Mike, Lu & Og Mike, Lu & Og S01 E008 Scopin’ It Out The Good Ship Bad
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00:00 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:19 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:23 ♪ Shake your booty, shake your booty ♪
00:26 ♪ Sha-sha, sha-sha, shake your booty ♪
00:29 - Time to earn your keep, Lancelot. On three, jump. Three.
00:32 I said jump, not flail like a wounded chicken.
00:35 Aw, don't cry. What do you want me to do?
00:38 Bring the stump closer? Fine!
00:41 Hey, Og!
00:44 - I'm busy. Why don't you just get closer to the stump?
00:48 - I am a princess! ♪ Shake your booty ♪
00:51 Hey, gimme that! That's not a toy.
00:53 That's a very important piece of training equipment.
00:55 Hey, are you listening to me? Gimme that!
00:58 (gurgling)
01:00 - Sheesh! You're losing it.
01:01 - The royal personage is trying to accomplish something
01:05 that is beyond your limited, unroyal mind.
01:08 - If you're trying to be a royal pain in the butt, you're there.
01:10 - Look, I'm training Lancelot how to jump through this hoop.
01:14 - What Lancelot?
01:17 Where'd he go?
01:18 (horn blowing)
01:21 - Lancelot! Oh, Lancelot!
01:24 (water splashing)
01:25 - Lancelot! Come back to me!
01:29 - Boy, you try and help someone get ahead in life,
01:32 and this is what happens.
01:33 There's nothing worse than ungrateful subjects.
01:36 - That's the price of being a beloved leader.
01:38 (thunder crashing)
01:39 (dramatic music)
01:41 - Ah, the road of scientific endeavor
01:43 is pitted with the potholes of disappointment.
01:46 - Where do you think Lancelot went?
01:48 - Well, where would you go if you were a turtle?
01:50 - As far away from you as possible.
01:51 - Quix's oracle can find him. It is all knowing.
01:55 - We have a word for that. Charlton.
01:57 (bells ringing)
02:00 (clearing throat)
02:03 - What's this?
02:06 More people with nothing better to do
02:07 than harass an old man while he works?
02:09 - Allow me to introduce myself.
02:11 - You're Lou. Now scram.
02:13 - How did he know my name?
02:15 - He lives here.
02:16 You get to know your neighbors
02:17 when there's only six of them.
02:18 Let me know when the world's gonna end.
02:19 ♪ Shake your booty ♪
02:21 - Hey, I gotta consult the oracle
02:22 or I'll never see my beloved turtle again.
02:25 - The problem with the world is there's too many people
02:27 and they're all bothering me.
02:28 ♪ Shake it, shake it, shake it ♪
02:30 ♪ Don't break it, cook it, cook it, cook it ♪
02:32 ♪ Don't burn it, boil it ♪
02:34 - I'm here to ask the oracle a very important question
02:37 and I'm not leaving till I do.
02:39 - Hey, I'm a turkey, you hear that old bean?
02:42 - Got so a man can't even put his fingers in his own ears.
02:46 - Too many people.
02:48 - You good for nothing lazy orc.
02:50 - All right, you win.
02:52 ♪ Whatever it is you want, fine ♪
02:55 ♪ But there's a condition ♪
02:56 - What?
02:57 - I want that newfangled thingy-ma-tingy.
03:01 - Deal.
03:02 - Hey, Gibbo, what's up?
03:03 - Hand over your headphones.
03:05 - No way.
03:06 - Sorry, deal's done.
03:08 - Hey!
03:09 (dramatic music)
03:10 (coughing)
03:12 Watch the secondhand smoke, buddy.
03:14 - Oh, I see a turtle.
03:16 - Yes?
03:19 - Brown in color.
03:20 - Yes!
03:21 - With a head and three, no, four legs.
03:24 - That's my lasso line!
03:28 (screaming)
03:29 Is he all right?
03:30 - You are not serious.
03:32 - That's the description, perfect, wait.
03:34 - Oh, great oracle, tell me more.
03:36 - He is well fed.
03:38 Happy.
03:40 - Oh, please, refund.
03:42 - And you shall find him under the third step
03:46 behind the landing at Marjorie's back door.
03:50 - Okay, last one caught my attention.
03:52 - You are not native to this island.
03:55 - Insightful.
