Lazy Mario: The Thousand Year Bore: Episode #10 (Don Pianta)
Transcript
00:00:00Mario the Thousand-Year Door. Everyone's playing it, uh, yelling about it on Twitter, and you know what I realized?
00:00:06I realized there's someone who has two thumbs and still hasn't finished his Let's Play of this game.
00:00:10This guy! So, let's, uh, oh, look at that. That was, I wish I could say that was planned, that perfect transition to the music,
00:00:18but we don't plan anything.
00:00:21You can see the El Gato video capture data in the background, because I don't know, how do I maximize the window?
00:00:28Nothing makes sense anymore, but we are, uh, trying to beat this game without using Mario.
00:00:36Last time, like, what, a year ago?
00:00:38I bum-rushed the second boss, not expecting to be able to beat him, and we got him, so we will start at
00:00:44level three. This is my favorite level in the whole, in the whole game, but, uh, we, the catch is we are not using Mario at all.
00:00:53Okay, I think we're live on YouTube. Very nice. I'm just gonna grab my, uh,
00:00:59uh,
00:01:02um,
00:01:03what? Say that again? You can't get in touch with Lord Crump?
00:01:07You are correct, sir. We are investigating now. We should hear any time.
00:01:16Jagrtus, please allow me to enter.
00:01:21Yes, what is it? I have a report, sir.
00:01:24The Crystal Star, in the Boggly Woods, has apparently been taken by Mario.
00:01:31What? You must be joking! What about Lord Crump and the Shadow Sirens?
00:01:36I'm sorry, sir. Unfortunately, Mario laid a beating on all of them.
00:01:41Hmm. Disturbing. This Mario character. What kind of...
00:01:47Speak up, X-Naut. What is the status of the other Crystal Stars?
00:01:51I apologize, sir. We are still searching for the other Crystal Stars. Unsuccessfully, sir.
00:01:57He knew of three of them. Hooktail Castle, Boggly Woods, the one we got in Rogueport.
00:02:03That means there are four Crystal Stars left out there. And we will have them.
00:02:08Keep looking so that Mario won't beat us to the punch.
00:02:11Yes, sir!
00:02:12As I suspected. There's no reason to doubt that Mario has that map. He must.
00:02:21Listen up, you. I want you to keep a close watch on what Mario does from now on.
00:02:26That's the fan service in a Mario game.
00:02:30Nobody will mind if I take a quick rinse.
00:02:36Okay.
00:02:43I don't think there's anything in here for me to find. I gotta go talk to the computer.
00:02:53Oh! Is this text doing again?
00:03:00Yeah, I don't think there's anything else in here.
00:03:02Nope.
00:03:08No, I can't go up there yet. Nah, he's gonna let me.
00:03:11It doesn't work.
00:03:19Hello, Princess Peach. I am glad you came.
00:03:23That mail I sent to Mario, did it reach him alright?
00:03:26Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the mail.
00:03:31Is that so? Well, good.
00:03:34So what do you want from me today? Is there more you want to know of love?
00:03:40You expressed regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a ball, correct?
00:03:46Excuse me? Were you eavesdropping?
00:03:51I am sorry, Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on you.
00:03:56But it is odd when you said that I had an impulse to dance with you as well.
00:04:02How my CPU would produce this impulse is inexplicable. I must find what caused it.
00:04:09Find out what caused it? There's no reason behind such a feeling, Tech.
00:04:14Wanting to do something together, it's part of love. I know it.
00:04:18But then again, you are, well, a computer.
00:04:22Princess Peach, please dance with me.
00:04:26Wait. Wait just a minute.
00:04:29What am I supposed to do? You say you want to dance. It's just so bizarre.
00:04:34I mean, how in the world can I dance with you? You have no arms, or feet, or moves.
00:04:41Would this be an acceptable dance substitute?
00:04:45Oh my goodness, is that me? Did you create that?
00:04:50Oh, alright, I guess.
00:04:54I must say, though, it's going to feel weird dancing with myself.
00:04:59Press the buttons as they display on the screen. You can screw up if you want.
00:05:05I'm going to screw up on the first one and then try to do it right.
00:05:20Okay, and then she does that if she misses.
00:05:29Oh, and you can miss the timing, too.
00:05:32I'm going to screw up.
00:05:49Thank you, Princess Peach. That was very fun.
00:05:52And there's no punishment for getting it wrong, it's just how cool you feel.
00:05:56Just a moment.
00:05:59Fun.
00:06:00Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?
00:06:04Tech, are you okay?
00:06:07Princess Peach, I will fulfill my promise to you. Please use my communicator.
00:06:12Use the keyboard to send whatever message you want.
00:06:20I'm finished, Tech. Could you send it?
00:06:22Could you send it?
00:06:28The message has been sent. Please go back to your room.
00:06:32I want to analyze the data from this dance immediately.
00:06:36The data that I thought was fun.
00:06:42You're a weird computer.
00:06:45No, you are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer.
00:06:52Good night, Princess Peach.
00:07:00Save all game progress up to this point? Oh yeah!
00:07:17I'm pretty sure it's just up ahead here.
00:07:23Right as usual, Lord Bowser.
00:07:26We just got word that Princess Peach was spotted in the town up ahead.
00:07:31Good, yes, very good. Then I'm off. These fools don't know what's coming.
00:07:37My lord, you're so super.
00:07:45Ready to roll.
00:07:49Bowser times infinity.
00:07:53You just keep getting bigger and bigger.
00:08:03Ban it. Bowser with cannon level strength.
00:08:23Now, I think if you don't get all the power-ups, he does go in the castle.
00:08:32Hey, welcome to Petalburg, ingot.
00:08:37Hide, everybody, hide!
00:08:45What a wuss. Yes, hide, chickens. I have no need for any of you.
00:08:51What I do need, though, is Princess Peach. Now, where is she? Tell me this instant.
00:08:59Lord Bowser, over there.
00:09:05Bingo, Princess Peach. Man, that was easy.
00:09:10I found you, my princess. I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa King, offer my greeting.
00:09:17Dead stone, Simon.
00:09:20Oh, no, none of that silent treatment. You're coming to my castle with me.
00:09:29Clearly, she's so overcome with joy that she's been left speechless.
00:09:34The mind of a maiden is, well, rather complicated.
00:09:37I see, I see. How refined. How elegant. Awesome.
00:09:42I suppose I could live with a silent princess. It might even have its perks, you know.
00:09:47No!
00:09:51My life's treasure. I'd rather die than give up my life-sized peach poster.
00:09:57My life's treasure. I'd rather die than give up my life-sized peach poster.
00:10:11Poster.
00:10:13Oh, my goodness me. Didn't see that coming.
00:10:18Great. Just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of guys who talk to posters.
00:10:28Bruce here. Matt Wanger is here.
00:10:32Save, yes.
00:10:37Juke, says Matt Wanger. Oh, hey, hey, I think I just posted, uh...
00:10:42Yeah, I think I just posted some videos. Oh, I may not have posted yet.
00:10:45I scheduled some videos of me talking about, uh, your comic, Walk on Yo's Side.
00:10:49All right. Who's talking? Oh, yeah, it's the little nerdy guy.
00:10:52Thank you, Mario, for everything you've done.
00:10:55We can go back to our peaceful way of life now.
00:10:58You know, son, now that we get right down to it, I'm kind of sad to see you go.
00:11:03I do love pontificating, so come on by whenever you want to sit and chat a while.
00:11:10Yes, please come back and visit. We'll watch for you.
00:11:14We'll work together from now on to prevent anything like that from happening again.
00:11:18Thanks for showing us how to stick together, Mario. Good luck with the crystal stars.
00:11:23Oh, I'm sure we'll be back again at some point. Yeah, definitely.
00:11:27Take care, guys. You're such a bally girl. See you, Mr. Mario.
00:11:32They're all southern. I've decided that now.
00:11:37I wonder if I can still pull them around.
00:11:39Oh, and we have the mosquito. The mosquito's permanently joined our group. Okay.
00:11:44I don't think I ever found him when I originally played the game years ago.
00:11:47Okay, hold on. Let's try this.
00:11:48No, that no longer works. Alright.
00:11:53We'll be alright, Mario. Good luck with your search for the crystal stars. I bet they say the same thing.
00:11:57I can't wait to see you again, Mr. Mario.
00:12:00Take care, big stache man.
00:12:04Whoa. Did he say something? I guess he's silent. Okay.
00:12:12I'll be happy to pontificate for you anytime you like.
00:12:15I'll be happy to pontificate for you anytime you like.
00:12:18We'll be alright, Mario. Good luck with your search for the crystal stars. Okay, it's mostly the same stuff.
00:12:24Alright, I don't think there... Oh, yes, there is something back here.
00:12:27You got FP+. Alright, now...
00:12:30For badges, because I'm not using Mario...
00:12:36What do I have equipped? Yeah, equip change is so important, I ought to just keep it.
00:12:40And I don't know if there's anything better than happy heart right now.
00:12:43Happy heart P. That might be useful.
00:12:48To an ally, that would keep the allies alive longer.
00:12:54Especially if the allies... So the only point of Mario is he's a tank, right?
00:13:01Oh, I'll let Mario take the punishment, since that's his only function in this Let's Play.
00:13:14Can I, uh... I can't zip yet, okay.
00:13:23Alright, we're headed to the Glitz Pit.
00:13:26M-Mario becomes a professional wrestler!
00:13:32Oh, messy me! Sounds like some mayo!
00:13:35Alright, let's go.
00:14:06I love how the character dialogue is slightly different for all the incidental lines, right?
00:14:13Oh, yeah, these guys. And I really don't want to fight them if I can avoid it.
00:14:17Oh, boy.
00:14:22Run zig-zag so they don't shoot at us! No!
00:14:26Great. Um...
00:14:28Swap partner. This is a job for Koops.
00:14:32Can I even kill those guys? I'm sure I can. I'll figure it out.
00:14:45Isn't there an option to do nothing?
00:14:48Oh, yeah, appeal is do nothing.
00:14:50Can't let them knock him over.
00:14:52Ha! Got him!
00:15:21Okay, I'm not going to come back here until I have more power-ups to explore for Star Pieces and such.
00:15:28There's something weird I have to do to unlock the next level.
00:15:31I think I've got to, like, go find the little guy in town who can lead me there.
00:15:35Because even if I know the way, like, they put, like, hard...
00:15:38...limitations on it.
00:15:40I don't know why.
00:15:42I don't know why.
00:15:44I don't know why.
00:15:46I don't know why.
00:15:48They put, like, hard...
00:15:50...limits on how you make progress.
00:16:05Bada bing.
00:16:06Matt Wenger says, hey buddy, hey buddy!
00:16:09Yeah, so Matt Wenger is the creator of several comics, including...
00:16:13...Dragoon Knight Aldrake.
00:16:15I know I've reviewed Dragoon Knight Aldrake vs. Cronus Knights.
00:16:19And I think I put the...
00:16:21The review is old. I'm going through all my old comic book reviews.
00:16:24And I'm putting them up on Twitter and TikTok and everywhere.
00:16:27So I think I recently scheduled that to go up again.
00:16:30Yeah, go check it out. It's fun.
00:16:37Let's talk to the professor first and see if he has a lead for us.
00:16:40And then we'll go from there.
