Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 When people hassle me about actually liking airplane or cafeteria food, I try to explain
00:00:07 to them. I grew up with a divorced working mom who never had the time or patience for
00:00:16 anything fresh. Frozen her package was what I was weaned on. Except for when she made
00:00:22 her one dish, disguised a hundred different ways. Chicken, chicken cacciatore, chicken
00:00:29 Florentine, Hawaiian chicken. Then mom had it with working and the single parent gig
00:00:36 and moved us from New York to California with this swell guy she married. Marty Swell. At
00:00:46 one time the name must have been Swellstein or Swellevitz. But somehow back in the day
00:00:59 at Ellis Island, someone must have gotten lazy or impatient or inspired and entered
00:01:06 my step granddad into the US of A as just plain old Swell. At least they had the decency
00:01:15 not to add another L to make it a synonym for wonderful. I remember my summer vacation
00:01:27 home after my first year away at college. I'd gone back to New York to study creative
00:01:31 writing at NYU. So I was eager to show off my new sophisticated persona. At the same
00:01:37 time probe my roots. My plan was to write a book, my story, and return to the Big Apple
00:01:43 with a definitive tale of the dysfunctional family and launch my literary career. I was
00:01:48 only 19 but I saw myself as someone distant and apart. An able observer to dissect and
00:01:55 expose the key to what makes a family tick or in this case twist. I'd only been gone
00:02:01 nine months but that household seemed like a million light years away. That was until
00:02:07 I stepped off the plane.
00:02:15 Welcome aboard flight 584 departing New York JFK International Airport for Los Angeles.
00:02:20 Our flight time will be five hours and 49 minutes.
00:02:24 Wendy!
00:02:26 Wendy?
00:02:27 Wendy!
00:02:28 Mom, hi!
00:02:29 Hi! Oh darling, oh my goodness. Let me look at you. Oh, you got one of those New York
00:02:34 haircuts? Yes, it's adorable. I'm so glad to see you, my darling. I've missed you so
00:02:40 much. I can't believe it's been a whole year. I've got to get my luggage.
00:02:45 Is that you got that? No, that's not mine. Wait, no, I think that's it over there.
00:03:05 Yes, sir, could you help us? Thank you so much. You're such a kind person.
00:03:10 It's okay.
00:03:12 No, no, you're a lady. You should let a nice gentleman take your baggage. Thank you so
00:03:17 much.
00:03:18 Can we go?
00:03:27 Of course, honey.
00:03:28 I need the keys to open the trunk.
00:03:30 Alright. Okay, it's just down this aisle, I'm sure of it. Okay, yeah, that's it. That's
00:03:34 the car right there. Remember this car?
00:03:36 Yeah, I remember it.
00:03:37 What is that on... a ticket?
00:03:40 How could they give me a ticket? How can they give anybody a ticket around here?
00:03:49 It's a meter. You didn't put enough change in the meter.
00:03:51 Of course I put enough change in the meter. I loaded it up with change.
00:03:55 I've been waiting for like a half an hour.
00:04:00 How could there be traffic on the 405 at 7.30 in the morning?
00:04:04 LA, Mom, there's always traffic. That's why it's so great in New York. You don't even
00:04:08 need a car.
00:04:09 You know, I've been talking to Marty about getting one of these car phones.
00:04:14 Oh, Molly, that's so Hollywood.
00:04:15 They're very expensive. You should see the bills we've been racking up lately. Marty
00:04:18 is on the phone all the time.
00:04:20 Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
00:04:30 Fire! Fire! Fire!
00:04:35 My half-sister. Although I'd get a smack if I ever called her half to her face.
00:04:40 You ruined the toast and Tracy almost set the goddamn house on fire.
00:04:43 I was making pizza. Look, more fire.
00:04:47 The housekeeper's daughter. A tidbit of normality.
00:04:51 You're right, kid, you're right. Hand me that baking soda.
00:04:55 Here, Daddy. He's not your daddy. You don't have one.
00:04:59 Where you been, huh? I've been here waiting for you.
00:05:01 Don't aggravate me. The traffic was murder.
00:05:03 Yeah, well, the kids almost burned the house to the ground, for Christ's sake. I mean...
00:05:06 I leave for one hour and you can't take care of them.
00:05:09 Mommy!
00:05:10 Well, hon, Estelle's supposed to be here. She's been gone all morning.
00:05:13 Aw, thank Marty.
00:05:15 Estelle, the housekeeper. Will she ever have the guts to leave?
00:05:20 Stop barking! Mom!
00:05:23 Oh, stop it, Tracy! You're driving me nuts!
00:05:25 Your skin looks good. Real good. You only got a few of them left.
00:05:29 A real piece of work. And he always knew where to hit.
00:05:34 Stand still! The door wasn't even locked. I can't believe you just leave it open.
00:05:40 Don't be silly. It's broad daylight. Marty's here.
00:05:44 So?
00:05:46 What the killers do now is they get rid of the men first, and then they rape and kill the women.
00:05:51 Or they kill them, and then they rape them.
00:05:54 Can we please not talk about such things?
00:05:57 I can't believe you don't know all this. You live in L.A. Don't you read the paper?
00:06:01 Did you take my paper?
00:06:03 How could I take your paper? I just got here.
00:06:06 What's right, Mommy?
00:06:08 You see? You see the ideas you're giving your little sister?
00:06:11 I don't know.
00:06:13 Mommy, you see the ideas you're giving your little sister?
00:06:16 How do you tell your mother she's in denial when her only response is, "I am not"?
00:06:21 I'm not giving them to her. They exist.
00:06:25 Mr. Park, my friend, I was just going to call you.
00:06:28 No! My wife, she tell me call you!
00:06:31 [Speaking Korean]
00:06:33 Hey!
00:06:35 Go get ready for the party.
00:06:37 What party?
00:06:39 Your Aunt Sherry's birthday.
00:06:41 I'm exhausted. How come no one told me about this?
00:06:44 You no understand, my friend. You no sell fruit juice, huh?
00:06:48 You sell soda and cigarettes, huh?
00:06:51 No! My wife, she say buy fruit juice machine.
00:06:54 Where is that little bitch?
00:06:56 Hey, watch that language.
00:06:58 Where is it?
00:06:59 My blood sister gone bad.
00:07:02 You know, I'm just going to let you see for yourselves how the whole mess played out that day.
00:07:08 God damn it!
00:07:11 No, no, no, no, no, no. The kids, they come, they see the fruit juice,
00:07:14 they go to the 7-Eleven mini mall, and they buy soda and cigarettes.
00:07:18 [Speaking Korean]
00:07:20 Hey!
00:07:21 No!
00:07:22 That bread stills my makeup that I saved my allowance for, for months!
00:07:25 And all you have to say is, "Watch that language"?
00:07:28 Quiet.
00:07:29 She talks like a truck driver.
00:07:31 If I would have talked like that when I was her age, I would have been grounded for a month.
00:07:35 But no, not her. She's your daughter.
00:07:38 Have you cleaned the pool yet?
00:07:40 Mr. Swell!
00:07:42 Huh?
00:07:43 I have to clean the pool. I have to wash the cars. Why can't Estelle do it? She's the maid.
00:07:47 She ain't the maid. She is the housekeeper.
00:07:50 Yeah, right.
00:07:51 Mr. Swell!
00:07:52 Okay, wise-ass, now you're not going to the party. Go to your room.
00:07:56 Mr. Swell!
00:08:03 Mr. Park.
00:08:05 Fifteen. It's the age. She's like a firecracker about to explode.
00:08:09 Go get ready.
00:08:11 (sobbing)
00:08:13 You give kids what they want, Mr. Park.
00:08:40 They pay money.
00:08:41 No, we don't make money. We lose money.
00:08:44 It reeks of weed, you know?
00:08:50 Who cares? I can walk down the hall with the needle sticking out of my arm. You think they'd notice?
00:08:56 And Mr. Swell has to come to your store and wheel away machines.
00:09:05 Marty, get off. We have to get going.
00:09:07 Then you know be happy, Mr. Park.
00:09:09 (sobbing)
00:09:11 (sobbing)
00:09:14 (sobbing)
00:09:41 The effects of neglect.
00:09:44 Are you two ready?
00:09:49 I'm not going. I'm grounded.
00:09:52 Don't be silly. This is family.
