Brave Najwa Zebian shares her emotional story of abuse, and how she turned her pain into something beautiful.
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00:00abused me in ways that no one would imagine.
00:03I was bullied for being too sensitive.
00:05I was bullied for being too vulnerable,
00:07for being too honest, too kind.
00:09And I started building up walls.
00:12I started guarding myself.
00:14I started not allowing people into my life,
00:16not because I was looking at them and thinking,
00:18you know, you might hurt me,
00:20but because I honestly believed that I didn't deserve
00:23to be welcomed into other people's lives.
00:26I met someone for the first time in my life
00:29who made me feel like I was worthy of being loved,
00:33who made me feel seen.
00:35I was looking to feel heard,
00:38and this person heard me.
00:40This was the person that I wanted
00:41to spend the rest of my life with.
00:42That's how I saw it.
00:43I couldn't imagine my life without that person
00:47until one day when he,
00:49like everyone and everything in my life,
00:52chose to walk away.
00:54And I could not make sense of it.
00:56What did I do?
00:58I went back to that 16-year-old
01:01who blamed herself.
01:03He walked away because of who you are.
01:06He walked away because those things
01:08that you always thought were ugly
01:10and unworthy about you
01:12are still there.
01:14So, I might get a little emotional here.
01:18One night, during one of my hardest times,
01:22my dad pulled up a picture of me when I was this small.
01:26I was holding his hand very tightly,
01:28and he said,
01:31you know, when I was holding your hand in that picture,
01:34I looked in your eyes and I thought,
01:35this girl is going places.
01:38And when I look at you now,
01:40I don't see that look in your eyes.
01:42So, I went to my room that night,
01:45and I looked in the mirror,
01:47and he was right.
01:48I was looking at a person that no longer resembled me.
01:52I looked, and I described this before the same way,
01:55like a sky choking on clouds,
01:57not knowing whether to rain or be sunny or be clear.
02:01I looked like I was choking.
02:03And in that moment,
02:05I decided not to give up on myself now
02:07like I gave up on myself when I was 16.
02:10This time, I wrote.
02:12I wrote about my pain.
02:14I wrote about it,
02:15and as hard as it was,
02:17it healed me.
02:19The deeper I went into my pain,
02:21the higher I rose in courage,
02:24the higher I rose in pride of who I am,
02:28being proud of who I am,
02:29turning your pain into something beautiful,
02:33turning it into nectar
02:34instead of turning it into bitterness or coldness.
02:37That has given me so much conviction
02:40in the fact that our world needs more people
02:45who are not afraid to be human,
02:47not afraid to be vulnerable,
02:49not afraid to show who they are,
02:50not afraid to take risks,
02:52not afraid to stand in front of the world
02:55and raise their voice and say,
02:56this is what happened to me,
02:58and this is how I overcame it.
03:02And one of the biggest things,
03:04the biggest courageous decisions I had to make
03:07was to stand in the face of the person who oppressed me
03:11with everybody who gave him the right to oppress me
03:14and say,
03:15no, I did not deserve this.
03:19This should have never happened to me.
03:22And when I do that,
03:23I tell every one of you
03:25and every person who listens to me,
03:27anything that is not right that happens to you
03:31is not right.
03:32Regardless of who says you deserved it,
03:34you asked for it,
03:35or I don't know whether I should believe you or not,
03:38you lived your story,
03:39just like I lived my story
03:41and I stood in their faces and I said,
03:43this happened to me.
03:45You don't have the right to take away my story from me
03:49because when you do that,
03:51you're taking away that new person that I'm becoming.
03:55So I will end with this.
03:59That man used to tell me,
04:01who do you think you are?
04:03I say,
04:04I'm Najwa Zabian.
04:06I'm a hero.
04:07I'm a fighter.
04:08And I'm a champion.
04:10So if someone asks you this question,
04:12who do you think you are?
04:14What will you say?