• 7 months ago
Almost 25 years later, we all still hate that Toad one-liner.

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00:00 So, there's no denying the importance and the impact of the original 2000 X-Men movie.
00:06 As one of Hollywood's first serious attempts at a big-budget superhero film, its success
00:10 proved that audiences were definitely thirsty to see these types of stories brought to life
00:14 in live-action form, and it of course kick-started a long-running X-Men movie franchise and encouraged
00:20 studios to start buying up every popular comic IP they could get their hands on.
00:25 But while X-Men remains a solidly enjoyable superhero movie today, it's also fair to
00:30 say that not everything about it has aged all that well.
00:33 In fact, I'd go as far to say that there are some things about the 2000s X-Men movie
00:38 that we've all hated ever since the film first came out, whether we wanted to admit
00:42 it or not.
00:43 And that's what we're here to talk about today.
00:44 I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and this is everything you always hated in X-Men.
00:50 15.
00:51 The Absence of the Animated X-Men Theme
00:54 Now this film left some fans disappointed right from the get-go, as X-Men's brief
00:59 CGI-laced opening title sequence didn't feature the expected reprise of Ron Wasserman's
01:04 iconic, even legendary, theme from the 1990s X-Men animated series.
01:09 Not even a hint of that unforgettable theme is found in Michael Kamen's original score,
01:15 which while certainly being good, feels a little lacking without even the faintest invocation
01:19 of the single piece of music that everybody associates with X-Men.
01:23 In fact, it wasn't until the recent Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness that
01:26 we got to hear an orchestral version of the theme in a Marvel movie, where Professor X
01:31 showed up in the film's infamous Illuminati sequence.
01:34 14.
01:35 Rogue's Terrible Southern Accent
01:37 Look, nobody wants to bag on a young actress trying to make it in Hollywood, but in the
01:42 case of Anna Paquin, she already had an Oscar to her name for her performance in The Piano
01:46 many years earlier.
01:48 And so, it doesn't seem unfair to expect better from her where her southern accent
01:52 for Rogue is concerned, which to be blunt, is atrocious.
01:56 From the moment that we hear Rogue speak, it sounds like a highly effective attempt
02:00 at a southern twang, but the worst part is that it's wildly inconsistent throughout
02:04 the film, ramping up and then fading away between scenes.
02:08 The decision was evidently made to phase Rogue's accent out for the sequels, yet ironically
02:12 when she later starred in the HBO vampire series True Blood, her southern accent was
02:17 considerably more convincing.
02:19 She definitely put in the work, it seems.
02:21 13.
02:22 Wolverine Can't Smell Rogue
02:24 It's easy to forget that Wolverine has an enhanced sense of smell.
02:27 It's a power that's used so infrequently throughout these movies, yet he does use it
02:31 twice in the original X-Men film.
02:33 First, he's able to smell Sabretooth before he shows up, and then near the end of the
02:38 movie, he uses the ability to detect when Mystique poses as Storm inside the Statue
02:43 of Liberty.
02:44 And yet, for some reason, Logan is unable to smell Rogue when she sneaks into the trailer
02:48 of his car early on in Alberta.
02:50 He only notices her when she makes some noise, which seems like a pretty odd oversight.
02:55 Is this a nitpick?
02:56 Maybe, but the consistency of powers is massively important in superhero movies, even when it's
03:01 an ability as benign as a super sense of smell.
03:04 12.
03:05 The Car Crash Continuity Error
03:07 Now there are nitpick continuity errors, and then there are mistakes so blinding and distractingly
03:12 obvious that they deserve to be called out.
03:14 Case in point, after Wolverine crashes his car into a tree when Sabretooth attacks, shows
03:19 the front of the truck being totally crushed.
03:22 The windshield is shattered and squashed by the impact, and yet in the next shot, the
03:26 truck looks in considerably better condition, with the windshield basically intact, providing
03:31 enough of an opening for Wolverine to be launched through it due to not wearing a seatbelt.
