Waiting for the right partner Acharya Prashant
Video Information: 07.12.2020, Interview Session, Rishikesh, Uttrakhand
Context:
- What is the ultimate advice for the right partner?
- How to choose the right partner for marriage?
- How to be committed in a relationship?
- How to have a deep and spiritual relationship?
- Is marriage good or bad?
- What about sex before marriage?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
#Love
#AcharyaPrashant
#ValentinesDay
#ValentinesDay2022
#Wisdom
#Truth
#Spirituality
#Vedanta
Context:
- What is the ultimate advice for the right partner?
- How to choose the right partner for marriage?
- How to be committed in a relationship?
- How to have a deep and spiritual relationship?
- Is marriage good or bad?
- What about sex before marriage?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
#Love
#AcharyaPrashant
#ValentinesDay
#ValentinesDay2022
#Wisdom
#Truth
#Spirituality
#Vedanta
Category
ЁЯУЪ
LearningTranscript
00:00 There was this thing that I came across which was really thought provoking for me.
00:10 They spoke about, Sri Aurobindo spoke about, he spoke about three levels or three kinds
00:17 of partnerships, if you can call them.
00:20 He said there is one at the vital level, vital partnership, there is psychic partnership
00:25 and then there is spiritual partnership.
00:28 So my question is how do I find the spiritual partner and how do I know or recognize?
00:34 Just the same way you find the right Guru.
00:38 Go back to that question.
00:39 Okay.
00:40 The authenticity in my core.
00:42 You must know what you are seeking from the person.
00:46 If you get it from that person, you are with the right person.
00:51 What are you looking for?
00:53 What are you seeking?
00:55 If you are just looking for decent looks and you know somebody to accompany you to the
01:03 movies then anybody would do.
01:07 But if you are looking really to not to make a waste of your life and if you are looking
01:13 to someone who just refreshes you, gives you freedom from all the staleness we carry within
01:28 from all these centuries, then you will find the right person.
01:34 What are you looking for?
01:37 So the right partner is not determined by the attributes of the partner.
01:44 The right partner is determined and achieved by the intensity of your hunger, your inquiry.
01:54 Just as I said you go and ask the right questions from the Guru and if the Guru comes a cropper,
02:00 you leave.
02:01 Similarly, even with your partner, you need to ask certain questions, maybe not in the
02:06 same way you formally inquire from a Guru.
02:12 But the essence of the question has to be the same because the essence of the suffering
02:16 is the same.
02:19 Are you a different person in front of the teacher and a different one in front of the
02:22 partner?
02:23 No, that is not the same.
02:25 So the suffering consciousness is the same even when you are in with your, irrespective
02:31 of who you are with actually, mother, father, your dog, your cat, the purpose has to be
02:38 a one.
02:39 The purpose is I have to be better, not in the sense of earning more money.
02:46 Have to be better inwardly.
02:48 I have to come out of this inner haze.
02:51 Does my dog help me with that?
02:54 You have to be austere and rigorous to that extent.
02:59 I know many people would hear this and laugh that does even a dog need to be measured on
03:07 a spiritual yardstick?
03:08 Yes, of course.
03:10 Why must you keep a pet if the pet is going to make your life hell?
03:18 Every single thing that you do, you must ask, is it going to liberate me from my bondages
03:23 and my ignorance?
03:26 Why must I wear a ring?
03:28 Why must I wear an earring?
03:30 Why must I comb my hair this way?
03:32 Why must I take a walk to the shop?
03:38 Why must I breathe?
03:40 Why must I wake up every morning?
03:43 Why must I do that?
03:45 The purpose has to be liberation and one has to be absolutely one-minded on that.
03:52 No wavering, no second thoughts.
03:54 I know why I exist because I know how I exist.
04:00 Once you know how you exist, you know why you exist.
04:05 How do you exist?
04:06 You exist in agony and therefore, why do you exist?
04:09 You exist for liberation.
04:16 So it's not a complicated question at all.
04:24 Men, women all have this question and it has been romanticized endlessly and it has been
04:31 turned into something mysterious, as they say these days, mystical.
04:37 You know, how can you know whether the heavens have really chosen that particular face for
04:43 you?
04:44 The heavens have chosen nothing.
04:46 Your angst has to choose its doctor.
04:50 But that's so unromantic.
04:51 Am I supposed to choose a doctor?
04:53 I mean, come on, I'm looking to visit a dyspotheic, not a hospital.
04:59 I want to go to Switzerland and you are sending me to Apollo hospitals.