00:09:55 I'm not one of you. That's just biological.
00:09:58 Oh, that's real nice. What am I going to tell your Aunt Sherry?
00:10:02 Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
00:10:04 Hi, honey.
00:10:05 I love you, Mommy.
00:10:07 I love you too, sweetheart.
00:10:09 Can I go swimming, Mommy?
00:10:10 No, we're going to Aunt Sherry's birthday.
00:10:13 (bark)
00:10:18 Oh, Tracy. Oh. You've been tracking it all over the house.
00:10:23 It smells.
00:10:24 Estelle!
00:10:26 Here I am, Mrs. Swell.
00:10:29 We were looking everywhere for you.
00:10:32 Have you been?
00:10:34 I was jogging.
00:10:36 Oh, Tracy stepped in poopoo.
00:10:38 Hi. Come here, Tracy.
00:10:40 What is this dog doing in the house?
00:10:42 I'm sorry, Mrs. Swell. I put him in my room.
00:10:44 Come on, dog.
00:10:45 Estelle, you don't have to put them in your room.
00:10:48 I'll see you next week.
00:10:50 Mr. Swell will see you next week.
00:10:52 Bye-bye, Mr. Bog. Bye-bye.
00:10:56 Marty.
00:10:58 I'm talking to a client.
00:11:00 We are supposed to be at the party already. You're not even dressed.
00:11:03 I'm trying to make some money.
00:11:04 Party? Party? What's this about a party?
00:11:07 Oh, hi, Pop.
00:11:08 Good morning.
00:11:10 Did I hear you say good morning, young lady?
00:11:13 Good morning, Dad.
00:11:14 Now, what's all this about a party?
00:11:17 I've been asking you all week if you wanted to come. You told me no.
00:11:20 Nobody told me anything about a party.
00:11:30 Well, well, well. Look who's here. It's Wilma.
00:11:34 Wendy.
00:11:36 Did I hear you say good morning?
00:11:39 Okay.
00:11:41 All clean, Mrs. Swell.
00:11:46 Get off of my jacket, Tracy.
00:11:48 Tracy, off the jacket.
00:11:50 Aren't you coming?
00:11:52 Me?
00:11:53 Yes, you and Chrissy are part of the family.
00:11:59 [Music]
00:12:15 The heir, pregnant with chaos.
00:12:19 You're hurting me. Say it.
00:12:34 Wendy, hand me that cake, will you?
00:12:36 Mom, can't you redecorate or something? This place looks like 1970.
00:12:40 If I have the time.
00:12:42 Dad, you coming?
00:12:43 I wasn't invited.
00:12:49 What?
00:12:50 Nothing. Let's go.
00:12:52 A sales coming too?
00:12:53 Sherry can use some help in the kitchen.
00:12:56 Lock up, Dad.
00:13:05 Mom, does he have to smoke that thing?
00:13:07 Marty?
00:13:08 No, I like cigars, Senor Swell.
00:13:10 All right, all right. Pipe down, geez.
00:13:13 Don't say his name in vain.
00:13:15 I didn't. I said geez, like cheese.
00:13:18 Prices tell you I'm making my kid into a fanatic.
00:13:21 Let's go. The machine will pick up.
00:13:23 My dad might answer. Not know what he's saying.
00:13:27 Could be a client.
00:13:28 They call all day and night.
00:13:30 Could be a deal.
00:13:31 Go get it, then.
00:13:32 You go.
00:13:50 Hello? Hello?
00:13:53 Hello? Hello? Hello?
00:13:58 Hello?
00:14:01 Gracias, Tocotinco.
00:14:03 Hello?
00:14:05 Hello?
00:14:07 Hello?
00:14:12 They hung up.
00:14:14 So?
00:14:15 It was that crazy friend of yours, that drunken Peggy person.
00:14:20 So what do you want me to do?
00:14:22 You expect me to believe that she's a client.
00:14:27 Oh, Marty.
00:14:29 I told you, she gives me leans. I gotta be nice to her.
00:14:33 Oh, you're so nice. You are nicer to her than you are your own family.
00:14:39 Come on, girls. We go pick lemons.
00:14:42 Is that the only time you're nice to them when you're with your little whore?
00:14:45 Hey, hey, watch your mouth.
00:14:53 The familiar isolation.
00:14:58 I want to be the mommy picking lemons for my family.
00:15:01 I want to.
00:15:02 Mommies have blonde hair like me.
00:15:05 Chrissy, you let Tracy be the mommy this time. You be it next time.
00:15:08 Don't give in to her, Estelle. She's a spoiled little brat.
00:15:11 Fuck you.
00:15:13 Oh, Mr. Big Shot Nice Guy, oh yeah.
00:15:16 What do you think? You think you can take me for an idiot?
00:15:19 You think I'm stupid, like your first wife?
00:15:21 Like Sheila you used to lock in the closet?
00:15:24 I'm like no one in the closet. What are you talking about, huh?
00:15:27 That's not what someone told me.
00:15:29 I heard about you and your filthy ways.
00:15:32 Your hair's cute.
00:15:34 You think?
00:15:36 It's the new wave look.
00:15:38 Looks good on skinny girls with no tits.
00:15:43 My finger. You beast.
00:15:47 She comes after you with a nutcracker.
00:15:49 The woman is loony, psycho.
00:15:51 Keep it down in there, will you?
00:15:54 The car is still running.
00:15:55 Well, turn it off then.
00:15:57 I thought we were going.
00:15:59 I will go by myself.
00:16:05 Careful, no, we're out of my way.
00:16:07 Oh, God.
00:16:10 Poor little baby.
00:16:12 What'd she do to you, huh?
00:16:14 Oh, could you, could you, you sweet little thing.
00:16:16 You want some love, huh?
00:16:18 How about Daddy make you some eggs?
00:16:20 Some eggs with cheese, huh?
00:16:23 We try to bring them with the neighbor's dog,
00:16:25 but this one won't give her the time of the day.
00:16:27 Your mother thinks he's a homo.
00:16:30 Here you go, sweetheart.
00:16:33 So, uh, you hungry?
00:16:36 No, I ate on the plane.
00:16:38 Okay.
00:16:41 Now, let's see what we got.
00:16:45 Hey, uh, Marty?
00:16:48 I asked my mom to ask you.
00:16:50 Ask me what?
00:16:52 Well, then I guess she didn't.
00:16:54 Ask me what?
00:16:57 Well, I was telling Mommy that my friend Malcolm
00:16:59 is coming from New York for the summer.
00:17:01 You know, his parents wanted to get him out of the city and--
00:17:04 You want some Jack or you want some chair, huh?
00:17:09 Anyway, um, you know,
00:17:14 his family has treated me like their own daughter,
00:17:16 and I was wondering, you know,
00:17:18 if we move a mattress into the den, could he stay?
00:17:20 Absolutely not. No boys stay in the house.
00:17:25 I'm almost 20 years old.
00:17:27 My mother said it was all right.
00:17:29 Look, I make the rules around here.
00:17:31 No boys in the house, and that is it.
00:17:41 Why does he always have to do this when it's my family?
00:17:44 You said you were going to ask him.
00:17:46 About what?
00:17:47 About Malcolm.
00:17:49 I did ask him.
00:17:50 He said he'd have to think about it.
00:17:55 What do you want me to do?
00:17:57 He's only coming tonight, Ma.
00:18:06 Look, Marty, he's my best friend.
00:18:08 He's coming 3,000 miles.
00:18:10 I don't care if he comes from Kalamazoo.
00:18:12 He can stay in a hotel.
00:18:14 He can come here to swim.
00:18:20 Look, the truth is, he's gay.
00:18:22 We're like sisters.
00:18:24 Well, now he's not swimming here.
00:18:26 No fairies in my pool.
00:18:29 Fairies?
00:18:30 Are you from the ice age?
00:18:32 They're called gay.
00:18:33 Gay, get it?
00:18:34 Because they're happy.
00:18:36 Happy fairies.
00:18:39 I knew you would say no.
00:18:41 Certainly I'm going to say no.
00:18:42 He is not staying in my house.
00:18:47 Your house?
00:18:48 Your pool?
00:18:49 Your kingdom, Mr. Big Authority?
00:18:51 As it so happens, it is my mother's house, and it was her parents'.
00:18:55 You know you better quit while you're ahead.
00:18:59 That's just swell.
