Big Cat | Pardon My Take
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00:00 [MUSIC]
00:04 Hi everybody, I'm professional NHL player PK Subban.
00:07 And I'm proud to present a wild display of unprofessional unathleticism.
00:12 >> This is meant for a smaller person than me.
00:14 >> This is the Pardon My Take Hockey Skills Competition, brought to you by ESPN.
00:19 If you like real hockey with actual hockey players, tune in to ABC and
00:24 ESPN Plus for the 2024 Stanley Cup Final.
00:28 Our free agents today are a collection of bar stool employees that vary in skill
00:33 level.
00:33 >> Did you get that?
00:36 >> Picking between washed up college hockey players and big league wannabes to
00:41 beginners and vendors who have never even sniffed a pair of hockey skates.
00:46 [MUSIC]
00:51 >> Back at it again.
00:53 I haven't skated in like a year and a half.
00:56 >> I have a lot of confidence in my eye, but luckily my competition is terrible.
01:01 >> These fucking ice skates are like hard as hell.
01:05 >> Have you ever played hockey?
01:08 >> I'm gonna go out on that ice rink and I'm gonna do a little lap and
01:11 you tell me if I've ever played hockey.
01:13 >> Dude, I've never played, so.
01:14 >> No, you're a hockey guy.
01:15 >> That's exactly what I told you guys was gonna happen.
01:18 >> I'm a fan, all right?
01:20 If you're a fan of fucking basketball,
01:22 does that mean that you can go out there and fucking dump a basketball?
01:24 >> No, I don't know how to play hockey.
01:26 >> Everybody knows I used to play hockey, but not as good as Rudy.
01:31 Not as good as Rudy, Rudy won a national championship.
01:33 I'm just kind of like an old fat guy now.
01:35 >> I can't figure out these laces that keep getting looped together.
01:38 These can't be different than heels, right?
01:40 >> Have you ever skated before?
01:43 >> No, but I wanna do a pirouette.
01:45 And I'm gonna take one of these bitches down like Nancy Kerrigan, okay?
01:48 [MUSIC]
01:51 >> I'm not exactly sure what went into choosing the participants.
01:55 We have some college hockey players.
01:57 We have some people that can skate around, play men's league, good hockey players.
02:01 And then we have guys who have never skated in their life.
02:03 [MUSIC]
02:06 >> I can't do it with my left foot.
02:07 >> Is this my stick to hold me up?
02:10 [MUSIC]
02:17 Yeah, I can't do this.
02:19 >> Holy shit, am I doing it?
02:22 >> Oh, fuck.
02:24 I don't know if I'm gonna be a good asset for this.
02:26 I can't ice skate.
02:27 >> [LAUGH]
02:28 [MUSIC]
02:30 >> What should I do?
02:30 [MUSIC]
02:33 What should I do?
02:34 What should I do?
02:36 >> Give me your hand.
02:38 >> No, I'm gonna take him down.
02:39 I need one of those things.
02:40 One of those, those red things over there.
02:42 [MUSIC]
02:49 I think the key to winning this is just draft.
02:51 Rudy and Riggs, I mean, they gotta be one, two picks.
02:54 Although, Jeff Donnie, state champion.
02:56 But it's just finding the people that can at least skate,
02:59 cuz you can't have that on your team and expect to win.
03:04 I can out-coach Big Cat and PFT, though.
03:05 I know that off the back of my hand.
03:07 You can give me the worst five players and I would still find a way to beat them.
03:11 >> I think it's probably been like 15 years since I've skated.
03:13 [MUSIC]
03:16 Okay, it's like riding a bike.
03:18 I like it cuz it gives me like five extra inches.
03:22 [MUSIC]
03:24 All right, Rudy.
03:25 >> Yeah. >> Who are some sleepers?
03:27 >> Sleeper, I would say would be Frankie.
03:31 >> Okay.
03:32 I heard you're one of the better sneaky picks.
03:35 >> No, no, no, no, that's not true.
