English Films - Pluto
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:03 --of a man who had true dedication.
00:00:05 [APPLAUSE]
00:00:09 I'm honored still to be here to remember Ted Strauss
00:00:14 and commemorate his generosity, strength, and his loyalty
00:00:20 to his family and friends.
00:00:22 [APPLAUSE]
00:00:24 We lost him tragically--
00:00:25 Excuse me.
00:00:26 Get me a water, sugar.
00:00:28 --but he will never be forgotten,
00:00:30 as we rename the East Wing Ballroom
00:00:34 to Theodore Thomas Strauss.
00:00:36 I swear to God, if that guy touches my ass one more time,
00:00:38 I'm going to freak.
00:00:39 Which guy?
00:00:40 That guy.
00:00:40 That old guy over there with the shakes.
00:00:42 Oh, the guy who invented the wheel?
00:00:44 [LAUGHTER]
00:00:46 I think he asked me to go to a Civil War reenactment later.
00:00:48 Are you kidding me?
00:00:49 [LAUGHTER]
00:00:50 Are you serious?
00:00:50 Yeah.
00:00:51 You're pretty excited about it.
00:00:52 Are you seeing these vegetables?
00:00:54 [LAUGHTER]
00:00:55 Fuck Mr. Roo.
00:00:56 He can get his own water.
00:00:58 [INTERPOSING VOICES]
00:01:01 Get out of the way.
00:01:03 I'm CPR certified.
00:01:04 [INTERPOSING VOICES]
00:01:07 Showtime.
00:01:08 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:13 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:21 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:51 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:06 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:19 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03:13 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03:17 It was mortifying, Doctor.
00:03:24 Yes, I can imagine.
00:03:26 Well, I couldn't have--
00:03:28 he's been doing this for some time, but never in front of me.
00:03:31 And that's why you called me now?
00:03:33 He crossed a line.
00:03:35 These are my friends.
00:03:37 These were my husband's friends.
00:03:39 I understand he passed away.
00:03:41 Three years ago, drowned himself.
00:03:44 It was terrible, but it's time to move on.
00:03:49 Were he and Paul close?
00:03:51 No, they never got along.
00:03:53 No one was really close to that man, not even me.
00:03:57 Look, I don't know what this is all about.
00:04:00 I just need you to make sure it doesn't happen again,
00:04:03 at least not near my club.
00:04:05 Of course, I'll do everything I can.
00:04:07 Thank you, Doctor.
00:04:08 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:11 I understand that's how you feel, but I--
00:04:15 yes, but if I could just give you my opinion--
00:04:18 Yeah, yeah, OK.
00:04:26 Jen and Rob are going to have a kid.
00:04:29 [LAUGHS]
00:04:30 She's pregnant.
00:04:31 I just thought she was pregnant this whole time.
00:04:33 She's totally pregnant, totally.
00:04:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:38 No, I'm not going there.
00:04:44 I'm not going there.
00:04:45 No, I'll go there.
00:04:47 Uh, Mr. Schauss, you can go on in.
00:04:49 Yeah?
00:04:50 Yeah, I'm still at work.
00:04:51 No, it doesn't matter.
00:04:52 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:55 [KNOCKING]
00:04:59 Hello?
00:05:00 Oh, shit.
00:05:01 Fuck.
00:05:02 Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
00:05:03 I'm sorry.
00:05:04 Fuck.
00:05:05 Oh, you were supposed to--
00:05:07 fuck.
00:05:09 It's fine.
00:05:10 [DOOR CREAKING]
00:05:12 Mary?
00:05:15 Yes, Dr. Danzig?
00:05:17 I thought you said I didn't have any more appointments
00:05:19 for the day.
00:05:20 I did.
00:05:21 You did?
00:05:24 I'm sorry, Dr. Danzig.
00:05:26 Go home for the day.
00:05:27 He is my last patient, correct?
00:05:31 What?
00:05:32 Go on.
00:05:35 I'm sorry, Dr. Danzig.
00:05:37 I told you.
00:05:41 It's fine.
00:05:43 Wow.
00:05:44 Fuck.
00:05:45 I really shouldn't be doing this.
00:05:48 Towel the door.
00:05:49 Yeah?
00:05:50 Yeah, towel the door.
00:05:52 [LAUGHING]
00:05:54 What the hell?
00:06:00 [LAUGHING]
00:06:02 [COUGHING]
00:06:10 Bad day?
00:06:12 Something like that.
00:06:13 I'm Greg.
00:06:14 Pluto.
00:06:15 Oh, like the planet?
00:06:16 Oh, no, like the Disney character.
00:06:18 Oh.
00:06:19 Yes, like the planet.
00:06:20 Oh.
00:06:21 Is that short for something?
00:06:22 What would it be short for?
00:06:24 Oh, I don't know.
00:06:27 I guess I just never heard of someone being named
00:06:29 after a planet before.
00:06:30 Well, I wasn't.
00:06:31 My name is Paul, and Pluto is the name of a Roman god
00:06:35 that a planet was named after.
00:06:38 That you go by.
00:06:39 Right.
00:06:40 I spoke to your mother yesterday.
00:06:47 I would love to have a copy of that conversation.
00:06:49 Yeah, I didn't expect you to show up.
00:06:51 I'm here.
00:06:52 Right.
00:06:53 So go ahead, Doc.
00:06:56 Fix me.
00:06:58 Well, what is it that you think needs fixing?
00:07:01 No idea.
00:07:02 You're the one who spoke to my mother.
00:07:04 She told me about your little incident at the country club.
00:07:08 Good times.
00:07:09 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:10 So you dress up like other people.
00:07:12 Sure.
00:07:13 You screw with everyone else?
00:07:15 Sort of.
00:07:16 Well, you lie to them about who you are
00:07:18 and where you're from, what you do.
00:07:20 It's a little more complicated than that.
00:07:22 Well, you're not afraid of getting caught
00:07:24 or hurting someone?
00:07:25 Well, that's half the fun, Greg.
00:07:27 [laughter]
00:07:29 Ah.
00:07:30 Mmm, I'm not sure if I'm really stoned
00:07:34 or just having trouble understanding.
00:07:36 Um, give me-- give me an example of a typical day.
00:07:41 Well, it's never the same.
00:07:43 Well, it's got to start from somewhere.
00:07:45 Okay.
00:07:46 I guess, uh, I guess I would start with my hands.
00:07:54 From there I go wherever my imagination takes me.
00:07:57 [laughs]
00:07:58 But it wouldn't be any fun for me
00:08:00 if you knew any more than that, Greg.
00:08:02 It's mine.
00:08:03 It's my drug.
00:08:05 It's my addiction.
00:08:06 It's the most fun I get to have all day.
00:08:09 What's not to love about it?
00:08:11 I get to be anyone I want to be.
00:08:13 Whatever they would do, I do.
00:08:16 You wouldn't believe the people that I've met,
00:08:18 the--the things that I've gotten to see.
00:08:21 That would never happen for Paul Strauss.
00:08:24 But for Pluto, or the people I've become,
00:08:28 we get the excitement, the danger, the spontaneity.
00:08:34 My life is not monotonous.
00:08:37 My day is different every day.
00:08:41 Can you say the same?
00:08:45 [piano music]
00:08:51 I brought you a sandwich.
00:09:13 What kind?
00:09:15 I don't remember.
00:09:16 You don't remember what kind of sandwich you made for me?
00:09:19 I didn't make it.
00:09:20 Oh.
00:09:21 Who made it?
00:09:22 Rosie.
00:09:23 Oh.
00:09:24 Good.
00:09:26 What do you mean, good?
00:09:28 She makes a better sandwich.
00:09:30 Than who?
00:09:31 Than you.
00:09:33 You know, you're a real asshole.
00:09:35 That's nice, Mother.
00:09:37 I hate it when you smoke.
00:09:39 I'm sorry to hear that.
00:09:41 Didn't you learn anything from your father?
00:09:43 Are you done?
00:09:45 Claire tells me you're still being rude to Ben.
