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AmusantTranscription
00:00He's the greatest, he's fantastic, wherever there is danger, he'll be there.
00:08Danger Mouse, amazing Danger Mouse, a-stomping Danger Mouse!
00:24London, and flying low over the Wilsden Green underground lighthouse,
00:28Danger Mouse, the world's greatest secret agent, and Penfold,
00:32bronze medal winner in the Penfold look-alike competition,
00:35are returning successfully from yet another world-saving mission.
00:39It is coming up to 12.15 as they near...
00:42I say, what's all that? It's all gone medieval.
00:48Oh, gosh, when I said 12.15, I meant 12.15 p.m., not 12.115 A.D.
00:55I don't know. Might make a change from all this space-age zap-owie secret agent stuff.
01:02Think of a story to go with the ancient scenery, though.
01:05Crumbs, Chief, what's happened?
01:07My guess is that their actor tripper on the computer graphics input gate
01:10has gone astable with the earth-loop emitter strap on the announcer's microphone.
01:14See what I mean?
01:15Well, um...
01:16The announcer's voice is controlling the picture, dictating what we do.
01:20Ah, um, what are we going to do?
01:22I don't know, have a dafter adventure than usual, I suppose.
01:24Crumbs, um, Chief?
01:26Yes, Benfeld?
01:27Um, they didn't have cars in the Middle Ages, did they?
01:31Oh, Benfeld, I was hoping you wouldn't say that until we landed.
01:34Why, Chief?
01:35Well, because, Benfeld.
01:38No!
01:39Yes, right, got it. Here we go.
01:42A tale we tell of days of yore amidst the forest of Sherwood.
01:47Beginners, please, no mature. Act one begins with Robin Hood.
01:52Robin Hood.
01:54Oh, well, Robin Hood, known to his friends as Danger Mouse.
01:57Ah, sheesh.
01:59Meanwhile, a few leagues hence, in a leafy forest glade,
02:02a stout yeoman is leaning on his quarterstaff.
02:04I wonder what happened to the other three quarters.
02:07His name is Very Little John,
02:09known to his friends as Very Little Anything-At-All John.
02:12But in good faith, his name is Verily Little John.
02:15It is not Verily's girl's name.
02:18A merry youth.
02:20He wields a staff as well as any mother's son.
02:24And now, indeed, our story doth begin.
02:27And on a log beside a pleasant stream,
02:29young Penfeld sits him down to rest a while.
02:32Well, my ankle hurteth.
02:34When, lo, upon the river's other side,
02:36bold Robin hath this stout yeoman espied.
02:39Greetings, stout yeoman.
02:41What?
02:43Where?
02:44It's you. It's you, Penfeld.
02:46Oh, sorry.
02:47Have you got the stablehoofer out of the sousaphone yet?
02:51Can we go home yet?
02:53No, no, I'm working on it. I'm working on it, Penfeld.
02:56Look, I have to get on with this bit.
03:00Stand aside, stout yeoman, for I would pass.
03:02Oh, yes, of course.
03:03But yet, stout Penfeld, nobly stood his ground.
03:06Bidding his oak staff speak his mind for him.
03:09Oh, I'm going to like this.
03:11And as these fellows strove a while in cunning fight,
03:14it forged a bond of friendship, twixt the two.
03:17The one admiring of the other's skill,
03:19the one thinking what a twit he was.
03:21But all of a sudden, Robin made his move.
03:24Then did these two in friendship party laugh.
03:27Not going to?
03:28Oh, come on, Penfeld.
03:29Shut! I've got a tiddler down me sock.
03:32Then did those two in friendship party laugh.
03:35Oh, heck!
03:40Meanwhile, in a castle hard by Nottingham,
03:43in dreadful deepest dungeon, damp and dark,
03:47Sir Kay is for a ransom prisoner held
03:52by Baron Greenbeck, sheriff of this town.
03:56Stiletto, you big, big buffoon.
03:59When I said get me a sheriff's outfit,
04:02I didn't mean this.
04:04Look here, you scurvy knave.
04:07Why have you brought me here?
04:09You are the bait in my trap.
04:12Trap?
04:13For Robin Hood.
04:15I'll take this knight and hang him from the battlements.
04:19Soon the witless wonder will try to rescue him.
04:23And then I'll close my trap.
04:26What a good idea.
04:29I shall rule in evil undisturbed.
04:35And get me something more appropriate to wear.
04:39News of the bright knight's plight is quickly spread,
04:41like melting butter on a slice of bread.
04:43While folk wonder what the end will be,
04:45it reaches Robin, neath the greenwood tree.