00:19:01 My best friend can't come and stay for one summer, but your mistresses can call all day long.
00:19:07 You were just lucky my mother's in denial.
00:19:09 She only sees what she wants to.
00:19:11 The rest of us knows, you scum.
00:19:13 I hope one morning you never wake up.
00:19:20 Wendy?
00:19:21 Why did you have to marry him?
00:19:23 We were fine before.
00:19:26 She's done.
00:19:28 She's home from college for the summer.
00:19:30 I don't want any trouble.
00:19:33 I'm going.
00:19:35 Now you're going?
00:19:36 Like that?
00:19:38 I'm going for the grub.
00:19:39 There's nothing to eat in this house.
00:19:41 You look like a ghoul.
00:19:43 I think I look good.
00:19:45 Now what are boys going to say when they see you walking around like that?
00:19:48 Well, they'll think that she comes from the circus.
00:19:50 Bozo.
00:19:52 If anyone looks like a circus performer, it's you.
00:19:55 And plus, that's not my aim in life, to have a boyfriend.
00:19:59 I hate men.
00:20:01 You're such a beautiful girl.
00:20:03 I don't know why you have to mess yourself up.
00:20:05 Beauty sucks.
00:20:07 Don't say that word.
00:20:09 It's an onomatopoeia.
00:20:11 Sounds like it means "sucks."
00:20:13 Watch it.
00:20:14 Can we just go?
00:20:16 Wendy!
00:20:32 Tracy, sit in front with me.
00:20:34 I want to sit with you, Mom.
00:20:36 Well, sit in front with me.
00:20:38 I'm your mother.
00:20:39 Come on.
00:20:45 Let me air.
00:20:46 I can't breathe.
00:20:47 Hold your horses.
00:20:49 Mom, I'm going to barf.
00:20:51 Shit.
00:20:52 What now?
00:20:53 I forgot the cake.
00:20:57 Now you can have a firmer fanny with the Fanny Sizer from Farmco.
00:21:02 What the hell is it?
00:21:06 Mira, I don't see the ivy's been watered.
00:21:09 Why don't you do it yourself?
00:21:11 You're lazy, Senor Suel.
00:21:13 You'll be sad when Senor no more lazy.
00:21:16 Then no more work.
00:21:17 Then you and Chrissy no more home.
00:21:19 Then back to El Casa y Miracle.
00:21:22 Arnie!
00:21:40 Move over!
00:21:41 I am.
00:21:42 More!
00:21:44 Where is it?
00:21:51 Right around here, Missy Suel.
00:21:53 Marty!
00:21:55 Is my sister's cake in there?
00:22:01 We're leaving as soon as I find it.
00:22:11 Shit.
00:22:27 Honey, you got to stop calling me here.
00:22:30 Marty.
00:22:31 Let me call you.
00:22:33 You said you were going to take me to Palm Springs today.
00:22:36 You promised!
00:22:45 Mira, make me some meat, huh?
00:22:47 Papi, you want some quibbles?
00:22:48 No, I've had my breakfast, son.
00:22:51 It's almost lunchtime.
00:22:52 I don't want to be any trouble.
00:22:54 No trouble, Bob.
00:22:56 Right, Mira?
00:22:57 No problem.
00:22:58 Thank you.
00:23:06 Ernie!
00:23:07 Baby, you're back!
00:23:09 How you doing, man?
00:23:11 It is good to see you.
00:23:12 Did they let you out of the slammer?
00:23:14 Hey, Pamela.
00:23:15 Lovely as ever.
00:23:16 She sure is.
00:23:18 Papi's grown since the last time he's seen her, Ernie.
00:23:21 She's a big girl now.
00:23:23 Big.
00:23:26 Not out of the bottle.
00:23:28 It makes me feel like I'm in a commercial.
00:23:30 Yeah, well, I don't care how it makes you feel.
00:23:32 Not out of the bottle.
00:23:33 It's disgusting.
00:23:42 Excellent kippers, Mira.
00:23:44 Excellent.
00:23:46 Hello, Ernie.
00:23:49 I'm going to call Sherry and tell her we'll be there for dessert, okay?
00:23:51 We have to.
00:23:52 We're bringing the cake.
00:23:58 If I ever find the goddamn thing.
00:24:01 Hey, Sherry.
00:24:02 Are you coming?
00:24:04 I have the cake.
00:24:05 We're coming.
00:24:06 Why are you doing this to me?
00:24:08 Why does everything have to be about you?
00:24:13 Oh, well, I'm your baby sister.
00:24:16 I need you here.
00:24:19 Enter P.A.'s All-American Shrimp Steak with a grocery purchase of $50 or more
00:24:23 and win two round-trip tickets to our native, rural, coastal Philadelphia.
00:24:28 What do you want me to say?
00:24:29 I can't get any cooperation around here.
00:24:31 Maren, off the phone, huh?
00:24:33 Honey, I'm going to have to call you back.
00:24:36 You ever going to bring me my cake?
00:24:38 What do you want to go there for?
00:24:40 You said we were going to Europe in the fall.
00:24:51 Breaking the chain.
00:24:55 That's not it.
00:25:01 I'm not going to Europe.
00:25:08 I'm going to stay with you.
00:25:09 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:10 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:11 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:12 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:13 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:14 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:15 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:16 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:17 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:18 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:19 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:20 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:21 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:22 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:23 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:24 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:25 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:26 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:27 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:28 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:29 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:30 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:31 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:32 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:33 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:34 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:35 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:36 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:37 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:38 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:39 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:40 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:41 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:42 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:43 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:44 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:45 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:46 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:48 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:49 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:50 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:51 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:52 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:53 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:54 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:55 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:56 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:57 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:58 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:25:59 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:00 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:01 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:02 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:03 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:04 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:05 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:06 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:07 I'm not going to stay with you.
00:26:08 Food is lousy.
00:26:09 They make these tiny little sandwiches.
00:26:10 And all that walking you got to do it.
00:26:12 That's a fortune of love and shoes.
00:26:14 Don't you have any sense of appreciation of beauty?
00:26:26 The only time that I've been out of the country
00:26:29 is when I went to Canada with Ted.
00:26:31 Look where beauty got him, huh?
00:26:33 In the ball house.
00:26:35 What are you complaining about, huh?
00:26:37 You have a house, a pool, a fancy car.
00:26:40 It's always in the shop.
00:26:42 So it's in the shop.
00:26:43 It's still yours.
00:26:44 It's got a license.
00:26:45 It reads "Swell 2," huh?
00:26:47 Look, what do you want, Marilyn?
00:26:49 What else?
00:26:50 What do you want?
00:26:51 What?
00:26:52 Look, I'm not saying that Ted is a better man than you.
00:26:54 He's a bum.
00:26:55 Don't you call my father a bum.
00:26:57 Look, any man who don't support his kid is a bum.
00:27:00 He's a bum.
00:27:01 He's a bum.
00:27:02 He's a bum.
00:27:03 Any man who don't support his kid is a bum.
00:27:05 Give me that, and it's mine.
00:27:07 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:27:09 What do you think you're doing?
00:27:10 Cut it out.
00:27:11 What do you think you're doing, you little buggers?
00:27:14 Grandpa!
00:27:16 What are you wearing those crosses for?
00:27:19 You're a little Jewish girl.
00:27:20 Didn't you know that?
00:27:21 Dear Reverend Tom,
00:27:29 You and only you have helped me to see the way each day.
00:27:33 Even in my saddest times,
00:27:38 when I feel like the little meatball
00:27:42 that's first to be eaten on a plate of spaghetti,
00:27:45 I know the work of God is being done.
00:27:49 And I become happy
00:27:52 accepting myself for exactly who I am.
00:27:57 I know that evil will get its just due in this world,
00:28:00 but it's hard waking up to it each day.
00:28:04 I am sending you another $50
00:28:08 so that you can keep on helping people like me.
00:28:11 I love you very much.
00:28:14 Hugs and kisses,
00:28:16 Estel Rodriguez.
00:28:18 Freeze!
00:28:25 [Groans]
00:28:27 [Music]
00:28:54 Qu'est-ce que c'est?
00:28:56 I said, I'm going to turn that music down, young lady.
00:29:00 [Music]
00:29:16 I didn't know it was bothering anyone.
00:29:18 It should take a minute to clean this thing out
00:29:20 before you go sunbathing.
