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That Way

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Transcript

00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:00:03 Hi.

00:00:07 [MESSAGE CHIMING]

00:00:08 Hi.

00:00:09 Hello.

00:00:10 Hi.

00:00:12 There you are.

00:00:13 What is the deal?

00:00:14 Where is she?

00:00:15 Hair and makeup are doing finals.

00:00:16 She'll be out any minute.

00:00:18 Cue cards?

00:00:19 Really?

00:00:19 She has three lines to remember.

00:00:21 Yeah, but with copy, that's good.

00:00:22 She wants to make sure to really nail it.

00:00:23 I'm sorry.

00:00:24 When the agency wanted that guy who ate all those hot dogs,

00:00:27 it was me who fought for Bella, because I'm

00:00:30 old enough to remember when she was a big deal.

00:00:32 And I thought you were just fresh out of film school.

00:00:36 OK, listen.

00:00:37 Bella is incredibly humbled that you

00:00:39 chose her to represent Oma Wender's Christmas soda.

00:00:44 With no--

00:00:45 That sounds dull.

00:00:46 No, darling.

00:00:47 You are not going to make me wear this Santa hat.

00:00:50 I didn't spend an hour in the chair

00:00:52 so that I could look like someone who just waltzed out

00:00:54 of Deep Discount Depot.

00:00:56 No, no, you look fabulous.

00:01:00 All right, let's get final touches in here.

00:01:04 OK, let's hurry up.

00:01:06 OK, thank you.

00:01:07 Thank you, that's good.

00:01:08 Thank you, excellent.

00:01:09 Gorgeous.

00:01:14 OK, I think we're ready to go.

00:01:16 Ready, Bella?

00:01:18 Action.

00:01:19 Hello, I'm comedian Bella Del Domino,

00:01:23 here to share my favorite holiday treat

00:01:27 from Ardenville's historic craft soda makers, Oma Wenders.

00:01:32 Oh, yes, just like Christmas.

00:01:44 Cut.

00:01:45 Can we take five?

00:01:46 Aubrey, can we just take five?

00:01:49 Five.

00:01:49 Take five.

00:01:50 Hi.

00:01:51 You good?

00:01:53 Let me tell you, when my taste buds grow back.

00:01:56 Well, if you get it in the next take,

00:01:57 you won't have to drink anymore.

00:01:59 I can't do it.

00:02:00 What do you mean you can't?

00:02:03 I'm sober now.

00:02:04 It's not alcoholic.

00:02:06 You're joking.

00:02:07 What do you propose we do?

00:02:09 Fill it up with paint thinner.

00:02:11 It'll go down a lot easier.

00:02:12 Ladies.

00:02:14 Just one second, please.

00:02:15 OK, I can go grab a bucket, and then you can take a sip,

00:02:18 and then you can spit it right out,

00:02:20 and then they can cut to a shot of a bottle or something.

00:02:22 Can you handle that?

00:02:24 OK, but don't you ever say that I never did anything for you.

00:02:28 Well, we don't have all day to go over everything that is

00:02:30 wrong about the sentence you just said.

00:02:32 I'd love to listen to you, darling,

00:02:34 but I'm kind of trapped in that moment.

00:02:36 OK, I, uh, will go speak to the director.

00:02:39 [gasping]

00:02:41 And, uh--

00:02:42 [gasping]

00:02:43 The thing is, when Bella was six years old,

00:02:46 the color green was very triggering for her.

00:02:50 Oh, darlings, thank you so much.

00:02:53 You were all so wonderful to work with.

00:02:56 Oh, now if you ever need tickets to the comedy club,

00:03:00 just reach out to Aubrey, day or night.

00:03:04 Day, please.

00:03:05 Thank you.

00:03:07 OK, we need to get downtown ASAP, OK?

00:03:09 What for?

00:03:11 For the interview, I sent you the questions last night.

00:03:13 Did you pick your favorite Christmas memory?

00:03:15 I can't, because the really good ones, I can't remember.

00:03:18 And the other ones, I'd be breaking an NDA to share them.

00:03:21 What am I going to say?

00:03:22 Bella, you pay me to write your jokes, not your life story.

00:03:25 What about when you were writing my autobiography?

00:03:28 There must be something there.

00:03:29 We didn't get past the chapter on peanuts.

00:03:32 Oh, OK.

00:03:33 You said last Christmas was your favorite ever.

00:03:35 Why don't we work off of something like that?

00:03:37 It was great.

00:03:38 My set just killed.

00:03:39 I booked two late night gigs out of that.

00:03:42 I just want to be more relatable, you know?

00:03:45 I don't want to be all show business-y.

00:03:47 I want to be more ordinary, you know, like you or one of them.

00:03:51 OK, uh-- OK, when I was a kid growing up,

00:03:55 all my cousins, aunts, and uncles,

00:03:56 they would stay over on Christmas Eve

00:03:57 so we could open the gifts together in the morning.

00:03:59 And, oh, this-- this was my time to shine.

00:04:01 And then I--

00:04:02 Aubrey, if you're trying to convince me

00:04:04 to never have children, darling, that ship has sailed.

00:04:08 But Mom actually would stop me at 8 PM

00:04:11 to honor Santa's favorite song, "Silent Night,"

00:04:13 because she said that Santa actually wouldn't

00:04:16 fill my stockings if I played the part of Tiny Tim

00:04:20 after sundown.

00:04:21 And, you know, when I think about it now,

00:04:22 actually, I think she was--

00:04:23 And you know, Santa was right, darling.

00:04:26 Shh!

00:04:27 I'm almost dizzy from listening to you.

00:04:30 Now, make that a whole lot shorter

00:04:33 and a whole lot funnier.

00:04:35 We've got an interview on our hands.

00:04:37 I-- I was, uh, being vulnerable, but--

00:04:41 Oh, yeah.

00:04:42 Yeah, I got the door.

00:04:44 Aubrey?

00:04:46 I really hope those deliveries get here today.

00:04:54 What, all these people performed here?

00:04:57 Yep.

00:04:58 It actually used to be a speakeasy back in the '20s

00:05:00 before becoming a hot spot for comedians.

00:05:03 Mike Baxter?

00:05:04 I love his movies.

00:05:06 Well, the old ones,

00:05:07 before he started playing addicts and fathers.

00:05:09 What? No, I love those.

00:05:11 His comedy's, I don't know,

00:05:12 a little bit too juvenile for me.

00:05:14 Well, that's his early stuff,

00:05:15 right after Saturday's Sketch Club.

00:05:17 With all these people here,

00:05:19 how could you not sell out the Christmas Variety Show?

00:05:22 Because none of these people ever came back to the club.

00:05:24 No, no, they work on their material

00:05:26 on our small suburban stage,

00:05:27 and then they ride off into the sunset.

00:05:31 So, who do you have booked so far?

00:05:34 We've got a couple local bands,

00:05:36 ooh, and a Mark Twain impersonator,

00:05:38 although he says he only does late Twain.

00:05:41 This is not my fault.

00:05:42 Everybody is booked for the holidays.

00:05:45 Hey, cuz, what happens if you don't sell it out?

00:05:47 Well, let's see.

00:05:48 I lose my job, hopes and dreams dashed,

00:05:50 five of the best years of my life wasted,

00:05:52 ooh, and I get to move back in with my mom,

00:05:54 so there's that.

00:05:55 Ooh, yikes.

00:05:57 The club's not that big.

00:05:58 How hard could it be to sell it out?

00:06:00 On Christmas Eve, the one night

00:06:02 where people actually prefer to stay home with their families,

00:06:04 it's not gonna be easy.

00:06:06 Yeah, guess Santa is the only one you ever hear about

00:06:08 leaving his home on Christmas Eve, huh?

00:06:11 Ooh.

00:06:13 You think I'm doomed?

00:06:14 I will start by putting this on the platter.

00:06:16 Oh, actually, do you mind signing for the deliveries,

00:06:19 and then I will manage to get this guy up there.

00:06:22 Yeah.

00:06:23 Okay.

00:06:25 Ooh, you're heavy.

00:06:26 Okay.

00:06:28 All right.

00:06:29 ♪

00:06:36 Two steps left.

00:06:38 Mm, my right, actually.

00:06:40 Spin!

00:06:41 Big spin.

00:06:42 Excellent form.

00:06:44 Will U2 be performing at the open mic on Thursday?

00:06:46 Well, he's a little shy,

00:06:48 because last time he melted in front of...

00:06:50 Uh...

00:06:53 Uh, Mike Baxter.

00:06:55 What are you-- what--

00:06:56 [clears throat]

00:06:57 What are you doing here?

00:06:58 Hi, just seeing if I have a future in choreography.

00:07:00 Hi, Mike.

00:07:01 Hi, what's your name?

00:07:02 Oh, uh, Aubrey Wilson.

00:07:03 Sorry, I didn't--

00:07:04 just, I didn't hear what you were--

00:07:06 No, I'm-- I'm sorry for the frosty dance.

00:07:09 I, uh, I just thought I'd stop by.

00:07:11 This is where I got my big break.

00:07:13 I saw that the--

00:07:14 Mike Baxter?

00:07:15 Is that you, Mike Baxter?

00:07:17 Shouldn't you be out losing millions of dollars

00:07:20 for a studio somewhere?

00:07:21 Bella del Domino.

00:07:23 They told me to take the season off.

00:07:25 Something about chapter 11.

00:07:26 I don't know.

00:07:27 But what brought you back here from the mount?

00:07:29 You know, Christmas is a time for charity,

00:07:31 so I started thinking, "Who do I know that needs help the most?"

00:07:35 And immediately you came to mind.

00:07:36 Oh, still as sweet as ever.

00:07:39 Tell me, how does a guy get stage time these days, huh?

00:07:42 Oh, come on, Mike.

00:07:43 You're a big Hollywood star.

00:07:44 You don't need to be doing stand-up.

00:07:46 It sounds like my agent already got to you.

00:07:48 Well, I'm up for this big action movie,

00:07:50 a superhero thing called Rooster Man.

00:07:54 It's a working title.

00:07:55 Aha!

00:07:56 Will the special effects people--

00:07:57 will they be able to finally make you funny?

00:08:00 [laughs]

00:08:01 Or will they just have you shooting laser beams?

00:08:04 Well, he's a superhero with a sense of humor,

00:08:07 so I thought I'd try to remind Hollywood and you, apparently,

00:08:10 that I'm still hilarious.

00:08:12 Absolutely.

00:08:13 Well, you know, this is not our busiest time of the year, darling,

00:08:15 as you know.

00:08:16 But maybe it will be with you here.

00:08:18 I mean, you're welcome to step on that stage any time, sir.

00:08:22 Well, I really appreciate that.

00:08:24 The competition looks fierce.

00:08:26 I hear she has a line on a fantastic dancing snowman act.

00:08:30 Yes, if he can get over his nerves,

00:08:32 we might really have something.

00:08:34 You guys are trying to make a joke about me.

00:08:36 I don't think it's funny.