03:36 I can't stop.
03:36 >> What about, how's your shot?
03:38 >> I can wrist shot, I can't slap shot.
03:39 I've never even tried on ice.
03:41 >> How accurate are you as a shooter?
03:45 And are you fast?
03:47 >> I'm pretty fast.
03:48 >> How often are you on ice?
03:51 >> This is my first time on ice since fine hockey.
03:54 >> Shit.
03:56 >> Okay, good to know.
03:57 Big Cat or PFT asked you that, Steve.
03:59 >> Yep. >> All the time.
04:00 >> Yeah, okay, got it.
04:01 >> We need a guy that can shoot on my team.
04:04 I think you might be a chief can shoot.
04:06 >> Yeah? >> Chief's got a slap shot.
04:08 I'm also thinking about just drafting brawlers, just get into a fight.
04:11 Take wide socks, Dave.
04:12 >> He'll fall right into you.
04:13 He'll shoot at you.
04:14 >> Donnie.
04:15 >> What? >> You think PFT and
04:16 Big Cat know your hockey history?
04:19 >> I've played goalie my whole life, so I can skate and they can do everything.
04:22 But I'm not gonna be fastest shot, I'm not gonna have accuracy.
04:25 I can skate, so maybe fastest skater, and then goalie challenge.
04:28 I'm gonna win that one, I think.
04:30 >> Fidelberg's here, too.
04:32 The greatest club hockey player in the history of Florida State.
04:35 What are we doing right now, by the way?
04:37 What is this?
04:38 >> I wanna draft Max, too.
04:40 >> Yeah.
04:41 >> Max just for the comedic value of everything.
04:43 >> I'm doing pretty good here.
04:45 >> Yeah, you're crushing it.
04:48 Me too.
04:49 >> I have no interest in putting skates on.
04:51 I will fall, I will look terrible.
04:54 >> Hey, hey, let's go.
04:57 PFT one timer.
04:58 [MUSIC]
05:04 Nice goal.
05:04 >> Thank you. Where's Hank?
05:05 Why isn't he on skates?
05:07 >> I'm coaching.
05:08 >> How are the guys gonna respect you if you're not skating?
05:11 >> Cuz I'm coaching.
05:13 I know my role.
05:14 I got a PFT.
05:17 >> I will not be bullied into wearing skates.
05:19 >> My match skin.
05:21 One timer.
05:22 >> There's no skates left.
05:24 >> Walks on up.
05:24 [MUSIC]
05:29 >> Let's go, boys.
05:31 Hope you get drafted on my team.
05:33 How about Coach Hank not getting on skates?
05:36 >> Yeah, how about that?
05:36 >> Crazy move.
05:38 When you play for my team, I'm skating.
05:43 >> My strategy is honestly just to beat Hank.
05:45 I just wanna beat Hank.
05:46 And Hank's not wearing the skates.
05:47 He's not gonna have respect of his team.
05:49 So I think, I think we should be able to accomplish that.
05:52 I expect to see me and Big Cat in the finals.
05:54 [MUSIC]
05:57 >> Welcome to the Part of My Take Hockey Skills Competition presented by ESPN.
06:02 It's Stanley Cup Final time, so make sure you are watching on ABC and ESPN Plus.
06:07 And in honor of the Stanley Cup Final,
06:09 we've decided to put on our own Hockey Skills Competition here in Chicago.
06:13 >> We have the PMT squad here today.
06:15 We have Big Cat, we have PFT, and we have Hank.
06:19 And each of their teams will be competing in a Hockey Skills Challenge.
06:22 The first will be an accuracy challenge.
06:24 Second will be fastest skater.
06:26 Third will be hardest shot.
06:29 Fourth will be a goalie challenge.
06:31 Scoring for each event will be first place, five points.
06:34 Second place, three points.
06:35 And third place, one point.
06:37 And the winner will be decided between the top two teams with a shootout.
06:42 >> And here's the twist.
06:43 Each coach has the ability to use four different power-ups
06:46 throughout the competition.
