm really going to
30:16get ready for this
30:18one and show you guys how physically
30:20strong I am.
30:22I will lift this hammer with
30:24one hand.
30:28Wow, light as a feather.
30:30Oh my god!
30:32So light.
30:34I am really strong.
30:38Wow.
30:40No effort at all.
30:46Yeah, your last line
30:48there was, wow, no effort at all.
30:50And I feel like we could all see that.
30:54I was just thinking like
30:56the Olympics, like the OG
30:58Olympics, like Greek, you know,
31:00where they're like really, really strong. And then
31:02also the outfit as well would
31:04make me look like that stereotypical
31:06Greek
31:08strength. I'm still just reflecting on you
31:10calling the ancient Olympic Games the OG
31:12Olympics.
31:14Olden Greek.
31:17Fair enough.
31:19Can I just say, Tom, I don't like
31:21complimenting you, but
31:23that hammer
31:25is so heavy. That thing you
31:27were lifting up, it was cool, man.
31:29I hate to ruin my own compliment here,
31:31but it weighs 6.76
31:33kilograms.
31:38Okay, that's another part of the showdown.
31:40Deep breaths, come on, push, push.
31:42I can see its head.
31:44Oh, it's hideous. It's another ad break.
31:46See you soon.
31:56Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five
31:58comedians are battling for the right
32:00to own Josh Thomas' butthole.
32:02Sometimes I just have to say it as it is.
32:04Inform us of where we are,
32:06please. Our contestants are trying to look
32:08extremely strong or extremely weak.
32:10So far, Jenny has lifted a big hammer
32:12with absolutely no help at all.
32:14Up next, attempting
32:16feet of strength and also strength throughout
32:18the rest of their bodies, it's Will and Anne.
32:20Why don't I
32:22try and
32:24pull something like a
32:26horse? Pull a horse?
32:28No, like a horse. As in you
32:30or the horse? Yeah. Alright, Tom, this is
32:32the ultimate show of strength. Okay.
32:34I'm going to single-handedly with
32:36these two ropes, so double-handedly,
32:38pull this van that is behind me.
32:40But the thing that's going to make it even trickier
32:42as a feet of strength is, you are going to be
32:44tempting me with an array of things
32:46so I have to actually show
32:48strength to turn them down as well.
32:50Okay, could I interest you in a lolly?
32:52No! Okay.
32:54Aaaaaah!
32:56Aaaaaah!
32:58Aaaaaah! Tempt me
33:00again! Tempt me harder! Could I interest you in
33:02a vegan sausage? Ah, no!
33:04You cannot interest me in a vegan sausage!
33:06I am too strong for a
33:08vegan sausage!
33:12Alright, yell out my strengths. Okay.
33:14How are you at scrambling eggs?
33:16I'm the best! When do you pay the
33:18mortgage? Most of the time on time.
33:20I've had two slip-ups around Christmas.
33:22And how are you at making muffins
33:24with your daughter? I'm the best!
33:26And that's it? That's it.
33:28Tempt me again! Could I interest you in
33:30keys to a 1965 Ford Mustang?
33:32I am more interested, but I am
33:34showing my strength!
33:36Aaaaaah!
33:38Will, look around you.
33:40Oh, wow. I did it.
33:42Those are all the strengths.
33:44Oh. Oh.
33:46That's it. I've had it.
33:48You're on your own, buddy. Okay.
33:50Have a good day. See ya. Man,
33:52I actually did not think I was going to be able to do that.
33:54Thank you.
33:56Thanks, Will.
33:58Grrrr!
34:00Grrrr!
34:02Applause
34:04Okay, now
34:06Will, is resisting a vegan sausage
34:08a sign of strength?
34:10I've managed to do it for my entire
34:12life without
34:14even thinking about it. I mean, to be
34:16fair, it also wasn't a vegan sausage.
34:18It was made out of plasticine, I believe.
34:20So you double-stacked it
34:22there. You were strong because you were pulling the van
34:24and also because you were resisting treats
34:26that you quite enjoy eating. The weird thing is
34:28I was really sore the next day.
