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TVTranscript
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00:01:00 [MUSIC]
00:01:10 Surprise.
00:01:13 >> What do we have here?
00:01:14 >> This is the puppet I had when I was a little girl.
00:01:16 And guess what, Jamie?
00:01:20 This is your new best friend, Simon.
00:01:21 >> [LAUGH] >> Merry Christmas.
00:01:25 [MUSIC]
00:01:27 We should watch a horror movie.
00:01:29 >> Wow. >> New family tradition.
00:01:31 >> Okay.
00:01:32 [MUSIC]
00:01:42 >> Isn't he a little young for this?
00:01:46 >> You're never too young for good movies.
00:01:48 [LAUGH] Get over here.
00:01:50 [MUSIC]
00:02:00 [MUSIC]
00:02:10 [MUSIC]
00:02:20 [MUSIC]
00:02:30 [MUSIC]
00:02:43 [MUSIC]
00:02:53 [MUSIC]
00:03:06 [MUSIC]
00:03:16 [MUSIC]
00:03:31 [MUSIC]
00:03:41 >> I miss mom.
00:03:50 >> This ends now.
00:03:53 >> Me too.
00:03:55 >> Me too.
00:03:56 [MUSIC]
00:04:01 >> Jennifer. >> What would make me happy?
00:04:02 What would make me happy, Robert?
00:04:04 >> Please, I don't want you- >> I want Jamie to start looking to me as
00:04:07 a mother.
00:04:08 Susan is gone and he is still watching that garbage.
00:04:11 It's inappropriate.
00:04:12 >> Janet, please.
00:04:13 >> No, Robert, please.
00:04:14 I am so done with this.
00:04:16 If you don't do something now with this place, that puppet, and
00:04:19 that horror movie shit, you're gonna raise a fucking serial killer, okay?
00:04:24 Enough, enough.
00:04:26 >> Stop, what are you doing?
00:04:28 >> Something I should have done a lot sooner.
00:04:31 >> The red man, stop.
00:04:33 Dad.
00:04:34 >> Janet.
00:04:35 >> These have got to go.
00:04:38 >> A sorority girl's bloodbath?
00:04:39 This one's actually pretty good.
00:04:40 >> Really?
00:04:41 >> Please don't throw them away.
00:04:42 I won't watch them anymore, I promise.
00:04:44 >> There's lots of other things you can watch.
00:04:46 How about something educational, hm?
00:04:48 And you know what's going next?
00:04:49 That horrible looking puppet thing.
00:04:51 It looks like something a pedophile lures children with.
00:04:54 >> He's not going anywhere.
00:04:55 >> Oh, we'll see about that.
00:04:57 >> Why are you being so mean to me?
00:04:59 >> Because it's time for you to grow up.
00:05:00 And I am not being mean.
00:05:03 Jesus.
00:05:11 >> I'll talk to her.
00:05:14 >> I'll see you in the morning.
00:05:22 >> You're still Mom's a bitch.
00:05:24 >> Mm-hmm.
00:05:28 >> Oh, now I'm the bad guy?
00:05:30 You're unbelievable.
00:05:32 >> We've talked about this.
00:05:33 You need to be a little more understanding.
00:05:36 >> Why am I always the bad guy, huh?
00:05:39 Maybe you should just grow a set of balls.
00:05:42 >> And not just around here, but at your job, too.
00:05:44 >> Oh, here we go again.
00:05:45 >> You're weak.
00:05:47 >> Of yours.
00:05:48 >> What did you say?
00:05:49 >> Nothing. I don't want to argue with you.
00:05:51 >> Oh, that's right.
00:05:52 I forgot it upsets your poor sensitive little tummy.
00:05:56 >> If you're not happy, which obviously you are not,
00:05:59 you can leave.
00:06:02 I don't care.
00:06:04 It's a two hour walk to the closest bus station.
00:06:06 Fuck you.
00:06:25 >> Good riddance.
00:06:32 >> Asshole.
00:06:40 Shit.
00:06:47 >> Janice.
00:06:50 Janice.
00:06:56 No one likes you, Janice.
00:07:06 >> Okay, who's down here?
00:07:09 Jamie?
00:07:11 [Groaning]
00:07:38 [Groaning]
00:07:48 [Bell ringing]
00:07:50 >> So I'm looking everywhere.
00:07:55 I just can't find them.
00:07:58 I can't find Simon.
00:08:00 I'm scared.
00:08:02 Like, really scared.
00:08:04 And then I hear this teeny tiny giggle.
00:08:08 >> I'm going to stop you there.
00:08:10 I'm just going to be blunt this time.
00:08:12 Jamie, you've been coming in here for years with this same shit.
00:08:17 >> My mom died.
00:08:18 >> Yes, your mother who showed an infant every day of his early developmental life
00:08:23 totally inappropriate films that gave you nightmares that still haunt you today.
00:08:29 Did your mother die?
00:08:30 Yes.
00:08:31 Of cancer.
00:08:32 Did your stepmother die?
00:08:35 She had an argument with your father and she left him.
00:08:39 Did a puppet murder her?
00:08:47 >> No.
00:08:48 >> No.
00:08:49 Jamie, did a puppet murder her?
00:08:58 No.
00:09:02 And are you still taking your medication?
00:09:05 Good.
00:09:07 Okay.
00:09:08 Change of topic.
00:09:10 You going anywhere for the Christmas break?
00:09:11 Yeah, me and my friends are going to my dad's cabin where Simon murdered my stepmom.
00:09:15 Oh, for fuck's sakes.
00:09:17 So, you all ready to get away?
00:09:19 Oh, my God, yes.
00:09:21 My mother won't stop texting me.
00:09:24 How was your day?
00:09:25 Did you get that extra thing that I packed you?
00:09:27 Did you get my last text?
00:09:29 She just cares about you, Jessie.
00:09:31 A little too much.
00:09:33 She just followed me on Instagram.
00:09:35 Oh, not Instagram.
00:09:37 Shut up.
00:09:38 Fuck you.
00:09:39 At least you have a mom.
00:09:43 I could get her to follow you, too, if you want.
00:09:47 I don't have Instagram.
00:09:48 I am.
00:09:50 Hey, are you all ready?
00:09:51 Oh, hell yeah.
00:09:52 I'm looking forward to it.
00:09:53 Got all the weed we're going to need.
00:09:55 What's up, fuckers?
00:09:57 What's going on?
00:09:58 Language.
00:10:00 Sorry, Mrs. Stevens.
00:10:01 My bad.
00:10:03 Man, she needs to get laid.
00:10:05 A little vitamin D.
00:10:07 Cure that right up, man.
00:10:08 That's gross.
00:10:13 Who the hell's that?
00:10:14 Brooke.
00:10:16 What happened to Shelly?
00:10:17 I just got around to friending her.
00:10:19 Shelly, she talked too much.
00:10:21 Brooke and I, we do not talk so much.
00:10:26 Anyway, listen, we were just talking about the weekend.
00:10:28 Where are you guys?
00:10:29 Yeah, we're just around.
00:10:30 We're just hanging out, right?
00:10:31 Brooke and I, we like to hang out all over the place,
00:10:34 if you know what I--
00:10:35 We get it.
00:10:36 Hey, anyway, check it out.
00:10:37 I got us all sort of for booze.
00:10:38 We're going to be good.
00:10:39 Oh, dude, fucking sweet.
00:10:41 Fuck my dad's amazing.
00:10:42 He's so good.
00:10:43 He just said don't drink and drive, because we--
00:10:45 Don't go now.
00:10:46 I only have math in me cellulose.
00:10:49 Hey.
00:10:50 What?
00:10:51 Talking about the trip.
00:10:52 You want to join?
00:10:54 Oh.
00:10:55 No.
00:10:56 Oh.
00:10:57 I'm late for history, so we're going to meet back at the van
00:10:59 after school.
00:11:00 See you guys.
00:11:01 See you later.
00:11:03 Jamie, you have my stuff.
00:11:05 Fuck out.
00:11:06 Jamie, wait up.
00:11:08 Hey, I'll see you at third period.
00:11:10 OK.
00:11:11 [music playing]
00:11:15 [music playing]
00:11:19 Hey, I'll see you at third period.
00:11:21 OK.
00:11:23 Jamie.
00:11:24 [music playing]
00:11:33 [whispering]
00:11:36 Hi, Jamie.
00:12:00 [screaming]
00:12:02 Bitch.
00:12:03 [music playing]
00:12:10 Stop.
00:12:13 Seriously, this is stupid.
00:12:15 How long did you take these for, and what exactly is this shit?
00:12:18 [laughing]
00:12:19 Jessie, it's not funny.
00:12:21 I think I'm actually going crazy.
00:12:25 Maybe I should start taking them.
00:12:27 Watching too many horror movies never hurt anything.
00:12:30 Besides, what if I don't want you to change anything about you?
00:12:34 Really?
00:12:35 Yeah.
00:12:36 Nothing?
00:12:37 No.
00:12:38 Who do you love?
