• 4 months ago
I hate you all.

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Transcript
00:00Hello, I'm Adam Hailing from PartsFunKnown and this time we're talking about ECW, ECW,
00:07ECW.
00:08I hope you're all having an EXTREME Christmas, God bless the 90s, weren't they terrible.
00:14In 2006, WWE exhumed the corpse of ECW, the little promotion with more attitude than Sonic
00:20the Hedgehog, X-Force and the Shawshank Redemption combined, 90s EXTREME.
00:26After the wild success of ECW One Night Stand 2005, essentially a school reunion piss-up
00:32for divorced dads and something about JBL and the Blue Meanie, WWE thought there's
00:37money in that Tha Nostalgia and brought ECW back as its own official third brand, including
00:43a weekly TV show on SyFy with ECW visionary and not always fiscally reliable employer
00:49Paul Heyman at the helm.
00:51Five years after the smarkiest, most vocally supported promotion shut its doors, suddenly
00:57it was back.
00:59RVD was its combination ECW and WWE champion and all your favourites were making their
01:05return.
01:06The Sandman, Sabu, the FBI, Just Incredible, The Zombie, Balls Guy and not many more.
01:16Fans were overjoyed, One Night Stands 05 and 06 had been two of the freshest feeling shows
01:21that WWE had put out in years.
01:22Raucous events of beer swilling, barbed wire, wrapped excess which openly pitted ECW fans
01:29against WWE superstars, like it was actually crazy at the time, WWE were the villains,
01:34they knew they were the villains and they played up to it.
01:37That was so cool.
01:38People thought, oh wow, this new ECW brand was going to be more like that, more classic
01:42EC-dub as a concussion tinged palate cleanser to the corporately curated thug life gloss
01:47of hustle, loyalty and sports entertainment.
01:51Unfortunately, WWE ECW was a gigantic pile of s***, it was just like WWE's rebellious
01:59son but after it had finally given up protesting and got a job in its dad's business, wearing
02:05a suit but with the tie slightly undone and the top button open, ooh yeah, get you and
02:11absolutely I'll get you those photocopies Mr Swenson but not before I copy some gig
02:16posters for my band.
02:17What's this?
02:18The rules, shame if someone were to bend them, in the new ECW, all the matches defaulted
02:24to having normal rules with DQs, literally the opposite of ECW's one defining trait,
02:31its biggest USP.
02:32Like I get it, hardcore is going to burn itself out and it shouldn't be the be all and end
02:36all of a thriving brand going into 2010 but for f*** sake, it's a nostalgia act, it's
02:40like bringing Freddie Mercury back to life, getting Queen back together and saying yeah,
02:44awesome, welcome back Fred.
02:46But could you guys just play Roger Taylor's new stuff, you'll love it, it's mostly
02:50drums.
02:51No Raven, no Rhino, no Mike Awesome, no Mikey Whipwreck, no BWO, no cool Japanese stars,
02:57no cool Lucha stars and the biggest omission of them all, no f***ing ECW fans, it's insane
03:04to me.
03:05The way they shot ECW was they took it on tour with Smackdown so instead of Velocity
03:09or whatever web exclusive show that no one watches, yep, they filmed ECW in a big arena
03:14full of largely mainstream WWE fans before Smackdown so yeah, everyone was just waiting
03:18for Smackdown to start and patiently waiting for the weird guy who looks like Sick Boy
03:22from Trainspotting's alcoholic dad to stop hitting a zombie with a stick so you can get
03:26to the blue show.
03:28The single biggest feather in ECW's cap, the secret to the success of the first two
03:32one night stands, an intimate setting crammed with passionate, full-throated fans who believe
03:38it is their mission from God to recognise and get over every single aspect of their
03:42favourite wrestlers pissed away.
03:45Watching the Sandman make his entrance to Not At All Metallica, walking through the
03:50audience who instead of clinging to him like he's their cigarette-smoking messiah, lean
03:54away because he looks sketch and then they whisper to their child wearing a Rey Mysterio
03:59mask, who's that?
04:00It's the saddest thing in the f***ing world.
04:04Even Kurt Angle, who yes, was as anti-ECW as you can get having famously walked out
04:08of one of their shows back in the 90s, was at least respected enough by the ECW faithful
04:13to lead the brand, but he saw the move as this huge demotion, he bottomed out mentally
04:18and physically and demanded his release from the entire company.
