The Essential Financial Questions To Ask Your Partner With Investor Jason Tartick

Forbes

Jason Tartick, author and host of “Trading Secrets” podcast, joins Rosemarie Miller on Forbes New Money to discuss his 8 essential tips on financial conversations you should have with your partner.  00:00 Introduction 00:30 Writing 'Talk Money To Me' 01:42 The Second Leading Reason Couples Get Divorced 02:19 Tips For Talking About Money 05:31 How To Have The Money Conversation 10:36 Jason's History With Money 13:05 From Banking To Entrepreneurship 20:45 Business Post-Bachelorette 23:17 Why You Need To Tap Into Your Unique Talent 24:07 How Jason Invests And Spends  Subscribe to FORBES: https://www.youtube.com/user/Forbes?sub_confirmation=1  Fuel your success with Forbes. Gain unlimited access to premium journalism, including breaking news, groundbreaking in-depth reported stories, daily digests and more. Plus, members get a front-row seat at members-only events with leading thinkers and doers, access to premium video that can help you get ahead, an ad-light experience, early access to select products including NFT drops and more:  https://account.forbes.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=growth_non-sub_paid_subscribe_ytdescript  Stay Connected Forbes newsletters: https://newsletters.editorial.forbes.com Forbes on Facebook: http://fb.com/forbes Forbes Video on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/forbes Forbes Video on Instagram: http://instagram.com/forbes More From Forbes:  http://forbes.com  Forbes covers the intersection of entrepreneurship, wealth, technology, business and lifestyle with a focus on people and success.

Transcript

00:00 So I also have a fun little saying and it's like if we can start as a little off the beating path for Forbes

00:05 But if we could start to like, you know talk about sex

00:08 I think we could start talking about checks like that's my little fun saying

00:12 Hi everyone and welcome to new money where we talk to movers and shakers about how they made it

00:20 I'm your host Rose Marie Miller here with Jason Tartick author and founder of trading secrets podcast

00:27 Thank you so much for joining me today Jason. Thank you so much for having me

00:30 So Jason, you just wrote a book talk money to me

00:34 What made you write a book right now? Yeah, so this is actually my second book

00:38 My first book was called the restart roadmap is very focused on

00:41 Career navigation and making sure that you're leading your career as opposed to like the blueprint that life will put you on

00:48 And so I was thinking about my next book and I've been doing a lot of work in the personal finance space

00:52 I said, you know, there's a lot of love books out there and there's a lot of money books out there

00:57 My background MBA accounting and finance and I was a banker by trade and entrepreneur

01:02 So I'm a personal finance expert, but I also have a connection to the bachelor franchise, which is about love

01:08 So I said, how do I take these worlds and marry them and I recognize that there aren't many books about love and money yet

01:15 We know that money is a huge contributor to our success in love

01:20 Unfortunately in the United States, there's also a lot of research such as we're struggling in that area

01:25 So it's a book that helps individuals prepare for their financial well-being

01:29 But also to prepare for the well-being of them and a significant other so it's for singles or people in a relationship

01:36 But the idea is we can't improve our money unless we start talking about it. So it's called talk money to me

01:42 You know what? You have a point because isn't like one of the top three reasons people get divorced money issues

01:48 Yeah, so money arguments is the second leading reason people get divorced behind infidelity, right?

01:53 And there's some other statistics out there that say 73% of couples source money as attention and in that same study

02:01 Half of the 73% say it impacts their intimacy

02:05 So now we have a topic of like literally just money and it's impacting the intimacy in our relationship and the success rate

02:12 So it's a huge topic of conversation and one that we need to dive into

02:18 So in this book you have eight essential questions that you should have with your partner

02:23 So, how did you come up with those questions? Was it research? Was it life experiences? What? Yeah, so it's interesting

02:30 I said so the thing is is that I find that you know stories can shift especially in this world contacts can change

02:37 But there's this overarching theme that numbers don't lie. They tell a story right and you can't change them

02:44 You can change it, but you can't change the context when you see the number

02:47 So every chapter in this book is a question and the answer is a number right which is objective not subjective

02:54 It's a number you have to know about your personal financial well-being and when I suggest that you know about your partners

03:00 And then how to improve it and there's resources to guide you through that and then how to have the conversation

03:05 so the numbers are actually very connected to my banking days because I would have to underwrite loans for

03:12 Individuals and then I moved up to the fact I was underwriting loans for large corporations and then lending to large corporations

03:18 So the idea is why don't we use the banks benchmark for what they look at to understand?

