Chaudhry Agha Majid Ki Larai, Saleem Albela Or Goga Ne Mazeed Bharkai
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariya Hoshiyaariya"
00:03 Hello, viewers. I'm Haroon Rafiq and you're watching Hoshiyaariya.
00:06 Friends, today I want to talk about a reference
00:09 which makes many people sad.
00:11 You see, there are many people around you who have a talent.
00:16 And you're jealous of that talent.
00:18 There are some people who envy that talent.
00:21 But those who are jealous are better.
00:23 They don't want to lose it.
00:25 They want to get that talent.
00:27 But often it's said that it's God gifted and you can't get it.
00:31 I agree that it's true that
00:34 God has given some people special qualities.
00:37 It's true.
00:38 But remember that God has given you a brain.
00:43 He has given you an ability.
00:45 If you look at someone's talent, you can get it.
00:49 But your brain deceives you.
00:51 It tells you that it's a hard work and you can't do it.
00:56 Even if you learn it, you can't be better than that person.
00:59 Science says, and it's absolutely right,
01:03 that if you practice anything for 18 minutes a day,
01:08 whether it's a game, a machine, an art,
01:12 a music, anything, a language,
01:14 if you give 18 minutes to anything in your life,
01:19 if you put in the effort, practice it, exercise it,
01:23 after one year,
01:26 you'll be better than 97% of the people in the world.
01:31 Let's start the show with this message.
01:35 Let's take you to Mr. Chaudhary.
01:37 We're missing him. Let's meet him.
01:40 Make us a few more bowls.
01:42 Haroon, what happened to the 'Rakha'?
01:45 Why did you forget 'Rakha'?
01:47 'Rakha pyareya hoddiju.'
01:49 I didn't understand that.
01:51 What happened to 'Baba Dana'?
01:53 'Baba Dana' is also wrong.
01:55 'Baba Dana hon na koda apna le leya.'
01:58 'Baba Dana..'
02:00 'Sameejo bhi tusi doosra lakkad da.'
02:03 'Odi padke aaj kal nachda Baba Dana.'
02:06 Today, the questions are all correct.
02:09 Mr. Chaudhary, tell us, whose request did you wear the black dress on?
02:14 I knew he'd look at me.
02:19 The one who made the request, he'll look at you.
02:22 Mr. Chaudhary, there's one thing.
02:24 You look cute when you smile and blush.
02:27 I'll give you some information.
02:29 Wherever you see a panda, it's owned by China.
02:33 Is it?
02:34 I'm telling you a fun fact.
02:36 Pandas are everywhere in the world.
02:38 All pandas are from China.
02:40 Mr. Chaudhary, I was talking to you.
02:42 Who is this?
02:44 I swear to God, you're talking about us.
02:47 Who did you call a panda?
02:49 I just said something.
02:51 You called a panda, not me.
02:52 I just thought of something.
02:54 Mr. Mehroon, pandas are from China.
02:56 Our pandas are from Pakistan.
02:58 They're from Pakistan.
03:00 They wear panties around their necks.
03:02 Mr. Chaudhary, who is this?
03:04 He's our Kamaji Jira.
03:06 Okay, he's another Kamaji.
03:07 Who is this?
03:08 Isn't he your relative?
03:10 No.
03:10 He's our relative.
03:12 - He's from the village. - Yes.
03:13 He's just starting his business.
03:15 - Okay. - He's a big landlord.
03:18 - Is that so? - Yes.
03:20 - Do you see this? - Yes.
03:22 He's not just a landlord.
03:24 He's a big landlord.
03:28 - Okay. - He's a big landlord.
03:29 He's the one who gave the village a way.
03:32 Mr. Haroon, I think there are more signals in Mr. Chaudhary's village.
03:40 He's a big liar.
03:44 Don't talk too much.
03:47 My Shimla is my pride.
03:49 I have two Shimlas.
03:50 - Two? - Yes.
03:52 I'm a very good cook.
03:55 Mr. Chaudhary, why don't you make two Shimlas?
03:58 I've lost my pride.
04:00 I've lost my pride.
04:03 What's the occasion?
04:06 Mr. Chaudhary, you're Chaudhary meeting.
04:08 Okay.
04:09 You talk to him.
04:10 - You keep coming to me. - Okay.
04:12 Okay?
04:13 Get a Shimla cut.
04:15 Get it cut from Khussa's thread.
04:19 - Jeera. - Yes, sir.
04:20 Where do you live?
04:21 I live in this village.
04:23 I've been living here since 14 years.
04:25 Jeera said he lives in a village.
04:27 Yes.
04:27 I live in this village.