34:30Despite the fact that you might have
34:32seen I had a little assistance at the end, but
34:34the idea was to look
34:36extremely strong. Right.
34:38Whereas Anne, you...
34:40Laughter
34:44Neigh!
34:46Well, you got no help. You actually
34:48did the work yourself. I pulled
34:50this guy and how much...
34:52Laughter
34:54Yeah!
34:56Applause
34:58Yes,
35:00I pulled Tom Cashman and you weigh
35:02how much, Tom Cashman? 80 kilograms.
35:04I pulled 80 kilograms.
35:06Applause
35:08I would say 80 kilograms are relatively
35:10impressive for a human woman.
35:12Not very impressive for a horse.
35:14But also, I think your horse suit was a
35:16cow suit, wasn't it?
35:18I mean, yes. I think that's how it was
35:20originally designed. I don't want to bring up the
35:22patriarchy as well.
35:24But I was...
35:26I'm a woman. Who you've just called
35:28a cow.
35:30And yet I
35:32pulled you
35:34like I've pulled every man
35:36in this industry!
35:38Behind me!
35:40Move!
35:42All right.
35:44Take us to the next gun show, please.
35:46You are the weakest link. Hello.
35:48It's Josh Thomas.
35:50Extremely weak would be like you
35:52say something mean to me and then
35:54I crumble.
35:56What do weak people do when they're attacked?
35:58They attack back. I suppose.
36:00They get defensive. So if you did something
36:02slightly mean to me and then I came back
36:04and I did something extremely
36:06terrible to you, that would be
36:08quite weak, I think. Okay.
36:10G'day, Josh. Oh, hey.
36:12Hey, honey. How are you doing?
36:14No! How are you doing?
36:16Back off!
36:18Laughter
36:20Laughter
36:22What happened?
36:24What? No, no.
36:26Stay in the scene.
36:28Stay in the scene. You've broken the scene.
36:30Why did you do that?
36:32I don't know why.
36:34I don't know.
36:36Laughter
36:40Oh, no.
36:42I don't know
36:44why I did that. I'm sorry.
36:46I'm very weak
36:48and I had a very difficult
36:50childhood.
36:52Why?
36:54They were late to pick me up from preschool
36:56and I never got a horse. That doesn't justify this.
36:58No, but...
37:00I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
37:02I'm sorry. Please.
37:04I'm going through a lot. I think I might be gay.
37:06Laughter
37:08Applause
37:10Applause
37:12I feel like you're sending
37:14a confused message.
37:16What I saw was a very strong gay
37:18man
37:20asserting himself.
37:22Yeah. Sometimes
37:24the greatest strength can come out of
37:26weak moments and I
37:28came out and that's my strong
37:30moment and that was my entry.
37:32I was being really strong and I was coming out
37:34which you
37:36are about to do.
37:38Laughter
37:40As we know
37:42from people who've watched previous episodes,
37:44I'm gay.
37:46Laughter
37:48You happy?
37:50I cheered you up, didn't I?
37:52So we're going to accept that as a show of extreme strength.
37:54Coming out. Okay, I reckon.
37:56Oh God!
37:58Alright, give us our
38:00final grower, shower or knower, please.
38:02Let's hope this show is the only
38:04thing he's done weekly. It's Lloyd Langford.
38:06What I'm thinking is
38:08we could have a fight
38:10but I'll win.
38:12I feel like there needs to be some sort of narrative
38:14to it, right? Okay.
38:16I'm having a night out with my zebra
38:18and you're staring.
38:20At the zebra? Yeah.
38:22In a sort of lustful...
38:24Oh, I was hoping you were going to say appropriate.
38:26No, you're like coveting the zebra.
38:28So if I've wronged you
38:30in regards to this kind of animal,
38:32would you call it a zebra crossing?
38:34Laughter
38:36Yeah, that's not bad actually.
38:38Laughter
38:40Hey, excuse me mate.
38:42Hey, hey.
38:44Can you stop looking at my zebra?
38:46I'll look at whatever zebra I want.
38:48It's a free country. I don't see any laws about
38:50not looking at a zebra, even if it's your zebra.
