Nobody Knows Anything - Best Drama Movie 2024 | Movie Classic
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30How to explain the things that nobody knows
00:00:35People these days they play and act like they know
00:00:39But nobody, not even you or me
00:00:43Who are you to tell me what's new and what's not
00:00:46What's happening now and what you've got
00:00:48This here real life, I'm a Tupac
00:00:50Been around the block and got the block on lock
00:00:52Stop, don't wanna hear another word
00:00:54Show me the money or you'll get to burn
00:00:56It's like it is when I promise you the world
00:00:57I'll make you a star more like Megma Earl
00:01:00Holler back when the contract's right
00:01:02You better best believe I'm looking out for mines
00:01:05I'm feeding on steak and wine
00:01:07Struggles of an artist pays off in time
00:01:09Cause nobody knows what the future holds
00:01:11Nobody knows anything till it goes
00:01:13And takes off to the next level of the game
00:01:15Until then you don't know a damn thing
00:01:17Sometimes in life there's questions nobody knows
00:01:22I need to grab him in the first minute
00:01:26Behind these walls lay the broken dreams
00:01:29Of men who are now confined
00:01:31Nah, too depressing
00:01:33Fade in, on a tree-lined street
00:01:36Two good-looking, attractive guys
00:01:38Are good-looking? Attractive?
00:01:41Well, that's the same thing
00:01:43Why not tall, unshort guys?
00:01:46Nah
00:01:50Give him something they've never seen before
00:01:52Edgy
00:01:54Ow
00:01:56Different
00:01:58Ow
00:02:01It's the action-packed, true story
00:02:05Of how the search for the American dream
00:02:07Goes dangerously awry
00:02:10I have one dream on rye with a pickle to go
00:02:13Hmm, not bad
00:02:15Gotta grab him in the first minute
00:02:18Hmm, maybe a little salty
00:02:20Hmm, maybe a little sex
00:02:24Nah, too obvious
00:02:31Cosmo says red is the power color for women
00:02:34But it makes me look like a fire truck
00:02:37Hollywood
00:02:39That's me, Sarah Wilder
00:02:42I just graduated from film school
00:02:44And now I'm in the real world
00:02:46Well, L.A., which may be real or unreal
00:02:48Depending on who you are
00:02:50Fortunately, I know a real person
00:02:52My Uncle Lou
00:02:54Who was once a big-time Hollywood writer
00:02:58Yeah, it's open
00:03:00Yeah, so how did they do yesterday?
00:03:03Oh, good, good
00:03:05Oh, Phil, I'll talk to you later, bye
00:03:08So?
00:03:12Sarah Wilder, your niece
00:03:15I know that, sit down
00:03:16Sit down
00:03:20For me
00:03:22Oh, how nice
00:03:25So, what made you want to get into the movie business?
00:03:28Why did you pick a profession with dignity, like begging?
00:03:31Okay, Uncle Lou, you're just like Mom
00:03:33You think the movie business is populated with terrible people
00:03:35No, no, no, believe me, believe me
00:03:37I'm not like your mother
00:03:39But in this instance, she's right
00:03:41The world is full of terrible people
00:03:43Why not the movie business?
00:03:44Speaking of which, how is your mother?
00:03:47And that Lummix she married?
00:03:49She and Dad are great, they're doing the Florida thing
00:03:51You know, get a condo on the beach and play golf and tennis
00:03:54So what's this movie about that you want to make?
00:03:56Jimmy, Cousin Jimmy
00:03:58On your father's side?
00:04:00The same
00:04:02But why? He's a bum
00:04:04I know him, and like my film teacher always said
00:04:06Film what you know
00:04:08Uh-huh, so the story is all about Jimmy's problems, huh?
00:04:12What audience is going to sit down and watch a movie
00:04:14About a schmuck like that?
00:04:16I don't know
00:04:18He's a sweet guy
00:04:20And I think I want to explore the why of it all
00:04:24The why of it all?
00:04:26Uh-huh
00:04:28You know, I don't understand the movies they're making today
00:04:31Did you see something about Mary?
00:04:33Laughed my ass off
00:04:35Could I make a movie like that?
00:04:37Never, never in a million years
00:04:39I want to tell you something
00:04:40I still know a lot of people in this town
00:04:44I called in a lot of favors
00:04:47I don't know why I'm doing this
00:04:50But I set up some pitch meetings for you
00:04:53All right, now stay focused
00:04:55And remember, nobody knows anything
00:04:59Today I have my first pitch meeting at a big studio
00:05:04Hello
00:05:06Oh, I can't talk right now
00:05:07No, I'm meeting Connor Fulton at 9.30
00:05:09I'll talk to you later
00:05:12Hello
00:05:21Wait, wait, wait, all right
00:05:23Hold on, Connor is talking now, okay?
00:05:25All right, now listen, you are five million dollars over budget
00:05:28Hold on one second
00:05:30Miss Winston
00:05:32Wilder
00:05:34That's right, hold on, okay
00:05:35Now listen, you're five million dollars over budget
00:05:37So either we're going to stop paying you
00:05:39Or we stop beating the cast and the crew
00:05:41It's your decision
00:05:43So
00:05:45You're new in town
00:05:47And you got a story to tell
00:05:50Well, nobody ever said that Connor Fulton
00:05:52Didn't give new town a break
00:05:54Ain't that right?
00:05:57See, everyone knows
00:05:59That's George, he's my assistant
00:06:01He's my eyes and my ears
00:06:03You can see the big picture
00:06:06So shoot
00:06:08I got a ten o'clock's coming in early
00:06:10You got five minutes
00:06:12Any good story can be told in five minutes
00:06:14Ain't that right?
00:06:16See?
00:06:18Give me your best shot
00:06:20It's the action-packed true story
00:06:22Of how the search for the American dream
00:06:24Goes ominously awry
00:06:32Kind of like a modern James Dean
00:06:33But during his quest for the American dream
00:06:35Jimmy committed armed robbery
00:06:37A felony
00:06:39But he's my cousin
00:06:41I mean, I sat next to him at the kids' table
00:06:43At every holiday dinner
00:06:45But what made him do it?
00:06:47Here's the twist
00:06:49You see, I shot interviews
00:06:51With every family member
00:06:53And eyewitnesses to the actual crime
00:06:55For a historic docudrama
00:06:57Kind of like Reds
00:06:59But without the communists
00:07:01And we'll cut back to them ever so often
00:07:03To give you some background
00:07:05And to help uncover Jimmy's motivations
00:07:07The diet pills are working
00:07:09Oh, thank you!
00:07:11Are those canned?
00:07:13Oh, of course they're canned
00:07:15Are you nervous, Beatrice?
00:07:17No, I'm very relaxed
00:07:19You're going to be wonderful, Uncle Sid
00:07:21You're going to be brilliant
00:07:23I like that apathetic thing you've got going on
00:07:25And it's all about glamour over here, isn't it?
00:07:27Oh, how do I look?
00:07:29Wonderful
00:07:31Good, I look right in there?
00:07:33Disfunction
00:07:35Okay, okay, good
00:07:37What do you want me to talk about?
00:07:39Tell me about my cousin Jimmy
00:07:41And Uncle Sid, you look marvelous
00:07:43Oh
00:07:45Jimmy is our son
00:07:47We love him
00:07:49He's a very good boy
00:07:51A very good boy
00:07:53You know what rotten is?
00:07:55He's rotten to the core
00:07:57Oh, but he's a very good boy, you know
00:07:59Thank God he's got my genes
00:08:00You know, he takes after my side of the family
00:08:03Your side of the family
00:08:05Your side of the family is crazy
00:08:07You know, all this bad stuff with Jimmy
00:08:10It's your fault
00:08:12My fault?
00:08:14I ought to sue you
00:08:16I ought to sue you and your family, you know that?
00:08:18For what?
00:08:20Because when I married you, they passed you off as sane
00:08:22You're fucking crazy
00:08:24This is good
00:08:26This is good
00:08:30You used fucking properly
00:08:33I have a mother and a father too
00:08:35Most people do, that's very identifiable
00:08:41I'm a basket case until my second day
00:08:43You don't want to know what he does
00:08:45At the grocery store?
00:08:47Jesus Christ, she's going to bring up
00:08:49The candy bin thing again
00:08:51He steals little pieces of candy
00:08:53From the candy bin at the grocery store
00:08:55Jimmy loves to see him do it
00:08:57Like father, like son
00:08:58Like father, like son
00:09:00You know, Jimmy used to be a very sweet boy
00:09:02My husband here corrupted him
00:09:05Okay, so maybe Jimmy didn't grow up
00:09:07In the best environment
00:09:09But it's not like he was so different
00:09:11Than any other kid
00:09:13I can't do homework
00:09:15Because they told me to do homework
00:09:17I can't work under these conditions
00:09:19Right, but there was always a constant
00:09:21In Jimmy's life, his love
00:09:23No, no, his obsession for Miranda
00:09:25Even when they were kids
00:09:26Miranda, I love you
00:09:29Best thing that ever happened
00:09:31To Jimmy was Miranda
00:09:33But even when they were kids
00:09:35It wasn't always roses
00:09:37I told you, Jimmy, get the fuck out of here
00:09:39I'm serious
00:09:41By the time they got married
00:09:43She'd been kicking him out for years
00:09:45Just leave
00:09:47See, things haven't changed much
00:09:49But unfortunately, every time
00:09:51Jimmy and Miranda fought
00:09:53He'd always go to his best friend
00:09:54Unfortunately, his best friend is virus
00:09:57His partner in crime, so to speak
00:09:59A rocket scientist, virus isn't
00:10:01But Jimmy still considered him a friend
00:10:03Don't even ask me why
00:10:05Connor, darling, the love of my life
00:10:07The vein of my existence
00:10:09Great baby
00:10:11George, see any good movies lately?
00:10:13So good to see you
00:10:15How are you doing?
00:10:17What brings you to the salt mines?
00:10:19It's about Bruce, Connor, dear, who else?
00:10:21Listen, I just saw those dailies
00:10:22Huh?
00:10:24Huh? That fight inside, what is that?
00:10:26Is that a volcano?
00:10:28Of course
00:10:30It's incredible, it's incredible
00:10:32Did I say that was incredible?
00:10:34I said that, I said that
00:10:36I'm so happy you're happy
00:10:38Happy, happy, I am ecstatic here, all right?