00:12:39 You.
00:12:40 Who do you love?
00:12:41 You.
00:12:42 I can't hear you.
00:12:43 You.
00:12:44 Great answer.
00:12:45 You're not the fucking boss to me, Curtis.
00:12:47 Oh, damn it.
00:12:48 See, this is the shit.
00:12:49 I don't want to sit there all weekend and watch your friends fuck.
00:12:51 You think I want to watch my friends fuck?
00:12:53 No.
00:12:54 They've got girlfriends, and I got you.
00:12:56 All right?
00:12:57 Mom and Dad are making me bring you.
00:12:59 Mom and Dad?
00:13:00 Dude, you're adopted.
00:13:02 I'm adopted?
00:13:03 Yeah.
00:13:04 You're fucking adopted.
00:13:05 I look like Mom and Dad.
00:13:06 Think about it.
00:13:07 You look like Mom and Dad.
00:13:08 Oh, my God.
00:13:09 What the fuck is wrong with him?
00:13:11 Relax.
00:13:12 He's kind of bangable in the go-to-jail kind of way.
00:13:14 [laughing]
00:13:15 Jessie.
00:13:16 [music playing]
00:13:18 What the fuck?
00:13:20 Must be nice to never look forward to anything.
00:13:24 Come on.
00:13:26 We're going to have fun.
00:13:27 Ooh.
00:13:28 That one's working out.
00:13:29 Ooh.
00:13:30 [laughing]
00:13:31 You should not give me these.
00:13:33 Enough.
00:13:34 [kissing]
00:13:35 [laughing]
00:13:38 Oh, gross.
00:13:39 Hey, bro.
00:13:40 What's up, bro?
00:13:41 Check it.
00:13:42 It's fucking crushed some of my abs.
00:13:43 Bam!
00:13:44 Get in there.
00:13:45 Get in there.
00:13:46 Feel that shit.
00:13:47 You like that shit?
00:13:48 [imitating gunfire]
00:13:49 It's sweet.
00:13:50 You guys want to be along?
00:13:51 You like when other guys touch you?
00:13:52 We've never done that before.
00:13:54 Yeah, fucking first time for everything.
00:13:55 Yeah, first time.
00:13:56 [laughing]
00:13:57 Oh, fuck yeah.
00:13:58 Your bed sucks.
00:13:59 Hey, Jamie, I thought your dad wasn't coming with us.
00:14:02 Whoa.
00:14:05 Hey.
00:14:06 Uh-oh.
00:14:07 I got caught.
00:14:09 Dad, if you want to come with us,
00:14:11 there's more than enough room in the van.
00:14:13 Oh, thanks.
00:14:14 But to be honest, I don't really have
00:14:17 much desire to go back there.
00:14:19 No, I'm glad that you are.
00:14:20 You know, it's time.
00:14:22 The place has been empty for too long now.
00:14:25 I'm graduating this year,
00:14:27 so I think it's time I figure some stuff out.
00:14:31 Yeah.
00:14:33 Hey!
00:14:35 Mr. W!
00:14:37 Hey, so good to see you, man.
00:14:39 Wow, you look fit.
00:14:41 Thank you.
00:14:42 You guys all ready to go?
00:14:44 Yeah, just really looking forward
00:14:45 to going to chill for a few days.
00:14:46 Yeah, and your hat.
00:14:48 Are you sure you don't want to come with us?
00:14:50 Yeah, maybe next time.
00:14:52 Yeah.
00:14:53 Bah!
00:14:55 [sighs]
00:14:57 You take care, okay?
00:14:59 I'm going to be fine.
00:15:01 You don't have to worry.
00:15:02 Okay, okay.
00:15:04 Hey, big boy.
00:15:07 I love you, son.
00:15:09 I love you, too, Dad.
00:15:12 Okay, now go.
00:15:14 Okay.
00:15:15 Aw, isn't that adorable, you guys?
00:15:18 See you later!
00:15:20 Okay, drive safe.
00:15:21 Oh, yeah.
00:15:23 Let's get out of the gate!
00:15:27 [rock music]
00:15:30 ♪ Atomic sensation is my name ♪
00:15:33 ♪ Barely, barely, barely ♪
00:15:35 [all talking at once]
00:15:37 I gotta take a piss.
00:15:39 He's gotta pee.
00:15:40 Fuck it.
00:15:41 I gotta take a piss?
00:15:42 Longer!
00:15:43 One second.
00:15:45 Dude, all your fucking pisses stick to this.
00:15:47 GPS is a little sketchy.
00:15:49 I think it's like about an hour.
00:15:51 Well, we're not gonna stop off at some shithole gas station
00:15:54 where some fucked-up old guy's gonna tell us
00:15:56 we're all gonna die, right?
00:15:57 I wish.
00:15:58 There's no gas station down this road.
00:16:00 Um, is that really a good thing?
00:16:03 I mean, do we have enough gas, or--
00:16:05 Babe, we got tons of gas.
00:16:07 I filled up before we left.
00:16:09 I'm gonna fill you up when we get there.
00:16:11 That's disgusting.
00:16:13 Jamie.
00:16:14 Hmm?
00:16:15 When was the last time you were up there?
00:16:17 Uh, about ten years ago,
00:16:20 when my stepmom disappeared.
00:16:22 That long ago?
00:16:23 What happened?
00:16:24 Well, my stepmom and my dad got into a fight,
00:16:26 and then she just kind of disappeared.
00:16:29 But they looked for her, right?
00:16:30 Oh, yeah, they looked for her.
00:16:33 Just couldn't find her.
00:16:35 Fucked-up shit, bro.
00:16:36 I'm telling you, man, it's alien abduction.
00:16:39 Coming down from the sky out in the countryside here like this.
00:16:42 Actually, I was abducted once.
00:16:44 What?
00:16:45 No one wants to hear your stories about your anal probe.
00:16:48 Wasn't--
00:16:49 Um, some of us want to hear that story.
00:16:51 Oh.
00:16:52 That they used lube.
00:16:53 Fuck you guys.
00:16:55 It happened, okay?
00:16:56 I believe you.
00:16:57 Shut up, Jamie.
00:16:58 Rick, it didn't fucking happen.
00:16:59 It did.
00:17:00 [laughs]
00:17:01 Babe, why didn't your dad just spell the place?
00:17:03 Well, he tried to for a couple years,
00:17:05 but nobody wanted it.
00:17:08 [car door slams]
00:17:09 [suspenseful music]
00:17:12 ♪ ♪
00:17:19 [car approaching]
00:17:22 [engine revving]
00:17:25 ♪ ♪
00:17:32 [engine revving]
00:17:35 ♪ ♪
00:17:38 [indistinct chatter]
00:17:41 ♪ ♪
00:17:43 Is anyone getting reception out here?
00:17:45 No, it's totally awesome, man.
00:17:47 Seriously?
00:17:48 Yes, seriously.
00:17:50 No wonder nobody thought this place.
00:17:52 You didn't think about telling me that fucking earlier?
00:17:54 For fuck's sake, what's your problem?
00:17:56 You're always on that thing.
00:17:57 Yeah, everyone is, okay?
00:17:58 What if something happens out here?
00:17:59 Like what, dude?
00:18:00 Like we're all gonna die?
00:18:01 Nothing happens.
00:18:02 Stop.
00:18:03 What the fuck?
00:18:04 Come here, come here.
00:18:05 Step out, step out.
00:18:06 Step out of here.
00:18:07 Sorry, man.
00:18:08 Come on, step out.
00:18:09 Jamie?
00:18:10 [gasps]
00:18:11 Who are you talking to, babe?
00:18:14 [sighs]
00:18:16 Everyone's waiting to go inside.
00:18:17 Come on.
00:18:18 [sighs]
00:18:19 [footsteps]
00:18:23 [door opens]
00:18:24 [door closes]
00:18:25 Hey, Rick, remember that time I came in here after you just now?
00:18:27 [indistinct chatter]
00:18:28 Oh, sorry.
00:18:29 [clicks tongue]
00:18:30 Huh.
00:18:31 Yes!
00:18:33 This is nice.
00:18:35 [door opens]
00:18:36 [door closes]
00:18:37 You okay?
00:18:39 Yeah, I think so.
00:18:41 Oh, my God.
00:18:43 It's haunted.
00:18:44 Hey, uh, guys?
00:18:46 I wasn't gonna say anything,
00:18:48 but, uh, I need to be really honest with you guys.
00:18:53 My puppet killed my stepmom when I was seven,
00:18:58 right in this cabin.
00:18:59 I don't know how he did it.
00:19:00 I think he has, like, supernatural powers or something.
00:19:04 Well, that totally never fucking happened.
00:19:10 Right?
00:19:11 [laughs]
00:19:12 Fuck me.
00:19:13 Oh, thank God.
00:19:14 I cannot do ghosts.
00:19:15 There was this house I used to live in.
00:19:17 Oh, babe.
00:19:18 And there was this entity--
00:19:19 Babe, babe.
