• 9 months ago
Mike Epps keeps it real as he riffs on poor personal hygiene, failing at infidelity and waging war on work husbands in t | dG1fQk85NG1WR2dXZlE
Transcript
00:00 What's up, Phoenix?
00:02 [cheers and applause]
00:05 I know you guys seen me in the movies,
00:07 but the money's gone.
00:09 [laughter]
00:10 Y'all know damn well I don't come here.
00:13 Phoenix, the home of the Witness Protection Program.
00:17 [cheers and applause]
00:20 Black people need two voices in this fucking world.
00:23 White people don't need two voices.
00:24 They don't need a black voice for shit.
00:26 Your mama have two voices.
00:28 Yes, I'm gonna call about a $63 bill
00:33 that was spent, uh, I think--
00:35 Hold for one second, ma'am.
00:36 Get the fuck up that door!
00:39 Fellas, when you're in a relationship,
00:40 you gotta keep on reminding your girl how sexy she is,
00:43 'cause if you don't, her work husband gonna tell her.
00:46 She's coming home happy.
00:47 She's supposed to be coming home from work sad and tired.
00:50 That's why you gotta pop up on your girl's job sometimes.
00:53 Yeah, uh-huh.
00:54 Where's she at?
00:55 You looking for that work husband.
00:57 That's the first dude that you say to say,
00:59 "You looking for Cheryl?"
01:00 Like, "No, I'm looking for you.
01:02 Come here."
01:03 [cheers and applause]
01:06 If I knew I was gonna be this successful,
01:08 I wouldn't have spread my dick so thin.
01:11 I gave it to people who didn't deserve it.
01:14 [laughter]
01:16 [music playing]
01:19 [music playing]
01:22 [music playing]
01:25 [music playing]
01:28 [BLANK_AUDIO]