03:25 What they will lend to us and the rate at which they'll do it

03:29 So it's a little insider information that these numbers are actually the numbers that the system is

03:34 Prioritizing when they look at your financial well-being

03:37 So it brings you through the A to Z all the way down to what age you want to retire and why?

03:43 Yeah, so could you give us some tips on what we should be discussing with our partner regarding money for sure?

03:50 Well, I think first and foremost like I can get into the nitty-gritty in the details

03:53 The first thing is we got to start having fun with money like we hear money and we get scared

03:59 We it's it feels like it's icky

04:01 I mean, we're not even prepared if you look at the research us as individuals

04:04 Aren't prepared to think about what we earn and then how to go to go negotiate for ourselves

04:09 So, how are we going to be comfortable talking about other people's money, right?

04:14 So the basics are let's have fun with this. So even on like a first date you can joke around

04:19 It's a good way to know someone's spending behaviors be like, all right, you win a million bucks today after taxes

04:23 You gotta spend every single cent. What are you gonna spend it on?

04:27 Okay, another fun one to ask is like, all right, unless you went completely broke

04:31 What is one thing, you know, you overspend on like what is it and why is it right or like what was the craziest purchase?

04:38 You just made in the last three months like how much did you spend on it?

04:41 So there's ways to have like fun with this that we can learn and then we can dive into the specifics

04:45 I think some of the three big specifics you got to know, especially when you start living with someone

04:50 Is there credit score you want to know what annual expenses they have so outflows and then income what comes in the door?

04:58 Those are three big starting points that you need to know because my whole philosophy is that your net worth is not your self-worth

05:05 But we have to disclose this stuff so that there aren't surprises because it's not that

05:10 Individuals are in a bad position financially. It's that we're just not talking about them as a result of that

05:16 We feel deceived and that's impacting relationships. So I think that's a starting point though. Have fun with money conversations once you consider

05:25 Rehabitating you got to know credit score. You got to know outflows and you got to know inflows, you know growing up

05:30 I kind of heard it's rude to talk about money. So how do you actually have that conversation?

05:35 I I'm in love with this person. We're about to move in together

05:39 What's your credit score? Yeah

05:42 Show me your credit

05:44 100% so I think first and foremost like any type of vulnerability the best way for vulnerability

05:50 Which we know creates connection is show your cards first. So I have a podcast trading secrets

05:55 We've had over 150 episodes or a top 25 business podcasts and people always say

05:59 How do you get these individuals to talk all about money?

06:02 Well, I get them to talk about money because I talk about money. I showcase all the numbers first every episode

06:09 I talked about how much I made that year. I talked about where I lost money where I've made money

06:13 So if you lead with vulnerability people will be vulnerable with you

06:17 My take on money or credit score anything is that the system is my thesis the system has put in place

06:24 This form of etiquette that we shouldn't talk about it

06:28 But I feel though it's in place truly to benefit like their massive massive

06:34 Profitability at the top if we talk about what we earn I can then learn about other industries

06:40 I can learn where people are making money as a result of that

06:42 Maybe I can earn more money if we talk about where we spend and how much as a consumer I become more educated

06:49 So if we could stop putting a negative connotation to money and actually look at as a form of education

06:54 We could recognize it's only helping us when we start having conversations about it

06:59 So I also have a fun little saying and it's like if we can start as a little off the beating path for Forbes

07:05 But if we could start to like, you know talk about sex

07:08 I think we could start talking about checks like that's my little fun saying

07:12 But I think there's ways to do it and I think one of the things is just saying, you know

07:16 We know that the statistics are working against us with money and relationships as a result of that

07:22 Like are you against possibly just like maybe opening up and showing each other like where we're at and why I think the other thing

07:28 Too is with when you talk about credit specifically you could look like the first quarter of 2023

07:33 The average house price was around like 438 K

07:36 Okay

07:36 So let's just say the average home price will make it simples like three hundred thousand if you look at a three hundred thousand dollar

07:42 loan over 30 years

07:44 Someone that has a great credit credit score 760 and up for someone who has a below average credit score

07:49 620 to 630 same house same price point this couple is gonna pay over a hundred thousand dollars more in interest

07:57 So why don't we just have these conversations because then it's not a form of judging or weaponizing

08:03 It's a form of saying let's improve this so we can improve ourselves

08:07 Yeah, and I think that's the approach that you need to come at. Oh, wow. That's a that's a big difference

08:13 I know it's crazy. I

08:15 Understand what you're saying? Okay lead with vulnerability

08:18 but I feel like if you're showing me your

08:21 800 credit. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm showing you what a

08:26 400 credit. Yeah, that's like you showing me as you said with sex. Yeah, you're clean std test

08:34 I

08:35 Still don't feel comfortable doing that. Yeah. What what tips do you have for someone who may be in that situation?