05:04 I mean, why do you talk of the partner as a doctor?
05:08 But the partner has to be a doctor because you are a patient, you are sick and you don't
05:17 want to acknowledge that because you're pretty.
05:20 I'm so handsome, I'm so tall, how can I call myself a patient?
05:28 You are a patient.
05:29 Better have some humility and acknowledge that.
05:32 And then you will know the one to partner.
05:37 Otherwise you will be in all kinds of wrong relationships.
05:43 And they come in the garb of the promise initially, but then it all comes off, you know, I mean,
05:52 promises anybody can make.
05:54 The thing is, if I really want something, I test the promise, no?
05:59 Are those promises ever validated?
06:02 Do we pass them to scrutiny?
06:03 No, we don't.
06:04 Why?
06:05 Because I'm not bothered, not bothered.
06:07 I may write there that I'm very concerned about me not getting infected.
06:18 But am I even bothering to ask that person, so are you vaccinated?
06:23 So are you vaccinated?
06:25 I don't even bother to ask that person whether he's vaccinated.
06:29 And I keep telling myself, you know, I care so much about my health and public health
06:33 in general.
06:35 So all these are our games we play with ourselves.
06:38 We tell ourselves one thing, whereas we live a totally different thing.
06:44 It's not others that deceive us.
06:46 We keep deceiving ourselves endlessly.
06:53 And the funny thing is, when we discover that others too have deceived us, we cry ourselves
07:02 dry.
07:08 How can you complain now?
07:11 The very name of the game was deception.
07:14 He was deceiving you, you were deceiving him or her, he was deceiving himself and you were
07:20 deceiving yourself.
07:23 All kinds of permutations, combinations and deception were happening all the time.
07:27 Now that something has come up, you're crying.
07:37 Explain.
07:44 So once you've gone through, you know, the path of obviously stumbling down and then
07:52 discovering who you are, even after that, there are, I mean, it is happening.
07:58 So they will pop up right in the garb of looking right, looking in the sense not looking right.
08:05 I mean, we are obviously not that shallow anymore.
08:08 So looking in the sense, oh, all like, they're deeper than that and all that.
08:13 So how do you spot a lie?
08:15 Does an infected person look different from a normal person?
08:19 No, no, no.
08:21 But what do you do?
08:22 You test, test, test.
08:26 Always carry RT-PCR kits with you.
08:29 Keep testing.
08:30 By the looks, you will never know whether the fellow is infected or not.
08:35 You must test and how will you test?
08:38 Through your own angst, through your own inquiry.
08:41 So is there no depth left in the men anymore?
08:44 I mean, I mean, I mean, what?
08:46 What is the game?
08:49 Predominantly.
08:53 If there is no depth left in the men and women are usually unable to see that, is there any
09:02 depth left in women either?
09:08 Had there been, I mean, generalizing, you are generalizing, I am generalizing, but let's
09:11 play this game.
09:13 If there is no depth in the man and the woman still falls prey to the man, what kind of
09:22 depth does the woman have?
09:25 Correct.
09:30 That's the utility of depth.
09:32 You don't fall prey to shallowness.
09:36 Without the real thing, nothing in life falls in the right place.
09:48 At times we might be deluded into thinking that things are going well with us.
09:55 They cannot.
09:56 They cannot.
09:57 Even if it is happening, it is going to be very short lived and the end is going to be
10:05 tragic.
10:08 You can happily run your car on a flat tire for two kilometers and then
10:26 you can have a powerful steering.
10:28 We have power steering these days and the engine is very powerful, 200 horsepower and
10:37 you are an insensitive driver.
10:39 So, you don't quite notice the vibrations in the vehicle.
10:43 For two kilometers you can happily run the vehicle even at 60 or 80 miles an hour with
10:50 a flat tire.
10:55 That's all.
11:01 And then when somebody calls you up or gestures from outside, "Hey, hey", you are such a
11:06 fool.
11:07 He is unnecessarily raising a scene.
11:17 All these are conspiracy theorists.
11:20 I am so happily riding my vehicle and the fellow is warning me from there and playing
11:26 it up.
11:27 They don't like my happiness.
11:31 That's what so many people verbally or non-verbally say to me.
11:40 They may not say that but it's writ large on their faces.
11:44 We are so happy.
11:45 Probably you don't like our happiness.
11:49 I want you to be really happy.
11:53 I know the thing that you call as happiness.
11:58 I know how deceptive it is and what kind of pain it would leave you with.
12:04 Therefore, I am warning you against false happiness.