00:10:40I am delirious, I'm about to lose control of my bladder
00:10:42Well, I have something else you can piss on then
00:10:44Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
00:10:46Here, I hope you don't mind
00:10:48Looking at the list of requests Bruce has
00:10:50What is it?
00:10:52Wet, not dry
00:10:54Not dry, not dry, George, remind me
00:10:56And what's his new stand-in at $4,000 a week?
00:10:58Don't you think Bruce's brother would be perfect?
00:11:00Okay, what's his driver at $3,000 a week?
00:11:02His nephew
00:11:04Personal trainer, $2,000
00:11:06His cousin, coincidentally
00:11:08You're killing me here, this $14,000 a week
00:11:10Why don't we just rent his whole family here?
00:11:12You are, Connor, darling
00:11:14You're renting the whole goddamn family
00:11:16He's honest, he's honest
00:11:18It's an $80 million movie
00:11:20They'll need lots of asses in those seats to see profits
00:11:22Bruce can put them there
00:11:24Ciao, George
00:11:26Love what you're wearing
00:11:30Thank you, Craig, thank you
00:11:32Hey, listen, you take care, all right?
00:11:34Tell Bruce I'll see him at the fight
00:11:36I will
00:11:38This is some fucking business
00:11:40What?
00:11:42Would they run General Electric like this?
00:11:44No, no, you're damn right they wouldn't
00:11:46Get me Jack Brown
00:11:48I'm sorry about this
00:11:50They said he went to an early lunch
00:11:52What's happening?
00:11:54Get me the other producer on his film
00:11:56Bruce's film, whatever his name is, I don't know
00:11:58Call him
00:12:00This is a crazy business
00:12:02It is crazy, I tell you
00:12:04Stars that make $14 million a picture
00:12:07And then they nickel and dime you
00:12:09For every perk they can think of
00:12:11Producers go to a 10.45 lunch
00:12:13Shit!
00:12:15I mean, most producers don't even come in till 11 o'clock, huh?
00:12:17Am I right?
00:12:19What?
00:12:21Connor Fulton here
00:12:23Hi, I want you to measure Bruce's trailer for a sauna
00:12:26And then I want you to tell him every day
00:12:28That it is being specially made
00:12:30I want you to tell him
00:12:32We're having trouble getting a green card
00:12:34For his French chef
00:12:36I want you to bullshit him about his stand-in
00:12:38I want you to bullshit him about his driver
00:12:40I want you to bullshit him about his trainer
00:12:42Tell him, tell him
00:12:44Teamsters, tell him
00:12:46Tell him we're having a problem with the teamsters
00:12:48They want their men in place
00:12:50I want you to tell him
00:12:52There's nothing worse than his family
00:12:54Is going to be sleeping with the fishes, okay?
00:12:56And then you tell him to go to hell
00:13:04Where were we?
00:13:08What Jimmy and Virus needed was a direction
00:13:10A goal
00:13:12Get a job, get a job
00:13:14Why don't you get a job?
00:13:16I'd like to get a job
00:13:18Why don't you get a job?
00:13:20I don't know what to do
00:13:22And I can't work under those conditions
00:13:24Remember, when Jimmy was a kid
00:13:26He didn't like taking orders
00:13:28He's no different now
00:13:30Hey fellas, let's go, huh?
00:13:32We got a house to paint
00:13:34Rapido, rapido
00:13:36For the daylight
00:13:38You like some guy clapping at you?
00:13:40Come on, have some self-respect
00:13:42You gotta be your own boss
00:13:44I am my own boss and I've got self-respect
00:13:46No, what you got is some guy telling you what to do
00:13:48Nobody tells me what to do
00:13:50You paint?
00:13:52No, I thought it was coming over while you paint
00:13:54I don't paint
00:13:56I'm not a painter
00:13:58Anyway, I gotta go pick up my check
00:14:00Disability
00:14:02Think about what he said
00:14:04When I said they needed a goal
00:14:06I really meant they needed money
00:14:08Because all they were capable of doing
00:14:10Was painting houses
00:14:12All the fixtures you see are original
00:14:14They were installed when the house was first built
00:14:16In 1946
00:14:18Now, nine years ago
00:14:20Mississippi Blue Smoke Jones
00:14:22Had all of the fixtures removed
00:14:24Sent back to Germany
00:14:26Where they were originally manufactured
00:14:28In 1928
00:14:30The Mississippi Blue Smoke Jones?
00:14:32The harmonica player?
00:14:34Yes
00:14:36Wow
00:14:38Nice house, Blue Smoke
00:14:40How do you know Blue Smoke?
00:14:42I don't, I know of him
00:14:44Not done yet
00:14:46All of the fixtures were cleaned
00:14:48Restored, updated
00:14:50By the original manufacturer
00:14:52Minscher van der Klieger
00:14:54Now if that name rings a bell
00:14:56It should
00:14:58Because we still use Klieg lights today
00:15:00This way
00:15:03Does he know we're here to paint?
00:15:05As you can see
00:15:07As you can see
00:15:09The kitchen has been updated as well
00:15:11With technology of tomorrow
00:15:13With the hardwood floors of yesterday
00:15:15I think that's pretty cool
00:15:17Speaking of cool
00:15:18This refrigerator
00:15:20Has the shell
00:15:22Of its mother model
00:15:24The Frieze Captain 627
00:15:26With the entrails
00:15:28Of the Captain Frost
00:15:30Master Whiz fridge
00:15:32A lovely piece of machinery
00:15:34Ha ha ha ha
00:15:36I believe this is yours
00:15:38Take a look at this
00:15:40Is this beautiful?
00:15:42Look at this with the trees
00:15:44And the sun
00:15:46Look at this view
00:15:48I would lay her down right here
00:15:50Right now
00:15:52And give her the love
00:15:54Oh my god
00:15:56Oh my god
00:15:58Oh god
00:16:00I am so god damn tired
00:16:02Of showing houses all day long
00:16:04You couldn't give this piece of shit away
00:16:06This shit
00:16:08It's been on the market
00:16:10For six years now
00:16:12Oh god
00:16:14Oh god
00:16:16Did you ever lie in bed at night
00:16:18You know I came to the fork in the road
00:16:20I veered left
00:16:22You know you should veer right
00:16:24You know it but it's too late
00:16:26It's too late
00:16:28I shit where I sleep
00:16:30Oh god
00:16:32I wish I had a back porch
00:16:34It's too late
00:16:36You guys
00:16:38You seem like nice guys
00:16:40Really
00:16:42And you're young
00:16:44You should get away
00:16:46Run away now
00:16:48I really need to be alone
00:16:50Oh god
00:16:58Oh god
00:17:00Wow
00:17:02Can you believe that?
00:17:04Blue Smoke's house has been on the market for six years
00:17:06It's beautiful
00:17:08Wait wait wait wait
00:17:10Two guys
00:17:12Strike that
00:17:14Two morons
00:17:16Who can't paint
00:17:18I thought this was about an armed robbery
00:17:20It is
00:17:22So?
00:17:24Where is it?
00:17:26How far are we into the picture now?
00:17:28Ten minutes maybe
00:17:30Ten minutes
00:17:32Ten minutes is a lifetime
00:17:34See George knows
00:17:36In Indiana Jones he has already been chased
00:17:38By a boulder by now
00:17:40In Jaws we've seen a girl get naked
00:17:42Make out with some guy
00:17:44Hop in the water and get eaten by a shark
00:17:46That's the goal
00:17:48I wanted to build up the motivation
00:17:50To their committing the robbery
00:17:52Wrong answer
00:17:55My dear you must be visual
00:17:57You have to show this
00:17:59You got to show some guns
00:18:01Some violence
00:18:03A little blood
00:18:05I don't know wait
00:18:07They they let's say they
00:18:09They witness a robbery
00:18:11They witness a robbery and that inspires them
00:18:13That's good isn't it?
00:18:15That's good
00:18:16You want me to change what I have?
00:18:18Change what actually happened
00:18:20Change the truth
00:18:23The truth
00:18:25What do you think this is church?
00:18:27Yes yes change the truth
00:18:29Add the bit about the robbery
00:18:31And then continue
00:18:34Okay
00:18:36Let's see
00:18:38As Uncle Lou said
00:18:40Nobody knows anything
00:18:42So I might as well give it a try
00:18:44Why can't Miranda just be nice to me
00:18:46Is that it fellas?
00:18:48Yeah
00:18:50Alright let's see
00:18:52Pepsi fruit pie
00:18:54265
00:18:56We got 2
00:18:58We got 50
00:19:0061
00:19:0262
00:19:0463
00:19:0664
00:19:08264
00:19:10264
00:19:12Alright fine
00:19:16Miranda's just complicated
00:19:18You know you guys
00:19:19Give me a talk more
00:19:20Let's stay calm
00:19:21We just want the cash
00:19:22Let's go move
00:19:23You two spread out
00:19:24Spread out
00:19:25See some money out of you two
00:19:26Come on
00:19:27Come on I'm not fooling around here
00:19:28Let's open the pot
00:19:29See some cash
00:19:31Nothing
00:19:33Totally cash
00:19:34Give me the change
00:19:36Keep the hands up
00:19:37Clean that's it
00:19:38Let's go
00:19:40Clean that's it
00:19:41Let's go
00:19:50How hairy was that?
00:19:52How about shit?
00:19:53Did you bow shit?
00:19:54How about shit?
00:19:56You see me I throw it
00:19:58Hey man
00:20:00You're really cool
00:20:01Yeah it's cause I don't give a shit
00:20:02It happens every other week
00:20:04I'm not gonna get my ass shot up
00:20:05For you know 200 bucks
00:20:06It's not even mine
00:20:07You were really cool
00:20:08I should have put a cap in the ass
00:20:10That's what I should have did
00:20:11But I don't have a gun
00:20:17Hey
00:20:18Yeah yeah go ahead
00:20:19You sure?
00:20:20You sure?
00:20:22Thanks a lot
00:20:23Sure
00:20:25Jimmy needed to feel worthy in Miranda's eyes
00:20:28To prove himself to her
00:20:30On his own terms
00:20:32But he didn't know how
00:20:34Witnessing the robbery
00:20:35Witnessing the robbery
00:20:36Was both shocking and exciting to them
00:20:38A total adrenaline rush
00:20:39To Jimmy and Virus
00:20:40This was all the inspiration they needed
00:20:42If you had to give a description
00:20:43To the cops right now
00:20:44What would you tell them?