08:41 Yeah, for sure. I think that's it. Okay, so that's a great example and a tough situation

08:47 I agree with that

08:47 But I think one of the things is in this world, especially with money is units can help one another, right?

08:53 We know that if someone has a 400 credit score and they're actually having the conversation with their partner who has an 800 credit score

09:01 If there's trust there there's different strategies that you can implement where that 800 credit score can pull that person up into the 600

09:09 Into the 700s, right?

09:11 So we know as a result that if you guys work as one you can actually improve that number

09:16 I think one of the biggest issues is that we leverage and then weaponize right?

09:20 So we hear the 400 and we instantly connect it to like an example like that like an STD

09:26 And I think we need to understand that like we all in America every single person even that person with a 800 credit score

09:33 We are all dealing with some type of financial challenge that we need to overcome

09:38 Every single one of us has hurdles with our finances in some capacity. It could be spending it could be savings

09:45 It could be retirement. It could be debt management

09:47 It could be anything a to Z, but we all have them

09:51 So as opposed to saying because you have a 400 I am going to put you in a certain bucket as it relates to finances

09:58 It's irresponsible of that person because that we know is not the case

10:02 There's some people with 400 credit scores that are multi millionaires and even billionaires, right?

10:07 So a credit score does not define you and it's a tagline

10:10 I'll continue to say is like your net worth your net worth is not your self-worth in any capacity

10:16 The problem though, we've learned it's that no one is talking about it that 400 to 800 credit score. It's not happening

10:22 So step one is like get there step two is how do you work as a team to overcome it?

10:27 The biggest thing is do not weaponize money because if you do you are creating the same solution that got us here to not talk

10:34 about it

10:36 Jason I want to talk about the man behind all of this amazing

10:39 What is your earliest memory of money?

10:45 My my I would say my most memorable

10:48 Memory of money is gonna be because it was early - was my grandfather

10:53 So he was an oral surgeon and a professor. All right, so highly educated great profession

10:58 But he always outsourced his money management to an advisor and unfortunately

11:03 He was being taken advantage of in a really tough way

11:06 He found out and he had to pay an exit fee of 10% of his entire

11:12 Net worth to get the money out based on contracts where they're set up now. This was 30 40 years ago, right?

11:19 So the times aren't today regulations today that exist were in place 10% of his net worth

11:24 He took it out

11:25 So it was the hardest lesson I learned it was the best lesson I learned and as a guy that only had health care

11:30 expertise as a

11:31 Oral surgeon he taught himself how to manage money

11:34 Said I'm no longer going to be oblivious to the biggest asset

11:39 And so he taught himself how to manage money how to invest money all the things and so at 16 years old

11:44 he sat me down in his office and

11:46 He managed the money for all of everybody in our family and he showed me every single dollar

11:52 He earned every single dollar my parents account and my grandmother's account and everywhere what they're invested in why they're invested

12:00 And it's 16. I was glued to the screen and what I recognized what he was teaching me. Is that

12:07 Through this transparency you're going to learn lessons

12:10 It's going to improve your overall financial health and wealth and as a result of that not only did it do it for me

12:16 But now I'm so passionate about trying to do it for others

12:19 And so that was at 16 is one of the best lessons I ever learned was

12:23 Show the numbers learn the numbers understand them

12:27 Don't judge them want to help them as a result. You'll be in a better financial situation

12:32 Is he who inspired you to get a business degree and ultimately get an MBA and what accounting and finance?

12:38 Accounting and finance. Yeah, he that was my first time that I connected

12:42 You know numbers and money and seeing someone's life's life's work and I just got obsessed with it

12:48 I was like, I know my direction will be in this space

12:52 And so unfortunately my grandfather passed away in July of 2022, but in the book, there's some pictures

12:58 I got to show on my first book and like just to see that full circle moment was pretty cool. Yeah

13:03 Yeah

13:06 Numbers that that's kind of what you were meant to do. Yeah, what was your experience like when you were a banker?