04:22Then Ronald Van Donald was caught giving a ride to a delightful woman called Mary Jane
04:27and was stripped of both the WWE and ECW titles within a week, the WWE title to Edge who helped
04:32him win the thing in the first f***ing place, and the ECW championship to The Big Show.
04:40The Big Show, well, it's The Big Show, Mr ECW, that's how you want to start isn't
04:47it, by plopping one of your bollocks in your fan's beer and saying oh, I'm really working
04:52you, look at all this great heat loosing two thirds of your audience in the first two years.
04:59But don't ever fear, better ECW champions would come along after the Bog Show, Bubbles
05:03Lashlord, Old Man McHam, Mork Hangry, Gravel Chorizo, Mort Hardly and Christian Scott Thomas,
05:12also CM Punk for a bit fair enough and Tommy Dreamer for like, a month, Tommy Dreamer being
05:17the only ECW original to carry the title other than Ronald.
05:20ECW had only one pay-per-view of its own called December to Dismember and apparently it was
05:25really, really, really, really good.
05:27Nope, wait, sorry, I'm reading this upside down.
05:30It was s***.
05:31Only two matches announced ahead of time taking place just after Survivor Series, so everyone's
05:35already spent a packet on a Big 4 pay-per-view and have no money left for Christmas, and
05:39the main event was ECW Champion Extreme Big Show losing the belt in a chamber match to
05:45new ECW Champion Extreme Bobby Lashley after Sabu was removed for the match he'd started,
05:51and CM Punk and RVD were s*** canned, numbers 1 and 3.
05:55It still has the record for lowest bought pay-per-view before The Network, everyone
05:59hated it, it's voted many, many times the worst pay-per-view of all time, they chanted
06:04for refunds during the show itself, and after the show Paul Heyman and Vince, who by the
06:08way forced through the Bobby Lashley booking, they got into an altercation which ended with
06:12Heyman being fired, and that's just the end of 2006, you know, the year it was created.
06:17ECW limped on, eventually just becoming the third most important version of Raw on TV,
06:22which is the worst thing you can say about a TV program, before eventually becoming a
06:25sort of proto-NXT with its Superstar initiative, working as a feeding system to the main roster
06:32by introducing indie stars, young talented hopefuls to a wider audience before their
06:38move to the big leagues, which is ironically the most actually ECW thing it ever did.
06:45But you know, without all the hardcore fans who knew all these new guys were.
06:49Vince gleefully cancelled it in 2010, replaced it with Game Show NXT, which was somehow even
06:56worse, until eventually from a mountain of s*** grew one singular rose, which is NXT
07:03we know today.
07:04WWE, ECW is one of the saddest tales in WWE history.
07:13Let me have a go.
07:18Like oh my d*** and balls.
07:21Okay, where to begin.
07:22First of all, I'm going to start by laying out a format for ECW, generally how should
07:27the film, the general do's and definitely do not's, then take you through a calendar
07:31year of ECW programming to basically give you an idea of how to carry out these things
07:35in practice.
07:36First of all, this is not an invasion angle.
07:41I know that's what you want.
07:43I know it.
07:44Look at me.
07:45Stop it.
07:46Okay.
07:47Like, yes, I get some of the upsides.
07:48The idea of using Raw and Smackdown to promote ECW, the special episode that did WWE vs ECW
07:54head to head was a big ratings hit and the one night stand shows were sold on this atmosphere
07:59of f*** you WWE.
08:01We won't do what you tell us, but also thanks very much for paying for all of this.
08:06We got you a basket of muffins to say thanks, but we've eaten some of them because we're
08:11extreme.
08:12You can use main roster WWE occasionally for like pay-per-views and stuff, but ECW needs
08:17to be its own thing.
08:19If you constantly use proper stars, it's going to make ECW seem dependent on them.
08:23You're going to burn out your ECW fans because the constant anti-WWE narrative is going to
08:28run out quickly because again, WWE is paying for all of this and you run the risk of pissing
08:33off your family audience and that is not nothing.
08:36So no, no invasion, no big show ripping off his t-shirt to reveal that for some reason
08:41he really likes ECW all of a sudden because I don't know, he wants to transition more
08:45denim jorts into his wardrobe.
