These performances were short yet iconic and all-around royal. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the best portrayals of historic royalty that were in a movie for a good time but not for a long time.
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00:00 "You, you!"
00:01 "It's your majesty the first time. After that, it's man. As in ham."
00:05 Welcome to Miss Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the best portrayals of
00:09 historic royalty that were in a movie for a good time, but not a long time.
00:14 "Awesome! Wow! Do you have a clue what happens now?"
00:20 Number 10, Jeanette Charles as Elizabeth II, the naked gun from The Files of Police Squad.
00:26 "Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and give a hearty Los Angeles welcome to Her Majesty
00:30 Queen Elizabeth II."
00:32 Playing the living queen of your actual country could be daunting for some,
00:36 and while British actress Jeanette Charles made her living at it, she took care to be respectful.
00:41 Her best appearance as Queen Elizabeth II may be in the zany first instalment
00:46 in the Naked Gun trilogy of films.
00:55 Leslie Nilsen's Lieutenant Frank Drebin is assigned to prevent the Queen's assassination
01:00 during a baseball game. Charles barely speaks a word, but watching her in character as the Queen,
01:06 trying to maintain her regalness as she participates in American pastimes like
01:11 hot dogs and the Wave is comedy gold.
01:13 "How about that Queen, ladies and gentlemen? Let's have a nice round of applause."
01:17 "Well, we're ready for the start of today's ball game."
01:20 Number 9. Elsa Lanchester as Anne of Cleves, The Private Life of Henry VIII.
01:25 "Ah, what am I, what am I gonna do with you?"
01:28 "Chop my head?"
01:29 "Probably."
01:30 "You're damned."
01:30 "Why not?"
01:31 "Because in Europe I will make such a scandal as you never heard."
01:34 The short marriage between the notorious King Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves, a German noble,
01:40 occupies a brief but memorable section of this historical comedy from the early 30s.
01:45 Though it's a myth that Henry made the characteristically tactful declaration
01:49 that she looked like a horse, the marriage still didn't last long.
01:53 Playing opposite her real-life husband, Charles Lawton, Elsa Lanchester got to play an Anne who
01:58 was determined to wriggle out of her marriage to the famously vengeful King.
02:03 "What can be done? Nothing."
02:05 "How like a man, to be dead before he is killed. That is always a fear."
02:12 She plays herself off as ugly, clumsy, and so shrill that he will have no choice but to
02:17 divorce her. It's so satisfying to watch Anne beat Henry at his own game.
02:22 "Is this a bargain?"
02:23 "Yeah."
02:24 "Confess that you cheated, you go back to Germany."
02:29 "Back to Germany? I cheated."
02:32 8. Patrick Stewart as Richard I
02:35 Robin Hood, Men in Tights
02:37 "I now pronounce you man and..."
02:40 "I am Jack."
02:40 "Who asked?"
02:43 After the standard buffoonery and ludicrous musical numbers of Mel Brooks' Robin Hood parody,
02:48 who better than Sir Patrick Stewart to play the King known as the Lionheart?
02:53 Playing King Richard I, the absent King, who's off fighting the Crusades while his corrupt brother,
02:59 John, runs his kingdom into the ground, Stewart is both believable and hilarious.
03:05 Even Brooks' most juvenile puns sound kingly coming out of his mouth.
03:09 "You have surrounded your given name with a foul stench.
03:14 From this day forth, all the toilets in this kingdom shall be known as...John's."
03:23 In just a few minutes of screen time, Stewart provides the climax with gravitas,
03:27 wit, and deadpan humour. It's obvious he's having a great time doing it too.
03:33 "It's good to be the king."
03:34 "No, you may marry them."
03:41 Number 7, Edward Norton as Baldwin IV, Kingdom of Heaven
03:45 "When I was 16, I won a great victory. I felt in that moment I would live to be 100.
03:51 Now I know I shall not see 30."
03:55 Director Ridley Scott's fictionalising of the Crusades is a forgotten epic,
03:59 but actor Edward Norton's supporting performance as the masked leper, King Baldwin IV,
04:05 was praised by many. The King of Jerusalem is doomed by his affliction,
04:10 and Norton plays him as a man who has accepted that life, war, and politics are part of a greater plan.
04:16 "Remember that howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone."
04:21 He speaks with gentle authority, and even acting through an unmoving mask,
04:26 Norton commands in the role. Serving as mentor figure to the Crusader Balian,
04:31 his scenes are short but provide a moral centre to the action that follows.
04:36 "All are welcome in Jerusalem, not only because it's expedient, but because it is right.
04:41 Protect the helpless, and then maybe one day, when I am helpless, you will come and protect me."
04:50 Number 6, Kathy Burke as Mary I, Elizabeth
04:54 "It is your death warrant. All I need do is sign it.
04:56 Mary, if you sign that paper, you will be murdering your own sister."
05:04 The Queen Mary of history is known for her heavy reliance on execution.
05:08 She earned the nickname "Bloody Mary" after all.
05:11 As played by comedian Kathy Burke in the 1998 movie about Mary's younger sister,
05:16 the eventual Queen Elizabeth, she is a paranoid and vengeful presence.
05:20 "Why will you not confess your crimes against me?"
05:23 "Because, your majesty, I have committed none."
05:27 "You speak with such sincerity. I see you are still a consummate actress."
05:35 She taunts her Protestant sister with a death warrant, and volleys back and forth between
05:40 genuine care and resolve that England will remain a Catholic nation after her death.
05:45 Though she dies, as her real-life counterpart does, so that her sister does become Queen,
05:50 her presence in Elizabeth's life is proof that a Queen can trust no one, not even family.
05:57 "I promise to act as my conscience dictates."