13:12 Yeah, when I was a banker, I just loved the industry because again, especially in this in this world

13:17 There's there's so many different things happening and it's it's hard to like angle and understand people

13:24 There's passive-aggressive communication. There's so many different forms of communication

13:27 But what's interesting is like the numbers just always made sense to me

13:31 But what didn't make sense to me sometimes are people so I had the fortune in this in this bank that I worked for

13:37 Because I was an accelerated program. I even got to spend a week at a teller line

13:41 So everything from being a teller to working under a head executive at headquarters and strategy to then lending over a hundred million dollars

13:48 I got to see all positions a to Z at the bank

13:50 Probably my biggest takeaway is do not judge a book by its cover like in the in the retail space

13:56 I remember people would come in and

13:58 You would assume what their wealth would be based on what they had or what they were driving or what they looked like and then

14:03 you'd sit down and go through their financials and

14:05 They either didn't have anything or everything and you're shocked every single time

14:10 And I think it what's interesting in America is households with over two hundred fifty thousand dollars of household income

14:15 61% of them are driving Hondas Fords or Toyotas

14:19 So I think we live in a space where we're actually like you hear this term gaslighting in relationships

14:25 We gaslight through our assets

14:28 We try to showcase something that exists that don't at the bank

14:31 I got to see all the numbers so they could have a front of their wealthy and healthy and thriving

14:37 But I got to see the numbers and that wasn't always the case

14:39 And so for me, I always found that fascinating and then I also found it fascinating that

14:45 Small little tips and tricks that you could give businesses can instantly impact those numbers

14:50 So just using numbers as a scorecard to see what we're putting into them and showcasing how that can evolve them or grow them

14:58 It's just a fascinating thing for me. Maybe it's the whole idea of like direct input equals direct results with numbers

15:04 You can see that

15:06 Why aren't you still a banker? Well, that's that's the million-dollar question there

15:12 So I was grinding ten years got my MBA in accounting finance, you know moved up the ladder relocated four times longest

15:20 Was from New York all the way to Seattle

15:22 I didn't know one person in Seattle

15:23 But I chased the title and the signing bonus for the new job and I eventually got burnt out

15:28 So I was I was 29 years old and I remember I was you know, I was actually in this meeting

15:35 It's a big pitch and there are 20 executives in there and we're trying to win this client

15:40 My job is to do anything but screw up and right when we're starting I could feel like this anxiety coming over me

15:48 Started to get tight. I was like, oh my god, what's happening? And immediately before the pitch started?

15:53 I was like, can I go to the bathroom and the executive was like what I was like, I gotta go to the bathroom

15:57 He showed me and I run to the bathroom and I closed the door and I pass out right there

16:02 Right in the bathroom floor of a CEO's office and I get back up get my stuff together go back to the meeting room

16:08 But it was a wake-up call for me. I got home that night. I'm like, what was that?

16:12 Through therapy and meeting with psychologists and stuff. I think what I learned is that my entire

16:18 Identity was lived through my career

16:20 So I kind of lost track of who I was

16:23 So I'm in these meetings trying to live up to the expectations of everybody else as opposed to just being me and it was as a result

16:30 Lost myself

16:31 Ironically enough it was around that time. I was really feeling burnt out that of all things

16:36 ABC calls me to go on a reality dating show known as the bachelor

16:43 and so I took a wild leap of faith against what everybody in my circle

16:48 Internally at the bank and externally friends and family and advised and I ended up going on a reality TV dating show

16:55 Go on the show. I came in third came off the show since

16:59 2018 and I quickly learned about this business in digital marketing and content creation and I learned that it is a

17:07 Massive business with huge growth upside. So I went back to the bank and for a year

17:12 I double-dipped working in content creation and in banking and what's crazy is on Instagram

17:18 And I'm very open about money with just you know, at the time it was like three four hundred thousand followers

17:23 I was making much more money than I was as a senior vice president at a bank

17:28 Yeah, so so like at the bank when I signed my deal to go to New York to Seattle. This was in

17:34 2017 it was a hundred ten thousand dollars signing bonus. My base was a hundred sixty five thousand and then based on your production

17:42 Your base could be like two to three X that based on what you produce

17:46 so that could be a half million dollar job plus stock options benefits for one case six percent match dollar for dollar and

17:52 Within the Instagram space. I was making more than that

17:55 And so when it started to outpace I was like, wait a second and not only was it outpacing but you know

18:02 You post a photo for an ad for a brand again back in 2018 and I'm like the margins are disgusting, right?