00:08:38 Bella, if I was making a joke about you,

00:08:39 I definitely would have mentioned your jewelry.

00:08:41 How does your neck stay up?

00:08:42 Do you have a chiropractor on call?

00:08:44 Mikey, Mikey, you're reminding me,

00:08:47 giving me flashbacks of that day you left for California.

00:08:50 Oh, I was so happy that day.

00:08:53 All right, I got to go.

00:08:54 Nice to meet you, Aubrey.

00:08:56 It is so nice to see you.

00:08:58 Hi.

00:09:00 What the-- howdy.

00:09:02 That was Mike Baxter.

00:09:04 Oh, yeah.

00:09:05 He missed a lot.

00:09:06 How does he know your name?

00:09:08 You are getting the deliveries next time.

00:09:10 Thank you so much for having us.

00:09:12 This is the DRX L.

00:09:14 Hey.

00:09:18 I brought you some coffee.

00:09:19 You're a lifesaver.

00:09:20 Just in time.

00:09:21 Oh, they're starting.

00:09:23 Good evening.

00:09:24 I'm Robert Busby, and we're kicking off

00:09:26 Ardenville's Christmas Fest with our hometown funny lady,

00:09:29 Bella Del Domino, the star and owner

00:09:31 of the legendary Comedy Club.

00:09:33 You know, Christmas is a very special time of the year

00:09:36 for us at the Comedy Club.

00:09:37 We are laughing all the way, and we truly believe

00:09:40 celebrating can be made so much better

00:09:43 with a two-drink minimum.

00:09:44 Remember when I used to interview you in our treehouse

00:09:47 back when you were going to be the world's biggest movie star?

00:09:50 Well, Mom said acting is a hard-knock life.

00:09:53 Everybody wants to be in the movies.

00:09:55 Get a real job, kid.

00:09:56 So I did.

00:09:57 My real job is a joke writer for a woman

00:10:00 who texts with her pointer finger.

00:10:02 Don't sell yourself short.

00:10:03 You're also her personal assistant.

00:10:05 Thanks.

00:10:06 So I couldn't help but notice you've decorated

00:10:08 every inch of the club in string lights,

00:10:10 while your own home looks like a troll cave.

00:10:13 Okay, well, the Comedy Club is my home.

00:10:16 And while being on the road with the comedian herself.

00:10:19 Oh, perfect.

00:10:20 Then I can have your apartment.

00:10:22 Consider it your Christmas gift to me.

00:10:24 Actually, if I remember correctly,

00:10:26 my Christmas present was getting you this job,

00:10:28 and you should pay attention,

00:10:29 because you could learn a lot from Bella.

00:10:31 I'm learning a lot more from you.

00:10:33 She might be the face, but you're the talent.

00:10:36 No, I can't do what Bella does.

00:10:39 I'm way too shy for that now.

00:10:42 You can handle it.

00:10:43 No, the Comedy Club has a legacy.

00:10:45 Okay, Bella saved it from a bulldozer.

00:10:47 Do you know how many legends have performed there?

00:10:50 It's launched, I don't know, a thousand careers.

00:10:54 And that woman, she did that.

00:10:56 And I saw this as an opportunity to dance and sing

00:11:00 and say jokes that I'd learned off the TV.

00:11:04 What about your career?

00:11:05 Haven't you ever considered getting out on that stage?

00:11:08 I love writing, I do.

00:11:09 And Bella promised to introduce me

00:11:11 to some of her literary agent friends.

00:11:13 So I will get to a writer's room.

00:11:16 There's a ladder to climb.

00:11:18 It's been five years.

00:11:20 Maybe start looking for an elevator?

00:11:22 Tell us, what's your favorite Christmas memory?

00:11:25 Well, oddly enough, Robert,

00:11:26 it's also the beginning of my comedy career.

00:11:29 I still remember to this day, just like it was yesterday,

00:11:32 when I got my first laugh.

00:11:34 It was my mother.

00:11:35 Of course, it would have been a whole lot better

00:11:37 if it hadn't been Mom.

00:11:38 At least she gave your story a happy ending.

00:11:41 I did that.

00:11:42 Yeah, one of the perks of being a writer

00:11:45 is that you never need therapy

00:11:46 if you can just change the ending.

00:11:48 Now, we're happy to hear that the Comedy Club

00:11:51 is partnering with Oma Wenders

00:11:52 to not only sponsor Ardenville's Christmas Fest,

00:11:55 but to bring back the variety show.

00:11:57 It's been a while since the Comedy Club hosted.

00:11:59 Yes, it has.

00:12:01 Eight years since you've hosted.

00:12:03 She's looking at me.

00:12:04 Yes, yes, yes, it has.

00:12:06 Who will be performing at the big show?

00:12:09 Um, well, Christmas is full of surprises, isn't it?

00:12:14 So I don't want to say too much too soon.

00:12:17 Very true.

00:12:18 Well, Christmas is still three weeks away,

00:12:20 so we're going to be following up with you.

00:12:22 But until then, we hope to see you

00:12:23 at all the holiday events around town.

00:12:25 Oh, I hope so too.

00:12:27 Is that good for you?

00:12:28 You didn't tell her about the variety show?

00:12:31 Nope.

00:12:32 And you thought that was a good idea?

00:12:33 At the time, yes.

00:12:34 Not so much anymore, no.

00:12:40 The Comedy Club is sponsoring the Christmas Fest

00:12:44 and the Christmas variety show.

00:12:46 You know why we had to nix that years ago, don't you?

00:12:49 Because nobody wants to leave their house on Christmas Eve.

00:12:53 And we would have to sell out the entire show

00:12:56 just to break even.

00:12:58 Yeah, but the show, the show was legendary.

00:13:00 It launched so many careers.

00:13:01 And all those network execs and studio heads,

00:13:04 I mean, they all used to celebrate Christmas at the club.

00:13:07 That was back in the day of covered wagons

00:13:09 when there were only three TV networks.

00:13:11 Well, you finally agreed to sponsor the Christmas Fest.

00:13:14 I just, I assumed that the variety show was part of it.

00:13:18 The city is so excited, Bella.

00:13:20 This is a Christmas tragedy.

00:13:22 I don't have to go to any of those events

00:13:24 just because I'm sponsoring them, do I?

00:13:27 Well, you are a beloved local celebrity.

00:13:30 I'm sure you're going to have to go--

00:13:31 Local, Aubrey?

00:13:33 I think I have a little more range than local, Aubrey.

00:13:36 Of course.

00:13:37 So, just cancel it.

00:13:38 Bella, the comedy club has to show up to some key events,

00:13:41 and we also have to donate the proceeds

00:13:44 of the variety show to a charity.

00:13:46 What charity?

00:13:47 Children's Hospital.

00:13:49 The one charity I can't back out of.

00:13:53 Okay, we can invite industry bigwigs.

00:13:56 Maybe even your agent literary friends,

00:13:59 you know, the ones that you promised to introduce me to.

00:14:02 It'll be great.

00:14:03 The variety show almost destroyed my career

00:14:06 and brought the comedy club down.

00:14:08 What happened?

00:14:09 I remember the first Christmas.

00:14:10 I was so excited to be part of it,

00:14:12 but I had no idea then how difficult it was

00:14:16 to sell out a show on Christmas Eve.

00:14:19 Yeah, but we can send out industry invitations today.

00:14:21 We can publicize it on our social media.

00:14:24 We can tell everybody, and it's going to be great.

00:14:27 We can sell out.

00:14:28 Industry bigwigs do not laugh.

00:14:31 And the few local people who showed up,

00:14:33 they couldn't carry this show.

00:14:35 There wasn't enough of them.

00:14:37 Oh, I totally bombed.

00:14:39 I can't tell you how many gigs I missed

00:14:42 because of that Christmas variety concert,

00:14:45 and I've been trying to crawl my way back ever since.

00:14:49 Yeah, you're right.

00:14:52 This is on me, and I will fix it.

00:14:55 I'll think of something.

00:14:56 Good.

00:14:57 Chop, chop.

00:14:58 Yeah.

00:15:04 They published another list of all the young actresses

00:15:07 you've dated?

00:15:08 Do you know how often I have to convince people

00:15:10 that my brother's not a creep?

00:15:11 Are the influencers on that list too,

00:15:13 or just the actresses?

00:15:14 Look, I've never even met half the women on this list,

00:15:18 okay, except for Margot.

00:15:20 I'm kidding.

00:15:21 I have moved on from all that, okay?

00:15:25 Enough professional faceplants,

00:15:26 and your priorities start to change.

00:15:28 Yeah, well, your career will bounce back.

00:15:30 Don't be so hard on yourself.

00:15:32 Those movies were pretentious, exploitative, never-ending.

00:15:37 Oh!

00:15:38 But don't get me wrong, you're really great in them.

00:15:40 Oh, thank you.

00:15:41 That's really sweet of you.

00:15:43 And two eggnogs and two cinnamon rolls, please.

00:15:51 Thank you.

00:15:52 So much.

00:15:53 I gotta go.

00:15:54 Text me when you're done shopping.

00:15:56 Yeah.

00:15:58 [door opens]

00:16:00 [music]

00:16:02 Good morning.

00:16:08 Good morning.

00:16:09 I saw you while I was in line

00:16:10 and thought you might need some eggnog.

00:16:12 Don't worry, it's not alcoholic.

00:16:14 Although I did see a few people throw caution to the wind

00:16:17 at 9am on a Tuesday.

00:16:18 No, thank you.

00:16:19 I've already had my cup of heavy cream this morning.

00:16:21 Were you always this prickly,

00:16:22 or did Bella drain all the Christmas spirit from you?

00:16:25 Okay, now you've put me in a position

00:16:27 where I'm some grinch just because I don't want your eggnog.

00:16:29 Has her heart shrunk to full sizes?

00:16:33 For Christmas.

00:16:35 And so you'll leave me alone.

00:16:37 What's in there?

00:16:42 Oh, nothing.

00:16:43 Just, uh, thoughts, ideas, jokes.

00:16:48 You're a comic?

00:16:50 You seem so well-adjusted.

00:16:52 A writer for Bella.

00:16:53 And you never wanted to get on stage yourself?

00:16:56 Once upon a time.

00:16:57 And then what happened?

00:16:58 Someone threw a tomato too hard once?

00:17:00 My words are much better coming out of Bella's mouth.

00:17:02 Well, as someone who has spent years saying someone else's words,

00:17:05 I am thrilled to speak for myself again.

00:17:09 You don't enjoy movies.

00:17:11 Bella would kill for your career.

00:17:12 She would commit battery for a callback.

00:17:14 The money's okay,

00:17:15 but what I'm really in it for is the constant public scrutiny.

00:17:19 That's why I love a comedy club.

00:17:20 The scrutiny is much more intimate.

00:17:22 Yeah, well, forgive me if I don't shed a tear for the successful actor

00:17:26 up for an action hero of the film.

00:17:28 If you tell me what's in your notebook, I'll try to forgive you.

00:17:34 Well, the tree lighting ceremony is tonight.

