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AmusantTranscription
00:00 *extrait de la vidéo*
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05:20 *musique de fin*
05:25 *coup de feu*
05:26 *musique de fin*
05:56 *musique de fin*
05:59 *musique de fin*
06:12 *musique de fin*
06:37 *musique de fin*
06:38 *coup de feu*
06:39 *musique de fin*
07:08 diversifier.
07:10 (tambours)
07:12 Is that the music?
07:13 I present to you spinach puffs hip new friends.
07:16 This spinach puff is wrapped in bacon
07:19 and rolled in sprinkles.
07:20 I call it the perfect puff, which is not to be confused with
07:23 the puff of perfection in the shape of everyone's favorite meat.
07:27 And who wouldn't love a puff cone?
07:29 I feel woozy.
07:31 I'm also working on a deep fried puff, shallow fried puff,
07:33 a stir fried puff, spinach donut,
07:34 and for the health conscious, a puff salad.
07:36 If you want it healthy, shouldn't it be a spinach salad?
07:38 Oh, interesting.
07:40 Maybe if you were a better teammate,
07:41 you would have brought up that idea earlier.
07:43 Interesting.
07:44 Because doing all this without consulting your teammate
07:47 wasn't very team-matey of you.
07:49 Interesting.
07:50 Interesting.
07:51 Yeah.
07:52 Yeah.
07:53 Look, Cusco, I'm not sure I want my name associated
07:55 with the place that--
07:56 Oh, what a coincidence.
07:57 Cusco's Casa de Puff.
07:59 See, it's like the old name, only cooler,
08:01 'cause the crunk part's taken out.
08:03 And I hired some inexpensive labor to work the kitchen.
08:05 (monkeys squeaking)
08:08 Monkeys work in the kitchen?
08:10 Then what am I gonna do?
08:12 Step inside Cusco's Casa de Puff or visit the drive-thru.
08:16 Don't forget to try our new grande puff cone.
08:19 How you doing, Chief?
08:20 Not so good.
08:21 Great, see ya.
08:22 Get back here.
08:23 Here it comes.
08:24 This assignment was supposed to be about working together.
08:27 Right, and together, I'm a huge success.
08:30 (monkeys squeaking)
08:32 The monkeys are quitting.
08:33 They can't do that.
08:34 Oh, yes, they can.
08:35 And so can I.
08:37 (monkeys squeaking)
08:39 (monkeys squeaking)
08:41 (splat)
08:42 Ah, who needs ya?
08:45 Who ordered two pounds of puffs?
08:49 I did, about an hour ago.
08:51 Hey, it's just me and the microwave here, so--
08:53 These puffs taste like green clay.
08:55 Okay, free napkins with your next order.
08:57 I don't want a next order.
08:58 We want the old puffs back.
09:00 Yeah, these puffs stink.
09:02 (all talking at once)
09:04 Wait, customers, come back.
09:05 I'll fail my assignment.
09:06 I'll give you one free puff for every 37 you buy.
09:09 Two hungry customers.
09:12 All right, come right on in.
09:14 You owe us for six tons of frozen spinach puffs.
09:17 Can't pay if I don't gots no customers.
09:19 Okey-doke.
09:20 But if you close me down,
09:22 how am I supposed to make money to pay you back?
09:24 We'll happily loan you more money for a locksmith.
09:27 There you go.
09:30 And you.
09:31 Ah, there's one for you.
09:33 And you.
09:34 Hi, we're the Kronk's Original Street Team.
09:36 Did you know Kronk uses no advertising?
09:38 We're just trying to spread the word of mouth.
09:40 Lovingly prepared, all natural, napkin included.
09:43 These puffs practically sell themselves.
09:46 Fresh.
09:47 And baked to perfection.
09:48 Mm.
09:49 Goose go.
09:50 I gotta say, Kronk, you make a truly tasty puff.
09:52 I never even tried one before.
09:53 Maybe I should have.
09:54 Yeah.
09:55 Might have been a partnery thing to do.
09:57 Yeah.
09:58 What's in these things?
09:59 Spinach?
10:00 Yeah.
10:01 Interesting.
10:02 Yeah.
10:03 If you're interested,
10:04 there might be a place for you back on the team.
10:06 Hmm.
10:07 That might be my ticket to not failing.