18:09 So if I got contracted to do deal for thirty thousand dollars for a picture post I had to pay my agent a fee

18:16 Let's just say it's anywhere from ten to twenty percent. The rest of the margin was me. I didn't have much work

18:20 I took a photo I edited it on an app that I bought for three bucks and boom

18:23 I've never seen a business like that. So I dove all into the business

18:27 Building my platforms up but then also learning that I could help other people do it. So it was in 2020

18:33 I started a talent management company

18:36 Yeah building your platform up. How did you learn how to do that? I just dove in and I asked I was a sponge

18:43 I asked everybody I called people on previous seasons

18:46 I called people in other reality shows now that I was on a show and had a stupid blue check mark next to my name

18:52 I knew I could like get the access of individuals in the space. I met with tons of agents like tell me how this works

18:59 I want to understand I would meet with attorneys and take contracts and say hey

19:02 Show me like what I'm missing here and I just dove all into it

19:06 And so it's just a being a sponge and the other thing too and this is such like a an old cliche thing to say

19:12 But when you find something that sparks some kind of passion, you're not viewing it as work. So going all into it

19:19 It was just my curiosities that I was exploring. It wasn't work. It ended up turning into work

19:23 And what I would tell people is people that are lost like within their careers or finding that passion

19:29 Just take a beat and take your notes app and just look at naturally where your time and energy is going

19:34 What shows you watching what podcasts you listen to what news do you read? What type of food do you consume?

19:40 Where when you have free time, do you go when you get little butterflies in your stomach? What is it?

19:44 Is it from partying is it from getting a shot? Is it from sleeping? Is it from going to the library?

19:48 Is it from taking a walk behind all of that our billion-dollar businesses and you can find a career within those businesses

19:54 And so that brings me back to I just had natural passion for it. So today

20:00 What is your highest source of income is it still social media crazy enough? It's still content creation for my brand, right?

20:07 So I have a podcast I have two books and then I create content in the business and lifestyle space

20:12 So that is still the highest margin business for me in my brand

20:17 That's a seven-figure business, but the we have the agency now, which is on track

20:21 You know our goal this year is to do ten million dollars in revenue as everybody knows that owns businesses

20:26 With that type of revenue you have to invest back you want to invest in people so the end of the day income

20:32 Obviously becomes less and less especially when you're bootstrapped and you're growing individually

20:37 But that's a big business that I see like long-term exit like the big money will be there

20:42 And so yeah, that's a little bit about that. So why did you decide to create a business brand?

20:48 Although your personal brand was booming. Yeah, that's a really really good question

20:52 So I got off the show and I got in this deal with Colgate and it was so it was a toothbrush

20:58 Toothpaste deal and so it's great paid great and everything

21:01 Well, there's the next guy that from the next season came off and I joke around and it's the truth

21:06 He's taller than me. He's better looking and he's more jacked, right?

21:09 And so he had more followers when he got off the next reality show

21:12 So Colgate went to him and did a deal and when he did that deal I talked to him because I talked money

21:18 And he got paid more than me and I was like, of course

21:20 He got paid more than me like more relevant has more followers and all the other things I mentioned

21:25 And it was that moment

21:27 I was like if I don't differentiate I will forever be paid less than the next guy and the next girl in the next guy

21:33 In the next guy so I was like I need to tap into what I know best

21:36 I need to tap into how I can differentiate and so the big turning point was in March 2020

21:42 We all know what happens pandemic hits market

21:45 Collapses everything is shut down some mess every headline of every page is

21:49 S&P 500 so I went to my Instagram stories. I just put a poll out. I said be honest with me

21:56 Don't lie. Be honest with me if I ask you right now to tell me what the S&P 500 is. Could you do it and

22:02 Through over three hundred thousand people answered the survey

22:05 91% of them said they couldn't effectively do it. And so it's that moment

22:10 I was like wait, I've ten years in finance and banking and lending I can help people with this new platform sparked by reality TV

22:18 With what I know best and so is that moment? I really started to dive into the personal financial

22:24 Content and then what happened is a couple big banks and credit cards and apps

22:32 They came knocking on my door and they wanted me to do content. Well that content was a lot different, right?