00:20:46I'd say there were two of them
00:20:48And that they were bigger than us
00:20:49And white
00:20:51Hey
00:20:52You don't catch guys like that
00:20:53You know
00:20:55They knew exactly what they were doing
00:20:56They were professionals
00:20:57You heard the cashier
00:20:58That shit happens all the time
00:20:59I like this much better now
00:21:00I like it
00:21:01This is good
00:21:03Come on
00:21:04Jimmy moved in with Virus
00:21:05The wheels were now in motion
00:21:06That would lead them
00:21:07To their eventual destiny
00:21:08Come on
00:21:09Get the door open
00:21:12Phone's ringing
00:21:13Hello
00:21:14Oh no hey Miranda
00:21:15How are you?
00:21:16No actually
00:21:17We just walked in
00:21:18It's Miranda
00:21:19Really?
00:21:20No that
00:21:21Yeah
00:21:22No I will
00:21:23Yeah that's sweet
00:21:24I will
00:21:25Absolutely I will
00:21:26Huh?
00:21:29You look like Joe Perry
00:21:30From Harold Smith right now
00:21:31In that light
00:21:32It's weird
00:21:33Your nose
00:21:34Huh?
00:21:35What are you saying?
00:21:36No that
00:21:37Okay cool
00:21:38Absolutely
00:21:39I will
00:21:40Yeah he's right here
00:21:41Hold on one second
00:21:42She wants to talk to you
00:21:43Now to Jimmy
00:21:44His life may have been crap
00:21:45But
00:21:46The one thing he did have
00:21:47Was Miranda
00:21:49Actually he didn't
00:21:50But
00:21:51That's Jimmy
00:21:52Hello
00:21:53Yeah no
00:21:54It's me and Virus
00:21:56Hey how did you know
00:21:57I was here anyway?
00:21:58No
00:21:59Just no
00:22:00No
00:22:01Now see I think
00:22:02You do want to fight about it
00:22:03As a matter of fact
00:22:04I think you want nothing more
00:22:05Than to fight about it
00:22:06Hang on a second there Puddin
00:22:07You're the one who asked me to
00:22:09Pudds
00:22:10I even asked a psychiatrist
00:22:11Why Miranda would call
00:22:13It's called separation anxiety
00:22:15You see
00:22:16Jimmy was obsessed with Miranda
00:22:17Yet
00:22:18She was rejecting him
00:22:19Quite often when people are awake
00:22:21This sort of thing happens
00:22:22Yeah yeah yeah
00:22:23That's exactly what happened to me
00:22:24When I was on a stakeout
00:22:25For two months
00:22:26Yeah
00:22:27Damn it
00:22:29Day in and day out
00:22:30My wife and I
00:22:31Well we were separated
00:22:32For some time
00:22:33And uh
00:22:34Well we had arguments
00:22:35And you know
00:22:36Separation is very painful
00:22:38And stressful
00:22:39Oh it's terrible
00:22:40He was not on a stakeout
00:22:42He's disturbed
00:22:44He thinks he's Joe Mannix
00:22:45From the television show
00:22:46You were not on a stakeout
00:22:47Yeah I tried to call her
00:22:48From every discreet telephone
00:22:49I could find
00:22:50But there just wasn't
00:22:51Any telephones around
00:22:52I was desperate
00:22:53Desperate to talk to her
00:22:55I even had my secretary
00:22:56Peggy
00:22:57Mr Peggy
00:22:58You remember Peggy
00:22:59Peggy
00:23:00I said you gotta get in touch with her
00:23:01Nothing
00:23:02Nothing
00:23:03You're not a private eye
00:23:04Mr O'Hanion
00:23:05You're
00:23:06Wait wait a minute
00:23:07What do you mean Shrinko
00:23:08Of course I'm a private eye
00:23:09Joe Mannix
00:23:10What are you talking about
00:23:11I went undercover
00:23:12With my contacts
00:23:13At the police force
00:23:14Lieutenant Tobias
00:23:15Remember Lieutenant Tobias
00:23:16Yes
00:23:17Yeah well
00:23:18I was out of pocket
00:23:19For six months with that
00:23:20You did not go undercover
00:23:21Your name is not Joe Mannix
00:23:22Mr O'Hanion
00:23:23It's Kreekor O'Hanion
00:23:24You live in Fresno
00:23:25And you make cheap white wine
00:23:26You said it was gonna be like Reds
00:23:29What part does Warren Beatty play
00:23:33No
00:23:34He's not in it
00:23:36But I'm using eyewitnesses
00:23:38Like in the movie Reds
00:23:42You get me Warren Beatty
00:23:43As an eyewitness
00:23:45We got a movie
00:23:50You have any other casting in place
00:23:51You talk to George
00:23:52He's my eyes and my ears
00:23:56Is he coming back
00:24:05How did you put a blind guy
00:24:06In the movie business
00:24:07It's an advantage
00:24:09First of all
00:24:10Nobody reads scripts anymore
00:24:11They get these kids from UCLA
00:24:13To do that
00:24:14Secondly
00:24:15If he can't see
00:24:16There's little chance
00:24:17To take his boss's job
00:24:19Though
00:24:21On the other hand
00:24:23If he was also deaf
00:24:25His chances could improve
00:24:27Does everyone have a yes man
00:24:30Some have no men
00:24:32Most have
00:24:33We'll get back to you man
00:24:34Here
00:24:35Let me give you this guy's number
00:24:37I used to know him
00:24:38He's okay
00:24:39I gave him his first shot
00:24:41You just call him alright
00:24:43Lou Bracken
00:24:45Is he still alive
00:24:47He called you didn't he
00:24:52Comes from Cuba
00:24:54The whole movie
00:24:55For the price of five of those
00:24:56Is that legal
00:24:59Cuba Gooding
00:25:01It's all made of money baby
00:25:06So
00:25:08Where were we
00:25:09Let's see
00:25:10Your cousin Jimmy
00:25:11Jimmy was spending his days
00:25:12Watching TV
00:25:13And bemoaning Miranda
00:25:15You're right
00:25:16We should be separate
00:25:17You know I'm better off
00:25:18Out of that house
00:25:19Than still living with that
00:25:20Emotional carnival freak
00:25:21She's a side show
00:25:23It's a really nice house though
00:25:28I'm an idiot but I still dig it
00:25:31Check it out
00:25:32Turn it up
00:25:33Try it
00:25:34After being convicted
00:25:35Of the grisly murder
00:25:37Of his 69 year old grandmother
00:25:39Sally Gag
00:25:41McClintock's Peach
00:25:43They can't be beat
00:25:44You'll say that's neat
00:25:45The best on peach
00:25:46I could ever eat
00:25:47So we don't mean to preach
00:25:48But we do entreat you
00:25:50To try one
00:25:51McClintock's Peach
00:25:52Once they saw the commercial
00:25:53They decided to target McClintock's
00:25:56Okay this is Karen
00:25:57Alright
00:25:58She's a friend of mine
00:25:59Karen used to work at McClintock's
00:26:00Why she quit
00:26:01That's not important either
00:26:02Okay
00:26:03Alright
00:26:04Here's the candy
00:26:05Karen says they deposit the money
00:26:06To the bank
00:26:07Every Monday afternoon
00:26:08No
00:26:09Yeah
00:26:10So I figure we go in there
00:26:11On a Monday morning
00:26:12That's a week's worth of business
00:26:13In that register
00:26:14How hard can this be
00:26:15Register full of cash
00:26:16No security
00:26:17I figure we walk in
00:26:18Grab the money
00:26:19Walk out
00:26:20Just like those guys did
00:26:21Even as Jimmy and Virus
00:26:22Plotted the robbery
00:26:23It seemed that their feelings
00:26:24Against McClintock's
00:26:25Had found some public support
00:26:27How dare the McClintocks
00:26:28Invoke God to sell their peaches
00:26:31They are the most self-righteous
00:26:33Pretentious con artists
00:26:34This town has ever seen
00:26:35I could spit on them
00:26:37McClintock's Peaches
00:26:39Taste like my mom's
00:26:41Totally the same
00:26:43These eyewitnesses
00:26:44You shot them already right
00:26:46Oh yeah
00:26:47In the can
00:26:48And there's a lot more
00:26:49Than what you've heard
00:26:52So uh
00:26:54Who do you see
00:26:56As the peach expert
00:26:58Oh
00:26:59The real peach expert himself
00:27:01The real one I already
00:27:02Shot in the film
00:27:04Okay let's get this straight
00:27:05Everyone
00:27:06I don't care who they are
00:27:08Wants to get their hands
00:27:09On some of these peaches
00:27:10Especially if they've ever
00:27:11Tasted McClintock's peach
00:27:13I mean everyone
00:27:14Okay
00:27:16Oh
00:27:17Messy boat
00:27:21Euro trash
00:27:23Sunscreen
00:27:26I think
00:27:27I think perhaps you should
00:27:29Think younger
00:27:31Maybe
00:27:33Ben Stiller
00:27:35As the peach expert
00:27:39Well
00:27:40Whatever happened to authenticity
00:27:42Authenticity is for CNN
00:27:45Ben Stiller
00:27:46Is for movies
00:27:48Cheers
00:27:49Maybe you're right
00:27:51Maybe
00:27:57Well think about it
00:28:00Okay
00:28:01Think about Ben
00:28:02Okay get this straight
00:28:03Everybody
00:28:04I don't care who it is
00:28:05Wants to get their hands
00:28:06On some of those peaches
00:28:07If they've ever tasted
00:28:08McClintock's peach okay
00:28:11Ben Stiller
00:28:12Hmm
00:28:15Okay get this straight
00:28:16Everybody
00:28:17I don't care who it is
00:28:18Wants to get their hands
00:28:19On some of those peaches
00:28:20If they've ever tasted
00:28:21McClintock's peach okay
00:28:24Ben Stiller
00:28:25Okay get this straight
00:28:26Everybody
00:28:27I don't care who it is
00:28:28Wants to get their hands
00:28:29On some of those peaches
00:28:30If they've ever tasted
00:28:31McClintock's peach okay
00:28:33Much better
00:28:34Now continue
00:28:36Well
00:28:38The sea for Robbie McClintock's
00:28:39Was planted
00:28:40But Jimmy was
00:28:41Torn
00:28:42Confused
00:28:44Just
00:28:45Between his unrequited
00:28:46Love for Miranda
00:28:47And
00:28:48The adrenaline rush
00:28:49From the robbery
00:28:50Jimmy was
00:28:51An emotional