10:09 Okay, what do I do?
10:11 Try a spinach puff.
10:12 Yum, yum, yum.
10:13 They're really good in the tum, tum, tum.
10:15 All natural and fresh, they're the way to go.
10:18 'Cause they're made by Kronk and not Goose Go.
10:20 I could be a little peppier.
10:22 Right, Molina?
10:23 Might be better advertising if you were hopping on one foot.
10:26 Good idea.
10:27 Goose go.
10:28 [sighs]
10:29 Try a spinach puff.
10:30 Yum, yum, yum.
10:31 They're really good in the tum, tum, tum.
10:34 Here's a private scroll.
10:38 A scroll just for you.
10:40 Private Yzma scroll.
10:41 Thank you?
10:42 It's from the royal record keeper.
10:43 Says the emperor's advisor must go to his office for a job review.
10:48 Not very private, was it?
10:50 Well, you should have advised me not to read it.
10:51 You do know that you're the official emperor's advisor?
10:54 Yes, yes, I know.
10:55 I wouldn't blame you if you forgot.
10:57 I mean, you don't do a lot of it, advising, that is.
10:59 And now you've got to go to a job review.
11:01 Do I feel sorry for you?
11:03 Mm-hmm.
11:04 You're taking this rather well.
11:06 It's just a formality.
11:08 I don't let these little things get to me.
11:10 This might be a good time to tell you that I broke your lamp,
11:12 your breath smells like gym socks,
11:14 and I accidentally let out the crocodile.
11:16 [sneezes]
11:17 Kronk!
11:19 Okay, okay, let's get to it.
11:23 I've got potions to make, empress to trick,
11:25 and it's laundry day.
11:26 You failed your review.
11:28 [screams]
11:31 Oh, I'm sorry, Yzma.
11:33 We were just rehearsing.
11:34 Okay, Phil, you can take lunch now.
11:37 Did I get you anything?
11:39 Maybe just an iced tea.
11:41 Regular or passion fruit?
11:43 Passion fruit.
11:44 Okey-dokey.
11:46 Didn't miss anything good, did I?
11:47 What are you doing here?
11:49 All parties are present.
11:50 Let the review commence.
11:52 Cousco, has Yzma advised you
11:54 on any public matters in the past year?
11:57 Nope.
11:58 Private matters?
11:59 Nope.
12:00 Laughing matters?
12:01 Nope.
12:02 What has she done?
12:03 Well, she turned me into animals.
12:04 Cute animals.
12:05 Mind you, bunnies, squirrels, turtles, etc.
12:07 Yzma, by rule of law, I--
12:10 Wait! I can explain. Or lie.
12:12 I'll take it from here.
12:13 I'm firing you.
12:14 Bye-bye.
12:15 [screams]
12:19 Okay, here's a crate of teddy bears
12:21 and fluffy bunnies you ordered.
12:25 Oh, I don't know. Which is softer?
12:28 ♪ Do-da-do, no more Yzma ♪
12:30 ♪ Do-da-do, let's get a pizza ♪
12:32 ♪ Do-da-do, with extra cheese, yeah ♪
12:34 Hey, what's with the creepy music
12:38 ruining my happy group?
12:40 Presenting the new official Emperor's Advisor!
12:44 You?
12:45 Was that my cue?
12:54 The nice man with the headset
12:55 said I had time to get a nosh.
12:58 Right, okay.
12:59 More muffins and a rod of pineapple juice.
13:01 Hello, dear.
13:02 I'm Obsassia,
13:03 your new official Royal Advisor.
13:06 But I prefer to be called Mom.
13:08 Uh, Mom?
13:09 Mom, Mommy.
13:11 Anti-nice advice, you decide.
13:13 An Emperor in my care
13:15 is an Emperor who's fair.
13:18 Okay, she's corny,
13:19 but she's not scary beyond all reasons.
13:21 Nothing between her teeth.
13:22 And that mole hasn't reached critical gross-out mass yet.
13:24 I made you some homemade mango snaps,
13:27 potion-free.
13:28 Yay! Me lovey new Advicey Lady.
13:31 Napkin under the chin
13:33 means let the meal begin.
13:35 Elbows off the table
13:37 makes an Emperor smart and able.
13:40 If the eggs are really runny,
13:41 don't put them in your tummy.
