Tell Them You Love Me 2023
Transcript
00:00:00The following program contains adult themes and scenes which some viewers may find distressing.
00:00:30In the beginning when I was first convicted, I felt like Alice in Wonderland, down the
00:00:47rabbit hole in this strange place that doesn't follow any rules that I'm used to or anything
00:00:52like that.
00:00:55When I came out, I remember I went to my hairstylist and I just gave a big sigh and I said, okay,
00:01:06you're going to be my first experience with experimenting with how much I say or don't
00:01:12say about where I've been the past couple of years and where I've been as I was in prison.
00:01:27My inclination, here I am sitting here doing this, is I don't mind people knowing because
00:01:36I'm not guilty of a crime, so.
00:02:36We are in the Special Victims Unit of the Essex County Prosecutor's Office, also home
00:03:02of the Child Advocacy Center.
00:03:04We're here today because there was an innocent that was reported to the Rutgers Police Department
00:03:12regarding your son, Derrick.
00:03:14Yes.
00:03:15Does Derrick have any mental or physical impairments that he would need help?
00:03:21Yes.
00:03:22He doesn't have the faculties to make decisions on his own?
00:03:25No.
00:03:26Now, did you reach that conclusion on your own or did someone evaluate him at some point?
00:03:34From birth, I knew there was something wrong.
00:03:42Derrick, let's go.
00:03:48Are you ready to get up?
00:03:57Good morning.
00:04:00Come on.
00:04:02Come on.
00:04:06I remember when they brought Derrick home from the hospital and I was just disappointed.
00:04:12I was like, I got a baby brother?
00:04:13I wanted a little sister.
00:04:17And then when they brought him in the house and I saw him, it was like an instant connection.
00:04:22Everything was fine.
00:04:24Nothing out of the ordinary.
00:04:27I just remember that at a certain point he became very listless.
00:04:30He didn't move much.
00:04:37He wouldn't wake up.
00:04:38You know, he slept all the time.
00:04:42He wasn't doing what he was supposed to.
00:04:44Like, he wasn't sucking.
00:04:45He wasn't holding his bottle.
00:04:48And he couldn't hold his head.
00:04:51I would ask the doctor, well, what's wrong with Derrick?
00:04:53I would ask the doctor, well, what's wrong with Derrick?
00:04:55And he said, oh, you're comparing him to your oldest son.
00:04:58He'll be all right.
00:05:00And I says, no, something's not right.
00:05:09Early on, Derrick had a series of seizures.
00:05:16So then they took Derrick, they put him in a sound room.
00:05:20And they would do the lights for his eyes to follow.
00:05:24And he just wouldn't react.
00:05:27Or couldn't.
00:05:29And that's when they told me that he had cerebral palsy.
00:05:33And he would never, you know, be able to do as normal children would do.
00:05:45Derrick visited a few psychologists.
00:05:47And they deemed him, as the term they used, mentally retarded.
00:05:50Nonverbal, with cerebral palsy.
00:05:54You know, then not knowing what the heck that meant.
00:05:56It just meant that Derrick can't walk, Derrick can't talk.
00:05:59Yes.
00:06:00It's all gone.
00:06:07It's all gone.
00:06:08You're done.
00:06:10You're done.
00:06:12Mm-hmm.
00:06:13Okay.
00:06:15I raised my two sons alone.
00:06:19Their father, after Derrick was born, he took the high road.
00:06:23He walked.
00:06:25And left you guys alone?
00:06:26And left us alone.
00:06:29Take your hands off the ears.
00:06:30What you want?
00:06:31What's the problem?
00:06:33Huh?
00:06:35So let me ask you some questions.
00:06:36Derrick is nonverbal, is that the term?
00:06:39Yes.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41What does that necessarily mean?
00:06:42He talks like if he's hungry, he'll hit the table or wall or whatever and say, eat, eat.
00:06:50If he gets really excitable, then maybe he will mumble the word ma or ja.
00:07:00Okay.
00:07:01But he more or less communicates with his eyes or his hands.
00:07:07You know the routine?
00:07:10One finger?
00:07:11Mm-hmm.
00:07:12What's that?
00:07:13Are you signing me?
00:07:15Hmm?
00:07:30Eventually the seizures started to subside, but what his cognitive level was, I didn't
00:07:36have a way of assessing that.
00:07:39I know that he was listless for a point in time and then all of a sudden there was an
00:07:42awakening of sorts.
00:07:44Where he was in the world.
00:07:52Whenever we would lock eyes, like there was recognition there.
00:07:56I just began to see Derrick, you know, develop his own personality and kind of come into
00:08:01his own.
00:08:02Oh, they were inseparable.
00:08:05Derrick would come home after school.
00:08:07John would run home, meet Derrick Buss, get Derrick in the house, call me.
00:08:13My would be in the house.
00:08:15At a certain point, I just threw him on my back.
00:08:17Play together, get into mischief together.
00:08:19You know, wherever I go, Derrick has to go.
00:08:27Derrick's a character, you know, he loves to give hugs.
00:08:31He just loves to smile a lot.
00:08:33You know, you know when he's happy.
00:08:36He used to do, we called it the Stevie Wonder dance.
00:08:39You know, when Stevie Wonder's playing on the piano and really feeling the music, his
00:08:42head would sway side to side.
00:08:44And so Derrick would do that from time to time too, especially in church when he's like
00:08:48really feeling the music.
00:08:56Sometimes he's self-abusive.
00:08:59We can be somewhere and then all of a sudden, ah, I put his hand in his mouth and start
00:09:03banging his head and his knee.
00:09:05And I don't know why.
00:09:06Maybe he's frustrated, but he can't communicate.
00:09:11So what is going on in your head, Derrick?
00:09:13Like I really, to me, that was the great mystery.
00:09:28Cameras rolling.
00:09:29Okay.
00:09:30Everything's fine.
00:09:33Tell me the story of how you met.
00:09:39I'm pretty sure, or at least I'm hopeful, that I haven't been rewriting things in my
00:09:47head.
00:09:49I'm pretty sure, or at least I'm hopeful, that I haven't been rewriting things in my
00:09:57head.
00:09:58I don't, didn't want to do that.
00:10:01I, you know, I see how easily it can happen.
00:10:04Our next speaker is Anna Stubbefeld, the director of the philosophy department at Rutgers.
00:10:10Thanks, David.
00:10:11How's this one?
00:10:14Ah, that's better.
00:10:16Okay.
00:10:17I was teaching in the American Studies doctoral program at Rutgers Newark.
00:10:22Race, class, gender, and sexual orientation.
00:10:25I was teaching in the American Studies doctoral program at Rutgers Newark.
00:10:30Race, class, gender, and sexual orientation and disability are inextricably intertwined
00:10:37such that none, such that none of these concepts would exist as it does without the others.
00:10:43And John was one of my students.
00:10:48When I was doing my PhD at Rutgers, Anna Stubbefeld was a philosopher of race and also had a class
00:10:58about disability studies.
00:11:00Alongside theorizing about disability and ethics, I also provide support to people labeled
00:11:06with developmental disabilities.
00:11:08I work with people who cannot communicate vocally to provide them with access to alternative
00:11:14forms of verbal expression and to literacy.
00:11:17You know, while I grew up with a disabled brother, I was not familiar with disability
00:11:21studies, and I think as an instructor, she was great.
00:11:24And as a scholar, she was great as well.
00:11:28The course was looking at the notion of intelligence as a concept.
00:11:37For example, the notion that if somebody can't speak, it must be because they're too stupid
00:11:43and there's just nothing in their head.
00:11:45That just is not the case.
00:11:48It's not the case.
00:11:50Lacking speech doesn't mean that you don't have anything to say.
00:11:54It doesn't mean that you can't use language if somebody can just get you access to a way
00:11:58to do it.
00:12:01Can you describe what your world was like before you were able to communicate?
00:12:10Can you describe that for me?
00:12:16Somewhere along the course, we ended up watching his video.
00:12:20The person who was in the video had autism.
00:12:28Sue Rubin, she's somebody who's perceived by her parents and everybody as severely intellectually
00:12:35impaired and just not there.
00:12:40But then she's given access to a way to communicate.
00:12:44When I was 13, my mother said that she had seen someone start to communicate using a
00:12:49keyboard and support.
00:12:52It's called facilitated communication.
00:12:55As I began to type, my mind began to wake up.
00:13:01The person who was in the video used a keyboard and eventually became proficient enough to
00:13:06communicate the complexities of her life.
00:13:09She was able to do college level work and she graduated with a dual major, etc., etc.
00:13:14And this was her story.
00:13:17I think I was lost, W-A, in some way.
00:13:23I acted like my worst nightmare, Y-E-S.
00:13:32At that time, I had never heard anything about this facilitated communication.
00:13:37After that class, John, he said, this woman in this film reminds me a lot of my brother.
00:13:45How she moves, how she looks.
00:13:47And then I see her typing and she's going to college.
00:13:50And we've always been told that my brother, you know, basically he should be institutionalized.
00:13:55But we've always felt that maybe there was something more going on there.