00:16:41Oh, and we want to talk to Luigi if we can.
00:16:46Oh, what's this?
00:16:48You found a scrap of paper in the garbage can with info about...
00:16:51Yucks. Okay.
00:16:52It has been transferred to your tattle log.
00:16:54So if you miss something, then...
00:16:57You found a scrap of paper in the garbage can with info about...
00:17:00Many yucks.
00:17:01It has been transferred to your tattle log.
00:17:03So Goombella can tattle to fill up your bestiarity, but if you miss it...
00:17:06A boss.
00:17:07You found a scrap of paper in the garbage can with info about...
00:17:10Vivian!
00:17:11It has been transferred to your tattle log.
00:17:12Okay, man, I missed a lot.
00:17:14You found a scrap of paper in the garbage can with info about...
00:17:17Magnus.
00:17:18It has been transferred to your tattle log.
00:17:20I guess I... Wow, I missed a bunch of them.
00:17:21I would not have been so unthorough in my younger days.
00:17:25There it is.
00:17:31Red bones.
00:17:32Spinia.
00:17:33Gus.
00:17:34Fuzzy Goldfuzzy.
00:17:36Bald Cleft.
00:17:39Okay, yucks has got to be...
00:17:40Oh!
00:17:42Okay, because after they disappear from...
00:17:44After you beat that, then you don't see them again.
00:17:46Okay, Magnus.
00:17:48A great tree.
00:17:53Oh, and yep, here's the entry that started all the madness on Twitter.
00:17:56Attack 1.
00:17:57One of the Shadow Sirens and Bedlam's youngest sister.
00:18:00She's so cute, she's able to infatuate anyone.
00:18:02So I'm playing the English 2003 version.
00:18:04So this is the slightly censored version where Vivian is changed from a...
00:18:09Otoko no ko into a girl.
00:18:11Because Nintendo didn't think the parents could handle it.
00:18:14Okay.
00:18:15Oh, so you managed to get the Crystal Star from Boggly Woods without much trouble?
00:18:19Well, I've learned several vital things.
00:18:22But first, go to the Thousand Year Door.
00:18:26Oh, you have to go to the Thousand Year Door to unlock the next spot.
00:18:29Okay, that's how you get your lead.
00:18:31I don't think we can beat that guy yet.
00:18:34He's actually pretty tough, and we're not using Mario.
00:18:37Let's save, and let's see how bad an idea this is.
00:18:40Oh, and Luigi's got a partner!
00:18:42Okay, hold on.
00:18:48That's your brother, Luby.
00:18:49Wait, wait, no, I mean...
00:18:50Lufa!
00:18:51No, I mean Luigi.
00:18:53If you wonder what Luigi's up to, I'm sure he'd tell you.
00:18:56All you gotta do is ask.
00:18:57In fact, it kinda looks like he's dying to tell you stuff.
00:19:00That's Luigi's blooper friend, Bluey.
00:19:02It's totally weird to find bloopers on dry land.
00:19:05He seems peeved, though.
00:19:06I wonder why he looks all fried to a golden crisp.
00:19:10Let's talk to Luigi first.
00:19:12Well, I went to Rumble Bomb Volcano, and I got myself a marvelous compass piece.
00:19:18It was an incredible quest.
00:19:20There was danger, and all sorts of adventuring.
00:19:23It was pretty nutso, bro.
00:19:25I'm sure you'll like it.
00:19:28It was pretty nutso, bro.
00:19:30Wanna hear what happened?
00:19:31It's a pretty long story.
00:19:33No.
00:19:34Oh, really?
00:19:36You're lost, bro.
00:19:37Maybe I'll tell you all about it some other time, huh?
00:19:41Oh, okay, you big nerd.
00:19:43I'll listen to your story.
00:19:45Hey, sounds good to me.
00:19:47Which part of my story you wanna hear, bro?
00:19:49I wanna hear about Rumble Bomb Volcano.
00:19:52Well, like I said, it's a really long story, but here goes.
00:19:57As soon as my ship docked on the pudding continent, I set out for the volcano.
00:20:01To reach my destination, I spent several days fording through dense jungle.
00:20:06Scary beasts were all over.
00:20:08More than once, I thought I was done for, bro.
00:20:11I may have screamed a bit to scare them off, you know, but as fate would have it,
00:20:16a blooper named Bluey heard me shrieking and found me in this one town.
00:20:20Bluey was on a journey of his own, but he joined me after hearing my tale.
00:20:24Now, Bluey's a madman.
00:20:26Back in his hometown, they call him the White Torpedo.
00:20:29Yeah, he's a tough guy.
00:20:31Anyway, he helped me fight the Rumble Bomb Volcano.
00:20:34This place was all about bubbling lava pools and heat that make the sun sweat.
00:20:40And the place was lousy with evil traps designed to protect the compass bees.
00:20:45The scariest one of all was this gigantic 100-foot tall statue that stomped around.
00:20:50Now, the weakness of this giant statue, bro, was a red gem on its forehead.
00:20:55Now, I can jump high, but not high enough to reach this thing by a long shot.
00:20:59So, I came up with this plan for Bluey who hit that weak spot.
00:21:02Oh, you man, I said.
00:21:04I waited for a pause in the statue's movements and hooked Bluey up there.
00:21:08And boy's eye, the White Torpedo saved the day.
00:21:11That jewel got whacked.
00:21:13It was a critical hit, and that stone statue toppled and crumbled into pieces.
00:21:18Once that was done, it was an easy stroll to the town where the treasure was.
00:21:21Unfortunately, Princess Eclair was nowhere to be found.
00:21:25But, boy, I got another piece of the marvelous compass and put it in the base.
00:21:29Now, the compass pointed west to Plump Belly Village on this strudel continent.
00:21:34So, I set sails once again and came back here to Rogue Port to recharge.
00:21:39That's what happened to me lately, but I'll be heading back out soon.
00:21:43Ha ha!
00:21:44If you want to hear what I've been up to, just come and find me, okay?
00:21:47I'll be around.
00:21:49Hey there, I'm Bluey.
00:21:51And this guy is a total liar.
00:21:53Don't listen to him.
00:21:54You heard his story, right?
00:21:56Well, he did try to throw me, but he completely tripped.
00:22:00And what happens?
00:22:01I end up landing in lava.
00:22:03Lava, man!
00:22:05You think that feels good?
00:22:07Thanks to him, you could stick a fork in me.
00:22:10I'm well done.
00:22:11My pale skin's crisperfied.
00:22:14I'll never forgive this guy.
00:22:16I'm going to make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime.
00:22:20That's the only reason I'm still hanging around with him.
00:22:23He will pay, Luigi!
00:22:25Ha ha ha!
00:22:28I think someone tried to make a fan game out of Luigi's Adventure at one point.
00:22:35I really want it to exist.
00:22:37I want there to be like a bonus level at the end of the remake where you get to play through Luigi's story.
00:22:49Alright, uh...
00:22:54Let's try.
00:22:57Whoa, whoa, hold up now!
00:22:59If you want to pass through here, you gotta pay ten coins.
00:23:02I can take you.
00:23:03What? You gotta be kidding.
00:23:05You think you can fight your way through here?
00:23:07I'm gonna make you eat your words, tough guy!
00:23:10Let's get this party started!
00:23:14Excuse me.
00:23:16Oh, we've tried this once before.
00:23:18Uh-oh.
00:23:20And you know what?
00:23:22Yeah, he still has a spear.
00:23:24Does the spear hurt her?
00:23:26I don't know if it counts as the same as the other thing.
00:23:29Hold on.
00:23:30Oh, it does! Okay.
00:23:31It's exactly like a spiky goomba.
00:23:33And Mario does nothing.
00:23:39And I can't dodge with him either. I count that as him doing something.
00:23:42Okay, tactic, swap partner.
00:23:44It's all on Koops.
00:23:46Yeah, mine and Flurry can't do anything either.
00:23:48Okay.
00:24:01Ha! Got him!
00:24:04Uh-oh.
00:24:09That shouldn't hurt bother us, though. Okay.
00:24:12Okay.
00:24:17How do you do the second stylish on that? It's a little tricky. Okay.
00:24:22I say okay a lot. I was watching one of my videos and I noticed I say that as just, like, my vocal tick.
00:24:27Anytime I'm thinking out loud.
00:24:29It's a bad habit. I should work on it.
00:24:34There it is. Okay. Not that it matters.
00:24:36Oh, boy!
00:24:38Nope.
00:24:42Okay.
00:24:47Hey, I think we're gonna make it.
00:24:57Enemies that make contact will get hurt?
00:24:59Well, then, that doesn't count as doing anything.
00:25:01We'll just put him in the front.
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:27I think our man Koops is gonna be the MVP. I think we got this.
00:25:42Hey, hey, hey! Alright!
00:26:04Let's grab, uh...
00:26:07Okay.
00:26:29I guess that's Ishnael.
00:26:36Apparently, he lives by some super-stern moral code.
00:26:39So, I've been thinking.
00:26:41And I think I want to meet the robo-boss just once.
00:26:45Thing is, I have no idea where the thieves' hideout is located. None.
00:26:49Rumor has it there's a secret passageway around here.
00:26:52But, where could someone find it?
00:26:56Where could someone fit? Okay.
00:27:00It's locked from the inside. Ew.
00:27:02And this is like a notice board of jobs.
00:27:07This is Rogueport's east side.
00:27:09It's considered dangerous here, even for Rogueport.
00:27:12This is Ishnael's turf.
00:27:14He's the leader of a band of thieves called the Robos.
00:27:16Then again, or is it Robos, I guess?
00:27:18Yeah, because they're not robots, they're robbers.
00:27:20You can also find Merlone here.
00:27:22He can help your partners level up.
00:27:24Still, it's definitely too rough a place for a girl like me to walk alone.
00:27:27Wink, wink.
00:27:29Hey, is it your first time to the Trouble Center?
00:27:33If you plan on using our services, I can explain them for you first.
00:27:37Need an explanation? Sure.
00:27:39Listen, listen good.
00:27:41This Trouble Center is where people come with troubles.
00:27:44That's why it's named that.
00:27:46If you want to see what kind of troubles people have, check that bulletin board.
00:27:50If you're a nice guy, you'll choose someone and try to help them out.
00:27:54If not, not.
00:27:55Help someone out, they'll give you a reward, probably.
00:27:58Not a bad deal, eh?
00:28:00But remember, if you decide to solve a trouble, you have to pay to cancel.
00:28:04You got that? Well, good.
00:28:06Then go help someone out.
00:28:10Look at the board if you want to accept the trouble request, will you?
00:28:13Alright, fine, I'll spell it out for you.
00:28:16Listen up.
00:28:17This Trouble Center is where people come with troubles.
00:28:20That's why it's named that.
00:28:21Oh, and then he says it again.
00:28:23Okay.
00:28:24If I had said no, he probably would have made a smart-alecky remark.
00:28:28Garf, Magoomba, Arfur.
00:28:31And there is a mystery one we get, so we actually want to do these.
00:28:34They call me Garf.
00:28:35It's Garfield.
00:28:36I have lost my key and thus cannot get into my house.
00:28:39I hate Mondays.
00:28:41There should be someone in Rogueport.
00:28:43I just need someone to find it.
00:28:45I'll be waiting for you at the house at the very back end of East Rogueport.