13:43 Hey!
13:44 Yeah, I've eaten Chicha's crummy cooking for months now.
13:46 I know what to do.
13:47 Here, boy.
13:48 Thanks.
13:49 If you will please open volume 37
13:52 of your Kuz'cology scrolls.
13:54 Oh, it's so drafty in here.
13:57 Unless you want the cold and flu,
13:59 wear this cap I knit for you.
14:01 Yay!
14:03 (laughing)
14:06 Good boys wear clean undies
14:08 on Tuesdays through Mondays.
14:10 (laughing)
14:14 A good hand washer is easy to be.
14:18 Use soap and warm water after you...
14:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:21 (screaming)
14:24 A quiet advisor is easy to be.
14:26 No talkie, no talkie, no talkie to me.
14:29 Well, now, who's been drawing on this screen?
14:32 I know not you, dear.
14:34 I taught you better.
14:36 When there is still homework to go,
14:38 don't dilly-dally stopping the show.
14:40 Uh, I got to do something about this.
14:43 Are you sure this is a luxury cruise, honey?
14:46 Have an ice trip!
14:48 (laughing)
14:49 Ice.
14:50 Sorry, that's the alternate ending.
14:52 The real rest of the show will continue after we fade out.
14:55 Hey, Fady Fady.
14:57 I may have lost my position as advisor,
15:00 but I still have my job as principal.
15:03 Knockity knock!
15:04 Uh-oh.
15:05 School superintendent,
15:08 your job performance review is in, Principal Amsy.
15:11 But I didn't even...
15:13 No!
15:16 Two performance reviews in the same day?
15:19 You can't write this stuff!
15:21 Sorry, no deliveries today.
15:23 So, what now?
15:25 Take time off, do some traveling?
15:27 I'll get a new job.
15:29 Huts for sale.
15:31 One double meat mug combo with llama cheese
15:40 and a side of curly pups.
15:41 Pull forward.
15:42 You didn't say have a nice day!
15:45 My meal is free! Yippee!
15:47 Receipt, please.
15:51 Sure. Could you hold this?
15:53 Uh, Kronk?
16:08 Sorry, pal, no cutsees.
16:09 What's with the line to the "secret lab"?
16:11 C'est pas le secret lab,
16:13 grâce à Obsessia.
16:14 C'est le public lab.
16:16 Elle a dit que tu ne devrais pas garder des secrets.
16:18 Ne me dis pas.
16:19 Les secrets ne sont pas gentils.
16:20 Ils s'épanouissent comme de l'acide.
16:22 Mets tes mains dessus, papa!
16:23 Un 8x10 gratuit,
16:33 avec un achat de 100 Wallisies.
16:35 Et c'est l'endroit de potion "Fais-toi-toi-même".
16:38 La prochaine étape de notre tour,
16:40 la chambre secrète de l'immorcelle.
16:43 Je vais en faire un vert.
16:45 Vite! Il y a un limiteur de temps de 5 minutes.
16:47 Je me souviens du jour où tu devais être un conseiller immorcelle
16:49 pour faire une potion.
16:50 Maintenant, tout le monde peut le faire.
16:52 Je suis juste heureux qu'Yzma soit là pour voir ça.
16:54 Ou ça.
16:56 En parlant d'Yzma,
17:03 où est-elle, par contre?
17:04 Pourquoi tu la manques?
17:05 "La manques"? Moi?
17:06 Tu pourrais l'envoyer.
17:08 Je sais.
17:09 Je pourrais?
17:12 Pas que je le fasse, mais...
17:14 Comment ça se fait,
17:16 l'envoyer? Pas que je le fasse.
17:18 Je sais un secret.
17:19 Quelqu'un a dit un secret?
17:21 Non!
17:22 Regardez le fin print.
17:24 "Si le conseiller d'empereur est envoyé pour une raison,
17:26 une raison d'envoyer, une raison d'envoyer,
17:28 alors l'empereur peut l'envoyer."
17:30 Ça a l'air tout en manuel.
17:31 C'était là avant!
17:32 Pourquoi j'envoyerais
17:34 ce dinosaure bleu potentieux?
17:36 "Vitamin Time, mon amour!
17:38 Une fois par jour, ça garde le colon en bonne santé."
17:40 Je vais y aller.