00:19:20 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:19:22 [whispers]
00:19:23 [laughs]
00:19:24 No one cares.
00:19:25 Jamie, you can't say stuff like that.
00:19:26 I know. I was just--
00:19:27 I know. Just--
00:19:28 Just don't.
00:19:30 Something really stinks in here.
00:19:32 Oh, great. There's a dead fucking body.
00:19:35 Or fuckface shit himself.
00:19:37 Why the fuck are you looking in the room for?
00:19:38 'Cause you fucking shit yourself.
00:19:40 You guys, it's probably just a little must.
00:19:43 It'll air out.
00:19:44 Anyway, look, there's three bedrooms upstairs.
00:19:46 Oh, fucking sweet.
00:19:47 Rick gets the couch.
00:19:48 You're fucking serious, man?
00:19:49 Yeah, I'm fucking serious.
00:19:50 This is fucking absurd.
00:19:51 Dude, you're not fucking with rules.
00:19:52 Fuck you.
00:19:53 Fuck me.
00:19:54 Yeah, fuck you.
00:19:55 I'll fuck you.
00:19:56 You--you wanna fuck?
00:19:57 You always do this.
00:19:58 What?
00:19:59 Santa remembers who's naughty or nice.
00:20:01 Oh, shut the fuck up, Jamie.
00:20:02 What the fuck are you talking about, man?
00:20:03 I'll fuck you up.
00:20:04 John, where's the bathroom?
00:20:07 It's just right around the corner.
00:20:09 We just need to go to bed.
00:20:10 We're gonna pee.
00:20:11 You're gonna love it.
00:20:12 It's got a lot of lights.
00:20:14 So listen, I was thinking we go to the car,
00:20:17 we get all the stuff, we come back in, we chill out.
00:20:20 Rick, do you wanna build a fire?
00:20:23 Great. The wood's right around the corner.
00:20:25 Whatever.
00:20:30 He's not gonna do that, is he?
00:20:32 No.
00:20:33 Okay.
00:20:35 I'm gonna do it.
00:20:36 Okay.
00:20:37 [humming]
00:20:39 [door creaking]
00:20:59 Jesus!
00:21:02 Whoa.
00:21:03 Why so jumpy?
00:21:04 I don't know.
00:21:05 There's something about this place.
00:21:07 Relax.
00:21:09 We're here to have fun, remember?
00:21:12 Yay.
00:21:20 Fucking beer!
00:21:22 Yes!
00:21:23 Here, here, here.
00:21:24 Hey.
00:21:25 Oh, hey, hey.
00:21:26 I'm gonna start the fire.
00:21:28 Cool.
00:21:30 Where it is?
00:21:31 What?
00:21:32 Hey, did you lock up?
00:21:33 Yeah.
00:21:34 Sweet.
00:21:35 Hand me the keys.
00:21:36 Why?
00:21:37 Because you never misplace your keys
00:21:38 in a cabin in the woods situation.
00:21:39 Everybody knows that shit.
00:21:40 Not this shit again, seriously.
00:21:42 Yes, this shit again.
00:21:43 Now hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker.
00:21:45 What the fuck?
00:21:47 Okay, everyone, pay attention.
00:21:49 Keys going into my right front pocket.
00:21:52 Cool?
00:21:53 Cool.
00:21:59 Everybody's gonna have a good time right now.
00:22:03 Right?
00:22:04 I'm working away.
00:22:05 Whoa.
00:22:06 What?
00:22:07 Cheers!
00:22:08 Merry Christmas!
00:22:09 Yay!
00:22:10 Yay!
00:22:11 Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:22:12 Merry Christmas.
00:22:13 I fucking hate Christmas.
00:22:15 Who the fuck hates Christmas?
00:22:17 Why would you do that?
00:22:18 I love Christmas.
00:22:19 Right?
00:22:20 It's so sparkly and pretty.
00:22:22 Oh, death.
00:22:24 Okay, shut up.
00:22:26 I beg, beg, beg.
00:22:27 I got a Christmas package for you.
00:22:29 Really?
00:22:30 Does it come with a gift receipt?
00:22:32 I might want a bigger size.
00:22:33 Whoa!
00:22:34 You are totally gonna need that, trust me.
00:22:37 No.
00:22:38 Well, at least I don't have to Christmas shop anymore.
00:22:40 What?
00:22:41 I did it like a month ago.
00:22:42 Good for you.
00:22:43 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, guys.
00:22:45 Check this out.
00:22:47 Are you up for a horror Christmas movie night?
00:22:52 My mom has the best VHS collection of horror films.
00:22:55 It's amazing.
00:22:56 Amazing, yeah, VHS collection, huh?
00:22:59 What, you had it fucking stored off with your Atari?
00:23:02 Yeah, you got a new year Xbox 360.
00:23:05 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:23:07 No, listen, listen, Zombie Santa 1, classic.
00:23:10 Zombie Santa 2, even better.
00:23:12 Now, Zombie Santa 8, it is the revenge of Mrs. Claus.
00:23:18 Oh!
00:23:20 But my favorite, no, no, my favorite, my favorite.
00:23:24 It's revenge.
00:23:26 You guys are gonna get your minds blown.
00:23:28 Me and my mom watch it all the time.
00:23:30 Let's watch it!
00:23:31 It's so good, it fucking sucks!
00:23:33 No, it doesn't suck, you guys.
00:23:35 You guys will see.
00:23:36 We're gonna go down to the cellar, we're gonna find these VHS tapes,
00:23:39 and we are gonna have a movie night!
00:23:43 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:47 What the fuck do you think you're doing?
00:23:49 Do you know what's down there?
00:23:50 A cellar.
00:23:52 Do you know what happens in cellars?
00:23:54 It's kind of creepy.
00:23:56 People fucking die.
00:23:58 It's all right, bro, I'll protect you.
00:24:01 Look, if you're scared, you don't have to go.
00:24:04 I'm not scared.
00:24:07 You're so hot.
00:24:09 Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro.
00:24:12 Boop.
00:24:13 [laughs]
00:24:15 [claps]
00:24:20 Oh, looks like an episode of Hoarders down here.
00:24:23 Hey, look at that.
00:24:27 Wow, I haven't been down here since I was a kid.
00:24:31 Oh.
00:24:35 There's a lot of crap down here.
00:24:37 Oh, no way!
00:24:39 Slaughter Magazine, yeah!
00:24:43 Oh my God, look at all the Christmas decorations!
00:24:45 This is amazing!
00:24:47 Yeah.
00:24:49 My mom really, really liked Christmas.
00:24:52 It came in second to Halloween.
00:24:55 Come here.
00:25:00 [thud]
00:25:01 [gasps]
00:25:03 How did that just fall over on its own?
00:25:05 Simon?
00:25:06 Simon?
00:25:08 Oh, is this your little buddy?
00:25:13 Oh my God, oh my God.
00:25:16 Is this him?
00:25:17 This is the killer of my bed.
00:25:19 Jessie, give him back to me.
00:25:21 Jessie, give him back.
00:25:23 It's not funny.
00:25:24 Can you give him back?
00:25:25 Okay, I--
00:25:28 You're right.
00:25:29 Thank you.
00:25:30 No, you're--
00:25:31 [laughs]
00:25:33 Oh, wow.
00:25:34 Hello, Simon.
00:25:36 My name is Jessie.
00:25:37 I'm Jamie's new girlfriend.
00:25:39 [laughs]
00:25:41 What's that?
00:25:42 You want to say something?
00:25:43 I can't hear you.
00:25:44 You've got to speak up.
00:25:45 What?
00:25:47 [laughs]
00:25:48 He wants to come upstairs and meet everybody.
00:25:50 Jessie, come on.
00:25:51 Hurry up.
00:25:52 Hey, guys.
00:25:53 [laughs]
00:25:54 Get down, you guys too.
00:25:55 Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:25:56 Everybody, please, I would like you to meet
00:25:58 Jamie's little buddy, Simon.
00:26:00 Wait, wait, Jessie, don't.
00:26:01 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:26:03 We bringing weird shit up from the basement now?
00:26:05 He's pretty cute, but pretty ugly too.
00:26:08 Give him back.
00:26:09 Oh, bro, is that guy really yours?
00:26:11 You don't imagine the shit you guys used to do together, huh?
00:26:14 Yo, his ass is pretty fucking stretched out, guys.
00:26:17 Like, loose as fuck.
00:26:19 Come on, you guys.
00:26:20 You guys are being dummies.
00:26:21 It's so tight.
00:26:22 It's tight.
00:26:23 It's really tight.
00:26:24 [laughs]
00:26:25 Hey, guys.
00:26:27 I just want to let you know I like it so hard and so deep.
00:26:30 Jamie, did you sleep with him when you were little?
00:26:34 No, I didn't sleep with him.
00:26:36 Yeah, you did run.
00:26:37 Could you please tell us where you touched the puppet?
00:26:40 Just stop it, okay?
00:26:41 Is that what he said to you?
00:26:44 Bring it back.
00:26:46 Stop it.
