Big Cat | Pardon My Take
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00:00 Welcome to the part of my take hockey skills competition. Two competitions in
00:04 the books as we move forward to our next challenge, the hardest shot. We are
00:09 penalty boxing Nick so White Sox Dave has to go. I'd be goalie. Yeah I mean it's
00:14 fun to play these when PFT and big hat just collude. Come on Dave!
00:18 Lines up, it goes in. 40 miles an hour. Come on Max. You got this Max. Yes! 33!
00:26 Next up it's Chief and he is the favorite in this. 65! And once again team Big Cat wins.
00:35 You guys have been colluding the whole time and I'm just over here. The only thing we
00:38 colluded about was we're like we just got to make sure Donnie's not the goalie.
00:41 Representing team PFT, Jordy. There we go Jordy! Another one! Six saves! Nice work Jordy.
00:49 That was huge. Into the net it's Nick Turrani. That's one for Nick! Another one! Nick Turrani hitting it! It's four! Are you kidding me? He needs one more! That's it! That's it! Nick sends team Hank to the final! This is absurd.
01:14 Welcome to the final episode of Pardon My Take Hockey Skills Competition. I'm
01:19 your host PK Subed. It all comes down to this. With team PFT set packing. That's
01:25 bullshit! You want to go buddy? I don't want to have to tell you how to go. That's bullshit you know it.
01:29 Team Big Cat and team Hank will go head-to-head in a final shootout. The
01:34 coaches will be trading their clipboards in for the pair of skates and getting out
01:38 on the ice. Strap in folks. We're in for a wild finish. Hey my team! So we go second
01:47 in the shootout because we had the one seed. We got to figure out order. I think you go your best guys first.
01:51 I think we just load up up front. You go best guys first. And then we go Joey last. So you might not have to go.
01:57 Alright we're gonna go Frankie, Donnie, Dave, Nick. I can't shoot for my life. I
02:04 gotta practice. Alright. Oh oh. Oh oh. I don't know what I'm gonna do. This is gonna be tough.
02:16 I've never skated with a stick. I've only ice skated. Oh my god. Oh no. Oh my god. Oh my god. One timer.
02:31 Give me a helmet. Someone stole my stick. I don't think it matters. Yeah. This one yours?
02:36 Do we have each other's? Oh yeah we do. Yep. That makes sense.
02:42 Alright ladies and gentlemen it all comes down to this. Points? Throw them out
02:48 the window. Blank slate. Shootout. And Max who's on PFT's team is all-time goalie.
02:54 Should we go first? Ceremonial first? Yeah I'll do that. I'll do that. Alright.
02:59 Love that. Love that. Love that for us. And how did the decision of Max to be
03:04 all-time goalie come to be? We wanted Max to be in goal. He says it's because we
03:08 want to torture him. We thought it should be funny. I'm very nervous. I don't know
03:11 how to skate. I'm terrified of a slap shot and I also I could pull a hammy. How
03:19 you feeling about Max in goal? I feel good. I'd love to put one past him. Yeah me too.
03:23 Maybe a little five hole. Maybe a little double deke. What if I'm just a legend and I just
03:27 found my next calling? For the record I don't think that Max looks like the
03:30 Kool-Aid man. If anybody says stop saying he looks like a Kool-Aid man, he does not.
03:37 He just keeps saying all these sick fucks are just trying to torture me.
03:43 Also might not fit. It's not gonna fit over his head.
03:47 Actually we're good. Look at the back of his helmet with his bun. Alright so Henry
03:54 Lockwood the captain for Team Hank leading off this championship shootout.
03:57 Ready Hank? Yeah. Two greatest skaters in situ in history. Me and Brian Whitney,
04:02 Billy Tibbetts in third. If he makes this he sends a picture to the family group chat.
04:07 Hank versus Max. First shot.
04:12 Sorry boys I was trying to look right and shoot left. It's all good. You know what to do Dan.
04:21 Great leader. And now the first shot for Team Big Cat coming from their captain.
04:25 It's Big Cat. A chance to gain the advantage early in this shootout.
04:32 Here comes Big Cat charging. And a dunk by the left hand.
04:37 Alright boys we're back. We're back right back in it. That means so much to Max blocking those
04:43 first two shots. I think he could miss the rest of the shots as long as he
04:46 blocked those first two. Against his bosses too. So we move on to the second round.
04:50 Here comes Borelli. A huge Islanders fan.
04:55 What if Max is just a legend? What if I'm just a legend? What if I'm just a legend?
05:03 Max's left skate denies Borelli. What the fuck was that? Yes Max. Somehow someway Max is three for three.
05:12 Great save Max. And next representing Team Big Cat it's Riggs a chance to take
05:17 the lead in this shootout. D1 hockey player Riggs let's see if Max Delonte
05:21 can handle the smoke. Here comes Riggs gliding towards the goal. Fake. Another fake.
05:27 Max gets a stick on it.
05:29 Oh!
05:31 Max!
05:33 This man is on absolute fire.
05:37 If he stopped every single goal you guys just win. Yeah we win.
05:41 Good save. That was a good poke.
05:43 That was a good poke.
05:45 That was fucking Igor in there.
05:47 Everyone's trying to be crafty and try to figure out what they can do to get around Max.
05:51 You can't get around Max.
05:53 Unbelievable.
05:55 This is crazy.
05:57 We move on to the third round. This is getting interesting.
06:00 Alright here comes Chef Donnie. A chance to take the lead for Team Hank.
06:04 Third round of the shootout. No! Did it go? No! Did it go?
06:09 That's far down. That moves the net. Far down. Far down.
06:13 I don't think that went in.
06:15 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch the tape.
06:17 I don't think that went in.
06:19 What?
06:21 No that's in. That's in.