00:14:00We recognized that Derek had a disability.
00:14:02But we never thought that he was incapable of doing any number of things.
00:14:08I always knew that there was something there.
00:14:12Like right on cue, at certain points, Derek would say, you know, Derek was paying attention.
00:14:17Derek wanted to weigh in on this discussion.
00:14:21When we would go to get haircuts, I would sit there and read.
00:14:23I would sit there and read.
00:14:25And Derek would be sitting next to me.
00:14:26And so every so often, Derek would look over my shoulder and look in the newspaper.
00:14:31And was it a mimicking behavior?
00:14:33Maybe.
00:14:35But he has this way of appearing to be absorbing information.
00:14:40And so there were dozens of these kinds of moments through our lifetime.
00:14:45I love my brother to death.
00:14:47And I always want nothing but the best for him.
00:14:52And so I asked her, I'd love to hear more about facilitated communication.
00:14:57Who can I talk to?
00:15:01I told them the nearest place on the East Coast where there's support for facilitated communication.
00:15:07And I told them, you know, if you're going to talk to me, you're going to have to talk to me.
00:15:11I told them the nearest place on the East Coast where there's support for facilitated communication is Syracuse University.
00:15:18But it's going to be too expensive.
00:15:20So I said to John, if you wanted, I could at least just kind of do some initial stuff, kind of see if it's working.
00:15:30She was Ms. Honor.
00:15:43You know, she could do great things.
00:15:45She was going to move mountains.
00:15:47And I accepted her at her word.
00:16:01I feel so accustomed.
00:16:10I have a special relationship.
00:16:15I have a special heart.
00:16:19I have a special relationship with my family.
00:16:23I have a special relationship with my brother.
00:16:26I have a special heart in the heart of the office.
00:16:38I have a special heart in the heart of the office.
00:16:51I have a special heart in the heart of the office.
00:16:59However, the most difficult thing is my brother's speech.
00:17:12It's all the pain you get.
00:17:18And I'm out.
00:17:25I have never felt in my role in such an effort for her to study.
00:17:40And it's interesting.
00:17:43She has better than average at listening.
00:17:51She is able to look at me, drain all of her brain.
00:18:05All of the things that she says are said.
00:18:14And just listens to what I do.
00:18:24And it's just stunning.
00:18:34When I was a child, I came from an unusual family.
00:18:38My mom did work with people with a range of physical disabilities,
00:18:43people with intellectual disabilities, who came to the house.
00:18:46My mom had a t-shirt with the slogan,
00:18:49Labels are for jars, not people.
00:18:51I found disability interesting because of that exposure.
00:18:57And so I got my dad to build me a pair of crutches
00:19:01so I could pretend to be post-polio or have cerebral palsy or something like that.
00:19:07Tie a blindfold on and spend all afternoon.
00:19:11During her elementary years, I taught her how to write Braille.
00:19:16At her request, I got her a blind pen pal.
00:19:20She was interested in sign language, and I think she may have learned some of that.
00:19:25I was fascinated by the way in which it's not really the impairment,
00:19:29it's the environment that creates impairments for people.
00:19:35Growing up, I got that message very powerfully.
00:19:39How in our society, it's like we want everybody to walk through the same size door,
00:19:43and if you don't fit in that door, there's something wrong with you,
00:19:47and that doesn't have to be that way.
00:19:49Welcome to the 1993 Conference on Facilitated Communication in Syracuse,
00:19:55sponsored by the Facilitated Communication Institute at Syracuse University.
00:20:02I learned about facilitated communication in December of 1990 at a conference.
00:20:10Rosemary Crosley reported on the work she'd done in Australia
00:20:16I had done some work with a girl named Anne MacDonald,
00:20:21who had athetoid cerebral palsy.
00:20:24Couldn't move her hands, couldn't speak.
00:20:28There was nothing.
00:20:30We had a spelling board, but because she had cerebral palsy,
00:20:36her hands would move so much that she couldn't actually hit a target.
00:20:41I tried what would happen if I supported her under her upper arm.
00:20:48She could then move from the elbow and do better in selecting items.
00:20:59And it turned out that she could spell.
00:21:03She wasn't able to speak.
00:21:05And it turned out that she could spell.
00:21:09She was very smart.
00:21:12We gave her the page turner so that every time she hit a button, the page would turn.
00:21:19And suddenly she could read books.
00:21:24As soon as I heard their presentation, I knew that's what I needed.
00:21:29This is how to help all these kids who I used to work with.
00:21:36My mother is one of the first people in the country who started doing training workshops and facilitated communication.
00:21:45When she came back and started using it, she was videotaping everybody,
00:21:50and I ended up being the one who ran the camera.
00:21:53So I was there when she first started using it.
00:21:56I was part of that moment.
00:21:59To see people for the first time be able to type out something,
00:22:05being part of that was amazing.
00:22:10We find that once we open this world for the kids, they are social now.
00:22:14They are appropriate. They do have language. They do understand.
00:22:18I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
00:22:20Charisse has typed 120 poems, nine short stories.
00:22:23She talks about everything she feels.
00:22:25We understood that people knew what it was they wanted to communicate.
00:22:32And we needed to just provide some means to make that possible physically.
00:22:39When I met Derek, I'd been told he had cerebral palsy, and that was all.
00:22:47He walks, he needs to hold on to somebody's arm, have a little support.
00:22:52He can focus his gaze.
00:22:55He can see.
00:22:57He can read.
00:22:59He can talk.
00:23:01He can read.
00:23:02He needs to hold on to somebody's arm, have a little support.
00:23:06He can focus his gaze, but his eyes kind of go off, his head turns.
00:23:11If you're not used to that, we see that as signs of lack of intelligence.
00:23:18I've seen enough people like that in my life to know that that's simply not true,
00:23:22so I don't register things that way.
00:23:25So I had just cut out some pictures from magazines or drawn some pictures.
00:23:30John and Daisy were in the room watching, and I said to Derek,
00:23:34you know, I'm going to ask you some questions,
00:23:37and I'm not asking them because I don't think you're smart enough or anything.
00:23:42I just want to see what happens when you try to point to something.
00:23:48So I watched, and he would kind of start moving his arm.
00:23:52It would go a little ways, and then he'd have this kind of muscle jerk reaction,
00:23:56which turned out to be very typical.
00:23:59You can see how hard he works to try to have the least little bit of control over his arm,
00:24:06and it's slow.
00:24:09If you've got cerebral palsy, you might be able to get your hand to something you're pointing at,
00:24:15but it might take you a minute.
00:24:17How do you have a conversation like that?
00:24:22So I had started with just a little support on his elbow,
00:24:26and that was it initially. That freed him up enough,
00:24:29and then he could select which picture he wanted.
00:24:36So, so far so good.
00:24:39Then I said, now what I want to do is see where you're at with literacy.
00:24:45So I had cards that just had letters on them,
00:24:47kind of like doing bagels.
00:24:49So you have A, B, C, and T.
00:24:52You can spell cat. You can spell bat.
00:24:55And when I asked him to spell as many words as he could using these four letters,
00:25:01he made a very good showing with that.
00:25:06But it's one thing to reach your whole hand toward a very large target.
00:25:11It's an entirely different thing to get one finger pushing a key.
00:25:17So I had this small, very lightweight, portable keyboard with a small LED display called the Neo.
00:25:25I ended up where I was keeping his fingers folded down so that his index finger was isolated.
00:25:34And the first thing I asked him to do was point to the letter H, the letter T,
00:25:41and he started making mistakes.
00:25:42So he mixed up the A and the H, and he mixed up the T and the F and the U and the V.
00:25:50What I realized was that the alphabetical order letterboard that I'd set up were all lowercase letters,
00:25:57and on the Neo is capital letters,
00:26:00and so the difference between the A and the H was one little line across the top of the A, that sort of thing.
00:26:05When he was making those mistakes, I just said, no, no, you're wrong.
00:26:08You know, I asked for the A, you hit the H, here's the A here,
00:26:12and then I went through some other letters, and then I would go back.
00:26:15He didn't make the same mistake twice.
00:26:19So he was a really fast learner.
00:26:22Tell him once, he's got it.
00:26:27It was like the porch lights went on, and I was like, wow, she's doing it.
00:26:34And I felt very excited about it.
00:26:39She said, don't forget, you're traveling with him.
00:26:44You're taking him places.
00:26:47And when you're taking him, he's reading the signs.
00:26:52And you know, I'm mama.
00:26:55Tell me what my sons can do.
00:27:01I was elated.
00:27:03I mean, I always knew that there was something there.
00:27:06And so in a way, it somewhat confirmed what I'd already knew.
00:27:11And the school that he attended, the Essex County Day Training Program,
00:27:15they had this remarkable things with him.
00:27:19They were able to get him to the point where he can, you know, walk on his own.
00:27:24But there was this question of intellectual capacity.
00:27:28And so to have this revelation that Derek can do these things,
00:27:33it was just like, wow.
00:27:34I knew it was there, and I'm just happy for him.