00:26:47 [laughs]
00:26:52 You know, I was kind of noticing--
00:26:54 [sighs]
00:26:56 [laughs]
00:26:59 Fuck, I'm high, man.
00:27:00 Oh, fuck.
00:27:01 Call me Simon.
00:27:03 Yeah, sure.
00:27:04 I'm fucking high.
00:27:05 [music playing]
00:27:06 [laughs]
00:27:09 [laughs]
00:27:10 [music playing]
00:27:13 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:14 Simon, give me a bite.
00:27:16 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:18 Yeah, bro.
00:27:19 Okay, you guys, just stop and leave Simon alone.
00:27:24 Jamie.
00:27:25 Hey.
00:27:26 Jamie, look, man.
00:27:27 We're just fucking with you, man.
00:27:28 Jamie, come here.
00:27:30 I know.
00:27:31 You guys were just being really mean to me, and I was--
00:27:34 I don't like it.
00:27:35 Here, take some, man.
00:27:38 Say you're sorry, all right?
00:27:40 Okay, thanks.
00:27:42 You sure, you good?
00:27:44 Yeah.
00:27:45 You want a bro-off?
00:27:46 Bro-off.
00:27:46 What?
00:27:47 You want a bro-off, Jamie?
00:27:48 Bro-off?
00:27:49 Bro-off.
00:27:50 Bro-off.
00:27:51 Say it, yeah.
00:27:51 Bro-off.
00:27:52 (all shouting)
00:27:53 Bro-off, okay.
00:27:55 (chanting)
00:27:57 (chanting)
00:28:00 (chanting)
00:28:02 (chanting)
00:28:04 (chanting)
00:28:06 (chanting)
00:28:09 (chanting)
00:28:11 (chanting)
00:28:13 (dramatic music)
00:28:16 (dramatic music)
00:28:20 (dramatic music)
00:28:22 (dramatic music)
00:28:25 (dramatic music)
00:28:28 (tea pouring)
00:28:35 (groaning)
00:28:41 Hey.
00:28:48 Hey, Jonah.
00:28:54 Hello?
00:28:55 Hello?
00:29:01 Oh, it's you, Simon.
00:29:08 But I'm someone dangerous.
00:29:11 It is someone dangerous, Debbie.
00:29:13 Oh, Simon, come on, that's not very nice.
00:29:17 Curtis, come on, man, I can tell that's you.
00:29:20 No, it's not Jamie.
00:29:22 You're right, it's not Jamie.
00:29:25 (dramatic music)
00:29:33 (screaming)
00:29:46 What?
00:29:47 God, I fucking hate you people so much.
00:29:51 You know what, test me again, Jamie.
00:29:53 Test me again, see what's happening,
00:29:55 'cause I'll break it off in you, man.
00:29:57 I'll break it off in there.
00:29:58 Shh.
00:29:58 (dramatic music)
00:30:11 Jessie.
00:30:16 Jessie?
00:30:20 Hey, you guys?
00:30:22 I think I heard Jessie scream.
00:30:23 Jessie?
00:30:26 You guys?
00:30:30 (dramatic music)
00:30:35 (dramatic music)
00:31:02 Jamie, you just killed your friends.
00:31:05 No.
00:31:07 Why would you do that?
00:31:09 No.
00:31:12 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:31:14 (gasping)
00:31:19 (gasping)
00:31:21 Hey, swoops, let's get out.
00:31:38 No.
00:31:39 I'll make breakfast.
00:31:40 No.
00:31:47 (dramatic music)
00:31:50 (doorbell ringing)
00:32:00 Oh.
00:32:03 (laughing)
00:32:05 Oh, what a night.
00:32:08 You want coffee?
00:32:10 Yeah, coffee.
00:32:11 Good morning to you.
00:32:14 Good morning to you.
00:32:15 No.
00:32:16 Yeah.
00:32:17 Let's make a fire.
00:32:18 Oh, fuck your fire, Jamie.
00:32:19 Fuck.
00:32:20 Just want a coffee.
00:32:21 Coffee.
00:32:23 Brooke, coffee, please.
00:32:25 It's coming.
00:32:26 Oh, shit.
00:32:27 Hey, you guys, where's Rick?
00:32:30 It wasn't down here when you showed up?
00:32:32 Mm-mm.
00:32:33 Man, he's probably pissed about the bed.
00:32:35 (groaning)
00:32:37 You're alive.
00:32:40 Yeah, but at what cost?
00:32:42 It's cold in here.
00:32:45 Gotcha.
00:32:46 Come here, I'll warm you up.
00:32:47 Don't ever touch, ever.
00:32:49 (groaning)
00:32:51 I'm gonna go find Rick.
00:32:56 What's up, man?
00:33:15 I've been looking for you.
00:33:17 We're all inside.
00:33:18 Cool.
00:33:19 You wanna come in, hang out,
00:33:23 make the best of the situation?
00:33:25 Not particularly, no.
00:33:27 That's cool.
00:33:30 Just hang out here, fuck around on your phone the whole time.
00:33:33 Miss out on, what, a chance to form
00:33:35 some solid relationships.
00:33:36 Yeah, sounds pretty good to me.
00:33:38 Yeah.
00:33:38 (sighing)
00:33:44 Look, dude, I'll take the couch tonight.
00:33:48 Okay, you can have the bed.
00:33:51 Maybe that'll make you feel better.
00:33:53 Thanks.
00:33:56 You're welcome.
00:33:58 Your friends are dicks, by the way.
00:33:59 Dude, they're not dicks.
00:34:01 Jamie fucking around with me with that puppet last night?
00:34:02 Yeah, means he likes you.
00:34:04 He likes me?
00:34:05 Yeah, dude, that's what friends do.
00:34:07 They fuck with each other.
00:34:08 You gotta stop being so sensitive, man.
00:34:12 Stop taking shit personally.
00:34:13 (sighing)
00:34:15 Just take the bedroom upstairs, okay?
00:34:24 Nobody's gonna mess with you there.
00:34:26 All right, I'll get my stuff.
00:34:31 Okay.
00:34:32 After you take some time, ease the fuck up,
00:34:37 maybe you come down and we hang out for a bit.
00:34:41 I'll fucking think about it.
00:34:43 You'll think about it?
00:34:43 I'll think about it.
00:34:45 Okay, I'll take that.
00:34:47 I love you.
00:34:50 That's enough.
00:34:58 Oh, thank you.
00:35:00 Really?
00:35:06 Check it out, we are all good
00:35:12 and all I had to do was give him my room.
00:35:14 You gave him the big room?
00:35:16 Bitch move, bro, it's no way to assert dominance.
00:35:19 Oh, but you guys are getting along now.
00:35:21 Yeah, fucking finally, right?
00:35:23 For how long?
00:35:24 Well, go fuck yourself, Jessie.
00:35:26 Hey, good morning.
00:35:27 Maybe he should have just stayed home in the first place.
00:35:30 No, no, no, no, no.
00:35:31 Little brothers are always insufferable shits.
00:35:33 Oh, hey, which one of you guys put Simon in my room?
00:35:36 Curtis?
00:35:38 No, no, I didn't put Simon in your fucking bed.
00:35:41 (Curtis snorts)
00:35:42 Don't look at me, bro.
00:35:44 No?
00:35:47 I did.
00:35:48 We had a threesome, it was awesome.
00:35:51 He's an amazing lover.
00:35:52 Shut up.
00:35:54 Maybe you brought him to bed.
00:35:55 Mm-mm, I remember, I put him outside of the bedroom.
00:35:59 Admit it, you and Simon kinda have a little thing going on.
00:36:03 What, are you jealous?
00:36:04 Maybe.
00:36:05 (both laugh)
00:36:07 You guys totally did it.
00:36:09 Awesome.
00:36:10 And then they added the puppet.
00:36:12 That's what I'm saying, they did it with Simon, the puppet.
00:36:14 Right, that's what I'm saying, too.
00:36:16 Getting all that furry dick up in your mouth,
00:36:18 there it is.
00:36:19 Oh!
00:36:22 Fucking piece of wood piece of shit.
00:36:25 Fucking, you get up there, motherfucker.
00:36:28 Okay, here we go, fuck you.
00:36:32 (Curtis screams)
00:36:35 Woo!
00:36:38 You're so manly.
00:36:39 You like that shit, huh?
00:36:42 You're like a lumbersexual.
00:36:44 What'd you call me?
00:36:50 A lumbersexual?
00:36:51 You know, you wear a plaid shirt, grow a beard,
00:36:54 wear a little wool hat?
00:36:57 Seriously?
00:36:58 Fucking pussies.
00:37:00 Yo, Lee.
00:37:01 Yeah, whoa, nice job.
00:37:05 Right?
00:37:07 You know what you guys should do?
00:37:09 There's trails out there, you should take Brooke for a hike.
00:37:12 Oh, yeah.
00:37:13 Or maybe--
00:37:14 That'd be good.
00:37:16 We should go get a little hot soak
00:37:18 because you're getting really tired.