00:28:50Want to take on Garf's trouble? Sure.
00:28:52Do it and do it right.
00:28:55Okay.
00:28:57He's not Garf.
00:28:59That's Swindell. We'll figure it out.
00:29:02Arfur.
00:29:04Oh, they're like cartoon dogs.
00:29:05Okay, I think Garf is one of the guys at the front.
00:29:07Uh-oh.
00:29:09That's Garf, part of the Robbo gang.
00:29:11I'm pretty sure he's related to Gus.
00:29:13He looks pretty gnarly, but he's actually pretty cool.
00:29:15Don't judge folks on looks.
00:29:18You took on my trouble? You?
00:29:20Okay, then please find my key and be quick about it.
00:29:23If someone else finds my key, they'll be able to get into my house.
00:29:26So I'll stand guard.
00:29:27I think I dropped my key when I went to the badge shop, but I'm not sure.
00:29:32It's locked. You can't open it. Okay.
00:29:35Let's try it. The badge shop.
00:29:37I can't get there right now, can I?
00:29:39Yeah.
00:29:40But I do have that, so I'll be able to get in that alley.
00:29:42Alright, let's start with the badge shop and we'll come back.
00:29:45Key.
00:29:49I wonder if the shopkeeper saw it.
00:29:54Okay.
00:29:57Okay, that's the normal shop.
00:29:59Oh, and there's gonna be something weird here, too.
00:30:02Graffiti Corner.
00:30:03What's the legendary actress Fleury up to?
00:30:06Her adoring fans want to know.
00:30:08Badly.
00:30:09Theater fan.
00:30:11Will Fleury say anything if she's out here?
00:30:18Nope. Okay.
00:30:20New evil society. The X-Nauts sighted in the Boggly Woods.
00:30:24Silly outfits reported.
00:30:26Could they be linked to organized crime in our fair city?
00:30:32Sniff, sniff. You smell that? Something smells a little like perfume.
00:30:35Yes, indeedy-do.
00:30:36You got someone in your party who wears a lot of perfume?
00:30:39Or is that you?
00:30:41Oh, is that Madame Fleury?
00:30:43Does he change what he says based on who's with ya?
00:30:46Gotta be, right? Or is it Goombella?
00:30:51This guy's Mouse-A-Million.
00:30:52He sniffs out propositions that make him loot.
00:30:54With his nose for opportunity, he could really do well in the straight business world.
00:30:58But I guess no one in Rogueport is really cut out for the suit and tie life.
00:31:03Let's see.
00:31:06I think I've talked to all these guys before.
00:31:07Oh, what's going on here?
00:31:10This is my brother's shop.
00:31:11Someday I'd like to have my own shop.
00:31:13This is my brother's shop.
00:31:14Someday I'd like to have my own shop.
00:31:15That'd be nice.
00:31:16He's got ambitions.
00:31:17Okay, let's check here.
00:31:18I don't think this is a bad shop.
00:31:19It's just regular items.
00:31:21And I've got pretty good-
00:31:22I don't have very good economy, do I?
00:31:24I've gotta be careful about ends.
00:31:27Hey there, fella!
00:31:28Welcome to the Tall Brothers Bazaar!
00:31:30What can I do for you?
00:31:31Uh, just checking points.
00:31:3433 points. Okay.
00:31:35Can I get something?
00:31:38Oh yeah, Mushroom, Ice Storm, Super Shroom.
00:31:39Okay.
00:31:40I don't want to buy anything now because I'm poor.
00:31:43I'm spending all my money staying alive.
00:31:46Okay, wait.
00:31:47Where is the bad shop?
00:31:48Uh...
00:31:49I think it's just a bunch of junk back here.
00:31:54Can you get up there from back here, maybe?
00:31:57I know there's a way up there.
00:32:01I don't want a Goomba.
00:32:05He came down.
00:32:06I need to hide-
00:32:07hide here.
00:32:12Yeah, I'm not going to talk to all the NPCs right now.
00:32:17Usually I talk to all the NPCs when I first enter an area,
00:32:20so I kind of hear what they have to say.
00:32:24The inn.
00:32:27We already helped her pay for a contact lens.
00:32:32Is there a bad shop?
00:32:34The bad shop's either, like, up on the second floor.
00:32:38Yeah, I don't think the bad shop is sitting on the first floor.
00:32:41Okay.
00:32:43Oh, and we should do the happy-lucky lottery.
00:32:52Uh, never mind.
00:32:54Lacey!
00:32:55Well, if you need anything, just ask, okay?
00:32:57Be happy!
00:32:58And lucky!
00:33:00You can't cheat in that game with the GameCube, uh,
00:33:03ca- calendar.
00:33:04You can't go back in time where he knows you cheated,
00:33:06but you can go forward in time and he has no way of knowing.
00:33:12Okay, so there's got to be a way up there.
00:33:14I think there might be an exit up here.
00:33:16That might be it.
00:33:24Here we go.
00:33:26Is this the bad shop?
00:33:28Oh!
00:33:29You got a house key.
00:33:30A key to a house.
00:33:31Whoever lost it likely needs it back.
00:33:33Okay, I don't have enough money to buy badges,
00:33:35so I won't do that right now.
00:33:39We'll help out Garf.
00:33:41Uh, activate the map.
00:33:48Let's see.
00:33:49You know what I never did?
00:33:50I never did my, uh,
00:33:51I never did my sound test.
00:33:52Maybe I'm talking into thin air.
00:33:54Come on.
00:33:56Okay, good, okay.
00:33:57I hear my sound coming.
00:33:58Alright.
00:34:00That would have been a disaster.
00:34:06Did you find my key?
00:34:08Yes, my key!
00:34:09I can finally get inside my house again!
00:34:11Oh, sweet home, thank you!
00:34:13Please take this as payment for your efforts, alright?
00:34:1620 coins, alright.
00:34:17I need, I need money.
00:34:21You solved the trouble!
00:34:27Hey, we don't have much here,
00:34:28but make yourself at home if you want.
00:34:30So he probably would have said something if,
00:34:32there's so much flavor text.
00:34:34Yeah, if I had gone and talked to him before I accepted his trouble,
00:34:36he probably would have said something to complain about
00:34:38being locked out of his house.
00:34:46Okay, I know I can slide through here.
00:34:55There we go.
00:34:57That's Pierre.
00:34:58He sure does seem to have a lot of free time, doesn't he?
00:35:00Where is?
00:35:01He's been busting his tail lately
00:35:02to catch the eye of the crime boss, Ishnael.
00:35:05Who me?
00:35:06My name's Pierre.
00:35:07I'm what's technically called
00:35:09a completely awesome thief.
00:35:11I used to work as a geologist
00:35:12researching the rocks under the town,
00:35:14but it paid nothing.
00:35:16That's when Ishnael,
00:35:17the boss of the Robbos, picked me up.
00:35:20I've since washed my hands of geology
00:35:22and am now an amazing thief!
00:35:24Ha ha ha!
00:35:25Ha!
00:35:26Ha!
00:35:31Okay, I can't do anything down there yet.
00:35:33And I think I can get that.
00:35:35Hey!
00:35:36I wasn't even looking for that star piece.
00:35:38I was looking at that one.
00:35:39Okay.
00:35:40There's another way to get that.
00:35:42Let's talk to Ishnael.
00:35:46Oh, he's a snail.
00:35:47Ishnael the snail.
00:35:50That's Gus.
00:35:51He's part of the band of thieves
00:35:52who call themselves the Robbos.
00:35:54He looks like a total maniac,
00:35:55but he's actually a nice guy.
00:35:56Don't judge books by covers.
00:35:59Why do you get off talking to me
00:36:00like nothing happened?
00:36:01Like there was no whooping?
00:36:03Yeah, guys like you act real cool
00:36:05when you win,
00:36:06but when you lose,
00:36:07you're all wah!
00:36:09Ha ha!
00:36:10Is he nice to you if you pay your way?
00:36:16What do you want, chump?
00:36:17If you ain't got business here,
00:36:19then be there.
00:36:21This is where I live, chump.
00:36:23Unless you guys see me for something,
00:36:24you need to leave.
00:36:27That's Ishnael,
00:36:28leader of the thief band called the Robbos.
00:36:30He really hates Don Pianta.
00:36:33I guess that's to be expected,
00:36:34since they're bitter rivals and everything.
00:36:36He's got some issues about money,
00:36:38but he's okay otherwise.
00:36:39Who knew?
00:36:46Okay, we can't advance the story here yet.
00:36:49We'll probably need to talk to him.
00:36:51Yeah, I think you need
00:36:53to talk to Don Pianta
00:36:55in order to get to the Glitz Pit,
00:36:56so we'll be seeing more of him soon.
00:36:59And we should definitely level up my dudes.
00:37:03To power up your partner,
00:37:05talk to me from the other side of the table.
00:37:08Welcome to the home of Malone,
00:37:10the super magician.
00:37:11I foresaw your arrival.
00:37:13So which partner would you like me to power up?
00:37:15Huh?
00:37:16You don't have enough shine sprites.
00:37:17Begone!
00:37:18Come back with more.
00:37:20Curses, okay.
00:37:24Alright, to the...
00:37:26To the...
00:37:31To the Thousand Year Door.
00:37:36What is the fastest way to it?
00:37:39This way?
00:37:44Oh yeah, the crazy girl
00:37:45who can tell you where shine star pieces are.
00:37:47My name is Dazzle,
00:37:49and I'll trade my badges
00:37:50for any star pieces you have.
00:37:52Which badge do you want to trade for?
00:37:54No, it's someone else who tells you that.
00:37:55Okay.
00:37:57I got...
00:37:59The most important for this whole run was
00:38:03partner trade.
00:38:04I can't use a lot of these yet.
00:38:06Chill out.
00:38:07Never succumb to a first strike.
00:38:08That's useful.
00:38:11Memorial's attack
00:38:12causes enemies to sometimes miss.
00:38:15Happy flower.
00:38:16Happy heart.
00:38:17Item hog.
00:38:19Heart finder.
00:38:21Flower finder.
00:38:22Flower finder.
00:38:24Peekaboo, which is
00:38:25basically just to replace Tattle.
00:38:29Flower saver.
00:38:30Drop FPUs
00:38:31when your partner attacks by one.
00:38:35Ha!
00:38:36Drop FPUs when Mario attacks by one.
00:38:38Useless in this run.
00:38:39Boost your partner's attack by one.
00:38:41Boost Mario's jump and hammer attacks by one.
00:38:43Okay, so we'll want to save up
00:38:44for maybe partner ones.
00:38:45What? You changed your mind?
00:38:47So. Lame.
00:38:52And this is...
00:38:54Is this Merlovly?
00:38:58Ah-ha!
00:39:00Welcome, Mario!
00:39:01If you wish to look for the item you seek,
00:39:03speak to me from across the table.
00:39:05That's the fortune teller, Merlovly.
00:39:07She's kind of mysterious, as you'd expect.
00:39:09She divines locations of things,
00:39:11or where we should go.
00:39:12People say she's always right,
00:39:14and they say she's really cute under that veil.
00:39:16I hear some people even fall for her.
00:39:22Seeing...
00:39:23Seeing with my amazing abilities
00:39:25that which you seek is my humble job.
00:39:27So, shall I see something for you?
00:39:29My next path.