00:09:50 I don't like him.
00:09:52 You hate everyone.
00:09:53 I don't hate everyone.
00:09:54 Name one person you don't hate.
00:09:56 Oscar.
00:09:57 Oscar's a cat. He doesn't count.
00:10:00 I don't hate everyone.
00:10:02 Just...a lot of people.
00:10:09 How are your sessions going?
00:10:11 They're fine.
00:10:13 Aren't you going to eat that sandwich?
00:10:19 I don't even know what kind it is.
00:10:21 Well, I gotta run, sweetheart.
00:10:29 It's good to see you doing so well.
00:10:32 What's in that sandwich?
00:10:39 [crunching]
00:10:41 Damn you, Rosie.
00:10:46 She even cut the crust.
00:10:48 I told you.
00:10:50 She's good.
00:10:51 Yeah.
00:10:53 Yeah, she is.
00:10:55 Meet Simon.
00:11:05 Simon is sleeping.
00:11:07 Simon is almost always sleeping because he suffers from a rare disorder known as Klein-Levin syndrome.
00:11:13 Some symptoms include excessive food intake, irritability, disorientation, hallucinations, and an abnormally uninhibited sex drive.
00:11:26 [music]
00:11:28 Hello?
00:11:40 Hey, you're awake.
00:11:42 I'm gonna try going to an audition this morning.
00:11:44 How'd that go?
00:11:46 I don't want to talk about it.
00:11:48 Where are you going?
00:11:50 Out with Claire and her boyfriend.
00:11:53 Douchebag.
00:11:55 That's the one.
00:11:56 He's a very nice boy, Pluto.
00:11:58 You think everyone's nice.
00:11:59 No, you just hate everyone.
00:12:01 That's what my mother said, too.
00:12:04 Pick one.
00:12:06 Don't scare this guy away.
00:12:07 Okay, I'll pick one.
00:12:09 This is unhealthy, Pluto.
00:12:12 My mother says hi, by the way.
00:12:14 Hi.
00:12:21 Oh shit, give me a second.
00:12:24 I told you not to call at this time.
00:12:26 I'm sorry. I had to talk to you.
00:12:28 This really isn't a good time. If my wife--
00:12:30 I don't want to hear about your wife.
00:12:32 No, honey. No, did you try the left door?
00:12:35 No, no, no, no, the other door.
00:12:37 Hold on, I'll be right there.
00:12:39 Look, I really have to go.
00:12:40 I need to see you again.
00:12:42 I don't know if that's possible.
00:12:43 Make it possible.
00:12:44 Look, I have to go. Don't call this number again.
00:12:46 Wait, I really need to--
00:12:48 Who was that?
00:12:49 Some lady.
00:12:50 You sleep with her?
00:12:51 Maybe.
00:12:53 She thinks you're married.
00:12:55 Maybe.
00:12:56 That's real nice, Pluto.
00:12:58 What?
00:12:59 You're cheating.
00:13:00 On who? I don't have a wife.
00:13:02 But she thinks you do.
00:13:03 Right, so really, she is the cheater.
00:13:06 Is she married?
00:13:07 Not that I know of.
00:13:09 Fuck, I hope not.
00:13:11 Seriously, you need to come up with a new hobby.
00:13:13 Why? This is so much fun.
00:13:15 Plus, I get late sometimes.
00:13:16 That does not happen for Pluto.
00:13:18 You could, you know, act like a normal human being
00:13:21 and talk to a woman as, I don't know, yourself.
00:13:23 Nah, I gave that up a long time ago.
00:13:25 Probably around the same time that Olivia Whitfield rejected me.
00:13:28 Again with this girl.
00:13:30 Olivia Whitfield.
00:13:36 Oh, you remember her.
00:13:41 From the third grade to the sixth grade, we were in love.
00:13:45 We probably would have been together forever
00:13:48 if her father didn't get a job across the country
00:13:51 and move her away from me.
00:13:53 That is not how it happened at all.
00:13:56 Okay, I was not that gay.
00:13:59 A little less gay.
00:14:00 What?
00:14:01 Yeah, a little less.
00:14:03 That's not how it happened at all.
00:14:06 That's better.
00:14:09 We both know she had a crush on me.
00:14:11 She rejected you.
00:14:14 How many times you cry to my shoulder?
00:14:17 It's okay, little buddy.
00:14:20 You want to come along tonight?
00:14:32 So you make Claire's boyfriend cry again?
00:14:35 I'll pass.
00:14:36 It's great.
00:14:37 Really?
00:14:38 Really, really.
00:14:39 Do you like the style?
00:14:40 I don't know, I'm nervous about the style.
00:14:42 It's different, you know?
00:14:44 The style's great, baby.
00:14:46 You don't think it's different?
00:14:47 It's very different.
00:14:48 Yeah, but like great different, right?
00:14:50 Not like this sucks different?
00:14:51 Like awesome different.
00:14:55 Awesome different.
00:14:57 I'm proud of you.
00:14:58 I'm just so glad it's done.
00:15:00 Totally.
00:15:01 Do you think your brother might do it?
00:15:03 What?
00:15:04 I don't know, I think he'd be really great.
00:15:06 I know he probably hasn't acted in an actual play
00:15:08 since like childhood,
00:15:09 but I based a lot of the lead off of him,
00:15:12 and I don't know, I think that he would get it
00:15:14 more than anybody else.
00:15:16 We're thinking of the same person, right?
00:15:18 Yeah, you think he'd do it?
00:15:20 He doesn't know the first thing about acting, Ben.
00:15:23 How is it any different than what he's doing right now?
00:15:26 I don't know.
00:15:27 Well, I should be able to at least ask him.
00:15:29 I mean, I'm going to be his brother-in-law eventually.
00:15:32 What, am I wrong?
00:15:34 No.
00:15:38 I mean, I know he hates me.
00:15:40 He doesn't hate you, he's like that with everyone.
00:15:43 Claire, he hates me.
00:15:45 Why do you say that?
00:15:46 He calls me a douchebag to my face.
00:15:49 Well, maybe he's just joking.
00:15:52 Memorial Day weekend in the park,
00:15:55 remember when he pretended to be retarded?
00:15:57 Douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag.
00:16:04 It's not funny, I got beat up by two middle-aged women.
00:16:07 That was really awful, and come to think of it, offensive.
00:16:10 Yeah, and not to mention, I don't know, wrong?
00:16:14 Well, at least he paid for the hospital bills.
00:16:16 No, your family paid for them.
00:16:17 Well--
00:16:18 They did, he didn't pay for anything.
00:16:20 Just because you have money doesn't mean you can do whatever you want.
00:16:23 No, I know.
00:16:24 I just don't know what he has against me, I'm always so nice to him.
00:16:26 I know, you're so good, baby.
00:16:29 Really?
00:16:30 Really, really.
00:16:31 Okay, I love you.
00:16:33 I love you, too.
00:16:35 I just really hope he's not retarded again tonight.
00:16:37 Douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag.
00:16:42 Yeah, me too.
00:16:44 Let proud poets preach, let lost lovers lie,
00:16:47 just let me reside in your dreams tonight.
00:16:56 [music]
00:17:02 I just don't understand why we have to have a normal night out.
00:17:05 Why do we have to get this every single night?
00:17:10 What did you just tell that kid?
00:17:12 That I'm going to sign his band to my music agency.
00:17:16 But you don't have a music agency.
00:17:19 Yes, Ben, that's right.
00:17:21 I do not actually have a music agency.
00:17:23 Why did you do that?
00:17:24 I'm just having a little fun.
00:17:26 At what expense?
00:17:27 I didn't hurt anyone.
00:17:28 Yet those kids think that something really great just happened to them.
00:17:31 Why is that a bad thing?
00:17:32 Because it's a lie, because nothing happened to them.
00:17:35 Sure it did.
00:17:36 What happened?
00:17:37 They're going to be in the same place tomorrow that they are today.
00:17:39 Okay, but tonight they'll celebrate.
