Nobody's Baby | movie | 2001 | Official Trailer
Two not so bright small time crooks end up with a baby girl by "accident" and find a change in their lives. Billy (Ulric | dG1fM0hvTUFJSFVsaWs
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 [ Silence ]
00:04 [ Music ]
00:17 >> For thousands of years, the people
00:20 of the Anasazi Nation painted their history
00:23 in the red rock caves of the great American Southwest.
00:26 Today, a different band of Native Americans will leave
00:32 their mark as well.
00:34 >> Dennis.
00:35 >> Dog groomers.
00:36 >> Dummy.
00:37 >> Dickhead.
00:38 >> Dip shit.
00:38 >> Dog shit.
00:39 >> Gary Oldman is Buford Dill.
00:41 Skeet Ulrich is Billy Ray Dean.
00:44 They're friends for life.
00:45 >> Oh, my ass was itching so bad,
00:46 I'm ready to take Brillo to the--
00:48 >> Or at least five to ten.
00:49 >> Is this man silver?
00:51 >> As a judge, your honor.
00:52 >> Hey, hey, hey!
00:53 >> But on the road to freedom--
00:55 >> You!
00:57 >> They ran into one tiny problem.
00:59 >> Believe me, I know it looks bad, but it's going
01:01 to get just a little bit worse.
01:03 Would you wait here, please?
01:05 [ Explosion ]
01:07 >> I got a baby, Buford.
01:08 >> Hey, good going!
01:10 Where'd you score it?
01:11 >> This is a human being we're talking about.
01:13 >> It's half yours and half mine.
01:15 >> Fine. Well, you can have the half that shits.
01:18 >> When it comes to parenthood, you've got your pros,
01:21 you've got your cons.
01:22 >> Now, here ring its scrawny little neck
01:25 if you don't put $100,000 in an envelope.
01:31 Hello?
01:32 >> And a family of misfits in between.
01:34 >> What are you talking about?
01:35 >> Shut the fuck up!
01:36 >> Stand away!
01:38 >> This is not your baby!
01:39 >> Hey, hey, hey!
01:41 >> Come on now, give me that baby!
01:42 >> No!
01:43 >> You're gonna learn that soon!
01:45 [ Screaming ]
01:48 >> Now, is this a party or what?
01:51 >> Now, for the first time, Buford and Billy are trying
01:54 to do the right thing.
01:55 >> You gave this baby french fries and ketchup?
01:58 >> It's no damn good without ketchup.
02:00 >> They're just going about it all wrong.
02:03 >> He's a big, rich dummy who wants what we got.
02:06 Is that a mathematical miracle?
02:08 >> I will have your face plastered on every front page
02:11 of every newspaper, every post office wall, police station,
02:15 and telephone pole from here to Chickasaw.
02:17 >> So what do you say?
02:18 >> He'll give us 48 hours to get the cash
02:20 or he's calling the police?
02:22 >> Your prayers have been answered.
02:26 >> He is willing to be held up at gunpoint for a thousand
02:29 in advance and half the weight you get for fencing the goods.
02:32 >> Can you give me the answers?
02:34 >> Oh, let me see.
02:36 You know what?
02:39 That'd be a big, fat fucking no way.
02:42 >> Woo!
02:44 [ Music ]
02:47 >> Hey, buddy, we're planning to rob this place
02:50 and you're the guy we talked to?
02:51 >> Jesus, yeah.
02:51 >> Buford?
02:52 >> Well, if it ain't him, he's just going to say no.
02:55 >> Give me that guitar.
02:58 >> You go first.
02:59 >> Shit.
02:59 >> Nobody move!
03:00 >> Hands up!
03:03 >> You, you're here!
03:04 >> What?
03:05 >> It's all!
03:05 >> Woo!
03:07 [ Music ]
03:09 >> You!
03:10 [ Music ]
03:14 >> Woo! We're going all the way!
03:18 [ Music ]
03:22 >> Gary Oldman.
03:22 >> That's a good scam.
03:25 >> Skeet Ulrich.
03:26 >> You normally use utensils with that baby?
03:28 >> Well, it's never too early to learn manners, I say.
03:31 >> Mary Steenburgen.
03:32 >> I'm not a milk cow for fuck's sake.
03:35 I'm taking medicine to dry.
03:36 [BLANK_AUDIO]