00:28:52Vulnerable
00:28:54Incredibly
00:28:56Hurt boy
00:28:58He was riding a manic
00:28:59Depressive roller coaster
00:29:01At very
00:29:02Deep
00:29:04Deep
00:29:05Lows
00:29:08And manic
00:29:10Sexy highs
00:29:13Very manic highs
00:29:15Excuse me
00:29:16I'm just gonna put this over here
00:29:20Virus wasn't any help
00:29:21He was always testing Jimmy
00:29:23With ridiculous
00:29:24Hypothetical questions
00:29:25You were their camp counselor
00:29:27I certainly was
00:29:28And I'm here to say
00:29:29That these boys
00:29:30Were not evil or vicious
00:29:32Oh they weren't geniuses
00:29:33To be sure
00:29:34But they had convictions
00:29:35They had values
00:29:37Hey I got one for you
00:29:38If you had to blow some guy
00:29:39Who would it be
00:29:40Excuse me
00:29:41Say you had to blow some guy
00:29:42Who would you pick
00:29:43I don't have to blow some guy
00:29:45Yeah I know you don't have to
00:29:46But if you did
00:29:47Who would it be
00:29:48I try not to entertain that thought
00:29:50And I don't think it's healthy
00:29:51When you do it
00:29:52Come on entertain me for a second
00:29:53They got a gun to your head
00:29:57Well if they got a gun to my head
00:29:59Odds are I'll be blowing one of them
00:30:01You're missing my point
00:30:02Your point
00:30:03I didn't realize there was a point
00:30:04Forget about it
00:30:05Alright
00:30:06Alright who are they
00:30:07Friends of yours
00:30:08No
00:30:09This doesn't make any sense
00:30:10I don't know look
00:30:11They're just guys alright
00:30:12They're like bored frat guys
00:30:13They're out on a drinking binge
00:30:15Looking for something to do
00:30:16Somebody gave him a gun
00:30:18I give up
00:30:19Who do I want to blow
00:30:20I don't know
00:30:21See neither do I
00:30:22You see that was an essential part of their relationship
00:30:25The conflict between fantasy and reality
00:30:29Yeah well blow jobs are great
00:30:31But not between two guys
00:30:33This isn't about sex
00:30:34That's not the point
00:30:36Wrong
00:30:38That is the point
00:30:40Sex
00:30:42You gotta have sex
00:30:44Real sex
00:30:46Sexy sex
00:30:48What sex between a guy and a gal
00:30:53Real sex
00:30:55Yeah like
00:30:56Baywatch
00:31:00Baywatch
00:31:01That's it
00:31:02Make it all happen at the beach
00:31:05The whole picture
00:31:07You reshoot all the witnesses
00:31:09At the beach
00:31:10You change the robbery
00:31:12To the beach
00:31:13Then you make Miranda a sexy sexy lifeguard
00:31:18And you send it to me
00:31:20Sealed with a kiss
00:31:22And I'll give it to you
00:31:24All he wanted was sex
00:31:26Sex
00:31:27Sex
00:31:28Really
00:31:30That's three sexes
00:31:32I always knew he was ambitious
00:31:33This is very discouraging
00:31:35Why come on you ready to give up already
00:31:37I thought you were a toughie
00:31:39I thought you had crust like me
00:31:40That's what I always liked about you
00:31:42That's not exactly what I expected
00:31:44What did you expect
00:31:45Somebody the first time you meet them
00:31:46They're gonna give you money
00:31:47To make you fuck up your little movie
00:31:51Come here
00:31:52Come here
00:31:53Come on
00:31:55Look this is a tough town
00:31:57You gotta pay your dues
00:31:58Sweetheart sit down
00:32:06It just seems like everyone wants to make a different movie
00:32:09Than the one that I want to make
00:32:11So what
00:32:12That's the town
00:32:13Everybody is a critic
00:32:14They go to screenings
00:32:16And they say
00:32:17Why wasn't so and so in that part
00:32:19Why can't the ending be different
00:32:21Come here
00:32:23I'm gonna set you up with Gus Schnuck
00:32:25The king of schlock
00:32:26He's not quite right for your picture
00:32:28But he's not a critic
00:32:29He wouldn't even pretend to know good from bad
00:32:31Come on in
00:32:32Come on in
00:32:33What do you mean you never heard of a topless toga
00:32:36What difference does it make
00:32:37That woman's knackers are so big
00:32:39You couldn't cover them anyway
00:32:41How you touch
00:32:42Look Harry
00:32:43I'm sorry
00:32:44We're gonna have to talk about this later
00:32:46I got a meeting now
00:32:47Yeah okay bye
00:32:49Have a seat please
00:32:50Sit down
00:32:51Meet my assistant
00:32:52Okay
00:32:53He started one of my worst pictures
00:32:55Fuck you
00:32:57You watch your mouth you little shit
00:32:59The picture was terrible
00:33:00But it made a fortune
00:33:01He thinks he should get all the money
00:33:03I'm a star
00:33:04I'm a star
00:33:05Shut up
00:33:07That's a beautiful bird
00:33:08Thank you
00:33:09So pick up where you left off
00:33:11You're making this movie now about an armed robbery
00:33:13The American dream
00:33:14Your cousin Jimmy
00:33:15Around that time
00:33:16Almost everyone was talking about McClintock's peach
00:33:19Peaches are good for you
00:33:20They're healthy
00:33:21Go to any health food store
00:33:22They'll tell you
00:33:23Peaches are number one
00:33:24And these
00:33:25Kissed by God
00:33:26I hate peaches
00:33:28Not just McClintock's peaches
00:33:29But all peaches
00:33:31After all
00:33:32If there weren't any peaches
00:33:34Dwayne Allman would be alive today
00:33:37The whole town had the fruit syndrome
00:33:40That infected everyone
00:33:41Particularly
00:33:42Jimmy and Virus
00:33:44You could say that
00:33:45Virus caught a virus
00:33:51Excuse me young lady
00:33:52Is the owner in?
00:33:54Oh
00:33:55Good Lord
00:33:56Broke the mold with you two
00:33:59Well
00:34:00I'll just put in
00:34:02A French loaf
00:34:04And
00:34:07A couple muffins for you
00:34:13Miranda was in earlier
00:34:15Huh
00:34:16Why don't you just quit your fussing and marry that girl
00:34:20I did
00:34:22Oh
00:34:24And you
00:34:25You ought to get yourself a steady
00:34:28Cause you're gonna catch something that won't wash off
00:34:32You don't want to grow old alone
00:34:34No ma'am
00:34:363.35
00:34:46When I lost Walter
00:34:48My life went into a tailspin
00:34:51I really do miss that man
00:34:53You know we did such good business here
00:34:56Before McClintock's opened
00:34:58Can't compete with that
00:35:00God-kissed peach
00:35:02Hi
00:35:03McClintock's
00:35:04Well
00:35:05McClintock's is really the
00:35:07Lifeblood of this town
00:35:09You know in large part that's because of
00:35:11Of these peaches
00:35:12These are some of the best peaches in the world
00:35:14They're really kind of
00:35:16God-kissed
00:35:17You know
00:35:18Listen
00:35:19They pump the revenue right into this city
00:35:22You see
00:35:23The thing is
00:35:24Every city
00:35:25Every major city has that
00:35:26That one special attraction
00:35:27You know New York has the Statue of Liberty
00:35:29And San Antonio has the
00:35:31You know the Alamo
00:35:33We have
00:35:34Peaches
00:35:35Now this peach
00:35:37Did you get that?
00:35:38Are we in frame?
00:35:39This peach
00:35:40Was eaten by President
00:35:42Ronald Reagan
00:35:45He came to this city
00:35:46Just for the peaches
00:35:49Actually
00:35:50Well
00:35:51I think actually he was lost
00:35:52But the point is that
00:35:54He took one bite of that peach
00:35:57And
00:35:58Well he had to leave
00:35:59But I was fortunate
00:36:00Because I grabbed that peach
00:36:01Before he left
00:36:03And
00:36:05It's a little rotted now
00:36:06You can probably see
00:36:07But those are his actual teeth marks
00:36:11I'm pretty sure that
00:36:12They were his real teeth
00:36:14Excuse me Sarah
00:36:15Who do you see as a peach expert?
00:36:17Frank Stiller
00:36:18What?
00:36:19What are you a casting director?
00:36:20That's exactly who I saw
00:36:22Really?
00:36:23Really
00:36:24Go on
00:36:25Frank Stiller
00:36:26Frank Stiller
00:36:27Not you, you dummy
00:36:28Her
00:36:29Please
00:36:30Fuck you
00:36:31I'm a star
00:36:32Frank Stiller
00:36:33I'm warning you
00:36:34You're right on the edge
00:36:35You're gonna get it
00:36:36I'm sorry
00:36:37Please go ahead
00:36:39As I was saying
00:36:40By now
00:36:41Jimmy and Byrus
00:36:42Had zeroed in on McClintock's
00:36:43But they were still afraid of getting caught
00:36:45I feel really good about the plan
00:36:49I really, you know
00:36:50Feel good about the whole thing
00:36:51But I also feel like
00:36:52I'm gonna get caught
00:36:53No, do not do that
00:36:54Do not do that
00:36:55Look, I feel like
00:36:56I'm serious
00:36:57Don't think that way
00:36:58Look, I'm just saying
00:37:01No
00:37:02I know
00:37:03You really don't get it, do you?
00:37:04Listen up skater
00:37:05I'm gonna tell you once
00:37:06If you think it
00:37:07It will happen
00:37:08Well now this Jimmy
00:37:09Could he go psycho
00:37:10Like De Niro did
00:37:11At the end of Taxi Driver?
00:37:12You know, I mean
00:37:13That's something I could sell
00:37:14Uh, no
00:37:15But he could
00:37:16But he didn't
00:37:17But you're writing it
00:37:18So he could
00:37:19But it's a true story
00:37:20So he didn't
00:37:21Watch it, watch it
00:37:22Fuck you
00:37:23Fuck me
00:37:24Fuck you
00:37:25Teach him one bad word
00:37:26And he goes nuts
00:37:27Now what about music?