00:29:23 Well, I thought it would be okay to relax for a few minutes.
00:29:27 I only slept an hour on the plane.
00:29:29 Your sister's been cleaning up out here all year.
00:29:34 Am I supposed to feel guilty because I've been away at school?
00:29:39 Don't be ridiculous.
00:29:40 I'm just saying you're going to have to help out around here this summer.
00:29:43 Who said I wouldn't help?
00:29:45 It's just, I came home to try to get some writing done.
00:29:49 Forgot about all the promotion.
00:29:51 I don't know how you can forget.
00:29:53 I thought you said you were going to work.
00:29:58 That is work, Mom.
00:30:02 I only paid for my own ticket.
00:30:08 Look, you had a job at the university.
00:30:13 When I was your age, I never took a vacation.
00:30:16 When you were my age, you were married and pregnant with me.
00:30:20 No difference.
00:30:21 There is a difference.
00:30:23 It's a different world, Mom.
00:30:25 God, you will just never let me be
00:30:27 because I didn't work at Sparky Shoe Repair for ten bucks a week when I was thirteen.
00:30:32 My father wanted me to learn the value of a dollar.
00:30:35 I never expected to live off of them when I was grown up.
00:30:42 Don't worry.
00:30:43 I don't expect anything from you.
00:30:45 Besides, look who's talking.
00:30:49 You live in your parents' house and your husband hardly has a job.
00:30:52 He is a responsible man.
00:30:54 He brings in a good living.
00:30:55 More than your own father.
00:30:57 Hey, I know that guy.
00:31:05 Fact or fiction?
00:31:06 You need a reason to sue somebody.
00:31:08 Fiction.
00:31:10 Fact or fiction?
00:31:11 You need substantial evidence or a reliable eyewitness to prove a crime.
00:31:16 Fiction again.
00:31:18 Fact or fiction?
00:31:20 You don't need lots of money to take legal action.
00:31:24 Fact.
00:31:26 He got Barry a lot of money when he sued Pants Galore.
00:31:30 Why'd he sue him?
00:31:32 He made it look like he tripped on the hanger
00:31:34 and then he made it look like it was their fault.
00:31:37 This guy got him a lot of money.
00:31:39 Lewis, Lewis, Lewis and Clark.
00:31:42 Four fellas you can trust.
00:31:46 That's 1-800-GET-THEM.
00:31:51 Don't be a wimp.
00:31:53 Send your kid to college.
00:31:55 You must be Marty.
00:32:11 I'm the handyman.
00:32:14 Hold on.
00:32:15 Marty?
00:32:28 Yeah, I'm Marty.
00:32:32 Malcolm.
00:32:33 You met Ernest here?
00:32:35 Ernest.
00:32:37 English?
00:32:40 That's right. Born and raised.
00:32:42 But I live in Manhattan now.
00:32:45 I always thought moms and dads were supposed to love each other.
00:32:51 Wendy, someone at the door for you.
00:32:58 For me?
00:32:59 This is Malcolm here, Papa. He's from Great Britain.
00:33:05 What are you studying this year, mija?
00:33:12 Literature, philosophy.
00:33:15 Well, that sounds interesting.
00:33:17 It is.
00:33:25 Your hair's so pretty.
00:33:28 You're all grown up.
00:33:36 Oh, yeah.
00:33:38 Oh, yeah.
00:33:39 You know, you should think about college one day, Estelle.
00:33:46 No, really, I mean it.
00:33:52 You're only four years older than me.
00:33:54 Come on, let's go.
00:33:57 I meant to get you a present for your birthday, but I forgot.
00:34:04 I promise I'm gonna get you one this summer.
00:34:06 Don't be silly.
00:34:07 I came here in 1921.
00:34:09 My parents packed me away in a pot-bellied stove.
00:34:13 What are you doing here?
00:34:20 Caught an early flight on standby.
00:34:22 Been up all night.
00:34:24 Too much coke.
00:34:26 You look smart.
00:34:28 Could use a swim myself.
00:34:36 Can you believe these dogs? Always the same story.
00:34:39 Mom, this is Malcolm.
00:34:41 Hello.
00:34:42 Hello.
00:34:44 I must say, beauty certainly does run in the family.
00:34:48 Oh.
00:34:49 I just wanted to show him your bathroom, Mom.
00:34:51 Oh, it's a trip.
00:34:53 Oh, I hope Marty didn't leave it in the mess.
00:34:57 [phone ringing]
00:34:59 Fuck.
00:35:11 Marty, what am I gonna do with you?
00:35:15 It's...
00:35:18 Oh, do it.
00:35:20 It's, um...
00:35:22 It's...
00:35:25 [grunts]
00:35:26 Absolutely fabulous.
00:35:28 [grunts]
00:35:29 There's the damn cake!
00:35:32 Oh, Jesus.
00:35:34 That kid, English, you know?
00:35:37 What?
00:35:38 You know...
00:35:40 Him?
00:35:42 Nah, not him.
00:35:44 No, I'm telling you, Ernie.
00:35:46 Wendy told me.
00:35:47 I've known plenty of 'em where I've been.
00:35:50 They ain't like 'em.
00:35:51 Hey, this is the more refined kind.
00:35:54 Different kind of breed.
00:35:56 I saw the way he looked at Wendy back there.
00:35:59 It's time to go home, man.
00:36:01 I found it!
00:36:03 Let's go.
00:36:04 [sighs]
00:36:05 This is my grandparents' house.
00:36:08 You know, all the best memories I have of being a kid were here.
00:36:11 Oh, look, the waterfall's working.
00:36:13 I love the waterfall.
00:36:15 Do you see this rock garden?
00:36:17 I love the rock garden.
00:36:19 My grandpa built this for me.
00:36:21 Well, I helped him.
00:36:22 I helped him pick out all the little people and little animals.
00:36:25 There's the goose.
00:36:26 There's the bunny.
00:36:27 Chipper the bunny.
00:36:28 I call him Chipper because he looks so chipper.
00:36:31 And there's the turtle, and this is the princess.
00:36:35 Oh, and the elf.
00:36:36 I love the elf.
00:36:37 He's my favorite.
00:36:38 I used to spend hours sitting next to that elf.
00:36:41 Any chance of a little drink here?
00:36:43 [knocking]
00:36:47 So what are we waiting for?
00:36:49 I can't leave right now, doll.
00:36:51 Ernie's here.
00:36:52 Don't mind me.
00:36:54 No, I can't leave my right-hand man all alone while I'm having a ball at the party.
00:36:58 Maybe you want to come?
00:37:02 Uh, Marty, could I talk to you for a second?
00:37:05 All right, Ernie. All right, all right, all right.
00:37:08 Help me!
00:37:10 I'm not taking him to Sherry's.
00:37:12 He's a thief.
00:37:13 He just got out of jail.
00:37:15 Sometimes I gotta tell you, he didn't do it.
00:37:17 He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
00:37:20 You know Ernie. He's not too bright.
00:37:22 I mean, he didn't know how to defend himself.
00:37:25 Why do you always have to make things so difficult for me?
00:37:28 Your father lives here, Gran.
00:37:31 Shut up, doll.
00:37:33 I'm getting on.
00:37:36 No, I want to.
00:37:38 It's my house.
00:37:39 I can't swim.
00:37:40 Go buy one.
00:37:43 [music]
00:37:45 Marty distributes to vending machines.
00:37:50 But he used to stock hotel bars.
00:37:54 Wow.
00:37:56 The whole closet's full of his stuff.
00:37:58 It's just sitting around collecting dust.
00:38:00 Nobody touches it.
00:38:02 Cool.
00:38:10 Wow.
00:38:12 Did you get this?
00:38:17 Scored a Q.P. in Washington Square.
00:38:23 What can I say, Ernie?
00:38:25 You can't go anywhere without me.
00:38:27 You don't want to go.
00:38:28 We're going!
00:38:30 Give me it!
00:38:32 [music]
00:38:37 You're such a degenerate.
00:38:39 Maybe you could pay me for half of that.
00:38:49 See, you're smoking it too.
00:38:51 I'm serious.
00:38:58 Just one more hit.
00:39:06 [music]
00:39:08 Bitch!
00:39:24 Mom!
00:39:27 Mom!
00:39:29 Help! Mom!
00:39:32 [music]
00:39:34 Help!