12:09 I am not an enemy of happiness.
12:13 I don't like this movement into deeper and deeper pain in the name of happiness.
12:33 Personal problem, social problem, global problem.
12:51 There is just one problem.
12:59 Unless we address that, we can have a thousand names to a thousand problems.
13:09 And it's very easy to address that and very difficult to address that.
13:13 Because that problem is not outside of us, that problem is within us.
13:17 That problem lies in our very build.
13:20 So, it's easy because the problem is near.
13:25 It's difficult because the problem is within.
13:42 You know in this book that I read, David Epstein, it did quite well actually.
13:51 It's called Generalist.
13:54 Why journalists triumph in a specialized world.
14:01 So there are so many things, many times one is endowed with.
14:08 Like personally for me I am drawn to a lot of stuff.
14:12 So basically do I do it all?
14:16 Is it possible to do it all?
14:22 I am drawn towards all the stuff in the pharmacist's place.
14:33 Okay, I got it.
14:41 Which medicine do you?
14:44 Which sickness do you?
14:47 Which medicine you use to treat your sickness basically?
14:51 First thing is acknowledgement of the sickness.
14:54 That decides the medicine and that then rejects all the needless medication.
15:10 Needless medication is very close to more sickness.
15:25 All that in ignorance of the real disease.
15:32 I was talking more work-wise in the sense, there's music, there are a lot of things.
15:36 So even, doesn't matter, all these are objects in our sensory world.
15:45 We need to know who we are and therefore what is it that suits us.
15:54 Skill-wise at points in my life I have been good at certain sports.
16:01 I have been good at mathematics.
16:04 I have been good at engineering.
16:05 I have been good at management.
16:08 I have been good at acting.
16:17 What is it that I need to do?
16:20 It's just not that I feel talented in some space so I take that space up.
16:30 Management is such a foolish thing.
16:41 I would have probably made a good physicist but is that the need of my consciousness?
16:55 Even today if there is one thing that attracts me beyond Vedanta, it's physics.
17:16 I haven't taught physics and data analytics.
17:29 Is that where my real need lies?
17:35 Is that where the sickness of the world lies?
17:40 What does the world need?
17:42 If I become a physicist, that's not going to heal the world.
17:47 We already have enough physicists.
18:07 And with this question are the words of passion, calling and all such things.
18:20 But I feel so passionate about singing.
18:30 There is hardly anybody who does not feel passionate about singing.
18:39 But, hello, I am not against singing.
18:47 Anybody in India who is not passionate about cricket?
18:51 74.6% of India wants to get into the national cricket team.
18:59 The cricketer acting or singing.
19:02 Those who cannot make it to the Wankhede stadium want to make it to the studios.
19:12 Either the stadium or the studio.
19:16 That pretty much covers the entire population of the country.
19:21 Hello.
19:22 To hoots to passion.
19:26 You see what you must do, not what you are inclined to do.
19:35 Being born in India, obviously you would be inclined to take the ball or the bat in hand.
19:40 I too was inclined.
19:43 That's not what I'm going to do.
19:49 Or perhaps use your singing in a way that it is conducive to serve the purpose.
19:54 That makes sense.
19:56 What sort of songs are you singing?
19:59 But again, you have to determine if your songs are just a means towards some higher end,
20:09 then are songs the best means towards that end?
20:16 If the end is the important thing, then are the songs the best means?
20:23 If they are, continue with singing.
20:26 If they are not, pick that which would be most efficient in taking you towards your
20:33 goal.
20:34 Meera sang bhajans of Krishnaji too.
20:44 Meera succeeded with songs in reaching Krishna.
20:49 Not everybody succeeded with songs in reaching Krishna.
20:55 You have to ask yourself, is Krishna important or the songs?
21:05 The answer would be Krishna, if you are honest.
21:07 If Krishna is important, are songs the best way?
21:10 If the answer is yes, continue with singing.
21:15 If the answer is no, don't deceive yourself.
21:20 Pick some other way.
21:22 If you persist with singing, irrespective of knowing that this is not taking you to
21:28 Krishna, then singing is more important for you than Krishna.
21:35 And that's bad.
21:36 Good point.
21:37 I like it.
21:38 Lovely.
21:39 When Meera asked to pick between her bhajans and Krishna, what would she choose?
21:49 Krishna.
21:50 Bhajans were good for her only because they were 100% aligned with her love for Krishna.
22:04 Bhajans are secondary.
22:05 Krishna is primary.
22:10 [Music]