ABC spoke to a woman who's emerged from coercive control, a very common form of domestic abuse. For privacy reasons, we have withheld her name and her voice has been replaced with an actor's
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00:00 So I remember I'm sitting there over my computer and my ex is standing over my shoulder and
00:06 he said "get into your MyGov".
00:08 Of course it's got all these questions, things like you've got to put in passwords.
00:13 I didn't know them.
00:14 I'm trying to put them in and I was getting like so frustrated, upset, like I don't know
00:19 what it is.
00:20 I don't know how to get into this.
00:22 And he was mocking me and going "you don't even know that you don't know the answer to
00:26 that?"
00:27 He'd set it up.
00:29 So I did not even have access to my personal MyGov.
00:33 And that was exactly the same as my bank account.
00:36 Do you mind detailing some of I guess the specific incidents or behaviours that you
00:40 experienced?
00:41 One of the most detrimental things that I've found since, so when I look back, is the control
00:47 of finances.
00:48 Because you need money to do anything.
00:50 You know if I sat there and thought, which I did many times, I need to leave, I need
00:55 to get out of here, how am I going to do that?
00:59 Another thing that was really hard as you get isolated and your support network gets
01:03 taken away, you're prevented from reaching out for help.
01:07 And in fact, to the point where you're scared to do it.
01:10 Because if they found out you were seeking help, what's going to happen?
01:14 It was the fear of the unknown and the unpredictability.
01:18 And you mentioned you're in a much better place now.
01:20 What's helped you overcome those issues?
01:23 The support network which was taken away from me in the beginning.
01:27 That's where I went to from the start.
01:29 And I just followed the bouncing ball.
01:31 Went and got counselling straight away, got my kids into counselling, went through therapy
01:35 and things which I still constantly do.
01:38 I could look back at the past and recognise what I went through, which then gave me, okay,
01:43 here's a road forward.
01:45 And that's when I came across the Zara Foundation because I'm like, where do I go now?
01:49 Like I've escaped and I've gotten the help.
01:52 I'm starting to take back my life.
01:55 How do I even do it?
01:56 [Music]
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