00:37:28This virus
00:37:29He could be a musician
00:37:30You know, kids love music
00:37:31I mean, soundtracks
00:37:32Can put a movie into black
00:37:33Even if it's a turkey
00:37:34You know
00:37:35Turkey
00:37:37I got the music in me
00:37:39I can feel it
00:37:40I just gotta find it
00:37:42We all do
00:37:44No, we all don't
00:37:46What you're feeling
00:37:47You see, there's a euphoria
00:37:48That comes along with
00:37:49Believing your own bullshit
00:37:50That's what you're feeling
00:37:51Not the music in you
00:37:53Well
00:37:55We mock
00:37:56What we don't understand
00:37:59You see, because
00:38:00The music
00:38:01She's my lady
00:38:02She's my muse
00:38:06But she's got a whole
00:38:07Lot of mean up
00:38:08Under that skirt of hers
00:38:11She taunts me
00:38:12Sits at the end of the bar
00:38:13And just before we lock eyes
00:38:14She's gone
00:38:16She's like a cold
00:38:17Cup of coffee
00:38:19Sweet, sweet music
00:38:22Jimmy and Byers
00:38:23Had meticulously planned
00:38:24The robbery with detail
00:38:25And precision
00:38:26Asking all the tough questions
00:38:28What does a professional
00:38:29Robber need for a robbery?
00:38:30You need a car
00:38:31And you need guns
00:38:32That's about it
00:38:33Mayonnaise?
00:38:34Mushrooms?
00:38:35I can get a car
00:38:36But what about guns?
00:38:37Pepsi?
00:38:38Please
00:38:39I get guns
00:38:40You can get guns
00:38:41I get guns
00:38:42You can get a car
00:38:43I'll get guns
00:38:44You can get a car
00:38:45I can get guns
00:38:46Then we get a car
00:38:47Guns
00:38:48Sandwich?
00:38:50Car
00:38:51Guns
00:38:53Masks
00:38:54Masks
00:39:01This is your idea
00:39:02For getting a car?
00:39:04What's your problem?
00:39:05I can rent a car
00:39:06And get guns, alright?
00:39:07Can you get guns, Nathan?
00:39:10Don't talk about guns
00:39:14Sorry
00:39:15You don't have to be sorry
00:39:17Don't talk about guns
00:39:18You know
00:39:19It's been hard
00:39:20I mean, I would have been
00:39:21In jail too sometimes
00:39:22Because she's a liar
00:39:23Because some people lie
00:39:24And she said
00:39:25First issue
00:39:26You remember when she was gone?
00:39:27She said she had Jersey
00:39:28She
00:39:29Bitch was in Hawaii
00:39:30I know she was
00:39:31Because she came back
00:39:32With a can
00:39:33And she was not
00:39:34Taking cigarettes
00:39:35She was smoking weed
00:39:36Because I know
00:39:37What weed smells like
00:39:38Weed
00:39:39No, that's not the point
00:39:40Weed
00:39:41Smells like
00:39:42No, weed
00:39:43It's kind of like
00:39:44Kind of like sour apple
00:39:45And it's also
00:39:46Kind of like
00:39:47Butter
00:39:48Kind of like butter
00:39:49And pine
00:39:50You don't like pine?
00:39:51No, not pine
00:39:52Pine
00:39:53The point is
00:39:54You don't smoke weed at work
00:39:55You can smoke weed
00:39:56Anywhere
00:39:57You don't smoke
00:39:58You smoke it on your time
00:39:59You don't smoke weed on my time
00:40:00You don't smoke weed
00:40:01Oh, I'm sorry
00:40:02I'm sorry
00:40:03I'm sorry
00:40:04I got it
00:40:05I'll call you back
00:40:07How sorry?
00:40:08Can I help you?
00:40:09Ah, yes
00:40:10Good afternoon
00:40:11We were quite taken
00:40:12With the cap and amonti
00:40:13We saw outside
00:40:14Is that considered
00:40:15A midsize?
00:40:26I know how it's spelled
00:40:28Of course you do
00:40:34Which car?
00:40:35Driver's license
00:40:36Yes
00:40:37Not on me
00:40:39You're gonna rent a car
00:40:41It's so funny to me
00:40:42How's that funny?
00:40:43We can't rent
00:40:44We don't have money to rent
00:40:45You don't need money to rent
00:40:46You pay when you return
00:40:48What if we don't get money?
00:40:49Then we don't return
00:40:50That's what they got insurance for
00:40:52Insurance is bullshit
00:40:53Good hands
00:40:54Hand job
00:40:55Reach around
00:40:56Bullshit
00:40:58I still don't see
00:40:59How renting is funny
00:41:00Well, it's not funny
00:41:01It's cheating
00:41:02Funny and cheating
00:41:03Are synonyms
00:41:04Whatever
00:41:05Whatever
00:41:06Good response
00:41:07I guess you win
00:41:09I'll just get Miranda's car
00:41:10No, no, no
00:41:12I'll just get Miranda's car
00:41:13She's pissed at you
00:41:15We need a car
00:41:16Why don't they steal a car?
00:41:17I mean, all they do is talk
00:41:19Not enough action
00:41:20Too much talk
00:41:23I warned you
00:41:24You shut up now
00:41:25Look, where's the action?
00:41:26The car chases
00:41:27The boards
00:41:30I told you never
00:41:31Never to mention that
00:41:35All right, that's it
00:41:36Now I'm gonna get you
00:41:42Miss me, miss me
00:41:43Parrot's got his number
00:41:46The parrot picture made him big money
00:41:49So he's afraid the parrot's gonna rat him out to the IRS
00:41:51But he can't kill him
00:41:52Because he needs him for the sequel
00:41:54Is everybody in this town nuts?
00:41:56Ninety percent
00:41:59I got a new strategy for us
00:42:02This lady
00:42:03Gave me my last job, right?
00:42:04She's now
00:42:05Big executive networks
00:42:07I don't know
00:42:09Maybe
00:42:10This could work
00:42:11As a movie of the week docudrama
00:42:14Darling, I can't make it a moment before nine
00:42:17Okay
00:42:19Go on
00:42:20With Jimmy and Virus only days away from the robbery
00:42:23It was clear there was only one thing they could do to stop them
00:42:26Themselves
00:42:27Stop right there
00:42:30Do you have any stars attached?
00:42:32No
00:42:34Then you're going to need a strong female lead
00:42:37This woman
00:42:38Is she more than just a run-of-the-mill wife, girlfriend, mistress
00:42:41Hooker with a heart of gold?
00:42:42You want a chick flick?
00:42:43I'll give you a chick flick
00:42:45Oh, she's strong, all right
00:42:47And there's a lot more where that came from
00:42:49I told you, Jimmy, get the fuck out of here
00:42:52I'm serious
00:42:54Get out
00:42:55So she's strong
00:42:58What about love?
00:42:59Is she in love?
00:43:01Oh, there's love
00:43:02I got robbed the other day
00:43:04Good, you deserve it
00:43:05Now just get out
00:43:06No, you're right, I promise
00:43:07I'm going to change Puddin
00:43:08I promise
00:43:09Wait, what did you just call me?
00:43:10Puddin
00:43:11Puddin?
00:43:12No, no, no
00:43:13You don't have the right to call me Puddin
00:43:14No more Puddin
00:43:16Okay, it used to be cute
00:43:17It's not cute anymore, Jimmy
00:43:19What's not cute about Puddin?
00:43:20Puddin
00:43:21That's cute
00:43:22Puddin
00:43:23Shut up
00:43:25All right, look
00:43:26Jimmy, I can't take this anymore, okay?
00:43:28It's been like a year, right?
00:43:30You watch videos all night
00:43:31You sleep all day
00:43:32Then you hang out with Virus
00:43:33I need more, you know that?
00:43:35So just leave me be, okay?
00:43:37Do us both a favor
00:43:38Just get out of my life
00:43:43I need to borrow the car
00:43:46What?
00:43:47I need to borrow the car
00:43:49Well, no
00:43:51You can't borrow my car
00:43:53Your car?
00:43:54Yeah, my car
00:43:55The car
00:43:57You're so fucking gangly
00:43:59Oh
00:44:00You are so beautiful
00:44:02Oh, Jesus Christ
00:44:04What are you doing?
00:44:05Get away
00:44:06I've missed you so much
00:44:07I don't give a fuck
00:44:08I have somebody over here
00:44:10You can't come in
00:44:11Don't touch me
00:44:13Makes me want to puke when you touch me
00:44:15Get the fuck off me
00:44:26They're star-crossed lovers
00:44:28And they're sex
00:44:31Fuck
00:44:47So, can I get those guns now?
00:44:56I hope Jennifer told you
00:44:57I don't deal in any of that
00:44:58Saturday night special nonsense
00:45:00I've got clean, out-of-state
00:45:04Barely-been-used product
00:45:07High resale value
00:45:11Now
00:45:12Yeah
00:45:13They might seem a little big
00:45:14But they're not
00:45:17You show me some patience
00:45:18I get you a Smith & Wesson .38
00:45:20Basically, snub-nosed service revolvers
00:45:22Get the job done
00:45:23.38s are not as big as these
00:45:28Yeah
00:45:30Hello, ladies
00:45:40You laughing at me, huh?
00:45:41You laughing at me?
00:45:42What am I, a clown?
00:45:43Do I amuse you?
00:45:44I'm funny now, huh?
00:45:45You must be laughing at me
00:45:46I don't see anybody else around here
00:45:47You're mixing your movies, dipshit
00:45:49What?
00:45:50You're mixing your movies
00:45:52Oh, no
00:45:53How the fuck do I amuse you, huh?
00:45:56That's Joe Pesci
00:45:57Joe Pesci wouldn't text a driver
00:45:59That's what I'm saying
00:46:00You're mixing your movies
00:46:02No, I'm not
00:46:04Whatever
00:46:05Whatever
00:46:06Good response
00:46:07I guess you win
00:46:08You know
00:46:10Jennifer said you'd have 32 revolvers
00:46:13What?
00:46:15Jennifer told me earlier
00:46:16That you have 32 revolvers
00:46:18Jennifer told me earlier
00:46:19You'd have 32 revolvers
00:46:20Jennifer told me earlier
00:46:21You'd have 32 revolvers
00:46:22Well, guess what, assface
00:46:23I'm doing you a favor
00:46:25I could get rid of these guns
00:46:26For at least 300 dollars apiece
00:46:28Tonight
00:46:31You know what?