00:37:21 Fuck that shit, I'm not getting tired.
00:37:23 Babe, 12% body fat.
00:37:26 Okay, I can do this shit all day long.
00:37:27 I can do this shit with one hand.
00:37:28 Well, you can do it with one hand.
00:37:29 Do it with one hand.
00:37:30 Do it with one hand.
00:37:31 Like right now?
00:37:32 Yeah.
00:37:33 Fuck that, I'll do it with one hand.
00:37:35 Whoa!
00:37:36 Okay.
00:37:37 Um, so you're just gonna hang out with your friends,
00:37:39 drink beer all day, and you know what?
00:37:42 Excuse me.
00:37:43 Pendejos.
00:37:46 What the fuck?
00:37:48 What's up, Kendejo?
00:37:50 Dude, what's up?
00:37:57 Nothing.
00:37:59 I just had this bad feeling, but it's nothing.
00:38:04 Are you serious right now?
00:38:06 You know when anybody says they've got
00:38:08 a bad feeling about this, they all fucking die.
00:38:10 That's true.
00:38:13 Yeah.
00:38:15 It's called forced.
00:38:16 (laughing)
00:38:19 Oh my gosh, I had--
00:38:21 Last night was pretty fun.
00:38:23 Yeah.
00:38:24 Yeah, it worked out pretty good.
00:38:26 Isn't there a still--
00:38:27 Oh, here.
00:38:28 Yeah, it should be there.
00:38:30 Yeah, hold on.
00:38:34 Mm.
00:38:35 Oh.
00:38:37 What are you doing?
00:38:45 You know what?
00:38:46 We should totally stick 'em at the top of the tree.
00:38:48 Ah, hell no.
00:38:50 I think we've had enough of Simon for a while.
00:38:52 Lame.
00:38:54 Enough of this Halloween shit.
00:38:59 It's Christmas time.
00:39:00 (dramatic music)
00:39:03 (phone ringing)
00:39:07 Hello?
00:39:13 I'm so sorry to be bothering you,
00:39:15 but a janitor just found that new medication
00:39:18 that they gave your son discarded.
00:39:20 A new medication?
00:39:22 What for?
00:39:24 I've told you that.
00:39:25 My son just has a very vivid imagination.
00:39:28 Wouldn't hurt a fly.
00:39:29 Robert, your son has an unhealthy obsession
00:39:32 with horror movies.
00:39:33 He has difficulty telling them from real life.
00:39:36 And tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of that night
00:39:39 which started all of this.
00:39:42 I don't feel comfortable with him being in that house
00:39:44 this time of year.
00:39:45 Especially unsupervised.
00:39:48 Hello?
00:39:59 (dramatic music)
00:40:01, (phone ringing)
00:40:06, (dramatic music) (phone ringing)
00:40:11 (dramatic music)
00:40:14 Awesome.
00:40:31 Take this off.
00:40:34 Yeah, take off my shirt.
00:40:36 Yeah.
00:40:37 Mine, mine, mine.
00:40:41 Sure.
00:40:42 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40:42 Like this?
00:40:43 Yeah.
00:40:44 Is that sexy?
00:40:45 Yeah, kiss mine.
00:40:46 Is that sexy?
00:40:47 Yeah, my neck.
00:40:48 Yeah, okay.
00:40:49 Okay.
00:40:49 Okay, let's take off our pants.
00:40:53 We don't have to cover our pants.
00:40:54 Yes.
00:40:54 Take off your pants.
00:40:55 Yeah.
00:40:56 Oh, that's good.
00:40:58 That's really good.
00:40:59 (laughing)
00:41:01 That's really good.
00:41:02 Wait, wait.
00:41:03 I'm right here, yeah.
00:41:04 Wait.
00:41:05 Hang on.
00:41:06 Do you have a condom?
00:41:07 Yeah, totally.
00:41:07 Totally, yeah.
00:41:08 Do you have a condom?
00:41:09 What?
00:41:10 I'll get it.
00:41:11 Okay.
00:41:12 Go.
00:41:12 Um.
00:41:13 Go.
00:41:14 Okay, uh, okay.
00:41:15 Oh, okay, fuck.
00:41:16 Fuck!
00:41:20 Fuck!
00:41:25 Okay, come on.
00:41:29 Come on, come on, come on.
00:41:30 Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:41:33 Okay, good, good, good, good.
00:41:35 We're stuck.
00:41:36 Oh, come on, come on.
00:41:40 Yeah, hello.
00:41:41 Where did you come from?
00:41:45 Why?
00:41:49 I need to.
00:41:51 (thudding)
00:41:52 (grunting)
00:41:54 Fuck you.
00:41:57 Fuck.
00:41:58 Fuck you.
00:41:59 (grunting)
00:42:01 (thudding)
00:42:03 (grunting)
00:42:06 Fuck.
00:42:09 (thudding)
00:42:15 (tapping)
00:42:24 Finally.
00:42:33 Finally.
00:42:33 What took you so long?
00:42:37 Did you get what I wanted?
00:42:42 Oh, you're so cold.
00:42:47 But that's okay.
00:42:55 The best part is just to get more warm and more wet.
00:43:01 (panting)
00:43:03 (screaming)
00:43:08 Now keep it down!
00:43:10 I'm a child, for God's sake!
00:43:12 (thudding)
00:43:15 (screaming)
00:43:18 (screaming)
00:43:24 (thudding)
00:43:26 Oh, fuck.
00:43:41 Okay, it's all fine.
00:43:46 No, it isn't.
00:43:47 Yes, it is.
00:43:48 I can't do this.
00:43:50 I'm your sister and I love you,
00:43:52 but this is a dead body in the trunk.
00:43:54 Someone's gonna find out about this.
00:43:55 I promise.
00:43:56 Fuck, what could you have just broken up with him
00:44:00 like normal people do?
00:44:01 (dramatic music)
00:44:04 (door opening)
00:44:23 - Hey.
00:44:24 Hey, Simon, you stupid puppet.
00:44:29 Holy fuck off!
00:44:31 - You ready?
00:44:35 - Hell yeah, I'm ready.
00:44:36 Treehouse!
00:44:37 (laughing)
00:44:39 What the shit is this?
00:44:41 Dude, he must have been way drunk when he wrote this.
00:44:44 We got fucking beers in the kitchen.
00:44:46 - Well, why would they walk and not take the van?
00:44:48 - Oh, honey, you have absolutely no sense of romance.
00:44:50 - No, guys.
00:44:51 I've got the keys in my front pocket.
00:44:53 It's important, you gotta remember that.
00:44:56 Fuck this place.
00:44:57 - What the hell's his problem?
00:45:00 - Rick, Rick, wait.
00:45:04 - The fucking puppet's alive, man.
00:45:06 - What?
00:45:07 - It was on the hot tub.
00:45:08 It looked at me.
00:45:09 - Dude, you've just been smoking too much weed, man.
00:45:12 - Weed doesn't make you hallucinate, Curtis.
00:45:14 - What the fuck's your problem, man?
00:45:16 I'm trying to have a good time here
00:45:17 and you're fucking it up.
00:45:19 - What, you don't fucking believe me?
00:45:21 - Of course I don't believe you.
00:45:23 - Well, fuck you.
00:45:24 Fuck all you guys, you shouldn't have come here.
00:45:25 - You're just gonna leave?
00:45:26 - Yeah, I'm gonna leave.
00:45:27 - Be a little pussy, as always.
00:45:28 - Fuck you, man.
00:45:29 - Fuck me?
00:45:30 - Yeah, fuck you.
00:45:31 - You know what, go off, fuck yourself in the woods.
00:45:33 - Fucking asshole.
00:45:34 - He just needs to walk.
00:45:37 - Shut the fuck up.
00:45:39 (door creaking)
00:45:41 (door creaking)
00:45:46 (dramatic music)
00:45:49 (footsteps thudding)
00:45:52 (Curtis sighing)
00:46:03 (Curtis sighing)
00:46:20 (Curtis grunting)
00:46:22 - Fuck.
00:46:28 - Hi, Rick.
00:46:31 - Shit.
00:46:32 (Curtis grunting)
00:46:36 (dramatic music)
00:46:40 (Curtis grunting)
00:47:09 - Fuck you.
00:47:10 - Rick and Lee have been gone a long time.
00:47:20 Maybe they ran into Rick.
00:47:22 What are you looking for?
00:47:25 - Simon.
00:47:26 - I haven't seen him.
00:47:29 - Maybe he's playing hide and seek.
00:47:31 - I'm sorry, what?
00:47:32 - You know what, I'm gonna go out and find Rick.
00:47:34 - Do you think maybe he just went home?
00:47:36 - I don't know, but my parents are gonna kill me
00:47:38 if anything happens to him.
00:47:39 - That is so true.
00:47:40 - You never go off in the woods alone.
00:47:42 - Jamie, come on, let's go.
00:47:44 - What, now you're just gonna leave me here all alone?
00:47:47 - Yeah, that's okay, we'll be back soon.
00:47:49 - I don't give a care.