00:39:30Sixteen coins.
00:39:31Star Pieces.
00:39:32Shine Sprites.
00:39:33Not right now.
00:39:34Ah-ha!
00:39:35Is that so?
00:39:36Well, if there ever is anything you want to find,
00:39:38just ask.
00:39:39She's a great little hint system,
00:39:40but I need to save the money for now.
00:39:48Okay...
00:39:51We can skip some chunks now.
00:39:55I think it's down and to the left.
00:40:03That's a nice touch.
00:40:04You get an ability,
00:40:05and you can immediately start to use it.
00:40:06Dang it.
00:40:07Okay.
00:40:12Or is it one of these?
00:40:21Oops.
00:40:22I don't want to have to deal with him
00:40:23if I can avoid it.
00:40:25Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah.
00:40:28I think I'm close.
00:40:29Yeah, because you've got the...
00:40:33Paper Airplane ability.
00:40:47Yes.
00:40:50This is the site of the famed Thousand Year Door.
00:40:53The air ripples with power.
00:40:55Behind that door sleeps the treasure
00:40:56that every rogue in Rogueport whispers about.
00:40:59I also read this is where the palace
00:41:00at the center of the ancient town was.
00:41:02Just a little fun fact there.
00:41:04She's such a nerd!
00:41:09Here we go again, Mario.
00:41:11Let's see that crystal star.
00:41:20Hmm.
00:41:51Okay.
00:42:06The location of the crystal star
00:42:07has been recorded on your Magical Map.
00:42:12There it is.
00:42:13The resting spot of the next crystal star.
00:42:15Totally awesome!
00:42:17But it looks like it's pointing somewhere
00:42:19in the sky.
00:42:20Huh? What could that mean?
00:42:22Hmm.
00:42:32That means that beneath this town,
00:42:34the thousand-year-old ruins remain intact.
00:42:43And that door's been sealed shut
00:42:44for a thousand years by the crystal stars.
00:42:47In order to open that seal,
00:42:48we have to muster the power
00:42:50of all the crystal stars.
00:42:52The question is,
00:42:54why did they seal away the legendary treasure?
00:42:56Why did they seal the legendary treasure away
00:42:58to begin with?
00:42:59I mean, were they just trying to keep it
00:43:00from being stolen or what?
00:43:03No, that's not...
00:43:06What? That's not what?
00:43:08I don't know!
00:43:13Sheesh, Professor.
00:43:16I'm sorry, so sorry.
00:43:18I know that the treasure was sealed away
00:43:20around the time the town was destroyed,
00:43:22but the problem is,
00:43:23no one's ever sure what it was
00:43:25that caused the town's demise.
00:43:28All that's written is this.
00:43:30Darkness stole the sky,
00:43:32and the cataclysm rained down.
00:43:34I must research this more,
00:43:36assuming we'll just make a new...
00:43:38Well, you know the saying.
00:43:41No, I don't, but whatever.
00:43:42She's so pure,
00:43:44she doesn't know the saying.
00:43:46How about the next crystal star, then?
00:43:48It's like it's floating on the magical map.
00:43:50Hmm, very interesting.
00:43:52Perhaps it's pointing to the floating town
00:43:54of Goodsville.
00:43:55There's a stunning arena there
00:43:57where great warriors engage
00:43:59in furious battles.
00:44:01Ostensibly, families go there
00:44:03on vacation to lounge and enjoy the fights,
00:44:05but behind the scenes,
00:44:07the richest people in the world
00:44:09wager on the bouts.
00:44:11It's like...floating?
00:44:14She's so blunt!
00:44:16Okay, well, how are we supposed
00:44:18to get there, then?
00:44:20A special blimp flies there.
00:44:22It departs from Rogueport several times a day.
00:44:24Problem is getting a seat.
00:44:26The only way to get a ticket
00:44:28is through certain...channels.
00:44:30What? What channels?
00:44:32Stop being so mysterious.
00:44:34How do we get seats on this ship?
00:44:36Hmm, I don't know.
00:44:38But I guess we don't have much choice.
00:44:40Word on the street is
00:44:42all tickets go through Don Pianta
00:44:44on the west side.
00:44:46Head west from Rogueport's main plaza
00:44:48and you'll reach the west side of town.
00:44:50That part of town is under the control
00:44:52of Don Pianta, the Pianta syndicate head.
00:44:54Apparently, Don Pianta
00:44:56makes pretty regular jobs over to Glitzville.
00:44:58So, no problem.
00:45:00We'll just go meet this Don Pianta guy
00:45:02and we'll be on our way.
00:45:04It may sound easy, but he's a syndicate boss, folks.
00:45:06The rumors about him are scary.
00:45:08And Don Pianta is a recluse.
00:45:10Just getting an audience with him
00:45:12won't be difficult.
00:45:14Fun, fun.
00:45:16Why don't you get a Blim ticket from Don Pianta
00:45:18on the west side? You can go to Glitzville.
00:45:20That's Professor Flankley,
00:45:22head of the Archeology Department
00:45:24at the University of Goom.
00:45:26He's researching the legendary treasure here.
00:45:28I totally respect him!
00:45:30You know the famous Professor Colorado?
00:45:32He was a student of Flankley's.
00:45:34I think Colorado is in the first game.
00:45:36So, they tie it all together.
00:45:38It's so interconnected.
00:45:40Okay, so we can try
00:45:42to see Don Pianta.
00:45:44And, okay, there's like a trick
00:45:46for what you have to buy
00:45:48to see, um, I don't remember the trick.
00:45:50Is that something?
00:45:52No, okay.
00:45:58Oh, and this guy.
00:46:00But I'm gonna be too poor.
00:46:02Hey, hey, hey, yo!
00:46:04I got all the hottest new products right here.
00:46:07You got the fevered look of a man with a mind for goods.
00:46:09Wanna buy something?
00:46:11Repel cape, the WM
00:46:13and the stopwatch.
00:46:15I can't afford any.
00:46:17I could get a stopwatch, but I'll save it.
00:46:19What? No more shopping?
00:46:21Sorry to hear that, my man.
00:46:23This is a limited time offer.
00:46:25I change the goods I offer from time to time,
00:46:27so come back real soon, alright?
00:46:29Yeah, I think he's the only way you can get the Wario
00:46:31and Waluigi badge. Or, I don't remember
00:46:33where you get the Waluigi badge.
00:46:35You have to combine the Wario
00:46:37and Luigi badge to get
00:46:39the Waluigi costume, yeah.
00:46:43Do I want to start doing this?
00:46:45This might be worth it to try to farm
00:46:47some items out of this.
00:46:51Uh, I want a number.
00:46:59Sure, let's do it.
00:47:02Number is 1877.
00:47:08Oh, I didn't read what he said.
00:47:10Okay, hold on.
00:47:12You can use the same number until you win the jackpot!
00:47:14Play lucky and happy!
00:47:16Go ahead and check the board right now to see if you've won!
00:47:18What if I won on the first try?
00:47:20Happy lucky lottery board.
00:47:22All numbers match.
00:47:24Three numbers, two numbers, one number.
00:47:26Today's winning number is...
00:47:28Are you a winner? Nope.
00:47:31Sorry, it's an unlucky day.
00:47:33No matches today.
00:47:35Every day brings a new chance, so try again, okay?
00:47:37Here's a consolation prize.
00:47:39Dude, that is so worth it!
00:47:41Come again tomorrow!
00:47:45How do they stay in business?
00:47:47Good grief.
00:47:51Okay, you have to buy something here.
00:47:54Ooh, I gotta save up money then.
00:48:00That's Pika, a boo that works at Westside Goods.
00:48:02She's so pretty.
00:48:04For a boo.
00:48:06I think her sister's Lala,
00:48:08the boo who works at the piñata parlor.
00:48:10The pianta parlor.
00:48:14Hi there, cutie.
00:48:16Welcome to Westside Goods.
00:48:18What can I do for you?
00:48:20Checking points.
00:48:22Right now you have 33 points, sweetie pie.
00:48:26Oh, and they keep a record of it at all the stores.
00:48:28Okay.
00:48:30Alright, so that's gonna be no good
00:48:32until I have money to buy the trick
00:48:34and I probably have to talk to the snail guy
00:48:36to figure out the trick.
00:48:38Hello, is this real live?
00:48:40Yes, Matthew Rhys is here,
00:48:42creator of Super School...
00:48:44No, what am I saying?
00:48:48Twitless is the creator of Super School.
00:48:50Yeah.
00:48:52Matt Rhys, host of the Madriarchy, is here.
00:48:58I figured with all the controversy
00:49:00about Paper Mario the Thousand Year Door
00:49:02it was time to actually finish my game.
00:49:04Hey, we don't have much here
00:49:06but make yourself at home if you want.
00:49:08You want something, chump?
00:49:10This is the Fortress of the Robo-Thieves.
00:49:12You lost?
00:49:14What business brings a chump like you
00:49:16to a place like this?
00:49:18Say it ain't vacation.
00:49:20Why's that?
00:49:22You wanna meet that lion cheating,
00:49:24stealing nobles?
00:49:26You wanna meet that lion cheating,
00:49:28stealing no good jerky from Brains Dime Piana?
00:49:32Real thieves like us end up poor as dirt,
00:49:34never catching a break because of that guy.
00:49:36Did you come here knowing all that?
00:49:40And you know that scumbag demands
00:49:42protection money from us too, yeah?
00:49:44You know all that and you still
00:49:46want us to tell you how you can meet that chump?
00:49:50Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk,
00:49:52but it'll cost you 64 coins
00:49:54and no budget on the price.
00:49:56Not a single coin.
00:49:58Inside info is pricey.
00:50:00Dems the breaks.
00:50:02Okay, I'll pay.
00:50:04You'll pay? Really?
00:50:06Yeah, you heard me.
00:50:08You don't have enough cash, you dirty cheap.
00:50:10You can't pull a fast one on this snail.
00:50:12Please, come back after you knock over
00:50:14a bank or something, chump.
00:50:16What? You gotta be kidding me.
00:50:18Am I hearing that?
00:50:20I could've sworn you said,
00:50:22Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk,
00:50:24but it'll cost you 64 coins
00:50:26and no budget on the price.
00:50:28Okay, I'll pay.
00:50:30You'll pay? Really?
00:50:32Uh, no.
00:50:34What? Are you gonna pay me
00:50:36or are you not gonna pay me?
00:50:38Make up your mind.
00:50:40Come back once you get your priorities straight, chumpy.
00:50:46Forget you, pal.
00:50:48What?
00:50:50Fine, I get it. Don't wanna pay, huh?
00:50:52Fine. No pay, no way, I say.
00:50:54Come back when you're ready to stop being a cheapskate.
00:50:56Oh, crap.
00:50:58I'm gonna have to, like, grind
00:51:00for coins to advance the
00:51:02splide. Okay.
00:51:08Can I?
00:51:10Why not? Okay. I've gotta, like, get, like,
00:51:12the flight or the ship or something to cross
00:51:14there.
00:51:16Oh, no.
00:51:18I offended Matt Rhys.
00:51:20But you should check out the
00:51:22Matriarchy. Totally. Lots of
00:51:24great stuff. Alright.
00:51:26Wait, what am I doing? Went the wrong way.
00:51:28Yeah, Forces of Good and Evil
00:51:30is Matt Rhys' comic.
