Love at First Like Full Movie (2023)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [film projector sound]
00:00:12 [film projector sound]
00:00:22 [music]
00:00:44 [phone alarm]
00:00:46 [music]
00:01:06 [music]
00:01:35 [music]
00:01:39 It's 7.31. I almost filed a missing persons report.
00:01:42 I'm not that predictable.
00:01:44 Says the woman whose standing order hasn't changed in three years.
00:01:47 I can be flexible.
00:01:49 Oh, good. Because today I made it with our new light roast espresso.
00:01:53 Let me know what you think.
00:01:55 Great.
00:01:58 [music]
00:02:04 Mmm, mmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:02:07 Look at you, taking risks.
00:02:10 It's...
00:02:12 tangy.
00:02:14 I can have the customer seeing you make that face. I'll remember it.
00:02:17 Thank you.
00:02:18 Okay, those two are closer to us. What do you think?
00:02:21 Okay, I'm going to say they've known each other for two weeks.
00:02:25 Agreed. You know when they split, see, after dozens of dates.
00:02:28 I'm going to guess third date.
00:02:31 Concur.
00:02:34 How about the couple by the door?
00:02:36 Mmm, okay.
00:02:38 I'm spying wedding rings, but they're both in their own world.
00:02:41 I'm going to guess this is deaf part of their morning routine.
00:02:43 They've definitely been married for at least 20 years,
00:02:45 and this is probably their, like, 200th date.
00:02:48 Somebody's glowing up.
00:02:51 Oh, yeah, it's just my dad.
00:02:53 He still hasn't figured out that you can send more than one sentence per text.
00:02:56 He's just wishing me luck on the pitch today.
00:03:00 That's today? Get it.
00:03:02 I'm nervous. I've just been waiting for the perfect time to approach my boss.
00:03:05 I have a very carefully prepared speech.
00:03:07 A surprise to no one.
00:03:09 You know, I think today I'm just going to go for it.
00:03:12 Remember, you are brave.
00:03:15 I'm brave.
00:03:16 You are strong.
00:03:17 I'm strong.
00:03:18 You have the scrupulosity of a brain surgeon
00:03:20 and the blind confidence of a tween pop star.
00:03:23 I have...
00:03:25 Oh, thank you.
00:03:28 Oh, I've got to go. Wish me luck.
00:03:30 Okay.
00:03:32 Get that bag, honey.
00:03:34 I am strong. I am brave.
00:03:51 I am scrupulous pop star surgeon.
00:03:54 Whatever.
00:04:00 Okay.
00:04:01 I've got this.
00:04:03 Reason number one.
00:04:05 It's important. A. Historic.
00:04:07 Important.
00:04:08 Can I have two minutes of your time?
00:04:21 Actually, no.
00:04:22 I am the best person to take on the upcoming first lady profile piece.
00:04:26 In this presentation, I will map out the 19 and a half reasons...
00:04:30 19 and a half.
00:04:31 ...that I am the most experienced and knowledgeable writer
00:04:34 to take on this important, nay, historic interview for Belfair.
00:04:38 Reason number one...
00:04:39 Casey, I actually have another assignment for you to tackle first.
00:04:43 But I really haven't...
00:04:44 And if that goes well, I'll consider you for the first lady piece.
00:04:48 Okay. Okay, sure.
00:04:50 What is it?
00:04:51 Toxicity of hustle culture, double standards of women in the workplace.
00:04:54 Oh, you know, actually, I would love to cover the increasing cultural irrelevance of beauty pageants.
00:04:59 Okay. It's a talk flicks celebrity?
00:05:02 Say more words?
00:05:05 @theromancingryan is a talk flicks celebrity that's known for his dating advice for women.
00:05:11 He has an upcoming book that he'd like to promote,
00:05:13 so we, you, are going to be shadowing him for a week,
00:05:16 writing a profile piece on him and his work.
00:05:18 And all that will lead up to our LA singles night that Belfair is sponsoring next weekend.
00:05:23 And that Ryan has generously offered to emcee.
00:05:27 With all due respect,
00:05:30 I don't think that I'm a good fit for some arrogant talk flicks love doctor.
00:05:36 My wheelhouse is more topics that are actually...
00:05:39 Casey, I'd like you to meet Ryan.
00:05:41 The aforementioned arrogant talk flicks love guru, was it?
00:05:46 Doctor.
00:05:48 Nice to meet you @theromancingryan.
00:05:52 Ryan. You can just call me Ryan.
00:05:55 Well...
00:05:57 This will be fun.
00:06:01 My gosh.
00:06:16 Hey, you okay?
00:06:18 No.
00:06:19 Is that the romancing Ryan?
00:06:21 [Romantic music]
00:06:24 What is he doing here?
00:06:26 I'm profiling him.
00:06:28 Seriously?
00:06:29 Wait, you actually know who he is?
00:06:33 Everybody knows who he is.
00:06:34 He has like 8 million followers on talk flicks.
00:06:36 Besides, what kind of a social media manager would I be if I didn't know that?
00:06:39 Well, then maybe you should be the one interviewing him.
00:06:42 I am a terrible fit for this assignment.
00:06:43 I am not on social media at all.
00:06:45 I hate dating apps.
00:06:47 Hey, don't knock up till you've tried them.
00:06:48 I mean, it's been 6 months since...
00:06:51 Ah, hard pass.
00:06:53 Those apps are too much like grocery shopping.
00:06:56 They reduce people to commodities.
00:06:57 Oh, I wouldn't mind grocery shopping so much if I could pick up a snack like Ryan.
00:07:02 Maisie, could you just...
00:07:03 Sorry.
00:07:04 Okay, all I'm saying is, this assignment might not be the worst thing.
00:07:08 Okay, sometimes it pays to try something new.
00:07:13 And muscle Ian.
00:07:17 Tall, he's so tall.
00:07:19 Okay, the romancing Ryan.
00:07:29 Who are you?
00:07:31 Alright ladies, remember, when you're dating someone, especially if you're really into him,
00:07:37 you make sure that you're in the talking face with at least 5 other guys on the apps at the same time.
00:07:42 He's gonna sense that you have options and he's gonna work even harder to win you over.
00:07:46 Works every time.
00:07:47 Manipulative and commitment phobic.
00:07:50 Also ladies, do not forget, always aim to be interesting, not too interested.
00:07:55 The fastest way to hook a guy.
00:07:57 That doesn't even make sense.
00:07:59 Daisygirl136 commented on my last video, "Ryan, any advice for getting over heartbreak?"
00:08:04 Wow.
00:08:05 Daisygirl, I'm sorry that you've been going through a tough time.
00:08:09 Bouncing back from heartbreak can be brutal.
00:08:14 And my best advice...
00:08:16 is you gotta get back out there and get on the apps as soon as possible, girl.
00:08:22 If you wanna find love again, make sure to like, subscribe and follow for part 2 on this space.
00:08:27 I'll be dropping more tips and tricks all week.
00:08:29 Oh, God.
00:08:30 Unbelievable.
00:08:42 How'd the pitch go? Did you slay?
00:08:45 Oh, yeah. I slayed all right.
00:08:47 If by slay you mean I somehow managed to not get the profile I wanted,
00:08:50 was assigned to a different piece, and then met and insulted my new subject all in one meeting.
00:08:54 Screwing up a meeting that bad is low-key impressive.
00:08:57 Yeah, well, I'm nothing if not an overachiever.
00:08:59 Anyway, I have to go. I have my first interview with the romancing Ryan this morning, so...
00:09:06 Ooh, I love him. Such a snack.
00:09:09 Why do people keep calling him that?
00:09:11 Because he's got a totally snatched body and a face to match?
00:09:13 Snatched? Is that like a... like a talk-flix term I should know?
00:09:18 Aw, you have so much to learn.
00:09:22 Well, whatever it is, I doubt Ryan is gonna be the one to teach it to me.
00:09:26 His dating advice is total garbage.
00:09:29 And that I need to write a credible piece on him, even if he's a total hack, it's just...
00:09:33 You got this. Just...
00:09:35 Don't be distracted by his devil-may-care smile and his artfully tussled hair.
00:09:41 How many of his videos have you watched?
00:09:45 No comment.
00:09:47 By the way, are we still in for tonight?
00:09:49 Because I don't want you to be alone on...
00:09:51 Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
00:09:53 Okay.
00:09:55 Maisie's cooking. Bring the wine?
00:09:57 You know it.
00:09:58 Bye!
00:09:59 Bye!
00:10:03 [door slams]
00:10:04 Hi, I'm Casey Edwards. I'm here for the Belphair interview.
00:10:29 Dope. I'm Chris, Ryan's brother.
00:10:32 Come on in.
00:10:36 He's doing a live feed right now. Can I get you something? Kombucha? Juice?
00:10:50 Welcome. Welcome back to the Romancing Ryan. I appreciate you all for tuning in today.
00:10:54 Last week we touched a little bit on how to reel in that perfect guy.