00:39:49 I don't like the sound of that.
00:39:51 [music]
00:39:53 [music]
00:39:55 Will you look at that.
00:40:05 I can't believe it.
00:40:07 Gracie!
00:40:11 Hey, little hero.
00:40:13 Gracie, behind the bubble.
00:40:15 What is going on?
00:40:17 What's wrong, honey?
00:40:19 It's a lie. She fooled me.
00:40:21 Hey, little hero.
00:40:23 Marilyn, call the papers.
00:40:24 What, are you crazy?
00:40:25 I happen to be serious. This is big news item.
00:40:27 Caught, saved by Tyke.
00:40:29 I like that.
00:40:30 Go get me the towel.
00:40:32 I'm telling you, Marilyn, they're going to eat this thing up by tomorrow.
00:40:34 The phone is going to be ringing off the hook.
00:40:36 Oh, just what we need.
00:40:38 [music]
00:40:40 [music]
00:40:42 Focus.
00:40:58 Focus.
00:41:00 [phone ringing]
00:41:03 [phone ringing]
00:41:05 [phone ringing]
00:41:07 [phone ringing]
00:41:09 [phone rings]
00:41:11 [door creaks open]
00:41:13 [coughs]
00:41:17 Mm.
00:41:19 [door creaks open]
00:41:22 [upbeat music]
00:41:27 [giggles]
00:41:29 [snaps]
00:41:30 [giggles]
00:41:32 [snaps]
00:41:33 [giggles]
00:41:40 Why don't you come on over here and sit next to me?
00:41:43 Come on.
00:41:45 [groans]
00:41:48 [giggles]
00:41:53 [laughs]
00:41:58 [giggles]
00:42:03 [giggles]
00:42:05 [giggles]
00:42:08 [giggles]
00:42:10 [giggles]
00:42:13 Do you remember all the fun we had at the G-Spot last week?
00:42:19 I was totally blasted.
00:42:22 So was I.
00:42:23 [giggles]
00:42:25 [groans]
00:42:29 [giggles]
00:42:31 [giggles]
00:42:34 [groans]
00:42:37 Wendy.
00:42:38 If you don't get off me, I'm gonna fuck your lights out,
00:42:42 and it won't be sweet.
00:42:44 I should call Brian.
00:42:48 What for?
00:42:50 He's out here.
00:42:52 Comes from L.A.
00:42:54 He said he'd take me clubbing.
00:42:58 We'll go to clubs. We'll do all kinds of cool things.
00:43:01 Don't get sarcastic with me.
00:43:02 I'm just so sick and tired of doing this crappy little stupid story.
00:43:06 Put the camera over there.
00:43:08 Wendy, there's paparazzi out here.
00:43:11 Get the keys.
00:43:13 What do you think they want?
00:43:15 I don't know.
00:43:17 If some famous athlete moved in across the street,
00:43:20 there's always shit going on.
00:43:22 Right this way, boys. Come on in.
00:43:35 Channel 81.
00:43:37 Okay, okay.
00:43:43 You stand right here. Are you family?
00:43:45 [giggling]
00:43:47 Are you?
00:43:49 Okay.
00:43:51 Of course you're family. We know that.
00:43:53 Hi, I'm Pam.
00:43:58 Hi.
00:43:59 Nice camera.
00:44:01 I'm the neglected middle child.
00:44:04 What the--?
00:44:06 Caught. Saved by tank. That was my idea.
00:44:09 For the record, Tracy, she's my half-sister.
00:44:12 Think you could spit some water out of your mouth?
00:44:15 Oh, must be the times.
00:44:17 Are you family?
00:44:19 God, no.
00:44:21 But I live here.
00:44:23 Let's just get a shot over here, all right?
00:44:25 [phone ringing]
00:44:27 Hello?
00:44:31 [slurping]
00:44:33 Marty, would you get that first aid kit?
00:44:36 [crying]
00:44:38 My name's Steve, and this is Rafael.
00:44:50 We're from the Helping Hands program.
00:44:52 We're asking for donations from the community
00:44:54 to help send inner-city kids like Rafael to summer camp.
00:44:57 Oh.
00:44:59 Will you take a check?
00:45:01 Sure.
00:45:03 Okay, just a minute.
00:45:05 Oh, what a babe.
00:45:09 Will you take cash?
00:45:13 No problem.
00:45:15 Okay.
00:45:17 [dog barking]
00:45:19 I'm the boss surgeon. I'm the boss.
00:45:22 Can we take pictures here of me and my two girls?
00:45:24 I'm directing the show.
00:45:26 Get that kid back. We need her.
00:45:28 Marty, will you give me 10 bucks?
00:45:30 The water man's here.
00:45:32 What water man? We don't get no water.
00:45:34 Mom ordered it. The tap's disgusting.
00:45:37 It's true. Tap water is very unhealthy.
00:45:41 They only give us filter in this climate.
00:45:44 Yeah, well, I just don't like ordering things without informing me.
00:45:47 I'm sure it wasn't oversight.
00:45:49 Just give me 10 bucks, Marty.
00:45:51 Well, tell him to wait. I'm busy here.
00:45:56 Don't get smart with me.
00:45:58 Okay.
00:46:00 She could have at least come in with a close-up.
00:46:02 I mean, nice tight shot of the kid.
00:46:04 Do you have 10 bucks?
00:46:06 It's for a good cause.
00:46:08 Let me see.
00:46:10 [car horn honks]
00:46:12 [dog barking]
00:46:14 Wendy!
00:46:16 Can we get this honey old little child of yours?
00:46:18 We need to get the pedicure, outfits, space.
00:46:20 You need it now completely.
00:46:22 Brian!
00:46:24 Dude.
00:46:26 Mowky, you're here.
00:46:28 Yeah.
00:46:32 Yeah, I'm here.
00:46:34 Aren't you going to the freaking party?
00:46:36 Welcome to Smelly, baby.
00:46:38 [laughs]
00:46:40 [sighs]
00:46:44 Shit.
00:46:48 I know Mom keeps 100 bucks in here somewhere for emergencies.
00:46:52 I'm sorry, Pammy.
00:46:54 I'm just going to have to wait until your mommy pays me next.
00:46:56 Dang, Estelle!
00:47:00 Why do you have to give all your money to that stupid preacher?
00:47:02 Guys, look.
00:47:08 You've got to put your camera right about here.
00:47:10 Where are you?
00:47:12 In the valley.
00:47:14 Nah, it sucks.
00:47:16 With Wendy?
00:47:18 That wench.
00:47:20 You want to see me, don't you?
00:47:22 Yeah.
00:47:24 Yeah.
00:47:26 [phone ringing]
00:47:28 Huh?
00:47:30 Thank you.
00:47:32 Watch out for the shadow.
00:47:34 Why don't you get that pretty little butt of yours up here
00:47:36 and join the party?
00:47:38 Huh?
00:47:40 No, I'm coming.
00:47:42 I'm coming.
00:47:44 Trust me.
00:47:46 Mom, I'm so sorry.
00:47:48 I'm going to have to put a cap on this kind of thing.
00:47:50 Mom, the water man.
00:47:52 I'm stuck with your story about that water man.
00:47:54 I am not giving you money for drugs.
00:47:56 What's all the racket?
00:48:00 We're going to be in the news, Pop.
00:48:02 It's Grandpa.
00:48:04 Grandpa Mo Swell to you.
00:48:06 I'm in hell.
00:48:08 I'm in hell.
00:48:10 I'm in swell hell.
00:48:12 Then we're going to go on Saturday.
00:48:14 We're going to go to the state.
00:48:16 For the house.
00:48:18 Not now, Dad. I've got my hands full.
00:48:20 Go ahead, Ernie. Get the door.
00:48:24 Okay, let's do a rehearsal.
00:48:26 Look right into the camera and tell us what happened.
00:48:28 I was trying to help her get the raft out of the pool
00:48:32 and then she fell in.
00:48:34 I yelled for help, but no one heard me.
00:48:36 They had the TV on.
00:48:38 Don't say that, Tracy. I mean...
00:48:40 Oh, Jesus, Pop. What is it?
00:48:44 For the house.
00:48:46 Well, that's really sweet of you, Pop.
00:48:50 Look here, Ernie.
00:48:52 Pop's contributing. You see this, Marilyn?
00:48:54 It's a very thoughtful gesture.