03:35 Obviously, in reality, the crushed front of the car would have prevented Logan from being
03:38 propelled through the windshield, but the power of editing is such that popcorn-gobbling
03:43 audiences never noticed it.
03:45 In the era of streaming and 4K video, where every imperfection can be poured over ad nauseum,
03:49 though, it's a glaring mistake.
03:51 11.
03:52 The Jubilee Tease That Went Nowhere
03:55 Because the first X-Men has to introduce audiences to so many characters and ideas, it naturally
04:00 leaves a number of easter eggs, references and cameos in plain sight, hinting at the
04:04 mutants that we might expect to see in the sequels.
04:07 But perhaps the most infuriating of these teases is the beloved mutant Jubilee, who
04:11 is briefly shown wearing her distinctive yellow attire in one of the classes that is held
04:15 at the X-Mansion.
04:16 While at the time it was easy to be optimistic that we'd eventually get to see Jubilee
04:20 have a prominent billing in the X-Men franchise, over 20 years later, it is maddening that
04:25 it's never actually happened.
04:26 Now, she has appeared in numerous other X-Films, albeit only in throwaway cameo capacities.
04:32 She was in X-2 and X-Men The Last Stand, and also in X-Men Apocalypse, which was basically
04:36 an extended cameo.
04:38 But Lana Condor, who played her in that film, didn't appear in Dark Phoenix due to scheduling
04:42 conflicts.
04:43 Hopefully when the MCU introduces the X-Men fully, they won't neglect this beloved character,
04:48 who absolutely deserves to get her time to shine on the big screen.
04:52 10.
04:53 The Cringeworthy Love Triangle
04:54 The love triangle between Wolverine, Jean Grey and Cyclops was admittedly something
04:58 from the comics that was imported into this movie, but I ask you, did it really need to
05:03 be?
05:04 There's enough going on in this film that the inclusion of a cringeworthy potential
05:06 romance between Logan and Jean feels totally unnecessary, not to mention wildly rushed
05:11 in a movie that's got so much narrative ground to cover.
05:14 Why is this a priority?
05:16 Throw in a ton of possessive male posturing, such as Cyclops telling Logan "stay away
05:21 from my girl", and it's by far the weakest, iffiest sub in the entire movie.
05:26 That it apparently went through a lot of changes during shooting, as Bryan Singer hadn't
05:30 committed to one side of the romantic equation, isn't remotely surprising.
05:33 9.
05:34 The Goofy Senator Kelly CGI
05:37 Conversely, one of the most fascinating and well-executed subplots in the film involves
05:41 Senator Kelly, the anti-mutant politician who is ironically turned into a mutant by
05:46 Magneto.
05:47 But this is the point at which the film's age begins to show, as the visual effects
05:51 for Kelly's transformation are definitely not great, and honestly barely help muster
05:55 even upon its original release.
05:57 As Kelly wakes up, he realizes that he now possesses an elastic ability, which he demonstrates
06:01 by pressing his head against his cell bars, whereby his head squeezes through the gap.
06:06 The CGI is pretty goofy-looking, even by early 2000s standards, and so thankfully isn't
06:11 lingered upon for too long.
06:13 In the sequence in which Kelly dies after his body rejects the mutation and he dissolves
06:16 into liquid, well that also looks very silly, as Hollywood hadn't yet got a handle on
06:20 complex fluid-based VFX that also incorporated human elements.
06:25 It's hardly the movie's biggest sin, but it's certainly aged like milk regardless.
06:29 8.
06:30 Sabretooth is a total joke
06:32 One of the biggest complaints from comic book fans about the original X-Men movie is its
06:36 rather meager treatment of Sabretooth.
06:38 Though stuntman-turned-actor Tyler Maine certainly brings the imposing presence to this part,
06:43 as a character he's little more than a thin sketch.