00:51:32The other comic about
00:51:34a high school of superheroes.
00:51:38This... Nah, not this guy.
00:51:40That's Larson,
00:51:42the bandit. The word's out
00:51:44on his scam, so he's laying out low here.
00:51:46Of course, he wouldn't have had to lay low anywhere
00:51:48if he just kept his nose clean.
00:51:50You think maybe he just gets a thrill from breaking the law,
00:51:52or what?
00:51:54Goombala has no tolerance
00:51:56for people who disrespect the law and order.
00:51:58I'm pulling
00:52:00another card trick today and making tons of loot.
00:52:02But somebody started tailing me,
00:52:04so I came here to hide out for a while.
00:52:06Don't tell anyone you saw me here,
00:52:08or I'll conk ya!
00:52:10Uh...
00:52:12That's Darkly.
00:52:14He loves the dark.
00:52:16He just stays here in the shadows all day long.
00:52:18Sounds kinda creepy to me.
00:52:20But hey, whatever powers you up,
00:52:22know what I mean.
00:52:24Hey, my name is Darkly.
00:52:26I like dim places.
00:52:28Yeah. I think in my past life I was
00:52:30mold or a potato bug or something.
00:52:32Yeah. Neat.
00:52:34You know, it's neat because I just
00:52:36love places that are dark.
00:52:38And moist.
00:52:40Ah!
00:52:44Can I jump around up here
00:52:46maybe?
00:52:48Is this it? Is this it?
00:52:52Something's here.
00:53:00I know that's something. Hold on.
00:53:08Grr.
00:53:12Was it a star piece I already found?
00:53:14That might have been it. I might have found a star piece
00:53:16there.
00:53:18A lot of little hideaways here.
00:53:22Okay. Well, you know what could earn me
00:53:24a lot of money is doing them quests.
00:53:34Block from the inside.
00:53:36Who needs help?
00:53:40McGoomba.
00:53:42Safe delivery.
00:53:44This is McGoomba, and I have a simple
00:53:46task. I need to have something delivered.
00:53:48Unfortunately, for reasons
00:53:50I won't mention, I can't be seen
00:53:52walking around Rogueport.
00:53:54Meet me behind Zesty's house on
00:53:56Rogueport Plaza.
00:53:58Want to take on McGoomba's trouble?
00:54:00Yes. Do it and do it right.
00:54:02Ah, okay. The guy. Alright.
00:54:04McGoomba. I think McGoomba. Yeah, I know who
00:54:06that is. Behind Zesty.
00:54:26That's McGoomba. A Goomba,
00:54:28obviously. I think maybe he's on
00:54:30the lam from somewhere. I mean, why else
00:54:32would he be chilling in this back alley?
00:54:34It's nasty here.
00:54:36You never know who'll be watching.
00:54:38So let's do this thing quick.
00:54:40Take this package to Goomfrey. You'll find him in front
00:54:42of Frankly's place.
00:54:44And try not to be seen.
00:54:46You got a box. The thing McGoomba
00:54:48asked you deliver to Goomfrey.
00:54:50What's the matter with you?
00:54:52Hurry up and deliver it.
00:54:54You know the details, right? Goomfrey.
00:54:56In front of Frankly's place.
00:54:58And try not to be seen.
00:55:00Can I look
00:55:02at it?
00:55:08No, I can't fuss with it.
00:55:10Okay. I just have to not ask
00:55:12questions.
00:55:14Oh, hello officer!
00:55:16How are you doing today? I love the detail
00:55:18that you're always framed by this when you walk
00:55:20out that way.
00:55:30That's Goomfrey the Goomba.
00:55:32He looks kind of shady I guess, but he's
00:55:34cool. People call him a fixer.
00:55:36You know, a guy that can make any problem
00:55:38just go away.
00:55:40Box.
00:55:42Package. Yep, that's it.
00:55:44I'll dispose of this in a way
00:55:46no one will ever find it. Tell McGoomba
00:55:48I said so. And do me a favor.
00:55:50Forget all this. You hear me? It never
00:55:52happened. For your sake.
00:55:54We never spoke. Forget everything.
00:55:56And when you give McGoomba my message,
00:55:58he'll give you your compensation. Remember,
00:56:00this deal won't be done until you give my
00:56:02message to McGoomba.
00:56:04Oh, okay,
00:56:06hold on. You want to find
00:56:08Don Pianta? I don't know why you think
00:56:10that I'd know something like that, but the
00:56:12RoboBoss who claims this part of town
00:56:14is his turf might know. Yeah,
00:56:16Ishnael, he's the RoboBoss
00:56:18and Don Pianta, uh, he,
00:56:20uh, he's the, and Don, okay,
00:56:22Ishnael, he's the RoboBoss, and Don Pianta
00:56:24are rival criminal heads. It's a,
00:56:26what do you call that, uh,
00:56:28what's it called, a sentence where something,
00:56:30a dependent clause, it's a dependent clause.
00:56:32Thank you, grammar teacher. So, of course,
00:56:34talking to Ishnael about Don Pianta can
00:56:36be hazardous to your health.
00:56:40Oh, nice, because
00:56:42he would have been the first person you talked to, right? So he would
00:56:44have given you the warning.
00:56:50Okay, we might
00:56:52be able to earn 64 coins this way.
00:56:54I forgot how much padding there was
00:56:56in this game between levels.
00:56:58Did you deliver it?
00:57:00Oh, he's scared. Phew, you saved my
00:57:02neck, buddy. Oh, I almost forgot
00:57:04your compensation. You saved my neck, you get
00:57:06something good.
00:57:08You solved the trouble.
00:57:10This is a huge secret, but I gotta get out
00:57:12there. I'm a wanted Goomba.
00:57:14I was a thief in another town, up until about
00:57:16three months ago. Yeah, good one.
00:57:18But then the heat came down, and I needed
00:57:20to hide out, so I came to Rogueport.
00:57:22Now that I told you, you gotta keep it a secret, okay?
00:57:24Heh heh. I am so
00:57:26cool!
00:57:28Alright, if we get 20 coins for each of those,
00:57:30we'll be at 54.
00:57:32So we gotta solve two more troubles, and we're set.
00:57:36So what controversies? Okay,
00:57:38so we gotta say the whole lore.
00:57:40In the original
00:57:42Japanese version of this game,
00:57:44there is a character who is in
00:57:46a, like a, I think it's called like a
00:57:48tokonoko or something. It's a Japanese play on
00:57:50words for basically an effeminate
00:57:52boy, right? So one of the characters
00:57:54looks like a girl, but is really a boy.
00:57:56Nintendo of America, when they
00:57:58localized it in America in 2003,
00:58:00changed the character to just be
00:58:02a girl, so there wouldn't be, like, weird
00:58:04questions to parents like this.
00:58:06Why does that boy look like a girl, mommy?
00:58:08So, you know, this was known for years.
00:58:10People had, like, fan-translated
00:58:12the Japanese. So Nintendo's
00:58:14finally re-releasing the game, right?
00:58:16In the re-release of the
00:58:18game, they have explicitly
00:58:20made the character trans. So the character
00:58:22now has lines about how, like,
00:58:24I'm a boy on the outside, but a girl on the
00:58:26inside, right? Which is not
00:58:28in the original Japanese,
00:58:30even the uncensored Japanese version.
00:58:32The implication of the Japanese version is that
00:58:34Vivian is an effeminate
00:58:36boy who looks effeminate.
00:58:38The new version is tweaked
00:58:40so that Vivian is explicitly
00:58:42trans in ideology, and
00:58:44Nintendo hired a...
00:58:46I think this... I wonder if that was why.
00:58:48Because Nintendo hired a DEI
00:58:50supervisor, so
00:58:52maybe that was why. It was
00:58:54sensitivity training. Alright.
00:58:56So, that was the skinny on it.
00:58:58Let's go to the Trouble Center. This is the
00:59:00censored 2003 GameCube version,
00:59:02by the way.
00:59:04Arfur, Price Adjustment.
00:59:06This is Arfur. I want to open a new shop, but I need
00:59:08help setting my prices. Since I can't go
00:59:10into a competitor's shop, I need some research
00:59:12done. I need the price of fireflowers,
00:59:14sleepy sheep, and tasty tonics
00:59:16in Rogueport. I'll meet you
00:59:18in front of this building to make an exchange.
00:59:20Want to take on Arfur's
00:59:22trouble? Oh, I need a piece of paper. I need a
00:59:24piece of paper because of my shirt. I'll use my phone.
00:59:26Okay. Let's do it. Do it
00:59:28and do it right.
00:59:32That guy.
00:59:34Did you check prices for me?
00:59:36Yes?
00:59:38Perfect. Okay. I'm ready.
00:59:40Oh no! How much are they asking
00:59:42for fireflowers?
00:59:4490 coins!
00:59:48I see.
00:59:50And for sleepy sheep?
00:59:5225 coins!
00:59:56Okay.
00:59:58And how about tasty tonic? How much is that?
01:00:00198 coins!
01:00:04Wow. That's rough.
01:00:06Those are some low prices.
01:00:08I can't believe they're selling
01:00:10that low. Hmm.
01:00:12Even if I try to compete with them, I don't think I can
01:00:14profit. But it is certainly
01:00:16helpful information.
01:00:18Here's your reward!
01:00:20Good work!
01:00:26Imagine going through all that
01:00:28work and then you can just totally
01:00:30half-ass it.
01:00:32You solved the trouble!
01:00:34The Giga Chad doesn't do homework.
01:00:36He just guesses wrong and
01:00:38wins.
01:00:40Ah! I didn't know that!
01:00:42Okay.
01:00:44Goomther. Find this guy.
01:00:46Hey, hey, hey, hey!
01:00:48My name is Goomther.
01:00:50Please find the guy that pulled off
01:00:52credit card fraud on me.
01:00:54I'll be in Rogueport Plaza, so come talk
01:00:56to me. Want to take on Goomther's
01:00:58trouble? Yes. Do it
01:01:00and do it right.
01:01:02Credit card fraud.
01:01:04Ah!
01:01:06Paper Mario
01:01:08tackling the real issues.
01:01:10When are we going to find an NFT scammer?
01:01:14Okay. Goomther.
01:01:16Is that him?
01:01:18Oh, no, no, no.
01:01:22That guy's a local Goomba. He'll give you advice and stuff.
01:01:24So he's okay. Tips totally might come in handy.
01:01:26So you got to talk to him as often as possible.
01:01:28You look like you don't know nothing.
01:01:30So I'll teach you something. How about that?
01:01:32This town, the boss of the Robbos
01:01:34and Don Pianta are in nasty turf war.
01:01:36If you want to live long,
01:01:38you better either choose your side
01:01:40or stay the heck out of it.
01:01:42That's Goomther the Goomba.
01:01:44He's always grumbling about getting ripped off.
01:01:46He must be easy to con.
01:01:48Which isn't to say that we should con him, of course.
01:01:52Hey, you're here to handle my trouble, aren't you?
01:01:54Then listen up. Blossom, the bandit,
01:01:56pulled some credit card fraud on me and took my dough.
01:01:58I want to rough him up for it,
01:02:00but the guy is too wise and I can never catch him.
01:02:02He's hiding somewhere here in Rogueport,
01:02:04so I want you to find him.
