Us and Them - When generations clash - career
When it comes to careers and dream jobs, the ideals of parents and their children are often very different. Whether in the case of a crypto investor in India or a boxer in the US – when choosing a profession, family stress is pretty much guaranteed.
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00:00 [music playing]
00:03 There's a sense of empowerment that you
00:12 get when you feel your strength within your punches that
00:18 just lights me up.
00:20 Why do you want to box?
00:21 What do you have to prove?
00:22 You want to prove that you're stronger than someone else?
00:24 Why?
00:26 You know, I don't understand.
00:28 It would make me feel better if my daughter was in an office
00:31 setting doing the 9 to 5 job, which I know
00:35 has a steady pay and benefits.
00:36 Fast, five more seconds.
00:38 Cryptocurrency and blockchain, NFTs,
00:44 DeFi, decentralized finance.
00:47 What is this nonsense?
00:49 I wanted my son to become a doctor.
00:51 My net worth, that should be somewhere
00:54 around a million dollars.
00:56 But I don't know which bank, where, what you have saved,
00:59 how much you saved.
01:02 I do feel responsible for my mom.
01:04 And the responsibility has come from a very young age to me.
01:07 So what if you get hurt and you don't feel strong?
01:13 Then what have you accomplished from that?
01:15 I want to continue to be able to do that.
01:21 It hurts when they can't understand me.
01:24 [crowd shouting]
01:26 [inaudible]
01:29 I just want to pursue what sets my soul on fire.
01:36 Sound familiar?
01:37 When it comes to money or career, we want one thing.
01:41 Our families want the opposite.
01:45 Young and old, our realities and dreams can be so different.
01:51 Seriously, it seems like there's a huge gap
01:53 between the generations.
01:56 Sometimes we just don't get each other.
01:59 The question is, can we fix it?
02:02 [music playing]
02:05 All the money that I've pulled into Bitcoin
02:27 is from earnings from building different apps and websites.
02:30 [music playing]
02:33 I'm not happy with that cryptocurrency
02:36 because it is going down sometimes.
02:39 And then we are getting a little stressed.
02:40 Like, I mean, oh, god, the money has gone down.
02:44 So much hard-earned money, he has worked and all,
02:46 and he has put over there.
02:48 I wanted him to become a doctor.
02:50 I don't think there's a way in which I can explain it to her.
02:54 I've not been able to explain it to her till date.
02:57 Yeah.
02:58 [music playing]
03:01 I think there is one big gap, and it's more so like an age
03:10 gap because they are not able to understand
03:12 how this technology works.
03:14 Manuel?
03:16 Yeah, coming.
03:17 So currently, I live with my mom and my uncle in Mumbai.
03:22 You didn't put your TV?
03:23 No.
03:24 [inaudible]
03:25 Manuel, have you ever lost your money in this transaction?
03:31 The cryptos?
03:33 So when you're trading, obviously, you
03:35 can't always make money, right?
03:36 There have been times, of course.
03:38 But I would like to advise you--
03:39 But then loss would happen even if you put in the stock market,
03:41 right?
03:42 Yeah, that is there.
03:43 That is there.
03:45 That is there.
03:46 But you know, what I want to suggest
03:47 is that when you have made a substantial chunk of money,
03:54 then at least I would say that you have to put 50%
03:58 in other investments, not only in the cryptos,
04:04 because of the volatility of the market.
04:08 OK, let's pause here for a second.
04:18 Manuel's uncle is not the only one worried
04:21 about market volatility.
04:22 Cryptocurrency has become a popular gateway
04:25 to the financial markets for many young Indians.
04:28 In early 2023, 150 million people in India
04:31 owned cryptocurrency.
04:32 That's more than any other country worldwide.
04:36 But to most older Indians, the idea of cryptocurrency
04:39 is still alien.
04:40 They prefer more traditional, tangible investments
04:43 like gold, houses, or even stocks and bonds.
04:47 Money is a huge issue between the generations in India,
04:51 and Manuel's family is no exception.
04:53 First time when I told them about leaving my stable job
05:07 and entering the startup space, doing something of my own,
05:11 there was slight--
05:13 there was a little opposition in terms of where is
05:17 the money going to come from.
05:18 We were apprehensive that he may not get a suitable job
05:22 elsewhere.
05:25 So there is something done by--
05:29 but look at this, CryptoPunks.
05:31 So can you imagine what these images online
05:41 are being sold for today?
