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00:00 [Music]
00:04 Well, today we decided to talk about Apple.
00:06 You know, this American multinational that symbolizes a croquette apple
00:10 or, for Verlans fans, a Mepo-Kekro.
00:13 Created in 1976 by Steve Jobs and two other anecdotal men
00:17 in the garage of the first's childhood home,
00:19 this company is today the biggest company in the world
00:23 whose value is currently rising to more than 2,700 billion dollars.
00:27 A value that we, mere mortals, are not designed to visualize,
00:31 knowing that the most expensive object on the planet costs only 100 billion.
00:34 And it's the fucking International Space Station, known as the ISS.
00:38 You know, it's where Thomas Pesquet plays the saxophone regularly.
00:41 But all this to say that Apple is not the company to your father who sells dildos.
00:45 No, no, no, my friend, it's an emblematic brand of modern times,
00:48 with millions and millions of loyal, ready to enter the crusade at any time.
00:53 The proof being, in 2021, a billion iPhones were active in the world,
00:57 which means that one in seven humans owns an iPhone.
01:00 One in seven humans uses Safari to surf the web.
01:03 One in seven humans has to recharge his phone every 15 minutes.
01:06 One in seven humans's best friend is Siri, my friend.
01:09 So, one in seven humans probably loves sodomy.
01:12 But before selling phones for a thousand bucks and their non-universal chargers,
01:16 Apple had at the beginning, for a purpose, to revolutionize the world of technology.
01:20 You should know that the Apple II, Apple's first commercial success,
01:23 released in 1977, is the first personal computer to have been sold on a large scale.
01:28 The guys clearly participated in the evolution of the human species.
01:31 Because we're not going to lie, since we have computers, life is much easier.
01:35 The simple idea of imagining a world without Carlos, my beloved PC,
01:39 gives me cold sweats and a sudden desire to kill time.
01:41 They then launched the famous iMac in 1998.
01:45 First all-in-one computer, which looked at the time more like a big Tamagotchi than a computer.
01:50 We're not going to lie.
01:51 Fortunately, over time, they opted for an aluminum coating,
01:54 which perfectly matches the gracious curves and generous dimensions of the device.
01:59 But without lowering the price, quite the opposite.
02:02 1500 euros for a computer on which I can't play video games,
02:06 being myself a PC Master Race gamer, I don't care about the use.
02:10 Yes, but it's made to work, not to play, it's for professionals, actually.
02:13 Okay, but me, on my PC Master Race, I can also work, you know.
02:17 At the moment I write this sentence, I'm working on my PC Master Race.
02:21 So me, your MacBook Air, MacBook Pro, MacBook Mini, MacStudio, MacGyver,
02:26 I don't give a fuck, my brother, you hear me? I don't give a fuck!
02:29 Then Apple launched in 2001 the iPod, a last-generation digital walkman,
02:34 which quickly became the undisputed market leader.
02:38 A market that quickly collapsed due to its uselessness.
02:41 Well, yes, everyone doesn't care about a device on which you can only listen to music.
02:45 Especially since in 2007 came out the iPhone, on which you can listen to music,
02:49 but also make calls, play games, go on the Internet, well, a smartphone, what.
02:52 Do I need to explain to you what a smartphone is? No, everyone knows what a smartphone is.
02:56 Besides, the 13 generations of iPhone and their 34 different models
03:00 clearly contributed to everyone knowing what a smartphone is,
03:03 while allowing Apple to considerably extend their supremacy.
03:07 Because yes, it's undeniable, the iPhone is Apple's flagship product.
03:10 The company has even sold more than 2 billion of them since 2007.
03:13 In 2010, Apple will release the iPad, which will also be a huge success, as Mandarin would say.
03:18 But since I'm an old fart who doesn't really know the usefulness of a tablet,
03:21 I'm not going to give importance to this device, synonymous with half-measure. Thank you.
03:26 Wait, either you're a computer, or you're a phone. You can't be both, okay?
03:30 Don't try to make me believe you're both. You're not fooling anyone, Stéphane.
03:34 If it's actually hundreds of millions of consumers.
03:36 Well, after Apple, it's also dozens of accessories, various and varied,
03:40 that will dress you like a hat, a scarf, or a plastic horse head.
03:44 Like, for example, the apple watch, better known as the Apple Watch,
03:48 which, in addition to giving you the time, will allow you to take a call from your wrist.
03:52 But also to write an SMS from your wrist, to pay without contact from your wrist,
03:56 to masturbate thanks to your wrist, and even if you don't wear it. High-tech or not?
04:01 No, but seriously, this Apple Watch is still fantastic.
04:03 However, you have to recharge it every night and it costs 500 bucks.
04:06 Yeah, 500 bucks. Yeah, every night, my guy.
04:08 And to finish, the thing that's going pretty well right now, it's the AirPods.
04:11 You know, this pair of wireless headphones that recharge in a small wireless box,
04:14 that you'll have recharged beforehand thanks to a non-universal charger.
04:18 Well, that's if you haven't lost them before.
04:20 And believe me, it's pretty likely to happen.
04:22 The thing literally measures 3 centimeters.
04:24 3 centimeters of pure technology for the damn sum of 200 euros.
04:28 That's 66 euros per centimeter of AirPods, that's 100 euros attached to each ear.
04:33 And without any safety net.
04:35 That is, if it falls, it falls.
04:37 And if a guy decides to rip them off and run away, he can, my friend.
04:40 He's already far away. If you want to start catching up with him, it's now or never, actually.
04:43 Well, after that, he'll have to pay 50 bucks to buy the small box and the charger.
04:47 But still, it pisses me off. I'm here, I'm listening to some nice music,
04:50 and then a guy breaks my AirPods and goes on his T-Max.
04:52 No, but that's disgusting, seriously.
04:53 That's it, that's the end of this video. I hope you liked it.
04:56 I invite you to share it, to like it, to subscribe to the channel,
04:59 and to watch all the other videos on the channel.
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05:09 Come on, ciao!
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