00:10:57 Like the guy that's out there that's just meant for you.
00:11:00 Today we're going to talk a little bit more about how you can do that through your dating app profile.
00:11:04 When setting up your dating app profile, don't forget to use my KISS method.
00:11:07 That's K-I-S-S.
00:11:10 K, know whom you're trying to attract.
00:11:13 I, interest him with unique facts about yourself.
00:11:15 S, state what you're looking for in a partner.
00:11:18 And S, show your gorgeous self off with beautiful profile pics.
00:11:21 He sure winks a lot.
00:11:24 Oh yeah, his fans eat it up.
00:11:27 I mean his practical advice performs well, but his posts that go viral, they're more thirst-trappy.
00:11:33 Thirst-trappy?
00:11:35 Yeah, you know, like no shirt talks.
00:11:38 But anyway, his upcoming book is going to be a big test.
00:11:44 It's stating advice for men, you know, because his following is mostly women.
00:11:48 Shocking.
00:11:50 Alright, thank you again. Ladies, I appreciate you tuning in every single week.
00:11:54 I will be back next week for the usual AMA. Thank you so much.
00:11:58 I can send you an advanced copy of the book. I'm kind of his assistant/photographer/PR guy.
00:12:04 That's a lot of hyphens.
00:12:11 He'd be lost without me.
00:12:13 I heard that.
00:12:14 But seriously, if he gives you any trouble, just let me know.
00:12:18 Oh, thank you, but I think I can handle Sir Winks a lot.
00:12:21 I can hear you. I'm literally right here.
00:12:24 Alright, Kaylee, what do you want to know?
00:12:47 It's Casey, actually.
00:12:50 And really, it's more about what the readers of Belfair want to know.
00:12:54 Okay, shoot.
00:12:55 Is it alright if I record?
00:12:57 Sure.
00:12:58 Okay, so, Ryan, you have built a massive following online sharing dating advice.
00:13:08 Now, are you speaking from personal experience when you create your content?
00:13:12 How do you mean?
00:13:14 Have you had your own trials and errors in your dating life?
00:13:16 I keep my personal life private.
00:13:18 Well, sure, but would you say that your own experiences, your own dating foibles, if you will, inform your work?
00:13:25 What I mean is I don't discuss my dating life or my personal life. I keep that separate.
00:13:29 And your reason for that being?
00:13:32 Do I need a reason?
00:13:34 No, but I'm sure you have one.
00:13:38 I'm here to discuss my content and my book, not my, what did you call them, my foibles.
00:13:44 Oh my, um.
00:13:45 Just pretend I'm not here. I'm just taking BTS.
00:13:48 Um, you know, let's just, Ryan.
00:13:56 The readers of Belfair, they can log on to social media for free anytime and see your work,
00:14:01 but the reason they're going to read this interview is to get to know you a little more personally.
00:14:06 And my job is to help uncover a little bit what makes you, you.
00:14:13 Is there a question in there?
00:14:15 Okay, you know what? Let's just throw it over.
00:14:20 Um, so what inspired you to go the social media route as a career?
00:14:26 I recognized it as an opportunity to make a living being creative and helping people.
00:14:30 Helping people find love?
00:14:32 I mean, sure.
00:14:34 Sure?
00:14:36 People go on dating apps looking for different things. I mean, sometimes love, yeah, absolutely.
00:14:41 But other times it's, you know, for attention, affirmation, distraction even.
00:14:46 And what do you look for on the apps?
00:14:48 You're like a dog on a bone.
00:14:51 Just for clarification, I'm the dog in this scenario?
00:14:56 That's not how I meant.
00:14:58 Are you in the habit of calling women dogs?
00:15:00 No, don't write that down. No, no, you're taking that out of context.
00:15:04 Chris, get, get out of here.
00:15:05 All I'm saying is you won't leave well enough alone.
00:15:10 It's my job to press for interesting details.
00:15:12 Yeah, and it's my job to create content.
00:15:14 Look, if you want to talk about my work, my content, my methods, I'm game.
00:15:20 I need that promotion to help sell my book, but nobody wants to buy a book from some simp who talks about himself and his personal dating foibles or whatever.
00:15:27 Respectfully, I disagree.
00:15:31 Well, respectfully, if you want to talk about my work, feel free to ask more questions. But if not, it's nice meeting you.
00:15:39 Oh, excuse me, that's not how this works. This is my interview.
00:15:42 Are you always this controlling?
00:15:43 Excuse me?
00:15:45 Okay, you know what? If I seem controlling, it's because my work is important to me.
00:15:50 Because I care. Because integrity is important to me.
00:15:54 Unlike you, who thinks that the more followers and clicks you can squeeze out of every little hack you share online, the better.
00:16:00 Oh yeah, I have you all figured out.
00:16:03 Oh, you do?
00:16:04 Yep. You are so afraid of being seen.
00:16:10 You share videos of yourself online every single day without sharing anything remotely personal because you're terrified of being known.
00:16:17 Chris, dude, read the room.
00:16:21 Yep. Sorry. Got it.
00:16:22 You know, that's Rich coming from you.
00:16:26 And how is that?
00:16:28 You're the one who's afraid.
00:16:29 You're terrified of failing, so you never even take risks.
00:16:33 In fact, I bet that you're single because you refuse to step outside of your teensy little comfort zone and date anybody.
00:16:39 How do you know that I'm not in a happy, committed relationship?
00:16:42 Are you?
00:16:43 That's besides the point.
00:16:47 Exactly the point.
00:16:48 Okay, you know what? Fine. I am single, but I will have you know that I take risks.
00:16:53 Well, I recently ate an expired yogurt.
00:16:57 Okay, you know what? Let me just explain my personal life decisions to you, but I will have you know that I'm thriving being single.
00:17:03 Oh yeah, because nothing says that I'm thriving like eating expired yogurt alone while wearing a sad, sad-looking blazer.
00:17:09 This blazer isn't sad. This blazer is yellow, the color of happiness.
00:17:14 You look like a valet. I feel like I should be handing you my keys and telling you not to scratch my car down the street.
00:17:19 Okay, okay. You know what? I do not need this.
00:17:26 Oh, oh, oh. By the way, good luck promoting your book without an interview and Belfair.
00:17:30 Good luck getting the first lady profile from your boss without doing this piece first.
00:17:34 Bro, what are you doing calling off the interview? Are you insane?
00:17:44 If she writes that you insulted her and called her a control freak, or worse, called her a dog,
00:17:52 that's career suicide, man.
00:17:55 She's not going to do that.
00:17:57 Well, not to mention, Belfair's readership is huge. We need that promotion for your book.
00:18:03 You gotta fix it, man.
00:18:06 I gave my life and I do not want to fuck with you.
00:18:18 Casey, wait. I'm sorry. All right. I can be a little reactive sometimes when pressed for personal details and...
00:18:25 A little.
00:18:26 Look, maybe there's a way that we can make this a mutually beneficial arrangement.
00:18:31 Let me set up your dating app profiles.
00:18:34 What? Absolutely not.
00:18:36 Let me finish. If I set up your dating app profiles, and if they work, which they're going to work,
00:18:43 then you have to say that what I teach is legit in your article. It'll help sell my book.
00:18:48 And why would I do that?
00:18:50 If you agree to give it a shot, I will...
00:18:55 I'll answer any question you ask.
00:18:59 On the record?
00:19:04 Okay. Fine. Yeah. On the record.
00:19:11 Deal?
00:19:13 No.
00:19:16 I'm sorry, Ryan, but I'm not willing to make my dating life your personal guinea pig.
00:19:21 Sorry. I just, I can't stop thinking about how terrible that interview went today.
00:19:34 Like, how bad are we talking? Like, the interview was cut short bad? Or...
00:19:40 Like I called him a coward and he said this blazer makes me look like a valet?
00:19:43 Oh, that's bad.
00:19:45 Yeah.
00:19:46 I have a meeting to talk to you about that blazer, though.
00:19:49 Must be Carter.
00:19:53 Ooh, you okay?
00:19:58 Yes, I just, I cannot stand him.
00:20:01 I'm at your toe, but...
00:20:04 Hi, Carter. You know what I don't understand?
00:20:07 Why he thinks he's some sort of sacred gift to women sharing dating advice like he's some sort of guru.
00:20:13 He's just so insufferable.
00:20:15 Interview him while I take it.
00:20:18 I'm sorry. He just really got under my skin.
00:20:22 Well, he can get under mine.
00:20:23 Maisie! Can you just... for a minute?
00:20:27 Sorry. I'm sorry. I'll be serious. I'll be serious.
00:20:31 So, are we gonna do this?
00:20:34 Do what?
00:20:35 The ceremonial burning of your wedding invitations.
00:20:39 I lost my lighter.
00:20:44 Yeah, honestly, I was thinking about it and the coating on those things is like super flammable anyway.
00:20:51 So it's probably just a really bad idea.
00:20:54 For safety reasons.