00:47:51 - Hey, Jamie, let's go.
00:47:56 - Have fun.
00:47:59 - Rick!
00:48:03 Dude, my bad, bro, all right?
00:48:07 I'm sorry, I was the one that overreacted.
00:48:11 - Hey!
00:48:19 - Hey.
00:48:21 - Oh, hey, you need to shut up about Simon.
00:48:24 You can keep that to yourself.
00:48:25 - Try to act normal.
00:48:27 - Hi. - Hey, how you doing?
00:48:30 - My car broke down.
00:48:31 - Oh, shit, that sucks.
00:48:33 - Where'd your car break down?
00:48:34 - A few miles down the road.
00:48:36 - That's a long walk.
00:48:37 - Yeah.
00:48:39 - Hey, by the way, my name's Curtis.
00:48:40 This is Jamie.
00:48:41 - Hi.
00:48:42 - I'm Tina, and this is Heather, my sister.
00:48:45 - Obviously.
00:48:46 (laughing)
00:48:48 So do you have a phone?
00:48:50 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:52 All of us have phones.
00:48:54 All of us have phones.
00:48:56 It's just, there's shit signal out here,
00:48:57 so it's fucking pointless, right?
00:49:00 - We?
00:49:01 - Yeah, there's a bunch of us staying at my dad's cabin.
00:49:04 It's just up the road.
00:49:05 - Oh, okay.
00:49:06 - Why don't you come back to the cabin?
00:49:10 We got super warm in there, we got some beers.
00:49:12 - Yeah, that sounds good, yeah?
00:49:14 - Yeah? - Yeah.
00:49:15 ♪ Christmas time in the city ♪
00:49:18 - He's funny all the time.
00:49:19 - Right?
00:49:20 - I am being nice.
00:49:22 (knocking)
00:49:29 Jamie?
00:49:30 Lee?
00:49:35 (gunshots)
00:49:38 Curtis?
00:49:40 This isn't funny, you guys.
00:49:48 (gentle music)
00:49:58 (dramatic music)
00:50:01 (gunshot)
00:50:11 (screaming)
00:50:13 - What is the matter with you?
00:50:14 - Simon!
00:50:15 You found him!
00:50:16 You found Simon!
00:50:18 - Hello.
00:50:19 - Oh, hey, yeah, the car broke down.
00:50:21 - Yeah, we're gonna keep him warm.
00:50:24 - Come on in, come on in.
00:50:25 (footsteps)
00:50:27 - Hi.
00:50:30 - So, anything from Lee or Brooke yet?
00:50:37 - No, not that anything would go through, though.
00:50:40 - Oh, fuck, right.
00:50:43 We can't call a tow truck.
00:50:45 I can drive you to town, though.
00:50:46 - You guys can stay here.
00:50:48 - Yeah, the more the merrier, right?
00:50:51 - Oh, well, okay.
00:50:54 - Yeah, okay.
00:50:56 - Yeah, I'm sure Rick is just, he went home.
00:51:01 - Yeah, you sure?
00:51:04 - Yes, I'm sure.
00:51:05 - Well, the bus station's fucking far away, though.
00:51:07 - Well, but it makes sense.
00:51:08 I mean, it's a long way to go,
00:51:09 but don't underestimate a little brother
00:51:10 who's trying to prove a point.
00:51:13 - Why was Simon outside?
00:51:14 - Excuse me?
00:51:17 - Rick said his eyes moved.
00:51:24 And Lee and Brooke have disappeared.
00:51:26 And now Rick has disappeared.
00:51:30 Oh.
00:51:31 I think something really, really bad happened.
00:51:37 - Seriously?
00:51:40 And Simon did what exactly, Jamie?
00:51:44 - Killed him.
00:51:49 - Jamie, buddy.
00:51:54 Hey. - Hey.
00:51:55 - Can I see Simon for a second?
00:51:58 I'm gonna be really nice, I promise.
00:52:01 - Okay. - All right?
00:52:03 Hey.
00:52:06 - Hey, you little muppet show reject.
00:52:09 You're going in the fire.
00:52:10 - No, no, no, no, not in the fire.
00:52:12 - No, no, Jamie.
00:52:14 - Curtis, would you-- - Jamie, stop it.
00:52:16 Brooke and Lee went to the liquor store on Christmas.
00:52:18 They're taking forever because that's how life works.
00:52:21 - The liquor store's miles away, and Rick said--
00:52:23 - Rick said stupid shit all the time.
00:52:25 He was abducted by fucking aliens, Jamie.
00:52:27 Wake up.
00:52:28 - Just give me-- - Hey.
00:52:29 Stop it.
00:52:31 You're being fucking psycho.
00:52:34 I've had enough of this puppet.
00:52:35 Fucking puppet.
00:52:38 - Jess, you believe me, right?
00:52:45 - Nobody does, Jamie.
00:52:49 You have given this puppet way too much power.
00:52:51 Can't you see that?
00:52:53 Simon didn't kill Brooke or Lee or Rick or your stepmom.
00:52:58 - No, my step--
00:53:00 - No, she left because she didn't wanna be here anymore,
00:53:01 Jamie.
00:53:02 I know you went through so much
00:53:06 losing your mom when you were young.
00:53:09 I get it.
00:53:09 And it's okay.
00:53:12 I am here for you.
00:53:15 You can let 'em go.
00:53:16 Who do you love?
00:53:20 - You.
00:53:22 - I love you.
00:53:23 (kissing)
00:53:26 - Let's go.
00:53:30 (dramatic music)
00:53:36 (dramatic music)
00:53:39 (bells ringing)
00:53:42 - Ho, ho, ho.
00:53:57 Merry Christmas.
00:53:58 I'm being a good boy,
00:53:59 so Santa brings me lots of presents.
00:54:02 Now I hope my childhood puppet
00:54:03 doesn't kill me and my friends this weekend.
00:54:06 So if I don't answer, can you please check on me?
00:54:09 Merry Christmas.
00:54:09 (zapping)
00:54:18 - No, no, no, don't.
00:54:19 Don't just throw it on like that.
00:54:21 You have to place each strand like this.
00:54:23 - Oh, totally, fuck yeah.
00:54:25 Okay.
00:54:26 (zapping)
00:54:26 - Don't.
00:54:28 - It looks good like that.
00:54:29 - It looks good to me.
00:54:30 - Right?
00:54:31 - Yeah.
00:54:32 - It's too quiet.
00:54:33 - Pardon?
00:54:35 - Hey, hey, ladies.
00:54:37 What do you do?
00:54:38 - Oh, I'm studying anthropology
00:54:40 and Heather's into physics and shit.
00:54:43 - Fucking sweet, man.
00:54:44 Love girls with big brains.
00:54:48 - Oh.
00:54:48 - Where were you ladies headed?
00:54:53 - What are you, a fucking cop?
00:54:55 - What, were you like burying a body or something?
00:54:59 - That's exactly what we were doing.
00:55:01 (laughing)
00:55:03 - Jamie, they're just joking around, man.
00:55:04 It's all good.
00:55:05 (siren blaring)
00:55:15 - Fuck.
00:55:33 (thudding)
00:55:36 - Okay, which one of you ass fucks
00:55:38 was throwing rocks at the window?
00:55:40 - Excuse me?
00:55:41 - Some pervert was throwing rocks at the bathroom window.
00:55:44 - Oh, 10 bucks says that's Lee.
00:55:46 - No, no, that's fucking Rick.
00:55:48 - No, Curtis, it's not Rick.
00:55:49 - You're always sticking up for him.
00:55:50 - Yeah, because he's a little brother.
00:55:52 - So what if he's my little brother?
00:55:53 He can't get away with that shit anymore.
00:55:54 - Would you just calm down?
00:55:56 - Calm down?
00:55:57 He's fucking my good time.
00:55:59 (dramatic music)
00:56:01 - Fuck that fuck, fuck him.
00:56:04 Rick?
00:56:05 - Curtis?
00:56:06 - Rick!
00:56:07 Fuck, come on, Rick.
00:56:09 - Curtis, Curtis.
00:56:11 Simon's gone.
00:56:14 - What the fuck are you talking about?
00:56:16 We just torched him.
00:56:16 - No, no, no, he's not in there anymore.
00:56:19 - Fuck, Jamie, did you take him out?
00:56:20 You took him out, didn't you?
00:56:21 - No, no, no, I didn't, honest.
00:56:23 - Jamie, really?
00:56:24 We just had a breakthrough.
00:56:25 - I'm not lying.
00:56:27 Honest to God, I'm not lying.
00:56:28 Come on, you guys.
00:56:29 - Fuck you, Jamie.
00:56:30 - God damn it, Rick!
00:56:32 Where the fuck are you going?
00:56:35 Oh, son of a fuck.
00:56:37 - Curtis, what is the deal with this puppet?
00:56:40 - It's probably some kind of epic in-joke
00:56:41 they have going on.
00:56:43 - It's not an epic in-joke we have going on.
00:56:44 He's just fucking crazy.