00:17:42 Tonight they will feel great.
00:17:44 Yeah, but what about tomorrow?
00:17:46 I won't be here tomorrow.
00:17:48 I think that's pretty selfish, Pluto.
00:17:50 I disagree.
00:17:51 How?
00:17:52 Well, Ben, it's actually not that hard.
00:17:54 All I do is take the previous statement and negate it,
00:17:57 and therefore I've not agreed with it, i.e. disagree.
00:18:00 Don't be an asshole.
00:18:01 That's what Mom said, too.
00:18:02 How can you possibly think that that's not selfish?
00:18:05 Well, A, because this has nothing to do with me,
00:18:08 and B, because, okay, they're not gaining anything,
00:18:12 but they're not losing anything either.
00:18:14 Because of me, tonight their night will be a little bit better.
00:18:17 That's retarded.
00:18:19 That is not a very nice word, Ben.
00:18:21 I thought we learned that this summer.
00:18:22 Pluto, stop.
00:18:23 Why do you hang out with this guy?
00:18:24 Paul.
00:18:25 You just work out your daddy issues.
00:18:29 I gotta go.
00:18:30 More people to lie to.
00:18:32 No, silly.
00:18:33 More people to excite.
00:18:35 I told you.
00:18:40 He hates me.
00:18:43 [music]
00:18:45 Wake up.
00:19:03 What?
00:19:04 Wake up, Simon. Wake up. I need your help.
00:19:06 I'm sleeping.
00:19:07 It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, Simon. I need your help.
00:19:10 It's a disease, Pluto. If I could wake up, I would.
00:19:13 You can. You can for me. Now get up.
00:19:15 What is it?
00:19:16 I'm going back to sleep.
00:19:19 No, no, no, no, no. Get up. This is important. This is serious.
00:19:22 [groans]
00:19:23 Seventh grade talent show.
00:19:24 You begged me for weeks to sing "Bosom Buddies" from the musical "Mane."
00:19:28 It's a female duet, Simon, but I did it.
00:19:31 I did it because you begged.
00:19:33 This is me begging.
00:19:35 Okay.
00:19:37 Okay.
00:19:39 Wait.
00:19:40 What is it?
00:19:41 I saw her today.
00:19:42 Who?
00:19:43 Olivia.
00:19:44 Well, how did you know it was her?
00:19:46 She looked exactly the same.
00:19:48 Creepy.
00:19:50 She's age 15 years, Simon. I just knew it was her.
00:19:54 Did you talk to her?
00:19:56 Not exactly.
00:19:57 Oh, my God. You followed her.
00:20:00 I just-- I walked in the same direction.
00:20:03 But she went to the park, to my spot in the park.
00:20:08 What are the chances?
00:20:10 I'll be here tomorrow. I'm here, like, every day.
00:20:15 Listen, I need to come up with the best person I've ever come up with.
00:20:20 The sexiest, most appealing guy you can think of.
00:20:23 What?
00:20:24 She's not blind, Pluto.
00:20:26 I mean, if she saw you, she's gonna know who you are.
00:20:29 Oh, my God.
00:20:31 She's not blind, right?
00:20:33 No, she didn't see me. I hid.
00:20:35 Maybe you're getting a little too excited about this.
00:20:37 She might recognize you when she does see you.
00:20:39 And what if she has a boyfriend?
00:20:41 I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
00:20:43 Okay, well, let's say you do impress this girl.
00:20:46 Then what?
00:20:48 If she's so special, wouldn't you want to impress her as yourself?
00:20:51 What's impressive about me?
00:20:53 I'm just like everybody else, okay?
00:20:55 Everyone else isn't impressive.
00:20:57 I need to be better than everyone else.
00:20:59 What do women like?
00:21:01 Their boyfriends?
00:21:02 You don't know if she has a boyfriend.
00:21:04 Pluto.
00:21:05 Please.
00:21:06 I love a cute European guy.
00:21:08 Okay, hey, yeah, yeah, that's good.
00:21:11 What languages have you studied?
00:21:12 My Latin is impeccable.
00:21:14 Pluto.
00:21:15 Any ideas?
00:21:17 I dated a French guy before.
00:21:19 He was adorable.
00:21:21 Oh, yeah?
00:21:22 Oh, my God, yes.
00:21:24 So hot.
00:21:25 I mean, I couldn't tell you half the shit he said to me,
00:21:27 but it didn't matter.
00:21:29 There's just something about that cute little accent.
00:21:33 I should really call him.
00:21:35 What was his name?
00:21:37 Sebastian.
00:21:39 Oh, I like that.
00:21:41 Are you going to see this girl again?
00:21:42 Definitely.
00:21:43 Well, tell her I said, "Hey, girl."
00:21:45 I'm going to go practice this accent.
00:21:47 Great, fine, whatever.
00:21:48 Let me know how it works out.
00:21:51 And when I get up, I'm going to find that tape from the talent show
00:21:54 and put it on YouTube.
00:21:56 I'll kill you.
00:21:57 [singing]
00:22:10 [music]
00:22:26 Married.
00:22:29 She didn't show up.
00:22:30 I was sure she would.
00:22:32 I wasn't going back.
00:22:33 That was it.
00:22:34 She lost her chance.
00:22:35 Had you planned on meeting?
00:22:36 No, no, we never actually talked about it or anything,
00:22:38 but, you know, I expected her there.
00:22:41 And then I got angry and sad,
00:22:43 and I thought about doing some really awful things.
00:22:46 A five, six, seven, eight.
00:22:48 [music]
00:22:54 When I ask for a right batma and a double,
00:22:56 I better get a right batma and a double.
00:22:59 What is this, people?
00:23:00 Community theater?
00:23:01 Now, as your guidance counselor,
00:23:03 I would recommend taking my advice.
00:23:07 Have you considered clown college?
00:23:10 [music]
00:23:11 [screams]
00:23:12 Wait, you robbed someone?
00:23:14 No, Greg, I didn't do any of those things.
00:23:16 What kind of person do you think I am?
00:23:18 I'm sorry.
00:23:19 It's all right.
00:23:20 No, that was so rude of me.
00:23:21 I really shouldn't have done that.
00:23:22 I appreciate the concern.
00:23:23 And the wallet saves us a lot of time.
00:23:25 Yeah, having to call and cancel the credit cards.
00:23:27 And getting a new license at the DMV is the worst.
00:23:29 The worst.
00:23:30 I don't even think I have much money in here.
00:23:32 Nope, $6.
00:23:33 Look at that.
00:23:34 Six bucks.
00:23:35 A waste of everyone's time in the end.
00:23:37 I don't even have a gun.
00:23:38 [laughs]
00:23:39 Oh, oh.
00:23:40 [music]
00:23:43 Oh, well, nice to have met you guys.
00:23:45 Yeah, you too.
00:23:46 Hey, good luck with Olivia.
00:23:47 Yeah, I hope she shows up the next time you go looking for her.
00:23:49 Thanks.
00:23:50 You know, I'm really just frustrated.
00:23:51 I thought you said you didn't do that.
00:23:53 I didn't.
00:23:54 I went back to wait for her the next day after all.
00:23:56 [music]
00:23:59 Excuse me, sir.
00:24:00 Could I just take a moment of your time?
00:24:01 Hold on.
00:24:02 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:24:03 Do you not speak English?
00:24:04 Oui.
00:24:05 Oh, good.
00:24:06 Because the first thing you said to me was in French.
00:24:08 And that was in French.
00:24:10 I'm sorry.
00:24:11 Do you speak English?
00:24:12 Yes.
00:24:13 Oh, good.
00:24:14 Oui, oui.
00:24:15 Well, could I just take one minute of your time?
00:24:17 Can we sit?
00:24:19 Sit?
00:24:20 I am in a rush.
00:24:21 Are you?
00:24:22 No, I guess not.
00:24:24 So, let's sit, please, s'il vous plaît.
00:24:27 Hi, I'm Olivia.
00:24:30 Sebastian.
00:24:32 Oh, what a nice name.