08:47None of that.
08:48Leave ECW to be its own thing because this is the show you're making.
08:53Next, WWE just buy the ECW arena f*** sake.
08:58It looks like this, you can afford it.
09:01Think of it as paying off what you owe ECW after buying all their names, likenesses and
09:05copyrights for next to nothing back in 2001.
09:08Buy the arena, move a production crew out there and turn it into your extreme full sale.
09:13Now, I'm not going to lie.
09:14There's going to be more than one comparison to NXT in this booking because like we are
09:18essentially talking about how WWE should book a small, incredibly popular, rabid fan base
09:25led promotion populated by indie stars with a style of wrestling that fans find way more
09:30satisfactory.
09:31So much so they can't believe that WWE actually owns the company and the promotion they're
09:36supporting.
09:37Like WWE, WWE have done this.
09:39It took them three goes, but they did it already.
09:43So ECW takes place out of one venue with its own crew and roster, cheaper to run weekly
09:48that way with a Philly fan base that would literally die for this brand.
09:52And again, the main selling point in an ECW rebrand is the fans.
09:56They are what make the initial shows fun.
10:00As much as you hate to give smart fans this much credit, and I do, ECW fans are part of
10:07the ECW roster.
10:09Second of all, you're going to have to pay more to grab up more ECW stars.
10:13You cannot launch a brand on Tommy Dreamer alone, as much as he would very much like
10:19that.
10:20So bring back Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu and Balls, yes, bring in Balls, use RVD, but also pay
10:26to get Tajiri.
10:28Bring over the Mexicals.
10:30They had Super Crazy and Psychosis on Smackdown and never used them.
10:33Guys, Mike Awesome, pay off, if you can, the TNA contracts of guys like Rhyno, you can
10:39do it.
10:40They're not being paid as much as in WWE.
10:42And Raven, especially Raven, if you could only get one, Raven is the most important
10:47one to this booking.
10:48I mean, in January 2006, TNA actually wrote Raven off TV, firing him on pay-per-view.
10:54I mean, like, come on.
10:56So yes, it's a lot of money for a lot of guys whose best in-ring days are probably
11:01behind them.
11:02But here's the thing, you have to know from the outset that twatting people with baking
11:06trays and old stars isn't going to make a sustainable brand, insert shot of WCW.
11:12Nostalgia fades and the mainstream appetite for hardcore wrestling is going to dwindle
11:16the further away we get from the 90s.
11:18But by giving the faithful audience what they want in the beginning, which is basically
11:23to be young again at a classic ECW show, then you buy their loyalty for what comes
11:28next.
11:29See, ECW is an engine initially fueled by nostalgia, and you have to get the engine
11:34running and slowly siphon the fuel out and replace it with something better, more sustainable
11:40without your hardcore fans noticing or with their blessing, because they now trust that
11:45you have their entertainment as a priority.
11:47Isn't it mad to be a fan of a promotion that likes you back?
11:50Isn't that weird?
11:51The project for the first year is to get new ECW stars over.
11:55WWE sort of tried this in ECW's earliest days with the new breed, but made literally
12:02the same mistake as WCW did with their new blood thing.
12:05WWE had a bunch of older stars with a bunch of big name recognition star power like Sting,
12:09Luger, Hogan, Flair, but not as much shelf life left in the ring or in the main event.
12:13And then they had this bunch of hungry young competitors.
12:16But they also then turned all those hungry young competitors heel against the face legends,
12:21so they were never going to get over exactly the same thing in ECW, the new breed.
12:27I mean, it's exactly the same against the ECW originals, which is a shame because the
12:32guy who led the new breed, Elijah Burke, was a great character.
12:35He's super charismatic.
12:37He's rather stiff as CM Punk will tell you, but genuinely he could have been a huge ECW
12:43star.
12:44But instead of leading a gang of hapless noobs with the endorsement of Vince McMahon, no
12:48less, whose sole reason for existing is trying to prevent the fans from getting their nostalgia
12:52pops, that killed him.
12:54So instead, we're going to use the classic ECW stars to mentor some of the younger guys.
13:00So we start at one night stand 2006.
13:03Only changes to this are bring in Mike Awesome and have him on the card.
13:07Also have RVD beat Cena clean without the interference of Ed.