04:29 - 14 years. - Shut up.
04:30 - I'm telling the truth. - What's the truth?
04:33 - Why are you shouting? - I'm not shouting.
04:35 - You're not shouting. - No.
04:38 I'm here to respect you.
04:39 - And I want to be respected. - And I...
04:42 I introduced you to everyone.
04:47 You're not a cow.
04:48 I'm telling you, live on your own.
04:52 You live on your own.
04:54 - You're a human being. - You're a human being.
04:56 I'll kill you.
04:58 - What are you doing? - Wait a minute.
05:00 - Wait a minute. - What's wrong with you?
05:03 - Wait a minute. - I swear on God.
05:06 What's your God?
05:08 Will you fight or give each other?
05:11 What's this?
05:13 You want to gather the entire village and create a scene?
05:15 I'm talking to him.
05:18 - You're talking to him. - You're talking to him.
05:23 Don't talk to me like that.
05:25 - Don't talk to me like that. - Don't talk to me like that.
05:27 - You're talking to me? - I'll get my mansion.
05:30 Sir, don't worry.
05:34 You're Chauri's friend.
05:37 You'll get Chauri's dead body and eat it.
05:39 I'll see you.
05:42 Don't worry.
05:44 The night is in the grave, not your turn.
05:47 You'll eat the day your grave is in the grave.
05:52 - Chauri, wait for me. - Wait for me.
05:57 - You'll get married, right? - No, Chai Sahib.
06:00 - I'll get you married. - No.
06:03 - You're a God. - Wait for me.
06:04 I'll get you married.
06:06 - Wait for me. - I'll wait for you.
06:11 Leave me.
06:12 Leave me.
06:14 Chai Sahib, leave me. I'm telling you to leave me.
06:16 - Chai Sahib, leave me. - You're holding me.
06:20 Go.
06:24 What's this?
06:25 - He's crazy. - He's trying to get married.
06:31 We've lived a decent life.
06:33 It doesn't mean that we'll get married.
06:36 Chaudhary, you've messed with the wrong Chaudhary.
06:39 - Why? - What?
06:40 He brings bad luck.
06:42 - Bad luck? - He brings bad luck.
06:44 He brings bad luck.
06:47 He brings bad luck.
06:49 He brings bad luck.
06:53 Tell him slowly. He doesn't say it once.
06:57 He brings bad luck.
07:02 He doesn't come close to me.
07:05 I think he's gone crazy.
07:09 - He's... - We should make arrangements.
07:11 He's a dangerous man.
07:13 Mr. Chaudhary, don't worry.
07:15 I'll go to Karachi. My friends live there.
07:18 I'll bring my friends to you in a couple of months.
07:21 If you get our information in a couple of months, we won't come.
07:25 Chaudhary, don't worry. I'll send two men. Don't worry.
07:31 - Who? - Him and him.
07:32 If he doesn't come today, we'll need him by Saturday.
07:39 You've done the right thing.
07:41 - You've brought a lot of trouble. - Really?
07:44 I've seen him before. He's killed a few people.
07:47 He's a big shot.
07:50 Why don't you inform the police first?
07:52 What will I tell the police?
07:54 The police will come.
07:56 Mr. Chaudhary, if you need guards, I can send 20-21 guards.
08:00 - Send them. - I've already sent them.
08:02 Mr. Chaudhary, where's your bravery?
08:06 What bravery? I'm not scared of anything.
08:11 - What? - I'll go to the village.
08:13 I'll fight here.
08:17 I'll fight with anyone.
08:19 - Innocent people will die here. - That's right.
08:23 I'm scared of this.
08:24 Innocent people like him will die by the first bullet.
08:29 - I won't go anywhere. - That's right.
08:31 You'll be sacrificed. What are you saying?
08:34 We'll go behind you.
08:35 (Laughs)
08:37 Mr. Chaudhary, I'm waiting for your permission.
08:42 I'll go home.
08:44 (Laughs)
08:46 Hello. Is this a fight?
08:48 (Laughs)
08:50 Mr. Chaudhary, I know a dangerous man.
08:54 Who is he?
08:55 His name is Jallu Kasai.
08:57 Jallu Kasai, he thinks that Tuesday is a holiday.
09:00 (Laughs)
09:02 He'll slap you on Tuesday.
09:04 (Laughs)
09:06 Jallu Kasai will think that it's my holiday.
09:08 (Laughs)
09:10 He has been in our area for a month.
09:12 - Is it? - He is a dangerous man.
09:16 - What does he do? - He sells meat in the bank.
09:19 (Laughs)
09:22 - He is a butcher. - Butcher?