00:17:37 They're Christmas jokes, just to kick off the festivities.

00:17:40 Oh, great.

00:17:42 This is great.

00:17:43 Let's, let's hear one.

00:17:45 No.

00:17:46 Yes.

00:17:47 No, you're my, you're my backstory.

00:17:49 I could, I could never read them to you.

00:17:51 No, no, no, no, no.

00:17:52 Don't think of me as Mike Baxter, the comic.

00:17:55 Think of me as the guy who's sitting next to you

00:17:57 and desperately loves jokes.

00:17:59 Very persuasive.

00:18:02 Okay.

00:18:04 I have this bit about how my mother is impossible to buy presents for.

00:18:07 So this year, I actually asked her to tell me what she wants,

00:18:10 and what she wants, I can't seem to find anywhere.

00:18:13 And, well, the punchline is that what she wants most

00:18:16 is for me to find better health insurance.

00:18:20 That's good.

00:18:21 Yeah.

00:18:22 That's good.

00:18:23 What if you somehow got hurt while you're searching for it?

00:18:27 Like, sprained my ankle.

00:18:29 Yeah, at least you think you did.

00:18:31 You're too worried to go to the doctor to find out.

00:18:33 You sure?

00:18:34 You want to be an action hero because comedy suits you pretty well.

00:18:37 Well, the rooster man is funny.

00:18:40 He's funny.

00:18:41 See, you've just heard the name and you're already laughing.

00:18:48 Oh, it's Bella. I better go.

00:18:50 Right now? What, is the club on fire?

00:18:53 No, the comedy club's closed.

00:18:55 That right there is the star of the town tonight.

00:18:58 Oh, this is why I love Christmas.

00:19:00 People coming together just to watch a switch get flipped.

00:19:02 Yeah, it's beautiful.

00:19:03 I'll be there. Front row.

00:19:06 Back row? What?

00:19:07 I just, I don't want Bella to get upstage.

00:19:09 I will be incognito. I promise.

00:19:12 Like the rooster man?

00:19:14 Hmm.

00:19:15 I don't actually know what his deal is.

00:19:17 Is he the one with the laser thingies or is he invisible?

00:19:20 Well, he's a rooster, so he has razor sharp talons

00:19:23 and he can more like glide short distances.

00:19:26 Don't forget, he's funny.

00:19:27 He is a grown man with talons.

00:19:29 Claire.

00:19:30 Oh, you forgot your, uh...

00:19:32 Eggnog.

00:19:33 I'll see you tonight.

00:19:35 Hey, maybe you will, maybe you won't.

00:19:37 Good news. We just secured an improv group for the talent show.

00:19:45 Amazing. Second city.

00:19:48 Cook County Technical Institute, but the good news is

00:19:51 they said they'd work for drinks.

00:19:52 That puts us at four acts only.

00:19:55 We still need a headliner.

00:19:56 Bella, right?

00:19:58 No, she said she would rather apologize for second husband

00:20:01 than go up during the variety show.

00:20:02 What about Mike Baxter?

00:20:04 Ian, he's an award nominated actor.

00:20:06 I mean, there were Golden Universe Awards or whatever,

00:20:09 but no, he's not doing her show.

00:20:11 Okay, I want you guys to tell me the truth.

00:20:14 Is this true, Santa baby?

00:20:17 Eartha Kitt wishes.

00:20:19 Oh, hubby, who's your friend?

00:20:22 This is Ian, my cousin.

00:20:23 You hired him a month ago.

00:20:25 Oh, and I would hire him again.

00:20:28 In a heartbeat.

00:20:30 You look ravishing, as always.

00:20:32 But I think that outfit might be a bit too much for tonight.

00:20:35 It's pretty cold outside. It's going to be freezing.

00:20:37 What are you talking about?

00:20:38 The gala is at the police museum.

00:20:41 No, no, no. No.

00:20:42 You are introing the tree lighting tonight.

00:20:44 I sent you the jokes yesterday.

00:20:46 I thought that was just banter for the Italian beef hour at the gala.

00:20:51 Besides, it's not like I didn't tell you.

00:20:53 The Christmas fest is a really big deal, Bella.

00:20:56 If you saw the names of the people on that list, Aubrey,

00:21:00 you wouldn't be making such a fuss.

00:21:02 It's just a lot of people are relying on you to be there.

00:21:05 And I'm relying on myself to start networking.

00:21:08 I mean, why aren't I in those superhero movies?

00:21:11 What do you think? I can't play a chicken or a--

00:21:15 Or a sultry supervillain bent on revenge?

00:21:18 Oh, Aubrey, how much are we paying this delightful young man?

00:21:23 Very little.

00:21:24 [phone rings]

00:21:25 Oh, it's my manager.

00:21:27 Okay, fix that tree thing.

00:21:29 Remember, I believe in you.

00:21:31 And you stay right where you are.

00:21:34 Hello.

00:21:36 Thanks for encouraging her.

00:21:37 Thank you.

00:21:38 [laughs]

00:21:39 It's a bummer nobody will hear your jokes tonight.

00:21:49 Oh, well, I'll have plenty more opportunities before Christmas.

00:21:53 Why doesn't Bella invite you to her party so you can meet all her agent friends?

00:21:57 Oh, she says bringing her assistant as her plus one

00:22:00 will make it seem like she can't get a date.

00:22:02 I just met her, and she seems incredible,

00:22:04 but seems like she dangles a carrot to keep you behind the scenes.

00:22:08 No, she supports my career.

00:22:09 'Cause it supports hers.

00:22:11 Next year will be different.

00:22:12 She knows how much this means to me.

00:22:14 And it's not like I don't enjoy my job.

00:22:17 You're a talented cousin.

00:22:19 I just want to see you hit it big time and not be a ghostwriter forever.

00:22:23 Thank you.

00:22:24 What's the deal with Bella?

00:22:25 Oh, uh, she sends her apologies, but her dog was sick

00:22:31 and then got better and then got adopted, so she had to deal with that.

00:22:35 But it all--it all ended up working out.

00:22:37 I told Brittany at City Hall this afternoon.

00:22:39 Well, she must have forgotten to tell me,

00:22:41 because in ten minutes I'm emceeing this thing,

00:22:43 and I haven't even started my vocal warm-ups.

00:22:45 I'm sure your elocution will be spot on.

00:22:47 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

00:22:49 Well, obviously we need someone to perform, and that's gonna be you.

00:22:52 Me? No. No, no, no, no, no.

00:22:55 I'm a nobody. No. No.

00:22:57 Well, that's what I told them, but my hands are tied.

00:22:59 They're your jokes. Do it for Christmas.

00:23:01 No, they won't be the same. I don't have Bella's delivery.

00:23:04 I--I haven't done my vocal warm-ups either, so...

00:23:07 You can do it. Yeah.

00:23:08 Well, whether you can or can't, it's happening.

00:23:10 You're on in two minutes.

00:23:11 Two minutes.

00:23:12 I think I'm gonna throw up.

00:23:16 I'll go do soundcheck.

00:23:18 Yes.

00:23:19 You got this.

00:23:20 Yeah. Okay.

00:23:21 Yes, I'm gonna do it.

00:23:23 It's me. It's Mike.

00:23:27 Yeah, I know.

00:23:28 Mike Baxter.

00:23:29 Why not look incognito?

00:23:33 No, you look like Mike Baxter, but in sunglasses.

00:23:35 Where's Bella? Isn't she about to go on?

00:23:39 I'm filling in. It's the whole thing.

00:23:41 Wait!

00:23:42 No! No, no, it's not great.

00:23:43 Nobody knows who I am.

00:23:45 Now nobody knows who you are.

00:23:49 Now I'm just the same nobody, but in sunglasses.

00:23:52 Look, you're gonna be--you're gonna be great.

00:23:54 Okay?

00:23:55 Just go out there and have some fun with it.

00:23:57 They'll know you the next time.

00:23:59 Okay.

00:24:00 Please welcome to the stage--

00:24:01 Oh, no.

00:24:02 Okay, no, no, no, you're not going anywhere.

00:24:04 You got this.

00:24:05 Okay.

00:24:06 You got this.

00:24:07 From our beloved comedy club, Aubrey Wilson!

00:24:10 Hi.

00:24:14 Good luck up here. They wouldn't give me an inch.

00:24:15 Okay.

00:24:16 That's my time.

00:24:17 Hello.

00:24:20 Merry Christmas, everybody.

00:24:22 Oh, I forgot to move this out of the way.

00:24:27 Arden Mill!

00:24:28 Merry Christmas.

00:24:29 Merry Christmas.

00:24:30 As Robert said, I do, in fact, work for the historic comedy club.

00:24:34 You all look a little confused, and you know what?

00:24:36 I am just as confused as you are.

00:24:38 Yeah, the more observant in the audience may have noticed.

00:24:41 I am not, in fact, Bella Del Domino.

00:24:43 Was it my bouncy, radiant skin that gave it away?

00:24:47 What?

00:24:48 No?

00:24:49 Um, well, can we give it up for the comedy club?

00:24:53 Yeah!

00:24:54 Yeah, yeah, I've been there for about five years,

00:24:56 performing duties as, to quote my business card, crypt keeper.

00:25:01 Our hallowed halls are lined with photographs of famous,

00:25:05 legendary comedians who have graced our stage over the years.

00:25:09 They are icons, the real who's who of Hollywood,

00:25:13 as in, uh, who's that again?

00:25:16 Uh, well, does anybody have someone in their life

00:25:22 that is just impossible to buy presents for?

00:25:25 Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella!

00:25:31 Uh, my mother, she is one of those people.

00:25:35 I love my mother, but she's just--

00:25:37 Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella! Bella!

00:25:41 Oh, Mike Baxter, what are you doing here?

00:25:45 Mike Baxter!

00:25:48 Hi there, I was just enjoying your set,

00:25:50 and it suddenly occurred to me

00:25:52 that I'm pretty sure my picture is hanging on the walls

00:25:55 of the comedy club.

00:25:56 No, no, no, no, allow me to clarify.

00:25:58 Yes, please, please clarify.

00:25:59 My earlier joke for no relevance to the defendant.

00:26:02 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:26:04 A different word.

00:26:05 The all-around innocent--

00:26:07 Innocent, that's-- we like that one.

00:26:09 Michael Baxter!

00:26:11 [cheering]

00:26:13 You can get off my stage now.

00:26:16 [cheering]

00:26:18 And don't forget, tickets are on sale

00:26:20 for the variety show "Christmas Eve" at the comedy club.

00:26:24 [cheering]

00:26:26 [laughing]

00:26:28 You really saved me up there.

00:26:29 Oh, come on, it's just tough to deal with hecklers.

00:26:31 But that was great, that was fun, right?

00:26:33 That was fun.

00:26:34 That was incredible.

00:26:35 I was so scared you were gonna bomb,

00:26:37 I almost passed out.

00:26:38 Uh, Mike, this is Ian, my very supportive cousin

00:26:41 who always believes in me.

00:26:42 I'm such a big fan, especially of your recent work.

