What's Your Prediction For This Premier-League Season?
Luton to be the Premier League's surprise package? Tottenham facing relegation?? Kazakhstan on an improbable march across Europe?? What's your prediction for football's new season?
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00:00Well, my craziest prediction is that Chelsea are going to win the league, but we're filming
00:11all these back-to-back, so the week will have passed for you, but I'm not going to get any
00:14sort of, like, oh, change of record if I do it here. So my craziest prediction for this
00:19is that Luton don't just stay up, they stay up comfortably with something to spare. I
00:25mean, I'm not going as far as trying, I'm not mad, but I just think everyone's got the
00:30bottom of the league, they're in every predictor, the supercomputers have got them getting, like,
00:33record low points. I honestly think not a single team in the world is going to have
00:38a nice afternoon at Kellingworth Road. They're going to make it so, it's such a horrible
00:42pitch and, like, a horrible stadium to play in. I reckon that's worth about 30 points
00:46to them. What was that? What's that score for? 30 points, I reckon that's worth to them
00:51this season, and I reckon they'll just get a bit of confidence, they'll get a bit of
00:54momentum, they'll bloody the noses of far better football teams. So I just reject out
01:00of hand completely this notion that Luton are some minnows and they should be grateful
01:04they're up here. Nah, they're going to batter teams, they're going to make people look really
01:08stupid. Batter teams? There is a battering in Luton, at least one this season.
01:15Who's your favourite Luton player? Ross Barkley?
01:18You took the words right out of my mouth, Ross Barkley, yeah, it's Ross Barkley.
01:21Well, that's a great point, Ryan, because as you well know, all the teams in the EFL
01:30are rubbish, so it makes no difference to them going to a ground like that, but Premier
01:35League teams are going to turn up and be like, sorry, you want me to get changed in a car
01:38park? It's just not going to work? Luton.
01:41Well, you should, Adam, you should expect fireworks here because my craziest prediction
01:46sits in stark contrast to your first answer last week, who will win the Premier League?
01:51You said Chelsea. I did.
01:52I don't think Richier Pochettino makes Christmas. I don't think he makes Christmas.
01:57He's going to die. Well, not brown bread, just out of work.
02:02I think there's a number of reasons for it. Firstly, the Chelsea fire sale over the summer.
02:07I've lost track of the number of players. I've sold Kante, Koulibaly, Javier, Kovacic,
02:12many to direct rivals, which is absolutely ridiculous. I think the squad from last season
02:17is very patchy. That Mudrick sign-in for a ridiculous amount of money didn't impress
02:21whatsoever. Enzo Fernandez blew hot and cold. I just don't think the squad's any good.
02:27I also think even getting Poch in was a ridiculous decision, one of many ridiculous decisions by this
02:32ownership. Former Tottenham coach, the fans don't like him. The second things start going
02:37wrong, they're going to turn on him and Stamford Bridge is going to be an absolute hellhole for
02:41the man. And I think as soon as the wheels start coming off, it's going to be 10 times worse than
02:46it would if they got any other manager in. Pochettino, brown bread, not dead, but just
02:50sacked by Christmas. And I say, Gus Hiddink will be getting a phone call before the turkeys come
02:59out. Keep 2024 free, Gus, because you're going to be required.
03:06Looting the stay-up. I think, not comfortably, it's going to go to the wire. The last four
03:14Premier League debutants have stayed up, I think. All the promoted teams last season survived
03:23relegation. They've got a player called Carlton Morris up front, which my friend said sounds like
03:28your dad's first ever car. That's funny. And just Kenilworth Road. It's beautiful, a beautiful time
03:38capsule for players to hate going to. They're the new stoke, I think, for at least a season.
03:46But in fact, I'm doing them a disservice there, because they've got a forward-thinking manager,
03:50Rob Edwards, who likes to press and water-tight defence. So they'll do a bit. It'll be tough.
03:56I think it'll go to the wire, but I think they'll be all right.
04:01No, I'm looking forward to them. I'd like to go to Kenilworth Road.
04:05That's what this is. It's a ticket blocker, isn't it?
04:07You've got to go. It's like a pilgrimage. It's like the Stonehenge of English football.
04:12I'm going to go and pay my respects.
04:16But come on, the grandkids are going to go. There's no way you made
04:20Guardiola and Haaland go and play in that stadium, but it's happening and I can't wait to see it.
04:26I predict that Tottenham Hotspur might get relegated.
04:30That's the best one. Stop the team. Let's hear it. Come on.
04:39Harry Kane's gone, so that's like 30 goals last season, and the worst Spurs side ever.
04:46It's just like 30 goals gone, who's going to score the goals for Charlottesville?
04:50He got like one last season. He's awful. And then I'm not convinced of Postacoglou anyway.
04:56I'm not convinced of Postacoglou anyway. He's just Celtic.
05:02Yeah, he's got hair. He's got hair, exactly. He's not bald.
05:10I'm not saying they'll get relegated.