00:27:39To see him do that, I was very excited, you know.
00:27:43And I'll never forget, she asked him, she said, well, who's the president?
00:27:47And he touched Obama.
00:27:50And I was like, wow, you know, he's, you know, this is...
00:27:54So he was progressing.
00:27:56Mm-hmm.
00:27:57Mm-hmm.
00:28:04One day when Derek came, and I just asked him,
00:28:07you know, did you do anything particularly interesting this week?
00:28:10And he typed GM.
00:28:13His spelling was very, very creative in the beginning.
00:28:16And I said, hmm, you know, did you play a game?
00:28:19Was there some kind of game? No.
00:28:21Gym. Did you go to the gym? Yes.
00:28:23And then Daisy popped in with, oh, yeah,
00:28:27his day program had gone to a health club,
00:28:30and he had walked on a treadmill, and he'd really enjoyed that.
00:28:34At that point, Daisy had stepped outside the room.
00:28:38And I said, you know what, it's occurring to me
00:28:41that I never actually asked you what you like to be called.
00:28:44Your brother told me your name was Derek,
00:28:46and you came in, and I've been calling you Derek.
00:28:48Tell me, what do you want me to call you?
00:28:51And he typed D-M-A-N.
00:28:56And I was looking at that,
00:28:58and it didn't look like any name that I recognized.
00:29:01Daisy came back in the room at that point,
00:29:04and I said, he typed D-M-A-N.
00:29:07Does that mean anything to you?
00:29:09She said, oh, he had this really great teacher
00:29:13back when he was about 13 years old
00:29:15who used to call him D-Man.
00:29:17That was the teacher who got him out of the wheelchair
00:29:20and got him walking.
00:29:22So I said, is she right?
00:29:24And he said, yes.
00:29:26So I called him D-Man from there.
00:29:31That was a really important moment,
00:29:33being able to tell people what you want to be called
00:29:37is this important emotional aspect of life
00:29:41that we take away from people when they can't speak.
00:29:51♪♪♪
00:30:04D-Man and I saw each other several hours a week.
00:30:07And over the course of the year, as he speeded up,
00:30:11as his spelling got a little better,
00:30:13it went from a couple word answers
00:30:17to five word answers.
00:30:21To a whole sentence to a couple sentences.
00:30:26So by the end of a year,
00:30:28we could really have a decent conversation.
00:30:32And he could then be more expressive
00:30:35and more detailed about what he had to say.
00:30:38And that was real progress. That's huge.
00:30:41♪♪♪
00:30:46I didn't really feel like I was getting to know him
00:30:48as a person until he got to that stage.
00:30:51♪♪♪
00:30:55♪♪♪
00:31:01Somewhat early on, I started seeing Derek
00:31:04had the intellectual capacity to do high level work
00:31:07and to put sentences together
00:31:09and do all these different things.
00:31:11I was like, whoa, this is great.
00:31:13She told us, because Derek was hanging around you all
00:31:15for so long and listened to your conversations
00:31:18and you went to movies and you would watch TV.
00:31:22And so he's absorbing all of these things.
00:31:25And so that's how he built his body of knowledge.
00:31:28And, you know, without, you know,
00:31:30going through a peer-reviewed assessment
00:31:32of those assertions, I was like,
00:31:34okay, I'll buy that. Cool.
00:31:36♪♪♪
00:31:41One of the things that really bothered him
00:31:43was that he hadn't had the opportunity
00:31:46to get a formal education of any sort.
00:31:49His brother was getting a doctoral degree,
00:31:51so he had watched his brother and the whole process
00:31:54and he really, really, really wanted to have that also.
00:31:59So there was a course being offered on Saturday mornings
00:32:03at Rutgers Newark.
00:32:05It was an African-American literature course
00:32:07and that looked really interesting to him.
00:32:08♪♪♪
00:32:16I guess the idea was for Derek to go to a class,
00:32:19possibly write papers,
00:32:21or at least be able to show the work
00:32:23that may put him in line to then go on and pursue a B.A.
00:32:26I was getting towards the end of my Ph.D. program
00:32:29and so, you know, this kind of thing, you know,
00:32:32black scholar, my baby brother was developmentally disabled,
00:32:35was going to be a black, could be a black,
00:32:36scholar, I felt great.
00:32:38♪♪♪
00:32:42I sat in the class with him
00:32:44and provided communication support for class.
00:32:47♪♪♪
00:32:58We ended up finding him a student
00:33:00who would facilitate demand for doing part of the homework.
00:33:03Her name was Sharonda Taylor.
00:33:04She would do part of the homework.
00:33:06Her name was Sharonda Jones.
00:33:08Sharonda met with him outside of class
00:33:10for several hours a week
00:33:12so he could read the book
00:33:14and then at least take a crack at writing the essay.
00:33:16She had never taken this class.
00:33:18She never read the books.
00:33:20She just provided the support.
00:33:22♪♪♪
00:33:36He wasn't doing 400-level writing
00:33:38but he was correctly identifying characters
00:33:40and plot elements.
00:33:42He clearly had read the book and understood the book.
00:33:43♪♪♪
00:34:00From 1619, when 20 of us were sold by a Dutch ship
00:34:04to the English colony...
00:34:06One day in class, the professor started it out
00:34:08by showing a film
00:34:10on the entire African continent
00:34:13and the African diaspora.
00:34:17And demand wrote something.
00:34:22He wasn't expressing himself as articulately
00:34:25as I knew he was capable of.
00:34:27And I was typing back to him
00:34:29because we were in class.
00:34:31So I typed back,
00:34:33what if you said it this way?
00:34:35Wouldn't this be better?
00:34:37And he typed,
00:34:39I know what you're saying
00:34:41but just read it the way I wrote it.
00:34:43And then we got called on right at that point.
00:34:46I couldn't resist.
00:34:48It was sort of editing slightly as I read
00:34:51which all it did was make it worse.
00:34:53Screwed up the whole thing.
00:34:55But I got to the end
00:34:57and the discussion went on.
00:34:59He typed,
00:35:01never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
00:35:05do that again.
00:35:07I can tell demand mad.
00:35:09This was demand furious.
00:35:12And I typed back,
00:35:14I'm so sorry.
00:35:16And he said I'm not mad
00:35:18but don't ever do that again
00:35:20because I did speak for him
00:35:22and that was wrong.
00:35:24Needless to say,
00:35:26I never did it before
00:35:28and I never did it since
00:35:30but he was pissed.
00:35:42Water running
00:35:58Part of the purpose
00:36:01of my education
00:36:05has been
00:36:07to embrace
00:36:09self-knowledge
00:36:12and to try
00:36:16to do
00:36:20the same
00:36:23and to demand
00:36:25space
00:36:27and time
00:36:29to show who we are.
00:36:32It takes me
00:36:36three times
00:36:37as long
00:36:40to say
00:36:42a sentence.
00:36:44I damn well better have
00:36:47something to say.
00:36:50That's why
00:36:54I wanted to
00:36:57further build
00:36:59a sense of
00:37:01personal value.
00:37:07About a year after
00:37:09demand started typing,
00:37:11my mother was organizing
00:37:13this panel with other FC users
00:37:16for the Society for Disability
00:37:18Studies conference
00:37:20and she asked if he wanted
00:37:22to be part of the panel.
00:37:25I like to arrange
00:37:28at conferences
00:37:30for people
00:37:32who are
00:37:33I like to arrange
00:37:35at conferences
00:37:37that people with disabilities
00:37:39can actually
00:37:41do some presenting.
00:37:45What I had noticed was that
00:37:47in terms of the FC community,
00:37:49Derek was the only African-American.
00:37:51I saw this as a very white space
00:37:53and in a way Derek was
00:37:55a path breaker,
00:37:57a trailblazer,
00:37:59the Jackie Robinson of FC.
00:38:02The panel was on the
00:38:04Right to Communication Clause
00:38:06and the UN Convention
00:38:08on Disability Rights,
00:38:10but I said to him,
00:38:12don't worry about the official
00:38:14topic of the panel,
00:38:16just write something about
00:38:18the right to communicate
00:38:20or what it means to you
00:38:22to be able to communicate.
00:38:24He wanted to be able to
00:38:26refer to some of the literature.
00:38:28I was getting books for him,
00:38:29I got him some acquired,
00:38:31I got him some Piaget.
00:38:33It wasn't much,
00:38:35but it was to give him a taste.
00:38:37So he was reading the books,
00:38:39we were talking about things.
00:38:41What he wrote
00:38:43for the panel
00:38:45was very impressive to me.
00:38:47It was less than a page,
00:38:49but he had a choice of words,
00:38:51a way of phrasing things.
00:38:53It really struck me.
00:38:55I just became more and more aware
00:38:57that this was a man
00:38:59who was very insightful
00:39:01and very thoughtful.
00:39:04He spent a lot of time
00:39:06sitting around,
00:39:08and he was sitting around thinking
00:39:10and give him some ideas
00:39:12and something to work with,
00:39:14and he was just digging in
00:39:16and seeing stuff
00:39:18that I didn't know existed.