00:46:32I'll take those
00:46:33Yeah, yeah, you will
00:46:34600 bucks, first of the month
00:46:35Don't make me come looking for you
00:46:36Kiss
00:46:38Great
00:46:39I'm keeping the jacket
00:46:40You're gonna keep the jacket, great
00:46:42Go on, get out of here
00:46:44I got work to do
00:46:47So
00:46:48We have sex
00:46:50Love
00:46:51A felony
00:46:53And guns
00:46:56I love guns
00:46:59But I'm not sure I buy the bit about
00:47:01Getting the guns from the girlfriend
00:47:04Oh, well
00:47:05I interviewed a gun expert
00:47:08Oh
00:47:10I'm all ears
00:47:11Tell me more
00:47:13You should buy
00:47:14From a licensed dealer
00:47:15Like me
00:47:16But you can get guns anyway
00:47:19You wanna feel one?
00:47:22Well
00:47:23If you don't have cold steel relaxer
00:47:25Against the fleshy part of your finger
00:47:28Then you just ain't alive
00:47:30It's hard, shiny
00:47:32And has beautiful curls
00:47:35And it won't yell at you when you're bad
00:47:37And it won't spank you for talking back
00:47:39No
00:47:41And it's your friend
00:47:43Your best friend
00:47:45You wanna hold one?
00:47:49You know, guns
00:47:50Are what made this country great
00:47:53Don't you agree?
00:47:56Come on
00:47:57Feel it
00:47:58Well, I'd rather not
00:47:59I don't believe in guns
00:48:02Well, you know
00:48:03You don't know what it's like until you
00:48:05You touch the love shaft
00:48:07Of Mr. Smith
00:48:08Or Mr. West
00:48:10Actually, being a girl
00:48:12It's alright for me not to be into guns
00:48:14What do you mean, being a girl?
00:48:16That's all the more reason you need one
00:48:18All these crazies in the streets
00:48:20You wanna be raped?
00:48:21No
00:48:22You carry a gun
00:48:24And you hold it in your arms
00:48:26And you suck on the barrel
00:48:28Like it's your mama's titty
00:48:30I really don't wanna do this
00:48:32Watch out!
00:48:35Oh
00:48:38That must have been heaven
00:48:42What?
00:48:43Feeling the gun and actually
00:48:45Having it go off
00:48:48In your hand
00:48:50Well
00:48:51Actually, it scared me to death
00:48:55You mean you don't like guns?
00:49:03Does that mean you don't want me to continue?
00:49:10Eight
00:49:11Did I mention I saw Ben Stiller as the peach expert?
00:49:14Love you too, darling
00:49:16Bye
00:49:17Bye
00:49:22Maybe we should go the indie route
00:49:24You can't get a studio picture made these days
00:49:26Without big stars
00:49:27Yet, that has nothing to do with whether the film makes money or loses money
00:49:30It's all about keeping your job
00:49:32What do you mean?
00:49:33Well, let's say
00:49:34You got a terrific script, right?
00:49:36But you put two morons, Jimmy and Virus in it, right?
00:49:39No studio's gonna go for that
00:49:40Why?
00:49:41Because if the film loses money
00:49:42Then the executive who gave it the green light
00:49:44Is gonna lose his job
00:49:45On the other hand
00:49:46You get Tom Hanks
00:49:47Or whoever else is the flavor of the money
00:49:49Then, the film tanks
00:49:50It's Tom Hanks' fault
00:49:51Or, even better yet, the director
00:49:54I've got Ben Stiller
00:49:55Oh
00:49:57Very nice, that's good
00:49:58That's a start
00:49:59So, what do I do?
00:50:00Hold on
00:50:03Yeah
00:50:05Oh, Phil, yeah, listen
00:50:06I got my
00:50:08No, no, no, I know we got business
00:50:11Phil, hold on for a second, okay?
00:50:13Listen, this is a long shot
00:50:15Yeah, I'll call you right back
00:50:17Just stay where you are
00:50:18Don't move, okay?
00:50:19Bye
00:50:23I don't know why I didn't think about this before
00:50:25That's my bookie
00:50:26He's got a network
00:50:27He puts money in a lot of independent movies
00:50:29Your bookie?
00:50:30Uh-huh
00:50:31Well, he books for all the writers
00:50:33A good friend of mine
00:50:34Couldn't pay him, right?
00:50:35So he gave him his script
00:50:36The picture became a huge hit
00:50:38The guy is now hooked on movies
00:50:42Hi, I'm Sarah Wilder
00:50:44I'm here to see Phil Phillips
00:50:47Hey, Phil!
00:50:48A Miss Sarah Wilder here to see you
00:50:50Send her in
00:50:51Go ahead
00:51:00Sarah Wilder
00:51:01Any friend of Lou's is a friend of mine
00:51:03Actually, I'm his niece
00:51:04I know that
00:51:05So Lou told me a little bit about this picture
00:51:07Are there any cars in it?
00:51:09Yes
00:51:12Yeah, you did
00:51:15You know, Blue Smoke played with the Griffgrans boys
00:51:17Really?
00:51:18I mean, he could've
00:51:19He's got amazing
00:51:22Somebody's got the music in him
00:51:26Not anymore
00:51:27Let's see him
00:51:29Just drive
00:51:30I'm doing stuff over here you couldn't even comprehend
00:51:33Beretta 9mm?
00:51:36This makes it official
00:51:37Oh, yeah
00:51:38For crooks
00:51:39That's cool
00:51:40Forty-five?
00:51:41Lucky
00:51:42That's an expensive gun
00:51:44Only two things nicer than an expensive gun
00:51:46That'd be your Swiss watch and your pretty girl
00:51:48What's that pretty girl's name?
00:51:49Is it pretty?
00:51:50Is it pretty?
00:51:51Yeah, jolly
00:51:52Yeah, jolly
00:51:53Down the ditch, jolly
00:51:54Jolly, down the ditch
00:51:55Now, jolly
00:51:58That never happens again
00:52:01Never
00:52:06We live and die by the risk of dying
00:52:09We live and die by the risk of the heist
00:52:10What?
00:52:11We live and die by the risk of the heist
00:52:13What does that mean?
00:52:15Right now, nothing
00:52:19How'd they get this car?
00:52:20It was Miranda's car, Jimmy's wife
00:52:23They didn't steal it or jack it?
00:52:25No
00:52:27Let me get this straight
00:52:28They're planning a robbery
00:52:30And they're gonna use a car that belongs to his wife?
00:52:32What are they, idiots?
00:52:34They aren't the two brightest guys in the world
00:52:37Hero
00:52:38Okay, good one
00:52:39Uh, we get in there and there's a dumb guy who wants to be a hero
00:52:42Okay, how dumb are we talking?
00:52:43Alright, everything's going as planned, right?
00:52:45Smooth as silk, just like clockwork
00:52:47All of a sudden, some guy hops up off the floor and figures
00:52:50Hey, this is a good time to get in the newspapers
00:52:52I'll foil this robbery
00:52:53Yeah, I'm a hero, I'm a hero, react
00:52:55Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
00:52:57Alright, you better just dial it down, alright?
00:52:59Just dial it down, numbnuts
00:53:01Before Mr. Thundermaker starts shittin' some bullets
00:53:07Don't worry, take another one
00:53:09Okay
00:53:10This is going great
00:53:11Thanks, man
00:53:12You're doing well
00:53:13Thank you
00:53:14Pregnant woman's water poops
00:53:15Pops
00:53:16Pops
00:53:17Pops
00:53:18Pops
00:53:19Pops
00:53:20Pops
00:53:21Pops
00:53:22Pops
00:53:23Pops
00:53:24Pops
00:53:25Pops
00:53:26Pops
00:53:27Pops
00:53:28Pops
00:53:29Pops
00:53:30Pops
00:53:31Pops
00:53:32Pops
00:53:33Pops
00:53:34Pops
00:53:35Whatever
00:53:36Yeah
00:53:39Morons
00:53:40This picture's about two morons
00:53:43Jimmy and Virus had practiced
00:53:45And rehearsed the robbery for days
00:53:47It was the hardest work they'd done since, well, ever
00:53:50There was no turning back
00:53:51This was it
00:53:52Their moment of truth
00:53:54We just parked the car
00:53:55We blocked the location
00:53:56We walked slow
00:53:57We're just two guys walking
00:53:58What if we see cops
00:53:59It doesn't matter
00:54:00We're just two guys walking
00:54:01We're just two guys that happen to be walking
00:54:02We determine the area is secure
00:54:03Then we move forward
00:54:04Then we move forward. We're at the entrance, we pull out the guns, we run in, we grab the money, we run out.
00:54:08How long are we gonna be there?
00:54:09Two minutes.
00:54:10Two minutes tops. Not two and a half, not three. Two minutes.
00:54:13Let's try one.
00:54:30You ready?
00:54:31Candy from a baby.
00:54:32On your mark.
00:54:34Get set.
00:54:36Go.
00:54:41What's the name of this store, please?
00:54:45McClintock's Grocery.
00:54:47Thank you.
00:54:48We're here, we've just done some remodeling.
00:54:51That's nice.
00:54:52Ahh!
00:54:53That's not necessary.
00:54:54Alright, listen up, people!
00:54:56This is a robbery!
00:54:58We don't want any trouble.
00:54:59So if you want to be stupid, let's do it now and get it over with
00:55:04Look, nobody plays tough guy, but me. All right, we have a gun and we got a car
00:55:11Okay, so we live and die by the risk of the highest
00:55:15No need for all this shouting if you're here for the peaches, I'm sure we can work something out. I
00:55:22Think I'm speaking for the group when I say nobody here wants to take a bullet. I
00:55:27Know I don't hey, you need to do some shopping great time
00:55:33Look he's cool. Let's go, huh?
00:55:35Just like we planned look wipe that curly Joe smile up your stupid melon and just open the register
00:55:40Now you don't have to take that Lawrence. Shut up you apron wearing fake tooth pie
00:55:47You don't have to be mean they'll do what we say we got guns
00:55:51Back off you beanpole Ichabod cream motherfucker. I don't remember rehearsing this part
00:55:57This whole thing was your idea
00:55:58So if I don't meet your expectations of what a professional grocery store robber should be I'd like to take this time to apologize
00:56:03In front of all the fine folks here at McClintock's. Hey everybody
00:56:07beaches on me
00:56:12Hey
00:56:14Well, we're a little behind but we're still professionals we deserve better than this
00:56:20No, you don't but you know what does
00:56:23This cow this cow deserves better than this
00:56:27You and your big McClintock's market. I got raw meat
00:56:32So let's make with that cash and coin colonel Tom. I do it. He ain't right
00:56:42No time for that dear now these fellas
00:56:46It's all pitch in come on, please come on there's a few more dollars
00:56:50We're gonna say to give to the church, but you might as well take the whole thing
00:56:58Take us home clean. That's it. Let's go
00:57:09Morons, these are the two dumbest guys I ever heard of it appeared the Jimmy and virus had actually pulled off a successful robbery without getting
00:57:17Caught anything to do with McClintock's was a big story in town
00:57:21So tell us were you at the robbery or not?