38:52We're just trying to have a quiet night
38:54out here together. Okay.
38:56And you've been disrupted by your
38:58perverted glances.
39:00Move away from the zebra. I refuse
39:02to move away from the zebra. Right, well
39:04I'm going to move you away then. Oh really?
39:06I'm a strong man. I'm not a violent
39:08person. You've pushed me beyond my limits.
39:10Stop staring at my zebra!
39:12If you stare at my zebra once more, I'm going to give you
39:14the slap of a lifetime. Right, I've had
39:16enough now.
39:18Music
39:20Music
39:22Music
39:24Come on love, let's go home.
39:26I've had enough of this.
39:28Music
39:30Music
39:32Music
39:34Music
39:36So, you beat up Tom
39:38Cashman. Is that a sign
39:40of
39:42extreme strength?
39:44Well, Lloyd punched me 17 metres.
39:46Which, I looked it up
39:48like how hard you'd have to hit something
39:50and it's physically impossible. Initially,
39:52I wanted to do lots of different
39:54tests of strength. You know like they do
39:56in Scandinavian countries
39:58where they have the wife carrying championships?
40:02I forgot about this.
40:04I carried Tom
40:06back and forth across
40:08the paddock several times.
40:10On one of
40:12the occasions, he farted on me.
40:16He did a full
40:18fart on me. You had
40:20my stomach here.
40:22We'd just had lunch.
40:24Alright, well
40:26I guess I should hand out some scores. Yes, please.
40:28I'm going to give one point to Will because
40:30he was only pretending. What? That was the
40:32whole point of the game was to pretend.
40:34You've got to be showing extreme strength.
40:36Extreme strength? I pulled
40:38a minivan. You avoided a vegan
40:40sausage.
40:42I didn't mention this earlier, but in actual
40:44kind of strongman contests,
40:46they drag trucks 20 times
40:48the weight of that van. You know what?
40:50I just thought it'd be a bit of fun to have a little
40:52argument. I don't need your follow up.
40:54Oh, OK.
40:56LAUGHTER
40:58APPLAUSE
41:00LAUGHTER
41:02LAUGHTER
41:04Alright, so I'm going to go for
41:06two points to Lloyd because you beat up
41:08someone and that was impressive, but it was only Tom
41:10Cashman, which was easy to do.
41:12Three points to Jenny because
41:14I could tell that it wasn't her
41:16really lifting the van.
41:18Four points to Anne because you
41:20actually showed genuine strength. I did.
41:22As you pointed out, you've been pulling
41:24in the industry
41:26for years.
41:28LAUGHTER
41:30And it's a lot. It is a lot. It's a lot
41:32to take on and I'm sick of it.
41:34LAUGHTER
41:36I've got sore wrists and I want to host my own TV show.
41:38LAUGHTER
41:40APPLAUSE
41:42LAUGHTER
41:44But it takes a lot of strength to come out.
41:46You'd know, yeah.
41:48LAUGHTER
41:50Five points to Josh.
41:52APPLAUSE
41:56It's time for another ad break.
41:58You can block your ears and shut your eyes,
42:00but what if you miss the part where we come back?
42:02Don't even risk it. Back with our final
42:04task of the show soon.
42:06APPLAUSE
42:08MUSIC
42:10MUSIC
42:12APPLAUSE
42:14Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
42:16Someone here is getting ready
42:18to sink a strongbow,
42:20poke a new nose on their new skull,
42:22sniff a butt and pop a plan B pill.
42:24Goodie.
42:26Lesser Tom, catch us up on who's winning
42:28the episode so far. Well, looks like this one
42:30is between Jenny and Anne, but Jenny has
42:32a two-point lead on 17 points.
42:34APPLAUSE
42:36Alright, up to the stage for our
42:38live task.
42:40APPLAUSE
42:42MUSIC
42:44Alright, Lesser Tom, what's going on here? Are we teaching
42:46Jenny how to read a clock with hands?
42:48Or she'll read first.
42:52Perform a 30-second
42:54scene that communicates to the
42:56Taskmaster what time the clock says.