00:56:45 - Oh, cool, that's what I was hoping for.
00:56:47 - Curtis, Curtis, look, look, look, look, I told you.
00:56:49 See, that's it right there.
00:56:51 I found it underneath the bathroom window.
00:56:53 - Jamie, it's just a fucking rock, buddy.
00:56:56 - I know, but it's Simon's and I...
00:56:59 (heavy breathing)
00:57:01 It's just a rock.
00:57:02 I'm gonna find Simon and I'm gonna prove it to you!
00:57:06 - It's fucking Jamie, you motherfucker!
00:57:10 Oh, man, I don't wanna be doing this wood shit, man!
00:57:14 (dramatic music)
00:57:17 Fuck!
00:57:18 Rick!
00:57:23 Dude, I don't like the woods!
00:57:26 Fuck you, bro!
00:57:27 Rick!
00:57:29 - Curtis-- - Fuck me, fuck!
00:57:37 (laughing)
00:57:39 - It's just me.
00:57:40 - You, yeah.
00:57:41 (laughing)
00:57:42 Yeah, I knew that.
00:57:43 - Really?
00:57:44 Oh, you screamed, though.
00:57:46 - No.
00:57:47 - Okay.
00:57:48 (laughing)
00:57:48 - Ah, so what are you doing out here?
00:57:52 - I wanted to help you with Rick.
00:57:53 - Oh, yeah?
00:57:54 - Yeah.
00:57:55 I wanna help you with Rick.
00:57:56 I mean, Heather pulls this kind of shit all the time.
00:57:59 - Right.
00:58:00 I'm okay, thanks, though.
00:58:02 - No, no, the woods aren't so bad.
00:58:05 You're not all alone.
00:58:06 - Okay.
00:58:08 (laughing)
00:58:12 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:58:23 Do you wanna smoke a joint or something?
00:58:25 Not that I'm a virgin or anything.
00:58:28 (grunting)
00:58:38 What the fuck?
00:58:42 - Uh-oh, you're gonna die a virgin, that's sad.
00:58:49 - But you're a puppet, you're fucking dead!
00:58:51 - What the bitch?
00:58:53 I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes.
00:58:55 - Fuck!
00:58:56 (dramatic music)
00:58:59 (laughing)
00:59:10 Rick.
00:59:22 Rick.
00:59:23 - Rick.
00:59:27 (grunting)
00:59:31 - What's wrong?
00:59:40 Where's Rick?
00:59:40 - I'm in Keltina.
00:59:45 Rick's dead.
00:59:48 - Holy shit.
00:59:51 How much have you been smoking?
00:59:52 (laughing)
00:59:55 What a fucking stupid thing to say.
00:59:57 A puppet killed my twin.
00:59:59 - Yeah, yeah, a fucking puppet killed your twin.
01:00:02 - He's back.
01:00:03 - Yeah, Jamie, he's fucking back, man.
01:00:04 That's what they do, they always come back, all right?
01:00:06 You gotta fucking double tap!
01:00:08 Rick's dead because of you!
01:00:10 - Why are you fucking with him?
01:00:15 - I'm not fucking with him.
01:00:16 - Yes, you are.
01:00:17 - I'm not.
01:00:19 I tried to warn you guys.
01:00:21 I tried to warn all you guys.
01:00:25 - That's it.
01:00:26 I'm out.
01:00:28 - No, you're not out.
01:00:29 He was right on my ass.
01:00:30 - Get the fuck out of my way.
01:00:31 - Back the fuck up!
01:00:32 - That's it, you people are fucking dying!
01:00:34 - Where the fuck are you going?
01:00:35 - Stop it!
01:00:36 - Get back here!
01:00:37 Hey, hey, what the fuck are you doing?
01:00:39 - 'Cause you did something to her.
01:00:40 A rip out for your dick and shove it so far up your ass,
01:00:43 you'll be able to finish yourself.
01:00:44 - God damn, fuck, Jamie, you were right!
01:00:46 - I know!
01:00:47 - Curtis, stop it!
01:00:48 - God damn it, he killed Rick!
01:00:49 - I know!
01:00:50 - Jamie, it's not real!
01:00:51 - Tina!
01:00:52 - Tina's fucking dead!
01:00:53 - Don't say that!
01:00:56 Hello?
01:01:01 Killer puppet.
01:01:04 Are you out there?
01:01:06 Killer puppet, my ass.
01:01:13 (thudding)
01:01:15 (screaming)
01:01:19 - Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, come on, come on!
01:01:21 - We gotta get the fuck out!
01:01:22 - Go, go, go, go, go, we need to go, we need to go!
01:01:25 (grunting)
01:01:27 - What the fuck?
01:01:28 - Welcome to my nightmare, motherfucker!
01:01:31 (laughing)
01:01:34 (screaming)
01:01:36 (grunting)
01:01:41 - No, no, no, no, no!
01:01:42 (screaming)
01:01:45 (laughing)
01:01:48 - Okay.
01:02:02 - Simon?
01:02:08 Please stop this, okay?
01:02:11 - Okay.
01:02:13 I can do this, I can do this.
01:02:15 Oh shit.
01:02:18 - Curtis.
01:02:30 No, Simon!
01:02:36 Heather, get her, man!
01:02:39 - No!
01:02:40 (crying)
01:02:42 - Heather, you gotta open the door!
01:02:50 Jesse, he's gonna kill her!
01:02:52 - How do I know you're not him?
01:02:54 - Because if you open the door, you'll see that it's me!
01:02:56 Heather, come on!
01:02:57 - That's what he would want me to think!
01:02:59 I've seen my fair share of horror movies.
01:03:01 - So you know.
01:03:01 - What the fuck?
01:03:04 (laughing)
01:03:05 - You gotta open the door, right now!
01:03:07 - I can't let you in!
01:03:08 I don't know if you're the right one!
01:03:11 - This is how people get killed in horror movies!
01:03:15 - Oh shit.
01:03:16 - This is funny.
01:03:25 - Rick!
01:03:32 I'm coming in!
01:03:33 (grunting)
01:03:35 I told you it was me!
01:03:40 - I just saw a puppet murder your friends,
01:03:43 so excuse me for exercising a little fucking caution!
01:03:47 (gunshot)
01:03:49 - No.
01:03:52 (laughing)
01:03:58 - Oh, you're so pretty, Jesse.
01:04:01 I'm gonna wear your face.
01:04:03 (laughing)
01:04:05 ♪ First I catch a face ♪
01:04:11 ♪ Then my face, your nose ♪
01:04:14 ♪ Then I pull out your eyeballs ♪
01:04:18 (laughing)
01:04:20 - This can't be happening.
01:04:26 - Yes, it is!
01:04:27 (laughing)
01:04:30 - Aw, don't you remember?
01:04:32 Come on, think hard, teeny bear.
01:04:37 Oh yeah!
01:04:42 (eerie music)
01:04:43 - On this night and in this hour,
01:04:45 I call upon a sacred power.
01:04:47 Bring life to everything in this space.
01:04:50 Bring life to everything in this place.
01:04:53 Each I'll walk and each I'll talk.
01:04:57 (thudding)
01:04:59 - What the teeny bear?
01:05:04 - I didn't put him there, he must have did it himself.
01:05:08 (laughing)
01:05:10 - Stop lying.
01:05:12 - I'm not lying.
01:05:13 - Yes, you are.
01:05:14 (thudding)
01:05:16 - Oh, hey, tiny.
01:05:17 The puppet took down the face!
01:05:21 - We have to get the fuck out of here.
01:05:25 - Hey!
01:05:26 - How do we have to go now?
01:05:30 - Get in the van, let's get the fuck out of here.
01:05:35 What are you waiting for, let's go!
01:05:38 - Where are the keys?
01:05:39 - You can't be fucking kidding me.
01:05:41 - I've got the keys in my front pocket.
01:05:43 It's important, you gotta remember that.
01:05:45 - Curtis.
01:05:46 (screaming)
01:05:52 (coughing)
01:05:54 - Come on, come on, come on.
01:05:59 - I got it, I got it, come on, come on, come on.
01:06:07 - It won't start, come on, come on, come on, come on!
01:06:13 Of course it won't start, it won't start!
01:06:15 - Shh!
01:06:16 - What?
01:06:18 - He's outside.
01:06:22 (gasping)
01:06:24 Roll down the window and check outside.
01:06:31 Outside.
01:06:32 (crickets chirping)
01:06:35 (door creaking)
01:06:37 (door creaking)
01:06:40 (door creaking)
01:06:43 (door creaking)
01:06:45 (gasping)
01:06:47 (gasping)
01:06:50 (gasping)
01:06:52 (gasping)
01:06:54 - Thank you, it's nice.
01:07:13 - Yeah, it's nice.
01:07:16 (gasping)
01:07:18 - Okay, okay.
01:07:37 On my count.
01:07:40 Three, two.
01:07:43 - Wait!
01:07:45 (gasping)
01:07:47 - Always check the backseat, you dumb fart.