00:48:56 Where did you get these, Pop?
00:48:58 Carl's Jr.
00:49:02 Carl's Jr.?
00:49:04 No kidding.
00:49:06 You'll never guess who I saw
00:49:08 while I was there.
00:49:10 Cary Grant.
00:49:12 Cary Grant's dead, Pop.
00:49:14 No, no, it was Cary Grant.
00:49:16 Handsome devil.
00:49:18 But I kept saying to myself,
00:49:20 "What is Cary Grant doing in Carl's Jr.?"
00:49:22 Let me see that face.
00:49:36 Perfect. Perfect.
00:49:38 Okay. Hold that, okay?
00:49:40 It's the best I can do.
00:49:42 I don't think you understand, Mary.
00:49:44 We need funds to help send the kids
00:49:46 to the summer camp.
00:49:48 You mean you don't want it?
00:49:50 Fine, you don't want it.
00:49:54 I hate this house.
00:50:00 This is not what I expected.
00:50:06 It's nothing like what I expected.
00:50:08 What did you expect?
00:50:10 What did I expect?
00:50:12 A little bit more than this shit.
00:50:14 A bunch of weirdos.
00:50:16 Hey, Stell.
00:50:22 Want to go to church?
00:50:24 Hey, Stell.
00:50:30 You want to come to church with me?
00:50:32 Fuck.
00:50:36 Fuck.
00:50:38 Sucks!
00:50:40 Why can't you drive me to Brian's?
00:50:44 You were supposed to come here to see me.
00:50:46 We were supposed to be together.
00:50:48 Brian's parents are gone for the summer.
00:50:50 He's all alone
00:50:52 in some huge mansion in Bel-Air.
00:50:54 Brian's a creep.
00:50:56 He's okay company
00:51:00 if you're not sober.
00:51:02 (phone rings)
00:51:04 Well, give me 20 bucks.
00:51:12 I'll take a cab.
00:51:16 I blew all my money coming back from duty free.
00:51:20 Dad will wire me
00:51:22 some more cash tomorrow.
00:51:24 I don't have 20 bucks.
00:51:26 Ask your mother.
00:51:30 You are so pathetic.
00:51:32 You are the most selfish,
00:51:34 immature narcissist.
00:51:36 At least I'm not some
00:51:38 pretentious suburban wannabe
00:51:40 like you.
00:51:42 Leave! Leave if you want!
00:51:46 Fine.
00:51:48 I guess I'll just have to call Brian then,
00:51:50 won't I?
00:51:52 Ask him to come and pick me up.
00:51:54 (phone rings)
00:51:56 (sobs)
00:52:02 Dad...
00:52:04 (sobs)
00:52:06 (sobs)
00:52:08 (indistinct chatter)
00:52:16 Excuse me, sir.
00:52:22 Mr. Swell, Mr. Swell,
00:52:24 can you please come over here?
00:52:26 Yes, we want to interview you and ask you what happened.
00:52:28 Okay.
00:52:30 You're kind of like Lawrence Welk, huh?
00:52:32 A little bit.
00:52:34 Okay. (laughs)
00:52:38 How have you been?
00:52:40 Oh, fine. How are you?
00:52:42 I'm good. Okay.
00:52:44 You look great.
00:52:46 Thank you.
00:52:50 Do you want to...
00:52:52 do you want to go to church sometime?
00:52:54 You go to church?
00:52:56 Yeah.
00:52:58 Really? I didn't think of you as a church man, really.
00:53:00 (laughs)
00:53:02 I'm a church man, yeah.
00:53:04 Saint Christopher.
00:53:06 Oh, that's beautiful.
00:53:08 (phone rings)
00:53:10 (phone rings)
00:53:18 (phone rings)
00:53:20 (phone rings)
00:53:22 (phone rings)
00:53:24 (phone rings)
00:53:28 (phone rings)
00:53:30 You know, like, so what?
00:53:32 So we didn't get to the party, so what?
00:53:34 Big deal. We could always go to that party.
00:53:36 I mean, how many times do we get to be on the news, huh?
00:53:38 On the phone calling and TV,
00:53:40 and everyone's gonna watch you.
00:53:42 Your family priest might see you back in, you know,
00:53:44 New York, who knows, New Jersey.
00:53:46 This is really great.
00:53:48 We can't blow this one, Marilyn.
00:53:50 We gotta have this one.
00:53:52 What a day, all this excitement.
00:53:54 No different from any other day.
00:53:56 Right, hon?
00:53:58 You know, I've had it with these backyard stories.
00:54:02 I want to do hard news.
00:54:06 (sighs)
00:54:12 (sighs)
00:54:14 (sighs)
00:54:16 (sighs)
00:54:18 Thanks so much for the hospitality.
00:54:28 Oh, you're most welcome.
00:54:30 (laughs)
00:54:32 Any time, Judy.
00:54:34 (sobs)
00:54:42 (sobs)
00:54:44 Wendy?
00:54:50 You all right?
00:54:54 Leave me alone.
00:54:56 Leave me alone.
00:55:00 I know, I know your friend left
00:55:04 and you're upset about it.
00:55:06 You don't understand.
00:55:10 Well, he seemed to take it very well.
00:55:12 (sobs)
00:55:16 What is it, honey?
00:55:20 What is it?
00:55:22 Oh!
00:55:26 What is it, Casanova?
00:55:28 What is it?
00:55:30 I'm in love with him.
00:55:38 Oh.
00:55:40 Well, he seemed to be a very nice young man.
00:55:42 He's not.
00:55:46 He said he was coming here to see me.
00:55:50 He just ended up using me for his own pathetic purposes.
00:55:54 (sobs)
00:56:06 Have you two been intimate?
00:56:08 Yes.
00:56:14 And then he just pretended like it didn't even happen.
00:56:18 I hate men.
00:56:22 And I hate Marty.
00:56:28 Him and that disgusting convict chased him away.
00:56:30 No, you don't know that.
00:56:32 I do.
00:56:34 (sighs)
00:56:36 You're so low class.
00:56:38 You know, nobody even understands why you married that pig.
00:56:40 Wendy, please.
00:56:44 Why did you marry him?
00:56:46 (sniffs)
00:56:54 Well, he used to be really nice to me.
00:56:56 (sniffs)
00:57:02 (sniffs)
00:57:04 Now, there's a little kind of a business matter
00:57:12 I've been meaning to talk to you about.
00:57:16 Oh, no.
00:57:18 I ain't done my time.
00:57:20 No, wait, wait.
00:57:22 Ernie, baby, that was not my fault, okay?
00:57:24 I mean, I just sold him the machine.
00:57:26 How was I supposed to know
00:57:28 that these bums were gonna put a alarm on it?
00:57:30 I mean, who ever heard of such a thing, huh?
00:57:32 A lock, maybe, but not an alarm.
00:57:34 I'll try to get you out of there.
00:57:40 Yeah?
00:57:44 Well, thanks for coming to visit.
00:57:48 And the cookies.
00:57:50 (laughs)
00:57:52 Hey, the least I can do for my partner, huh?
00:57:54 Hmm?
00:57:58 Now, look, this situation,
00:58:00 no risk, huh?
00:58:02 Marilyn's got this coat.
00:58:08 Mink coat, huh?
00:58:10 She don't use it no more because it's a gift I got her,
00:58:12 you know, about ten years ago when we were dating.
00:58:14 We keep her insurance on it, you know?
00:58:18 So the coat is still worth a lot.
00:58:22 Get my drift?
00:58:24 Yeah.
00:58:26 Okay.
00:58:28 I think.
00:58:30 Good. What I'm suggesting is
00:58:32 take a look at the coat, huh?
00:58:34 It's in the closet in the study,
00:58:36 in Estelle's room.
00:58:38 Estelle ain't there at night
00:58:40 because she's up there watching that preacher man
00:58:42 she's so much in love with, you know?
00:58:44 What I want you to do is
00:58:46 examine the merchandise, okay?
00:58:48 Take the coat with you
00:58:50 and then see if you can find us a buyer.
00:58:52 When we make an insurance claim on it,
00:58:54 we make an insurance claim on it like it's been stolen.
00:58:56 And Marilyn,
00:58:58 she buys herself a new coat.
00:59:00 Hey,
00:59:02 she's gonna be a lot more happier.
00:59:04 And we keep the money.