00:26:46 Oh, that scene where you forgave yourself

00:26:48 for not forgiving your son for never forgiving you.

00:26:53 I felt that.

00:26:56 Well, he's a liar, but I like him.

00:26:58 Oma Wenders on the house.

00:27:01 Sponsors of the event.

00:27:02 And Mr. Baxter, I'm really hoping we see you and Belle

00:27:05 at some of our other holiday events.

00:27:07 Sure, count me in anything Christmas.

00:27:09 This is gonna be the best Christmas fest

00:27:11 Ardenville has ever seen.

00:27:12 It's time for the tree lighting.

00:27:14 Oh, we're missing the switch getting flipped.

00:27:17 Okay.

00:27:19 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

00:27:27 [cheering]

00:27:32 [music]

00:27:36 [coughing]

00:27:38 Oh my God, what is this?

00:27:41 Oma Wenders.

00:27:42 Oh, it'll get easier the more you drink.

00:27:44 Oh, it's spicy.

00:27:46 Oh, it burns.

00:27:48 I like it now, though.

00:27:51 Just take out those two words there.

00:27:54 Oh, I heard you and Mike were quite a hit

00:27:57 at the Christmas tree lighting ceremony.

00:27:59 You know, it's hard for me to picture you on stage.

00:28:02 It's really not in your wheelhouse, is it?

00:28:05 We had to promote the variety show.

00:28:07 Yeah, the ticket sales haven't been great.

00:28:09 Well, you're lucky to have some star power with you.

00:28:12 How did it work?

00:28:14 Well, we sold more tickets, and acts are calling us now,

00:28:18 which means we can finally hold auditions.

00:28:20 No, I mean, how did it work, your performance?

00:28:22 You know, I mean, your writing skills are stellar.

00:28:26 But sometimes stage work, it requires a more

00:28:30 commanding presence.

00:28:32 Well, Mike had enough presence for the both of us.

00:28:35 Oh, well, I'm happy that it went well for you,

00:28:38 but you know, it could just be beginner's luck,

00:28:40 so you don't want to get too overconfident about it.

00:28:43 I mean, you're used to seeing me kill on stage,

00:28:46 so you might forget how embarrassing it could be

00:28:49 if the whole thing fell flat.

00:28:51 Well, you can dazzle audiences

00:28:53 in the Christmas Village walk-through.

00:28:55 Oh, no.

00:28:57 Where's the drama?

00:28:59 It's too pedestrian.

00:29:01 No, you're not walking, you're interacting with people

00:29:03 as they walk through, and from what I'm told,

00:29:05 you are playing a significant Christmas legend.

00:29:08 Oh, that sounds more like it.

00:29:10 Bella Del Domino, Christmas legend.

00:29:13 There you go.

00:29:15 You're going to come with me, right?

00:29:17 Because, I mean, in case I need to change the script,

00:29:19 I mean, I need you there.

00:29:21 Of course, I will be there, as always.

00:29:23 But you are a guest on a podcast next week,

00:29:25 so let's focus on that next, okay?

00:29:27 ♪ Christmas is a curious,

00:29:29 ♪ and it makes me dream too weird.

00:29:32 Writing away?

00:29:34 Reminds me of when you were a kid,

00:29:36 always lost in your notebook.

00:29:38 Well, except I'm not getting grounded

00:29:40 for ignoring my homework.

00:29:42 I haven't felt this creative in a really long time.

00:29:44 Well, I made you some mint tea

00:29:46 for helping me bring the girls to school.

00:29:48 Aw, thank you.

00:29:50 Wait, school? I could have sworn you said racetrack.

00:29:52 I really appreciate you

00:29:54 for letting me crash at your place.

00:29:56 We love having you.

00:29:58 I mean, I wish you could have stayed with us last year,

00:30:00 you and, um, Jessica.

00:30:02 Football player.

00:30:04 Then left him when his team lost in the playoffs.

00:30:06 I think she has commitment issues.

00:30:08 Mm, that's one way to put it.

00:30:10 Well, she would have never stayed.

00:30:12 And that bed is awful.

00:30:14 You said you slept well.

00:30:16 I did-- I said that, but I lied.

00:30:18 But hanging with family is worth the kink in my neck.

00:30:20 [inhales]

00:30:22 And the nagging in my ear.

00:30:24 Yeah, well, just think, if you had a family of your own,

00:30:26 you'd be able to experience this kind of torture every day.

00:30:28 I do want a family someday.

00:30:30 It just hasn't been right.

00:30:32 I have time.

00:30:34 Mm-hmm.

00:30:36 [clears throat]

00:30:38 Sorry, one second.

00:30:40 Hey, Damon.

00:30:42 Is he on or isn't he? Brandon, is he on?

00:30:44 Oh, he's on. Hi, Damon.

00:30:46 Mikey, my favorite client.

00:30:48 Sorry about that. I had this new assistant forwarding calls,

00:30:50 and it's just been a mess.

00:30:52 Right, you know, you could try being a little more gentle.

00:30:54 What are you, my last assistant?

00:30:56 Listen, okay, I'm calling to let you know

00:30:58 that things are going well with Rooster, okay?

00:31:00 We have an offer?

00:31:02 Well, not an offer, per se, but they do want you to come back in

00:31:04 and read with the guy who's doing the voice for...

00:31:06 What's the name of that talking cow again?

00:31:08 Um...Agent Bovine.

00:31:10 Yes, that's the one.

00:31:12 By the way, they're going crazy for your Christmas set

00:31:14 they did with that woman.

00:31:16 They were thinking about rewriting the cow and rooster relationship

00:31:18 to have the same banter, you know what I mean?

00:31:20 They saw that? Everyone's seen it.

00:31:22 How is it possible that my own mother knows more about social media

00:31:24 than you do?

00:31:26 I mean, she's a huge fan of your show.

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00:43:06 Well, that is so sweet of you to give her a platform at Christmas.

00:43:10 She is clearly a rising talent.

00:43:12 She is clearly a rising talent.

00:43:14 She may not be your assistant for long.

00:43:16 Aubrey, say something into the mic quick.

00:43:24 Aubrey, say something into the mic quick.

00:43:26 Hey, how was the podcast?

00:43:28 Well, good. Insightful.

00:43:30 I had no idea that the club was causing such a buzz on the internet.

00:43:34 Yeah, having Mike around helps a lot.

00:43:36 Yeah, of course it does. He's a big star.

00:43:38 Yeah, of course it does. He's a big star.

00:43:40 So, Aubrey, how are tickets going for the variety show?

00:43:42 So, Aubrey, how are tickets going for the variety show?

00:43:44 Um, okay. I think as soon as I secure a headliner, then things should really pick up.

00:43:48 Yeah, it's tough. I know.

00:43:50 I'll tell you, I won't perform, but I will host.

00:43:54 I'll tell you, I won't perform, but I will host.

00:43:56 Sure. Yeah, I think everybody will love that.

00:43:58 Sure. Yeah, I think everybody will love that.

00:44:00 I know they will.

00:44:02 Yes, if the Christmas fest needs me, I'll be there.

00:44:04 Yes, if the Christmas fest needs me, I'll be there.

00:44:06 Does this mean you'll be attending other events?

00:44:08 What's next?

00:44:10 Twinkle Tunnel.

00:44:12 Ah, is there an audience?

00:44:14 No, it's a tunnel, but there will be at the Snowball Social, which is right afterwards.

00:44:16 Okay, you can count on me. I'll be there with a costume on.

00:44:18 Okay, you can count on me. I'll be there with a costume on.

00:44:20 Now, Aubrey, I don't want you filling in for me any longer, darling.

00:44:22 Now, Aubrey, I don't want you filling in for me any longer, darling.

00:44:24 I can tell by the state of your under eyes that you are working way, way, way too hard.

00:44:26 I can tell by the state of your under eyes that you are working way, way, way too hard.

00:44:28 I can tell by the state of your under eyes that you are working way, way, way too hard.

00:44:30 Now, and I'll need new material.

00:44:32 Now, and I'll need new material.

00:44:34 For tonight.

00:44:36 That is what I pay you for, isn't it?

00:44:38 Not to be prancing around on stage flirting with Mike Baxter.

00:44:40 Not to be prancing around on stage flirting with Mike Baxter.

00:44:42 Yes, I will send you some new stuff this afternoon.

00:44:44 Excellent. See that you do.

00:44:46 Excellent. See that you do.

00:44:48 Well, that was a sudden change of heart.

00:44:50 Well, that was a sudden change of heart.

00:44:52 No, no, I've seen this before.

00:44:54 When her last husband remarried,

00:44:56 she made me send all these fake rumors to tabloids and stuff.

00:44:58 she made me send all these fake rumors to tabloids and stuff.

00:45:00 She must think Mike's performing at the variety show.

00:45:02 She must think Mike's performing at the variety show.

00:45:04 Oh, it's too late now.

00:45:06 We've got some auditions to watch, so I'm going to think about what to do with that later.

00:45:08 We've got some auditions to watch, so I'm going to think about what to do with that later.

00:45:10 I really think you should try and beatbox. I think you could do it.

00:45:12 Oh, absolutely.

00:45:14 Yeah, you could.

00:45:16 Sorry I'm late. This is my sister, Steph.

00:45:18 This is Aubrey. This is Ian.

00:45:20 Mike said you wouldn't mind if I watched?

00:45:22 I told her we were judging people and she forced me to bring her.

00:45:24 I'm not mad at all. Please take a seat.

00:45:26 I'm not mad at all. Please take a seat.

00:45:28 Oh, wow.

00:45:30 I like your sweater.

00:45:32 It's got a nice outfit.

00:45:34 Thank you. Aubrey, I love you.

00:45:36 I really, really love you.

00:45:38 I really, really love you.

00:45:40 I really appreciate you.

00:45:42 I really appreciate you.

00:45:44 I really appreciate you.

00:45:46 Can I start again?

00:45:48 Sure, you can try again.

00:45:50 One more try.

00:45:52 Keep taking lessons.

00:45:54 This is theater.

00:45:56 My name,

00:45:58 meaningless.

00:46:00 Oh, thank you.

00:46:04 I'm a poet.

00:46:06 The club, chicken club,

00:46:08 turkey club,

00:46:10 comedy club,

00:46:12 one, two, three,

00:46:14 Christmas tree,

00:46:16 Aubrey, you, and me.

00:46:18 Oh, oh.

00:46:20 Oh, oh.

00:46:22 Oh.

00:46:24 Let's start again. Thank you.

00:46:26 Thank you.

00:46:28 I got one more.

00:46:30 You tell Luka to sing.

00:46:32 Luka's a method actor.

00:46:34 Oh, no, no.

00:46:36 It's going to be okay.

00:46:38 Nice.

00:46:40 Yeah.

00:46:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:44 I love the juggler always.

00:46:46 The juggler might have been my favorite.

00:46:48 I want to thank you guys for letting me put my judgmental skills to good use.

00:46:52 Let me know if you want tickets.