06:48 We have a trade where you can trade any player on your team with another player
06:52 on the other team's.
06:54 We have the double up.
06:55 Any points you win in that event will be doubled.
06:58 There's the redo, where your player can go again after the other players have gone.
07:02 And finally, the penalty box.
07:04 Pick a player from another team to go to the penalty box.
07:07 They can't compete in that event.
07:09 Coaches can only play one power-up before an event.
07:12 Once a power-up is played, it's gone.
07:14 You can't play it again.
07:15 >> Big Cat, PFT, and Hank, you will draft a team from these players snake draft style.
07:20 >> Each player on your team has to compete in one event.
07:23 If they've already competed, they can't go again.
07:25 So, Big Cat, PFT, and Hank, let's draft your teams and get started.
07:29 >> You want first pick, Hank?
07:31 I'll take second pick.
07:32 >> I'll go third. >> I want your evens.
07:33 >> No, no, no. >> You take first pick.
07:34 >> I don't want. >> I'll take second pick.
07:35 >> I don't want first pick.
07:36 >> I got third. >> PFT will take third.
07:37 >> I want third.
07:37 >> I want third.
07:38 >> All right, then you take third.
07:39 You take third.
07:40 I'll take second.
07:40 >> I want third.
07:42 >> I do want third.
07:45 >> Ready?
07:45 >> No, wait.
07:47 This is, I mean, this is interesting.
07:48 >> I have a strategy.
07:49 >> I'll give you third.
07:50 >> I have a strategy.
07:51 >> All right, so you guys are just playing odds or evens for third.
07:53 I'll take second.
07:53 >> I want second.
07:54 >> Okay, you said you wanted first.
07:56 >> I never said I wanted first.
07:57 >> Do you want third?
07:58 >> I said no point.
07:58 I had no point that I said I wanted third.
07:59 >> Do you want third?
08:00 You guys go for third.
08:01 >> I want third.
08:01 >> I don't want third.
08:02 You guys go for third.
08:04 >> Go ahead and pick.
08:05 >> I'll do third.
08:05 >> All right, you're third.
08:06 I'll be second, you be first.
08:07 >> Okay, I'll be first.
08:08 >> All right.
08:09 >> All right, first pick overall, the smelliest man in the arena, I'm going with Rudy.
08:14 >> Let's go.
08:14 >> Nice.
08:15 >> Second pick overall, Rigsy Boy, let's go.
08:18 >> Third pick overall, greatest club hockey player in the history of Florida State University.
08:23 >> Let's go.
08:24 >> Let's go.
08:26 I wanted this jersey so bad.
08:27 >> And then we're gonna go with the state champion, Chef Donny.
08:31 >> All right.
08:32 >> My second pick, I'm gonna go with my guy chief.
08:35 >> Good pick.
08:37 >> Jordy.
08:38 >> Nice pick.
08:39 >> And then, I'm gonna go with Max.
08:40 >> Yeah.
08:42 >> He's looking like a beer league Yeramir Yager.
08:44 >> Love it.
08:44 >> I am going with the producer of the number one hockey podcast, Grinnelly.
08:49 >> Mr. Frankie Butterknife Borelli.
08:51 >> Let's spice it up, Joey Camasta.
08:54 >> I love this, I love this.
08:58 We got White Sox Dave.
09:00 >> Yeah, well, it's my pick.
09:01 >> Shit.
09:01 >> White Sox Dave, let's go.
09:04 >> All right, so then I got Nick.
09:07 >> No clap.
09:09 >> I got Nick.
09:10 >> All right, Nick, glad to have you on board.
09:13 >> Yeah.
09:13 >> I have a strategy.
09:17 >> Okay.
09:18 >> Are you guys competing against each other or are you guys just going against me?
09:21 >> All right, now that the teams are drafted and finalized,
09:24 do you guys want to know what you're playing for?
09:26 >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
09:27 >> Look over there.