03:57 - Yesterday, you ate lunch.
04:00 - The man's a genius.
04:01 - Marjorie's cabbage soup it was,
04:03 without carrots, you don't like them.
04:06 And then you went swimming with Og and Lou.
04:09 Don't you children know to wait 30 minutes?
04:11 - Whoa, how'd you know that?
04:12 - Hold your horses, there's more.
04:15 Ah, yes, your future.
04:19 - Next time fate brings you to visit the oracle,
04:22 you shall wait in a very long line.
04:25 - That's it?
04:26 - Now go away, leave me in peace.
04:27 - What about my headphones?
04:28 Oh!
04:29 Oh, my precious baby, I found you at last.
04:39 - Why, hello there, Lou.
04:42 Come for a spot of tea?
04:43 - No, Lancelot was lost,
04:45 and through queeks I've spoken with the gods.
04:48 The oracle told me where Lancelot was.
04:51 - Splendid, perhaps he knows the answer
04:53 to the eternal question, how to make a three inch meringue.
04:57 - He knows everything.
05:00 - You know, I've been thinking.
05:02 There's no way that old guy could tell the future.
05:04 There's gotta be a catch.
05:07 And he's got my headphones.
05:08 Everyone's treating him like he's got a direct line
05:10 to the universal truth.
05:11 He's just an old guy with a turban around his hips.
05:14 You don't believe me?
05:16 Prove it, all I need is an action guy action pack.
05:18 Not the one from issue 28, the one from issue 231.
05:21 - Hmm, iridinium bioflux proton heat shield
05:25 fits in with my current work.
05:27 (explosion)
05:28 - Did you leave that part out?
05:31 - Go ahead, put it on.
05:36 - I can't, it's huge.
05:37 It's supposed to go on your back.
05:39 Action guys went on his back.
05:40 - According to Baldwin's law,
05:42 objects are larger, heavier, and much more cumbersome
05:45 than they appear in comics.
05:47 - It's impossible.
05:50 - Here, let me turn it on.
05:52 - I thought you were gonna leave that part out.
06:00 Let's see, wow.
06:13 Infrared sensor.
06:15 Gotcha.
06:16 Kiss your evil oracle and paddle goodbye.
06:19 Oops, false alarm.
06:21 How's this thing work?
06:22 Ow, not that button.
06:27 Where's the manual for this thing?
06:29 Hang again, where's action guy?
06:31 Help, I've been kidnapped by a backpack.
06:35 Let me go, put me down.
06:37 There's gotta be an eject button here somewhere.
06:44 You're dead, you'll hygiene yourself.
06:47 Finally.
06:50 - Interesting, she's at it again.
07:02 Well, I'll be.
07:06 - Let's see what's behind curtain number one.
07:10 I knew it.
07:11 Well, I should have known it.
07:13 (playful music)
07:16 That's a lot.
07:31 - Get away from there, you delinquent.
07:34 - You're a fake.
07:35 - I told you children to keep away from here, I did.
07:38 And the oracle told you to, too.
07:40 - There's no oracle, just an old man with a telescope.
07:43 - The oracle has spoken.
07:45 - People aren't dumb, you know.
07:46 - Yes, they are.
07:47 - Well, maybe some.
07:48 But when they find out you're a hoax,
07:50 they're gonna come after you.
07:51 - As the oracle foretold, there will be a very long line
07:55 around the mountain next time you visit.
07:58 - But this is the next time.
07:59 - This time doesn't count.
08:01 It wasn't a visit, it was espionage.
08:04 - And so then the oracle declared that Lancelot,
08:07 who had consumed exactly three lettuce leaves
08:08 and had a slight bellyache,
08:10 would be found sleeping under my third step.
08:12 - There he was!
08:13 It was truly otherworldly.
08:16 - He just looks through a telescope.
08:18 - The turtle was impossible to find,
08:20 hidden in a cave behind a secret sliding door.
08:23 But the all-knowing eye of the oracle
08:25 pierced through the walls of solid rock
08:27 and revealed his exact location.
08:29 - I'm trying to tell you,
08:31 the all-knowing eye was looking through a telescope.
08:33 - Oh my, do you suppose he knows
08:37 the whereabouts of my collar button?
08:39 I know I haven't a collar, but I used to have a button.