00:46:54 Oh, I would, but my husband gets home on Christmas Eve,

00:46:56 and we have this tradition of dinner and movies,

00:47:00 by which I mean takeout and fighting over what movie to watch.

00:47:02 I guess most people are staying home on Christmas Eve instead of buying tickets, so...

00:47:06 You'll get your audience.

00:47:08 Yeah, hopefully we will with these new acts.

00:47:10 Anyway, we should get back.

00:47:12 It's open mic night.

00:47:14 Good. I'll see you tonight.

00:47:16 Really?

00:47:18 Yeah, but keep it a secret.

00:47:20 I want an unsuspecting audience.

00:47:22 See you tonight.

00:47:24 See ya.

00:47:26 Christmas dads hold court.

00:47:34 We're the ones who have a direct line to Santa.

00:47:36 Kids must laugh at our jokes, right?

00:47:38 Who's never hungry at Christmas?

00:47:42 I don't know.

00:47:44 Me! 'Cause he's always stuffed!

00:47:46 Oh, come on.

00:47:48 Remember, who's got the line to Santa?

00:47:50 Please, please, be nice, folks.

00:47:52 All right, let's...

00:47:54 By the way, my name is Jeremy.

00:47:56 Open mic is tough.

00:47:58 Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

00:48:00 That's why I always stay behind the scenes.

00:48:02 Okay!

00:48:04 Let's all give it up for Jeremy!

00:48:08 Jeremy!

00:48:10 Good for you, Jeremy!

00:48:12 Okay, stand up back.

00:48:14 Have a drink.

00:48:16 Our next comic will be coming up any minute.

00:48:18 Hey, how's the audience tonight?

00:48:20 Ooh, somewhere between gazpacho and room temp.

00:48:22 Right where I like 'em.

00:48:24 You're not nervous?

00:48:26 I mean, this is your first stand-up in years.

00:48:28 I'm excited.

00:48:30 I just hope they remember who I am.

00:48:32 Or at least forget my last movie.

00:48:34 They'll love you.

00:48:36 Why don't you go up there and shine, superstar?

00:48:38 All right, pretend to laugh no matter what.

00:48:40 Pretend to laugh no matter what.

00:48:42 That's sick.

00:48:48 Can we get some light, please?

00:48:50 [cheers and applause]

00:48:52 Stop it. Thank you. Thank you.

00:48:54 Very kind. Please. Stop.

00:48:56 All right, keep it going. Keep it going.

00:48:58 So, at Christmas, people talk about the parties,

00:49:00 the presents, the food.

00:49:02 But nobody talks about the weird Christmas liqueurs.

00:49:08 ♪ Come and drink your weird Christmas liqueurs ♪

00:49:12 ♪ It's like they mix vegetables with some menthol ♪

00:49:16 ♪ It tastes a lot like Pepto-Bismol ♪

00:49:20 ♪ Weird Christmas liqueurs ♪

00:49:24 ♪ Cherry, eggnog, pumpkin spice ♪

00:49:28 ♪ Before you drink it, I would think twice ♪

00:49:32 ♪ Don't give me a peppermint matcha schnapps ♪

00:49:36 ♪ I'll drink the whole shot and it gave me the crops ♪

00:49:40 ♪ Weird Christmas liqueurs ♪

00:49:43 ♪ Next year I'll say no, thank you ♪

00:49:48 [cheers and applause]

00:49:52 Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a big problem here.

00:49:55 It's a problem that has plagued humanity for a very long time.

00:50:02 Unh, unh, unh.

00:50:05 ♪ Should I buy a fake tree or the real thing? ♪

00:50:08 ♪ A pine tree has a lot of needles to clean ♪

00:50:11 ♪ I'm not saying that a real tree ain't jingling ♪

00:50:14 ♪ But do I want to do the extra work and everything? ♪

00:50:17 ♪ I only have a six-foot ceiling ♪

00:50:20 ♪ My vacuum will start squealing ♪

00:50:23 ♪ I'm not saying that a real tree ain't healing ♪

00:50:26 ♪ But suddenly a fake one sounds appealing ♪

00:50:29 ♪ I don't want to be a bridge to anyone ♪

00:50:32 ♪ But I bet even Santa has a fake one ♪

00:50:35 ♪ I'm not saying that a real tree ain't fun ♪

00:50:38 ♪ But this year I'm going with a fake ♪

00:50:40 ♪ Don't judge, son ♪

00:50:42 All right, I'm getting a fake tree this year, it's settled.

00:50:45 Thank you for having me back.

00:50:47 [cheers and applause]

00:50:50 - Well, wasn't that a triumphant return to our stage?

00:50:55 Mr. Mike Baxter!

00:50:57 - Hey, what's new? - Hey, I just got off stage.

00:51:00 Oh, man, it felt so good to be back.

00:51:03 - Excellent. I'm actually on my way to a Christmas party tonight,

00:51:06 but I wanted to tell you the Bridges Seminar are catching fire!

00:51:09 - Oh, that's great, but this--this felt right.

00:51:12 - You know, I think we should start a tour, maybe a special.

00:51:17 - Sure, after you land Rooster,

00:51:19 then you have carte blanche in Hollywood.

00:51:21 - Well, right, but I may not get it.

00:51:23 - Well, my buddy told me that Harlow Studios execs

00:51:26 love that you're mingling with the people,

00:51:28 doing your Christmas thing.

00:51:30 I think you got this in the bag, so let's land this movie,

00:51:32 then talk about stand-up.

00:51:34 - Do you think this is the right fit for me?

00:51:36 What if Rooster Man is just another bad move?

00:51:38 You know, I can't afford another swing and miss like that.

00:51:42 - Stop, stop, you're being paranoid, okay?

00:51:44 You're bigger than stand-up.

00:51:45 This is our way back to the top. Don't blow it.

00:51:47 - I just want to connect to people again in a real way.

00:51:51 - And you will. And I, Max.

00:51:54 - Listen, I gotta go, okay?

00:51:56 But I'm really happy that you had a good time tonight.

00:51:57 I will keep you posted.

00:51:58 With everything that did with the studio,

00:51:59 you are so close.

00:52:01 It's so close, Mike, okay?

00:52:03 I gotta go. Talk soon.

00:52:05 - Talk soon.

00:52:07 You know, one time I bombed so badly,

00:52:17 the next guy up passed around a hat

00:52:19 to start my relocation fund.

00:52:22 I made more money that night than I did the whole month.

00:52:26 - I got laughs with the same jokes at a club last night.

00:52:29 - Look, there's no substitution for stage time.

00:52:33 And just keep having fun, you know?

00:52:36 Regardless of how they're reacting,

00:52:37 and they're gonna want to join in.

00:52:40 - That's great advice. Thanks. I appreciate it.

00:52:44 You're a legend, Mike Baxter.

00:52:46 - Oh, stop it.

00:52:47 Hey, chin up. It only gets harder.

00:52:49 - Ha!

00:52:52 - Look at you.

00:52:54 You were great tonight. You killed it.

00:52:56 - Thank you. Thank you. I felt great.

00:52:59 The happiest I've felt in a long time.

00:53:01 - You know, some people even like to smile when they're happy.

00:53:06 - Okay, my agent thinks I need to focus on acting,

00:53:10 not stand-up.

00:53:11 - Maybe you should just focus on what makes you happy.

00:53:14 - Oh, he said if I get the part, I'll have carte blanche.

00:53:18 I was too embarrassed to tell him

00:53:19 I don't actually speak French.

00:53:21 - Yeah, I'm sure you will,

00:53:22 right after the sequel, the crossover, and the reboot,

00:53:25 where you pass the torch on to a much younger,

00:53:27 much more bankable rooster.

00:53:29 - Mm-hmm. Much younger, better.

00:53:32 You know, this Christmas,

00:53:33 I feel more alive than I have for the last five years.

00:53:40 Why is that?

00:53:42 - Well, a wise man once told me

00:53:44 that Christmas gives you exactly what you need.

00:53:48 So, pay attention.

00:53:51 - What if I fall on my face?

00:53:53 What if I fail?

00:53:55 - Well, the Comedy Club is actually hiring a janitor.

00:53:57 We don't offer benefits, but you can get any show for free.

00:54:01 - Acting is so easy with you.

00:54:05 - Well, I'm happy to help.

00:54:08 Now, chin up, 'cause it only gets harder.

00:54:12 - Chin up? That was my line.

00:54:13 - Yeah. - With Jeremy.

00:54:14 You just stole my line.

00:54:15 - Yeah, that was the whole point.

00:54:16 - I just said that.

00:54:18 - Hey. - Got you an omelet.

00:54:30 - Awesome. I haven't had a chance to eat breakfast yet.

00:54:32 How much? - It's on me.

00:54:34 - Ian, I signed your paychecks, and I know how much you make.

00:54:37 - It's fine.

00:54:38 Tickets are at a standstill for the show.

00:54:40 - Even after Mike's performance last night?

00:54:42 - I know, but we don't have an act big enough

00:54:43 to entice people to leave their homes on Christmas Eve.

00:54:45 Honestly, everyone wants to know if Mike will be there.

00:54:48 I do, too.

00:54:50 - Bella's coming. Just don't mention anything.

00:54:52 - Hi. - How about last night?

00:54:56 We got more hearts on our post than ever.

00:54:59 - That's amazing. - I was thinking,

00:55:01 we should give some hot chocolate

00:55:03 to the people in the standby lineup when we sell out.

00:55:07 - Mm-hmm. - What, for 8, 10 bucks a cup.

00:55:10 We will have to get them to line up in the back,

00:55:12 out in the alley, because the front is gonna be VIP only.

00:55:17 - VIP? - Casting agents

00:55:19 and network execs and directors.

00:55:21 Oh, they're starting to swarm like sharks.

00:55:25 And I, Bella, am finally the chump.

00:55:29 - Ah! That's amazing.

00:55:32 - Look, this variety show is so important.

00:55:35 We've got to impress these people,

00:55:37 or else we're finished.

00:55:39 - We don't want that. - So,

00:55:41 tell me, you have this, Aubrey?

00:55:44 - Yes, I will take care of it.

00:55:47 - It's New York. - Ah, New York.

00:55:50 - This variety show, it could really change my--

00:55:53 our career. - Yeah.

00:55:56 - I'll see you both later. - Not if I see you first.

00:55:59 - [laughs]

00:56:02 He slays me. Oh.

00:56:05 What am I gonna do?

00:56:08 - You know what to do.

00:56:10 Give the people what they want.

00:56:12 - I can't--no, Mike has enough on his plate.

00:56:15 - Just ask him. He's into you.

00:56:17 - You think he's into me?

00:56:19 - No. No, every celebrity wants to spend their vacation

00:56:23 handing out cookies in a costume.

00:56:25 Don't tell me you're not into him.

00:56:28 - Kay, maybe I'm just a little into him.

00:56:32 - I love you, cuz, but waiting for what you want to find you

00:56:35 is a waste.

00:56:37 - You need to stop hiding behind Bella.

00:56:40 Take charge.