05:12I said they might. I think they'll be in a relegation scrap.
05:15I think Kane was worth 24 points for them last season with his winning goals.
05:20Take them away, they would have had 36, which was level with Everton, so they're pretty poor.
05:26And then their signings this season, Manos Solomon, Dejan Kulisavskiy on a permanent.
05:34Madison.
05:34Madison. Well, he got relegated last season, so what's different there?
05:41They're gone.
05:42I'm going to avoid the Premier League, because it's something different.
05:44Okay, nice, yeah.
05:45So I'm going to go for two things. Kazakhstan qualifying for the Euros.
05:49Because why not?
05:50Sorry, I'll just stop you there.
05:51I'll just stop you there.
05:52That's nice.
05:54Kazakhstan qualifying for the Euros.
05:56Kazakhstan qualifying for the Euros.
05:58Why?
05:59Because they're actually doing quite well. They've got a decent chance, actually.
06:02Okay.
06:02They've just beaten Denmark. Denmark have a decent team.
06:06Can we have some Kazakhstan superstars?
06:10Not right now, I'll come back to that one.
06:14Not right now.
06:16But as soon as I've got those, I'll come right back to you.
06:20Qualifying's already started, isn't it?
06:22Yeah, so they're currently vying for the top two in their group.
06:25Okay.
06:26And also, even if they don't make that, they'll be in the play-offs,
06:31which they might well qualify from. They might play someone like Georgia.
06:34So that's one.
06:36My other prediction is that Sevilla will not win the Europa League.
06:39Wow, that's crazy.
06:42Yeah, I know that seems hard to believe.
06:44But basically, UEFA have had a think about this a few years ago.
06:46They thought, well, this can't keep happening.
06:49So they changed the rules and decided that the Europa League winners
06:53would go into the Champions League directly.
06:55Now, this was the worst possible news for Sevilla,
06:57because they do not want to be in the Champions League.
07:00But they've ended up there again now.
07:02And I predict that this year, they will accidentally finish
07:04in the top two of their Champions League group,
07:05not finish third, as they always do.
07:07They won't make the Europa League qualification?
07:09Yeah, they'll be finished second in their Champions League group,
07:12and they'll be devastated that they have to go into the last 16
07:14in the Champions League, and they'll miss out on the Europa League,
07:17and Liverpool will end up winning it instead.
07:19Wow.
07:19Wow.
07:20That's just, I mean, sorry, that's the best I've heard all day.
07:23That's really good.
07:24So I didn't know what to go with.
07:26I think Bournemouth are going to get into the Europa League.
07:29All right.
07:29I think Margot Robbie is going to wear the away shirt,
07:33the Fulham shirt, the Barbie shirt.
07:35But my craziest prediction,
07:38I think that Harry Kane is not going to win the Bundesliga with Bayern Munich, right?
07:45Now, can I just caveat this,
07:47that Harry Kane is probably the greatest English striker of all time at this point.
07:53Sorry, that's a crazy prediction.
07:54Okay, I'm just going to be nice and say that,
07:58because he's also cursed, right?
08:00Tottenham last won a trophy in 2008.
08:03Shortly after that, he comes into the senior side,
08:06goes to Norwich, but doesn't get promoted with Norwich,
08:09who are like serial promotion hopefuls.
08:13Goes to Leicester, but not when Leicester get promoted or win the league.
08:17Calls them back, got it, yeah.
08:18Yeah.
08:19He's at Tottenham for however many years it was with Pochettino,
08:23didn't even win a league cup.
08:25He had Jose Mourinho, serial trophy winner,
08:28looked like he was going to play in the final under Jose Mourinho.
08:31Mourinho gets sacked the week before,
08:32and it's like Ryan Mason's second game in charge.
08:35He's been the England captain for England's greatest team for years and years,
08:42and England haven't won anything,
08:44while the England youth teams have won the Euros, the World Cup,
08:48just about everything.
08:49I think he's cursed.
08:51Because there's no way that a player that good
08:53has not even won a league cup, a community shield.
08:57So I think...
08:58You think the curse that that witch put on Tottenham
09:01was actually put on Harry Kane?
09:02I think it's put on Harry Kane.
09:03I think if Kane leaves Tottenham,
09:04I think Posta Cogliu sweeps the quadruple.
09:08Like maybe a league cup or whatever.
09:10But yeah, I think it's all on Kane.
09:12I think that Dortmund will win the league,
09:15and Kane...
09:16Yeah, what about Kane Maraschettis?
09:19I mean, they're comfy.
09:21They're comfy, so, you know...
09:22Sketchers are comfy.
09:25I think it's Kane.
09:26I think that Kane is the curse,
09:27and as soon as Kane leaves the England team,
09:30England will win the World Cup.
09:32It's coming home.
09:33It's coming home.
09:34We'll revisit this.
09:35We'll revisit this.
09:36Don't shoot the messenger, I mean.
09:49Don't shoot the messenger.