00:24:34 Nobody here has nice names like that anymore.
00:24:36 I mean, everything is so typical and bland.
00:24:38 I was in Europe for a year for study abroad in college.
00:24:41 Everyone there had such great names.
00:24:43 Did you visit France?
00:24:45 Yeah, I was in Paris for like a week.
00:24:47 It was amazing.
00:24:48 How is your French?
00:24:49 Oh, terrible.
00:24:50 I can't speak a word of it.
00:24:52 Oh, I totally forgot why we were here.
00:24:55 I'm with RHM.
00:24:56 We're a human rights group.
00:24:58 We focus mainly on financially tripled families like me.
00:25:01 I am afraid I do not have much money to help you.
00:25:06 Oh, no, that's okay.
00:25:08 Any compensation can help, really.
00:25:10 If you just give me your info, I can send you details.
00:25:12 You can send in a check of however much you want.
00:25:14 And if you're just being nice to me, that's okay, too.
00:25:18 But it's really a great program to learn about.
00:25:22 Why don't you just give me your info and you can decide for yourself.
00:25:27 How about this?
00:25:29 How about we sit right here and you tell me everything that I need to know?
00:25:37 Well, I kind of have to go around a little more.
00:25:41 I'm supposed to cover this whole area by a certain hour.
00:25:44 Oh.
00:25:45 But I'll be here tomorrow.
00:25:48 Will you be around?
00:25:50 I will be right here.
00:25:53 You know, something about you looks so familiar.
00:25:56 I don't know, just something about your face.
00:25:58 You remind me of someone or something.
00:26:01 Do you get that a lot?
00:26:02 Not usually.
00:26:04 Maybe we met in Paris.
00:26:06 Maybe it's destiny.
00:26:07 Whoa, I don't know about that.
00:26:09 Am I using the wrong word?
00:26:12 No, it's just a little dramatic.
00:26:18 Oh, no, no, I hate the taste.
00:26:24 But you go ahead.
00:26:26 I'll see you tomorrow, Sebastian.
00:26:29 Au revoir, Olivia.
00:26:31 Au revoir.
00:26:33 Oh, my God.
00:26:39 [theme music]
00:26:42 Well, hello there, sir.
00:26:49 My name is Steve.
00:26:50 I'm going to go right ahead and be your server today.
00:26:53 Okay, we're going to kick off with the specials.
00:26:55 We have the soup of the day, the tomato bisque.
00:26:57 Our fish of the day is the black and salmon--
00:26:59 Yeah, I'm not going to be ordering any of that shit.
00:27:00 Can you just go get me a coffee?
00:27:01 Black?
00:27:02 Thanks, I'm going to be meeting someone any minute.
00:27:04 Oh, okay.
00:27:06 I'll get that while you're waiting.
00:27:08 Thanks.
00:27:10 Excuse me, sir.
00:27:14 Christ.
00:27:16 Would you mind if I joined you for a few moments?
00:27:20 Yeah, I guess for a minute.
00:27:21 Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:27:23 I just--I hate sitting alone.
00:27:26 Right.
00:27:28 Why, hello there, madam.
00:27:29 How are you today?
00:27:30 I'm fine, thank you.
00:27:31 Coffee, sir.
00:27:32 Would you like to eat today's specials?
00:27:33 No, no, no, she's not going to stay.
00:27:34 Yes, I would love to.
00:27:36 Oh, would you?
00:27:37 That's great.
00:27:38 All right, then, today we have the soup of the day,
00:27:40 the tomato bisque.
00:27:41 Very good soup.
00:27:42 Very good, banging.
00:27:43 Bisque, banging, okay?
00:27:45 The fish of the day is the black and salmon.
00:27:47 We went right ahead and blackened that up for you.
00:27:49 And that's going to about conclude the specials for today.
00:27:53 All right?
00:27:54 Yes.
00:27:55 Oh, please, you don't have to.
00:27:56 Please, thank you.
00:27:57 That was a wonderful presentation.
00:28:00 Thank you.
00:28:02 I will have a glass of water.
00:28:05 Of course.
00:28:07 This is my grandson, Stuart.
00:28:23 Isn't he adorable?
00:28:25 He's great.
00:28:28 Yes, he's adorable.
00:28:31 May I ask you something?
00:28:35 Sure.
00:28:37 A sweet old lady comes and asks you for some company,
00:28:41 and you won't even give her the time of day.
00:28:44 Why is that?
00:28:45 Look, I'm sorry, I'm just--
00:28:46 I'm waiting here for someone, and it's really important--
00:28:48 This is why you don't deserve my sister.
00:28:51 What?
00:28:52 You heard me, you little shit.
00:28:54 Pluto?
00:28:56 You see, she can do a lot better than you.
00:28:58 To be frank, I fucking hate you.
00:29:03 I think that you are a real douchebag, Ben.
00:29:09 Who the fuck are you?
00:29:10 You're dressed up like an old woman.
00:29:12 You're sick, man.
00:29:13 You're saying pretty awful things to an old lady in a public place.
00:29:16 You are not a fucking old lady.
00:29:18 Hey, everyone, look at this asshole.
00:29:21 This is not an old lady.
00:29:23 This is a man dressed up in an old lady's suit.
00:29:26 I can't believe how retarded I am.
00:29:28 You're clearly wearing a mask.
00:29:30 Is everything okay?
00:29:31 Yes, Steve, yes, yes.
00:29:33 He's my son.
00:29:34 He's just on a short break from the Levenson Institute down the road.
00:29:39 Take it easy, son.
00:29:40 He's lying to you.
00:29:41 If you don't calm down, I'm going to have to go right ahead and ask you to leave.
00:29:45 Oh, eat me, Steve.
00:29:47 Oh, my heavens.
00:29:48 Steven, Steven, dear, thank you, thank you for your help.
00:29:51 I have a very kind of you, very kind.
00:29:53 Thank you.
00:29:54 [♪♪♪]
00:30:05 My sister told me that you wanted to ask me to be in your play.
00:30:09 Ben, I wouldn't be in your fucking play if Shakespeare himself helped you write it.
00:30:15 Douchebag.
00:30:17 [♪♪♪]
00:30:41 I used to work at a cafe last summer.
00:30:44 God, it was so awful.
00:30:46 Why?
00:30:47 I don't know, shitty pay, shitty boss.
00:30:51 You know, I remember running home literally every time I left work.
00:30:56 I mean, not the whole way.
00:30:57 I would walk because it was pretty close.
00:30:59 But as soon as I got around the corner to my house, I would just take off.
00:31:03 Like when you have to go to the bathroom, is it closer to the toilet?
00:31:08 Yeah, exactly.
00:31:10 Oh, that was my favorite part of the day, just the running.
00:31:14 I felt like a little kid again, you know?
00:31:16 I mean, how often is it that you see grown adults running?
00:31:20 Natural science.
00:31:22 Okay, that doesn't count.
00:31:24 No, it's usually when it's something bad or like something's wrong.
00:31:28 But that's not how it was at all.
00:31:31 Ask me something.
00:31:36 Ask me anything.
00:31:38 Anything?
00:31:39 Yeah, go for it.
00:31:42 What do you want to do with your life?
00:31:46 That's a loaded question.
00:31:49 You said anything.
00:31:51 It seems like an important thing to know about a person.
00:31:55 Well, I guess I don't really know.
00:31:58 Me either.
00:32:01 Really?
00:32:02 Really, really.
00:32:04 Well, do you think that's a bad thing?
00:32:06 I think it is what it is.
00:32:11 But at least you have something that you are passionate about, something that you believe in.
00:32:16 I guess.
00:32:18 I mean, honestly, it's just something to help pass the time.
00:32:21 My heart's not in it.
00:32:23 I mean, I feel good.
00:32:24 I'm legitimately helping people, but I don't know.
00:32:27 It's not enough.
00:32:29 I'm lonely here, you know?
00:32:31 And you wouldn't think it would be in this city, but it is.
00:32:34 I mean, it's probably why I'm babbling to a complete stranger.