09:24 - Yes. - Mr. Chaudhary, he fights.
09:27 He fights. He occupies land.
09:30 He kills, he steals, he kills.
09:33 He is a very busy butcher.
09:36 - He will do all this for us. - Okay.
09:39 You don't know him.
09:41 Jallu is so dangerous that he doesn't get angry.
09:44 He gets angry.
09:46 (Laughs)
09:47 Jallu doesn't feel thirsty.
09:50 He feels thirsty.
09:52 - Wow. - Jallu doesn't go to the bathroom.
09:55 Jallu goes to the bathroom.
09:56 (Laughs)
09:58 Where did Jallu come from?
10:00 (Laughs)
10:01 Jallu never set fire.
10:04 If he needs fire, he will set it.
10:07 (Laughs)
10:09 Jallu never watches TV.
10:12 He watches TV from Jallu.
10:14 (Laughs)
10:16 You are making fun of me.
10:17 You are making fun of me.
10:18 (Laughs)
10:20 Jallu never watches TV.
10:24 He watches TV from Jallu.
10:25 (Laughs)
10:27 He is a fool.
10:29 Jallu has never been bitten by a dog.
10:33 (Laughs)
10:34 Jallu has never been bitten by a dog.
10:38 Mr. Chaudhary, you forgot that your life is in danger.
10:40 - Yes. - Yes.
10:41 - Yes. - Call Jallu.
10:44 Bring Jallu here.
10:46 Bring Jallu here.
10:47 (Laughs)
10:48 Jallu never goes to any place.
10:51 Jallu opens the place himself.
10:53 Let's take him to the mansion.
10:55 (Laughs)
10:56 Chaudhary, I am going to the place where I can sit.
10:58 (Laughs)
11:00 Tell me, did Jallu clear your doubts?
11:02 (Laughs)
11:03 - I brought Jallu. - Did Jallu clear your doubts?
11:05 - Yes. - I brought him.
11:06 (Laughs)
11:08 (Applause)
11:10 Mr. Chaudhary, why should we worry?
11:13 Jallu is with us.
11:14 Dhaniya, you talk to me like you talk to me.
11:18 You make me feel very comfortable.
11:20 Keep it.
11:22 You will get a lot of money in the fight.
11:23 What is this?
11:26 Give it.
11:27 Give it. What song do you want to sing?
11:28 (Laughs)
11:30 Don't do this. Dhaniya, you are thinking of youth.
11:34 (Laughs)
11:36 I am thinking of the fight, not youth.
11:38 The person is dangerous.
11:40 When he comes to work to give money.
11:42 (Music)
11:48 He went to bring Jallu. He has brought a parrot.
11:50 (Laughs)
11:51 - Where is Jallu? - Tell me, uncle.
11:53 You have a lot of attitude.
11:55 - Yes. - You have a parrot.
11:57 (Laughs)
11:59 Jiriya, where is Jallu?
12:02 Uncle, the fight will be over.
12:04 (Laughs)
12:05 If the money is not enough, then give me some more.
12:08 (Laughs)
12:09 Here comes Jallu's first bad boy.
12:14 His pet, Babbar Sher is here.
12:17 Babbar Sher?
12:19 Babbar Sher?
12:20 Babbar Sher?
12:22 Babbar Sher?
12:24 Babbar Sher?
12:25 - Babbar Sher? - Yes.
12:26 - Babbar Sher. - Where is he?
12:28 (Laughs)
12:30 What happened to your eyes?
12:32 Get your eyes treated.
12:34 Can't you see such a big bad boy?
12:37 Are you a bad boy?
12:38 (Laughs)
12:39 No.
12:40 (Laughs)
12:45 Congratulations. He is a bad boy now.
12:48 (Laughs)
12:49 Bring Jallu, bring Khusra, like you brought a bad boy.
12:53 (Laughs)
12:55 - Your bad boy? - I told you to bring Jallu.
12:58 (Laughs)
13:01 Open your eyes, I think you want to lose.
13:04 (Laughs)
13:06 Take care of Mr. Chaudhary, he shouldn't get any injuries.
13:10 Don't worry.
13:13 Your Chaudhary will not get any injuries.
13:16 Where did he go?
13:18 (Laughs)
13:19 He went to the toilet.
13:21 He has handled the fight.
13:22 I think he doesn't handle the fight.
13:25 He handles the fight.
13:27 Mr. Chaudhary, the filter is on.
13:29 (Laughs)
13:35 (Snoring)
13:37 (Snoring)
13:40 Jallu.
13:41 Board.
13:42 (Laughs)
13:50 I think it's sour.