13:12WWE can tell whatever story they want to on Raw that Cena beat himself.
13:16The fans got in his head.
13:17He was in enemy territory, whatever.
13:20But the image of RVD, your first champion going into this new brand, should be him winning
13:27clean as a whistle.
13:29The only time, in fact, we see Edge on the pay view is in that match with Foley.
13:32But after that match, after Foley gets pinned by Tommy Dreamer, Edge then turns on Foley
13:38and Terry Funk comes to the rescue to save his former partner.
13:41And they both run Edge off, which turns Foley face in the process.
13:46This is important.
13:48Also towards the end of one night stand, Taz gets upset at the fact that he's been asked
13:51to sit in on ECW commentary, thinks it's beneath him.
13:54He should be the one fighting to be the first ECW champion.
13:58Styles comments that he's too out of shape to fight, and Taz and Styles get in a pull
14:01apart brawl with Taz walking off the show, leaving Styles to call the main event by himself
14:06Classic ECW.
14:08On Raw the next night, Cena says he's going to show up on ECW.
14:11Yes, I am a big hypocrite.
14:13This is the one time he's used WWE as an invading force, because Cena's just lost
14:17the belt.
14:18The big story on Raw is, hey John, where's our f***ing belt?
14:22Like you have to have him appear.
14:23It doesn't make storyline sense for him to not do the first official ECW show on Syfy
14:28emanating from the ECW arena.
14:31Just imagine how loud they would be to have hardcore TV back.
14:35The show is called by Joey Styles and Mick Foley, because they were a really good team
14:39on One Night Stand.
14:40Much better than Taz and Styles.
14:42In fact, if you want to, you could even keep Mick Foley heel.
14:45I think he'd be a really good heel commentator.
14:47RVD comes out with the WWE Championship, dedicates his win to all the great former WWE champs.
14:54The Hulk Hogan's, the Rock's, the Steve Austin's, the Triple H's, the John Cena's.
15:04And they can all kiss my ass.
15:08RVD throws down the WWE belt, an exact mirror of Shane Douglas throwing down the NWA Championship
15:14and officially crowning ECW Extreme Championship Wrestling.
15:19RVD receives the classic ECW heavyweight title instead.
15:23That way, RVD doesn't have to, you know, be pinned to lose the WWE title.
15:28Because Raw isn't going to do without their top belt for long, so instead of instantly
15:32handing him a loss, vacate the title and let Raw fight over with it, whatever they want.
15:36I'm not going to say a tournament, because my answer to everything is a tournament.
15:40It's just probably quite nice to have a tournament.
15:46When RVD throws down the belt, Cena shows up, but he's immediately mobbed by Sabu,
15:50Dreamer, and Sandman, because you don't even go here.
15:54Triple teamed, he's put through a table.
15:56The final definitive statement that WWE ain't welcome round these parts.
16:01They can all kiss our ass.
16:04Extreme.
16:05However, in amongst the chaos, which I think you can all agree is extreme, I can't keep
16:12doing it.
16:13However, in amongst all the chaos, who runs in through the crowd, but Rhyno.
16:17And he gores RVD.
16:19He holds up the belt because Rhyno, fun fact, was the last ever classic ECW champion.
16:24He believes it belongs to him, therefore, Heyman sets up RVD versus Rhyno in the main
16:29event, and that then provides that continuity link that connects modern ECW to classic.
16:35Speaking of Paul Heyman, he is the authority figure, obviously, for ECW, but not in a heel
16:39way.
16:40Like, he's William Regal on NXT, always on hand for a great promo, but otherwise backstage
16:44making it work.
16:45Because the idea that Paul Heyman would toil for years to get his baby back on TV, and
16:50then screw RVD to make big show champion, it doesn't make sense.
16:55Stop hating us for wanting a good time.
16:58Paul Heyman comes down to the ring, makes the match between RVD and Rhyno for the championship,
17:03talks about the future of ECW, and that's when he's attacked by Raven.
17:08Raven tells him, the first time around, you killed ECW.
17:13This time, the honor is mine.
17:16Quote the Raven, extreme.
17:19Elsewhere on the show, Taz cuts a promo about how he's going to rule ECW, but his in-ring
17:24days are done.
17:26Someone else is going to take him to the top spot.
17:28Someone after his own heart.
17:30Someone savage.