00:32:38 Hey, not a complete stranger.
00:32:40 New friend.
00:32:42 You know this can only end badly, right?
00:32:44 Yeah, but it'll be a great story.
00:32:47 But you came in here so excited, so energetic.
00:32:50 It's great to hear someone talk about another person like that.
00:32:53 It's infectious.
00:32:55 So now I'm living vicariously through you, Pluto.
00:32:59 Why do you want to screw this up?
00:33:01 Well, it's too late now, don't you think?
00:33:03 No, I don't.
00:33:04 I think if you told her now, maybe you could pass it off as a joke.
00:33:07 A one or two time thing, you know, kind of weird, sure.
00:33:10 But women love to laugh.
00:33:13 At least most women do.
00:33:15 It'll give her a good laugh.
00:33:17 No, she wouldn't buy that.
00:33:19 I'll just pretend as long as I can.
00:33:21 Are you afraid of having something real?
00:33:23 What?
00:33:25 Something real between two people.
00:33:27 No.
00:33:29 You go around hiding behind these people you make up.
00:33:32 Why is it fair for you to ask someone to care for someone who doesn't even care about himself?
00:33:36 Are you married, Greg?
00:33:38 Uh, yeah. Yes, I am.
00:33:41 And how's that work out for you?
00:33:43 It's fine.
00:33:46 Why do you ask?
00:33:48 Well, the first time I came in here, you were getting high in your office.
00:33:52 You don't really strike me as the pothead type, so I figure something must be stressing you out.
00:33:57 Not getting laid?
00:33:59 Not really any of your business, Paul.
00:34:01 Pluto.
00:34:02 Right, Pluto.
00:34:03 Why did you get so defensive when I asked you a question?
00:34:05 Why'd you get so defensive when I brought up your wife?
00:34:07 That's enough talk about my wife.
00:34:09 Okay.
00:34:11 I'm sorry. You don't need to get all Goodwill hunting on me.
00:34:15 Tell me.
00:34:17 So, um...
00:34:23 So I've been dreaming in cartoon.
00:34:26 What?
00:34:27 Yeah, it's weird, I know.
00:34:29 Actually, it sounds kind of cool.
00:34:31 Are you the cartoon, or is the entire dream a cartoon?
00:34:34 The whole thing.
00:34:36 I'm not always me, too. I mean, I'm always there, but it's weird.
00:34:39 I don't even really remember it often, but...
00:34:42 Well, last night's was pretty vivid.
00:34:43 Oh, yeah?
00:34:44 Yeah. Kind of depressing, really.
00:34:47 You see, there was no color. It was all in black and white.
00:34:50 And I was this little mouse, living in one of those semicircle holes in the family's kitchen that you only actually see in cartoons.
00:34:56 And all around the room there were these random vases and containers.
00:35:00 And every so often, this guy would drop something inside the containers.
00:35:03 But I could never see his face. It was always covered, like that Magritte painting with the apple.
00:35:09 But the thing that he dropped inside, I know that I want it.
00:35:13 I need it.
00:35:14 So I decide to climb to the tallest and highest one of these containers, because I'm gonna get it.
00:35:20 But when I finally get to the top, I fall in.
00:35:23 Suddenly, I'm surrounded by coins, and every time I try to get out, the man with the covered face hits me on top of the head with another one.
00:35:30 So I lay there.
00:35:32 Alone.
00:35:34 Have you ever died in a dream, Greg?
00:35:36 It's an awful thing.
00:35:38 That's what this felt like.
00:35:41 Suddenly, I'm in this grocery store, and the man with the covered face is counting his change in one of those coin counting machines.
00:35:48 And I fall out.
00:35:50 A dead mouse in a pool of money.
00:35:55 And then I woke up. But, um, I don't take dreams too seriously.
00:36:00 Well, what do you think it means?
00:36:03 Nothing. I think it's a random assortment of ideas and thoughts meshed together in my head.
00:36:08 Well, you brought it up for a reason.
00:36:15 Poor mouse never even had a chance.
00:36:18 Sorry, Mrs. Danzing, I...
00:36:21 Okay. Um...
00:36:24 No, I...
00:36:26 Mm-hmm.
00:36:28 There's no need to curse, Mrs. Danzing.
00:36:31 I'm going to transfer you right now.
00:36:37 Mary was, um...
00:36:39 Was that Dr. Danzing's wife?
00:36:41 I don't...
00:36:43 I don't really think I'm supposed to share that sort of information.
00:36:47 Mary, it's not a big deal. We'll keep it between us.
00:36:51 Well, yeah, yeah, that was her. Yeah.
00:36:54 And she's... she's... she's a bitch.
00:36:57 She's a huge bitch.
00:36:59 You know, she's just... she... you look at her and you can tell she's a mean person.
00:37:03 She probably stabs her friends in the back. Right?
00:37:05 One of those bitches. You know what I'm talking about, right?
00:37:08 She's one of those bitches that all the other bitches love to talk about, but then when she comes around, they clam up because they only wish they could be as bitchy as she is.
00:37:16 She probably has some big bitch trophy at home that reads, "I'm the world's biggest bitch."
00:37:20 And if you argue with me, or blink, or breathe, or do anything, I will shove this bitch trophy up your ass.
00:37:26 That kind of bitch. Yeah.
00:37:31 Are you okay?
00:37:33 I'm fine.
00:37:36 I have a picture of her from last Christmas party. Here.
00:37:41 Judge for yourself.
00:37:43 Pretty, right?
00:37:45 She's a huge bitch.
00:37:48 Well, that's a coincidence.
00:37:49 What is?
00:37:51 Oh, no, I can see right here in this picture. What a bitch.
00:37:55 I'll take my hands off.
00:37:58 How is that a coincidence?
00:38:00 I'll see you next week, Mary.
00:38:02 Okay, honey.
00:38:04 Stupid bitch.
00:38:06 Bitch.
00:38:08 Okay.
00:38:11 [Music]
00:38:25 [Singing]
00:38:42 You have to be fucking kidding me.
00:38:45 Pluto.
00:38:47 [Singing]
00:39:05 I don't suppose you want to smoke?
00:39:07 Your mother is pretty pissed off.
00:39:09 Okay.
00:39:10 Do you not care at all?
00:39:11 I didn't do anything wrong.
00:39:13 It is abnormal, Pluto. Do you realize that?
00:39:16 What you're doing is not something that people do every day.
00:39:19 It is out of the ordinary. It is abnormal.
00:39:22 And your mom is really upset.
00:39:24 She doesn't like this at all.
00:39:26 You know she can cut off your funds.
00:39:27 No, she can't.
00:39:28 Yes, she can. Your father's money is in her name.
00:39:30 We just talked about it.
00:39:31 I don't see what the big deal is.
00:39:33 Because it's not healthy, Pluto.
00:39:35 You can't lie to people the way you do.
00:39:38 What would you do?
00:39:39 What?
00:39:40 What would you do if you had no more money?
00:39:42 You couldn't afford that expensive apartment of yours.
00:39:44 You know, you'd have to get a job.
00:39:46 You'd have to pay for your rent, your health insurance, your cell phone bill.
00:39:49 You'd need to buy food.
00:39:50 Okay, I got it.
00:39:52 Look, I'm going to prescribe you something.
00:40:02 I don't need it.
00:40:03 It's benzodiazepine, a generic form of Xanax.
00:40:07 It's often used to treat people with tension, anxiety, and depression.
00:40:13 I'm not crazy.
00:40:15 It's pretty strong.
00:40:18 People get hooked on it pretty easily, so only take it when you feel like doing what you do.
00:40:23 Is this because I brought up your wife?
00:40:25 Look, man, I meant no harm, okay?
00:40:27 I can't force you to take this, but it's my medical recommendation.
00:40:35 I'm disappointed in you, Greg.
00:40:37 Oh, fuck.
00:40:51 What the hell, man?
00:40:56 Do you need some cash?
00:40:58 Put it up.
00:41:00 I'm sleeping.