00:39:21He was digging stuff.
00:39:23That is what I,
00:39:25I mean, that's what I like
00:39:27in my friends,
00:39:29that's honestly what I like
00:39:31in men.
00:39:33You know,
00:39:35I'm the kind of nerdy
00:39:37intellectual girl
00:39:39who wants a nerdy
00:39:41intellectual guy.
00:39:43You know, you find you
00:39:45really enjoy talking to them,
00:39:47and you share tastes,
00:39:49but you also disagree on things,
00:39:52but, you know,
00:39:54I was married.
00:39:56My marriage wasn't terrific,
00:39:58but I wasn't in any way
00:40:00thinking about going outside
00:40:02the relationship.
00:40:04I wasn't shopping around.
00:40:06It was nothing like that.
00:40:08At the time,
00:40:10if you'd asked me,
00:40:12you know, how do you feel
00:40:14about a man,
00:40:16it's, you know,
00:40:18he's my friend.
00:40:20I just really, really liked him,
00:40:22and I really, really enjoyed
00:40:24his company,
00:40:26and I was really impressed by him.
00:40:44In March of 2011,
00:40:46I invited a man to speak
00:40:47to an undergraduate class
00:40:49where we were talking
00:40:51about disability issues.
00:40:53So students were asking him questions,
00:40:55and somebody asked him about,
00:40:57you know, what his hopes and dreams were,
00:40:59and he talked about going to college
00:41:01and maybe being a writer someday,
00:41:03which was kind of where he was heading.
00:41:05And then somebody else in the class
00:41:07said to him,
00:41:09you know, what about love?
00:41:11What about relationships?
00:41:13Is that something that you hope for?
00:41:15And he typed,
00:41:17I want that more than anything,
00:41:19but that doesn't happen
00:41:21for people with disabilities like mine.
00:41:26And in that moment,
00:41:30I mean, what I wanted to say was,
00:41:32I almost,
00:41:34you know,
00:41:36you can have that with me.
00:41:45I started thinking about,
00:41:47okay, well, wow,
00:41:49if this is the way I'm feeling,
00:41:51okay, I've got to think about this,
00:41:53and I didn't,
00:41:55I still didn't want to say anything to him.
00:41:57I was like, well,
00:41:59I've got to figure this out.
00:42:01I mean, I had my husband and my kids.
00:42:03Okay, I'm in love with the man.
00:42:05I realize this now,
00:42:07but I'm not going to say anything.
00:42:09I have to sort all of this out.
00:42:11It was awkward.
00:42:12Then I saw him about a week later,
00:42:14and I found myself saying
00:42:17that I help the other people
00:42:19that I do facilitated communication with
00:42:21because I believe so strongly
00:42:23that everyone has a right to communication.
00:42:27And that I said,
00:42:29I do what I do for you because I love you.
00:42:32And he typed,
00:42:34he said, I know.
00:42:36I love you too.
00:42:39And I said, I know.
00:42:41He asked me to kiss him,
00:42:43and I did.
00:42:45And then he said, kiss me again.
00:42:49And I did.
00:42:51And he said, so now what?
00:42:54And I did.
00:42:56And he said, so now what?
00:43:21As things went up,
00:43:22As things went along, Derek started going on the speaking circuit, I guess, going to
00:43:29these conferences and all, and there started to be some tension.
00:43:35They were driving to this event in suburban Trenton somewhere, and my mom was playing
00:43:42gospel music, and Anna goes and turns the station and puts on classical music.
00:43:53Derek doesn't want to hear this, he wants to hear that.
00:43:56She had ejected my gospel music, so I hid it and it went back to playing.
00:44:03Derek loves gospel.
00:44:04He goes to church, he uses the music.
00:44:07That assumption that he prefers the high culture of classical music and not the low culture
00:44:11of gospel, I mean, it was just too much of a leap.
00:44:16There were different things, like one day when we broke for lunch, I was cutting up
00:44:34his chicken, and she rolled over to the table and said, what are you doing giving him meat?
00:44:40He's a vegetarian.
00:44:41I said, nobody sent me any friggin' memo.
00:44:45There was another time she's working with Derek on the computer.
00:44:49I said something to the effect of Derek just jokingly, I can't wait till we get home so
00:44:52we can just get a beer and kick back and just relax.
00:44:55And then on the keyboard said something to the effect of, I don't like beer, I like red
00:45:01wine.
00:45:02And I just thought that to be hella peculiar.
00:45:05Derek does not, he doesn't even like communion wine.
00:45:08If you're in a giving care frame of mind, you don't see the person you're supporting
00:45:17as somebody who's in a position to make their own decisions, who has their own ideas about
00:45:23how they want things done.
00:45:30You want to give them some control to develop into a person who has a good sense of themselves.
00:45:37So that part is a hard adjustment for parents or teachers who've been in a, I'm taking care
00:45:45of you mode.
00:45:46Turn your feet.
00:45:47Turn your body.
00:45:48Now step off.
00:45:49Thank you.
00:45:50When I would dress him, you know, and she would pick him up, she had these signs that
00:45:57she would do if he wanted yes or no, and she would say, do you want to wear your undershirt
00:46:02today?
00:46:04And then if he hit here, that's no, and that was yes.
00:46:09And then she would, oh, he don't want to wear this.
00:46:16And that's when she said, you know, you have to understand, you know, you treat him like
00:46:21he's a, he's a kid, he's a man.
00:46:26My mom kept telling me all, you know, I was saying that, you know, she's too mothering,
00:46:30she's smothering Derek.
00:46:31That Derek doesn't want all of this help from her, that she, you know, you can't be my mom
00:46:37all the time and all these different things that it seems to be breaking my mom down.
00:46:42And then to add to that, this idea that, oh, Derek now wants to live independently.
00:46:48Demand had wanted to look into a more independent living arrangement, moving out of his mother's
00:46:53house and moving into a supported living situation.
00:47:12There was an organization that was able to provide supervised housing for Derek.
00:47:17Derek would have individuals looking out for him 24 hours a day.
00:47:20He would take classes.
00:47:22He would get his degree.
00:47:24As my mom was telling me this, I thought, where's this money going to come from for
00:47:27this? Because it's not going to be free.
00:47:29And I just kind of saw that as, all right, you're getting a little too personal here.
00:47:35Now you're looking into Derek's support.
00:47:38And I just wasn't comfortable with that.
00:47:41I said, Ana, if he's going to move in a place, he's going to move in the basement where
00:47:45John lived before John got on his own.
00:47:48Derek is not going anywhere.
00:47:50You need to cut the apron strings.
00:47:53I said, how am I going to cut my apron strings when Derek cannot walk, talk or do
00:47:58anything on his own?
00:48:00See, that's where you're wrong.
00:48:02Derek can do it.
00:48:05You're opening up a whole new world for him.
00:48:13The ways in which she talked to my mom, you know, not mothering the proper way and
00:48:19saying that Derek doesn't like this and wants this or Daisy, you need to let him be a
00:48:22man. It just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
00:48:27Part of it might just be a level of self-consciousness on my part, because I remember
00:48:30growing up in the late 80s, early 90s.
00:48:32And, you know, when my mom and dad separated and divorced, the idea of single
00:48:37parenthood was resonant.
00:48:41There was all these studies about, you know, children of single parent households just
00:48:45don't do well. And, you know, invariably it was framed around, you know, Black women
00:48:49aren't good parents.
00:48:51You know, there's things that Black women can't teach their sons.
00:48:54And all of that was kind of in my ears.
00:48:58Now, I think it's important to recognize that my mom, prior to all of this, was
00:49:03affiliated with a number of organizations that were headed by women of color who were
00:49:08advocates for people of color with disabilities who otherwise may have been
00:49:12overlooked. For Anna to make certain assumptions about my mom's
00:49:18expertise or her decision making and those kinds of things, it just has those
00:49:23racial undertones and overtones.
00:49:25It wasn't like, you know, nigga, get in the back of the bus kind of racism.
00:49:29It wasn't that, but it was more like making assumptions based on the idea that some
00:49:32people might be inherently deficient.
00:49:37Anna was just ignoring the past 30 some odd years and everything that my mom has done to
00:49:41get us to this point, right?
00:49:46And so I had it in my mind, we're going to have a long conversation, we are going to
00:49:51have to like really set some hard, fast rules or we may have to just kind of begin to
00:49:55draw things down.
00:50:01DeMann and I had debated on several occasions whether we wanted to say anything to
00:50:07Daisy and John about the change in our relationship.
00:50:11We knew we were going to tell them eventually, so it was more just we were enjoying
00:50:16that kind of initial beginning of a romance when it's very private and it's very
00:50:21intimate and it's just the two of you and it changes when you start sharing with
00:50:26family. But we had started figuring out ways that we could, you know, try to spend
00:50:32time together.
00:50:34And it was a Sunday, DeMann and I had made plans to go to a film festival in New York
00:50:41where there was a film being shown called Wretches and Jabberers, which is about FC
00:50:46users. Daisy wanted to go to church that morning and in thinking about locations and
00:50:54stuff for eventual romantic rendezvous, we definitely didn't want to use, you know,
00:51:01his mother's house.