09:27 [MUSIC]
09:31 >> Look at that.
09:32 >> [APPLAUSE]
09:33 >> The Stanley Cup.
09:35 >> My old friend.
09:35 >> It's here.
09:36 >> [APPLAUSE]
09:38 >> My name might be on there.
09:40 My lips have been on there.
09:41 >> Are you playing hardy with them?
09:42 >> We don't even look at it.
09:43 >> You can't touch it.
09:44 >> We don't look at it.
09:46 >> Yes, the real Stanley Cup is here.
09:48 Now the winners won't actually be going home with it, but
09:50 they will get this, a replica of the Stanley Cup.
09:54 Nice catch, Megan.
09:55 All right, away we go.
09:56 >> Rudy, is that you that just smells horrendous?
10:01 >> Somebody reeks.
10:01 >> But that's why I chose him.
10:02 >> Yeah, you smell.
10:03 >> That means that you play.
10:04 >> The rule of thumb is the worst smelling hockey player is always the best, right?
10:07 >> Okay, I like that.
10:08 >> Here's what we need.
10:09 Who's the fastest out of everyone here?
10:11 >> I mean, Riggs is gonna be the best.
10:12 >> Riggs is fastest.
10:12 All right, so who's the second fastest?
10:14 >> Probably me.
10:15 >> And then what about accuracy and shot?
10:18 Who's got the hardest shot?
10:18 >> I think you got accuracy, you got hard.
10:20 >> Yeah, I feel pretty accurate.
10:21 >> Yeah.
10:22 >> All right, so fastest.
10:23 >> Yeah.
10:25 >> Accuracy, hardest, goalie.
10:27 >> All right, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna make you goalie challenge and
10:30 then I'm gonna trade you.
10:31 >> I don't worry, probably shoots harder than you.
10:34 >> 100%.
10:35 >> I think, I don't shoot hard.
10:36 >> I was gonna say that.
10:38 >> You're gonna give me someone else?
10:39 >> Harder than him.
10:40 >> All right, so the first one is what?
10:40 >> So he should be an accuracy guy for sure.
10:42 >> First one is accuracy, which I will.
10:43 >> So Rudy should go accuracy.
10:45 >> Yeah.
10:46 >> Which, hey, where are you gonna trade?
10:49 >> I'm gonna, so I drafted Max to trade.
10:51 >> Yeah, no, I'm gonna trade with Huck Steve in the goalie challenge with Donny.
10:55 >> I'm thinking about doing it first overall,
10:57 depending on what Hank puts out there.
10:58 >> And then we'll use our penalty boxes on him as well.
11:00 >> Yeah, yeah, okay.
11:02 >> Are we agreed on like us versus Hank?
11:04 >> Yeah. >> Okay.
11:05 >> Rob.
11:06 >> What happens if they trade?
11:07 Can we trade right back if we still have our trade?
11:09 >> Yeah.
11:10 >> If in the event that there's two trades happening at the same time,
11:13 it'll be like a draw straws to see who gets to go first.
11:18 >> So if you trade, then you, like if I trade with PFT, I pick someone from his team?
11:23 >> They become your team.
11:24 >> Got it.
11:25 All right, one of you guys, sorry.
11:26 He's gone forever.
11:27 Well, maybe not, maybe not.
11:28 Are you gonna do trade?
11:30 Let's get it out of the way.
11:33 >> We're gonna set it up and then we can set it up.
11:35 >> PFT, you're doing trade?
11:37 Yeah.
11:38 Hank's gonna screw me, I know he is.
11:39 >> All right, it is time for our first challenge, the accuracy challenge.
11:44 >> And now the coaches will reveal what power up they are using.
11:48 >> Trade.
11:50 >> Trade.
11:51 >> Trade.
11:51 >> [LAUGH]
11:53 >> This was the-
11:55 >> Can someone take a team photo before I
11:56 get traded?
11:57 >> Longest straw gets first pick.
12:01 >> Longest straw.