42:58You may only say one
43:00word per team member, and that
43:02word cannot be morning,
43:04day, afternoon, night,
43:06sunrise, sunset, dawn,
43:08dusk, breakfast, brunch, lunch,
43:10dinner, quarter, half,
43:121, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
43:148, 9, 10, 11, 12.
43:16Each team will get three
43:18randomly selected times and
43:20three scenes. Closest times
43:22guessed by the Taskmaster to the
43:24actual times wins. Wow, that was
43:26so clear.
43:28APPLAUSE
43:30They get three words? And where are us?
43:32Good question.
43:34One person on your team
43:36can say two words each scene.
43:38Well, that'll be Josh.
43:40LAUGHTER
43:42We're a team.
43:44Taskmaster is averting
43:46his eyes.
43:48MUSIC
43:50MUSIC
43:52MUSIC
43:54MUSIC
43:56MUSIC
43:58MUSIC
44:00MUSIC
44:02MUSIC
44:04MUSIC
44:06MUSIC
44:08MUSIC
44:10MUSIC
44:12MUSIC
44:14MUSIC
44:16MUSIC
44:18MUSIC
44:20MUSIC
44:22MUSIC
44:24MUSIC
44:26MUSIC
44:28MUSIC
44:30MUSIC
44:32MUSIC
44:34MUSIC
44:36MUSIC
44:38MUSIC
44:40MUSIC
44:42MUSIC
44:44MUSIC
44:46MUSIC
44:48MUSIC
44:50MUSIC
44:52MUSIC
44:54MUSIC
44:56MUSIC
44:58MUSIC
45:00MUSIC
45:02MUSIC
45:04MUSIC
45:06MUSIC
45:08APPLAUSE
45:10The Wiggles
45:12get the maximum time
45:14due to a violation of the rules.
45:16MUSIC
45:18MUSIC
45:20missed
45:22MISSED
45:24MISSED
45:26MISSED
45:28MISSED
45:30MISSED
45:32MISSED
45:34MISSED
45:36I'm guessing it's the exact same time, so I'm going to guess 2.45 p.m.
45:49Happy New Year!
45:5712 a.m.
46:00Is this our last one?
46:01Yeah.
46:07Bell!
46:08Mummy's here!
46:16I'm guessing it's not the exact same time.
46:18I'm going to go with 3.30 p.m.
46:25Alright, I don't need any more bad improv to tell me what time it is.
46:28I know what time it is. It's time for a break. See you soon.
46:37Welcome back to Taskmaster, where I've just spent the last five minutes guessing what the time was.
46:44Alright, so what are the scores for the live task?
46:46Well, we're scoring this one by how many minutes our teams were away from the actual time that they had to depict.
46:51The Discount Wiggles were 724 minutes away.
46:58The Hoolie Doolies, over the course of three rounds, only 18 minutes away.
47:07So I guess it's up to you how to score them.
47:09Well, that's pretty easy. I think it's 5-5, 1-1-1.
47:16Alright, what does that do to the overall scores for the episode?
47:19Well, it's been a huge episode for Jenny Tian, but Anne Edmonds gets her first win in the season with 20 points!
47:28Congratulations, Anne! Go claim your five things that are great to have one of, but progressively worse when multiplied.
47:35Go and enjoy!
47:40And how's the season going, Lesser Tom?
47:43Well, Jenny and Josh, they're scrapping it out with 93 each.
47:46Will's in the middle, Anne has skyrocketed into second place, but Lloyd is out in front with 113 points.
47:55That's episode seven done, dusted and in the cupboard.
47:59But what have we learnt?
48:00Well, we all learnt that despite the subtle encouragement, full slot mode will never catch on.
48:07Josh learnt that despite my harsh exterior, sometimes I will give one instead of zero.
48:13And Anne learnt that despite common sense in this one case, giving a bloke a pull has gotten her to the top.
48:20Betty Happy returns to her, she's our winner.
48:23Let's do this all again next week. See ya!
48:31No, I don't want this to go on TV.
48:36This might have been a futile request from me.
48:38Wow.
48:40Thanks for being such a good friend, you little dickhead.
48:43I think you showed a different side of you, you were funny.