01:02:06By the way, bandits are those guys in blue outfits
01:02:08who wear masks.
01:02:10There are several in Rogueport,
01:02:12but this one will fess up once you grill him.
01:02:14Do this, and then you'll get your reward.
01:02:16I'm counting on you.
01:02:18Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Did you find Larson?
01:02:20The guy's on the verge of giving himself up.
01:02:22But don't worry about what he'll do.
01:02:24Just keep after him until you catch him.
01:02:26By the way, bandits are those blue guys, yeah.
01:02:30Even Mario in 2003
01:02:32is under the pinch of
01:02:34bydenomics, yeah.
01:02:36Alright, let's see.
01:02:38He's right here.
01:02:42You got a problem?
01:02:44What are you looking at?
01:02:46Unless you got business with me, scram.
01:02:48What?
01:02:50You want me to return the money I swindled?
01:02:52What are you, the fraud police?
01:02:54Sheesh!
01:02:56I'll let myself get caught.
01:02:58I'll let myself get caught.
01:03:02Oh, but you have to find him again.
01:03:04Yeah, okay.
01:03:10So I have not yet solved the trouble.
01:03:14Is Guy just in here now?
01:03:16I guess there's nothing else in here.
01:03:20Yeah, you just help him out like the one time.
01:03:22Man, I'm so curious.
01:03:24Like, what happens if you don't beat up Gus?
01:03:26Is he your pal after that?
01:03:30I mean, I needed the money, and I wanted the XP.
01:03:48Huh?
01:03:50Did we solve the trouble just by talking to the one guy?
01:03:57Okay, he ran somewhere.
01:03:59So I bet he ran back here.
01:04:01That's what my intuition is telling me.
01:04:13You got some kind of problem?
01:04:15You think you can just barge in my hideout, buddy?
01:04:17You're probably just jealous.
01:04:19No one's snooping around.
01:04:21It's the perfect hideout spot.
01:04:23With all this garbage there, tons of flies and stuff.
01:04:25How'd you come in here?
01:04:27I bet he made this place his hideout.
01:04:29Seems like he totally loves this place.
01:04:31It would have killed him to clean up a bit.
01:04:33Clean your room, eh?
01:04:35Cockroaches?
01:04:37Oh, okay.
01:04:43Okay, so the dude is just hiding somewhere.
01:04:49You have to, like, repeatedly find him.
01:04:51Maybe he's hiding up there.
01:04:54Jersey Shore Mushroom Kingdom.
01:04:56Yeah.
01:04:58My favorite show, says Matt Rees.
01:05:00Where am I going? I'm going this way.
01:05:02Okay.
01:05:04Let's go on up.
01:05:06He's not in here, is he?
01:05:23Blue Stache's belly.
01:05:25Four times it's whacked.
01:05:27Now all the fireworks.
01:05:29Boom and crack.
01:05:31It's a boom buzzer boom festival.
01:05:33Ha ha!
01:05:35What are you doing sneaking up on a person
01:05:37as he sings most jovially?
01:05:39Who, me, you ask about?
01:05:41Ah, I am called Flavio.
01:05:43I am, how you say, a trader.
01:05:45The richest man in Rogueport.
01:05:47A fellow Italian.
01:05:49That's the entrepreneur Flavio.
01:05:51He's, like, super rich.
01:05:53And he owns a lot of ships.
01:05:55What he's doing here so early in the day, though?
01:05:57I think he's doing okay.
01:06:05Can we look at his jewel?
01:06:07And this is the skull stone.
01:06:09The lucky charm of my family.
01:06:11I love you, you sparkly thing.
01:06:13It is so fabulous, I wish to give it
01:06:15a great big kisses.
01:06:17It never leaves my sight.
01:06:19Hmm.
01:06:21Hmm.
01:06:23Hmm.
01:06:25Don't talk to me.
01:06:27My heart's burning from my long lost love.
01:06:29Oh, where's my beloved actress gone?
01:06:31Why did she forsake me?
01:06:33Yes, Fleury was her name.
01:06:35She was skinny and toned,
01:06:37with a voice like an angel.
01:06:39But she left the bright lights behind
01:06:41and went off to live in peace and quiet.
01:06:43Oh, we gotta introduce him.
01:06:45Okay, okay.
01:06:47He actually lives here. He must like it, huh?
01:06:49He's like, the ultimate regular.
01:06:51As far as I can tell, he's recounting
01:06:53the tales of every love of his life,
01:06:55one by one.
01:07:03Long lost love.
01:07:05Oh, where's my beloved actress gone?
01:07:07Why did she forsake me?
01:07:09Yes, Fleury was her name.
01:07:11She was skinny and toned,
01:07:13with a voice like an angel.
01:07:15But she left the bright lights behind
01:07:17and went off to live in peace and quiet.
01:07:19Fleury says nothing.
01:07:21She has no information.
01:07:25Ah, he doesn't recognize her.
01:07:27She gained weight.
01:07:29I used to sail around here
01:07:31and run wild in me younger days.
01:07:33But I'm a reformed sailor now.
01:07:35I used to blow up all the time
01:07:37without paying any heed to what ordinary blokes thought.
01:07:41Who's he?
01:07:43I think he's a bob-omb sailor.
01:07:45I think he comes here every time his ship makes port.
01:07:47I don't blame him.
01:07:49This place has totally cool atmosphere.
01:07:51I'd be a regular, too.
01:07:53Welcome to you and yours.
01:07:55Have a seat.
01:07:57This is Podly's place, a humble little cola shop
01:07:59where folks make stories and drinks.
01:08:01By the by, there's an inn upstairs.
01:08:03When you're weary, go on up and relax.
01:08:05That's the innkeeper, Podly.
01:08:07He looks distinguished, always polishing those glasses.
01:08:09I wouldn't mind having a cold chakola-cola
01:08:11sometime and listen to him talk.
01:08:13He opened this inn a long time ago,
01:08:15so he really knows about the townsfolk.
01:08:17Okay, now chakola-cola is like a big thing
01:08:19in the Mario and Luigi games,
01:08:21so I wonder if it was like a running gag in the Mario games,
01:08:23or...like what?
01:08:25Like, which came first, chicken or the egg?
01:08:27That's Toadsworth,
01:08:29steward of Princess Peach's castle.
01:08:31He's an active senior.
01:08:33He's been really worried since Peach went missing.
01:08:35I hope we can mellow him out.
01:08:37Oh, oh, Master Mario!
01:08:39Haven't you found the princess yet?
01:08:41Please don't waste another moment!
01:08:43You must find the princess! You must!
01:08:45His poor heart.
01:08:47Welcome to the lone refuge
01:08:49in this port of filthiness.
01:08:51Our beds will soothe your soul.
01:08:53It only costs five coins to spend the night.
01:08:55Would you care for a bed? No thanks.
01:08:57Come again?
01:08:59That woman runs the inn. She's sweet and helpful.
01:09:01Unlike most rogue porters.
01:09:03If your HP and FP get too low, come here and
01:09:05get them restored with a night arrest. Okay.
01:09:07Is he up here?
01:09:09Like, hanging out on the roof or something?
01:09:11Hello?
01:09:13No.
01:09:15No.
01:09:17Eh.
01:09:19Okay.
01:09:27Is he, like, hiding in the house?
01:09:31Want me to cook something for you,
01:09:33Mr. Crumbs Clumsy Crush-a-Lot?
01:09:35Oh, what a complete
01:09:37letdown. I thought I could put my skills
01:09:39to the test. What's hilarious is the cook
01:09:41in the first game is, like, super sweet
01:09:43and Zesty never
01:09:45gets off your case. Like, it's clear
01:09:47she likes you. She just will never let you forget
01:09:49you smashed your contact lens.
01:09:53Okay.
01:09:55Where could he be hiding?
01:10:01Is that him?
01:10:03I bet that's him.
01:10:07Cripes! The fraud police!
01:10:09You don't give up easy, do ya? You can't make me
01:10:11pay!
01:10:17Now is he up there?
01:10:19Man, they make you work for this one.
01:10:27Two?
01:10:29Hey, hey, uh, Goobella!
01:10:31What does this lever do?
01:10:47Matt re-says atmosphere
01:10:49in scare quotes in reference to
01:10:51Podwy's place, I think.
01:10:53Okay, he's not here.
01:10:57Not behind here.
01:11:02That's him.
01:11:04Cripes!
01:11:06The fraud police!
01:11:08Shoot, you're serious.
01:11:10Fine.
01:11:12I'm a man. Do with me as you will.
01:11:16Hey, hey, hey, hey!
01:11:18Looks like you caught him. Nice. Here's your reward.
01:11:2020 coins.
01:11:22So, since it looks like you're all out of dough,
01:11:24I'll take it out of your hide.
01:11:26No, please!
01:11:32You solved
01:11:34the trouble!
01:11:36That man is dead!
01:11:49I'm looking for the guy who
01:11:51brought me the fake credit card the other day.
01:11:53Did you find that jerk? Give him a thumping for me.
01:11:55Did you get him again?
01:11:57I mean, it's kinda cool that you actually
01:11:59ended up solving that problem
01:12:01that was mentioned, but...
01:12:03Okay, now I'm curious.
01:12:05Is he just dead?
01:12:07I'm pulling another card trick today
01:12:09and making tons of loot!
01:12:11But somebody started tailing me, so I came here
01:12:13to hide out for a while.
01:12:15Don't tell anyone you saw me here or I'll conk you.
01:12:17We've created a time loop.
01:12:19We're the ones who caught him
01:12:21and then we're the ones who solve the trouble
01:12:23and catch him again, leading him to
01:12:25pull another card trick on the same idiot
01:12:27and wait for somebody to catch him.
01:12:29All right, all right.
01:12:31Let's go get our reward.
01:12:3374. We can afford it!
01:12:35All right, all right, all right.
01:12:37Well, then, here's the dumb thing.
01:12:39Why don't I just save,
01:12:41talk to him, and then reset?
01:12:43That's the good old trick, right?
01:12:49The cheap-ass save scum.
01:12:57I actually don't think
01:12:59I won't save scum that way.
01:13:01If there's flavor text, I'll get it.
01:13:03I'll make my money
01:13:05the old-fashioned way.
01:13:07What?
01:13:09You've got to be kidding me.
01:13:11Am I hearing you right?
01:13:13I could have sworn you said
01:13:15you really want me to tell you
01:13:17how to meet Don Piano,
01:13:19the scum of the earth.
01:13:21Oh, yes.
01:13:23Don Piano,
01:13:25the scum of the earth.
01:13:29No budget on the price, not a single coin.
01:13:31Inside info is pricey,
01:13:33then it's the price. Okay, I'll pay.
01:13:35You'll pay? Really?
01:13:37Yeah, you heard me.
01:13:41Yes! I mean,
01:13:43good call. You're a shrew
01:13:45businessman. 64 coins
01:13:47on the nose.
01:13:49Okay, then. Clean those ears out
01:13:51and listen here. There's a parlor
01:13:53in the west part of town
01:13:55that's run by that worm, Don Piano.
01:13:57Go to the store next to the parlor.
01:13:59Buy a dried shroom
01:14:01and a dizzy dial.
01:14:03Make sure you buy them in that order.
01:14:05Dried shroom,
01:14:07dizzy dial. Got that?