08:42 - And then the oracle descended from the heavens
08:45 in a fiery chariot drawn by seven silver whales
08:48 and ripped the mountain asunder,
08:50 snatching the turtle from the jaws of imminent death.
08:54 (groans)
08:54 Brought a tear to my eye.
08:55 - It's just an old guy with a telescope.
08:58 - Oh, he's lost, disappeared.
09:02 I did everything you said.
09:04 I gave him a big hug and told him he was doing great.
09:08 Just before I boxed his ears.
09:09 And now he's gone, I'll never find him.
09:13 - The oracle?
09:14 - Not again.
09:15 (upbeat music)
09:17 - Oh wait, I'm working.
09:19 - Great and powerful oracle.
09:22 Great and powerful oracle.
09:25 - Wow, he was right.
09:26 - He's magical?
09:27 - He's mystical?
09:28 - He's all-knowing?
09:30 - No, but he did predict there'd be a line
09:31 around the mountain when I came back,
09:33 which leads me to believe one thing.
09:34 - That oracles are the real deal?
09:35 - No, that people are stupid.
09:38 (chants in foreign language)
09:42 (upbeat music)
09:50 - An anemone, the order act in the area.
09:58 It's got no skeletons.
10:00 Truly disgusting.
10:01 Hey!
10:03 Yuck!
10:06 (splat)
10:08 Let's make a deal.
10:09 From now on, the only skeleton-less thing
10:11 I touch is fruit.
10:12 Okay, maybe bone-less chicken.
10:13 (chicken clucking)
10:15 (laughing)
10:18 Hey, what did I just say?
10:20 - Sheesh, afraid of an octopus?
10:21 They're harmless.
10:22 (dramatic music)
10:25 - You know, the problem with water around here
10:29 is it's so natural.
10:30 It's crawling with stuff.
10:31 I mean, water's supposed to come out of a bottle.
10:34 Why would anybody want to live in a place
10:35 where water's in a bottle?
10:37 - At least there's nothing living in it.
10:38 (dramatic music)
10:41 What's that?
10:42 - A wrecked ship.
10:43 - Oh, that clarifies it.
10:45 - When pirates chased our ancestor's ship,
10:47 they both crashed on the rocks.
10:49 That's what's left of the pirates' ship.
10:51 - Let's go check it out.
10:52 See if we can find some flotsam and jetsam.
10:54 - There's nothing out there.
10:55 - Come on, let's go take a look.
10:57 I know how to row.
10:58 Anyway, there might be treasure.
11:00 - Oh yeah, right.
11:01 (playful music)
11:05 - Hmm, this is not the best idea.
11:08 - What do you mean?
11:09 The wind in your hair, the salt spray.
11:11 This is just like the Great Outdoors Channel,
11:12 but without the commercials.
11:13 - I thought you hated this water.
11:15 - It's fine as long as I don't have to touch it.
11:17 - Hmm, I'm bored.
11:19 Can we go back?
11:20 - We haven't even gotten there.
11:22 - The tides change in a regular predictable cycle.
11:25 Pulled and pushed by the moon's gravitational pull.
11:27 - Would you stop it with the doctor science stuff?
11:30 - I'm just saying this is not the best idea.
11:33 - Okay, okay, I'll bite.
11:35 Why is this not the best idea?
11:38 - We could have walked.
11:40 - Oh.
11:41 - I'm still bored.
11:43 - Hmm, could use more than just a coat of paint.
11:50 Hold this while I climb aboard.
11:51 - What's in this smelly bag?
11:53 - Surveying instruments.
11:55 This wreck should be charted.
11:57 Where's my stuff?
12:02 It fell over.
12:03 Okay, where's the treasure?
12:08 - Does the word hunt mean anything to you?
12:11 As in treasure hunt?
12:13 - No.
12:14 - How about go find it yourself hunt?
12:16 Hey, there's a lot of junk down there.
12:20 Wow, a vintage action cola can.
12:24 Complete with snap ring, contest rules,
12:25 and important disclaimer about how no one can win.
12:28 It's at least two years old.
12:31 - Ah, a useless piece of cotton across the grass.
12:33 - This needle still works.
12:35 - A pirate's map, a treasure.
13:00 Yay!
13:01 - No.
13:02 - What?
13:03 - We're gonna go back.