00:51:02But, you know, here we are at the house and she's not there and it's difficult for
00:51:10him to kiss. So we wanted to practice like anything else.
00:51:17It was a physical challenge for him.
00:51:23I could tell that he's very tense and every time he tried to sit back, he would kind
00:51:28of pop up again and I said, like, talk to me, you know, obviously this is not working
00:51:33for you. What's going on?
00:51:36And he typed, I really, really love being with you and I want to be doing this, but
00:51:42I'm just really overwhelmed right now.
00:51:43I need a minute. And I said, you know, fine, take all the time you need, of course.
00:51:52So he excluded himself down the hallway and I got a glass of water, I was just giving
00:51:57him some time. And I said to him, look, you know, you're the one where this is all a
00:52:03brand new thing for you.
00:52:05You've got to call the shots.
00:52:06You've got to, you know, I don't I don't want to do anything that makes you
00:52:09uncomfortable. I don't want to push anything faster.
00:52:13I don't know what's going to work for your body and what isn't.
00:52:16So you tell me.
00:52:18I was figuring at that point that like the moment had passed and that was all right.
00:52:24And he typed, may I touch your breasts?
00:52:29And I was like, wow, OK, I didn't know where that was.
00:52:33You know, that wasn't what I was expecting.
00:52:36OK, and then he typed, take your shirt off all the way.
00:52:43It's like, OK, so I did that.
00:52:46And then he said, take the rest of your clothes off.
00:52:48And OK, so I did.
00:52:52And then he said, you know, I've dreamed about this.
00:52:58It seemed to me that what he was doing was taking control of the situation.
00:53:04He was like really ordering me around.
00:53:06And, you know, but that was kind of cool because I wasn't necessarily anticipating that
00:53:11element of the relationship.
00:53:14He said, I long to hold you the way that men do.
00:53:20I said to him, look, I feel held.
00:53:23He said, do you think that it would even be possible with my cerebral palsy for us to make love?
00:53:35And I said, you know, I have no idea, but there's only there's only one way to find out.
00:53:50RUSTLING OF LEAVES
00:54:07We had this meeting scheduled for Memorial Day for Demand to talk to Daisy and John about the independent living counsellor.
00:54:13And a man brought up or I brought up, I don't even remember, you know, should we also use this opportunity to tell them about the change in our relationship?
00:54:23But I said to him, look, if Daisy and John did get upset about this and chose to separate us, technically, that's a violation of your rights.
00:54:32But it would be very hard to challenge them on that.
00:54:36He said to me, they would never do that to me.
00:54:40They love me too much.
00:54:45We all sit down and there just seemed to be this awkwardness about it.
00:54:50You know, if we're going to talk about business, let's talk business.
00:54:53But she seemed she looked at Derek and said, do you want me to tell them?
00:54:57And so tell us what?
00:55:01And then she grabs Derek's hand and she says, I don't want to tell them.
00:55:05And she grabs Derek's hand and on the keyboard comes up, we are in love.
00:55:12So he typed, you know, Ana and I are in love and, you know, we have a physical relationship.
00:55:20And John said something about, you know, use protection and Demand said yes.
00:55:25And she said, yes, we have made love.
00:55:30And I was like, what?
00:55:33Yes, we've made love.
00:55:36He's a man in every sense of the word.
00:55:41And what I did, I sat on my hands.
00:55:47And I said, you did what?
00:55:59You know, they asked me about where things were out with my husband.
00:56:04And, you know, I told them I really did want to be with Demand permanently to marry him.
00:56:10That I hadn't talked to my husband yet, but that I was going to very soon.
00:56:15And there was a moment as part of the conversation where he asked me to kiss him.
00:56:21I found that a little awkward, like I didn't really want to in that moment.
00:56:25Just, you know, but he insisted.
00:56:28So I did.
00:56:30I tried to be civil.
00:56:32John had gone somewhere and I think he went down and threw up.
00:56:36I was shocked.
00:56:39I didn't really know what to make of it at the time.
00:56:42But I felt myself getting so angry and rage filled that I left.
00:56:50I went downstairs, I paced the floor a bunch of times.
00:56:54I looked at the cracks in the wall.
00:56:55I remember I had to let my anger subside.
00:57:02I said goodbye to Demand and Daisy was there and she came and gave me a big hug and said,
00:57:09you know, we'll get through this.
00:57:10We'll figure this out.
00:57:12I was heading out the door and just saying goodbye to Demand.
00:57:15I said, you know, I said to him, like, a good call, love, fun, you know, it was a good choice to tell them.
00:57:22And then I left and, you know, I was feeling fine.
00:57:26John called me the next morning, about 10 o'clock in the morning, and I think I knew something was going to be wrong when I saw he was calling.
00:57:42He said, Daisy and I don't want you to see Demand until you and she and I have a chance to sit down and talk.
00:57:52We sort of scheduled a meeting.
00:57:54Then she pulled out.
00:57:55Then John or Daisy got back to me and said, you know what, we just don't want to meet.
00:58:01That was when then I started calling Daisy.
00:58:05Hey, Daisy, it's Anna, calling to find out if things are going to work out.
00:58:09I'm hoping for us to get together tomorrow.
00:58:11She would talk to me on the phone.
00:58:14I would kind of address her concerns and talk about things.
00:58:18Daisy, this is Anna.
00:58:20I've been thinking about concerns that you raised the last time that we talked, and I'll put in writing with my finger and sign with blood that I will commit to a specific time when I will leave my husband and I will make a permanent life and home with Demand.
00:58:41OK. And then she stopped returning my calls.
00:58:45She left this message.
00:58:47You know, I will sign my name in blood.
00:58:50So I can be with Derek.
00:58:54And at that point, I was just like, oh, this is this is off the chain, something's wrong here.
00:58:58At that point, I guess the, you know, the academic side of me just started focusing in on facilitated communication.
00:59:07I had a number of questions.
00:59:08I had a number of red flags.
00:59:10One of the things that happened with the facilitated communication was that part of the sessions were for us, a mom and I, to also practice with him.
00:59:24And so I would be there with him and, you know, a sentence will come out.
00:59:30All right, John, you try.
00:59:31And so I would try to and I would get nothing.
00:59:34You know, eventually he would apply pressure.
00:59:36I may get two words, but it wouldn't make sense.
00:59:38And then when my mama tried, nothing would happen.
00:59:40See all these marks on my arm?
00:59:42That was Derek's facilitating.
00:59:45He would grab me and pull my hand, you know, take my hand away from his.
00:59:50The coaching from Anna was you have to keep trying, you have to keep practicing, you have to anticipate what he's going to say.
00:59:59And I was one of those like, hmm, that's when I guess my own doubts started to creep in.
01:00:06And that's when I started looking for the video that I initially saw in the classroom to see what in the world am I doing wrong?
01:00:15And that's when I stumbled upon the Frontline documentary on FC.
01:00:25Some people had their doubts about facilitated communication.
01:00:29Dr. Howard Shane has devoted his life to helping disabled, non-verbal people to communicate.
01:00:35This is Dr. Shane.
01:00:36How are you?
01:00:36Nice to meet you.
01:00:38In 1990, I got a call from a prosecutor in Western Massachusetts because someone was being facilitated.
01:00:46And while being facilitated, he mentioned that his aide in his group residence was sexually abusing him.
01:00:53And the prosecutor wanted to be sure that this individual was actually independently communicating.
01:01:02When you have somebody hold your hand, it obviously brings up the question every time, well, are they being influenced?
01:01:10How can you be sure that these individuals are actually, you know, independently communicating or they aren't being facilitated and really being influenced?
01:01:24I went on to design a protocol that would enable me to determine who was authoring the message.
01:01:34OK, folks, what I'm going to be doing now...
01:01:35Shane had devised a double blind test like this.
01:01:38He showed both a series of pictures and asked them to type what they saw.
01:01:43Betsy, are you sure you're looking at it?
01:01:44When both Betsy and her facilitator saw a picture of a key, the letters K-E-Y were typed.
01:01:53But Shane wanted to discover what happened if each saw a different picture.
01:01:58When Betsy saw a cup, she didn't type cup, she typed hat, what the facilitator saw.
01:02:05I'll take a look at this one.
01:02:07OK.
01:02:08When Betsy was shown a picture of a dog, she didn't type dog, but sneakers, what the facilitator saw.
01:02:18OK, here's the next one.
01:02:19Later work that I did and others have done seems to indicate that facilitators were doing this thinking that they were giving people the ability to be able to communicate.
01:02:29I don't think that they're intentionally trying to create a false message.
01:02:34They believe that this is coming from the person who's being facilitated.
01:02:40The scientific evidence suggested that far from unlocking the minds of autistic individuals,
01:02:45F.C. tapped the unconscious thoughts of the facilitator.
01:02:52I just remember thinking at the time,
01:02:55you know, Derek was writing those papers.