01:14:09You do that, and the shopkeeper
01:14:11is going to ask you what your favorite color is.
01:14:13You answer, yellow.
01:14:15You got that? Not green.
01:14:17Not blue. Yellow.
01:14:19Hear me?
01:14:21See, yellow is the password
01:14:23for getting into Don Scumbag's
01:14:25oh-so-comfy office.
01:14:27You got all that? No.
01:14:29There's a parlor
01:14:31in your way, blah, blah, blah, blah,
01:14:33blah, blah, blah, blah. Yellow.
01:14:37And then he repeats it.
01:14:39That's good.
01:14:45And what would you have said if I said yes?
01:14:47Would you have said, all right, then get going?
01:14:49It's curious, right? Like, they have to write
01:14:51dialogue for every aspect of the game,
01:14:53and it all has to be in character.
01:14:59People think Toby Fox is a madman
01:15:01who thinks of everything.
01:15:03This is where he got his inspiration
01:15:05for putting flavor text everywhere.
01:15:07All right, all right, so...
01:15:09Do I have enough money?
01:15:11Maybe I will.
01:15:13Save scum.
01:15:15How do you save scum?
01:15:17Hold on a second.
01:15:19How do you quit?
01:15:23Oh, I won't. Whatever.
01:15:29It's a question of whether I want
01:15:31to do a bunch of boring grinding
01:15:33for coins, essentially. But if I've got enough,
01:15:35I'll just do it now.
01:15:39I need enough for a dizzy dial
01:15:41and a shroom.
01:15:43I do not have enough.
01:15:45I'm just going to reset.
01:15:55And I'm 64 coins richer, just like that.
01:16:15Okay, let's try that again.
01:16:37I'm pretty sure if you knew the trick,
01:16:39or you remembered it from the last time,
01:16:41then you could skip that whole chunk,
01:16:43chunk, right? Which is a nice little perk.
01:16:51It's gonna be two coins for that dried shroom. Care to buy it, cutie? Hey sweetie,
01:16:57looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Bummer! I'll sell you something
01:17:01after you sell or store some of your things, okay? Hi there, cutie! Welcome to
01:17:06Westside Goods! Alrighty. Anything else you want to store, cutie pie? Mushrooms. What
01:17:21is it? 5 FP, 10 FP, gradual syrup. Makes allies recover FP gradually for a
01:17:28brief period. Let's see. Slow shroom. Another regular mushroom. Okay. Ooh, I'm gonna want to
01:17:41buy one of those sooner or later. Dried shroom. Okay. Dried shroom. Aw, thanks, sugar! Dizzy
01:17:50Dial. Gonna be 12 coins for that Dizzy Dial. Care to buy it, cutie? Aw, thanks, sugar! Yeah,
01:17:59yeah. Here we go. Alrighty, mister. What color is your mustache? Blash? Oops, what's wrong with
01:18:08me? That wasn't the right question at all! Let's try this again. Ahem. Okay, mister. What's your
01:18:14favorite color? Yellow. Uh-huh. Well, you check out. You know the password. So, um, you must be
01:18:21an acquaintance of Don Pianta. Good for you. Imagine if you said yellow to what color is
01:18:29your mustache, and then you got the color wrong. You can go through the door. Go on with your bad
01:18:35self! Ha, ha, ha! Hi there, cutie. Alright. Ooh, boy. Hey, this is the office of the Piñata
01:18:56Si- Pianta. I always get that wrong. Pianta Syndicate. Don't tell me you don't know that!
01:19:02That's Vinnie of the Piantas. Uh, that guy there is his brother, Tony. They're super tight. They
01:19:09live for their boss. Seriously, they'll put their lives on the line for him. What's with you,
01:19:15wise guy? I ain't too jolly today. If you got a beef, spit it out quick, or this is gonna hurt.
01:19:22Excuse me? You want to- you want to get me to give you a ticket for the blimp? See now,
01:19:30to me, that's funny. You stand up comedian? No. You ought to be. You got some nerve asking me for
01:19:38that. I'm Don Pianta. I make crime babies weak. You want I should run this bum out on a rail,
01:19:45boss? Look at him. What a rube. You must like pain, funny guy. You just looking for trouble
01:19:52or what? Not so fast, boys. I like this kid's gumption. He just came to talk, no? That ain't
01:19:59crime. So we talk. You boys can wait till we're done before you rough him up. You got it? So I
01:20:06gotta assume you got a reason for wanting a ticket for the blimp. Out with it. What's that? You want
01:20:14to help me? You want to help some broad who got herself kidnapped? And to rescue this dame,
01:20:19you're out collecting the crystal stars. The crystal stars? Hey, boss, ain't those things
01:20:25in that legend about the ancient treasure? Vinny, you're such a dope. Hey, boss,
01:20:30this knucklehead believes in fairytales. Fairytale nothing. That treasure's real.
01:20:36Everybody just shot it. I don't care if the treasure is real or not, get me? But I tell you,
01:20:44I can't help but like a guy who wants to rescue some scotty fell for. I've made my decision. You
01:20:51do me a little favor and you get your blimp ticket. Sounds fair, right? Wait, what's the
01:20:58favor? It's easy. It's nothing. It's less than nothing. See the thing is, my own daughter eloped
01:21:06with one of my young associates. They vanished, but it wasn't too long ago that they did. They
01:21:13ought to still be nearby. You gotta go find my daughter, Francesca and this Frankie and bring
01:21:20them both here. If you are unable to bring them here, then all you gotta do is tell me where they
01:21:26are. Then I shall settle this matter quickly and with what is known as extreme prejudice. Boss,
01:21:34we don't know nothing about this guy. You can't rely on some goofball for this job. Yeah, boss,
01:21:42Vinny's right. Leave it to us to find Francesca. Why are you? It's cause you logs can't find her
01:21:49and I gotta swallow my pride and ask this guy. I hope you dopes ain't making complaints about my
01:21:55decision. You making complaints? No boss. Whatever you say goes, boss. I don't know what I was
01:22:02thinking, boss. It won't happen again, boss. You're the boss, boss. Good. I'm glad we're all
01:22:09full of understanding for one another. So it's settled, yeah? Find my daughter and her friend.
01:22:16Then come see me. Francesca and Frankie look like this. I am going to manifest the picture
01:22:23into your mind. Kaboom! And just so we're clear here, if you don't find my daughter,
01:22:29your luck may turn terrible. Are we clear on this point? If you don't find my daughter,
01:22:36your luck may be turned terrible. That's Tony of the Piantas. That guy there is his brother,
01:22:43Vinnie. They're super tight. Oh, she just mixes it up. Tony's a wise guy. He doesn't
01:22:47mind mixing it up, if you know what I mean. Is it the exact same?
01:22:57So it is different. That's the boss, Don Pianta. It's true what they say about power. This guy's
01:23:03got poise. He's got a mean streak a mile wide. They call him the Don of Untimely Death. Still,
01:23:10he's got a really soft spot for his daughter, Francesca.
01:23:35What's this kid say? I almost fell down that grate. Man, that was close. I know where that
01:23:40thing leads to, too. All too well, and I don't want to go there. That's the neighborhood kid.
01:23:45He seems to like going out and exploring new places. He does seem to have a gripe
01:23:48about his family. I wonder what it is. Huh, alright. Going to the theater is like my hobby
01:23:57or something. I mean, the reason I like the drama so much is because I live in a town like this.
01:24:02It hasn't been as fun lately since my favorite actress left the stage for good. It's torture
01:24:06for fans like me. That's a toad from the west side. She's a big theater goer, and apparently,
01:24:11she's also a raving fan of Fleurie's. Let's try this. Does she recognize her? Oh my gosh,
01:24:20oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Madame Fleurie! Eek! I'm such a huge fan! I can't believe I saw you here!
01:24:29Nice touch. Okay.
01:24:31So they should be by the port. I'm gonna light, I'm gonna light a, I've had Goombella out for a
01:24:35while, so let's have Madame Fleurie out for a bit. Or Koops, I haven't had Koops out in a while.
01:24:54Ha! Just a mouse. Hey, you're Mario. Wow, this is so cool. I never thought I'd meet a celebrity
01:25:03out here. Oh, I know if you want to make an investment, Mario. My name's Lumpy, and I'm
01:25:09heading out to Dry Dry Desert to prospect for oil. I've lived my life hoping to get rich quick,
01:25:14and now my chance has come. But I still don't have enough startup funds. Could you please
01:25:19lend me some money? I'm accepting initial investments of 100 coins or more. No way,
01:25:24bub. Fine, whatever. Be that way. I don't remember this guy. You came again. Oil and strike it rich.
01:25:34I'll lend you cash. You're poorer than I am. I'm trying to remember if it actually does anything.
01:25:40Dry Dry Desert? Because Dry Dry Desert isn't in this game. No matter how much I work,
01:25:46it seems like I'll never get filthy rich. Of course, I ain't got a choice. Gotta work to live,
01:25:51which means huff, woof, huff, woof, huff. Right away, you duck rat. Move your stinking self.
01:25:58He's a cool pirate, but he's also a wage slave. Inside you, there are two bob-ombs.
01:26:09Oh, hold on. We might want to... Well, I won't use her tattle yet. I'll approach them with Koops
01:26:14in case they, like, yell at me. Yes. Hey, back off, you creep. You want something, or you just,
01:26:23like, slide silent up to people? What? Daddy asked you to find us and take us to him? Frankie,
01:26:32what should we do if Daddy finds us now? Oh, I don't know, and the boat's coming any minute.
01:26:38Dullface, maybe we ought to head back and try to talk to the boss one more time.
01:26:43No, Frankie, don't say that. Don't you know what he'll do to you if we do that?
01:26:48Francesca, baby doll, if we can just talk calm-like with the boss, he'll understand.
01:26:54Oh, Frankie, my Frankie, don't you love me? Of course I love you, sugar cookie,
01:26:59more than anybody in the whole world. Then let's go, Frankie. Let's run to the ends of the earth
01:27:05if we have to. But, Butterbiscuit, they already found us out. We can't keep running forever.
01:27:11We can, Frankie. The more you try to put out the flames of love, the hotter they burn.
01:27:18Until I marry you, no one will extinguish these flames of passion. No one.
01:27:24Don't you see, mister? I beg you, pretend you never saw us. Can you do that? Of course,
01:27:30Sniff. No way, Sobsister. I'm gonna be a dick on this run. No way, Sobsister.
01:27:38What did you say to me? You terrible, terrible man. Fine, have it your way,
01:27:43but we won't go with you. Never. I won't move from this spot.
01:27:48No, bug off. I'm not going anywhere with you.
01:27:54Oh, what am I gonna do with this crazy game?
01:28:02A whole little drama unfolding before my eyes.
01:28:06That's Francesca's boyfriend, Frankie. He's the future of the Piñata Syndicate.
01:28:10Hard to believe, isn't it? He's still the number two guy after Don Pianta.
01:28:15You'd think he'd be this tough guy, but Francesca has him eating out of her hand.
01:28:23That's Francesca, the Piñata. She's well-connected, get me? Her dad's a big boss.
01:28:29She doesn't crave money or power or anything like that, though. She lives for love.
01:28:33Doesn't that, like, totally melt your heart? People could learn from this girl. She's romantic.
