Spider-Man en 6 Minutes ! (Vidéo exclusive Dailymtoion)
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00:00 *Batman theme*
00:10 It's for you that I do this guys, I fucking love you!
00:12 *Batman theme*
00:16 A great power filled with great responsibilities, Uncle Ben, Spiderman 1, I have a dream!
00:21 Ah but I see that we have a big fan of Batman among us, that's good, shake!
00:25 Yeah Batman yeah, so what are you doing in this singular environment?
00:28 Well it's not seen, I'm preparing to go save New York, the ladies in distress, you know!
00:34 But wait, New York is more than 6000 km, how are you going to do?
00:37 No but I'm kidding, it's a pyjama, it's not a real suit, hello!
00:40 Ah it's a pyjama, oh but I got fooled brother, at the same time the seams, the finishes in cotton simile, well it looks like a real manga!
00:46 Wait it's true, I'm glad you make the remark, because I still paid him 50 boulas!
00:50 50 bucks, but what a deal brother! It's wrong, you got scammed, it's seen openly that it's shit, the seams will not last two days!
00:56 But wait, you just said it was well done!
00:58 Well I lied to you my guy, it's like that, it's the jungle law, "Life is a bitch" as we say in the North of Calais!
01:03 Ok, well it's definitive, you're really weird, we say that I'm going thanks to my super imaginary powers, come on, we say that we do that!
01:09 Well today we decided to talk to you about Spiderman, you know, this guy who is bitten by a radioactive spider,
01:20 and instead of slowly dying in atrocious suffering like any sane person, this son of a bitch has developed out of common abilities!
01:27 So be careful, don't go hit yourself with a shot of uranium-238 to flex a max in front of your crush,
01:32 because in real life, radioactivity has the particularity of destroying any form of cell.
01:36 And since your body is made up of 100% cells, spoiler, it will increase your chances of dying by 100%.
01:41 Which would mean that instead of throwing yourself between two buildings before throwing yourself into the void,
01:45 you would throw yourself between four boards before throwing yourself into a hole.
01:48 Peter Parker evolved in a world where deadly accidents have a 30% chance of killing you and a 70% chance of giving you superpowers.
01:55 This bite allowed him to acquire superhuman strength and reflexes, allowing him to perform this dance with prestige and panache.
02:02 "Hello, I'm Prestige, hello, I'm Panache"
02:04 But also to perform this kind of dodge to avoid death or worse, an injury.
02:09 He also has the power to hang on to any surface such as a nickel or a dime,
02:13 or the ability to make the majority of 10-year-old children fantasize.
02:17 Pushing them to go into the attic and to rob a spider with a 357-magdom with a high-performance bullet.
02:22 In order to force this defenseless little arachnid to bite his forearm,
02:26 in the hope that this bite will modify his DNA and transform him into Spider-Man,
02:30 Spider-Man's most faithful acolyte, alias Spider-Man.
02:33 Because yes, we still haven't translated it for the bilingual names I already imagine you,
02:37 like "What the fuck, what is he talking about from the beginning? I know the Spider game on Windows 98, but it has nothing to do with it, I don't understand, nananina".
02:44 Oh, wait, you don't have the impression of taking our viewers, our dear viewers, for big morons.
02:49 So yes, but at the same time, they don't all have the sixth sense of the spider, if you see what I mean.
02:53 But big, nobody has the sixth sense of the spider, even spiders don't have the sixth sense of the spider.
02:57 Well, if I have it, go ahead, throw me something, I'll show you, look.
03:00 Wait, wait, I wasn't ready, do it again.
03:02 Wait, wait, I'm concentrating, go ahead, again.
03:04 Yes, yes, good, yes, but I have nothing, it's good, I have nothing, go ahead, it's good, follow the video.
03:07 Spider-Man is a super popular superhero of pop culture.
03:11 Because yes, everyone loves Spider-Man, people recognize themselves in the character.
03:15 A loser who becomes a superhero, it's within everyone's reach.
03:18 Even if in real life, people are usually content to remain losers, but hey.
03:21 And I know what I'm talking about, I'm a crack myself in the field of the loose.
03:24 So when I see Spidey, I have a little impression of being his little autistic brother.