05:42 This image over here, this pixelated image.
05:46 Guess what's the price of this?
05:49 Any--
05:50 I cannot.
05:52 All of this are being sold for like 400, 500 ether, which
05:57 is like somewhere around half a million dollars.
06:00 Each individual image that is there.
06:03 So therefore, even I'm working on something similar in this,
06:06 which is like NFTs with AR and D5.
06:10 But the physical value is not there.
06:12 So I know it's a little difficult to--
06:14 because it is not physical, you can't touch, feel, go, smell,
06:18 do all of those things for this particular thing.
06:21 You feel it does not have value.
06:23 But if you look at it, most of the companies that you use,
06:28 or most of the companies that have value today,
06:29 you can't touch, feel them.
06:30 You can't touch a Facebook.
06:32 You can't touch an Instagram.
06:33 You can't touch Google.
06:37 So for someone who is not grown up in the internet age,
06:40 for them it's just like as though you're
06:42 getting some images online and it
06:44 doesn't look like a real job.
06:45 [music playing]
06:49 I was raised in San Diego, California.
06:58 The first three years living in Los Angeles,
07:00 I was working like two to three jobs.
07:05 I was taking on odd jobs just to kind of make it work.
07:12 Ah, when she moved to LA, I think it just
07:20 was too many things for her to do.
07:21 And I think she couldn't just pick one.
07:25 [music playing]
07:28 When I first started boxing, it was more of a fitness boxing.
07:34 One of the trainers at the gym, he
07:36 asked me, what do you do all day?
07:40 And at the time, I was working the typical nine to five.
07:44 And I said, well, I'm supposed to be working,
07:47 but I'm usually on Instagram watching boxing videos
07:51 or I'm watching trainers.
07:53 And he said, why don't you make the switch?
07:57 And have you ever thought about being a trainer yourself?
08:01 [music playing]
08:04 I'm so small.
08:05 I thought, who is going to want me
08:08 to hold mitts for them?
08:10 How am I going to be able to hold mitts for them?
08:12 I had all these self-limiting beliefs.
08:16 And he said, why does boxing training depend on your size?
08:20 You're right.
08:25 It doesn't.
08:26 How are you going to buy your house?
08:28 How are you going to move up?
08:30 Because for me, success means you started a job
08:34 and you keep going the next step further.
08:37 Find a job you want to settle down at so you can move on,
08:40 move up, and eventually purchase a home.
08:45 The big question is, why does home ownership matter
08:48 so much to Alyssa's mom?
08:51 Well, for many decades, owning a house
08:53 has been at the heart of the American dream.
08:56 If you can buy a home, life gets better
08:59 because that kind of wealth trickles down
09:00 to the next generations and opens the door
09:03 for upward social mobility.
09:05 But for young Americans, the dream
09:07 has become less and less attainable.
09:09 First, the mortgage crisis in 2008, and then COVID.
09:13 Conditions are harsh.
09:15 When Alyssa's generation turns 30,
09:17 their chances of owning a home will
09:19 be 14% lower than her mom's generation at the same age.
09:23 This is not what I had envisioned for my child.
09:32 I typically leave it to the side when it comes to boxing
09:36 just because I know that they don't really understand it
09:42 and I'm not too sure how interested they are in it.
09:45 So I don't talk to them too much about it.
09:49 Okay, get me one of those things that...
09:53 We're just a little heartbroken because we don't want to
09:57 talk about it because we know it's a touchy subject.
10:01 I don't choose to live in the same city,
10:09 but being in my 20s is a good time to be a little unstable
10:15 and, you know, hustle and take some risks.
10:19 It just happens.
10:24 It just has to be stable.
10:28 Stability is what makes me feel comfortable.
10:32 Stability.
10:33 Keep something for me.
10:35 (car engine starting)
10:37 (car engine revving)
10:41 Stability is the least of my concern at the moment.
10:44 Stability was something that you'd require,
10:46 was something of the past.
10:52 When I got married, it was a happy time
10:55 and all of a sudden my husband got a heart attack
10:59 at the age of...
11:01 My son was three years old
11:03 and I was a little bit lost in this world.
11:06 So I started praying, praying, "God has heard my prayer."
11:09 And He showed me some ways where I can do something for His future.
11:13 So I started giving tuitions, classes and all that
11:16 and that's how I brought my son up.