06:46 Throughout the film he doesn't do much more than grunt, look big, and occasionally kick
06:49 somebody's ass, but he's too often depicted as glorified comic relief, a klutz who just
06:54 bumps into things and gets thrown around a lot.
06:56 The character looks great but has no dimensionality whatsoever, and it wasn't until X-Men Origins
07:01 Wolverine almost an entire decade later that we finally got, well, something more than
07:06 this.
07:07 7.
07:08 Wolverine's silly motorcycle ride
07:10 Here's a scene that almost nobody talks about despite the fact that it is just so incredibly
07:15 goofy.
07:16 Midway through the film, Logan steals Cyclops' motorcycle in order to chase down Rogue, who
07:21 has decided to leave the school.
07:23 While driving the bike around, Logan notices a strange button on it, which he of course
07:27 presses.
07:28 This initiates the bike's boost function, sending the bike careening forward at an insane
07:32 speed all the while Logan barely holds on, and clearly he loves it.
07:36 And yet the weird digital treatment of the shot, rendering Hugh Jackman's face as a
07:40 shaky blur, and the clunky movement of the bike itself make the scene feel so, so much
07:45 of a product of the early 2000s.
07:46 6.
07:47 Why didn't Xavier make Sabretooth remove Magneto's helmet?
07:51 At the end of the film's second act, Magneto takes custody of Rogue, and Professor X uses
07:56 his abilities to mentally possess Sabretooth, in turn grabbing Magneto by the neck in an
08:00 attempt to stop him.
08:02 However, Magneto uses his abilities to turn all of the surrounding police officers'
08:06 guns on themselves, and then threatens to fire them if Xavier doesn't let Sabretooth
08:10 go.
08:11 Xavier relents, and in turn proves himself to be considerably more stupid than anyone
08:15 expected.
08:16 Because here's the question, why didn't he just have Sabretooth remove Magneto's
08:20 helmet, which would have allowed Xavier to then control and subdue Magneto as well?
08:24 Yes, the answer is basically because the movie says so, but it's still a glaring oversight
08:28 that Xavier, of all people, would miss a wide-open opportunity like this.
08:33 5.
08:34 Storm's wildly inconsistent accent
08:36 Though on paper Halle Berry seemed like a fine casting choice for Storm, her performance
08:40 in the first X-Men film, in particular, was divisively received by the fanbase, and even
08:45 in the sequels where she was largely deemed a disappointment.
08:48 But the single most staggering issue with Berry's portrayal is her infamously shifting
08:52 accent.
08:53 In the first film, she plays Storm with an apparently Kenyan accent, yet it's so wildly
08:57 inconsistent and difficult to pass that you couldn't be blamed for failing to notice.
09:01 For whatever reason, the decision was made, probably sensibly, to more or less ditch the
09:05 accent entirely for the sequels, where she basically speaks with her own natural American
09:09 accent.
09:10 While you can appreciate the desire to respect Storm's Kenyan roots in the movie, Berry's
09:14 inability to nail the accent ultimately proved more distracting than anything else.
09:19 4.
09:20 The yellow spandex line
09:22 Comic book movies in general love their wink-wink, ham-fisted fan service, and though X-Men toes
09:27 the line pretty well for the most part, screenwriter David Hayter couldn't resist one toe-curlingly
09:31 daft reference to the hero's iconic original attire from the comics.
09:35 In the movie's third act, the X-Men donned their black leather costumes to do battle
09:39 as a team, a choice of wardrobe that proved massively divisive with fans who felt it deviated
09:43 too much from the yellow spandex numbers from the comics.
09:47 And so, as the X-Men set off to do battle with Magneto and company, there's a line
09:50 where Wolverine mocks the black leather outfits, only for Cyclops to retort "What would you
09:54 prefer?
09:55 Yellow spandex?"
09:56 Though producer Ralph Winter insists that the line wasn't intended as a jab at fans,
10:00 it's nevertheless a pretty groan-worthy nod towards the mutant's iconic original
10:04 attire from the comics.