13:04 - Well, I'm gonna stay here and soak up some, um, history.
13:09 - Yeah, that's it, history.
13:10 You know how I love history.
13:13 - Dates, facts, that sort of thing.
13:16 - Oh, I thought you were bored.
13:18 - I didn't realize how much rotted wood
13:21 and other stuff there was.
13:23 You go ahead, I'll just walk back.
13:25 - I don't think that's the best idea.
13:28 - Oh, go on, just go ahead, I'll be fine.
13:30 - Really, really, I will.
13:33 Just go ahead, just go on.
13:35 Go!
13:38 - Okay.
13:39 - Suckers.
13:46 Straight ahead, then right, left,
13:49 over to this thing, across here,
13:53 right, left, right, up the stairs, down the stairs.
13:59 (musique de Mario)
14:02 There must be some kind of secret passage down here.
14:19 I can almost smell the treasure.
14:27 (bubbling)
14:29 Maybe not.
14:30 (screaming)
14:35 (screaming)
14:39 (clacking)
14:41 (snoring)
14:43 According to the map, this is it.
14:52 I can hardly wait.
14:53 Gold bullion, pieces of eight, pearls,
14:55 a pretty little tiara.
14:56 Let's see, there should be two identical nails.
15:00 (screaming)
15:12 So, why wasn't it the best idea for us
15:14 to leave the royal pain in the butt?
15:16 I mean, we're here and she's there.
15:19 - Well, the tide has come in and she's stuck there.
15:26 - And that's a bad thing?
15:28 Get away from my treasure, Octo-scum.
15:33 I got dibsies, I saw it first.
15:43 At last, it's mine.
15:46 - Go find your own treasure.
15:51 - Look, I'm warning you, don't push me.
15:55 - Help!
15:56 Somebody help!
16:00 Lancelot, help!
16:02 Help, the royal personage is in danger.
16:08 - I guess we ought to save her.
16:11 - And be the right thing.
16:12 - Money, I usually enjoy doing the right thing.
16:16 (musique joyeuse)
16:19 - I could use some divine intervention here.
16:37 (musique douce)
16:39 (coups de feu)
16:42 (grognements)
16:44 (musique douce)
16:47 (coups de feu)
16:50 (grognements)
16:52 (musique douce)
16:55 (grognements)
16:58 (musique douce)
17:01 - Hi.
17:08 - Get off of me.
17:09 - Greetings poor people who didn't find any treasure.
17:13 Someone you know.
17:15 - Hey.
17:17 (grognements)
17:20 (coups de feu)
17:37 (grognements)
17:40 (grognements)
17:42 (musique douce)
17:45 - Hey, I'm higher than anyone.
17:57 I got it, I got it, the treasure is mine, all mine.
18:06 Looks like a mailbox with a bad case of eczema.
18:10 So go on, open it.
18:13 Captain's property, whosoever touches this chest
18:17 will have his hands chopped off, be hanged,
18:20 keel hauled and otherwise made uncomfortable.
18:24 Oh, I can hardly wait to see my gold bullion,
18:28 gaudy jewels, a new crown and some buttons.
18:34 Well, that was worth the effort.
18:37 - That slimy octopus, he stole my treasure.
18:41 (coups de feu)
18:43 - Well, look on the bright side.
18:48 You can give your grass skirt a whole new look.
18:50 - No suction cup sea slug of a monster
18:53 is gonna pull one over on me.
18:55 - Yeah, well, these treasure things
18:58 are never what they're cracked up to be.
19:00 And think of the taxes you won't have to pay.
19:02 (snoring)
19:05 (snoring)
19:09 (snoring)
19:11 (snoring)
19:13 (snoring)
19:15 (upbeat music)
19:19 ♪ Ain't no cars, no phones, ain't no parking zone ♪
19:21 ♪ Ain't no chaperones, ain't no leprechauns ♪
19:23 ♪ Ain't no mortgage loans, ain't no hair salons ♪
19:25 ♪ Ain't no skating ponds, ain't no ice cream cones ♪
19:27 ♪ Ain't no tricot phones, ain't no silicone ♪
19:28 ♪ Ain't no Parmesan, ain't no kidney stones ♪
19:30 ♪ Ain't no microphones, ain't no slide trombones ♪
19:32 ♪ Ain't no carry-on ♪