00:41:02 What else is new?
00:41:04 What's your problem?
00:41:06 We're back.
00:41:08 What did I fucking say?
00:41:12 I'm sorry.
00:41:13 Do you have problems following simple directions?
00:41:15 I said one fucking person.
00:41:17 I couldn't leave him in my parents' house alone.
00:41:19 I'm sorry.
00:41:20 For five fucking minutes, he couldn't be alone.
00:41:22 His mom doesn't like me, man.
00:41:23 I wonder why.
00:41:24 What's your problem?
00:41:25 You're my fucking problem, asshole.
00:41:27 Do you want this shit or not?
00:41:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we want it.
00:41:30 A hundred bucks.
00:41:31 That's ridiculous.
00:41:32 Get the fuck out of my car.
00:41:34 Dude.
00:41:35 Get the fuck out now.
00:41:36 No, no, here, here, here, here.
00:41:38 It's in the dashboard.
00:41:39 Put the shit in there, too.
00:41:41 Now get the fuck out of my car.
00:41:48 Fuck.
00:41:49 Fuck.
00:41:50 Fuck.
00:41:52 Fuck.
00:41:53 Fuck.
00:41:54 Fuck.
00:41:56 [Music]
00:41:59 [Music]
00:42:02 [Music]
00:42:05 [Music]
00:42:08 [Music]
00:42:11 [Music]
00:42:13 [Music]
00:42:19 [Music]
00:42:25 [Music]
00:42:31 [Music]
00:42:37 [Music]
00:42:39 [Music]
00:42:45 [Music]
00:42:51 [Music]
00:42:57 [Music]
00:43:03 [Music]
00:43:05 [Music]
00:43:15 [Music]
00:43:31 Um, I don't want to leave, but I have to go catch a train back to Jersey from tomorrow.
00:43:36 But can I see you the day after?
00:43:39 You will see me as long as you want to.
00:43:42 Good.
00:43:43 'Cause I want to see you the day after.
00:43:46 And maybe the day after that.
00:43:48 And probably the day after that.
00:43:51 And I guess we'll see about the day after that.
00:43:54 [Music]
00:43:57 [Music]
00:43:59 Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:44:04 That's that guy from the van.
00:44:06 That's the dude that ripped us off, dude.
00:44:08 Who?
00:44:10 Him! That mole right there.
00:44:11 That's the dude from the van, man.
00:44:13 The guy in the van?
00:44:14 Yeah.
00:44:15 I don't think so, man.
00:44:16 No, that's definitely him, dude.
00:44:17 That asshole owes me a hundred bucks.
00:44:18 Come on.
00:44:19 [Music]
00:44:25 Hey, Ben.
00:44:27 You got a couple cavities to do.
00:44:29 You've done this before.
00:44:30 It's really pretty easy.
00:44:31 First thing I'm going to do is tip you back just a little bit.
00:44:34 Just this light.
00:44:36 That's good.
00:44:37 A little bit of Novocaine.
00:44:40 [Knock on door]
00:44:41 Hold on.
00:44:42 Matthew!
00:44:43 Ben, Matthew's here.
00:44:44 Matthew's a student at NYU.
00:44:46 He's going to help us today.
00:44:48 Matthew, why don't you give him a little bit of Novocaine?
00:44:52 [Music]
00:44:55 You didn't have to gas him.
00:45:02 Oh.
00:45:03 I guess I misunderstood.
00:45:05 Yes, I've got to come home and change.
00:45:06 What time is your party?
00:45:07 Four o'clock.
00:45:08 Four o'clock?
00:45:09 Hey, aren't you the douchebag from last summer's picnic?
00:45:14 Are you serious?
00:45:16 You make me sick.
00:45:18 No, not again.
00:45:19 [Music]
00:45:22 We got fucking robbed, Pluto.
00:45:26 I got fucking robbed.
00:45:28 What are you doing?
00:45:29 Shouldn't we call the police or something?
00:45:31 And say what?
00:45:32 Oh, please help me, officer.
00:45:33 These bad men who I sold drugs to came and stole my other drugs.
00:45:37 You sold drugs?
00:45:38 Well, not actually.
00:45:39 I actually sold them children's vitamins and told them they were drugs.
00:45:42 This is because of one of your fucking characters, isn't it?
00:45:45 I told you, there are consequences.
00:45:47 You can't just go around being whoever you want and doing whatever you want and expect it not to bite you in the ass.
00:45:53 Watch me.
00:45:54 You're doing it now?
00:45:57 I have to put these little shits in their place.
00:45:59 Pluto, I almost got killed. Does that mean anything to you?
00:46:02 You didn't almost get killed, okay? You slept through a robbery.
00:46:05 Okay, fine, this time. But what about next time?
00:46:07 There won't be a next time.
00:46:09 But how do you know?
00:46:10 You don't, because you're going to keep doing this shit until something really terrible happens.
00:46:15 I'll get an alarm.
00:46:17 You're such a brat.
00:46:18 Excuse me?
00:46:19 You're a little selfish brat.
00:46:22 Okay, I need to go fix this.
00:46:24 So fix it by staying, by getting your apartment together.
00:46:27 I'm sorry.
00:46:29 Okay, I'm leaving.
00:46:30 To where?
00:46:31 I don't know. Home.
00:46:32 What do you mean home? This is your home.
00:46:34 No, I can't be here anymore.
00:46:35 Simon, you're not going to come to Thanksgiving with me?
00:46:38 Frankly, I don't want to go anywhere with you.
00:46:40 Simon.
00:46:41 I must admit it, it's about time. I've been mooching off you for long enough.
00:46:45 I like when you mooch off of me.
00:46:47 My mom's going to be home alone tonight. I'm going to go spend Thanksgiving with her.
00:46:52 After what she did, you're just going to let that slide?
00:46:55 She's my mother, and you can call me crazy, but yeah, it's enough for me to let it slide.
00:47:00 And what about me?
00:47:02 I just need to go home.
00:47:04 Fine. Leave your key.
00:47:08 What?
00:47:09 This isn't a hotel. Leave your key and go.
00:47:17 Okay then.
00:47:22 Okay then.
00:47:29 [phone rings]
00:47:37 Hello?
00:47:39 Yes, Pluto.
00:47:42 Why? How late?
00:47:49 What the fuck is that?
00:47:51 It's Thanksgiving. Do you know what that is?
00:47:55 You ordered pizza?
00:47:57 Have you ever heard of it? Or is it maybe a foreign concept to you?
00:48:01 Did you really think I was going to let that slide?
00:48:03 Oh, fuck is wrong.
00:48:05 Sit down. Go. Have a slice.
00:48:08 Why isn't he coming?
00:48:11 Okay, tell him I said I hope he's feeling better soon.
00:48:15 It's pizza. It's free. Shut up and eat the fucking pizza.
00:48:19 Rosie, something is burning up here.
00:48:22 Is that a fake mustache?
00:48:24 Yeah, what's with your accent?
00:48:25 Shut up.
00:48:26 Fine, fine. Just come as soon as you can.
00:48:29 You ripped us off. What did you expect us to do?
00:48:33 Goodbye.
00:48:34 Why would you eat something that the guy you just robbed gave you?
00:48:40 Ms. Strauss, is there something I can help you with?
00:48:43 Oh, no. Thanks for asking, dear.
00:48:46 Don't worry. You guys will wake up.
00:48:48 Oh, you look beautiful.
00:48:50 I can hardly wait till Paul comes and sees what a lady you've become.
00:48:54 Rosie, something is definitely burning.
00:48:57 You fucking...
00:49:02 This is plastic, by the way.
00:49:06 Sorry I'm late.
00:49:18 Oh, well. Look who showed up just in time for dessert.
00:49:23 Pluto, you remember Mr. and Mrs. Whitfield and their daughter Olivia?
00:49:29 Oh, my God.
00:49:31 Well, says everybody.
00:49:33 I know it must have been years since you've seen each other.
00:49:36 Yeah, it feels like yesterday.