01:02:59What I found interesting in hindsight is that a lot of it revolved around this idea of,
01:03:05you know, now I have a voice, now I can speak and talk and
01:03:10whereas I was trapped, now I have this freedom.
01:03:15And a lot of it revolved around things that just, in my estimation,
01:03:21were not about Derek.
01:03:24And so to me, it was like this whole F.C. thing is bogus.
01:03:31I never got any vibe off of John or Daisy that they didn't 100% believe that what Demand said was Demand's words.
01:03:42I had been careful in the beginning to make sure that I wasn't influencing them.
01:03:47But there were so many, so many situations that he was telling me information I didn't know
01:03:53and in the beginning, I was checking it to make sure that I wasn't influencing
01:03:57and the fact that we had arguments and disagreements and so on and so forth.
01:04:02I mean, he very clearly had his own mind.
01:04:06He more than proved himself.
01:04:09The homework assignments that Demand had typed with Sharon,
01:04:13I mean, had John come and talk to me, I had all of this proof
01:04:18that I could have shared with him to reassure him.
01:04:25I have seen such a significant change in him after the war.
01:04:35I can't imagine what it would have been like
01:04:39I can't say it is universally applicable, I think.
01:04:52But who can?
01:04:54Where is it?
01:05:02Correct me if I'm wrong.
01:05:04Facilitating communication.
01:05:06The individual, what he does is that he points to the letters or types them
01:05:11with the assistance of someone else?
01:05:13Yeah, the key there is to, one, make sure that the facilitator, the person holding the hand,
01:05:18is not unintentionally trying to spell things out themselves
01:05:22or guessing or assuming what it is the person is saying.
01:05:26So it's safe to say that it's a thin line.
01:05:32I mean, it's hard to say.
01:05:36At the time, we weren't trying to pursue any kind of legal thing.
01:05:40We just wanted to leave us alone.
01:05:44But then one day, the director of Derek's Day program got an email from Ana
01:05:49and the gist of it was, Daisy and John have not allowed me to see Derek,
01:05:54but Daisy and John don't know what's in Derek's best interest,
01:05:57but we as people who work with people with disabilities do.
01:06:06And at that point, I saw, you know what, if she's going to go to these lengths
01:06:10to try to get to Derek behind our back, there's no telling what she may do.
01:06:15And I need to take steps necessary to put an end to this.
01:06:19And so I made an appointment to meet with the dean.
01:06:23I remember going into her office and I started to tell her what was going on.
01:06:29She kind of froze and was like, took a deep breath.
01:06:34Kind of froze and was like, took a deep breath and was somewhat in disbelief.
01:06:41I don't think I had taken the opportunity to kind of let myself release this emotion.
01:06:48I was just sat in that office and I don't think I've ever cried in front of a white woman before,
01:06:52but I just broke down.
01:06:55And she basically said to me, in so many words, John, make sure you get a lawyer.
01:07:00Hello?
01:07:02Hello, Ana?
01:07:04Hi.
01:07:05Hi, how you doing?
01:07:07What's up?
01:07:08I want to talk to you about Derek.
01:07:11There's been some things that's been bothering me about all this conversation.
01:07:19I got a phone call one day from Daisy and she said...
01:07:24He has not been acting himself.
01:07:26And I think he misses you.
01:07:30I sure as hell miss him.
01:07:34She said, you know, he's been biting his hand a lot more. He's really unhappy.
01:07:38So she said, I'm just trying to understand what happened between the two of you.
01:07:43He's been nodding his hands and doing all sorts of things.
01:07:47So, you know, I need to know how he's doing.
01:07:51I need to know how many times you all made love, Ana.
01:07:54I really...
01:07:55Because I'm thinking about what's really going on with Derek and how he's feeling.
01:08:04To me, it sounded like, oh, maybe this is an opening.
01:08:07You know, maybe they're seeing he's unhappy and they're reconsidering.
01:08:10And so I was happy to answer her questions.
01:08:14In terms of actually, you know,
01:08:18In terms of actually making love,
01:08:21there were two Sundays that we were able to be together like that.
01:08:25So what did you do?
01:08:27I mean, please clear this up in my head for me.
01:08:30So, I mean, my office has enough floor space
01:08:35and I brought in an exercise mat and the beach towel
01:08:40and we were able to make things work.
01:08:45You know, again, that feels kind of weird to talk about with your lover's mother,
01:08:49but, you know, whatever.
01:08:51If it kept the conversation going and if she was listening.
01:08:54He's the most important person in my life.
01:08:57I'm the most important person in his life.
01:09:00We're so happy when we're together.
01:09:03I'm lucky if I get through 20 minutes of any day without thinking about him.
01:09:09If I did things like bite my hands, I'd be biting my hands right now.
01:09:13I found out later that that phone call had been set up by the police
01:09:17and they had coached her on what to say and it was being recorded.
01:09:22The date is August 22nd, 2011.
01:09:25This is regarding Special Victims Unit case number S11-0141.
01:09:30The target of the investigation is Marjorie Ann Stubblefield.
01:09:33The consenting party is a one Daisy P. Johnson.
01:09:37The crime is a one Marjorie Ann Stubblefield.
01:09:42The crimes investigated are crimes of the sexual assault nature.
01:09:54It was a Monday and I was teaching class in the afternoon.
01:10:00So I pulled into the parking lot and I was approached by two people in plain clothes.
01:10:08They said, we're with the Essex County Prosecutor's Office
01:10:11and we need to ask you some questions.
01:10:14And the only thing I could think of was something about a student.
01:10:20You know, I'm wondering what's going on.
01:10:22And then they said, do you know somebody named Derrick Johnson?
01:10:29I was like, okay.
01:10:33And that was starting to penetrate that, wow, okay, this is...
01:10:44So then I had to make a decision on the spot about how much do I say?
01:10:48But I figured, you know what, I didn't do anything wrong.
01:10:52I talked to them for about two hours and I told them the whole story.
01:10:56You know, that we were in love and all of that stuff.
01:10:59I just didn't actually say the words, you know, we consummated the relationship.
01:11:05They drove me back to the parking lot at Rutgers
01:11:09and there was a person I didn't know who identified himself
01:11:13as a representative of the dean's office.
01:11:17He handed me a letter and the letter informed me that as of this moment
01:11:22I was suspended from my teaching duties at Rutgers.
01:11:25I was not allowed on campus.
01:11:29♪♪♪
01:11:44And while I was there, they had gone to my house with a search warrant.
01:11:53My now ex-husband was there,
01:11:56so he's found out that I'm under investigation.
01:12:00♪♪♪
01:12:14This is Detective Christine Wachowski of the Essex County Prosecutor's Office.
01:12:18I am interviewing Ms. Sharonda Jones.
01:12:21Ms. Jones, did there ever come a time that you got involved with Anna Stubblefield?
01:12:25Yes. My professor suggested her because I work with children
01:12:28with mental and behavioral disorders,
01:12:31so she figured that it would probably be a good connection
01:12:34because she talked about working with facilitated communication.
01:12:37Can you tell me a little bit about the facilitated communication?
01:12:40What kind of process is that?
01:12:42It's pretty much me being an arm for the man.
01:12:45I would hold his arm up while he would type out
01:12:48whatever thoughts that he had on a communication board.
01:12:53He pretty much read the books.
01:12:55I didn't know any information about the book.
01:12:58I can't tell you what he read, and he typed out the information.
01:13:01One of my roommates was in the class with him,
01:13:04and they pretty much wrote some of the same things.
01:13:08Today we're conducting an interview with Ms. Karen Moore.
01:13:11What do you do at the university?
01:13:13I teach African American literature.
01:13:15And how do you know Ms. Stubblefield?
01:13:17Well, she wrote to me.
01:13:19He was not in my class last semester,
01:13:22in 2010.
01:13:24And when you say he, that's Derek Johnson?
01:13:26I only knew him as D-Man. I did not know that was his name.
01:13:29And Adam would assist with...?
01:13:32Well, you know what that situation is.
01:13:35They say that, you know, the students are saying what they want to say
01:13:40while she's guiding the hand, so...
01:13:42Did he participate in the class?
01:13:45He did.
01:13:47She... He... She... He, I guess, would...
01:13:51I don't know that I really believe that that actually happens, but...
01:13:55So...
01:13:56So he would... He would... She would, you know,
01:13:59write whatever it was that he wanted to say.
01:14:02She'd raise her hand and she'd read it.
01:14:04He would never have verbalized anything, or...?
01:14:06As far as I know, he can't talk.
01:14:08Okay.
01:14:21I got a call from my assistant
01:14:23saying that the Special Victims Unit in New Jersey was calling.
01:14:29Asked me if I would be willing to provide some assistance as an expert.
01:14:41As it was described to me,
01:14:43I'd never encountered any case
01:14:45that mirrored these particular circumstances.
01:14:49I'd never seen anything like it.
01:14:56In this case, the question to me was,
01:14:58could you evaluate Derek
01:15:00to understand his best level of communication?
01:15:05From everything that I read,
01:15:07there was a consistency to the extent of his disability.
01:15:10But I went in with an open mind.