04:47Duck.
04:48All right, I'll have the duck.
04:49When you get...
04:50Duck, get down.
04:51I know you get down from a duck,
04:53but I'm quite warm enough in...
04:55There's a message on it.
04:56Quick, Penfold.
04:57Huh?
04:58Baron Greenbeck has got Sir Kay.
05:00Come on.
05:01Oh, cramps.
05:02So to the rescue rush our heroes to.
05:05Thickets and thinnets go they judging through.
05:08Under the overgrowth and over under,
05:11leaping o'er streams.
05:13Apart from the odd blunder,
05:15nothing can halt their air-increasing base.
05:18Oh, that...
05:19Penfold moves mighty oaks on with his face.
05:22Oh, very good.
05:29Stiletto, you brainless beak.
05:32Look at me.
05:33I said I wanted to look like Attila the Hun.
05:36Come here, you crack-brained cormorant.
05:41But all's not over yet.
05:43There's worse to come.
05:44Bad news, Walter.
05:45The viewer's pretty numb.
05:47Bad news, if faith for...
05:48Serve him right, Sir Kay.
05:50The rope that binds him have begun to fray.
05:53What's this?
05:54Oh, no.
05:55By George, good grief, I say.
05:57I'm sorry, Knight.
05:58It's simply not your day.
06:00But wait.
06:01When all seems lost,
06:02our heroes bode into the castle race
06:04to save Sir Kay the Old.
06:06But then they find a trap's been laid
06:08by hordes of barons henchmen their way laid.
06:11Ten by ten, the ugly crews are faced.
06:13But twenty by twenty, they're replaced
06:15by flocks of leaping loonies they're attacked
06:17and gnashing nasties climb upon their backs.
06:20Horrible odd fiends with sharp-pointed teeth
06:22snap at their fingers and then their feet.
06:24At last, the barons' gang have had enough
06:26and Penfold shouts his battle cry.
06:29Get off!
06:31Ah!
06:32Oh, good grief!
06:34Come on!
06:35Oh, no!
06:36With Kay descending earthward rooty-toot,
06:38our heroes back through vicious hordes must scoot.
06:41With ten times ten more gruesome foes to face
06:44just as an earthquake shakes the place
06:46and then a nearby volcano erupts with a crash
06:49covering everything in molten lava and tons of ash.
06:52But that couldn't be seen
06:53for the dense cloud of poisonous fog
06:55that had come bubbling up out of the shark-infested bog
06:57causing the rescue party fire engine to crash
06:59into the 10-15 London to Manchester Express.
07:03Then suddenly, a time-slip occurred
07:05and transported them all back to the 20th century
07:07and out of this mess.
07:08A time-slip occurred and transported them all back
07:10to the 20th century and out of this mess.
07:12No, not that!
07:13That's not what I wanted to say.
07:15Who are you? You can't come in here.
07:17So our boffins have taken the narrator off
07:19for a nice long rest
07:20while the chief engineer sorts out this microphone problem.
07:24Oh, that's terrific, Colonel.
07:26Still got a problem, though.
07:28Closing announcement. Got to have one.
07:31Oh, good grief, yes, Colonel.
07:33Oh, can I do it? Can I? Please?
07:35Oh, go on. Go on, let me. Please?
07:37Well, look, Penfold, I...
07:39I don't know how to say this, but...
07:42Yes, you can do it.
07:43Oh, smash it!
07:44Now, in a nice, clear voice, mind.
07:46Right.
07:48Here goes.
07:50So, Danger Boss and Penfold are back.
07:55Having once more over...
07:58Overcome.
07:59Overcome chos...
08:01Carus.
08:03Chaos.
08:04Yes.
08:05Chaos and con...
08:07Con... Confusion.
08:09Confusion.
08:10And cat... Stroke... Carter.
08:13Come on, Penfold. Here, let me.
08:15Catastrophe.
08:17So watch out for the next amazing adventure of...
08:20Penfold and Danger Boss.
08:22Penfold.
08:23Oh, won't you be in it, Chief?
08:24Of course I'll be...
08:25What do you think you're doing?
08:27Well, I am very popular, Chief.
08:29I've got a fan club in Wollaston Green with nearly four members.
08:33And I'm starting another one.
08:34I mean, another one starting in Barnsley, if I can get to Barnsley.
08:38Yes, four members of your fan club.
08:40Two goldfish, a cat and a golf ball.
08:42That is... does not make, in my estimation, a fan club.
08:48He's terrific.
08:49He's magnificent.
08:51He's the greatest secret agent in the world.
08:56He's the fastest, he's the greatest, he's the best.