00:49:38 Oh, right. You kids have that Facebook or whatever it is.
00:49:42 It kind of kills the spirit of reunion.
00:49:45 When did you get a Facebook?
00:49:47 See?
00:49:48 You didn't even Facebook me.
00:49:51 I'm sorry.
00:50:00 Olivia, please.
00:50:02 What do you want?
00:50:04 Let me explain.
00:50:06 Do you even speak French?
00:50:08 I know like five words.
00:50:10 I hate you.
00:50:11 No, please let me explain. I didn't mean for this to happen like this.
00:50:15 Leave me alone.
00:50:17 Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but Claire and I have an announcement to make.
00:50:23 What is this?
00:50:25 First of all, I'd like to apologize for my appearance.
00:50:30 I ran into a little trouble earlier.
00:50:34 Anyways, as you all know, Claire and I have been dating for some time now.
00:50:41 Yeah?
00:50:42 And, well, we're getting married.
00:50:47 You're what?
00:50:52 Pluto, please.
00:50:53 Wait, you're going to marry this guy?
00:50:55 Pluto, don't be rude.
00:50:57 Claire, what the hell are you thinking?
00:50:58 Pluto, shut up. Seriously.
00:51:00 This guy's a douchebag. He just wants our money.
00:51:02 Pluto, nobody cares what you think.
00:51:04 I can't believe you're going to fall for his lies.
00:51:06 What'd you say?
00:51:07 You heard me, cock boy.
00:51:09 My...my lies.
00:51:13 Look, I'd like to tell you all a little story about my good friend Pluto here.
00:51:17 Shut up, douchebag.
00:51:19 Pluto is a magnificent liar.
00:51:21 What?
00:51:22 He lies all the damn time.
00:51:24 Shut up.
00:51:25 Pluto...oh, well, see, that's a lie right there. That's not even his real name.
00:51:28 I will climb across this table and I will beat you in the face.
00:51:30 Besides that, Pluto likes to dress up as people and play Fantasyland all day long.
00:51:36 That's not true.
00:51:37 Yes, it is. I've seen him do it.
00:51:39 He screws with people and he gets off on it.
00:51:42 Lie after lie after lie.
00:51:45 Is that right?
00:51:46 No, no, that's not how it was with you, okay? Everything was true with you.
00:51:48 Right, because you're...you're clearly French.
00:51:52 And not some stupid kid I met in grade school.
00:51:54 No, no, no, how I feel, okay? How I...everything was true.
00:51:57 Mrs. Strauss, thank you very much for a wonderful Thanksgiving.
00:52:01 Congratulations on your engagement.
00:52:04 I'm not feeling that great, so I'm going to excuse myself.
00:52:09 It was really nice to see all of you again. I'll see you at home.
00:52:13 Wait, Olivia, hold on. Can I see you tomorrow?
00:52:16 Why would I see you tomorrow? I don't even know who you are.
00:52:21 Well, congratulations, sweetheart. I'm so happy for you both.
00:52:43 Thanks, Mom.
00:52:44 Way to go, douchebag.
00:52:48 [piano music]
00:52:55 When you're down and you're out
00:53:00 The world spins you 'round
00:53:04 The sky's anything but blue
00:53:10 Simply recall this summer day
00:53:15 Smile and sunshine in your face
00:53:20 And that, baby, I'm nothing without you
00:53:26 And when it rains, let it pour
00:53:36 Let it sweep through the door
00:53:41 For all your sorrows dry in June
00:53:47 Just think of the promise that we made
00:53:51 Laughing for hours in the shade
00:53:55 You'll say, baby, I'm nothing without you
00:54:03 Well, I tried walking alone
00:54:08 Out in the cold
00:54:13 Storm winds blowing black and blue
00:54:19 But when that moment arrived
00:54:24 With your lips touching mine
00:54:27 It got me through
00:54:31 You got me through
00:54:35 So pick a cloud in the sky
00:54:40 Or a bird humming by
00:54:45 And curl in closer 'neath its tune
00:54:51 For if you can't find your sunny way
00:54:55 You can take comfort in your pain
00:55:01 'Cause, baby, I'm nothing
00:55:05 Sweet baby, I'm nothing
00:55:09 My baby, I'm nothing
00:55:15 Without you
00:55:22 Now, he was a douchebag.
00:55:29 I know. Do you?
00:55:32 Days like this make you remember.
00:55:35 Well, it's about time you should.
00:55:40 You've been mourning a man who's been dead for years.
00:55:43 A man you were never particularly fond of, as I recall.
00:55:47 He was a jerk. All the time.
00:55:50 All the time.
00:55:52 You married him.
00:55:54 He was really very handsome, and I thought I could change him.
00:55:59 But that man never cared about anybody but himself, and you know it.
00:56:07 Still, we come here every year because he was a person, and he died, and it's the right thing to do.
00:56:17 And he left us with financial security for the rest of our lives, and we should be thankful for that.
00:56:24 I hate the money.
00:56:26 You'd be whistling a different tune if you didn't have it.
00:56:31 Although sometimes I wish we didn't have any of it.
00:56:36 You wouldn't act the way you do.
00:56:42 I'm sorry.
00:56:47 I've come to a decision.
00:56:50 You will no longer play the games you've been playing with your life, with our lives.
00:56:56 Cut this shit out.
00:56:59 No more wins, no more costumes, no more silly disguises.
00:57:05 You forgot to grow up. Be the man in the family, something your father could never do.
00:57:12 Just take this day to remember who he was and what not to do with your life.
00:57:20 Or don't expect a scent of his ever again.
00:57:26 Okay.
00:57:31 I talked with the man who worked with him years ago.
00:57:35 He said he could set you up with a job starting next week.
00:57:38 There, handed you on a platter, as usual.
00:57:44 I expect you there.
00:57:47 I want you to at least try.
00:57:49 You owe me that much, Paul.
00:57:51 Oh, and one more on the subject.
00:57:53 Paul, that's your fucking name.
00:57:57 I'm your mother, I birthed you, I named you.
00:58:01 If anything else, I should be left with that.
00:58:05 What is this Pluto baloney, anyway?
00:58:10 Dad died around the same time that they were known as Pluto, as a planet.
00:58:14 I just didn't think it was very fair.
00:58:16 I mean, he was the underdog planet.
00:58:21 I just thought it was a cool name, and I knew it was the only time I'd be able to get away with it.
00:58:29 Well, cut the shit out.
00:58:34 [Music]
00:58:57 [Music]
00:59:08 I hate the sight of your face.
00:59:13 I hate the sight of your face, too.
00:59:17 Your play is good.
00:59:19 Really?
00:59:20 Yes.
00:59:21 And admitting that is... it's hard.
00:59:24 It's really hard.
00:59:25 It's like being choked to death by a snake, an evil snake, that makes you eat mushrooms.
00:59:31 Mushrooms?
00:59:33 I hate mushrooms.
00:59:35 I don't think I should be in it.
00:59:38 Why not?
00:59:39 Because I don't know the first thing about acting, Ben.
00:59:43 Well, I love mushrooms.
00:59:48 And I will eat that plate for you, because I think you could be great.
00:59:55 Especially at this.
00:59:58 Okay.
01:00:00 Okay?
01:00:01 Sure.
01:00:02 Where is this thing happening?
01:00:03 Festivals in Brooklyn.
01:00:04 No, no, no, no, no. I don't do other boroughs.
01:00:07 I'll get you your own place. It's my treat.
01:00:09 Really?
01:00:10 Sure.
01:00:12 Wow, thank you.
01:00:14 And I don't care if you're marrying Claire, don't ever call me brother.
01:00:19 Okay.
01:00:23 Okay.
01:00:26 Okay.
01:00:29 Okay.
01:00:31 Okay.
01:00:32 Okay.
01:00:33 Okay.
01:00:34 Yeah, okay.
01:00:35 Okay.
01:00:36 Okay.
01:00:37 Okay. Take care now.
01:00:41 Okay.
01:00:43 Okay.