00:59:06 Exactly, yeah.
00:59:08 50/50 this time.
00:59:10 Partner.
00:59:12 Wait, hold, hold.
00:59:18 Let Estelle get it. She's the maid.
00:59:20 Estelle, the doorbell.
00:59:22 [doorbell rings]
00:59:24 Oh, hi Mike.
00:59:30 Is Wendy here?
00:59:32 She's in her room.
00:59:34 You can go in back.
00:59:36 Hey, hey, hi Mike.
00:59:38 How's school?
00:59:40 Good, Mr. Swell, real good.
00:59:42 Hmm.
00:59:44 I'm joining the college track team this fall.
00:59:48 Important for a man to be able to run, huh?
00:59:50 [laughs]
00:59:52 Hello?
01:00:00 [siren]
01:00:02 It's for you.
01:00:06 Might as well.
01:00:12 Thank you.
01:00:16 Shut it, you lying prick.
01:00:18 I haven't seen him since the day we met.
01:00:20 Peggy, calm down.
01:00:22 Take it easy.
01:00:24 [coughs]
01:00:26 Wendy?
01:00:38 Mike?
01:00:46 I heard you were home.
01:00:48 [laughs]
01:00:50 Home, huh?
01:00:54 Gosh, it was a place that felt like home.
01:00:56 Tell me about it.
01:01:04 I've been home a week.
01:01:06 My parents are already driving me nuts.
01:01:08 [radio static]
01:01:10 [siren]
01:01:12 I'm headed back to Berkeley tonight.
01:01:30 Tonight?
01:01:32 How am I going to hang out with all summer?
01:01:34 You want to do a bong hit?
01:01:36 Why not?
01:01:38 What?
01:01:40 Fuck reality.
01:01:42 I can just see you in New York.
01:01:56 Sitting in the back of a cab.
01:01:58 Going down Fifth Avenue.
01:02:00 Smoking a doobie.
01:02:02 Why don't you come and visit?
01:02:04 Yeah.
01:02:06 [music]
01:02:08 [music]
01:02:10 [music]
01:02:30 [music]
01:02:32 You should come to Berkeley if you want to get away.
01:02:44 I'll make you bed on the dorm floor.
01:02:48 [music]
01:02:52 [music]
01:02:54 Sometimes I just fantasize about never coming back.
01:03:04 Mike?
01:03:12 Did you see a car here when you drove up?
01:03:14 Your mom's car?
01:03:16 No. Marty's. The Caddy.
01:03:18 My mom's is in the shop.
01:03:20 No, I don't think so.
01:03:22 Oh, God.
01:03:34 What's wrong?
01:03:36 No, no, no.
01:03:38 He couldn't have done that to me.
01:03:40 That's just way too fucked.
01:03:42 That's just way too fucked.
01:03:44 What's going on?
01:03:46 [police sirens]
01:03:48 Okay, maybe they went.
01:03:52 Maybe Mom went alone.
01:03:54 Maybe Marty left with that jerk.
01:03:56 Is there something I can do?
01:03:58 Listen, Mike. I think something really bad has gone down.
01:04:00 I mean, really bad.
01:04:02 Are you sure you're not just being paranoid?
01:04:04 I don't know. Maybe.
01:04:06 Oh, God. I hope so.
01:04:08 I think. I'm not sure.
01:04:10 Listen. Can you just hang out a second?
01:04:14 You just might be witness to a murder.
01:04:16 Mine.
01:04:18 [music]
01:04:20 [radio playing]
01:04:46 [music]
01:04:48 Oh! You scared me.
01:05:08 What is it?
01:05:10 Um, nothing. I thought maybe you went to the party.
01:05:12 After today?
01:05:14 Forget it. I'm pooped.
01:05:16 I'll take Sherry for breakfast this week.
01:05:18 For her birthday.
01:05:20 Oh, dinner.
01:05:22 Maybe we'll get takeout. Maybe Thai?
01:05:24 Delivery?
01:05:26 Yeah. I'll have it delivered. I'm not going anywhere.
01:05:28 Okay. That's a good idea, Mom.
01:05:30 You look tired.
01:05:32 You rest, okay?
01:05:34 Okay.
01:05:36 [clears throat]
01:05:42 [phone ringing]
01:05:44 Hello?
01:05:56 Hi. Uh, Mrs. Thomas?
01:05:58 Yeah. Hi. This is, uh, Wendy.
01:06:00 Wendy?
01:06:02 Wendy Schuman. You know, Malcolm's friend?
01:06:04 You were here for dinner last week, weren't you?
01:06:06 We had lamb.
01:06:08 Yeah. Right. Right.
01:06:10 Oh, Malcolm's on his way out to see you, isn't he?
01:06:12 Has he arrived yet?
01:06:14 No.
01:06:16 No, he's not here yet.
01:06:18 No, I'm expecting him later.
01:06:20 Yeah.
01:06:22 Um, listen, the reason I'm calling is, um,
01:06:24 I just wanted to know,
01:06:26 do you happen to know Malcolm's friend, Brian?
01:06:28 Brian?
01:06:30 No, I don't think I ever recall a Brian having dinner here.
01:06:32 No, he lives out here in L.A., in Bel Air.
01:06:34 I was wondering if maybe you knew his number.
01:06:36 Why don't you try 412-413-4132?
01:06:38 I don't know his last name.
01:06:40 [phone buzzes]
01:06:42 [phone buzzes]
01:06:44 [phone buzzes]
01:06:46 [phone buzzes]
01:06:48 Yeah, well, see, um, I was thinking, you know,
01:06:50 since Malcolm's coming out to L.A. and everything,
01:06:52 um, that maybe I could get together some of his friends
01:06:54 he knew from school, and maybe we could have a little
01:06:56 welcome-to-L.A. party for him.
01:06:58 Oh.
01:07:00 Yes, I'm sure he'd adore that.
01:07:02 Yeah. [chuckles]
01:07:04 I know how he likes parties.
01:07:06 Look, I'm sorry, dear, I really can't help you,
01:07:08 but I just don't recall a Brian.
01:07:10 No, no, no, that's okay.
01:07:12 I think I have to go now.
01:07:14 Bye-bye, dear.
01:07:16 Yeah, okay.
01:07:18 Bye.
01:07:20 Bye.
01:07:22 Fuck.
01:07:24 What's going on?
01:07:28 Something really awful.
01:07:30 Come on.
01:07:32 It's not a good idea.
01:07:34 You don't understand.
01:07:36 I'm talking about grand theft auto here.
01:07:38 Huh?
01:07:40 All right, look,
01:07:42 this friend of mine came from New York for a visit,
01:07:44 and he stole the car.
01:07:46 Kind of my ex-boyfriend.
01:07:48 Your boyfriend?
01:07:50 Oh, yeah, it's a long, idiotic story,
01:07:52 but this is not just gonna blow over.
01:07:54 Oh, God.
01:07:56 Do you know where he went?
01:07:58 Yeah, to the palace of some queen
01:08:00 named Brian in Bel-Air.
01:08:02 (laughing)
01:08:04 Can't you call his parents?
01:08:06 I tried.
01:08:08 Believe me,
01:08:10 they don't know anything about Brian.
01:08:12 Look, if you know it's in Bel-Air,
01:08:16 the cops are gonna track it down.
01:08:18 I can't believe he did this to me.
01:08:20 (laughing)
01:08:22 It's some vacation.
01:08:26 It's not your fault.
01:08:28 It is.
01:08:30 He was my friend,
01:08:32 and of course it has to be Marty's car.
01:08:34 I just want to disappear and die.
01:08:36 Hey, here it is.
01:08:58 That's me, that's me!
01:09:00 Me, too!
01:09:02 We have two little stars
01:09:26 right here at the table.
01:09:28 Yeah, and one of them nearly had to drown to get there.
01:09:30 Why do you always have to be so negative?
01:09:32 Tracy, eat your meat crackers.
01:09:34 I don't want to.
01:09:36 It's good, it tastes like candy.
01:09:38 I want candy for dinner.
01:09:40 Where's Wendy?
01:09:42 Probably in her room, sleeping or crying.
01:09:44 I'm gonna go tell her we're eating.
01:09:46 Why do I have to?
01:09:50 Yo, bitch!
01:09:54 (music)
01:09:56 She's not there, Mom.
01:10:04 Maybe she went out.