10:05 Later, X-Men films proved to be a little less embarrassed about flashing some yellow, but
10:10 it certainly took some years getting there.
10:12 3.
10:13 Toad Dances a Jig Because of Reasons
10:16 Much like Sabretooth, Toad, played by Ray Park, is a total joke character throughout
10:20 the film, though at least his abilities are silly enough that it doesn't really undermine
10:24 his character.
10:25 Even so, it's hard not to wince at some of the goofball mugging that Toad gets up to
10:29 in this action-packed third act, even going so far as, for some reason, deciding to randomly
10:33 dance a jig while battling Jean Grey.
10:36 It has a strong whiff of improv that Ray Park probably just threw in there and that Bryan
10:40 Singer liked enough to keep in the final cut.
10:42 It may only last a few seconds, but it's ultimately more of a baffling head-scratcher
10:46 than genuinely amusing.
10:48 2.
10:49 The Infamous Toad Line Surely the single moment in the movie that
10:52 just about everybody hates is the infamous one-liner dropped by Storm moments before
10:57 she kills Toad.
10:58 As she fires up her Storm, she quips to him, "Do you know what happens to a Toad when
11:02 it's struck by lightning?
11:03 The same thing that happens to everything else."
11:05 The line is delivered in a dead serious flat monotone by Berry, which certainly didn't
11:09 help the reception to her performance at all.
11:12 Joss Whedon, who contributed the one-liner to the script, later stated in interviews
11:16 that the line was supposed to be spoken with a knowing smile rather than Berry's more
11:19 straight-laced approach.
11:21 It's also been rumored that Toad was originally supposed to make a reoccurring joke throughout
11:25 the film, asking about what happens to a Toad in certain situations, which would have made
11:29 Storm's retort feel like more of an organic payoff.
11:31 Either way, it's a terrible line reading and one that fans continue to lament over
11:36 20 years later.
11:37 1.
11:38 Kelly Notices Senator Kelly's Yellow Eyes
11:41 And finally, at the very end of the film, we see TV footage of Senator Kelly rescinding
11:45 his prior position on the Mutant Registration Act, with Storm pausing the TV just as Kelly's
11:50 eyes turn yellow, confirming him to be, in fact, Mystique in disguise.
11:55 Except if Storm notices this, wouldn't members of the general public notice this as well?
11:59 Now, in fairness, your average punter doesn't know who Mystique is and wouldn't immediately
12:03 realize precisely what's going on, but with mutants being openly known in the world of
12:07 the X-Men movies, it wouldn't take too much deductive reasoning for people to assume that
12:11 the yellow eyes indicated a mutant hijacking of some kind, especially given the suddenness
12:16 of Kelly reversing his stance on mutant registration.
12:19 If this sort of thing happened today, in a world where everything could be clipped out
12:22 and posted to social media within seconds, Mystique's ruse would have been rumbled in
12:26 record time.
12:28 Even back in 2000, though, it surely would have turned some heads, right?
12:31 And there we go, my friends.
12:32 That was everything you always hated in X-Men.
12:34 I hope that you enjoyed that, and please let me know what you thought about it down in
12:37 the comments section below.
12:39 As always, I've been Jules, you can go follow me over on Twitter @RetroJay but the O is
12:42 a zero, or you can swing by Instagram where it's the same handle, RetroJay but the O
12:46 is a zero.
12:47 Hope to see you over there.
12:48 But before I go, I just want to say one thing.
12:51 Even though we talked a lot about everything that we hated in X-Men, I want you, my friend,
12:55 to learn to love yourself because you are an absolute ledge.
12:58 You deserve all of the best things in life, like love, happiness, and success.
13:02 And don't let anything or anyone else tell you otherwise, alright?
13:05 I want you to go out there and absolutely smash it today.
13:08 I believe in you.
13:09 As always, I've been Jules, you have been awesome, never forget that, and I'll speak
13:12 to you soon.