12:02 I would like to trade, unfortunately, Nick Turani for John Fuddleburg.
12:07 John, congrats.
12:08 >> No.
12:09 >> Yeah, I'm gonna trade Donnie for White Sox Dave.
12:12 >> All right.
12:13 See you guys.
12:14 >> All right, I'm gonna trade Joey Camasa for Donnie.
12:17 >> No, you can't.
12:18 No, Donnie already got traded.
12:20 >> He just got traded back.
12:20 >> No, you can't trade.
12:22 >> That seems like swapping.
12:23 >> You just said that you can't trade back a player.
12:25 >> I didn't hear that.
12:26 >> That makes no sense.
12:28 >> Why? >> I just traded for him.
12:29 >> That's my move.
12:31 >> All right, we got our team.
12:32 >> Yeah, our team's on the ice.
12:33 Let's go, boys.
12:34 I feel really good about our chances out here.
12:36 I think we might be one of the sole players.
12:37 >> I'm going low pony.
12:38 I think that's a weird hockey goalie move.
12:41 >> Yeah, you look Russian.
12:42 >> Yeah.
12:42 >> Yeah.
12:43 >> Hey, we're loaded still.
12:45 >> Yeah, no, we're fine.
12:45 We just traded White Sox save for Joey.
12:48 >> I got thrown out.
12:49 I have to change my costume now?
12:51 >> Thanks.
12:53 >> What just happened?
12:53 >> We've made out like bandits.
12:55 We're in the clear.
12:56 We are in the clear.
12:58 We just traded Joey for White Sox save.
12:59 >> Yeah, that's better.
13:00 >> Slight up there.
13:00 And we got Nick and Fidelary.
13:02 Let's go. >> We lost fights though.
13:04 >> Yeah, we did lose fights.
13:05 >> I don't think you made out like a bandit.
13:06 >> No, I forgot about that.
13:08 >> Cuz I'm not good at it.
13:10 >> I'm not good.
13:10 >> Cuz Joey doesn't have to be on skates.
13:12 You shouldn't have traded Joey.
13:13 You should have traded Frankie.
13:14 >> Yeah.
13:15 >> So, now who's our shooter?
13:16 >> I've never shot, I've never ice skated, Hank.
13:19 >> All right, you're shooting.
13:20 [SOUND]
13:24 >> All right, it is time for
13:26 the accuracy challenge.
13:27 And first up for Team Big Cat, it's Riggs.
13:29 Megan, you will have ten shots, and
13:31 they have to go through the holes if it goes in the goal, but
13:34 off to the side does not count.
13:36 >> All right, and here we go.
13:37 We have Mr. Harvard taking the ice.
13:39 >> All right, Riggs is up.
13:40 >> Go Riggs.
13:41 >> All right.
13:41 >> It's all right.
13:44 It's all right, Riggs.
13:44 [MUSIC]
13:47 >> 0 for 2.
13:47 [MUSIC]
13:49 >> 0 for 3.
13:49 >> 0 for 3, but they're all very close.
13:51 >> They're all very close.
13:52 They have good speed to them.
13:53 [MUSIC]
13:53 >> 0 for 4.
13:54 >> 0 for 4.
13:55 >> I don't know, Riggs.
13:55 Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no.
13:58 [MUSIC]
14:00 >> 0 for 5.
14:01 >> He's been spending way too much time with the golf balls.
14:04 >> He's doing so bad, he's getting meaner.
14:05 >> Daily nine.
14:06 [MUSIC]
14:09 >> There's one.
14:11 >> Yeah, let's go.
14:12 [MUSIC]
14:15 >> Last one, can he get two?
14:16 [MUSIC]
14:17 >> You got it.
14:18 [MUSIC]
14:22 >> Yeah.
14:22 >> All right, two's good, two's good, two's good.
14:25 >> All right, and next for Team PFT, it's Rudy, a former D1 college player.
14:31 Let's see how he does.
14:32 >> All right, Rudy.
14:32 >> That's 0 for 1.