11:21 I've seen quite bad times in terms of financial instability
11:26 and I do feel responsible for my mom
11:28 and responsibility has come from a very young age to me.
11:32 Phew! That sounds like quite a big obligation for Manuel.
11:36 But in many countries around the globe,
11:38 children are expected to take care of their aging parents.
11:42 And in India, it's not just a moral duty, it's the law.
11:48 Since only a small portion of Indian society
11:50 will ever receive a pension,
11:52 the majority really depend on their own offspring
11:55 to help them in their old age.
11:57 So when kids take financial risks,
12:00 there's more at stake than just their own well-being.
12:03 For Manuel, growing up without his dad
12:07 has made things extra tough.
12:10 I need to provide for my home,
12:16 to provide for my mom
12:18 and to see to it that things are fine.
12:21 My father's from Guam, my mother's from the Philippines.
12:31 They divorced when I was 10.
12:33 And I never really had a father growing up.
12:37 My mom was a single mom.
12:39 She pretty much raised us.
12:42 And I knew she struggled.
12:46 We didn't have much money.
12:48 She did the best she could.
12:50 Just knew back then that
12:53 I had to do something better for myself.
12:56 I joined the Navy right after high school.
13:02 I think that's what helped me to be a better person.
13:06 It's all about being better than where you came from.
13:11 And we realized it from a very young age
13:13 because my parents always talked about it.
13:16 That they brought us to the United States
13:18 to give us a better life.
13:20 For me, to have children who are monetarily successful
13:26 is my way of showing my parents, like, you know,
13:30 I've succeeded as a parent.
13:33 Being Asian-American and from a family of immigrants in general,
13:39 there is the responsibility to continue
13:45 that legacy into the next generation.
13:50 In my generation, the parents relied on us
13:53 to be engineers or doctors, nurses.
13:56 And I thought that I was breaking away from that mold
13:59 and that I was being, you know, pretty easy on my child.
14:02 Thinking, "Oh, you can do anything else.
14:04 "You know, I'm not going to force you to be a nurse or a doctor
14:07 "or an engineer.
14:09 "You can follow your dreams."
14:14 You know, not realizing that this was going to be her dream someday.
14:18 Once you've completed your engineering degree,
14:26 you already have a fallback.
14:28 I don't understand why after even having these kind of cushionings,
14:32 people do not take risks.
14:33 They would not want to start something of their own.
14:36 You want to advertise on screens in Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore,
14:41 banner sizes or image sizes that you need.
14:43 Push it through.
14:44 Obviously, it's going to be super popular.
14:45 It creates that kind of hype.
14:46 NFT artworks in the metaverse and in different metaverses.
14:49 You're fighting for that visual space.
14:51 Ultimately, decentralized is the future.
14:53 Put up a plan, crowdfund our platform.
14:56 My appetite for risk is huge.
15:00 I don't want him to take a risk.
15:01 A person who doesn't have the ability to take risks,
15:04 I don't think can enter into the crypto space.
15:06 There are a lot of fraud things happening.
15:08 He's saying, "Mummy, you don't worry about that."
15:10 [music]
15:15 [indistinct chatter]
15:17 [music]
15:22 [camera shutter]
15:23 [camera shutter]
15:24 [camera shutter]
15:25 [music]
15:30 I don't want him to take a risk.
15:32 I want to tell him, "Baba, just tell us where it is.
15:35 And when it is shooting up, just remove half the thing and keep aside."
15:38 Because even we need it for our emergency,
15:41 we never know what is true tomorrow for us.
15:44 [music]
15:49 Jab. Cross. Again.
15:52 Body. Nice. Again.
15:55 Slip. Two more times.
15:59 Again. One more.
16:03 After that, you're going to slip.
16:06 Give me a hook cross after.
16:08 So it's a good thing that she's still trying to find herself
16:11 and do what she likes to do.
16:13 But it's a bad thing because, you know,
16:16 there is a time in your life when you have to settle down.
16:20 You have to buckle down and say, "Hey, I got to do this, this, and that
16:24 to take care of myself in the long run."
16:26 Medical, dental, vision.
16:29 Here's a not-so-fun fact for you.
16:32 The majority of US citizens receive their health insurance
16:35 through an employer.
16:37 So if your job doesn't offer that, tough luck.
16:40 In 2022, more than 27 million Americans had no health insurance.
16:45 That's just over 8% of the population.
16:49 And more than half of all personal bankruptcies
16:52 are due to unpaid medical bills.