06:23 It's a goal.
06:25 They're counting it.
06:27 That wasn't a goal.
06:29 Spider, can we get a quick word? That was a close call.
06:31 This is the only call I've had to make today. It felt good to have a little bit of power.
06:34 That one went in and it was too close. I'm not a slow-mo machine.
06:37 From my angle it looked good. I'm calling it good.
06:39 We're calling it good.
06:41 Alright here comes Grinelli. A chance to equalize.
06:43 Oh wow. He's carrying it in the air.
06:45 That looks terrifying.
06:47 The blocker saved.
06:49 This guy's unreal.
06:51 Through three rounds it's 1-0 Team Hank.
06:55 We're choking. We're choking.
06:58 Meet the man that's changing goal tenders.
07:01 He does look fucking massive in there.
07:04 I had said he's like that Geico commercial with the walrus.
07:08 So Team Hank can take huge control with the goal here.
07:14 We're good. We're going to win.
07:16 I got silky mitts as the kids say.
07:18 Two rounds left. They're up 1-0.
07:20 Hank is feeling maniacal. He never thought he'd get this far.
07:24 Come on Dave. Win it. Win it.
07:26 Win it. Win it. Let's fucking win it.
07:29 Give me a puck.
07:31 This is why I drafted you.
07:33 Alright White Sox Dave has a chance to extend this lead to 2-0.
07:37 Here comes Dave gliding down the left side.
07:40 Oh he whiffs. He whiffs.
07:43 Max makes another stop opening the door for Team Big Cats to tie it up.
07:48 I didn't win it. That was a fucking pathetic effort.
07:51 I should have been better than that. I should have at least got a shot off.
07:54 I didn't even give us a chance. I'm a little upset.
07:56 It's alright. It's not alright. I'm fucking pissed.
07:58 You could have won it for us. I know. I know.
08:00 Chief a chance to equalize.
08:02 Chief is going to come with a big, big shot here Jake.
08:06 I'm just going to shoot it. Yeah. Just try.
08:09 Here comes Chief. A chance to tie it up. I'm terrified.
08:12 He looks confident. And he scores!
08:15 The equalizer. 1-1 with one round remaining.
08:20 So since it is the part of my take skills challenge,
08:25 we figured now that we're 1-1 through 4,
08:28 Hank and I are going to go again. It's just going to be sudden death.
08:30 Me versus Hank on Max. Part of my take to the Max.
08:33 Hank first and Big Cat obviously will get last place.
08:36 We'll keep going back and forth until one of us breaks it.
08:38 What do you think I should do here?
08:40 He's not low. I would say just keep him low.
08:44 Shoot it from afar. Make him move.
08:47 He might. I heard Rudy telling him to come skate out of you,
08:50 so just be ready to pull him around.
08:52 Alright, here comes Hank. The final round. Tied at 1.
08:57 He said cheddar. Against Max. He fakes one there.
09:00 Oh, and he wins! He wins again!
09:03 And Max makes the stop.
09:06 And that leaves the opportunity for Team Big Cat
09:11 to win it all with all the pressure on the captain's shoulders.
09:15 Jake, I don't want to say that was embarrassing, but that was embarrassing.
09:20 Big Cat has the chance to win it. One goal ends it.
09:24 If not, we start over with Hank.
09:27 Alright, congrats Big Cat. Shut up!
09:29 Here comes Big Cat. For the final, for the win!
09:34 And it's the wall!
09:36 Let's go, Hank! Let's go, Hank.
09:39 You just got to get a shot on that. Just get a shot.
09:43 I promise I'll get a shot on that. Just get a shot.
09:45 We march on! Max is a brick wall.
09:48 Beast mode.
09:50 Yes. Yes? Yes.
09:54 What am I doing wrong?
09:55 Same exact thing again.
09:57 I think I should just shoot right away.
09:59 Alright, here comes Hank.
10:01 And he scores!
10:19 5-4!
10:21 Hank beats Max!
10:23 And now it comes down to Big Cat. If Max makes the stop, Team Hank wins it.
10:28 Come on, Big Cat.
10:29 Fuck.
10:30 Here comes Big Cat.
10:50 And Team Hank does the unthinkable!
10:54 No one believed in us.
10:56 I didn't even believe in us.
10:58 They are, pardon my take, hockey skills competition champions.
11:04 I let us down. Fuck. Not even close.
11:08 God damn it. How did Hank win this?
11:11 Keep your head up.
11:13 I think Hank knew you didn't want to go to the ground.
11:17 You didn't want to have to get back up again.
11:19 I can't believe Hank won. How did that happen?
11:22 Well, that was a ton of fun, but at the end of the day, in a shootout,
11:26 your winner of the, pardon my take, hockey skills competition, Team Hank!
11:32 Congratulations!
11:34 Alright, Hank, I gotta ask you, how are you feeling after this win?
11:37 I feel great. No one believed in this team.
11:39 We lost Feidelberg. I thought our chances were low, but we came back.
11:43 Nick gets a game puck. Unbelievable job in goalie.
11:47 Everyone played well. We fought back all day.
11:50 It's just an honor to win a cup with these guys.
11:52 Do you have anything to say to Big Cat or PFT?
11:55 Suck it.
11:56 Real classy, Hank. Real classy.
11:58 And that concludes the competition.
12:00 Wow! And in an upset, Team Hank secures the win over Team Big Cat
12:06 in the final challenge and takes home the tiny Stanley Cup.
12:10 That does it for pardon my take hockey skills competition.
12:13 Don't forget, if you like real hockey with actual players,
12:17 tune in to ABC and ESPN+ for the 2024 Stanley Cup Final.
12:22 I'm P.K. Subban. Thanks for watching.
12:25 (whooshing)
12:28 [BLANK_AUDIO]