14:35 >> 0 for 1.
14:37 >> 0 for 2.
14:37 >> He's going so quick, man.
14:39 >> 0 for 3.
14:39 >> He's aiming for that bottom left corner.
14:41 >> 0 for 4.
14:42 >> And the pressure's starting to rise.
14:43 >> 0 for 5.
14:44 [MUSIC]
14:46 >> Uh-oh, uh-oh.
14:49 >> 0 for 7.
14:50 >> That wasn't close.
14:51 >> Let's go, Rudy.
14:53 >> This is getting ugly.
14:54 >> 0 for 8.
14:56 >> He needs two to tie.
14:57 >> 0 for 9.
14:59 >> Rudy.
15:00 [MUSIC]
15:04 >> That guy's played D1.
15:06 [LAUGH]
15:07 >> Come on, Frankie, give him hell.
15:09 >> Let's go, Frankie.
15:11 >> Holy shit.
15:12 >> All right, here comes Frankie Borelli representing Team Hank.
15:15 He needs two to tie, three to win the competition, one to guarantee second place.
15:20 >> Just one.
15:21 >> Yeah. >> That seems doable, but
15:22 these targets are super small, Jake.
15:25 >> Got this, let's go, Frankie.
15:26 >> Come on, Frankie.
15:27 [MUSIC]
15:29 >> 0 for 1.
15:30 [MUSIC]
15:32 >> He's right there.
15:33 >> 0 for 2, but he looks good.
15:35 >> Going low.
15:35 >> 0 for 3, but it looks good.
15:36 >> No, that one was close to the triangle.
15:38 >> 0 for 4, he's trying.
15:40 >> Ritzy.
15:43 >> He just needs one.
15:45 He just needs one.
15:47 >> Doesn't look like he's gonna get it here, Jake.
15:49 >> No, he doesn't have it.
15:50 [MUSIC]
15:52 >> No.
15:54 >> He got it.
15:56 >> And that's one for Ritzy Borelli.
15:57 >> Now he can tie for first place.
15:59 [MUSIC]
16:01 >> Last one to tie for first.
16:02 >> This is the tie, if not, they guarantee second.
16:05 [MUSIC]
16:09 >> And Team Big Cat wins the accuracy challenge.
16:13 >> All right, all right.
16:14 You beat Rudy, you beat Rudy.
16:15 >> Let's fucking go.
16:17 Way to go, boys.
16:19 >> All right, we win as a team, we lose as a team.
16:21 But that was Rudy's fucking fault.
16:23 >> All right, after one challenge in the books, Team Big Cat has five points,
16:27 Team Hank with three, and Team PFT, they didn't score in that challenge, but
16:31 they still get one point for third.
16:32 >> That's really nice.
16:33 I mean, I feel like it's a pity point, but I think they'll take it at this point.
16:37 [MUSIC]
16:40 >> Mr. Borelli, how are we feeling after that last performance?
16:43 >> Got a point, got a point against Rudy, national champion, people forget that.
16:47 After my first one that was very close, I'm like, I'm gonna have seven here.
16:51 I thought I was gonna clean and sweep this whole entire thing,
16:53 didn't even come close to that.
16:54 I'm feeling good.
16:55 >> How are we feeling after that performance?
16:58 >> Bad, really bad.
16:59 First of all, the corner should be the target.
17:02 All those shots would have been saved.
17:03 It's hard for me to unplug that from my brain.
17:05 But listen, I'm not a skill guy.
17:06 >> Well, you did a great job out there.
17:08 >> I didn't, thanks though, appreciate it.
17:10 >> Well, you won a point.
17:10 >> We did win a point.
17:11 >> You won one.
17:12 >> I think it comes down to coaching.
17:14 I don't wanna be the one to cast stones, but I feel like-
17:17 >> The good news is Rudy's not gonna be
17:18 thinking about this for the next month before the video comes out.
17:20 >> [LAUGH]
17:21 >> Let's just go skate around, PFT.