22:37 Maybe we're talking about the differences of structuring an S Corp or Cinella LC

22:41 Maybe we're talking about bonus depreciation when you buy a certain piece of equipment for small business owners

22:46 Maybe we're talking about how

22:48 Individuals can get the best bang for their buck with signing bonuses and where to go for credit cards

22:53 Now if you take those deals and you go to that next, you know lead from the show or whoever they might be

22:58 Nine out of ten times that's not their expertise as a result of that. They might have more followers

23:04 They might be taller faster stronger

23:06 But my rates gonna be more than that because I have a unique differentiated skill set

23:10 And so that's what I realized the importance of niching down to like what you do best

23:15 Yeah, and do you believe in 2024 that strategy still works? Oh, I think it's it's massive

23:22 Yeah, I think I think jack-of-all-trades work is going to be gone before you know it especially with AI

23:28 You need to tap into your gift

23:32 Everyone does because we all have a gift and if you are not locked into that and you're not working on it every single day

23:38 I think in 2024 and beyond you're gonna be left behind like our system is set up to be jack-of-all-trades

23:44 But unfortunately this space can't be and if you learn from history all the people that have achieved outlying success are

23:51 Amazing at one thing. I don't expect everyone to be a legend

23:54 I don't expect everyone to be a massive outlier, but if you could just be above average at one thing

24:00 I think you'll find success and whatever it is that you want to do

24:03 Well, Jason, I'm gonna ask you some money questions that I ask each of my guests. Okay first, where do you put your investments?

24:10 It's a great question

24:11 So I'm stubborn and I for so long was like I know money grandpa Lenny taught me I will manage my portfolio

24:18 I then realized opportunity cost of capital. I don't have enough time to do it. I just don't I don't have enough attention to give it

24:27 So my focus right now is building businesses and providing as much cash

24:31 Inflow as I can and being intelligent with my cash outflow as a result of that majority of my wealth

24:36 I've recognized I have to outsource and so I work with a planner

24:41 And and I was also able to weasel my way into the ultra high net worth group at UBS

24:47 I don't have the net worth to be in that group

24:49 But I was able to you know

24:51 Convince them that I have a network that I should be in their group and they were sold

24:55 Why did I do that? Because they have access to certain investments that retail investors don't as a result of that

25:01 I'll get I'll be able to get into certain funds that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to so I work with them

25:08 I have alternative investments. I have your basic mutual fund investments

25:13 Everything from A to Z and then something I really love doing with

25:17 This whole space of social media is finding equity cash blend deals

25:23 So we know venture and seed investing is massive

25:26 We know that having ownership and small businesses that grow overnight is a huge way to build wealth

25:31 That is faster than anything will pay you from a return on like an S&P 500 fund

25:36 So as a result of that we recognize brand value with people on Instagram and tick-tock and everything else

25:42 So if we can take that and get equity in businesses, we're reducing the risk of cash injection

25:48 We're obviously using our space which creates liability which so you have to make sure it's credible

25:53 But then if we can get a portfolio of a hundred small companies and one of them hits a grand slam

25:58 Now at like a very low risk we became rich overnight. So that's another strategy, too

26:04 Well, what has been your smartest and your dumbest purchase?

26:10 Since being wealthy. Oh, that's so my dumbest purchase was and this is exactly what you should not do is listen to hearsay

26:18 I didn't know enough about the whole NFT space, but I knew it was hot and I heard people buzzin

26:24 And I was more worried about my cash inflow and my cash outflows

26:27 So I heard about one stock and I I will say this I had the cash flow to do it

26:32 So it's not like I risked it all but I put it and I won't blow the stock name up

26:37 But I put money into a stock that was very directly correlated to NFTs and I lost every

26:43 Single penny of that investment Keith is laughing. He's behind the cameras because he knows that stock and I think he was in on it, too

26:50 Oh, it's gone. No, it's gone. The company is gone and it was publicly traded

26:56 Reporters. Oh, so, you know all about it. Well now I do know it coins off the charts

27:01 But as a result of that every single penny was gone

27:04 And my biggest takeaway was that like by the time and I wrote even wrote about in the book by the time it's hearsay