16:54 So you get why he's worried?
16:57 A home, food on the table, money, savings.
17:03 Is there an alternative plan if something happens
17:07 where the boxing doesn't work out?
17:09 Where, let's say, she gets injured, she gets head trauma,
17:13 something happens, what is our next plan?
17:17 I've never seen my daughter box live.
17:19 If I were to see her get hit, in my mind, I would probably think,
17:23 "Oh, there goes her spleen, there goes her kidney."
17:26 That's what I would see.
17:28 Time.
17:30 We did a half round extra, so...
17:32 [♪♪♪]
17:37 I wish that my family could visit me at the gym
17:42 and see how happy and fulfilled it makes me.
17:46 It hurts when they can't understand me
17:59 because I think that all of the best qualities that I have,
18:04 I have gotten because of how they raised me,
18:07 is what has led me to where I am today.
18:10 And I wish that they could see that.
18:13 [phone ringing]
18:17 Hi.
18:24 [keys jingling]
18:26 I'm just, um, I'm worried about Mom and Dad,
18:31 about what they'll say when I tell them
18:34 that I actually am going to pick up a, you know,
18:38 fight in an actual match.
18:41 When do you think is a good time for me to tell them?
18:45 I don't know exactly.
18:48 Just rip the band-aid off.
18:51 So tell them...
18:53 By the time you see them.
18:55 Is that possible?
18:57 Mm-hmm. I think so.
18:59 If this is truly what you want in life,
19:03 then you should be open about it.
19:06 I mean, it's your life.
19:09 You decide what you want in life.
19:12 I think it's inspiring for me because I look up to you
19:18 and it's very helpful for me to try to attempt
19:23 doing something I would love doing.
19:26 I just don't know what that is right now.
19:29 [phone ringing]
19:33 Hello?
19:35 Hi, Mom.
19:36 Hi, sweetie.
19:38 I'm getting on the 56 now, so I'm almost home.
19:41 Oh, okay. All right. We'll see you soon.
19:44 Okay, I'll see you soon.
19:46 [car horn honks]
19:48 [keys jingling]
19:51 [keys jingling]
19:54 [door creaks open]
19:56 Hi.
19:58 Hi, Mandy.
20:00 Hi.
20:02 Mmm.
20:04 Hi, baby.
20:05 Hi.
20:07 [glasses clink]
20:09 [upbeat music]
20:11 Yep. Gotta have that beer when you're groovin'.
20:15 [upbeat music]
20:18 ♪ ♪
20:25 Ever since she started doing the boxing training,
20:28 I felt like our dinner conversations
20:30 got shorter or quieter
20:32 because it wasn't like a conversation
20:35 that I, you know, I really wanted to talk about.
20:39 Please, Father God, always protect us,
20:41 lead us, guide us, protect us from evil and harm.
20:44 Watch over us, and thank you for all the many blessings
20:47 that you provide for us.
20:49 You must holy name Father God and Jesus' holy name.
20:52 Amen.
20:53 Amen.
20:54 All right.
20:55 [indistinct chatter]
20:57 That's chicken, right?
20:58 Dang, Liz.
20:59 [laughter]
21:00 I'm hungry.
21:01 [indistinct chatter]
21:05 And what about this thing, you know, the job and all that?
21:08 Is it okay for you?
21:10 What are you doing right now?
21:12 I don't know how to even explain in the first place.
21:14 This is how--
21:16 My mom is quite supportive.
21:18 However, things that she doesn't understand,
21:22 since I don't tell it to her,
21:25 so then that's a way of basically me
21:29 trying to support myself by not telling her.
21:32 [laughter]
21:35 He doesn't tell me more because he knows
21:37 that I've got a little high blood pressure and thyroid.
21:41 He's saying, "Mummy, why are you getting worried,
21:43 "tension and all?"
21:44 Like, everything you have kept for me.
21:46 For you.
21:47 But I said, "I don't know which bank, where,
21:49 "what you have saved, how much you saved."
21:52 But he kept on telling me, like, not to worry and all, like...
21:56 [chewing]
22:00 Have you been working on your speed?
22:02 I feel like that would be helpful.
22:03 Yeah, I've been working on--
22:05 That's one thing that my coach has been working a lot with me
22:10 is my speed and, yeah.
22:12 But now, it's good.
22:14 I'm eating a lot of protein,
22:16 so I can gain weight.
22:18 Your plans are to continue boxing indefinitely, or...?