17:23 >> That's okay.
17:24 >> I'll break your clavicle.
17:25 >> Seems like tensions are high on Team PFT.
17:29 I'm gonna get the hell out of here.
17:30 >> PFT, PFT, I'm gonna penalty box White Sox Dave here, so
17:36 it forces them to either use Donnie right now or not.
17:39 >> Okay.
17:41 >> And then if they don't use Donnie, save your penalty box for
17:45 the goalie challenge.
17:45 >> Piggot and PFT just keep strategizing over there.
17:50 >> We're hanging out.
17:52 >> We're hanging out.
17:52 >> All right, I'll come hang out.
17:53 >> Come hang out.
17:54 >> What are we doing?
17:55 >> We're hanging out.
17:56 >> It's a free country.
17:57 >> We're hanging out.
18:00 >> What's the problem here?
18:01 >> How do you guys think that first round went?
18:02 >> Good three points.
18:03 >> We got points against two D1 hockey players, that's a win.
18:05 >> Yeah, that's huge, that's huge.
18:06 >> Yeah, it's big.
18:07 >> Okay, all right, next cards.
18:09 >> We're having fun, we're having fun.
18:11 >> Next cards.
18:11 >> I'm not having fun.
18:12 >> Rudy's not having fun.
18:14 >> Right now I think I should play a penalty box on White Sox Dave for
18:20 speed, because then he'd have to use Donnie and
18:23 then he can't use him in the goalie challenge.
18:24 >> That's smart.
18:25 >> I think we have to win this one.
18:27 >> Who's faster than you?
18:28 >> I don't know, I mean, I haven't seen anyone skate at their full speed.
18:30 I have no idea how fast everyone else is.
18:32 >> I trust you, I'm too excellent.
18:34 >> But I was also a goalie, you have to remember that.
18:36 I wasn't a forward.
18:38 I can skate and I can move fast.
18:39 >> You're an athlete.
18:40 >> And I'm an athlete, I guess.
18:41 >> Look at the other options.
18:42 >> All right, it is time for challenge number two, the fastest skater.
18:48 >> Coaches, reveal your power up.
18:50 >> Penalty box.
18:51 >> 2X.
18:52 >> 2X.
18:53 >> I'm putting White Sox Dave in the penalty box.
18:55 >> All right.
18:58 >> Donnie, you're up.
18:59 >> Great.
19:00 Now he can't go on the goalie challenge.
19:02 >> All right.
19:02 >> Love it.
19:03 >> Fuck.
19:04 >> Good play, good strategy.
19:06 >> Can I actually go to the penalty box?
19:08 I feel like I'd be there if I actually played hockey.
19:10 It worked like a charm.
19:14 I think we got the other two teams thinking that it was gonna be me
19:18 doing the speed challenge.
19:19 We planned on having Donnie go the whole time anyways.
19:22 So it worked like a charm.
19:23 Our strategy paid off.
19:24 Now we gotta get some points.
19:25 I think we can win this one.
19:26 >> It was always our plan to have Don escape cuz he's fast.
19:31 And we knew they were gonna bench him for the goalie.
19:33 To think that we wouldn't expect them to bench Donnie for the goalie is idiotic.
19:38 >> So you should penalty box Nick on the next challenge,
19:43 cuz then Nick has to do the goalie challenge.
19:44 >> Yeah.
19:46 >> All right, I got you.
19:47 >> I like our chances.
19:48 I don't.
19:49 >> I don't like our chances.
19:52 >> In this specific one?
19:53 >> No, in the whole thing.
19:55 >> I feel good.
19:58 >> I was saying, I think this is gonna be the only contest the whole time where
20:02 it's three people who can all do it.
20:04 >> Yeah, exactly.
20:05 >> So there's a lot of pressure on this one.
20:07 >> It's pretty evenly matched.
20:08 It's probably the most evenly matched, I don't know, we'll see.
20:10 I haven't gone all out on skates in a while.
20:13 I just don't wanna fall.