17:31Umaga.
17:33Because never ever forget that Umaga was f***ing great.
17:36He didn't get to beat John Cena, but he was a bloody brilliant destroyer, just like
17:40a certain Taz-maniac before him.
17:42Taz does all the talking for Umaga, threatening to unleash his monster on everyone in ECW.
17:49In the main event, RVD beats Rhyno, but in the following weeks, after the incident, you
17:53know, with the weed, Rhyno hospitalizes RVD by pushing him from a great height in the
17:58arena.
17:59RVD is injured, sits out his 30-day suspension, but is still the champion, and Heyman makes
18:04a match between the two men at ECW's first ever pay-per-view, the week before SummerSlam
18:09Heatwave 2006.
18:12So matches on the card, Raven vs. Sabu, which ends with the debut of Raven's new followers
18:19calling themselves Raven's Legion, including Elijah Burke, and one CM Punk.
18:26That's a big relationship going forward, CM Punk as Raven's key disciple.
18:29They actually have a history of that in early, early TNA, believe it or not, when he was
18:33a member of The Gathering.
18:34And honestly, I cannot think of a better mentor for counter-culture, hyper-principled, eerily
18:40charismatic CM Punk than Raven.
18:42What a pair of cults.
18:44Elsewhere on the card, you have Umaga vs. the FBI, a handicap match which he wins.
18:49Taz tells Umaga to further punish the FBI lads after the bell, slamming them through
18:54tables, ladders, etc.
18:57The BWO do a sketch about being back, throw some shade at the NWO being dead, but they're
19:03not.
19:04Maybe in fact they should change their name to a different stable.
19:06Maybe they should change their name to BX.
19:11And they're attacked by Raven and his group, with Stevie Richards especially, beaten up
19:15by Punk and Burke, playing off Raven's history with Stevie Richards.
19:19Also on this card, Rey Mysterio has lost the World Heavyweight Championship at Great American
19:22Bash by this point, bringing him back to ECW for one night.
19:26He wants to become extreme again, and who better to help him with that than Psychosis.
19:31Tajiri and Super Crazy vs. Psychosis and Rey Mysterio.
19:35A women's division match, with a division currently anchored by Jazz, and WWE should
19:40do what ECW was so good at back in the day.
19:43Turn to the indie scene to see who's tearing up.
19:46Turn to Japan to see who's making a huge impact over there.
19:50Maybe bring in someone who's absolutely massive in women's wrestling in Japan in the mid-2000s.
19:56Maybe someone who finds himself looking to move to an American promotion in 2006.
20:00Someone like Amazing Kong.
20:02No, don't correct me, she was called Amazing Kong in Japan.
20:06ECW crowds would bloody love Kong, and her vs. Jazz could tear it down given the right
20:13stage.
20:14Next up, Tommy Dreamer vs. The Sandman vs. Mike Awesome, three-way dance to crown a number
20:17one contendership to the ECW Championship.
20:20Mike Awesome wins that to play up how much ECW probably still hates him for what happened
20:24with the ECW title back in the day, when he held the belt and still accepted an offer
20:28to work for WCW.
20:30He says he's going to win the ECW Championship and take it to Raw.
20:34Bail end.
20:35And finally, Ronald Van Donald vs. Rhinoceros for the ECW title.
20:40RVD retains despite taped ribs, so from Guilty as Charged 2001 to Heatwave 2006, the PPV
20:47link is now made.
20:49From here on, every three months we have an ECW Supercard PPV, while on TV, hour-long
20:54shows that celebrate the anarchy of ECW, whilst also building long-term storylines.
21:00Storylines like Tommy Dreamer wants one last run as champion before he retires, Raven wants
21:04to destroy ECW with his Legion, including star disciple CM Punk, Umaga is unstoppable
21:10and used by Taz to wage war on the system, Mike Awesome wants to work for Raw instead,
21:15essentially nicking RVD's old ECW gimmick, Tajiri's introducing Japanese aces to ECW
21:21for guest tryouts, Psychosis and Super Crazy are doing the same for Lucha, and every three
21:25months a PPV with occasional pop-ins from big former ECW names.
21:30Next up is Anarchy Rules.