01:10:06 Well, she better not take the car.
01:10:08 She's not insured.
01:10:10 I thought you said you were gonna take care of that for the summer.
01:10:12 Not in my car.
01:10:14 She'll drive yours when she gets out of the shop.
01:10:16 This calls for a celebration.
01:10:18 For the hero.
01:10:20 And the heary.
01:10:22 (applause)
01:10:24 Anyone got a danish or something for a candle?
01:10:26 My sister's cake.
01:10:28 There you go.
01:10:30 We might as well use it.
01:10:32 Sometimes I envy Estelle.
01:10:36 Having something to belong to.
01:10:40 Something to believe in.
01:10:42 (singing)
01:10:44 (singing)
01:10:46 (singing)
01:10:48 (singing)
01:10:50 (singing)
01:10:52 (singing)
01:10:54 (singing)
01:10:56 (singing)
01:10:58 (singing)
01:11:00 (singing)
01:11:02 (singing)
01:11:04 (singing)
01:11:06 (singing)
01:11:08 (singing)
01:11:10 (singing)
01:11:12 (singing)
01:11:14 (singing)
01:11:16 There's less than a few hours ago,
01:11:18 I still thought someday I'd have a little flat with Malcolm.
01:11:20 Maybe a family.
01:11:22 Fantasies.
01:11:26 How much they fulfill.
01:11:28 The true sense of the word.
01:11:30 They fill you up.
01:11:32 When you've been away a while,
01:11:36 you think your family has the potential to be the Brady Bunch.
01:11:38 And it's just your bad attitude that's causing the rupture.
01:11:40 But then you get home,
01:11:46 and you realize that it's much more than that.
01:11:48 That you never felt connected in the first place.
01:11:52 If you ever did,
01:11:56 it was a long time ago.
01:12:00 Why do we need to connect?
01:12:14 The highest good
01:12:16 we can strive for
01:12:18 is to live with happiness
01:12:20 and contentment.
01:12:22 Webster's Dictionary defines contentment
01:12:24 as the ability
01:12:26 to be happy
01:12:28 with what one has
01:12:30 or is.
01:12:32 Not desiring something more or different
01:12:34 to be satisfied.
01:12:36 The Bible tells us
01:12:38 to bless those who persecute you.
01:12:40 You needed anything, Pop?
01:12:42 It's drafty in here.
01:12:44 I'll get you some extra blankets, huh?
01:12:48 Why can't we just get by alone?
01:12:54 In our own little bubbles.
01:12:58 In our own little bubbles.
01:13:00 In our own little bubbles.
01:13:02 [music]
01:13:04 [music]
01:13:32 Connections.
01:13:34 They seem so fleeting.
01:13:36 They come and go,
01:13:44 but we want to hold on to them.
01:13:46 [music]
01:13:48 Marty, slow down!
01:14:10 [music]
01:14:12 Life obviously involves
01:14:24 a lot more alone time
01:14:26 than it does together time.
01:14:28 [music]
01:14:30 Even though together
01:14:42 is what we seem to strive for.
01:14:44 [music]
01:14:46 [music]
01:14:48 Oh, my God!
01:15:00 Oh, my God.
01:15:08 Give me a hug, please.
01:15:10 [music]
01:15:12 I thought I heard something.
01:15:26 You scared me.
01:15:28 You scared the shit out of me.
01:15:30 What are you doing?
01:15:32 I'm hiding. Don't tell.
01:15:34 Why?
01:15:36 [music]
01:15:38 Malcolm stole the car.
01:15:40 No way.
01:15:42 Are we going to bust him?
01:15:46 I'm going to be back in New York.
01:15:50 I'm leaving Mom a full electronic explanation.
01:15:54 Do you ever see Dad in New York?
01:16:00 Sometimes.
01:16:02 On holidays.
01:16:04 He sent me to
01:16:06 stuff walrus last Christmas.
01:16:08 Remember how he used to love
01:16:10 walruses?
01:16:12 When I was six.
01:16:14 Yeah, well,
01:16:16 I guess that's where he kind of left off.
01:16:18 You're so lucky.
01:16:22 I mean, you can just go.
01:16:24 I'm still in prison.
01:16:26 You'll be out soon.
01:16:28 When I get older,
01:16:30 I'm going to be a singer
01:16:32 in a really cool band.
01:16:34 I'm going to blow everyone away.
01:16:36 You watch.
01:16:38 I'm going to go on tour
01:16:40 all around the world.
01:16:42 And my picture's going to be
01:16:46 plastered everywhere.
01:16:48 And when they want to see me,
01:16:50 they're going to have to pay.
01:16:52 Big time.
01:16:54 Good night.
01:17:00 Good night.
01:17:02 I love you.
01:17:08 I love you too, sis.
01:17:12 I love you too.
01:17:14 [music]
01:17:16 [music]
01:17:18 [music]
01:17:20 [music]
01:17:22 (crickets chirping)
01:17:25 (door slamming)
01:17:30 (lighthearted music)
01:17:34 (lighthearted music)
01:17:37 - You can just drop me off at SFO.
01:17:55 I'll wait for the next flight.
01:17:57 - You sure you don't wanna come across the bay?
01:18:00 You can crash at my place for a while.
01:18:03 (lighthearted music)
01:18:05 - No.
01:18:06 I gotta get back to New York, you know?
01:18:09 Recruit for the summer.
01:18:11 I can get my old job back at school.
01:18:17 Oh, I need the drive though, you know?
01:18:22 Clear my head.
01:18:23 Clear out.
01:18:25 Mike?
01:18:31 - Do you ever wonder what your kids will be like?
01:18:34 - I wonder if they'll have buck teeth like me.
01:18:37 (laughing)
01:18:38 - Damn, if they'll have buck teeth.
01:18:40 No.
01:18:44 I mean, are they gonna hate us
01:18:46 as much as we hate our parents?
01:18:48 We have the same screwed up relationships.
01:18:53 - Don't know.
01:18:55 They say you end up just like your folks.
01:19:00 (laughing)
01:19:02 - Sorry.
01:19:18 Bong water.
01:19:21 - Come on.
01:19:23 Mike?
01:19:27 Pull over, I think I need air.
01:19:30 (lighthearted music)
01:19:33 (car engine roaring)
01:19:36 (lighthearted music)
01:19:39 (car engine roaring)
01:19:42 (lighthearted music)
01:19:46, (car engine roaring)
01:19:51 (lighthearted music)
01:19:54 - What's wrong?
01:20:14 (sighing)
01:20:16 I just gotta know, things will be different.
01:20:25 There's gotta be a chance, things will change.
01:20:32 I mean, things will be different for us.
01:20:37 They will be, when we have our own families, right?
01:20:43 (lighthearted music)
01:20:46 Come on.
01:20:51 You can sleep in the car.
01:20:56 I'll wake you when we get there.
01:20:59 - That was my last summer home.
01:21:04 For a long time anyway.
01:21:08 I thought I'd walk away with all the answers,
01:21:11 but I only ended up with more questions.
01:21:14 Never did finish my book.
01:21:19 Maybe it'll take a lifetime to get it right.
01:21:22 Because the more I wonder, the more I write.
01:21:27 (lighthearted music)
01:21:32 (lighthearted music)
01:21:35 (lighthearted music)
01:21:38 (lighthearted music)
01:21:41 (lighthearted music)
01:21:44 (lighthearted music)
01:21:47 (lighthearted music)
01:21:50 (lighthearted music)
01:22:11 (lighthearted music)
01:22:15 (lighthearted music)
01:22:31 (lighthearted music)
01:22:34 (lighthearted music)
01:22:45 (lighthearted music)
01:22:54 (lighthearted music)
01:22:57 (lighthearted music)
01:23:08 (lighthearted music)
01:23:17 (lighthearted music)
01:23:20 (lighthearted music)
01:23:29 (lighthearted music)
01:23:44 (lighthearted music)
01:23:47 (lighthearted music)
01:24:06 (lighthearted music)
01:24:09 (lighthearted music)
01:24:25 (lighthearted music)
01:24:28 (lighthearted music)
01:24:47 (lighthearted music)
01:24:50 (upbeat music)
01:25:00 (upbeat music)
01:25:03 (upbeat music)
01:25:05 (upbeat music)
01:25:08 (upbeat music)
01:25:11 [BLANK_AUDIO]