00:56:42 Could change your life and sell tickets.

00:56:45 - Okay, I will go for him.

00:56:47 - Yes. - Professionally.

00:56:50 - Sure. Oh, uh, I put the drinks and the omelet

00:56:53 on the company card. I hope that's okay.

00:56:55 - Yes.

00:56:57 [soft music]

00:57:00 ♪ ♪

00:57:06 - Seeing Aubrey?

00:57:08 - What makes you say that?

00:57:10 - Since when do you wear cologne?

00:57:12 - I always wear cologne.

00:57:14 Too much?

00:57:16 - I have seen you take a nap backstage

00:57:18 20 minutes before a sketch with Obama.

00:57:21 - [sighs]

00:57:22 - How are you nervous now?

00:57:24 - She's great. I mean, she--

00:57:27 we have so much fun together.

00:57:29 She sees things in me I didn't know anyone else could.

00:57:33 - Good.

00:57:35 Show her who you really are.

00:57:37 Not some shameless, noncommittal bachelor

00:57:39 those gossip blogs make you out to be.

00:57:42 It's their words, not mine.

00:57:44 - I appreciate you, Steph. You know that?

00:57:47 - I know you do.

00:57:49 Now, don't screw this up. - Right.

00:57:51 - Bring her something nice.

00:57:54 - [sighs] Okay.

00:57:57 - A nice, not expensive.

00:58:01 - Right.

00:58:04 [romantic music]

00:58:07 ♪ ♪

00:58:08 - Hey. - Hey.

00:58:10 - Sorry I'm late. I was walking over

00:58:11 and saw this in a window.

00:58:15 - Beautiful.

00:58:16 - To remind you of how you killed it at the tree lighting.

00:58:19 It's a well-made item, and it reminded me of you.

00:58:21 - I love it.

00:58:22 Shut up. [laughs]

00:58:24 - Shall we? - Yeah.

00:58:26 - Come on.

00:58:27 I always have my good company.

00:58:29 It's because you're an amazing singer.

00:58:32 - Wow.

00:58:34 It's beautiful.

00:58:35 It's a nice change of pace from a comedy club.

00:58:38 - Yeah, I'm really glad you came.

00:58:39 And not just tonight, but to the comedy club.

00:58:44 - You've made this Christmas pretty fun.

00:58:46 - Really? - Yeah.

00:58:47 - Okay, maybe I should get you an ornament

00:58:49 so you won't forget it. Ooh, I wonder where I can get one

00:58:53 with a mob of children bringing a grown man to tears.

00:58:56 - Don't worry. It's gonna haunt my dreams...

00:58:58 - Mine too. - For a very long time.

00:59:00 And besides, who says I want to go back?

00:59:03 - What are you gonna do here?

00:59:04 As long as Bella's around, I cannot promise your safety.

00:59:06 - Oh, that's a very good point.

00:59:07 I could open up a B&B for the iron bars

00:59:10 I will install on all the windows.

00:59:12 - Of course.

00:59:14 But, yeah, it sounds perfect for when you retire, but

00:59:17 let's not forget you have a movie career.

00:59:20 [laughs]

00:59:22 - It's been really awesome being on stage again,

00:59:26 you know, near people that are important to me.

00:59:29 - Well, then that's where you belong.

00:59:33 - You make a lot of people really mad.

00:59:36 - I think it would make a lot more people happy.

00:59:39 - Are you one of those people?

00:59:43 - I just want what's best for you.

00:59:46 - Most people want something from me.

00:59:50 Not you.

00:59:51 - Can I be honest? - Yeah. Yeah, of course.

00:59:55 - Okay, I'm just gonna get it out.

00:59:56 The social media storm is attracting a lot of attention

01:00:00 and a ton of industry people are coming to the variety show.

01:00:03 - Yeah, yeah, no, it's great.

01:00:05 I think my agent's flying in with some exact--

01:00:07 - Yeah, but we have a ton of industry people

01:00:09 and no locals to laugh, clap, or just enjoy the fun.

01:00:12 And, well, if I have a half-empty room,

01:00:14 then Bella's career is finished,

01:00:16 and then mine just goes down the drain with her.

01:00:18 See, tickets aren't selling, and we really need a headliner,

01:00:23 and a lot of people are asking about you,

01:00:24 and would you just please make my Christmas wish come true?

01:00:27 - Yes, yes, of course. - Really?

01:00:29 - Yes, it would be my pleasure.

01:00:31 - So can Bella announce it at the Snowball Social tonight?

01:00:35 - I have your word, because if the audience start riding,

01:00:37 then I'm actually Bella's designated human shield.

01:00:40 - Let's go sell some tickets. - Okay, I--

01:00:42 - Come on, come on, let's do it.

01:00:44 To the Snowball Social.

01:00:49 - ♪ In that Christmas time feeling ♪

01:00:54 ♪ With family all around ♪

01:00:57 ♪ Sleigh bells in the sky ♪

01:00:58 - Hi there, Nutcracker.

01:01:00 You look beautiful.

01:01:02 - Thank you.

01:01:04 And a reward for the competition.

01:01:06 - She comes with props. What is this?

01:01:08 - Walnut for you. - What? For me?

01:01:10 Oh, my--thank you so much for this.

01:01:12 Do you want me to eat this right now?

01:01:13 - You do. I just crack 'em.

01:01:15 Well, actually, turns out walnuts are really tough to crack.

01:01:18 - Right, that makes sense.

01:01:20 - And who are you supposed to be?

01:01:22 - Jack Frost, baby.

01:01:24 - Handsome.

01:01:26 Like, not as functional as a Nutcracker.

01:01:29 - Not very obvious. - But very handsome.

01:01:31 - Thank you. Aubrey.

01:01:33 - Oh, uh, looks like I gotta--

01:01:35 - Your elf needs some help. - Elf to tag, too.

01:01:37 Okay.

01:01:39 - Well?

01:01:42 - I thought you were supposed to wear a costume.

01:01:44 - Ah, ha, ha. What'd he say?

01:01:47 - He said yes.

01:01:49 He's gonna headline.

01:01:51 - Huh?

01:01:55 - What if he said no?

01:01:57 - I put it on the company card.

01:01:59 - Ooh, I should probably find Bella so she can announce.

01:02:03 - Oh, she actually texted me saying she's running late.

01:02:06 She also asked me to save her a slow dance.

01:02:09 I think I learned my lesson about encouraging older women.

01:02:11 - Why is Mike Baxter in a costume?

01:02:13 - Is it true? Is Mike Baxter headlining the Variety show?

01:02:16 - I hope that's okay. - Okay.

01:02:18 I was about to give away free tickets to the Assisted Living facility.

01:02:21 We'll announce it right before the couples' snowball spotlight dance.

01:02:24 Thank you.

01:02:26 - Well, I should probably help Ian.

01:02:28 - Yeah, yeah, 'cause a simple addition does hurt my brain.

01:02:31 I think I'll be okay.

01:02:33 Go have fun.

01:02:35 - Wanna dance?

01:02:38 [indistinct chatter]

01:02:40 - I think we might sell out tonight, thanks to you.

01:02:49 - What are you talking about? Thanks to you?

01:02:51 Give yourself some credit. You've been working hard.

01:02:53 - The Comedy Club belongs to Bella.

01:02:55 Without her, I wouldn't even have the chance to write.

01:02:57 - Mm-mm, not true.

01:02:59 You write because that's who you are.

01:03:01 But to be honest, from what I've seen,

01:03:04 you are so much more.

01:03:07 - I think when Bella eventually introduces me to her industry friends,

01:03:14 then I can finally make that leap.

01:03:17 - Okay, I had a mentor once who told me that it's a very dangerous thing

01:03:23 to put your entire destiny in someone else's hands.

01:03:27 You don't need Bella's help.

01:03:30 - You didn't have any help.

01:03:32 You said the variety show gave you your first big break up.

01:03:35 Talent scout saw you.

01:03:37 - Oh, he did, but he was only there because I sent him the tickets.

01:03:39 And emailed to make sure that he got the tickets.

01:03:42 And called repeatedly to make sure that he got the email

01:03:44 to make sure that he got the tickets.

01:03:46 And I did the same thing for about 15 others.

01:03:48 One showed up.

01:03:50 - Really? - Yes.

01:03:51 - Look at you. - Mm-hmm.

01:03:53 - Still obnoxious. - Mm-hmm.

01:03:54 - About to be a superhero. - Well, I mean,

01:03:56 the jury is still out on that.

01:03:58 I won't know until after Christmas.

01:04:00 - And what are you doing for Christmas?

01:04:02 - Well, after the show, probably have a very exciting night.

01:04:05 Watering my plants, sorting my mail.

01:04:07 - Very exciting.

01:04:09 - Unless you'd want to spend Christmas together.

01:04:12 But it'll be your fault if my plants die.

01:04:15 - Ladies and gentlemen, our couple spotlight snowball dance is about to start.

01:04:19 But before the romance gets started, our costumed friends from the comedy club

01:04:23 have a huge announcement about the closing of Christmas Fest.

01:04:27 So I know a lot of you know that we've had a special guest here over the holidays.

01:04:31 But you know what? Let me get the team up from the comedy club to tell us more.

01:04:34 Is Bella here?

01:04:35 - No, but Aubrey's here.

01:04:37 - What?

01:04:38 - Aubrey Wilson, come on down.

01:04:40 [cheers and applause]

01:04:45 - Hello.

01:04:47 - As I'm sure some of you have noticed,

01:04:49 we've added a new headliner to our variety show.

01:04:52 - Yeah.

01:04:53 - So I am pleased to announce that--

01:04:56 Mike Baxter will be performing.

01:04:58 (audience applauds)

01:05:01 - Thank you so much, Aubrey, darling.

01:05:04 Aubrey, my assistant, everybody.

01:05:07 Thank you, darling.

01:05:08 Thank you.

01:05:09 Okay, please help me bring to the stage

01:05:12 the Comedy Club superstar comic

01:05:15 and our Christmas headliner, Mike Baxter!

01:05:19 (audience applauds)

01:05:20 - Okay, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go,

01:05:22 here we go, here we go, here we go.

01:05:23 (audience applauds)

01:05:26 - We are so thrilled to have you performing.

01:05:29 And of course, I'll be hosting the dynamic duo.

01:05:33 Right, folks?

01:05:34 Okay, now, don't forget, pick your tickets up tonight

01:05:38 because we are selling out so fast.

01:05:41 - Oh yeah, the hottest show in town

01:05:42 is only three days away.

01:05:43 Please make sure you get your tickets

01:05:45 from the table in the back.

01:05:46 And why don't we get Mr. and Mrs. Jack Frost

01:05:48 to kick off this snowball spotlight dance?

01:05:50 - That's the ice queen to you, darling.

01:05:53 But I will accept the spotlight.

01:05:56 Mike?

01:05:57 - Bella?

01:06:00 ♪ If you say there's more ♪

01:06:08 - I'm so glad you're home.

01:06:09 - Thanks, man, I appreciate that.