27:10 By the time you hear about it, the markets too efficient. It's already been baked in there are no shortcuts

27:15 There are no secrets to this

27:17 Unless you are literally at the top 1% of 1% of 1% of wealth working at the best hedge funds in the entire planet

27:23 You're not gonna take shortcuts. And if you try to take shortcuts, it's likely that the long-term

27:28 You're gonna get burned as opposed to have a positive return

27:30 So that was kind of like my grandpa Lenny lesson that I learned myself

27:33 That gold rush. Yeah, well the smartest investment or the smartest way you spent money

27:39 Yeah, the smartest thing that I've done as it relates to spending is something I call behavioral based budgeting

27:44 So 21 years old not making that much. I think my first

27:48 2010 like you couldn't get an offer anywhere and I got an offer to work in this bank program and at that time banks weren't

27:55 investing in young talent because literally the mortgage crisis and I got paid

27:58 $45,000 a year living in Syracuse, New York, and I thought I was the man. I'm like, I got a job. I'm in Syracuse

28:07 So every Friday I go out spend money at the bars and rip it and grip it

28:11 well

28:11 I started to recognize cash outflow was getting aggressive and so I started looking at my my

28:16 My last three credit card statements for the previous months and I said, I know I can't drink that much alcohol

28:21 Like how am I spending that much at bars?

28:24 did some further digging and

28:27 Recognized the money I'm spending at bars is actually connected to some things I'm dealing with internally. I

28:34 Just was a senior college captain of the soccer team doing fun things thinking I'm great quite frankly when I got school

28:41 I was lost didn't really know who I was my identity was shaken and I didn't have much confidence and I was very insecure

28:47 So I was the guy at bars saying I got an open bar tab come to me

28:52 I got you

28:53 So I actually recognized through analyzing my spending that I had some internal things I had to work on

28:58 And so I call this behavioral based budgeting

29:01 It's understanding where you spend money and then being self-aware enough to say what behaviors are happening internally that I'm spending that money

29:09 Because doing that allowed me to plug that gap much faster than being like, okay stop spending at bars stop spending at bars

29:15 I think anybody that's listening to this you just take your last three credit card statements

29:19 Give it a glance over take a couple deep breaths and the big purchases think about it

29:25 Was it impulsive were you trying to show off a little bit?

29:30 Are you naturally just a people pleaser and you recognize that you're picking up too many dinner tabs when you need to be splitting it?

29:35 Are you falling victim to the quick email blast that gets you you can start to learn about yourself?

29:41 Understand your behaviors so that your budget in the future will change. So that's like the smartest adjustment

29:47 I think I kind of created on my own from analyzing my spending and then fixing it moving forward

29:52 You see that would have been my last question, but now that you've mentioned kind of, you know, the love piece

29:58 What are your thoughts ongoing have on dates?

30:01 Interesting. I'm naturally when I look at my behaviors, I am a people pleaser

30:07 I've recognized that so I typically especially in like the first dates. I just I I take it I take it

30:14 I'm like I got I got it, but I do feel as though

30:17 Reciprocity is huge, right? So I think for as much as people are giving they should take and vice versa

30:24 I think the big thing though, which connects to the book is like

30:27 Just talk about it, you know, like so suppose I pick up three tabs

30:31 Then the fourth tab now I'm starting to get you. Let's talk a little bit like are you comfortable picking up tabs?

30:36 You know, you know, how do you think we should do this?

30:38 Do you think I should take care of the whole thing in previous relationships? What have you done when you looked up to mom and dad?

30:44 How did they handle money?

30:45 You know

30:46 There's so many things kind of like therapy

30:48 Where things that happen from an early age that we saw we thought were naturally the way to do it with the money

30:53 Situation so I think it just comes back to really talking about it

30:58 I think when you're in a more serious relationship and you have two income earners

31:02 my thought process is take a

31:05 percentage of

31:06 Your aunt or your monthly income put it into a slush fund and use that money and then what you contribute to that slush fund

31:13 I think again you have to customize it appropriately

31:16 But I think should be pro-rata based on what your income is comparative to your partner

31:22 So if you make two times what your partner is you guys decide that every month you're gonna contribute 500 bucks

31:27 You put in two times more than he or she does and then you use that as a fund for fun activities

31:33 Okay, good answer

31:36 Thank you so much for having me absolutely

31:42 You

31:44 You

31:46 You

31:48 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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