00:20:59 Maisie, if you're not ready or...
00:21:02 What? No, I'm fine.
00:21:04 I'm... I'm fine. Seriously, I'm great.
00:21:09 My wedding was supposed to be today, but it doesn't matter. I'm doing so great, honestly.
00:21:13 I am thriving, so...
00:21:15 She's thriving.
00:21:24 So let me get this straight.
00:21:27 All you have to do is let a hot love expert set up a dating profile for you,
00:21:31 so that you can meet other hot men,
00:21:34 and in exchange, he'll answer any questions you have.
00:21:37 Yes.
00:21:40 Does anyone else see the downside of this arrangement?
00:21:44 I agree. It's time for you to get back out there, and this seems like the perfect way to do that.
00:21:48 No, there's nothing perfect about it.
00:21:50 I'm just not ready. Okay?
00:21:53 I had to rebuild my entire life when I broke up with John, and...
00:21:57 Besides, my... my dad just retired, and it's not really going the way that he planned,
00:22:04 and I'm really busy with work.
00:22:06 Okay. I make time for dating, and I work full-time at Belfair.
00:22:11 I just don't want to be pushed back into dating. I want to do it when I'm ready.
00:22:14 Not because it benefits the romancing Ryan.
00:22:17 Fair. But wouldn't it benefit you to prove him wrong?
00:22:23 Meaning?
00:22:25 You say he's a hack, so try his methods and prove he's a hack.
00:22:31 Then, you can write a compelling piece, impress Angela,
00:22:35 and move on knowing the first lady profile is in the bag.
00:22:38 Yes.
00:22:41 Thank you.
00:22:43 I'll think about it.
00:22:46 [phone ringing]
00:22:48 [burp]
00:22:54 Ryan, Casey, the magazine girl. She's agreed to your deal.
00:23:14 And you better be nice to her. Don't be all salty.
00:23:18 I'm never salty. Who says salty anymore?
00:23:22 [car sounds]
00:23:25 [text message alert]
00:23:29 [sigh]
00:23:36 [birds chirping]
00:23:40 [birds chirping]
00:23:42 Good morning, Dad.
00:23:48 Morning, hon.
00:23:50 What's the retirement hobby du jour?
00:23:54 Bird watching.
00:23:56 Seriously?
00:23:58 Oh, oh, look, look, look, right there, right there. Yeah.
00:24:00 You know, I just can't putter around the house by myself all day.
00:24:07 All right, well, I really took you more for a bowling kind of guy.
00:24:10 Yeah, well, one new thing at a time, huh?
00:24:13 Mom would be impressed.
00:24:16 Are you sleeping okay, Dad? Are you eating well?
00:24:20 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.
00:24:22 I just don't think retirement's for me, you know?
00:24:25 Really? Well, are you ready to get out there and look for some...
00:24:30 [clears throat]
00:24:31 Indigenous bird species of Southern California.
00:24:34 Uh, well, apparently the most common species in this area is the Sotofuca palmarum,
00:24:39 otherwise known as the palm warbler.
00:24:41 Dad, you know that's not what I meant.
00:24:43 Hey, I'm not trying to pressure you.
00:24:47 I want you to get out there whenever you're feeling ready.
00:24:51 And know that I support you, no matter what.
00:24:55 Thanks.
00:25:01 Well, I could say the same to you.
00:25:03 I mean, when are you going to get out there and start dating again or going steady or...
00:25:06 [laughs] Going steady?
00:25:08 Well, I don't know what you guys are talking about.
00:25:10 I don't really know either, but I'm pretty sure it's not that.
00:25:12 Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, it's my boss.
00:25:16 No, no, no, take it, take it. I'm going to go in here.
00:25:18 Okay.
00:25:19 Hi, Angela.
00:25:20 Angela?
00:25:23 Oh, yes, um, you know, it's going great. I'm...
00:25:25 Now, remember, we are in a botanical garden, so I ask you, please do not pick the flowers, okay?
00:25:30 [birds chirping]
00:25:32 Also, remember to tread softly, okay?
00:25:36 We're looking for some lesser-known species today.
00:25:39 Commonly in this area, you're going to see finches and morning doves.
00:25:44 But what I'm hoping to spot today are some of the more exotic species, such as the titmouse.
00:25:51 [snorts]
00:25:52 [music]
00:25:55 Which people assume is related to the bush tit.
00:26:00 [laughs]
00:26:01 But they are, in fact, unrelated.
00:26:07 Now, if you're lucky, we'll see my personal favorite, the hairy woodpecker.
00:26:14 [laughs]
00:26:15 Ma'am, ma'am, please, please, out of respect for me and the wildlife, I must ask that you...
00:26:21 Hey!
00:26:22 Please, I just...
00:26:23 Shh, shh, shh.
00:26:25 Look, I just have to...
00:26:26 [whispering]
00:26:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.
00:26:28 Yeah, all right.
00:26:29 Dinner?
00:26:31 Okay.
00:26:32 Sir?
00:26:33 Um, did you happen to even pay for this excursion?
00:26:37 He's with me.
00:26:40 Aren't you?
00:26:42 Ron.
00:26:43 Ron.
00:26:44 Yes.
00:26:45 Ron's with me.
00:26:46 We're good.
00:26:48 [sniffs]
00:26:50 [door opens]
00:26:51 [door closes]
00:26:53 Hey.
00:26:54 So, when's he coming?
00:26:56 He's supposed to be here at three o'clock, but I think this was a really bad idea.
00:27:00 Okay, these two.
00:27:02 Um, okay, they're not wearing rings, but it doesn't mean they haven't been together for a while.
00:27:08 Yeah, they seem super in love, but it looks fresh.
00:27:11 I'm gonna guess, fifth date.
00:27:13 What? No, no, look how comfortable they are.
00:27:16 I think they've been together for six months at least.
00:27:19 Oh, man, here comes Wonder Boy.
00:27:21 I'm not gonna lie to you, he is pretty dreamy in person.
00:27:26 Pretty dreamy? Try nightmare.
00:27:28 Hello, Ryan.
00:27:31 Hey.
00:27:32 Oh, um, this is Carter. He and I, uh--
00:27:36 We go way back. Way back.
00:27:38 I met Casey in college. Better in the dorms, actually.
00:27:41 So if you ever need any, uh...
00:27:43 Way...
00:27:45 What can I get you?
00:27:48 What can I get you?
00:27:50 Uh, whatever she got us. Totally fine.
00:27:53 A medium half-calf, almond milk, no foam, with mocha?
00:27:55 What? No, that's-- Ew, that's so...
00:27:58 That's so different. Um, just surprise me. You seem like a guy with great taste.
00:28:03 I am.
00:28:05 I've been told that I'm a pretty good judge of character, so...
00:28:08 Oh, is that all the debate for us?
00:28:10 How long has this couple been dating?
00:28:15 [door creaks open]
00:28:17 Well, he trimmed his beard this morning. You can see a few tiny hairs there on his collar.
00:28:21 He ordered a no-foam latte, which is always a good move. You don't want to have milk in your mustache.
00:28:25 Now her. She's interesting.
00:28:27 You can see that she's tilting her head in, which indicates both being interested, but also a little bit of hesitation.
00:28:33 She's picking at her cuticles, though, so even though she's pretending to be at ease, you can see her nerves a little bit.
00:28:40 Oh, notice underneath the table? Shoes are touching. Always, always a great sign.
00:28:45 So I'm gonna say...
00:28:48 Fifth date.
00:28:50 That was my guess. What?
00:28:52 That was incredible.
00:28:53 Not to brag, but I am actually a body language expert.
00:28:56 Well, you don't get to call yourself an expert at something just because you aggressively Googled it.
00:29:00 Oh, don't be a sore loser.
00:29:02 Are you two together? No.
00:29:05 I mean, was the order together?
00:29:09 Right. It's on Belphair.
00:29:11 Okay, I will go get us a table.
00:29:14 I see what you did.
00:29:16 Whatever do you mean?
00:29:18 I am watching you.
00:29:20 Bye. Have fun.
00:29:24 Okay, Ryan, let's just dive right in.
00:29:37 Phone.
00:29:38 Excuse me?
00:29:39 I need you to phone a separate dating profile.
00:29:41 Oh, I would actually like to ask a few questions first.
00:29:44 I can multitask.
00:29:46 Fine.
00:29:48 Okay, so, Ryan...
00:29:54 Preferences?
00:29:55 What?
00:29:56 What are your dating preferences?
00:29:58 The first letter of my method is K. Know whom you're trying to attract. So, what are your preferences?
00:30:04 Men, women...
00:30:06 Men? Did you just say whom? Okay, you know what? Never mind.
00:30:09 Okay, so my first question, Ryan...
00:30:11 Age?
00:30:12 No comment.
00:30:14 What age of guy are you trying to date?
00:30:16 You're not even letting me get a question in.
00:30:18 Okay, fine. Go, go.