01:06:11 It was fun.

01:06:12 - Yes, ma'am.

01:06:13 ♪ And I knew you were going ♪

01:06:19 - I'm not keeping you, am I?

01:06:21 - Want some good news?

01:06:24 - Sure.

01:06:25 - Tickets are sold out, VIP section's full.

01:06:28 It's gonna be a packed house on Christmas Eve.

01:06:30 You did it.

01:06:32 - We did it.

01:06:32 We should get a fantastic show.

01:06:35 - Tomorrow, we celebrate.

01:06:37 - Oh no, no, no, no.

01:06:39 I have to write.

01:06:39 Christmas Eve is three days away

01:06:41 and Bella's gonna need jokes.

01:06:44 - What about Mike?

01:06:45 - You know, I am gonna need an opening act.

01:06:49 - Jack Frost and the ice queen

01:06:50 are a better fit than the nutcracker.

01:06:54 - Thank you for everything.

01:06:56 (gentle music)

01:07:05 - Hello.

01:07:13 - Mike, you're not still out in, what was it, Dakota,

01:07:16 are you?

01:07:17 - Outside Chicago, our third largest city.

01:07:20 - Right, well, listen, I was watching the summer

01:07:22 this morning, I couldn't help but notice

01:07:23 that you were outside crowing.

01:07:25 - What?

01:07:28 - Crowing.

01:07:30 Sunrise, it's what roosters do.

01:07:32 - Yes, thank you, Damon, I know.

01:07:34 What's happening, did I get the part?

01:07:36 - Yes, you got it.

01:07:37 What I'm trying to say is you are officially the rooster.

01:07:40 - Well, actually, I'm rooster man.

01:07:42 - Exactly, listen, the call was morning,

01:07:44 I'm working on a deal right now,

01:07:45 but you are a man of the people.

01:07:47 You sealed the deal.

01:07:48 Congrats.

01:07:53 Congrats.

01:07:54 - Mikey, didn't you hear me?

01:07:57 Did my assistant drop the call?

01:07:58 'Cause if he did, I swear, you brat.

01:08:00 - No, no, I'm here.

01:08:01 Hey, can I call you back?

01:08:03 I have to finish writing my act for the variety show.

01:08:06 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, you're not still performing.

01:08:08 Or, you know, we need you back in LA ASAP.

01:08:10 They need to scan your feet for the prosthetics.

01:08:12 - I can't, I'm headlining.

01:08:13 - No, Mike, you don't understand.

01:08:15 You have to be back in LA.

01:08:16 They're doing a whole song and dance

01:08:17 at one of those conventions, you know,

01:08:18 the ones where the kids get together and watch trailers?

01:08:21 - I just, I need a bit of time to think about this.

01:08:26 - No, there's no time.

01:08:28 My assistant booked you a flight Christmas Eve.

01:08:30 He'll send you the details.

01:08:32 - I'm committed to the club.

01:08:33 - Mike, they will understand.

01:08:35 This is a franchise, Mike.

01:08:36 You've been talking about action figures and bet sheets.

01:08:39 A whole lot of people are counting on you with this.

01:08:42 - Maybe this isn't the right move for me.

01:08:44 - Oh, no, yes it is.

01:08:46 Listen, I will personally bring you the contract myself.

01:08:49 I'm on my way.

01:08:50 - Brandon, are you there?

01:08:51 Listen, Brandon, book me a flight out to, um...

01:08:55 - What, where is this place?

01:08:56 - No, Damon, you really don't need to come here.

01:08:59 - Mikey, listen to me, two words, okay?

01:09:01 Whole grains. - Damon.

01:09:02 - I'll see you soon.

01:09:03 - Damon.

01:09:04 (gentle music)

01:09:11 - It's gonna be a big night.

01:09:14 - At the very least, an expensive one.

01:09:16 Bella asked for last minute decorations,

01:09:18 but, but she did give me my Christmas bonus,

01:09:20 so it's a wash.

01:09:22 - She gave me one too.

01:09:23 Now I remember why I started encouraging older women

01:09:25 in the first place.

01:09:27 This is good stuff.

01:09:28 Can't all be for Bella.

01:09:30 - It's my idea book.

01:09:31 I write anything and everything in it.

01:09:34 - And you should perform it.

01:09:36 You have enough material there.

01:09:37 - Well, I'm a writer.

01:09:39 Besides, anytime I was good,

01:09:40 it's 'cause Mike was up there with me.

01:09:42 - Hi. - Hi.

01:09:43 - I'm Damon Cardona, I represent Mike Baxter.

01:09:45 Are you the cleaning staff?

01:09:47 - Among other things.

01:09:48 You're early for the show.

01:09:49 - No, I'm not here for the show.

01:09:50 I'm just here to pick up Mike.

01:09:51 Is he around?

01:09:53 - Picking up?

01:09:54 - Yeah, I'd love to get to the O'Hare

01:09:56 before the dining lounge fills up.

01:09:58 - I'm sorry, I had to talk to Mike in the last day.

01:10:01 He's leaving?

01:10:03 - Oh, you guys must not read up on the trades.

01:10:05 Okay, listen, Mike booked "Rooster Man,"

01:10:08 so he has to go back to LA to press.

01:10:10 You know, I gotta thank you,

01:10:11 because those viral videos helped us

01:10:14 cross the finish line.

01:10:14 They were amazing.

01:10:16 - Hi, Damon.

01:10:17 - Ah, I told you I would be here.

01:10:19 Listen, I could not let you miss this opportunity.

01:10:21 So I have a car in the back.

01:10:22 If you hurry up, you can get that champagne service.

01:10:24 - Damon, I'm gonna meet you outside, okay?

01:10:27 - Right.

01:10:28 Well, good meeting you.

01:10:30 Merry Christmas.

01:10:31 And don't take too long.

01:10:33 - I think I left my oven on.

01:10:37 I'm gonna, yeah.

01:10:38 - You got the park?

01:10:43 - I wanted to tell you,

01:10:44 but I wasn't sure about taking it, okay?

01:10:46 I needed some time to think.

01:10:48 - Did you?

01:10:49 You could have told me before Damon did.

01:10:51 - I needed to figure out what I was gonna do first.

01:10:53 - And what you figured out was leaving me here

01:10:55 without a headliner,

01:10:56 just backing out at the last minute?

01:10:58 - It's complicated.

01:10:59 And that's why I came over here,

01:11:00 to tell you in person.

01:11:01 I didn't think Damon was gonna find you first.

01:11:04 This has been in the works for such a long time.

01:11:07 I don't have a choice.

01:11:08 - You do, and you made it.

01:11:10 - You don't understand.

01:11:10 People rely on me doing this movie.

01:11:13 The studio can crush you.

01:11:16 Somebody told me that it is a dangerous thing

01:11:18 to leave your destiny in other people's hands.

01:11:20 - I'm sorry.

01:11:24 Trust me, it wasn't an easy decision.

01:11:27 Listen to me, you don't need me for the show.

01:11:32 Okay?

01:11:34 You've got the talent.

01:11:36 The tickets are sold.

01:11:37 It's gonna be a success no matter what.

01:11:39 - Yeah, it will be a success, thank you.

01:11:41 - Aubrey, this is your time.

01:11:46 And it's your time to be a hero on the big screen.

01:11:48 Congratulations.

01:11:49 - Aubrey, you're a star.

01:11:52 You shine on your own.

01:11:53 - Merry Christmas, Mike.

01:11:57 - We don't have a headliner now?

01:12:11 - None of the acts want to replace Mike.

01:12:12 He set the expectations too high.

01:12:14 - Yeah, you set your expectations too high

01:12:16 when you put your faith in that sellout.

01:12:20 And how much is he making for that movie?

01:12:22 Four or five mil?

01:12:24 - Okay, I have a great set.

01:12:25 Maybe you can close.

01:12:27 - Yeah, or maybe you can get that magician you hired

01:12:29 to saw me in half.

01:12:31 Oh, the crowd wants to see the headliner.

01:12:35 They're not gonna be happy until they do.

01:12:38 And a non-happy crowd, they don't laugh.

01:12:41 What are the VIPs gonna think?

01:12:42 - Oh, I cannot believe this is happening to me again.

01:12:46 - Bella, they're your friends.

01:12:48 - Friends don't forget about you.

01:12:49 Friends don't ignore your calls.

01:12:52 Friends broker you million dollar deals,

01:12:54 not advertisements for battery acid

01:12:56 thinly disguised as soda pop.

01:12:59 Looks like we're gonna crash and burn together.

01:13:02 You don't deserve that, Aubrey.

01:13:05 - I'll do it.

01:13:09 - What, crash and burn?

01:13:10 I just said we'll do it together.

01:13:11 - Headline.

01:13:12 The people in town, they've seen me perform.

01:13:14 I have a ton of followers,

01:13:16 and I got us in this situation,

01:13:18 and I'm gonna get us out of it.

01:13:19 - Honey, there are not gonna be a very forgiving crowd.

01:13:23 - I am not gonna let them break me, okay?

01:13:24 I will do it.

01:13:25 - Okay, I'm just gonna tell you,

01:13:29 as much as I wanna see you succeed out there,

01:13:32 just as much I don't want you to

01:13:34 because I don't wanna lose you.

01:13:36 - Impossible, as if you could ever lose me.

01:13:39 I'm only here because of you,

01:13:40 and you'll always be home to me, my love.

01:13:44 - Aubrey, Aubrey, you belong on center stage.

01:13:50 I want you to go out there and claim it.

01:13:53 (knocking)

01:13:55 - Five minutes 'til showtime.

01:13:58 - There she is, the star that saved Christmas.

01:14:02 And you, you're the little dipper.

01:14:09 - Does that mean?

01:14:11 - I, I think I may have just blacked out.

01:14:15 Oh, okay.

01:14:17 - Can you stop celebrating so loudly?

01:14:25 The girls are trying to take a nap.

01:14:27 - I thought a comeback would make me happy.

01:14:33 But Christmas Eve, having to leave you and the girls, and.

01:14:37 (gentle music)

01:14:39 - Look, you know me, I wouldn't do this

01:14:43 if I didn't have a choice.

01:14:44 - But you do.

01:14:45 Well, you always have a choice.

01:14:50 I'm proud of you no matter what you do.

01:14:52 I just want you to be happy.

01:14:54 Forgive me for saying this, but I do not like that man.

01:14:59 - That makes two of us.

01:15:00 - I'm so proud of you.

01:15:05 - I love you.

01:15:06 - I love you.

01:15:08 Go follow your heart.

01:15:09 Or whatever you have to do to make that man leave.

01:15:13 - So, the Rudy sent some of the PR briefs,

01:15:21 so if anyone asks, read the comics your whole life

01:15:24 and you'll be sleeping with chicken coop.

01:15:26 Okay?

01:15:29 - Damon, when do I get to be myself?

01:15:31 - This is yourself, only richer and horrible.

01:15:36 (laughing)

01:15:38 - What is that?

01:15:41 Are those?