01:15:13I met him when he was brought to the prosecutor's office
01:15:16I met him when he was brought to the prosecutor's office.
01:15:19He was accompanied by his brother and his mother.
01:15:23I already knew that he had no speech.
01:15:27So I proceeded to introduce different types of materials
01:15:32for him to indicate.
01:15:34Pictures, photographs, which are very realistic.
01:15:38It was difficult for him.
01:15:40You know, I really didn't get very much from that.
01:15:43He was able to pick up some objects,
01:15:45not when I said, you know, pick up the spoon or pick up the cup.
01:15:49I did an interview of his mother
01:15:52based on everything that she had observed,
01:15:55and she certainly was a very good observer.
01:15:57I found that he was, you know, functioning at a pretty low level.
01:16:01His way of telling you that he wanted something to eat
01:16:04was he would scoot over to the refrigerator
01:16:06and tap on the refrigerator.
01:16:08That's very functional.
01:16:10But to move from that to pointing to a picture of the refrigerator,
01:16:14he had a greater level of abstraction.
01:16:16And in all the years he had been in these different programs,
01:16:19he had never moved from the physical to that type of communication.
01:16:28I spent two or three hours with him.
01:16:32He spent a lot of time just moving around the room.
01:16:35He liked coat hangers.
01:16:37So if he saw a coat hanger, he would go over and he recognized that.
01:16:40He liked to slap them on the floor.
01:16:44So I just basically reported what I found.
01:17:05I made a determination that what I was observing
01:17:09was consistent with what the medical records said.
01:17:12Consistent with what the medical record had indicated
01:17:15for, you know, over 20 years of his life.
01:17:19There was no one in the 20 years
01:17:21who saw some sparkling of, you know, something different.
01:17:42Like a call.
01:17:44Yeah.
01:17:46And it's in red.
01:17:50And I'm like,
01:17:53Oh, what?
01:17:56So I'm so...
01:17:58Oh.
01:18:00And I'm like,
01:18:02Oh, what?
01:18:04So I'm so...
01:18:06Oh.
01:18:08And I'm like,
01:18:10Oh.
01:18:40But I...
01:18:44On the...
01:18:46No.
01:18:50It's about control.
01:18:53And it's about guilt.
01:18:56I was actually looking forward to the trial,
01:18:59as finally this nightmare is going to be over.
01:19:02I knew she was not guilty of anything.
01:19:12I'm not guilty of what they did to me.
01:19:18I'm not guilty of what they did to my son.
01:19:22I'm not guilty of what they were accusing me of.
01:19:28If the accusation is I have some weird perversion
01:19:33that makes me want to molest
01:19:35helpless, intellectually impaired people,
01:19:38that's simply not the case.
01:19:43This whole thing is framed in terms of consent
01:19:47and his ability to consent
01:19:49because I'm the one who's accused of assault.
01:19:51It's all as if it was all coming from me,
01:19:54which is really not fair to him
01:19:56because he seduced me
01:19:58and he deserves some credit for that.
01:20:01Here's this guy who's so physically impaired
01:20:04and he's got me to fall in love with him
01:20:09and with his words.
01:20:21The judge kept taking things away
01:20:23and taking things away in terms of evidence.
01:20:26I knew that DeMann was the author of what he typed.
01:20:29I wasn't influencing him.
01:20:31But at the end of the day,
01:20:33I didn't have anything except my word for that.
01:20:42There was a morning the prosecutor said
01:20:45we're going to bring DeMann into the courtroom.
01:20:49It was Daisy who walked him in.
01:20:54I had to say who he was
01:20:56and, you know, I was his mother
01:20:59and the fact that he could not walk by himself independently,
01:21:03I just walked him in front of the judge
01:21:07and then around by the jury stand.
01:21:10It was horrifying to me
01:21:12that a human being
01:21:14had been basically made an excuse
01:21:17had been basically made an exhibit.
01:21:20I know with DeMann there are ways of walking with him
01:21:24in which he looks less handicapped
01:21:27and his mother walked him in
01:21:29in a way that made him look as handicapped
01:21:33and incapable as one could possibly manage.
01:21:37She turned around again
01:21:39and she turned always putting her body in between him and me
01:21:43and walked him out.
01:21:47I think that some jurors
01:21:50I think that some jurors
01:21:55don't try out the other side
01:21:59don't try out the other side
01:22:02to look for evidence for his poor health.
01:22:05to look for evidence for his poor health.
01:22:08And I think that if we put more in him
01:22:11And I think that if we put more in him
01:22:13and not just any of them,
01:22:15of women.
01:22:18And so it was hard to protect them.
01:22:24But I feel that Anna,
01:22:29which has only normal oil,
01:22:33it's so pleasant for her.
01:22:37Having her body back
01:22:42was indescribable.
01:22:51What we didn't have on the jury was anyone with significant physical disabilities
01:22:56or that understanding of a disability rights perspective on the whole case.
01:23:02At the end of the day, it was just be myself and tell my story
01:23:08and hopefully the jury would see
01:23:11that guy over there is this wonderful, intelligent man who I was in love with.
01:23:17I wouldn't have fallen in love with him
01:23:22if he was somebody that wasn't capable of consent.
01:23:27I wouldn't have fallen in love with him
01:23:32if he wasn't interested in reading books and talking about ideas.
01:23:37If somebody has an interesting, engaging mind,
01:23:42and a good heart and a beautiful soul,
01:23:47it shows through and you love the person and so you love being close to them
01:23:52and you love the body that they're in because that's the body that they have.
01:24:13Was there any moment, either during your time with Derek
01:24:17or during the trial or now,
01:24:20where you had doubts about what might have occurred between you two?
01:24:23Never.
01:24:27Her attorney came and he was making me to be the villain.
01:24:32And he said,
01:24:35Well, how do you feel about her being his lover?
01:24:40I said, No. I said, She's not his lover.
01:24:45I said, No. I said, She's not his lover.
01:24:50I said, No. I said, She's not his lover.
01:24:56This whore done laid down, raped my son,
01:25:00and I had to compose myself
01:25:03because that's my son.
01:25:13Days and nights I walked through hospital corridors
01:25:18not knowing what was wrong with my son,
01:25:21not knowing his medical condition, him having seizures.
01:25:26And for that moment, I almost lost it.
01:25:31I did.
01:25:34I really did.
01:25:39Because who does that?
01:25:44Who does that?
01:25:49Criticize me.
01:25:54Make me look like I'm nobody.
01:25:57I don't understand.
01:26:00Who does that?
01:26:07I don't think that Ana Stubblefield truly recognized
01:26:12how she devalued my brother and also devalued my family.
01:26:17It's one thing to hear Ana Stubblefield say,
01:26:22Derek and I love each other, just like...
01:26:26But as the details of what actually transpired unfold,
01:26:31that she was in her office, she had this mat on the floor,
01:26:35and then you recall that moment or that day
01:26:38where I was changing Derek's diaper,
01:26:40and I saw these abrasions on his back.
01:26:44Strawberries, like somebody's dragging you across the floor.
01:26:48And we couldn't figure out where the heck these things came from.
01:26:52We called the school. Did Derek fall down?
01:26:55Did something happen at the school? Did somebody hit my brother?
01:26:58They're like, no, nothing happened. We don't know.
01:27:00Prosecutor's trying to figure out what happened,
01:27:02and the story comes out, oh, something happened in the office.
01:27:06And, I mean, this woman, 140, 150 pounds,
01:27:09I don't know how much she weighed, but she's much heavier than him.
01:27:12Derek is slight. He's 5'3", 5'4".
01:27:14And she was exerting so much force on him
01:27:17that his back was being drug across this mat,
01:27:21and it was leaving scars.
01:27:24SIGHS
01:27:27SIGHS
01:27:40That woman did not give a damn about my brother.
01:27:44I didn't think I was going to be convicted,
01:27:47but I wear contacts,
01:27:49and that morning when the jury came back,
01:27:53I did put my glasses in my purse.
01:27:57It was my one little concession to,
01:28:00if I ended up in prison,
01:28:03I was going to have to go to jail.
01:28:06I was going to have to go to jail.
01:28:09It was my one little concession to,
01:28:12if I ended up in prison, I needed my glasses.
01:28:18I think by the time the verdict actually came,
01:28:23I was expecting it.
01:28:29When the jury read the conviction,
01:28:32I started saying out loud to the judge,
01:28:34just, you know, please let me take care of my daughter,
01:28:37please let me take care of my daughter.
01:29:08She absolutely forgave me.
01:29:15Never doubted her.
01:29:17No, not for an instant.
01:29:21I mean, I watched her interact with people her whole life,
01:29:26and she is...
01:29:31..as compassionate a person as I've ever known.
01:29:35And there's no way... I mean, she's never harmed anybody.
01:29:40And there's certainly no way she would have harmed a man.
01:29:44Do you think she believed that he was typing?
01:29:48Yeah, in her wicked mind.
01:29:51In her wicked mind.
01:30:05State versus Marjorie Anna Stubblefield.