03:27 I also make signs with my fingers, but nothing happens, no canvas spills, only jealousy, despair and a max of semen.
03:34 Finally, invented by Feu Stanley in 1962, we can say that he is no longer very young.
03:39 I'm talking about Spider-Man, not Stanley, he just died, Feu Stanley by the way.
03:43 But be careful, that does not mean that Spider-Man is 59 years old.
03:46 Even if there is a good chance that such a version of Spider-Man exists,
03:49 since with the principle of multiverse, everything is possible, everything is achievable.
03:52 An infinity of parallel worlds necessarily unlocks an infinity of Spider-Man.
03:56 As in particular the Spider-Pig, the Spider-Man of the Gestapo or the Fortnite skin.
04:00 But that has nothing to do with the multiverse, let's see.
04:03 And even the classic version of Peter Parker, the one you all know,
04:06 this classic mule-beat costume in the color of the PSG,
04:09 has had the right to three cinematic adaptations over the years,
04:12 which each tell the same story, but in a different way.
04:15 They all get bitten by a spider, they all lose their Uncle Ben,
04:19 but the version of Tobey Maguire is objectively the best.
04:22 How do I know? Well, it's very simple.
04:24 I am the holder of a certificate of objectivity certified by the state.
04:27 In addition, everything I say is true, Jojo is on the side, subscribe, put the bell.
04:31 Hey, calm down, be careful, you're going to make enemies, Jojo fans, do not test them, ora ora ora.
04:35 Oh, it's okay, I'm kidding, it's second degree.
04:39 No, but man, we're on the Internet, actually, the second degree,
04:41 it doesn't really exist, we investigated it a long time ago.
04:43 Wait, that means that if I say that I have a golden suckling pig,
04:46 like that, everyone will believe me?
04:47 What? How do you have a golden suckling pig?
04:49 Wait, you know that with a sex-tag of a footballer,
04:51 we can make balls, golden balls.
04:53 Well, as said before, there are several versions of Spider-Man,
04:56 and his current interpreter, Tom Holland, is the successor of his two predecessors.
05:00 So it's up to him to defend the widow and the orphan against all the super villains.
05:04 And it's good, since there are a lot of them in the Spider-Man universe.
05:07 The Rhino Shield, the Green-Eyed Beetle, Doctor Octopus Prime,
05:10 the Salamander or the Mysterious Man.
05:13 Jake Gyllenhaal, you're beautiful, I love you, I want to marry you.
05:15 In addition, this version of the Spider-Man, he deserves to be part of the Avengers,
05:18 which I must underline is not given to anyone.
05:21 Are you part of the Avengers? No, man, you're clearly not worthy of it.
05:24 Even Mr. Superman is not part of the Avengers,
05:27 the natural charisma of Henry Cavill will not have been enough to make him win his place.
05:31 While Spider-Man, this teenage dissident with a questionable sense of humor,
05:34 received his invitation directly from Iron Man's hand,
05:37 the same hand that made the most legendary finger snap in cinema.
05:40 And since he's part of the Avengers, Peter Parker is in the air.
05:43 He regularly appears in other MCU movies and follows up with solo movies.
05:47 Moreover, the last one was released recently,
05:49 and what's good with the final plot twist is that at the end...
05:51 Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
05:53 I wasn't really going to spoil it, I didn't even see the movie anyway.
05:56 Oh, that's great, we can watch it together, live, tonight, on Twitch.
05:59 No, it worked with Fortnite and Minecraft,
06:01 but here we can't do that, it's illegal, man.
06:04 Yes, you're right my friend, the world is ruled by rules that impose limits on us,
06:08 such as copyrights.
06:09 The assassin, the ursus, and other words that inspire anguish.
06:13 I'm not happy, I'm hitting the point, okay?
06:15 However, we will be live tonight on Twitch,
06:18 so don't hesitate to come and have a good time with us,
06:21 and especially to slap a maximum of sub, my friend,
06:23 the money, my guy, the moula!
06:25 With that, it's the end of this video, I invite you to subscribe,
06:28 thanks to all the tippers who support us without weakening, you are the help.
06:31 I'll see you next time, share the video,
06:33 see you later, kisses, the little blue thumb you know, it's ciao, kisses!
06:36 *Outro*