00:57:25Yeah
00:57:27Yeah, I was there, okay, is that what you want to hear?
00:57:30I was there in the store when the three guys burst in wearing ski masks pointing guns and shouting
00:57:35Okay, we were there and I didn't see a lot. Do you see a lot?
00:57:43Well, I thought they were after the missus at first I didn't know what was going on
00:57:46My first thought of course was was the peaches
00:57:49And then I thought the missus because you never know what two men like this
00:57:53Desperate are gonna do with a beautiful young woman like this. He didn't get a good
00:58:09I remember them. I remember that day was really a bad day for me because I was here by myself
00:58:15Because
00:58:17Somebody else wasn't here with me. So it was all different
00:58:20So I remember that day was really distinctly I'd stick the peaches up my ass if we do something, sir
00:58:28I'd have a whole crate up my rectal vault if I meant that I didn't have this freaking eye
00:58:35Okay, I stole five peaches is that it is that what you want to hear I stole five pieces all right
00:58:41What did you want me to do they were rolling around the floor like a bunch of valleys
00:58:44What was I supposed to do? Everybody was taking them
00:58:47The Samoan took three
00:58:51Yeah, there was a Samoan yeah, I'm pretty sure a really big Filipino
00:58:59Excuse me. Mm-hmm Jack. Yeah
00:59:04Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm
00:59:06Mm-hmm big sky gym in the fourth. Mm-hmm
00:59:10Something fishy, okay
00:59:13No more action in the fall
00:59:17Excuse me
00:59:17Anyway, the initial 48 hours after the robbery were crucial how Jimmy and virus would act would either mean a successful getaway
00:59:25or prison
00:59:27Do what? Yeah being pulled Ichabod crane
00:59:32motherfucker
00:59:35Yeah, I wanted to
00:59:37Talk to you about that because we should definitely discuss that yeah because I
00:59:44Got really swept up in the moment, and I'm not proud of it, but the guy in that store standing on that
00:59:51Counter and just shouting berating you
00:59:55And the guy sitting on this counter
00:59:58Talking to you
01:00:01Are two
01:00:02different guys
01:00:04Where's the feller done all the hollering love to have a little chin wag with him
01:00:10Well, he asked me to tell you they sorry and he won't be coming around here anymore I know that much
01:00:17That you can
01:00:20He and he also asked me
01:00:25To give you this
01:00:28No, but that that's what he was
01:00:35I
01:00:37Wish you don't thank you
01:00:40Definitely will
01:00:42And I would also like to take you out
01:00:45To dinner or something like that, you know, I
01:00:48Can't believe we're having this conversation. Look me in the eye and tell me
01:00:54I've never ever slept with Miranda. I don't believe you I
01:01:01Give up you give up because you know, I'm right
01:01:04Do you honestly think if I'd ever had sex with her even before we met I wouldn't have brought it up
01:01:13It sucks
01:01:15Let's talk about something else. No, don't numb that
01:01:19Stop it. Just put it out of your mind
01:01:21And think about Kennedy taking a bullet to the back of the head. It's science valid science. It's been proven. You're a dick
01:01:28I'm a dick. You're a dick then you're my balls
01:01:31sunshine
01:01:32We can ask trade
01:01:37Sean Connery, why Sean Connery? It's the only answer. How do you figure?
01:01:43Okay
01:01:47You're out at some abandoned warehouse, right
01:01:49These guys got a gun to your head cuz you got a blow one of them
01:01:53Bring me Sean Connery then before you begin the actual blow. You look at put Sean like
01:01:59Okay, Sean, I'm gonna give you the signal we drop these guys and get the hell out of here
01:02:07Yeah, what if Sean's not with you
01:02:14At least you're blowing one of the grapes, huh, this is a fucked-up conversation
01:02:18Oh
01:02:22Frankie see Frankie see Jesus Christ in the back Frankie. Oh, son of a bitch. Are you though?
01:02:29That was a great
01:02:32Say hello to Sarah no, no you stay
01:02:37She's telling me about this movie she's got this movie idea, you know, she's lose knees. You remember Lou nice guy
01:02:43She's telling me this story about a idiot cousin. Go ahead
01:02:48They just knocked off a peach store
01:02:51Actually is a grocery store that specialized in peaches. Whatever. Whatever. Go ahead
01:03:01Can't tell me you don't think about getting caught
01:03:04What are you doing? I asked you not to do that. You can't tell me you don't think about it. That's great. Thanks a lot
01:03:11You jinxed us. That's
01:03:13Sorry, don't don't touch me
01:03:19I
01:03:24Where are you going? I'm leaving you tainted the roof now, I can never come up here again and I paid my rent
01:03:31We're not jinxed
01:03:34Turn to the right
01:03:40When I first heard Jimmy was involved I
01:03:44Didn't want to believe it. I
01:03:46Don't even know what you guys are doing here cuz Jimmy and I are completely done. We were totally separated
01:03:51So I don't really have anything to tell you
01:03:59Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, so you're gonna send those pictures to the cops Jimmy's gonna love this
01:04:06What are you kidding me? The cops are looking all over for me, right? So by sending them pictures it shows I'm not scared
01:04:12It's the risk of the hunt baby do not baby me. Are you insane?
01:04:16They see the photos with me and you and they're gonna put two and two together. It's me. They're after that's right
01:04:22I don't even know you that's right. You don't know me. Why are you advertising our affiliation?
01:04:28Patty Patty sweet innocent Patty. Look, I want you to know that no matter what happens to me
01:04:35They're gonna forget about you
01:04:37Where are you from? What are you not understanding? They see the photos with me on your lap
01:04:43God, I know this is tough for you
01:04:46You know, but I need you to stand tall and be strong and know that no matter what happens
01:04:51All right, when a tear runs down your face, it's not a tear. Okay. It's me. Just saying. I love you
01:04:55Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay. Yeah, I think I get it now. All right. Okay. Well, I
01:05:01Gotta run
01:05:08I
01:05:18Hello, yes, who am I speaking with please? Well, hello officer Sturgis. This is dick Pang on
01:05:24I need you to do me a favor if you could
01:05:26Come and find me you fat donut eating wife beating sad excuse for a cop 10-4 10-4 10-4
01:05:34Take off the glasses
01:05:38Uh
01:05:43Excuse me
01:05:45but this guy
01:05:47Cyrus virus his name's virus. Yeah virus Cyrus. Yeah. Yeah, you say he went to the cops
01:05:52Morons, I told you well, not exactly everyone had their own opinion on that
01:05:57feats of courage
01:05:59Combined with nobility of purpose. That's what these boys are about you you they they don't sit there in judgment
01:06:07judging other people's
01:06:08Idiosyncrasies, they're confident you what do you do? You ask questions? They don't ask questions. They give answers
01:06:15They do something you would do well to be more like them. That's all it just wasn't right in the head
01:06:21He used to come in here all the time and just be you know, handling the bread
01:06:28Of course when he was little he sure did fall down a lot when his daddy was home
01:06:33fires
01:06:35Knowing so, what do you think motivated him to rob McClintock's? I said, I know him. I'm not his mama
01:06:43You know virus and I have this really special connection that
01:06:47That Jimmy just he can't understand it. You know, I mean, he's so lost
01:06:54You know this place wouldn't be so depressing if you guys just chose a different color scheme
01:06:59maybe get away from your pastels because a dark color in a dark place that equals
01:07:04Equals dark
01:07:07You guys need to get brighter
01:07:12Your yellows
01:07:13burst of orange your blues
01:07:15Make a man's day go quicker, you know Truman
01:07:18I'd be willing to sit down with your commanding officer and discuss it with him if you think it would help move things along a bit
01:07:22Whatever, whatever good response. I guess you win, right?
01:07:33I
01:07:43Got your letter
01:07:45See you met Truman
01:07:49Asshole you got us caught you got us caught you jinxed us as your attorney. I
01:07:54Should tell you that this is my first case and I'm lost for words. I have no idea what to do and
01:08:01That worries me it's everybody in this picture an idiot
01:08:05I was just trying to tell the story like how it happened. Nobody could be that stupid
01:08:09Well, you had to know him especially Jimmy. That's his nature. You see they're very good people
01:08:14They just got in trouble for the wrong reasons
01:08:16And that's the point I want to make in the film if this goes to trial we'll need to create some doubt
01:08:22We need people to speak on your behalf and no one's willing to do that. Oh, there's gonna be somebody
01:08:27They're wondered they're mentioned, you know what I'm mentions that's what those boys are you would do well to be more like them
01:08:35You're boring. You know, they're on the roof. What what are you saying? You're on the roof. We need you to come down now
01:08:43Wow, are you my three? I'm sorry. I think it's my three. Are you the good men? Yes. We're the good men
01:08:49I'm Sarah. This is my husband Lester now, please come down off the road. I'm sorry
01:08:56That's my three o'clock. Okay. I'll be there in a jiffy. Okay
01:09:00See either you got it or you don't got it and this kid virus. He sure don't got it
01:09:07You know, Jimmy pretty much did the whole thing to impress me. I mean, he's just sort of driven
01:09:13By his love for me and he's so gangly, you know, it's like a little
01:09:17thin
01:09:20McClintock's are well respected in the community and you two have pissed off that community
01:09:26Those god-kissed peaches put this city on the map. They said let's have everything in the in the safe
01:09:32Well, I handed to him they were out the door and I want to say what I let you down
01:09:36I didn't give you everything I had in the safe and I was going to run after them and the missus of no
01:09:42They made their bed. Let them lie in it. No, we added that to the insurance
01:09:47Oh
01:09:49Gentlemen
01:09:50I've gone over your case almost three times and
01:09:55I'm sorry to say but I don't see any loopholes. There's no way around this evidence
01:09:59You're gonna be in here for a while
01:10:01Either you were born with the gift or you're not I hate to break it to you. You were born without the gift Oh
01:10:10Sinner man, can't you hear me say?