00:30:19 Okay. How does it feel...
00:30:21 Americana with cold foam for Ryan.
00:30:23 Thank you.
00:30:31 Okay, so, Ryan, how do you feel knowing you've built an entire social media empire that profits on other people's pain and loneliness?
00:30:37 No pain point, no profit.
00:30:39 And what's your pain point?
00:30:40 This interview.
00:30:41 Alright, my turn. What kind of qualities are you looking for in a date?
00:30:47 Is this really necessary?
00:30:48 Like I said, in my KISS method, it states that you need...
00:30:51 Okay, never mind.
00:30:52 Someone committed.
00:30:54 Okay, so, Ryan...
00:30:56 Okay, never mind. Someone committed.
00:31:00 Like in a facility?
00:31:02 Yes, somebody committed in a facility.
00:31:04 No, obviously, I mean somebody who isn't commitment-phobic and who could be open for something long-term.
00:31:11 Your turn. Same question.
00:31:13 What does that have to do with the article?
00:31:16 Well, we made a deal. There's no questions off the table.
00:31:19 Fine. Um...
00:31:21 I don't know.
00:31:23 Somebody who's cool. Stylish. You know, polished.
00:31:26 You sound like you're describing an iPhone.
00:31:28 I like what I like.
00:31:30 Alright, my turn again. Do you have any interesting facts about yourself that I could include on here?
00:31:35 Like, have you ever climbed a 14er? Have you ever been to culinary school?
00:31:38 Uh, no, I'm kind of a homebody. I like my work. I spend a lot of time with my dad.
00:31:44 Um, family is important to me.
00:31:47 I get that.
00:31:49 Really?
00:31:51 Not the part about you being a hermit who stays home all the time.
00:31:54 Hey!
00:31:55 But the family part, yeah. I get that.
00:31:58 So, um, what else is important to you?
00:32:03 Do you find that living a public life online has made a shift in your priorities?
00:32:08 No easy questions from you, huh?
00:32:10 Real questions only.
00:32:12 Um, right now, my career is my priority.
00:32:16 Do you think you'll ever settle down?
00:32:18 Only if the right woman comes along.
00:32:20 Have you ever been in love?
00:32:22 How is that relevant?
00:32:23 The readers of Bell Fair--
00:32:24 Bell Fair, I want to know. Yeah, I know. Um...
00:32:26 No, I... I don't think I have.
00:32:34 Have you?
00:32:36 Once.
00:32:38 Um, it didn't work out, though. Obviously.
00:32:42 I'm sorry.
00:32:44 Thanks.
00:32:48 Oh, here is your phone. I'm done.
00:32:51 Thank you.
00:32:52 Only one more step left in the method.
00:32:54 Cheers.
00:32:56 So, you've got to upload great photos of yourself. Show yourself off a little bit.
00:32:59 Do you have any good photos? Anything cashed away that we could use?
00:33:03 Um...
00:33:05 I recently got my passport renewed.
00:33:07 You're kidding me.
00:33:08 The photos actually, it's like--
00:33:10 That's-- Yeah, that won't work. Um...
00:33:14 Actually, you know what? Come over to my house tomorrow. I think Chris and I can help you out.
00:33:18 Uh, that's actually, um...
00:33:21 kind of nice of you.
00:33:24 I really appreciate the tone of your surprise.
00:33:27 I will also have some more interview questions for you.
00:33:32 Fantastic. Can't wait.
00:33:34 Um, on that note, I actually-- I got to bounce. So I will see you later?
00:33:38 Yep.
00:33:40 Okay.
00:33:42 [♪♪♪]
00:33:44 What you doing?
00:34:09 Oh, sorry. It's okay.
00:34:11 Just, um...
00:34:13 some research.
00:34:15 Are you cyber-stalking him?
00:34:18 What? What?
00:34:20 No, I'm just--
00:34:22 I'm just trying to figure out who the romancing Ryan really is.
00:34:26 I thought maybe his dating history might help eliminate that.
00:34:29 That's a pretty thin excuse for Googling his ex-girlfriends.
00:34:33 I'm a thorough researcher. It's one of my many professional strengths.
00:34:37 Hmm.
00:34:40 He's just...
00:34:42 disorienting.
00:34:44 He can be fiercely private and downright mean, but then...
00:34:48 Tell me he has a hidden romantic side.
00:34:52 No, no, no. Nothing like that. It's just...
00:34:56 For a moment today, he was genuinely nice.
00:35:01 Whoa.
00:35:03 I know. And I thought I knew which direction I wanted to take this piece.
00:35:06 And now it's...
00:35:09 Well, good luck with your research.
00:35:13 [♪♪♪]
00:35:15 [KNOCKING]
00:35:24 Casey! We taking some sweet pics today?
00:35:34 He's hyped. Come on in.
00:35:39 Surprised you actually came.
00:35:42 Oh, hey, guys. Come on in.
00:35:47 We're gonna shoot right here, so make yourself comfortable.
00:35:51 All right. What look are we gonna go with first?
00:35:56 Oh, this is all new to me, so...
00:35:59 Basically, we need three kinds of photos total for your profile to be irresistible.
00:36:03 Okay.
00:36:05 We need a smiling pic. We're going for a, you know, could take you home to mom,
00:36:08 also maybe you bake pies as a hobby.
00:36:10 But I don't bake.
00:36:11 Look, it's fine. It's not about the baking.
00:36:13 Then what is it about?
00:36:14 It's about that girl who bakes. Energy.
00:36:16 What does that even mean?
00:36:18 We're going with a chill pic with a smile.
00:36:20 Great. He could have just said that.
00:36:23 Um, so just...
00:36:24 Yeah, just have a seat.
00:36:26 Let's see what we can do.
00:36:29 Let me touch your head this way just a little bit.
00:36:32 Chin down. One more. Thank you.
00:36:35 It's a good start. I love it.
00:36:38 Yes!
00:36:39 Wait, hang on.
00:36:40 Hold up, hold up.
00:36:41 I want to make sure that guys can see your face clearly in the profile pic.
00:36:51 This is great.
00:37:00 Nice.
00:37:02 Nailed it.
00:37:06 Oh yeah, I'd totes take her home to mom.
00:37:09 Wow.
00:37:12 Okay, what's next?
00:37:16 Right, yeah.
00:37:17 Secondly, we need a photo that gives the impression that you're adventurous and carefree.
00:37:21 Do you have any photos of you maybe riding an elephant in Thailand or something like that?
00:37:25 No. Those elephants spend their entire lives in captivity. It's really cruel.
00:37:28 I actually wrote a very compelling...
00:37:30 Okay, alright. I'm sure you did and I'm sure it's fantastic.
00:37:32 But have you ever skydived? Bungee jumped?
00:37:35 Have you ever met me?
00:37:36 Right, yeah. I forgot that your idea of adventure was eating expired yogurt.
00:37:40 Oh, right. When was the last time that you skydived?
00:37:43 Guys, guys, guys!
00:37:46 I got this, okay?
00:37:48 No.
00:37:51 No.
00:37:53 Yes.
00:37:58 Okay, Casey. The world is your oyster.
00:38:03 This just feels like cheating.
00:38:07 Oh, it's for the peace, Casey. Come on.
00:38:09 Hey, all's fair in love and journalism.
00:38:12 That's not even remotely true.
00:38:15 Alright, Casey. So, you just hiked Machu Picchu. How do you feel?
00:38:21 Good.
00:38:23 Yes! Yeah. Very good.
00:38:27 Yeah, adventurous. Awesome. Love it.
00:38:32 Gorgeous, gorgeous. Yes.
00:38:35 Nailed it.
00:38:37 Good?
00:38:38 Yeah.
00:38:39 Alright. Last pick we should just be able to pull from your camera roll. Super easy.
00:38:42 Oh, I told you. I don't know how to do it.
00:38:44 No, it's super easy. Literally all we need is a pic of you and an ex.
00:38:47 We'll mostly crop him out, leaving just enough so when guys are going through your pics,
00:38:50 they'll know that they're not dealing with a total dating noob.
00:38:53 Just indulge me. Let's just take a look at least, alright?
00:38:57 I don't need a look over my shoulder.
00:39:01 Yes. Right there.
00:39:04 That'll work. Yeah, we just need to crop it.
00:39:06 No. Oh, no. That's...
00:39:07 But that's perfect.
00:39:08 Oh, no. I'm good.
00:39:09 Casey, that's a perfect pic. Why don't you want to use this one?
00:39:11 Look, this is my ex-fiance. Okay?
00:39:14 I called off my wedding and...
00:39:18 It's too soon. I feel weird cropping him out. I would just really rather not, okay?
00:39:24 Okay. Okay. That's fine. We'll skip it.
00:39:29 Thank you.
00:39:31 Here. Tell you what. I'll be a stand-in. How's that?
00:39:37 Chris, hey.
00:39:39 Yeah.
00:39:40 Alright.
