What are you holding onto? Do you need to forgive yourself? Omar Pinto delivers an emotional, gut-wrenching speech about love, loss and letting go.
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00:00My sister comes running to me. She says Omar. There's this kid picking on me. Where is he?
00:07Where is he? He's over there on the playground
00:11Run over to the playground
00:12Shoulders back chest out looked him right in the eye, and I said stop messing with my sister
00:20The kid punches me in the stomach
00:23I
00:24Knocks the wind out of me. I drop to the ground. I can't breathe. I can't move
00:29I've never been punched in the stomach in my life. I'm eight
00:33terrified and
00:36As a child at eight years old right feeling weak scared and small I
00:45Try to become small I try to become invisible shoulders down chest down
00:52This went on for eight years
00:56Until I turned 16 and I get handed my very first beer 16 years old
01:04And it all went away
01:07It's all gone
01:10Instantly it was gone the fear the self-loathing the sadness the loneliness the insecurity
01:18It was gone
01:19That did not come without its consequences
01:22And I remember waking up so many mornings black eye
01:28Busted lip blood all over me
01:30And I would call my friend. I call my best friend. I'm like Gordo
01:36And what happened last night
01:38He's like man. Are you all right?
01:41That's it
01:43and I don't know man. I'm in a lot of pain here, but
01:46You know
01:47What happened he goes oh we were at that party last night, and you got wasted again
01:53You walked right up to the school bully
01:56Started talking trash took a big old swing
02:00Miss completely and these two guys pummeled you to the ground we had to drag you out of there
02:07but if I had to choose
02:10between the consequences of alcohol and
02:13The self-loathing and fear that I felt when I was sober there was no choice
02:17I was drinking and this went on for 12 years, and I immediately started to live this double life
02:26Because my girlfriend was not having it
02:28I just met this girl and she was like I don't want nothing to do with that lifestyle
02:31So I had to lead this double life where I was a boyfriend during the day
02:35And as this rock star party or night and so finally my girlfriend moves in with me. Oh, I'll move in with him
02:42Cuz then he's got to stop if we move in together. I got worse
02:46So then I asked her to marry me a year later. Oh, we're engaged. She's got to slow down now. I got worse
02:52Six months later. She gets pregnant. He's got to stop
02:57I get worse
03:00Four months into the pregnancy she's gone
03:04See it wasn't just about her anymore
03:07Thought the baby
03:10So at that moment in my life, I started losing everything I
03:15Lost my wife. I lost the business. I was really sick. I was in a really bad place physically a
03:22few months later
03:24My daughter was born
03:28And I remember that I was sitting in the delivery room and this nurse walks in with my daughter
03:36She says you would you like to hold your daughter I said, yes, please
03:41And she puts this little angel in my arms
03:50I knew in that moment
03:54I had a lot more than my daughter in my arms. I
04:00Had a reason to live
04:02I had purpose
04:04I had purpose
04:09And all of a sudden I had this vision in my mind I had this vision of her being 16 years old
04:15Being in school and her friend saying what does your dad do for a living?
04:20And she says my dad died of a drug overdose
04:26My dad's in jail I
04:30Started to cry and I was crying all over her
04:35And I said, I said God help me
04:39Help me
04:40Help me make her proud of me
04:44Help me be the man. She deserves me to be
04:49And this fire just
04:53Ignited inside of me and I knew I
04:57Knew that there was nothing that I wasn't gonna do to make things, right?
05:02And
05:03I started to work. I was all in I
05:08Started going to 12-step meetings every single day. I worked the steps
05:14I got a sponsor a year into my recovery. I was sponsoring guys
05:19I was all in it was changing my life. My focus was clear
05:24I believe that everyone needs a purpose in their life
05:28For me it was my daughter
05:30My purpose was to be the best father the best man that I could be for her and nothing in this world was going to
05:36Stop and year after year since the day she was born. I have become a better version of myself
05:42Because you will fail and you will face challenges, but if you are clear about your purpose
05:48Then there is nothing and no one that can stop you
05:58You