06:04 "You do not think to be Queen at all?"
06:09 Number 5, Jonathan Groff as George III, Hamilton
06:13 "You'll be back, time will tell. You'll remember that I served you well."
06:20 The performer playing King George III has arguably the best gig.
06:24 You get three hilarious songs, and then you get to chill backstage until bows.
06:28 Played by Jonathan Groff in the original Broadway cast and in the 2020 filmed version
06:33 of the stage show, King George is a cruel ruler who loves to be bad.
06:37 "And when push comes to shove, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love."
06:47 Giddy with excitement at the thought of his former colonists tearing each other apart,
06:56 it makes the real man's legacy of colonial rule seem appropriately petty.
07:01 He acts more like a 13-year-old who likes to hold magnifying glasses to ants than a true monarch.
07:07 "When your people say they hate you, don't come crawling back to me."
07:14 Number 4, John Gilgud as Louis VII, Beckett
07:19 "Your Majesty, the English ambassador's extraordinary insist that I convey their compliments."
07:24 "They've already done that. I'll see them when I'm ready."
07:28 In just over eight minutes of screen time, British acting legend John Gilgud won acclaim
07:33 and even an Oscar nomination for his role as the French King Louis VII.
07:38 After royally shafting his friend, the King of England, upstart Bishop Thomas Beckett,
07:43 seeks the help of the French. Enter the ornately dressed,
07:47 smug and deliciously petty King Louis.
07:50 "My dear man, crowned heads are free to play the little game of courtesy,
07:54 but nations owe one another none."
07:56 Disarmingly polite and straightforward, the French King is a dapper strategist.
08:01 He seems friendly enough, but his cheerful demeanour makes his massive influence
08:05 and love of shady social power plays just that more threatening.
08:09 He almost dares everyone in the room to question his behaviour, knowing full well they can't.
08:15 "Gentlemen, we have listened most attentively to your sovereign's gracious request,
08:19 and we shall shortly be drafting a formal reply to it."
08:22 Number 3, Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen Mother, The King's Speech
08:27 "Forgive me, your-" "Royal Highness."
08:29 "Royal Highness." "His donson was used during the Great War,
08:32 when the Navy didn't want the enemy to know he was a ward."
08:35 "Am I considered the enemy?" "You will be, if you remain unobliging."
08:40 Much of the drama in this Oscar-winning period piece is between the King and his speech therapist,
08:44 but their entire relationship is put into motion by the Queen.
08:48 As the nonplussed but loving Queen consort to the unexpected King George VI,
08:53 Helena Bonham Carter left a huge impression.
08:56 "I'm told your husband calls my husband Bertie, and my husband calls your husband Lionel.
09:02 I trust you won't call me Liz."
09:04 Her Queen Elizabeth is proper when need be,
09:07 but her effortless humour pokes fun at the pretension of royal conventions.
09:11 The way she never seems angry at the King, just a little annoyed, is so funny and so adorable.
09:18 She knows how serious her husband's speech issues are, but she never lets herself be too serious.
09:23 "And up comes Her Royal Highness, and slowly exhale, and down comes Her Royal Highness."
09:30 "You alright Bertie?" "Yes."
09:32 "Actually quite good fun."
09:33 Number 2. Robert Shaw as Henry VIII, a man for all seasons.
09:38 "I'll leave you out of it, that you are my Chancellor.
09:42 I don't take it kindly, and I'll have no opposition."
09:47 This Best Picture Oscar winner follows the Lord Chancellor,
09:50 who paid dearly for his principles when the infamous King Henry VIII asked him to renounce
09:55 his faith. Known for playing roughnecks and sociopaths, Robert Shaw was not the
10:00 standard Henry VIII. That's what made him all the more terrifying to watch.
10:04 "See? See how you've maddened me? I hardly know myself."
10:12 Vollying between admiring the natural beauty of his kingdom,
10:15 and berating any subject who did not do his bidding, Henry is a volatile force.
10:20 Despite the King's overarching influence over the story,
10:24 the film's focus is on Moore's faith and politics.
10:27 It's hard to ignore Shaw's presence though. It looms large.
10:31 "Oh lass, as I think of it, I see so clearly that I cannot come with your grace,
10:35 that my endeavor is not to think of it at all."
10:37 "Then you haven't thought enough!"
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10:54 1. Judi Dench as Elizabeth I - Shakespeare in Love
11:00 "What do you love so much?" "Your Majesty."
11:04 "Speak up girl, I know who I am."
11:05 Though it's not the shortest Oscar-winning performance on record,
11:08 Dame Judi Dench stole the show in just over five minutes as Queen Elizabeth I.
11:14 The Queen acts as a sort of sage character, appearing in only a few scenes.
11:18 Her more impressive one comes at the end.
11:21 "Mr. Tilney!"
11:22 "Have a care with my name, you will wear it out."
11:32 Suspecting rightly that the theatre artists behind Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
11:37 have broken the rule forbidding women on stage,
11:39 the authorities are about to arrest those responsible, until the Queen intervenes,
11:44 saving everyone's reputation, the show, and Shakespeare's career.
11:49 With tongue-in-cheek humour and an air of sarcasm you might not expect from a Queen,
11:54 she is one of the crown jewels of the movie.
11:56 "Nature and truth are the very enemies of play acting. I'll wager my fortune."
12:00 "I thought you were here because you had none."
12:02 Which of these royal performances left the biggest impact on you? Let us know in the comments.
12:09 "It is a custom and my royal right. Hold this father."
12:13 "Rabbi."
12:15 "Whatever."
12:16 Do you agree with our picks? Check out this other recent clip from Ms Mojo.
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12:24 [Music]