01:28:52What should we do, Mario? We have to, uh, tell Don... We have to at least tell Don
01:28:57Pianta something, but that stuff about our luck turned terrible didn't sound all that appetizing.
01:29:03So, uh, I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:06I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:08I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:10I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:12I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:14I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:16I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:18I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:20I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:22I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:24I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:26I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:28I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:30I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:32I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:34I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:36I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:38I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:40I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:42I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:44I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:46I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:48I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:50I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:52I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:54I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:56I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:29:58I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:00I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:02I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:04I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:06I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:08I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:10I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:12I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:14I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:16I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:18I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:20I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:22I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:24I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:26I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:28I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:30I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:32I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:34I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:36I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:38I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:40I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:42I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:44I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:46I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:48I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:50I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:52I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:54I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:56I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:30:58I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:00I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:02I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:04I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:06I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:08I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:10I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:12I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:14I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:16I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:18I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:20I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:22I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:24I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:26I don't know. Maybe we should just tell Don Pianta something?
01:31:28It's my responsibility! All the blame is right here!
01:31:30It's my responsibility! All the blame is right here!
01:31:32Daddy! Boss!
01:31:34Enough! Quiet both of you!
01:31:36Enough! Quiet both of you!
01:31:38Francesca, my headstrong daughter, you used up your last favor long ago!
01:31:40Francesca, my headstrong daughter, you used up your last favor long ago!
01:31:42Francesca, my headstrong daughter, you used up your last favor long ago!
01:31:44Francesca, my headstrong daughter, you used up your last favor long ago!
01:31:46And you Frankie, you were like a son to me!
01:31:48And you Frankie, you were like a son to me!
01:31:50This is how you repay your debt to Don Pianta!
01:31:52I feel such disappointment in you two!
01:31:54It's like a poison shroom in my gut!
01:31:56It's like a poison shroom in my gut!
01:31:58Daddy! Boss!
01:32:00I don't ever want to see your mugs again, you hear me?
01:32:02I don't ever want to see your mugs again, you hear me?
01:32:04Get out of my sight, both of you!
01:32:06I don't care where, just go!
01:32:08That's what you expected me to say, huh?
01:32:10That's what you expected me to say, huh?
01:32:12Well that's what I'm saying! Go! Do what you want!
01:32:14Even if it means getting married!
01:32:16Oh Daddy!
01:32:18Dad!
01:32:20No wait, I mean Boss!
01:32:22Thank you so much Daddy!
01:32:24Thanks for your blessing!
01:32:26Boss, I'll make your daughter a happy woman, I promise you!
01:32:28Boss, I'll make your daughter a happy woman, I promise you!
01:32:30She'll want for nothing!
01:32:32Enough already, just go! Go!
01:32:34Sniff!
01:32:36Francesca, seeing you this happy
01:32:38Francesca, seeing you this happy
01:32:40makes me happy too!
01:32:42Congrats, both of you!
01:32:44Frankie, this is great!
01:32:46It ain't quite what I promised, but hey!
01:32:48Things, uh, ain't quite what I promised,
01:32:50but hey, things turned out okay, am I right?
01:32:52But hey, things turned out okay, am I right?
01:32:54Goodbye Daddy, farewell, and thank you!
01:32:56Goodbye Daddy, farewell, and thank you!
01:32:58Goodbye Daddy, farewell, and thank you!
01:33:00You still here?
01:33:02Well you found my daughter and got her to come back here!
01:33:04Well you found my daughter and got her to come back here!
01:33:06And just look at how things turned out!
01:33:08What a complete and utter soap opera!
01:33:10But hey, a deal's a deal!
01:33:12You can have your blimp ticket, like I said!
01:33:14You can have your blimp ticket, like I said!
01:33:16You got a blimp ticket!
01:33:18A ticket to the airship that travels to Glitzville!
01:33:20Who knew? That guy's got a smilin' ear to ear!
01:33:22Who knew? That guy's got a smilin' ear to ear!
01:33:24She's happy! That's good!
01:33:26Hey, I knew you were the right man for the job!
01:33:28Thanks a bunch, pally!
01:33:32But I don't wanna see that gloomy face of yours no more!
01:33:34But I don't wanna see that gloomy face of yours no more!
01:33:36Don't ever come back here!
01:33:38I gave you your ticket, bub!
01:33:40So hurry up and scram a lamb!
01:33:42Good luck finding that game!
01:33:50Because the boss is who he is,
01:33:52he can't let people see his sensitive side, you know.
01:33:54he can't let people see his sensitive side, you know.
01:33:56he can't let people see his sensitive side, you know.
01:33:58But just between you and us,
01:34:00you made him real happy,
01:34:02and he's real thankful.
01:34:04No matter what he says,
01:34:06the boss was actually worried about Francesca.
01:34:08the boss was actually worried about Francesca.
01:34:10Ha ha ha! He's a sundere, mob boss!
01:34:12Ha ha ha! He's a sundere, mob boss!
01:34:20Yay! Awesome! We did it!
01:34:22Yay! Awesome! We did it!
01:34:24Yay! Awesome! We did it!
01:34:26Now we can go to Glitzville!
01:34:28Now we can go to Glitzville!
01:34:30Oh, you got an email.
01:34:32Oh, you got an email.
01:34:38Coopley? Okay.
01:34:40What is RDM?
01:34:42What is RDM?
01:34:44What is RDM?
01:34:48Okay, hold on. I want to see this.
01:34:50Okay, hold on. I want to see this.
01:34:52RDM, Premier Issue, Rogueport Today.
01:34:54Bring you all the up-to-the-moment news
01:34:56Bring you all the up-to-the-moment news
01:34:58as it happens. We now have details of yet another
01:35:00incident at the Pollard and West Rogueport.
01:35:02Outraged by the high Pianta prices,
01:35:04Goomfrey, age 30, is suspected of
01:35:06violently shaking the Pianta
01:35:08changer, age 5,
01:35:10causing the Pianta changer's
01:35:12arm to sound, which led to the Pianta
01:35:14changer ceasing to function for a brief
01:35:16period. The parlor was forced to close
01:35:18down temporarily. The victim was
01:35:20quoted as saying, I am a machine
01:35:22no matter how hard I am shook.
01:35:24I feel no pain.
01:35:26Shop Reporter Go
01:35:28Get all the hottest shopping
01:35:30news about all the hottest shopping spots in the
01:35:32world. If
01:35:34Petalburg's your destination, you can't
01:35:36miss the shop that's been the talk of the town
01:35:38for the past 20 years.
01:35:40Nifty's Shop. The friendly owner
01:35:42has long been thought to be the most eligible
01:35:44bachelor in town. The word is, he's secretly
01:35:46in love with a girl.
01:35:48At the inn,
01:35:50the wise and witty shopkeeper had this to
01:35:52say, you only live once,
01:35:54so enjoy it while you can. Shop now
01:35:56at good old Nifty's Shop.
01:35:58Okay, that was the guy.
01:36:00Cooking for rookies, interested in cooking but don't know what
01:36:02to cook? Try our chef's delicious suggestions.
01:36:04Today's yummy recipe,
01:36:06fried shrooms. Just season
01:36:08your mushrooms, sauté them up,
01:36:10and they're ready for you at the dinner table.
01:36:12Editor's note, we hope you enjoyed RDM's
01:36:14premiere issue. You can look forward to future
01:36:16editions coming your way soon.
01:36:18Published by the Rogueport Restoration Committee.
01:36:22Coopley, how's life?
01:36:24Now who is Coopley?
01:36:26Let's see here.
01:36:28Is Coopley one of the characters from the old
01:36:30games or do we meet him in one of the levels?
01:36:32Mario! Coops! How are you boys doing?
01:36:34Oh, that's the old guy. Okay, okay.
01:36:36I'm just amazed.
01:36:38I had no idea a machine like this could be used to
01:36:40send messages. Technology?
01:36:42Wow, I'm doing great.
01:36:44Drinking fresh spring water,
01:36:46picking wildflowers, polishing my shell.
01:36:48The town seems
01:36:50so boring ten years ago,
01:36:52but I see the world differently now.
01:36:54I bet you'll like Petalburg more than you
01:36:56used to once you get back from your
01:36:58adventure, Coops. So where are you headed
01:37:00next? I want you to see the
01:37:02barbed world, son. Oh, it's
01:37:04just his dad. It'll be good for you. Okay, so
01:37:06I thought it was the old Coop
01:37:08guy, but no, it's just
01:37:10his dad. It was middle-aged.
01:37:12Son, it'll be good for you, but don't go
01:37:14too far past that front door.
01:37:16Ah ha ha ha from Coopley.
01:37:18Aw, he sent a message to his
01:37:20son after all those years.
01:37:22Well, does
01:37:24he react to it? I don't think he does.
01:37:26You just
01:37:28have to infer that they read
01:37:30it to Coops.
01:37:34Alright,
01:37:36let's get to the next spot.
01:37:38And we'll
01:37:40call it there.
01:37:46Okay.
01:37:48This blimp goes
01:37:50to Glitzville. Will you be joining us on our flight
01:37:52today? No. We look forward
01:37:54to your next flight on Cheap Blimps.
01:37:56Yes.
01:37:58Ah, please allow me to check your boarding
01:38:00pass.
01:38:02Then please watch your step as you step
01:38:04aboard.
01:38:10Oh yeah, I have my
01:38:12lifelong dream to become a professional
01:38:14wrestler.
01:38:32...
01:38:34...
01:38:36...
01:38:38...
01:38:40...
01:38:42...
01:38:44Chapter 3!
01:38:46...
01:38:48...
01:38:50Okay, this is a remix of one of the old songs.
01:38:52I don't know exactly what game
01:38:54it's from off the top of my head.
01:38:56Dadadadadadadadadadadadadada
01:38:58Oh yeah. I'm sorry, I'm not
01:39:00that much of a Mario artist. I can just name
01:39:02drop all the music.
01:39:04...
01:39:06...
01:39:08...
01:39:10...
01:39:12...
01:39:14...
01:39:16...
01:39:18...
01:39:20...
01:39:22...
01:39:24...
01:39:26...
01:39:28...
01:39:30...
01:39:32Nice budget saver.
01:39:34It's only 2D. They don't have to animate it in 3D.
01:39:36Oh, maybe they do when you land.
01:39:38...
01:39:40...
01:39:42...
01:39:44...
01:39:46...
01:39:48...
01:39:50Blitzville!
01:39:52...
01:39:54...
01:39:56...
01:39:58...
01:40:00...
01:40:02...
01:40:04Yeah, this would be Blitzville, alright.
01:40:06How did they make it float?
01:40:08I mean it has never, you know,
01:40:10plunged from the sky or anything has it?
01:40:12...
01:40:14...
01:40:16...
01:40:18"...
01:40:20...
01:40:22...
01:40:24Crystal Star, huh, Mario? I know I'm ready.
01:40:29This Cheat Blimp is bound for the town of Rogueport. Would you like to board? No.
01:40:34What was that?
01:40:36You know, you have a choice of dirigibles, so we thank you for flying Cheat Blimps.
01:40:40Ha ha! But we don't have a choice of dirigibles!
01:40:44Alright. I am not gonna explore a ton tonight. It's getting late. We're gonna save, and we will start fresh with Glitzville next time.
01:40:53I'm no more Marmaduke fan. Love you guys. I will catch you later.