Aloneness is scary? || Acharya Prashant, Vedant Mahotsav at IISc Bangalore (2022)

Acharya Prashant

Full Video: Dealing with toxic partners || Acharya Prashant, Vedant Mahotsav at IISc Bangalore (2022) Link:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2hHL9Bqm2M&t=0s   Video Information: 09.09.2022, Vedant Mahotsav, IISc Bangalore  Context: ~ How to come out of a toxic relationship? ~ What to do if my spouse beats me? ~ How to tackle violence in a relationship? ~ Why are people afraid to move on? ~ Why do we get into abusive marriages? ~ Who are our mentors today? ~ What is the impact of movies you watch?  Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00 It sounds scary if you imagine, if I tell you,

00:06 you have to spend your life without being hitched to some person of the other gender.

00:15 Most of us will start feeling scared.

00:19 I can understand the situation of those who are already welded.

00:28 But even those who are fortunate enough to not yet

00:35 have been welded, even they will start feeling scared.

00:42 Oh my God, what a scary vision.

00:45 All alone, what will happen to me?

00:48 Where did this feeling come from?

00:52 Definitely this feeling is not coming from the body.

00:58 Definitely this feeling is not prakritic or genetic.

01:01 Because this kind of feeling is not found in animals.

01:08 Animals do form pairs, but only for a while.

01:18 And then they go their own way.

01:20 Till the next mating season, they are away.

01:24 They are away.

01:25 This kind of a welded relationship, this concept does not exist in prakriti.

01:38 So surely it is coming from the society, not biology.

01:42 And from where in society is it coming?

01:47 It is coming from our avenues of entertainment.

01:51 Right?

01:56 Songs. You go to YouTube.

02:00 Which is the most watched YouTube channel across the world.

02:08 And what do you watch there? Songs.

02:13 And what are those songs necessarily about?

02:18 Man and woman, man and woman, man and woman, man and woman.

02:21 The entire world is watching that.

02:26 That particular channel is in Hindi.

02:30 But even otherwise, east or west, that's what we are constantly crooning.

02:37 Where is my man? Where is my woman? Where is my man? Where is my woman?

02:42 So that's the reason why the day you turn, what, 12?

02:53 You actually start looking for a partner.

02:56 I have heard kids of age 6 and 8 have boyfriends and girlfriends these days.

03:06 That's because this mass culture through media is now reaching them even earlier.

03:12 They all have mobile phones.

03:15 So even they are thinking that the highest thing possible in life is a boyfriend or girlfriend.

03:25 And if you have that, then you have arrived, you have succeeded.

03:31 With that kind of ideal, how will you ever have the courage to walk alone?

03:47 And when I say walk alone, that does not mean that you cannot be in a relationship.

03:54 When I say walk alone, that means being free of the compulsion to be in a relationship.

04:02 These are two very different things.

04:04 You can be in a relationship out of your freedom.

04:07 It is an expression of your freedom that you are in a relationship. That is possible, right?

04:13 Since I am free, hence out of my choice I am in a relationship.

04:17 But that's not the case very often.

04:23 Most of us are in relationships not because of freedom but because of compulsion.

04:28 And that's the reason why we have so many husband-wife jokes.

04:35 Otherwise, how can there be something to joke about in that?

04:41 You don't have mother-son jokes. You don't have brother-sister jokes.

04:45 Why do you have so many husband-wife jokes?

04:47 Just to mitigate the suffering a little.

04:52 Just to be able to laugh at your own sorry situation a little.

04:57 Isn't the mother-son bond an important one?

05:06 Why don't you have mother-son jokes then?

05:09 Why only husband-wife jokes?

05:14 Because without joking it will be even more difficult to tolerate.

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