22:22 Mm.
22:24 I've been working with my coach every week for--
22:27 since last January, so he feels pretty confident
22:30 that I'm ready to pick up a fight, and, yeah.
22:36 Well, some concerns that I have are, number one,
22:40 it's never been discussed with us.
22:43 It's not anything that you prepared us for mentally,
22:46 and I don't think you've been really mentioning
22:49 that you've been preparing for a fight.
22:52 It does make me emotional.
22:59 Boxing is really something that's powerful and empowering,
23:06 and I think that there's something and some way
23:10 that I can make an impact through the sport of boxing,
23:15 and I think that it also stems from, you know,
23:21 always wanting to prove to people
23:24 that I am more than I size.
23:29 You are, ma'am. We never doubted that.
23:31 We never doubted that.
23:33 You know, we talked about you were gonna do great things someday with your height.
23:37 You know, your whole point is to feel strong,
23:40 so what if you get hurt and you don't feel strong?
23:43 What have you accomplished from that? I want to know.
23:46 Well, getting-- it's about getting back up.
23:49 Boxing is like a life metaphor.
23:51 It's not, you know, how quickly you get up.
23:55 It's whether you do get up, and I know that I have the willpower
23:59 to be able to get up after, you know, getting hurt.
24:04 (sniffles)
24:07 (sniffles)
24:09 (sniffles)
24:11 (upbeat music)
24:14 ♪ ♪
24:31 We don't express much to each other.
24:34 We don't talk a lot, but I think that's just the way
24:37 we've been growing up together.
24:39 So if we have, like, a good experience or a new place and all,
24:42 we'll be more, like, exploring the place,
24:45 exploring the environment, like, being in the moment at that time
24:49 and not, like, talking about stuff
24:53 or, like, trying to clutter the moment with some old thoughts.
24:58 ♪ ♪
25:09 (birds chirping)
25:14 Today has been one and a half years in the making
25:17 for me to finally have the opportunity for my first fight.
25:21 ♪ ♪
25:31 I had a full four-week fight camp.
25:34 I was eating healthy.
25:36 I was training with my coach five to six days a week,
25:39 doing sprints or runs on top of sparring.
25:43 ♪ ♪
25:55 I did everything that I could to make sure that I'm fueled
25:59 and prepped well for the fight.
26:01 -Ready! -Hey, I know!
26:03 -We're ready, too, but... -Yeah?
26:05 You know, it's the pressure sometimes that gets to people.
26:07 Not everybody can do this, so...
26:09 -She what? -She couldn't take the pressure.
26:11 You gotta get past the person.
26:13 I'm here today because my opponent didn't show up.
26:16 -Show her up. -Yes!
26:18 I didn't get to fight, and today I'm very disappointed.
26:24 And that's the bummer for today.
26:28 ♪ ♪
26:40 What adds to the disappointment is that
26:43 he was supposed to come to my fight today,
26:45 and I felt like it was gonna be the day
26:47 where I can actually show them that I have a place here.
26:51 -Thank you. -Of course.
26:53 Just hearing that my parents were going to show up
26:56 and come support meant a lot to me,
26:59 and that was the win in itself.
27:02 ♪ ♪
27:09 Well, I mean, that was probably...
27:11 A couple months after that barbecue with my parents
27:13 where things got pretty emotional,
27:15 my mom texted me and let me know
27:19 that she was proud of me pursuing my dreams
27:22 and that it encouraged her to do the same.
27:25 And when I went home for Father's Day,
27:28 I showed my dad the basic punches.
27:30 I taught him a combination, and then we decided
27:33 that we were gonna do it every time I come home.
27:36 And hearing his excitement helped me feel
27:39 like I was one step closer to having them understand.
27:43 ♪ ♪
27:45 -He's gonna be in pain tomorrow. -I know.
27:48 And he's gonna be like...
27:49 [laughter]
27:52 [punching]
27:54 Back in.
27:56 [punching]
28:00 Oriented programming in terms of...
28:03 Wait, I think I'm going too technical.
28:06 [punching]
28:08 And he's saying, "Mommy, cool down.
28:10 I will put the music on."
28:12 [punching]
28:14 That's how the life is.
28:16 [punching]
28:17 This is kind of fun. It feels like therapy.
28:19 [laughter]
28:21 [laughter]
28:23 [punching]
28:25 My bracelet actually says "Badass."
28:28 [punching]