01:30:08Indictment number 13-1-44.
01:30:11We are here today for the sentencing of Marjorie Anna Stubblefield.
01:30:15Is there anyone that would like to speak on behalf of the state?
01:30:18Yes, Your Honour.
01:30:20The victim's brother, John Johnson, would like to address the court.
01:30:23His mother would like to approach and stand with him
01:30:25while he addresses the court.
01:30:27That's fine.
01:30:30Good afternoon, Your Honour.
01:30:32Good afternoon.
01:30:3434 years ago, doctors said my brother would not live to see his third birthday.
01:30:39Those doctors and the devil are liars.
01:30:43My brother since then has grown to become a loving person.
01:30:46He is a beautiful brother, and he is a beautiful son.
01:30:50I don't think Anna understood the depth of pain she caused my family.
01:30:54She tried to lay claim to him and rename him.
01:30:57She tried to supplant Derek's life, a life steeped in the history and culture
01:31:03of his God-fearing, Southern-rooted, African-American family.
01:31:08She tried to supplant that with some version of life she thought was better.
01:31:12She tried to lay claim to him and rename him.
01:31:16She tried to supplant Derek's life, a life steeped in the history and culture
01:31:24of his God-fearing, Southern-rooted, African-American family.
01:31:27We need to disenchant ourselves from the notion that Anna Stubblefield
01:31:30is some tragic she-ro.
01:31:32Anna is not Sandra Bullock, and this is not the blind side.
01:31:35Derek is not some poor black kid from the ghetto that needs someone to save him.
01:31:40An able-bodied woman raped a disabled young man that could not consent to sex.
01:31:46You were wrong, Anna. You committed a crime.
01:31:48There is no gray area.
01:31:50In closing, thank you, Your Honor, for helping bring this ordeal to a close.
01:32:01I have read and received letters from the former husband of the defendant
01:32:05who wrote a very compelling impact statement.
01:32:10I believe that Anna is a pathological liar and narcissist.
01:32:14She will stop at nothing to fool the court and seek vindication
01:32:18regardless of the emotional and financial expense to her family
01:32:22or the primary victim's family.
01:32:24Clearly, I am distraught, but this and the impact on my immediate family,
01:32:29I leave it to the wisdom of the court to determine a just sentence.
01:32:36Ms. Stubblefield, please stand.
01:32:39As to Count 1, first-degree aggravated sexual assault
01:32:44where the victim was physically helpless or mentally incapacitated,
01:32:48I sentence you to 12 years in New Jersey State Prison.
01:32:52As to Count 2, I sentence you to 12 years in New Jersey State Prison
01:32:57concurrent with Count 1.
01:33:00After you are released from prison, you are placed on parole supervision for life.
01:33:05After you are released from prison, you are placed on parole supervision for life.
01:33:35I never thought that she was a predator.
01:33:39She truly believed that what she was doing was in Derek's best interest.
01:33:45She thought that he deserves the opportunity to have a life
01:33:49outside of, you know, living with his mother.
01:33:52But I think that given what I observed and what I learned from his record,
01:33:57I think that it would have been a false life with Anna.
01:34:02I think that she was an unfortunate victim of methodology that's very problematic.
01:34:10However she interpreted what was going on,
01:34:13whether she actually had those conversations with him, I don't know.
01:34:16But she, you know, from my perspective, she was having conversations with herself.
01:34:22And, you know, I mean, I don't know where to even go with that.
01:34:32♪♪♪
01:34:42♪♪♪
01:34:52♪♪♪
01:35:02♪♪♪
01:35:12♪♪♪
01:35:23-♪♪♪
01:35:28When I first came out of prison, I managed to pick up a waitressing job.
01:35:33And then there was some publicity around when I did the plea bargain
01:35:36and I was sentenced and one of their customers complained and so they let me go.
01:35:42So I was doing that kind of thing for the first year.
01:35:47And then I do have, you know, what's now kind of part-time work.
01:35:53I'm working at home. Nobody knows me.
01:35:56And so, you know, that's okay, but it's not teaching.
01:36:03That was my whole identity. That was everything.
01:36:07I don't know what the man's life is like now.
01:36:13As far as his mother and brother, I think they had to really decide
01:36:17that he wasn't intelligent and he wasn't typing and it was all a fraud and a hoax.
01:36:25A friend of mine who is another, somebody else who uses facilitated communication
01:36:30who knows a little bit more than I do,
01:36:33somebody else who uses facilitated communication,
01:36:35who knew DeMann and was friends with DeMann.
01:36:39He said, look, if I was DeMann, I would rather have, you know,
01:36:45had the relationship with you and lost it than never to have had it in the first place.
01:36:52So I hope that he's right, you know.
01:36:56But...
01:36:58Yeah.
01:37:11People don't think that there was damage done. Yes, it was.
01:37:16And it's still going on.
01:37:20I had to put him on medication
01:37:23because he masturbates.
01:37:29He has this urge and, you know, it's like an itch that he can't scratch.
01:37:34And it's hard enough to give him a life without him going through that.
01:37:41And she did that.
01:37:44Because if you don't ever strike that match or do whatever, how will you ever know?
01:37:53Showing all your muscles, huh?
01:37:56Good.
01:37:59Ready to eat?
01:38:02One of the tough things about this whole process is that there was this idea that,
01:38:07oh, he can do all these wonderful things.
01:38:13And then to have to, looking at everything that was taking place,
01:38:17then say, but he can't.
01:38:26And in a sense, I kind of felt as though I was diminishing his value.
01:38:29Yeah, Derek can't do that.
01:38:35Going through that process of having to recognize that,
01:38:38damn, yeah, he is really disabled.
01:38:40And that's fine.
01:38:42He can't do all the other things that other people can do,
01:38:45and that's perfectly fine because we're going to be all right regardless.
01:38:50Okay.
01:38:55Oh, you going to show him that smile?
01:38:59Yeah, so here I am.
01:39:02The psychiatrists determined that Derek was deemed incapable
01:39:08and incompetent of taking care of himself.
01:39:11Well, I knew.
01:39:14I knew.
01:39:16And knowing and accepting it and just embrace him,
01:39:21just love him for who he is.
01:39:25No matter what or how strong he gets, he's still my child.
01:39:32He will always have that younger,
01:39:34he will always have that younger mindset.
01:39:38And, you know, he's 40 years old, and that's where we are.
01:39:57And I don't love him no less, and I don't love him no more.
01:40:00He's my baby.
01:40:02He is my baby.
01:40:32He is my baby.
01:41:02He's my baby.
01:41:03He's my baby.
01:41:04He's my baby.
01:41:05He's my baby.
01:41:06He's my baby.
01:41:07He's my baby.
01:41:08He's my baby.
01:41:09He's my baby.
01:41:10He's my baby.
01:41:11He's my baby.
01:41:12He's my baby.
01:41:13He's my baby.
01:41:14He's my baby.
01:41:15He's my baby.
01:41:16He's my baby.
01:41:17He's my baby.
01:41:18He's my baby.
01:41:19He's my baby.
01:41:20He's my baby.
01:41:21He's my baby.
01:41:22He's my baby.
01:41:23He's my baby.
01:41:24He's my baby.
01:41:25He's my baby.
01:41:26He's my baby.
01:41:27He's my baby.
01:41:28He's my baby.
01:41:29He's my baby.
01:41:30He's my baby.
01:41:31He's my baby.
01:41:32He's my baby.
01:41:33He's my baby.
01:41:34He's my baby.
01:41:35He's my baby.
01:41:36He's my baby.
01:41:37He's my baby.
01:41:38He's my baby.
01:41:39He's my baby.
01:41:40He's my baby.
01:41:41He's my baby.
01:41:42He's my baby.
01:41:43He's my baby.
01:41:44He's my baby.
01:41:45He's my baby.
01:41:46He's my baby.
01:41:47He's my baby.
01:41:48He's my baby.
01:41:49He's my baby.
01:41:50He's my baby.
01:41:51He's my baby.
01:41:52He's my baby.
01:41:53He's my baby.
01:41:54He's my baby.
01:41:55He's my baby.
01:41:56He's my baby.
01:41:57He's my baby.
01:41:58He's my baby.
01:41:59He's my baby.
01:42:00He's my baby.
01:42:01He's my baby.
01:42:02He's my baby.
01:42:03He's my baby.
01:42:04He's my baby.
01:42:05He's my baby.
01:42:06He's my baby.
01:42:07He's my baby.
01:42:08He's my baby.
01:42:09He's my baby.
01:42:10He's my baby.
01:42:11He's my baby.
01:42:12He's my baby.
01:42:13He's my baby.
01:42:14He's my baby.
01:42:15He's my baby.
01:42:16He's my baby.
01:42:17He's my baby.
01:42:18He's my baby.
01:42:19He's my baby.
01:42:20He's my baby.
01:42:21He's my baby.
01:42:22He's my baby.
01:42:23He's my baby.
01:42:24He's my baby.
01:42:25He's my baby.
01:42:26He's my baby.
01:42:27He's my baby.
01:42:28He's my baby.