01:07:53 (screaming)
01:07:55 - No, no, no, no, no!
01:08:00 (screaming)
01:08:02 (panting)
01:08:04 (screaming)
01:08:09 (dramatic music)
01:08:12 (crashing)
01:08:15 (crashing)
01:08:17 - Sammy!
01:08:22 We're friends forever!
01:08:27 (laughing)
01:08:30 - No, no, no, no!
01:08:35 Why, why, why?
01:08:42 - Stop crying!
01:08:43 - I gotta get, I gotta get back.
01:08:52 (laughing)
01:08:55 (gun firing)
01:09:07 (laughing)
01:09:10 (gasping)
01:09:12 (gun firing)
01:09:30 (screaming)
01:09:32 - Graham.
01:09:33 (gasping)
01:09:37 (gasping)
01:09:39 (gun firing)
01:09:51 (screaming)
01:09:53 - Just leave me alone!
01:09:55 (laughing)
01:09:57 Leave me alone, Simon, please!
01:09:59 Stop it!
01:10:01 Just leave me alone!
01:10:05 (crying)
01:10:07 (dramatic music)
01:10:18 It ends now.
01:10:32 (gun firing)
01:10:35 Come on, Simon.
01:10:41 I'm not scared of you.
01:10:46 (dramatic music)
01:10:52 (screaming)
01:10:54 - Play with me, Jamie!
01:10:57 - My head, no!
01:10:59 My head!
01:11:00 No, no!
01:11:02 - Yes, yes!
01:11:03 - Simon!
01:11:03 No!
01:11:05 (screaming)
01:11:08 (grunting)
01:11:10 Give me back my hand!
01:11:14 (grunting)
01:11:18 (laughing)
01:11:30 - Goodbye, Jamie.
01:11:32 - I don't wanna play anymore.
01:11:37 (dramatic music)
01:11:40 (glass shattering)
01:11:48 (panting)
01:11:51 (dramatic music)
01:11:54 Oh my God.
01:12:05 Oh my God!
01:12:07 (gun firing)
01:12:11 Simon?
01:12:19 What?
01:12:21 No.
01:12:22 What is?
01:12:26 No.
01:12:34 Oh no, no, no.
01:12:40 Simon.
01:12:42 (gun firing)
01:12:46 (grunting)
01:12:51 Oh, it's Jamie.
01:12:52 It's like that movie that's what I know.
01:12:57 Here's Jamie.
01:12:59 - She just kinda disappeared.
01:13:05 Just couldn't find her.
01:13:07 - I'm really sorry you saw that, Jamie.
01:13:18 You wanna watch a movie?
01:13:20 Bloodbath Marathon?
01:13:23 Just like when we were kids.
01:13:27 You were right, Simon.
01:13:31 You are my best friend.
01:13:33 It'll be like I never left.
01:13:39 - Pick me up.
01:13:45 (whimpering)
01:13:47 (dramatic music)
01:13:50, there you go.
01:13:52 there you go. (whimpering)
01:13:57 (dramatic music)
01:13:59 There you go.
01:14:18 (whimpering)
01:14:22 (dramatic music)
01:14:25 Just like old times, huh?
01:14:30 (screaming)
01:14:35 - What are you doing?
01:14:45 - Love you. - No.
01:14:48 (crying)
01:14:50 (dramatic music)
01:14:52 - I'm so sorry, little buddy.
01:15:05 (whimpering)
01:15:20 (screaming)
01:15:22 (dramatic music)
01:15:33 (eerie music)
01:15:36 (dramatic music)
01:15:38 (eerie music)
01:15:41 (dramatic music)
01:15:44 (eerie music)
01:15:46 (dramatic music)
01:15:49 (eerie music)
01:15:51 (dramatic music)
01:15:54 (dramatic music)
01:15:57 (dramatic music)
01:16:00 (dramatic music)
01:16:02 (dramatic music)
01:16:05 - Timmy?
01:16:24 I'm sorry that I killed all your friends.
01:16:30 - Really?
01:16:32 (sighing)
01:16:33 Nope. (laughing)
01:16:36 They were bad influence.
01:16:38 You know who your only friend is.
01:16:42 Come on, Timmy.
01:16:44 Say it.
01:16:45 - Say it.
01:16:48 You.
01:16:54 - Yay! (laughing)
01:16:57 Timmy?
01:17:01 - Simon?
01:17:02 - Can you put me on your hand like we used to
01:17:06 and make my voice?
01:17:07 Please?
01:17:10 We used to have so much fun together.
01:17:16 Remember the tree house?
01:17:18 Hey?
01:17:21 Tickle fights?
01:17:23 Oh, and my favorite,
01:17:28 peek-a-boo.
01:17:31 (laughing)
01:17:33 - I love peek-a-boo.
01:17:36 (laughing)
01:17:37 - You love me too, right?
01:17:39 - Yeah.
01:17:40 - Oh, there's that smile.
01:17:42 (laughing)
01:17:44 Just you and me.
01:17:48 - Yeah.
01:17:49 - Yeah.
01:17:50 (laughing)
01:17:52 (laughing)
01:17:54 (dramatic music)
01:17:57 (laughing)
01:18:01 - Okay, okay.
01:18:02 So,
01:18:05 what do we do now, Simon?
01:18:09 (laughing)
01:18:12 - Well, we already killed all your friends, so,
01:18:17 that's done.
01:18:18 (laughing)
01:18:20 (screaming)
01:18:28 (laughing)
01:18:30 (laughing)
01:18:41 - Merry fucking Christmas.
01:18:56 - Jamie, oh my God, no.
01:18:57 - Is that a puppet?
01:18:59 - Dad, thank God you're here.
01:19:00 - Put your hands up.
01:19:03 - No.
01:19:04 No, no.
01:19:05 It wasn't me.
01:19:06 It was Simon.
01:19:07 - It's okay, son.
01:19:09 - No, Dad, you gotta believe me.
01:19:10 It was Simon.
01:19:11 - Okay, calm down.
01:19:12 Where are the others?
01:19:14 - That's what I'm trying to tell you.
01:19:16 It was Simon.
01:19:17 Simon did it.
01:19:18 Simon, please tell them.
01:19:20 Simon, Simon, tell them.
01:19:23 Say something.
01:19:26 - I killed them all, and it was fun.
01:19:29 - No, no.
01:19:31 Please.
01:19:33 Dad.
01:19:37 Dad, you gotta believe me.
01:19:39 If anybody believes me, Dad, it was you.
01:19:42 Please, Dad.
01:19:43 It was Simon.
01:19:44 Simon did this.
01:19:45 I found him.
01:19:46 And he found me.
01:19:48 That's why I came back.
01:19:49 I want, Dad, please, you gotta believe me, Dad.
01:19:53 - Hey.
01:19:54 Somebody's been watching too many horror movies.
01:20:00 - Dad.
01:20:01 Dad, you gotta believe me.
01:20:06 I didn't do this.
01:20:07 Mr. Officer, I didn't do this.
01:20:10 I would never kill my friends.
01:20:12 I love my friends.
01:20:14 Dad, it was Simon, and he's alive.
01:20:17 And he can walk, and he can talk,
01:20:20 and he's pretty friggin' strong, too.
01:20:22 And he made all these weapons, Dad.
01:20:24 He made 'em all.
01:20:25 He put my favorite horror movies,
01:20:27 and he acted 'em out.
01:20:28 He acted 'em out really friggin' good, too.
01:20:31 He's crazy.
01:20:32 Oh, my God.
01:20:34 - If you're just joining us tonight,
01:20:49 a teenager with a history of mental disorders
01:20:52 has murdered his group of friends
01:20:54 in a tragedy police are saying was spawned
01:20:56 by a crazed mind obsessed with horror movies.
01:20:59 A puppet was found at the scene,
01:21:01 which the killer has claimed
01:21:02 was responsible for the murders.
01:21:04 Remains of his deceased stepmother
01:21:06 were found in the home cellar.
01:21:09 Due to the bizarre nature of the murders,
01:21:11 the police have dubbed him the Puppet Killer.
01:21:15 (dramatic music)
01:21:17 (dramatic music)
01:21:20 (dramatic music)
01:21:23 (dramatic music)
01:21:26 (dramatic music)
01:21:28 (dramatic music)
01:21:31 (dramatic music)
01:21:34 (dramatic music)
01:21:37 ♪ Everybody's got a flip side ♪
01:21:41 ♪ Show me your side, I'll show you mine ♪
01:21:46 ♪ Show me mine ♪
01:21:48 (dramatic music)
01:21:51 ♪ Everybody, everybody's got a flip side ♪
01:22:06 Show me your hands let me show you mine
01:22:09 Mine
01:22:29 This is mine
01:22:35 Everybody everybody at the flip side
01:22:38 Show me yours and I'll show you mine
01:22:43 Yeah
01:22:46 Everybody everybody at the flip side
01:22:50 Show me yours and I'll show you mine
01:22:54 Show you mine, show you mine, show you mine
01:23:19 [BLANK_AUDIO]