01:15:42 - Hey, it's not a--

01:15:47 - Mikey, I said whole grains.

01:15:49 - I wasn't gonna eat the whole thing.

01:15:51 - Here, have some walnuts.

01:15:54 Okay, you know what?

01:16:02 You don't want the walnuts, you don't like them?

01:16:04 How about this, we can get you something else

01:16:06 at the airport, okay?

01:16:07 - I don't need to come back on top.

01:16:09 I don't.

01:16:10 I wanna make people happy again, in my own way.

01:16:15 - Take these, you can have these.

01:16:17 - No. - Put abs on you and post.

01:16:18 - Damon, Damon, Damon, I gotta follow my heart.

01:16:21 Listen to me, we're gonna make this living

01:16:23 very happy and lucrative one, okay?

01:16:26 Trust me.

01:16:27 Stop the car, please.

01:16:28 - No, no, no, don't stop the car, please.

01:16:30 Don't do this, it's Christmas.

01:16:32 We're talking action figures, Mikey.

01:16:34 - Stop the car.

01:16:35 - Just try, action figures, Mikey, veggies.

01:16:40 - Stop the car.

01:16:42 Damon, eat a pastry.

01:16:45 - Mikey, don't do this.

01:16:47 - Trust me.

01:16:47 - I have been naughty all year,

01:16:55 just to save poor Santa the trip.

01:16:57 (laughing)

01:16:59 But really, it's a wonderful life, isn't it, folks?

01:17:02 And we've been blessed this year with a white Christmas,

01:17:05 and we're not home alone.

01:17:07 We're all here together with a great Christmas warm spirit,

01:17:11 ready to enjoy the first Christmas variety concert

01:17:15 that the Comedy Club has put on in years.

01:17:18 Yes, yes!

01:17:19 - Okay.

01:17:23 - You got this, cuz.

01:17:25 - Yeah, they're either gonna love me

01:17:26 or they're gonna hate me.

01:17:27 Oh, they're gonna hate me.

01:17:29 - They're gonna love you.

01:17:31 This is your destiny.

01:17:33 I knew it back then in the treehouse,

01:17:34 and I know it now.

01:17:36 So get out there and make them laugh on Christmas.

01:17:39 - Get ready for a big Christmas surprise.

01:17:41 Now, please put your hands together

01:17:43 and help me welcome to the stage

01:17:46 our very own funny lady, the real queen of--

01:17:49 - Be ready to drop the carton if I faint, please.

01:17:52 - Aubrey Wilson!

01:17:53 Aubrey!

01:17:54 (audience cheering)

01:17:55 Get up here!

01:17:56 (audience cheering)

01:17:59 We are going to have so much fun.

01:18:06 Get up here and slay it.

01:18:08 - Thank you very much.

01:18:11 This is the nicest she has ever been to me.

01:18:13 I don't know what was in that eggnog.

01:18:15 (audience laughing)

01:18:17 Hello, hello.

01:18:19 Wow, let's give it up for Bella Del Domino.

01:18:21 Yes, thank you.

01:18:23 Full house tonight.

01:18:24 Wow.

01:18:26 Yeah, it's here.

01:18:26 December, I know, right?

01:18:28 Yeah, I can already sense the stress levels rising.

01:18:32 Yeah, the most wonderful time of the year,

01:18:36 you know, when all your loved ones

01:18:37 are so close together under one roof.

01:18:41 Yeah, it's great.

01:18:42 I love Christmas.

01:18:43 It is my favorite holiday.

01:18:45 And of course I love my mother, okay?

01:18:47 Yes, she makes my life a little difficult at times.

01:18:50 There's one thing about her that just,

01:18:52 really grinds my gears,

01:18:54 and that is that this angel woman

01:18:56 is just impossible to buy presents for.

01:18:59 So this year I just gave up.

01:19:00 I said, "Mother, please just tell me

01:19:02 "what you want for Christmas,

01:19:03 "and I will just buy it for you."

01:19:04 She finally told me, but you know,

01:19:07 I can't, for the life of me, find it anywhere.

01:19:10 So if any of you know where I can find

01:19:12 better health insurance,

01:19:13 please see me after the show.

01:19:15 (audience laughing)

01:19:18 Yeah, I mean, have you ever looked at your insurance policy?

01:19:22 I mean, those things, they are longer than a--

01:19:24 Of course, Miss Carol, you are in trouble.

01:19:25 I mean, it's madness.

01:19:27 It's like trying to decipher an ancient scroll.

01:19:30 Anyways, I didn't give up,

01:19:31 because I am a very good daughter.

01:19:33 So I just kept looking here and there,

01:19:37 and I looked so hard that I actually

01:19:38 ended up spraining my ankle looking for it.

01:19:43 Or at least I think I did.

01:19:45 I was too afraid to go to the hospital to find out.

01:19:47 (audience laughing)

01:19:50 (audience applauding)

01:19:54 Mike Baxter.

01:20:03 (audience applauding)

01:20:10 Too hard to, um.

01:20:13 Mike Baxter.

01:20:20 You came back, why?

01:20:22 I realized the only comeback I care about

01:20:30 is to the one person that matters to me.

01:20:32 (audience applauding)

01:20:36 I also had some last minute shopping to do.

01:20:44 Ah, there it is.

01:20:46 Yes, your typical male to-do list.

01:20:48 Finish task that should have been done weeks ago,

01:20:51 and interrupt woman getting more attention than you.

01:20:54 (audience applauding)

01:20:57 Thank you so much for having me, Max.

01:21:01 Yeah!

01:21:03 Encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore.

01:21:09 Hey, you up?

01:21:13 Come on up and join me here on stage.

01:21:15 You want me to come on stage right now?

01:21:16 Yes, come and join me.

01:21:17 (audience applauding)

01:21:20 I've got some notes.

01:21:31 Yeah, did you learn anything?

01:21:33 What I want most for Christmas.

01:21:36 An apology.

01:21:37 I made a huge mistake.

01:21:40 I'm sorry.

01:21:45 Yeah, well, you're a big action superhero now,

01:21:47 so I'm sure after your first check,

01:21:49 you'll just forget all about me.

01:21:51 I passed.

01:21:52 I wanna be here laughing with you.

01:21:56 If you'll have me.

01:21:59 Mike Baxter, everyone.

01:22:07 (audience applauding)

01:22:12 So, for some of you that may not know,

01:22:15 he was supposed to play a chicken earlier.

01:22:18 Rooster, that's a rooster.

01:22:19 Sorry.

01:22:20 Just politically correct for roosters everywhere.

01:22:23 Ladies and gentlemen, round of applause

01:22:25 for the incredible Aubrey Wilson.

01:22:28 Give it up.

01:22:29 (audience applauding)

01:22:41 Congratulations on a spectacular variety show.

01:22:43 Oh, thank you, Robert.

01:22:45 Any chance you're free to join me for Christmas dinner?

01:22:47 Oh, Robert.

01:22:50 Oh, darling, we were never gonna work out anyway.

01:22:52 You don't have children, do you, Robert?

01:22:56 Hey, execs love you, Mikey.

01:22:59 They're like the wise men,

01:23:00 but they're often on our specials instead of sheep horn.

01:23:03 Whatever.

01:23:04 You did so good.

01:23:04 Come here, man.

01:23:05 Oh, okay.

01:23:07 And you look fantastic.

01:23:09 David, David, Merry Christmas.

01:23:12 Are you sure about Rooster Neck?

01:23:15 Because I bet we can work something out

01:23:18 right between the two of us,

01:23:19 because practically it's shooting in CGI.

01:23:21 If you're on stage-

01:23:22 David, I'd like to introduce you to Aubrey Wilson.

01:23:24 I think she'd make a great client for the agency.

01:23:27 Hi, nice to meet you.

01:23:30 You know, I love to talk,

01:23:35 and you can have the pick of any agent you want,

01:23:38 especially with his endorsement.

01:23:39 Thank you, I will call you.

01:23:42 Of course, looking forward to it.

01:23:44 You were wonderful, darling.

01:23:49 I just couldn't break my heart to lose you.

01:23:52 Unless you decide to stay,

01:23:54 in which case I'll just have to fire you.

01:23:57 I think if I'm going on tour,

01:24:00 I'm gonna need an opening act.

01:24:01 Oh, I don't know about an opening act, Mike Baxter.

01:24:05 I might consider co-headlining with you or-

01:24:08 Sorry.

01:24:09 Oh, sorry.

01:24:10 Oh my goodness, well, I'm gonna leave you two to discuss,

01:24:16 and remember, you always have a home here

01:24:19 at the comedy club, the both of you.

01:24:22 Thanks, Bella.

01:24:23 What a darling couple.

01:24:25 (laughing)

01:24:27 Oh, Bella.

01:24:28 Were you serious about going on tour?

01:24:33 Definitely.

01:24:35 Well, you'll steal the show,

01:24:37 but keeps me from losing you again.

01:24:40 Worth the trade-off.

01:24:41 Yeah, well, I'm not like those Hollywood girls.

01:24:44 I know.

01:24:44 You're much funnier,

01:24:47 and you're also perfect.

01:24:50 This is the best Christmas ever.

01:24:53 So does this mean you'll wait for Santa with me?

01:24:57 Tonight, you never answered me at the social.

01:25:00 Absolutely.

01:25:02 Merry Christmas, Mike Baxter.

01:25:04 Merry Christmas, Aubrey Wilson.

01:25:06 (gentle music)

01:25:10 All right, so I've got one more for you,

01:25:32 and this is a love song.

01:25:34 Yee-haw!

01:25:37 ♪ I really, really like you ♪

01:25:43 ♪ I'm desperate for a kiss ♪

01:25:46 ♪ I asked you out at a holiday party ♪

01:25:48 ♪ But something was amiss ♪

01:25:51 ♪ You came a-looking over your shoulder ♪

01:25:54 ♪ Telling me it's time to go ♪

01:25:57 ♪ But I looked so calm ♪

01:25:58 ♪ And I saw her under mistletoe ♪

01:26:02 Yes!

01:26:03 ♪ Kiss me ♪

01:26:04 ♪ I didn't make up the rules ♪

01:26:07 ♪ Don't you dare diss me ♪

01:26:10 ♪ That'd make me feel like such a fool ♪

01:26:14 ♪ I'm leaning in towards your face now ♪

01:26:16 ♪ It's something that I want to achieve ♪

01:26:19 ♪ And if you will allow it ♪

01:26:21 ♪ We can kiss till New Year's Eve ♪

01:26:25 Thank you very much.

01:26:26 You've been a great audience.

01:26:27 Thank you.

01:26:28 (audience applauding)

01:26:29 (upbeat jazz music)

01:26:32 (upbeat jazz music)

01:26:35 (upbeat jazz music)

01:26:38 (upbeat jazz music)

01:26:41 (upbeat jazz music)

01:27:00 (upbeat jazz music)

01:27:03 (dramatic music)

01:27:18 (dramatic music)

01:27:21 (dramatic music)

01:27:24 (upbeat music)

01:27:27 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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