00:39:45 Okay, guys. I'm gonna need you to get closer. Act like you like each other.
00:39:50 I'm just not believing it.
00:39:59 Ryan, take your hand and just put it around her waist.
00:40:03 Her waist?
00:40:04 Yes. Come on, bro. She's not gonna bite.
00:40:06 Well...
00:40:07 Yeah.
00:40:08 I'm gonna put my hand under her waist.
00:40:10 You offered it.
00:40:11 Okay, Casey. Put your hand on his chest, please.
00:40:15 Please?
00:40:16 You're the worst, man.
00:40:17 I'm sorry.
00:40:20 Give me a camera for Christmas.
00:40:23 Right here.
00:40:24 Yeah.
00:40:43 Um...
00:40:44 Well, um... Yeah, that should, I mean, get you set up on the app. Make me look good, you know?
00:40:49 Maybe we'll even find you a guy. Who knows?
00:40:51 Remember, you did say that you will include my methods in your article if it works.
00:40:55 Right. Of course. We have a deal.
00:40:57 And this is a trade-off after all, though, so I'm gonna need to see your personal dating profile.
00:41:03 No. What? No. No, no, no. That was not part of the deal.
00:41:07 Well, nothing's off limits. Remember?
00:41:10 Oh, that's good.
00:41:13 Okay. Fine.
00:41:15 Thank you.
00:41:16 I still don't see how this is entirely necessary.
00:41:23 Look, I promise I will only report what's relevant to the article.
00:41:26 Oh, I'm sure.
00:41:27 Huh.
00:41:30 What?
00:41:32 Oh, nothing. It's just... serious.
00:41:35 That's a classic smolder pic. Women love that.
00:41:38 Uh, I disagree.
00:41:40 Shocking.
00:41:42 No, I don't mean it like that. It's just, you have a friendly enough looking face...
00:41:45 when you're not grimacing like I'm torturing you, which is what you're doing right now.
00:41:50 Oh, my God.
00:41:53 Alright, that's...
00:41:54 Hey, we have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Remember?
00:41:57 Doesn't feel very mutually beneficial.
00:41:59 To be fair, I can see the value in a photo like this.
00:42:03 It shows women that you take care of yourself and your...
00:42:08 body. Like, you have the, um, the abdominal...
00:42:11 Are you having a stroke?
00:42:13 Okay, you just... let's just move on.
00:42:15 You're not the only one with baggage.
00:42:19 What is dating life like?
00:42:25 Do you feel like your status as a social media celebrity complicates it?
00:42:29 I mean, I go on loads of dates.
00:42:32 You know, I try not to make a big deal out of all of them, but...
00:42:35 But don't you need pressure to find love since your job is helping people do the same?
00:42:39 No. I'm perfectly happy on my own.
00:42:42 Besides, honestly, I mean, most of the time, the women I end up going on dates with are usually just in it for the...
00:42:48 story about the time that they went out with a talk book star.
00:42:51 That can be pretty lonely.
00:42:53 Sometimes.
00:42:54 Well, do you think that you'd attract less superficial women if your profile was less superficial?
00:43:00 Superficial?
00:43:04 You know what? I know you don't like my methods and you think it's all a crock, but don't come for me personally.
00:43:09 And... oh, Ryan, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean there's...
00:43:11 No, you know what? Let's just... how about you stick with what you're good at, and I'll do the same.
00:43:15 Ryan, I wasn't even trying to be...
00:43:16 Casey, these pics turned out so dope. I uploaded them to the app. You're good to go.
00:43:21 Thank you.
00:43:22 Chris. And Ryan.
00:43:25 Yeah, you're welcome.
00:43:28 This is kind of you.
00:43:33 What's his problem?
00:43:34 Alright. Size 12. Alright!
00:43:44 You know, uh, Dad, when I mentioned bowling, I was kind of making a joke.
00:43:49 This place is charming, isn't it?
00:43:51 By charming, you mean covered in a thin film of grime and...
00:43:55 if it smells faintly of nacho cheese and feet, then sure.
00:43:58 Hey.
00:43:59 How many people do we think have worn this pair of shoes before me? Like, ballpark.
00:44:02 Okay, come on. Gotta get in the spirit, okay? Huh? It's part of the fun. Alright.
00:44:08 What's happening right now?
00:44:10 Uh, yeah, Dad, I'm, uh, I'm glad to see you so peppy, but what's... what's going on?
00:44:15 Too heavy?
00:44:16 I don't think I've ever seen you look so...
00:44:18 Perfecto.
00:44:19 Jolly.
00:44:21 Maisie, call me Ron.
00:44:24 Okay, Ron.
00:44:26 [gasps]
00:44:28 Did you meet someone?
00:44:30 [dog growling]
00:44:31 Dad! That's so exciting! Wait, wait. Oh, what's your name? How did you meet?
00:44:36 Hey, a gentleman never kisses and tells, so...
00:44:39 Yes, Ron! Killing the game!
00:44:42 Wait a second. It's a good thing, right?
00:44:45 Yeah, that's good.
00:44:46 Okay, okay.
00:44:47 Oh, you should let me style you for your next date. A nicely fitted button-up can work wonders.
00:44:52 I don't know about all that, but, uh, we'll see.
00:44:55 We want details!
00:44:56 Ah, ah, ah, enough. It's time to bowl.
00:45:00 Can you believe?
00:45:02 Watch and learn.
00:45:04 Oh!
00:45:08 Oh!
00:45:11 [laughter]
00:45:12 Boom!
00:45:13 [laughter]
00:45:14 So, do you want to talk about today, or...
00:45:17 Can you spot me?
00:45:18 Maisie?
00:45:27 I'm fine.
00:45:28 Well, just don't drop it on the moneymaker, okay?
00:45:31 You're my spotter. Isn't it kind of your job to make sure that doesn't happen?
00:45:34 That's right. Why would I let that happen? Especially when my brother's been being so nice to me.
00:45:39 Is everything okay with Casey? He said you'd be nice.
00:45:49 I've been a perfect gentleman the whole time.
00:45:51 Really? That's why your 0-for-2 was storming out of interviews.
00:45:54 No, that's on her. I mean, you've seen her. She just pushes and pushes for details the whole time.
00:45:58 She's really gotten under your skin, hasn't she?
00:46:01 Why are you smiling? Dude, stop. It's not funny, man.
00:46:04 I don't know. I mean, I guess I've just never seen you...
00:46:07 Just irritated?
00:46:08 Catching feels, bro.
00:46:10 You're the love expert now?
00:46:11 Get out of here.
00:46:13 Catching feels, he said.
00:46:16 It doesn't take a love expert.
00:46:20 If this goes badly, it's because these shoes clash with his outfit. It's throwing off the whole vibe.
00:46:24 Okay, okay. No excuses. Let's go.
00:46:26 Nice one.
00:46:35 No, really. I'm so glad you're getting back out there.
00:46:40 He's not the only one getting back out there.
00:46:42 Oh, yeah?
00:46:44 No. No. That is just some stupid experiment for a piece I'm writing.
00:46:49 I'm working with this social media dating expert, and he's advising me on how to use the dating apps while I interview him.
00:46:57 Yeah, I just wish that my subject wasn't so...
00:47:01 Dreamy? Famous? Handsome in a way that defies all reason?
00:47:04 I was going to say infuriating.
00:47:06 So, does somebody want to tell me about this guy?
00:47:16 Our relationship is strictly professional.
00:47:19 God, this app just keeps pinging me.
00:47:24 It's Ryan's profile.
00:47:27 He changed his picture to a smiling one.
00:47:31 Did you match with him?
00:47:32 No. No, no, no. It just popped up on my profile, and now it's asking me to swipe up.
00:47:36 What are you going to do?
00:47:37 What? Nothing.
00:47:41 Nothing? I... I am going to maintain my journalistic integrity and remain unbiased,
00:47:48 and finish this piece and delete the app and move on with my life.
00:47:54 That is what I'm going to do.
00:47:57 Oh! Oh! Oh!
00:48:09 I'll take three chicken tacos and a side of beans.
00:48:12 Great, thank you.
00:48:13 How's it going? I will take three of the chicken tinga tacos, extra spicy, and a horchata, please.
00:48:19 Got it.
00:48:20 Thank you.
00:48:21 Uh...
00:48:24 Hi.
00:48:25 Are you sure you're up for that? They're supposed to be, like, really spicy.
00:48:28 Well, unlike some people, I can handle the heat.
00:48:30 I see. You think that I can't hang.
00:48:35 Oh, I know you can't hang. Remember, I'm an excellent judge of character.
00:48:39 Hi there. Can I get three of the exact same thing?
00:48:42 Extra spicy.
00:48:46 Okay.
00:48:48 Thank you.
00:48:49 Okay, so where did we leave off?
00:48:59 I believe you called me superficial.
00:49:01 I did not. I was just trying to say that there's more to you than you're putting out there,
00:49:05 and it's kind of a shame that you keep you all to yourself.