01:10:17Oh
01:10:19So you're jealous yeah jealous because I unleashed the music
01:10:25Kill me
01:10:27Somebody anybody, please kill me
01:10:34It's you oh and whose bright idea was it to send those photographs to the police
01:10:42They
01:10:46Knew you were mocking
01:10:48Yes, I
01:10:50Know virus. Yes, we slept together. I got it lit great. And yes, that may be me in the picture with him
01:10:59But the money I was counting is my money money. I busted my quit it
01:11:03money, I busted my ass to get
01:11:05I'm not gonna bullshit you quit
01:11:07Sorry, you're not sorry. You always fucking keep at me and am you picking at me?
01:11:14Just shut up
01:11:16fucking retard
01:11:18Look, I'm not you are retarded. No, you are retarded. I've got some some schooling
01:11:25Some schooling don't lose hope fellas because listen from what I've heard
01:11:30There's a judge in the Fifth Circuit Court who can maybe get you a lighter sentence. Maybe
01:11:35Little as eight years
01:11:39Jimmy and virus tried to make the best of their incarceration
01:11:42They started a congenial con policy and tried to meet at least one new felon a day with this new approach
01:11:48They met arsonists armed robbers and even some interesting murderers. Are you here? Okay?
01:11:55Who wants to know my name is Jimmy
01:11:58You and your buddy Robin Klintox, yeah that took balls
01:12:04Yeah
01:12:06Say Harold
01:12:09What if I ask you a question no, I didn't kill my grandma I
01:12:15Talked a lot about it. I even write about it in my journal, but that's because that's what I am a writer not a killer
01:12:23Now that I'm in here I can write all I want
01:12:25Past the time I do a bit of reading too. I read I'm a reader
01:12:35You look like Joe Perry for Meryl Smith
01:12:41What kind of stuff you read, you know, I like to read a lot of books about you know
01:12:45Leadership and free thinking they taught me to realize just what I am, you know
01:12:51Yeah, I do know. Yeah, I mean it's your life. You want to live it on your terms, right?
01:12:54Yeah, I think of myself of a as a sure thinker, you know a leader, you know
01:13:00My grandma though, man. She was always telling me what to do. You know, I hated that. I don't like people tell me what to do
01:13:05I'm the same way. Finally. I meet somebody who gets it. Yeah, cuz I'm a leader not a follower. I don't follow
01:13:11I don't follow I lead. I'm the same way
01:13:15Man but sometimes she just wouldn't let up, you know
01:13:19Follow me around the house like a parrot on my shoulder, you know into my ear every five minutes
01:13:24You know, don't forget to dot your eyes. Don't forget to cross your T's, you know
01:13:27She jumped on a vein and suck it dry. You know what I'm saying over and over
01:13:33To make me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know what I'm doing
01:13:39I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm thinking
01:13:41You know what I'm saying over and over
01:13:44tomato dumplings
01:13:46Why would it
01:13:48Why would any woman get up in the morning and decide that I like tomato dumplings? What's up with that?
01:13:53I never even knew what one was until it showed up on my plate. Huh? What kind of sick game is she playing? Huh?
01:14:00No, I didn't kill her. You know what whoever did kill her man. They were right on man this journal
01:14:06This journals my escape this journals my way out
01:14:09Huh, the only way to keep my head clear is to write short stories about corking up her mouth hole
01:14:24What are you working on now? Oh, it's a short story about my brother's wife. It's called you and your goddamn pies
01:14:31Okay, I'm gonna
01:14:36Harold I want you to have a very nice day. It's supposed to rain. Yeah. Hey
01:14:42You know Hitler was a leader
01:14:46Okay
01:14:47Are we rolling? Okay. Hey Jimmy Jimmy
01:14:53Pay attention. Okay. I want to ask you a question
01:14:56What what were you thinking?
01:14:58What do you
01:14:59Look, you know
01:15:01We're we weren't waiting around for any handouts. If that's what you mean, you know, we saw we wanted and we went out and took it
01:15:06That's what makes America America. You see something you want and you figure out how to get it
01:15:12And I did what I did. I
01:15:15Didn't like people telling me what to do. Hey, Jimmy breaks over
01:15:19You got a prison to paint. Let's go
01:15:22Well, you know
01:15:24Looking back on it now. I suppose
01:15:26Looking back on it now, I suppose I suppose they do some things differently
01:15:32You know, I don't even know if I'd do it again
01:15:34I
01:15:57Wanted to see you and I figured you'd want to see me too. Why would I want to see you?
01:16:05You know, he told me to get my shit together and I have you've been here five months you're in jail
01:16:09I don't call that getting your shit together
01:16:13I'm a professional
01:16:16And I wrote you a poem
01:16:20You're not gonna read it art Jimmy Jimmy you have sunk to new depths Jimmy Jimmy if you read that
01:16:25We are both gonna be so embarrassed. Okay
01:16:28No, we won't yes, I will so if you want to give me something just just make me a license plate or something
01:16:35I'm a ring by Jimmy
01:16:41Of course we think
01:16:43I've put you through so much. I want nothing more than just to feel your touch. Okay, please don't do this, Jimmy
01:16:50Jimmy, please I'm thinking of you and my heart is breaking
01:16:53They tell me to shut up get back to rake it
01:16:59So for the state in my filth I've wallowed and for you my love my pride
01:17:06I've swallowed
01:17:08Okay, that's that's just darling it. I think this can't be true. I shouldn't be here. I should be at home
01:17:16Protecting you
01:17:18I'm not oh my god. I gotta get out of here. All right. Thanks for listening and making a long drive
01:17:25I really appreciate it. Careful on the drive home
01:17:29People are nuts out there
01:17:38Okay, I love you
01:17:41This summer virus comes over and he's like, how's it going? How's it going?
01:17:45I love you
01:17:46this summer virus comes over and he's like helping me paint the kitchen right and
01:17:51Jimmy gets in his head that I want to sleep with virus, which would fucking kill virus, right? I mean
01:17:58He's just so pathetic
01:18:04Hey virus
01:18:06Virus you help me out here. There's some I'm not clear on let's hear it
01:18:12Was that me that was always thinking about us getting caught or was I the one who said if you think it it'll happen
01:18:19because I
01:18:20Remember hearing it. I just don't remember if that was me saying it to you. Are you saying it to me?
01:18:25All right, right now. I remember right, right
01:18:29I was the one who said nothing exists thinking makes it so you were the one who kept willing us to get caught
01:18:36That's right
01:18:39And did we get caught I forget
01:18:42Oh
01:18:44Sure, we did right we're we're raking cuz we have to not cuz we enjoy it, right?
01:18:52We're in prison right now. That's right. So I was right and you got us caught
01:19:01Okay, right
01:19:04Hey virus, do me a favor. Would you do not think about us dying a slow painful death in prison?
01:19:11And above all don't think about what's in your heart of hearts your hearts cuz that's where us getting caught lives
01:19:19Admit it Rockstar. You got us caught
01:19:24Yeah, I guess so
01:19:31No, I'm not deaf just thinking about fucking Miranda
01:19:40I'm kidding
01:19:46The only thing that kept Jimmy going was blaming virus for jinxing them and to get out by any means possible
01:19:53Escape if necessary. Just a couple of times. Let's sweep them. Don't want no trouble here boss cuz I'm just a sweeper
01:20:00Let's get all the trash
01:20:02Ready?
01:20:05Murph
01:20:09Get set go
01:20:12I
01:20:38Was kidding
01:20:43I
01:20:50I'm not gonna bullshit you. I don't have the time and you if you fucking touch me and you don't have the film
01:20:57But if you need some I can hook you up
01:21:01Not good film though. It's really cheap film. Yeah, take it from a retard. She he knows about film quality. I do
01:21:09I'm a savant
01:21:13Yeah, make a wish
01:21:18Now I still got the fucking eye
01:21:20Yeah, I was there. I'm really glad those guys Rob McClain talks far as I'm concerned
01:21:25Those boys did a service to the community. Those boys are heroes
01:21:29Jimmy and virus big day finally arrived their first meeting in front of the parole board
01:21:35Well, I hope you've learned a few things
01:21:37While you've been here in the last six months
01:21:40Absolutely sure did
01:21:42I'll take that as a yes. Yes
01:21:53I suppose we have no choice but to reluctantly
01:21:57return you
01:21:59son
01:22:00we
01:22:01Never intended to harm anyone
01:22:04We respect and appreciate your honesty now once you go through that door to the outside. I don't want to see you back in here again
01:22:13Not while I'm here and I'm going to be all right, that's all
01:22:18I
01:22:31What if they can't find Sean Connery then it's considered a forfeit
01:22:35Come on, that doesn't make any sense and I'd pick Churchill, you know
01:22:40Everybody picks some guy. They know they can't get that's cheating
01:22:44You're making up these rules as you go along. I think that's your opinion
01:22:48Come on, you're making up the rules, didn't you?
01:22:52Catch a little something something what?
01:22:56Wow a Mississippi blue snorkel Otaka
01:23:00Yeah, these are commemoratives. They only made a million of these. I
01:23:04Was able to track one down
01:23:07I'm gonna head in
01:23:08Let her know I'm home. Sure this
01:23:11Oh, she's gonna love that. I get a feeling she is
01:23:18Oh
01:23:36You'd be strong see you man. Yeah, seriously, it's been fun had a blast right back at you
01:23:44Take it easy. You know, we'll do it again
01:23:48I
01:24:18I
01:24:49I like it
01:24:58It might not be the best film in the world, but it's my first film and I got it made I
01:25:03Love Frankie and Phil for giving me a chance. And of course my uncle
01:25:08So if you're someone like me who wants to make a movie find an uncle or better yet
01:25:13Find a bookie who has an oddly pair shop who loves the movie
01:25:18I'm
01:25:39Killing you know that you're busting my balls. Yeah, I got the
01:25:49It's all
01:25:54Cuz nobody knows what the future holds nobody knows anything till it goes it takes off to the next level of the game
01:26:00Until then you don't know a damn thing
01:26:18I
01:26:48I
01:27:18Was waiting
01:27:48Questions nobody knows
01:27:50how to explain the things that nobody knows
01:27:52people these days they think and act like you know
01:27:54but nobody not even you know
01:27:56Woody Wonka, Tony Hedon, Danny Seroson, Danny Seroson, Danny Seroson
01:27:58Danny Seroson