20:13 That's the worst thing that happens, losing an edge and you're out.
20:16 [SOUND]
20:20 >> All right, it is time for our second competition, the fastest skater.
20:23 Each skater must skate around the skate trainer plus the goal,
20:28 doing one full lap around the rink.
20:29 Start and finish line is on center ice.
20:32 So keep in mind that team PFT and team Hank each use their double up, so
20:37 whatever points they accumulate here will be worth double for their team.
20:41 >> And our first skater up is PFT's very own John Feidelberg.
20:46 On you, John.
20:47 >> Let's go, fight.
20:49 Let's go, here we go, Johnny boy.
20:53 >> On you.
20:54 >> And here goes John Feidelberg.
20:57 >> Look at that guy go.
20:58 >> Around the first kiddie's trainer, around the net, around the second.
21:02 >> You made a nice turn, Megan.
21:03 >> And he is moving.
21:04 >> He is bolting down to the left side of the rink.
21:08 >> Push, push, push.
21:08 >> Nice turn, here comes Feitz.
21:10 >> And so much control, so much control, and it's Feitz.
21:14 >> Nice, Feitz.
21:15 >> 18-12.
21:16 >> 18-12.
21:17 >> 18-12.
21:18 >> All right.
21:20 >> All right, and next up, representing Team Hank, Chef Donnie.
21:25 >> On you, Donnie.
21:26 >> 18-12, the number to beat.
21:28 Here comes Chef Donnie.
21:30 >> He's moving too, around the net and the second kiddie trainer.
21:34 >> We know that the kitchen is his home ice, is the hockey rink his home ice as well.
21:39 >> Whoa.
21:40 >> That was dangerous, he still went around it.
21:42 It's legal, almost tripped.
21:44 Here comes Donnie, Mike is off.
21:46 >> Wow.
21:47 >> 18-16.
21:47 >> 18-63.
21:49 >> John Feidelberg is still in the lead.
21:53 >> That slip.
21:54 [BLANK_AUDIO]
21:57 >> All right, so so far, we have Feidelberg at 18-12.
22:02 >> Yes. >> And we have-
22:03 >> Chef Donnie at 18-63.
22:05 >> And finally, it's Grinelli for Team Big Cat.
22:08 He needs 18-11 or quicker to win the competition.
22:13 >> Safety first, Mikey boy.
22:14 [MUSIC]
22:17 >> Here comes Grinelli, he needs 18-11 to win it.
22:20 >> And he is zooming.
22:21 >> He is fast.
22:23 >> Here he comes, halfway home at a pace of right around nine seconds.
22:28 It's gonna be close.
22:29 >> It's gonna be real close, James.
22:30 >> How will he finish?
22:31 Here comes Grinelli.
22:33 >> Here he comes.
22:33 >> Jumping through the finish line at 17-25.
22:38 Team Big Cat wins the first two competitions.
22:43 >> I mean, that was light.
22:45 >> He was fast, he was fast.
22:47 >> No, we still got double points, don't worry.
22:48 >> Yeah, double points, that's okay.
22:49 >> You did good.
22:50 >> Good job, Mike.
22:51 >> All right, we got a scratch and claw.
22:54 >> Let's go.
22:55 >> Let's go.
22:56 >> He's got a baby.
22:57 >> Let's go.
22:58 >> Team Big Cat absolutely dominates.
23:01 The first couple of challenges has Team PFT and Team Hank trail behind.
23:05 I'll admit it, some of these boys know how to skate.
23:08 I mean, Riggs might need to pull a reverse Happy Gilmore and
23:11 trade in his putter for a hockey stick.
23:13 And how about Spittin' Chicklet's very own Mike Grinelli,
23:17 coming off the line like a rocket, securing the win for his team, and
23:21 properly representing barstool hockey.
23:24 That does it for this episode of the Pardon My Take Hockey Skills Competition.
23:29 Brought to you by ESPN, I'm PK Subban, thanks for watching.
23:33 [MUSIC]