00:49:08 Thank you.
00:49:10 Ha! It's working, isn't it? My methods are working.
00:49:16 Okay, don't gloat. I haven't even responded to anyone yet because I don't know what to say.
00:49:22 Well, the key is to be interesting without being too interested, if that makes any sense.
00:49:26 Not even a little bit.
00:49:28 What I mean is, one of them asks you what you're doing at night, you say that you're busy,
00:49:32 if he presses you for further details, you say that you have a date. It just makes you seem more in demand.
00:49:36 But I'm not in demand.
00:49:38 Okay, well, 39 unread messages says otherwise.
00:49:40 It just seems all manipulative. All the hacks and the tips.
00:49:46 No, I don't come up with these tips to teach people to manipulate. It's to empower them.
00:49:51 And how's that?
00:49:54 What I mean is, when you have a step-by-step approach to your life,
00:50:00 when you have a step-by-step plan, you don't flail, right? You feel confident.
00:50:06 That is true.
00:50:10 You realize at some point you're going to actually have to go on a date, right?
00:50:15 You know, you'll be fine. You're smart, you're only kind of annoying, you're nice looking, and you're...
00:50:23 Hot.
00:50:24 I mean, I wasn't going to say that exactly, but...
00:50:26 No, no, the tacos. Wow. They're so spicy.
00:50:31 Okay, yes, thank you. I'm so glad you said that. I'm dying over here, like dying.
00:50:36 I can't feel my face.
00:50:39 Have some of my horchata.
00:50:40 Thank you.
00:50:41 I think that's the only thing that'll save us.
00:50:43 Oh, I guess you're right. I can't hang.
00:50:51 To be fair, I don't feel like I can either. I feel like my mouth just took a trip to the surface of the sun.
00:50:56 Anyway, the idea of just going on a fully-fledged date with a stranger is just...
00:51:08 Overwhelming.
00:51:12 I know just the thing.
00:51:16 Speed dating?
00:51:19 He thinks it would be a great way to ease back into the scene with several short dates rather than one long date.
00:51:26 Let me style you. Please, please, please, please, Casey, please, please, please.
00:51:30 And... start with this.
00:51:35 Choo-choo.
00:51:38 Ooh, interesting. That's not the vibe, you know?
00:51:48 Not the vibe?
00:51:50 It's giving cougar.
00:51:51 Uh-huh. Cougar as rrrr.
00:51:54 Not the cat cougar.
00:51:56 Right.
00:51:57 Okay, I love the color on you, but I think it's too saccharine.
00:52:07 It's giving Glinda the good witch. And no, not in a coquettish Ariana Grande kind of way.
00:52:11 Yeah.
00:52:17 This. This is my Sistine Chapel.
00:52:20 It's giving main character energy. It's giving pretty woman modern day realness. It's perfect.
00:52:27 Thanks, man. Appreciate it.
00:52:36 Whoa.
00:52:44 Hi. You look amazing.
00:52:47 Thank you.
00:52:50 Hello, lovely singles. Welcome to speed dating.
00:52:56 Tonight's event will go like this. You each have two minutes to chat up your date.
00:53:02 But when I ding the bell...
00:53:04 Gentlemen, you move down one seat.
00:53:08 Are you singles? Ready to mingle?
00:53:11 Yeah!
00:53:13 Here we go.
00:53:14 Hey, you got this.
00:53:17 Hi.
00:53:28 Hi.
00:53:29 Lance, I'm so excited to be your date.
00:53:33 Hi.
00:53:36 Lance, do you have any interesting hobbies?
00:53:42 I garden.
00:53:44 That's nice.
00:53:45 Yeah, I grow my own mushrooms in my basement.
00:53:48 Blue oyster mushrooms, pink oyster mushrooms, golden oyster mushrooms.
00:53:54 Pretty much just like lots of oyster mushrooms.
00:53:58 Cool.
00:54:02 Hey.
00:54:03 Can I cut to the chase here?
00:54:05 I'm looking for a wife. How do you feel about that?
00:54:10 Do you have a $20 bill?
00:54:17 It's for a magic trick. It's going to blow your mind.
00:54:20 Hi. So, Hunter, what do you do for a living?
00:54:26 I work in finance.
00:54:27 Oh, that's great.
00:54:29 Yeah, I had to get a job to get my old man off my back.
00:54:32 I'm just biding my time until he croaks.
00:54:34 Hey, do you know how to swim?
00:54:37 Um, yes.
00:54:40 I'm set to inherit his 30-foot yacht. It's sick.
00:54:43 His cholesterol is pretty high, so I'll have the boat in like three years max.
00:54:47 Congratulations.
00:54:51 So, how's it going?
00:54:57 Oh, fine. I mean, yeah, it's okay.
00:55:02 I'm sure you're doing great.
00:55:03 Well, you look like you're just having a grand time.
00:55:06 What's that supposed to mean?
00:55:09 Nothing.
00:55:11 Just keep the conversation light and you'll be fine.
00:55:14 Yeah, you should tell that to Trusfan Nigi over here who asked if I knew how to swim so he could take me on his soon-to-be-deceased father's yacht.
00:55:20 What?
00:55:22 Yes.
00:55:23 Are you kidding? What is wrong with people?
00:55:25 I mean, yeah, gosh, it feels so good to talk to somebody fairly normal.
00:55:30 Well, I'm glad I qualify as normal.
00:55:32 Okay, everyone. Now that's it for tonight.
00:55:37 Make sure you stay and mingle with anyone you found interesting tonight.
00:55:43 Oh, no.
00:55:47 What?
00:55:48 Trusfan, boat guy, 10 o'clock.
00:55:50 Oh, yeah, that's not good. You get out of here, actually.
00:55:53 Okay, okay.
00:55:55 Hey, Bridget.
00:56:03 Um, shouldn't we wait to be seated?
00:56:10 Uh, they know me here.
00:56:12 Oh, you make big servings.
00:56:16 Depends on what's being served.
00:56:18 Thank you.
00:56:22 The usual?
00:56:23 Uh...
00:56:24 Or have you forgotten what we serve here? It's been a while since you've been in.
00:56:29 The usual's fine.
00:56:32 I'll bring extra. You're looking skinny.
00:56:35 I do not.
00:56:36 Yes, you do. You think you know everything about everything, don't you?
00:56:40 Mr. King of the socials media has it all figured out.
00:56:43 Casey, this is my mom, Des. Mom, this is Casey.
00:56:48 Oh, hi.
00:56:50 Hello, dear.
00:56:52 Oh, my, aren't you pretty?
00:56:54 Do you know what you'd like, or do you need a minute?
00:56:56 Um, I guess I'll just have whatever he's having.
00:57:01 Alan! Two usuals!
00:57:04 Ryan?
00:57:07 Oh.
00:57:08 Hi, Dad.
00:57:10 You look skinny, son. I'll make extra.
00:57:13 Nice to see you too, Dad.
00:57:17 (sigh)
00:57:19 I'm no body language expert, but I think they might be a little upset with you.
00:57:25 We had a little bit of a falling out recently.
00:57:28 I'm sorry.
00:57:32 Thank you.
00:57:34 Here you are, my dear.
00:57:40 Oh, dude.
00:57:42 Thank you.
00:57:45 I guess we each get one.
00:57:47 I think they're both meant for you, actually, but I hope you like bread.
00:57:50 I'm not kidding. And then this one guy asked for a $20 bill and proceeded to create an origami flower.
00:57:58 Oh, that's...
00:57:59 And then, that's not the worst part, then he wanted to bring it home so that he could paint it.
00:58:04 No way.
00:58:05 With his mother's nail polish.
00:58:07 I'm sorry speed dating was a total bust. That was...
00:58:09 No, it's okay. I have to thank you for rescuing me from the psycho boat guy.
00:58:14 Oh, of course, Kay.
00:58:16 Sorry, is it weird if I call you Kay?
00:58:22 No, oh, no, no, it's fine. It's just how my mom used to call me.
00:58:28 Oh, she...
00:58:30 Yeah, yeah, she passed a couple years ago.
00:58:34 I'm sorry.
00:58:36 Thank you.
00:58:38 Yeah, she was really special.
00:58:44 She used to...
00:58:45 She used to try to get my dad and I to go on these crazy adventures with her.
00:58:50 Like whale watching and ice climbing.
00:58:54 You?
00:58:55 She was really brave.
00:58:57 Sounds amazing.
00:59:00 You know, I bet she would have been pretty proud of you for putting yourself out there this week.
00:59:05 I hope so.
00:59:11 This dress was a big one for me, so...
00:59:14 Yeah, that was a huge jump for you.
00:59:16 Yeah.
00:59:17 It's a beautiful dress though. It really is.
00:59:19 I hope that you can make good with your parents.
00:59:23 Yeah, it's just so complicated.
00:59:26 They always tell me that they want me to quit my silly social medias.
00:59:30 And they tell me that, you know, my place is here at the restaurant.