17:44 Mesdames et Messieurs,
18:03 prenez place et regardez la seule
18:05 dame dinosaure du monde!
18:07 Allez, Yzma,
18:12 tu dois revenir.
18:13 Je vais rester ici,
18:14 où je suis appréciée.
18:15 C'est ça,
18:16 les gens se rendent en ligne
18:17 juste pour te rire.
18:18 Tu ne peux pas le faire à la maison.
18:19 Pourquoi veux-tu me renvoyer?
18:21 Tu es le plus mauvais des deux evils.
18:22 Quoi?
18:23 Tu as eu des jours de retard,
18:24 ça se passe.
18:25 Peut-être si tu avais créé des plans mauvais,
18:27 ça aurait fonctionné.
18:28 Je n'ai pas besoin d'avis de toi, Kronk.
18:30 Alors laissez-moi vous donner des conseils.
18:32 Vous devez tous être honnêtes
18:34 avec vos sentiments
18:35 et apprécier l'un l'autre.
18:37 Ça, ça ne s'est pas bien passé.
18:38 Obsessia?
18:39 Yzma!
18:40 Je ne t'ai pas vue
18:42 depuis que tu es sorti de l'école d'adviser.
18:44 J'ai pris un délire d'absence.
18:46 Oh, c'est génial de te voir de nouveau.
18:48 Toi aussi.
18:50 Ok, est-ce que la scène va partout?
18:51 Bien, dès que tu admettes
18:52 que tu as manqué Yzma, chérie,
18:54 on peut faire la fin.
18:55 Oui, oui, fais-le, Kuzco.
18:57 Et toi, Kronk, chérie?
18:58 Tu as manqué Yzma encore plus que Kuzco.
19:01 C'est pourquoi tu as écrit
19:02 ce texte de téléphone dans le scroll?
19:04 Je ne peux pas mentir.
19:05 Tu avais raison, Obsessia.
19:06 Les secrets sont mignons.
19:07 Les secrets font honte.
19:09 J'ai manqué de toi, Yzma.
19:11 J'ai manqué de toi aussi, Kronk.
19:12 Kuzco?
19:13 Tu sais, elle essaie de me potionner
19:15 comme tous les jours.
19:16 Yzma a toujours eu un moyen bizarre
19:17 d'exprimer l'amour.
19:19 Ahem.
19:20 Ok, regarde, je vais le dire de cette façon.
19:22 J'ai manqué le fait que tu ne me vêtais pas
19:23 avec des chaussures stupides,
19:24 que tu ne m'as pas attiré à l'école
19:25 et que tu ne m'as pas attiré 24/7.
19:28 Alors, si tu veux ta job de retour...
19:30 Tu ne peux pas l'envoyer.
19:32 Et pourquoi pas?
19:33 Parce que tu as déjà un conseiller, Obsessia.
19:36 Oh, je quitte.
19:38 J'ai vu ton ending alternatif.
19:40 Très douloureux.
19:42 Désolé.
19:43 Mais Kuzco, Yzma ne te conseille jamais
19:45 sur rien.
19:47 C'est faux.
19:48 Kuzco, je te conseille fortement
19:49 de ne pas boire cette potion.
19:50 Ça te transformerait en un bug de femme.
19:52 Puis je te frapperais avec un couteau.
19:54 Ah.
19:55 Très bien.
19:56 Très bien.
19:58 Oui!
20:00 ♪ Doodadoo, re-hired Yzma ♪
20:02 ♪ Doodadoo, where's that pizza? ♪
20:04 ♪ Doodadoo, with extra cheese, uh-huh ♪
20:06 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
20:08 ♪ Ah! ♪
20:09 Maintenant que le secret est au lab,
20:11 tout le monde le sait,
20:12 c'est juste pas pareil.
20:14 Ça va me prendre des semaines
20:15 pour réparer le rollercoaster.
20:16 Quand les potions ont été volées,
20:17 le signe a clairement dit
20:19 "Ne boit pas."
20:20 Chester a clairement été la vie de la fête.
20:22 Maintenant, il est déprimé.
20:23 Le tableau de potion a le mal.
20:24 Il faut appeler le potionnier.
20:26 Personne n'a acheté un souvenir de Yzma.
20:28 À part les masques de Kuzcoine.