13:52 (Laughs)
13:55 Get the kids.
13:57 Why?
13:59 Does the kids eat sour food?
14:00 Kids don't eat sour food.
14:04 The sour food is what the kids eat.
14:06 (Laughs)
14:08 Mr. Jallu.
14:09 - Yes. - Tell me.
14:12 Which villages do you want to build?
14:14 And where will you harvest the potatoes?
14:16 Be patient.
14:18 Jallu has never harvested the potatoes.
14:22 He will harvest the potatoes.
14:24 (Laughs)
14:26 Tell me something.
14:28 Who gave us our CV before us?
14:30 (Laughs)
14:32 Mr. Jallu, Chaudhary has come to us.
14:35 You have to protect us.
14:37 Don't worry, Chaudhary.
14:39 No one comes to the mansion.
14:41 No one comes to me for 2 km.
14:44 Are you serious?
14:46 Ask us how many of us are sitting here.
14:48 (Laughs)
14:50 Mr. Jallu, the thing is...
14:53 Chaudhary has sent us a message.
14:56 - Oh. - He has sent us a message.
15:00 (Laughs)
15:01 I want you to understand that this is a real problem.
15:06 Chaudhary, you know that they charge us for this.
15:09 We will give you as much money as you want.
15:11 - Okay. - We have to protect the village.
15:13 That's it. We will do as we are told.
15:16 (Laughs)
15:17 He is a fool.
15:20 (Laughs)
15:22 When Chaudhary comes and sees the weapons in his hands,
15:25 he will run away.
15:27 No. Listen to my next plan.
15:30 Tell me.
15:30 - All their weapons... - Yes.
15:33 ...will be stored here.
15:35 Okay.
15:36 They will go out and sit on the floor.
15:38 Okay.
15:39 They will think that we are ordinary people.
15:42 - When Chaudhary comes in... - Yes.
15:45 - ...they will tear it. - Yes.
15:46 - This is the plan. - So, Chaudhary will come in the middle
15:49 - and Chaudhary will come from behind. - Yes.
15:51 - It's an ambush. - Yes.
15:52 - They are planning an ambush. - Yes.
15:53 They will tear it all.
15:56 - Chaudhary, it's done. - Yes.
15:59 Leave.
16:00 - Jallu, give it to me. - Yes, Chaudhary.
16:02 Keep it.
16:04 You will sit there as a decent man.
16:06 - Okay. - And you will talk decently.
16:09 There will be no misbehavior.
16:11 - Come. - Chaudhary, give me your hand.
16:12 - Sit here as a decent man. - What?
16:14 - A decent man. - Oh!
16:16 They will think that we are ordinary people.
16:19 It shouldn't be obvious that you are...
16:23 ...a great man and you can do everything.
16:28 You should be Jallu.
16:31 Chaudhary, our enemy is here.
16:37 Chaudhary!
16:39 Chaudhary!
16:40 - What? - What is this?
16:47 - What is this? - What is this, Chaudhary?
16:49 What is this?
16:50 Jallu was not shot.
16:53 - Yes. - Jallu was shot.
16:55 What is this? What is happening?
16:58 Chaudhary, what is this?
16:59 We have found our enemy.
17:00 No, Dhania, you don't know.
17:02 I know that Haroon has been...
17:06 ...guarding the hideouts in my area for the past two months.
17:08 - Okay. - He is involved in thefts.
17:10 He goes to the streets at night.
17:11 - He doesn't go to sleep. - Okay.
17:14 I doubt that he has taken me for some work.
17:16 - Oh! - Yes.
17:18 Hey!
17:19 Go home.
17:22 - I have been here for 40 years. - I am sorry.
17:26 - I am sorry. - And you have done this to find out?
17:29 - Yes. - I have played this game.
17:32 - Wow! - I have brought him here...
17:34 ...and planned with Chaudhary...
17:37 ...to catch him.
17:38 - He is the one who is responsible. - Wow!
17:42 - Hey, Jiria. - Yes.
17:44 He is born with a face like Chaudhary.
17:46 You were saying that Jallu doesn't tell the time to Kadhi.
17:53 Kadhi tells Jallu the time.
17:55 Now you have a problem with Kadhi.
17:56 Jallu has never hit a sheep...
17:58 ...when my sheep has hit Jallu.
18:06 Viewers, we will take a short break.
18:07 We will meet again after the break.
18:09 I don't understand your problems.
18:12 Oh!
18:13 - What is your problem? - My life is ruined.
18:15 Why are you still talking about it?
18:17 Your bones are the problem.
18:21 You think that you are the only one with a crooked family.
18:26 (audience laughing)