00:59:33 They want me to run it with them, but I don't know how to get it across to them.
00:59:37 I already have a very successful business that I'm running, but they don't even want to come to my house to check it out or see for themselves.
00:59:43 They just...
00:59:44 They're always just so stubborn. All the time.
00:59:49 It might be a family trait.
00:59:52 You don't say.
00:59:53 I knew you wanted to say something. I could tell.
00:59:55 No, still though. I...
00:59:58 I hope you work things out with them.
01:00:01 You only get one set of parents.
01:00:06 You only get one set of parents, you know.
01:00:08 Thanks for humoring me with the whole speed dating thing. I hope dinner redeemed it a little bit.
01:00:20 It did. I'll give you that.
01:00:22 I'm sure you bring all kinds of women to your parents' restaurant to impress them.
01:00:27 Actually, just you.
01:00:34 God, this thing is so annoying. This app just keeps dinging.
01:00:38 I'm sorry. You can get rid of it as soon as you're done with the article, I promise.
01:00:41 I know that guy.
01:00:43 Yeah. It keeps trying to remind me to swipe.
01:00:46 Nah, it's okay. He looks like a total poser anyway.
01:00:49 Yeah, he kind of is.
01:00:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably wouldn't swipe up on that guy.
01:00:53 We're matched.
01:01:04 Well, thank you for tonight.
01:01:06 Kay, let me take you to dinner tomorrow night.
01:01:10 Like... like a real date?
01:01:15 Yeah, like a real date.
01:01:18 Okay.
01:01:20 Okay.
01:01:22 Tomorrow.
01:01:25 Pick you up at seven.
01:01:28 Pick you up at seven.
01:01:29 Alright then.
01:01:34 Good night.
01:01:36 [♪♪♪]
01:01:38 [♪♪♪]
01:02:07 Oh, the right way to rule.
01:02:09 My three-step method.
01:02:12 Step one, hook.
01:02:14 Peak her interest by not revealing much personal information early on.
01:02:18 Hey. Hey, let's reschedule that livestream we have planned for tomorrow.
01:02:28 I, um, yeah, I actually have a date.
01:02:30 Step two, line.
01:02:33 Tell her you're ready to settle down.
01:02:37 If you meet the right woman.
01:02:39 Step three, sink her.
01:02:45 Call her by a nickname.
01:02:49 To foster trust and familiarity.
01:02:53 Oh my gosh.
01:02:56 Oh my...
01:02:59 Wait, you sent what to her house?
01:03:02 When?
01:03:06 [♪♪♪]
01:03:08 Kay, let me in.
01:03:12 You...
01:03:16 Kay, Kay, are you kidding me?
01:03:19 You are unbelievable, Ryan.
01:03:21 Just go home, okay?
01:03:22 Casey, Casey, please, just let me explain.
01:03:24 Hook, line, and sink her?
01:03:26 You told me that your methods weren't manipulative.
01:03:28 They're not. They're not.
01:03:29 I promise, I know how it looks, but please, you have to let me explain.
01:03:32 Casey.
01:03:34 This whole time?
01:03:35 This whole time, I was just some sort of case study for your book?
01:03:41 No, no, Casey.
01:03:42 You wouldn't share personal information early on?
01:03:44 I know, I know, but...
01:03:45 You told me that you would only settle down...
01:03:48 If I found the right woman, yes, I know, but...
01:03:50 And the nickname.
01:03:51 That was real. It was real.
01:03:54 It is right there in your book, Ryan. It is literally right there.
01:03:58 It is. It is, and I know what it says in the book. I know, but...
01:04:01 But what?
01:04:02 But what?
01:04:03 Huh?
01:04:04 I only used those moves because I was falling for you.
01:04:09 And I... Casey, I only did that because it was tried and true, and I fell back on what I already knew.
01:04:17 But I never meant to manipulate you. I was never trying to manipulate you.
01:04:22 I was crazy about you.
01:04:24 I am crazy about you.
01:04:27 So, yes.
01:04:31 You know, I hoped you felt the same way, so I leaned on what was familiar, you know, formulas and hacks, but...
01:04:37 I would never try to manipulate anybody, especially not you.
01:04:40 I was just starting to put myself back out there.
01:04:43 I was just learning to trust again.
01:04:47 And you used me.
01:04:49 Used you? Hey, you used me.
01:04:51 Excuse me?
01:04:52 You only took those risks because it was good for your career and for the article.
01:04:55 Don't act like you were being brave. That was a means to an end for you.
01:04:58 I just want you to leave.
01:05:01 Now.
01:05:04 [Music]
01:05:06 [Door opens]
01:05:08 [Music]
01:05:25 [Alarm clock]
01:05:35 [Music]
01:05:54 [Gun cocks]
01:05:59 [Music]
01:06:18 Oh, honey. What happened?
01:06:21 Well, let's just say that Ryan was exactly the type of person I thought he was.
01:06:25 Ugh, men. How dare he break your heart in that perfect dress.
01:06:30 Anyway, now...
01:06:33 Thank you.
01:06:36 Now I need to go write this puff piece and promote his bogus book, and I really don't know how I'm going to do it.
01:06:42 Well, you know what they say. The keyboard is mightier than the sword.
01:06:45 I don't think they do say that, but...
01:06:48 Tell me more.
01:06:50 I think that you should go home and write the piece you want to write.
01:06:55 Tell the truth. All of it.
01:06:57 [Music]
01:07:01 [City sounds]
01:07:03 [Typing]
01:07:15 [Music]
01:07:22 And then I read his method is hook, line, and sink her.
01:07:25 Unbelievable.
01:07:27 I know. And then he tells me he's crazy about me.
01:07:29 Like it somehow fixes the fact that he was playing me this entire time.
01:07:33 You know, I can always call my Uncle Billy and have him talk some sense into Ryan.
01:07:39 What? I appreciate the moral support, but I do not...
01:07:43 I'm just saying, I can have the situation taken care of. Wink.
01:07:48 Really, I'm good.
01:07:50 Okay.
01:07:52 Just to be clear, under no circumstance do I want a hit taken out on Ryan.
01:07:57 Of course.
01:07:59 [Music]
01:08:03 Oh, no.
01:08:05 What?
01:08:07 [Music]
01:08:09 [Gasp]
01:08:11 She used all caps.
01:08:15 Gird your loins.
01:08:18 Shoot.
01:08:20 [Music]
01:08:24 What's this?
01:08:26 My piece.
01:08:28 We can't publish this.
01:08:30 We agreed to write a nice piece on Ryan.
01:08:32 This paints Matt to be some sort of womanizing villain.
01:08:37 Well, my job is to write the truth, and that's what I did.
01:08:40 No, honey.
01:08:42 Your job is to remain unbiased, which clearly you didn't.
01:08:46 Just because you were unprofessional and you got your heart broken.
01:08:49 Get my heart.
01:08:50 Let me finish.
01:08:52 That does not mean that you get to air your personal grievances all over the pages of Belfair.
01:08:58 This is a fireable offense, Casey.
01:09:01 You were right.
01:09:03 I am so sorry.
01:09:05 Well, you can forget about being considered for the First Lady profile.
01:09:11 Of course.
01:09:13 I understand.
01:09:14 I'm sorry, really.
01:09:15 Let me make good.
01:09:16 I will do a rewrite ASAP.
01:09:20 You'd better.
01:09:22 And I also expect glowing coverage of him hosting the LA Singles Night in your revised piece.
01:09:28 I have to go to that?
01:09:31 If you value your job.
01:09:34 Of course.
01:09:35 Right.
01:09:36 I will fix it.
01:09:39 Thank you.
01:09:45 Thank you guys for joining my live AMA.
01:09:47 I think I have time for one more question before I go.
01:09:51 Okay, Anita Leigh '86 says, "Hey, Ryan. Big fan."
01:09:56 Thanks, Anita.
01:09:58 "I want to know how you know when you found the one."
01:10:06 Well, Anita Leigh, I think that's going to look different for everybody.
01:10:10 It's hard to find a one-size-fits-all answer.
01:10:12 But I will say this.
01:10:15 I think the one is somebody that you can be entirely yourself around.
01:10:20 Somebody that really sees you, knows you, the good and the bad parts of you.
01:10:30 But they accept you and love you for who you are.
01:10:35 Who you really are.
01:10:38 Anyway, thank you guys so much for joining.
01:10:41 I will be back again the same time next week for my live on Friday.
01:10:56 Bye.
01:11:03 [Music]
01:11:17 [Sighs]
01:11:18 [Music]
01:11:47 [Music]
01:12:15 [Music]
01:12:43 Hi. Hi.
01:12:45 Hey.
01:12:46 Sorry.
01:12:47 Slow down.
01:12:48 Are you okay?
01:12:49 Yeah, no, no, no. I'm fine.
01:12:50 I was just, I was up late finishing a deadline and...
01:12:54 It's just, well, you're late.