01:00:49 Okay.
01:00:52 Okay.
01:00:57 Okay.
01:01:02 Okay.
01:01:07 Okay.
01:01:12 Okay.
01:01:17 Okay.
01:01:22 Okay.
01:01:27 Okay.
01:01:32 Okay.
01:01:37 Okay.
01:01:42 Okay.
01:01:47 Okay.
01:01:52 Okay.
01:01:57 Okay.
01:02:02 Okay.
01:02:07 Okay.
01:02:12 Okay.
01:02:17 Okay.
01:02:22 Okay.
01:02:27 Okay.
01:02:32 I brought a--I brought a joint.
01:02:37 I know this will probably be your last session, so I figured, hey, for old times sake.
01:02:42 Um, I'm good, thanks, though.
01:02:46 Really?
01:02:47 Yeah, yeah, I have a dress rehearsal after this, so I'm trying to focus and whatnot.
01:02:51 Oh.
01:02:52 Plus I have work in the morning.
01:02:53 Well, that's great, because I think I rolled a really terrible one.
01:02:59 You know, you need to take a step back and look how much has changed.
01:03:04 You're not even doing what brought you into my office in the first place.
01:03:06 You're a different person.
01:03:08 You're a different person than the man I met six months ago.
01:03:12 Aren't you proud of yourself?
01:03:16 Look, I liked doing what I was doing.
01:03:21 It was fun.
01:03:25 It's just that the excuse is just not good enough anymore.
01:03:29 Your father?
01:03:32 I'm just pissed that he got away with it.
01:03:34 Oh, he fucking got away with it.
01:03:37 And he took the easy way out.
01:03:38 By dying?
01:03:39 Yeah, by dying.
01:03:41 Plus he's getting what he always wanted.
01:03:43 Which is what?
01:03:45 I'm at his office, working for his company that he built.
01:03:49 Oh, he would just love it.
01:03:52 Even after he's dead, he's still making me do things I don't want to do.
01:03:59 I remember a few weeks after he died, I called my mom at the house to see how she'd been, you know, check in on her.
01:04:07 And the voicemail picked up.
01:04:11 And it was still his voice.
01:04:12 They hadn't changed the machine yet.
01:04:16 It picked up quick.
01:04:20 And then I called back.
01:04:23 And then I called back again.
01:04:26 I kept listening to his voice over and over again.
01:04:31 God, it felt like I hadn't heard it in so long.
01:04:35 It almost felt like I'd never heard it at all before.
01:04:39 Eventually Rosie picked up.
01:04:41 Apparently I woke her up from a nap.
01:04:48 I've made a lot of mistakes.
01:04:50 And I'm sorry that I hurt a lot of people.
01:04:57 But I don't regret what I've done.
01:05:00 I just regret the excuse.
01:05:08 And I regret what I did to that girl.
01:05:14 Well, maybe she'll come to the play.
01:05:17 Yeah, maybe.
01:05:19 She hasn't reserved a ticket yet.
01:05:20 There's still time.
01:05:21 I got mine.
01:05:23 I think you'll like it.
01:05:24 It's pretty good.
01:05:25 Pretty fucked up though, so I hope you aren't offended easily.
01:05:30 And now, ladies and gentlemen, a comedy.
01:05:38 [MUSIC]
01:05:48 [MUSIC]
01:05:58 [MUSIC]
01:06:26 You're awesome, man.
01:06:27 Oh, thanks, Greg.
01:06:28 No, seriously, I'm really impressed.
01:06:30 Thank you so much for coming.
01:06:31 I was hoping Olivia would show up.
01:06:33 Maybe you just missed her.
01:06:34 Yeah, yeah, maybe.
01:06:36 Mom.
01:06:37 Paul.
01:06:38 Oh, you were wonderful.
01:06:40 Now, I don't actually know if you give flowers to men,
01:06:43 so if you don't want to take them, I can hold them for you.
01:06:45 No, it's fine.
01:06:46 Oh, really, I am so proud of you.
01:06:49 Mom, you remember Dr. Dancing.
01:06:50 The Greg is fine.
01:06:52 Hey.
01:06:53 Whatever the hell your name is, you did so good.
01:06:55 Thank you.
01:06:56 She didn't show up.
01:06:57 Yeah, she did.
01:06:58 She did?
01:06:59 Yeah, she slipped out before everyone else did.
01:07:00 Oh.
01:07:01 At least she came.
01:07:02 Yeah, and who even cares?
01:07:03 You were so good.
01:07:04 I'm so proud of my boy.
01:07:06 Oh, and Ben, too.
01:07:07 I mean, that was a great play.
01:07:08 Kind of fucked up.
01:07:10 I told you.
01:07:11 Yeah, but cool as shit.
01:07:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah, good for him.
01:07:14 I got to go.
01:07:15 I have work in the morning.
01:07:16 Oh, yeah?
01:07:17 How's that going?
01:07:18 You know, it's work, so it's fine for now.
01:07:21 Well, you did great.
01:07:23 Thanks.
01:07:24 Call me tomorrow.
01:07:25 Of course.
01:07:26 I'm going to go have a drink or two.
01:07:27 I had, like, three Red Bull before the play, and now I feel like an epileptic.
01:07:30 I'm like, why?
01:07:31 All right, buddy.
01:07:32 All right.
01:07:33 I'll see you at home.
01:07:34 See you at home.
01:07:35 Kel Benison, congratulations.
01:07:36 Thanks.
01:07:37 Everything all right?
01:07:38 Everything's great.
01:07:39 You're great.
01:07:40 Oh, yeah.
01:07:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:07:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:07:44 [KNOCKING]
01:07:59 Come in.
01:08:00 Hi, Mrs. Strauss?
01:08:02 Paul, come on in.
01:08:03 Right, Paul.
01:08:05 Something came for you.
01:08:06 It came to my desk by accident.
01:08:08 Just thought I'd bring it on over.
01:08:10 Oh, sure, yeah.
01:08:11 You can just leave it on the desk.
01:08:12 Thanks.
01:08:13 I knew your father.
01:08:21 Uh, yeah.
01:08:22 Yeah, I imagine you would have working here.
01:08:25 No, I really knew him.
01:08:27 Had lunch together almost every day for 25 years.
01:08:31 Well, then you probably knew him better than I did.
01:08:35 I just-- I just didn't expect it.
01:08:38 I just-- I just didn't expect to see you here.
01:08:41 What?
01:08:42 Well, from what he always said, he always said that, uh,
01:08:47 when he spoke of you, that you were destined for better things,
01:08:50 bigger things.
01:08:51 Well, I guess my father didn't know me that well after all, did he?
01:08:54 No.
01:08:55 You see, the thing is, he asked me--
01:09:00 made me promise, actually, that if I ever saw you here,
01:09:04 if you ever came to work in this building,
01:09:07 that-- that I would-- I would make you leave.
01:09:13 Are you firing me?
01:09:16 No.
01:09:17 No.
01:09:18 I don't have any authority to fire you.
01:09:20 I just-- I didn't want to break a promise to your father.
01:09:26 I know you had your differences,
01:09:28 but he was a good man from what I knew he was.
01:09:32 He kept me employed for many years of my life,
01:09:35 put bread on my family's table.
01:09:38 He always took care of me, and for that I am grateful.
01:09:44 So I can't break a promise.
01:09:50 I don't understand what you want me to do.
01:09:59 I want you to leave, Mr. Strauss,
01:10:04 and I kindly hope I don't ever see you again.
01:10:10 It was a real pleasure.
01:10:19 [music playing]
01:10:23 [music playing]
01:10:27 [music playing]
01:10:55 [gunshot]
01:10:56 [music playing]
01:11:01 [music playing]
01:11:11 [music playing]
01:11:14 [music playing]
01:11:30 [music playing]
01:11:33 [music playing]
01:11:49 [music playing]
01:11:59 [music playing]
01:12:02 [music playing]
01:12:12 [music playing]
01:12:15 [music playing]
01:12:18 [BLANK_AUDIO]