21:35Matches like Umaga vs. Sabu, Taz and Sabu rekindling their old feud but via the medium
21:41of Umaga who's now Taz's weapon, a special exhibition submission match pitting Chris
21:46Benoit vs. Dean Malenko, Tajiri and Masato Tanaka vs. Psychosis and Super Crazy, Strongstyle
21:52vs. Lucha Libre, Raven's Legion vs. Tommy Dreamer, and Sandman with CM Punk getting
21:57a big win, Jazz vs. Amazing Kong, steel cage match for the ECW new women's title which
22:05Kong wins, just Brock Lesnar her to the title and build the division around her and Jazz's
22:11more and more people, RVD vs. Mike Awesome for the ECW title with Awesome promising to
22:17show up on Raw with it if he wins, and he doesn't.
22:20Then just before Christmas, December to Dismember, it's a decent name, it's closing out the
22:27end of the year.
22:28On the card, Raven and Punk vs. Mick Foley and the Sandman.
22:32Punk gets pinned in this match and Raven starts beating him with a Singapore cane for failing
22:37in TNA.
22:38However, Punk catches the cane and he and Raven start to brawl.
22:42To crown the revived ECW TV champion, the last four title holders have a fatal four
22:48way.
22:49Rhyno, Super Crazy, Kid Cash, and Tajiri.
22:52Rhyno wins that.
22:53Matt Stryker has his first PPV match, because you know what, if ECW is done right, a charismatic
22:58former teacher who believes utterly in the rules and fair play, he'd be a great heat
23:03magnate.
23:04Have Stryker vs. ideally Shane Douglas to make a fun connection between him and Dean
23:10Douglas, the teacher vs. teacher thing.
23:12Stryker can have a fun gimmick that he keeps losing matches, but because his opponents
23:17always use a weapon at some point, he can claim to be undefeated because they weren't
23:21following the rules.
23:23Tommy Dreamer vs. Sabu, number one contenders match for the ECW championship.
23:27Tommy Dreamer wins that to further this one final dream storyline.
23:32Amazing Kong vs. a Japanese import, someone she's familiar with, like Nane Takahashi,
23:37who'd go on to co-found Stardom.
23:39The more you know.
23:40And finally, Umaga vs. RVD for the ECW championship, with Umaga winning to become the still undefeated
23:50ECW champion.
23:52Taz insists on carrying the championship for him.
23:55Keep building these stories, adding new stars in, bit by bit.
24:00And for Mania, you have Living Dangerously, matches like Matt Stryker vs. Mikey Whipwreck,
24:05who pops in for a cup of coffee.
24:07The world's greatest tag team pop in from the main roster to take on The Eliminators,
24:12both Cronus and Perry Saturn coming out of retirement for one night only to make it feel
24:17like Mania season.
24:19CM Punk vs. Raven in a cage match to keep out the rest of Raven's legion.
24:24CM Punk beats Raven, frees himself of his former master so he's free to move up the card.
24:29In the main event, Umaga vs. Tommy Dreamer, the culmination of the One Final Dream storyline.
24:36One last shot at the ECW championship for Tommy Dreamer.
24:40Maximum sympathy for Tommy, maximum heat on Umaga when Umaga beats him.
24:45Which brings us round again to Heatwave 2007, after the first full calendar year.
24:50The first main event with two completely homegrown new ECW stars as CM Punk takes on Umaga for
24:57the ECW championship.
24:58Now you could have Punk go over here, but ECW is all about making those stories stretch
25:03out, making the payoffs so much better, so he probably shouldn't.
25:07But here it's more of a symbol of taking a nostalgia-based product, staying true to
25:11that nostalgic bedrock, maximising the impact that ECW can have with the right location
25:16and setup, and then using it to become its own independent, almost indie brand.
25:21Somewhere for new talent to flourish before they make it to the big leagues.
25:24In other words, classic ECW.
25:28And that is how I would book WWE ECW.
25:33Did you hate it?
25:34Let me know in the comments, I guess.
25:37Because it's Christmas.
25:39Merry Christmas.
25:40Also, please do subscribe to PartsFunknown, we'd super appreciate that.
25:45And make sure you stay tuned for more great format in 2021, when we could finally get
25:50in the same room to do No Rolls Barred.
25:53Hooray!
25:54And other great things.
25:56Bye!
25:57Subscribe.
25:58Bye.
25:59Merry Christmas.
26:00Bye.

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