01:12:57 You're never late.
01:12:58 Oh, yeah, it's been a long week.
01:12:59 Nice hat.
01:13:00 Thanks.
01:13:01 Look, today's maybe not a good day to do this.
01:13:04 For what? For waffling?
01:13:05 Today is a great day.
01:13:06 Yeah.
01:13:07 Yeah, just call me Ball Lady.
01:13:10 Helen.
01:13:11 You must be Casey.
01:13:12 Hi.
01:13:13 Oh, so good to meet you.
01:13:18 Oh, dear, you have a little bit of...
01:13:20 What?
01:13:21 Something.
01:13:22 Is it...
01:13:23 Yeah, occupational hazard.
01:13:25 When you're a writer.
01:13:26 How did you know?
01:13:27 Ronnie is so proud of his amazing journalist daughter.
01:13:31 He talks about you all the time.
01:13:34 Well, I'm going to get started.
01:13:36 You did?
01:13:37 Yeah.
01:13:38 I'll be over in a sec.
01:13:39 Okay.
01:13:40 Here's your...
01:13:48 You okay?
01:13:49 Oh, yeah.
01:13:50 No, I'm great.
01:13:51 What happened?
01:13:55 I just...
01:13:57 I thought I was ready to put myself out there, I guess.
01:14:01 Like you.
01:14:02 And I met somebody, and it just, it all fell apart,
01:14:06 and now my job is in a wedding stuff box, and...
01:14:11 Calm down.
01:14:12 Calm down.
01:14:13 Calm down.
01:14:14 Calm down.
01:14:16 I'm sorry.
01:14:18 It's okay.
01:14:20 Really, I just...
01:14:23 I can't believe I miss him and his stupid face.
01:14:28 I know you've had a tough go at it, but listen to me.
01:14:32 You have got a big heart.
01:14:34 And it would be a shame for you to hold that all to yourself.
01:14:38 So when you're ready to make that leap, you go for it.
01:14:47 Thank you, Dad.
01:14:48 Woo!
01:14:49 Hole in one!
01:14:50 Look out, Tiger Woods!
01:14:52 Better be on your game, Ronnie!
01:14:55 Get over there.
01:14:56 You're going to be okay.
01:14:59 Good to meet you.
01:15:01 Come on, Tiger.
01:15:04 Oh my gosh, your daughter is so...
01:15:07 She's so sweet.
01:15:09 Hey, did we get the shipment of gelato?
01:15:20 No, I called about that.
01:15:21 We're having shipping delays all over the place.
01:15:25 Hi.
01:15:27 How's the sun?
01:15:28 Come do some work?
01:15:30 Not exactly.
01:15:31 I just wanted to come say hi.
01:15:33 That's...
01:15:35 not like you.
01:15:36 You look pale.
01:15:37 Are you sick?
01:15:38 I'm not sick.
01:15:39 Why do you guys keep saying that I'm sick?
01:15:40 Hey, don't sass your mom, okay?
01:15:41 I'm not sassing.
01:15:42 He's been grumpy all weekend.
01:15:43 Thanks, Chris.
01:15:44 Well, you have.
01:15:47 You look happy there.
01:15:55 I was happy.
01:15:58 I'm starting to get totally blue with it, though.
01:16:02 I think I'm starting to realize that I distance myself
01:16:06 from the people who care for me the most.
01:16:09 And I'm sorry that I haven't been around much.
01:16:11 Much?
01:16:12 Yeah.
01:16:13 You don't come around at all.
01:16:15 Except on your date.
01:16:16 Dad, you're right.
01:16:18 I came here to say that I'm sorry for how distant that I've been.
01:16:21 And also, working at this restaurant, it's just...
01:16:24 it's not what I want.
01:16:26 I may not know much about your tactics,
01:16:29 but I do understand what it is to build something important.
01:16:34 I know the business--
01:16:35 No, not the business.
01:16:38 Family.
01:16:42 And our family is more important than any of this.
01:16:47 We just want our boys to be happy.
01:16:49 More than anything.
01:16:51 And if that means doing your silly little dances online for a living,
01:16:56 so be it.
01:16:57 Wait, is that really what you guys think I do for a living?
01:17:00 It's okay, dear. We've made peace with it.
01:17:02 In fact, your father even learned one.
01:17:06 Show him, honey.
01:17:11 Oh, no.
01:17:13 Oh, Dad.
01:17:15 That's the worst.
01:17:16 All right, nobody ever needs to see that, ever.
01:17:18 Wow.
01:17:19 Did you know about this?
01:17:20 No.
01:17:21 Terrible. Yikes.
01:17:26 I love you guys. Seriously. Even you, Chris.
01:17:30 Good. That means you can get back to work.
01:17:33 Oh, thank you so much.
01:17:35 Thanks.
01:17:39 [sniffing]
01:17:44 [music]
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01:20:00 I'll go get us some drinks.
01:20:05 Hi.
01:20:12 Hi.
01:20:13 Look, Casey, I just need to say that I am so sorry about--
01:20:16 Okay, let's get this show on the road.
01:20:20 I--
01:20:23 This way?
01:20:24 Yeah.
01:20:27 [music]
01:20:32 [music]
01:20:35 Oh, thank you.
01:20:41 Hello, LA Singles.
01:20:43 [cheering]
01:20:45 First off, I just want to thank our wonderful event sponsor,
01:20:48 Bell Fair, for putting this together.
01:20:50 Let's everybody give them a hand real quick.
01:20:52 [cheering]
01:20:56 So tonight is about mixing and mingling with other singles.
01:21:00 And my job is to help you do that.
01:21:03 With that in mind, I actually have some exciting news.
01:21:07 As many of you know, I was supposed to promote my upcoming book tonight.
01:21:12 But now I don't think that that's a book that I want to be known for anymore.
01:21:16 You see, I met somebody recently,
01:21:18 and she taught me that finding love isn't something that you do by playing games,
01:21:23 following formulas.
01:21:25 Sometimes love finds you in the quiet moments,
01:21:29 when you're being your most true and honest self with someone who really sees you.
01:21:36 And they love you for who you are.
01:21:39 So tonight, I won't be promoting my book.
01:21:44 I don't have any hacks.
01:21:45 I don't have any formulas for you to follow.
01:21:47 My hope is that you'll mingle and be real with one another.
01:21:52 Be your true selves.
01:21:56 Because when you find someone that you can be your true self with,
01:21:58 man, that's something special.
01:22:04 If you're lucky enough to find it, I hope you're smarter than I am.
01:22:06 You hold on to it.
01:22:14 Anyway, sorry.
01:22:16 If you're feeling like being brave tonight,
01:22:18 I invite you to try a simple but effective icebreaker.
01:22:21 It's actually inspired by somebody that I met recently.
01:22:24 I call it easy question, hard question.
01:22:27 Is there a brave soul in the crowd tonight that wants to come up here and help me demonstrate?
01:22:33 Yeah, over here. Over here.
01:22:34 Yes, yes. This lady. Over here.
01:22:35 Yes.
01:22:37 Pretty lady down there. Come on up.
01:22:39 Yes, you got this.
01:22:51 Hi.
01:22:55 Hi.
01:22:57 Thank you to my lovely volunteer.
01:22:59 Let's introduce you. What's your name?
01:23:03 Casey.
01:23:06 All right, Casey.
01:23:07 So let me explain the icebreaker.
01:23:09 We're each going to take a turn asking one easy question, followed by a hard question.
01:23:14 I'll demonstrate. Easy question first.
01:23:16 What's your coffee order?
01:23:18 Medium half-caff almond milk, no foam with whipped mocha.
01:23:23 Okay, there's nothing easy about that, but not for the hard question.
01:23:33 Casey?
01:23:35 Will you take a chance on me?
01:23:55 I could never take a chance on an arrogant talk-flicks love doctor.
01:24:07 And when I met you, that's all I thought you were.
01:24:14 And I was so wrong.
01:24:19 Now I know that you're kind and funny and smart and confident.
01:24:32 You know, maybe a little too confident at times.
01:24:37 You love your family.
01:24:43 And you say that you like spicy foods, but really you're no match for chicken tikka tacos.
01:24:51 And you're brave.
01:24:55 And you helped me become brave, too.
01:25:02 So... yes.
01:25:13 Ryan, I will take a chance on you.
01:25:19 Let's jump to a hard question.
01:25:25 Will you go to dinner with me sometime?
01:25:32 Casey, that's an easy question.
01:25:54 Hey, Chris, wherever you are out there, will you come and take over on the mic for me?
01:25:57 I've got a hot date to get to.
01:26:00 You got it, bro.
01:26:04 You want to get out of here?
01:26:06 I actually know a good little place.
01:26:35 I'm going to get you a drink.
01:26:59 I'm going to get you a drink.
01:27:28 I'm going to get you a drink.
01:27:30 I'm going to get you a drink.
01:27:31 (siren blaring)
01:27:33 [BLANK_AUDIO]