Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [Music]
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00:00:54 I swear to God if you pick up one more ball, any ball for as long as you live, you're a dead boy walking.
00:01:00 [Crying]
00:01:04 Oh my God. Honey, are you okay? What happened? What happened, Adam?
00:01:08 He smacked the baseball at me through a window, through the glass.
00:01:12 That's a lie, you little weasel.
00:01:14 Sam, that nose ring wouldn't really fly at military school, do you think?
00:01:18 Mom, Adam's smirking. Look at him.
00:01:21 Hey, get up. Who taught you that girls were stupid, huh?
00:01:25 I know it wasn't me, so let me give you a word of warning, pal.
00:01:28 You can only push us so far before we snap.
00:01:31 You know the hormone thing? So you get up, you get that ball, and you bring it to me right now.
00:01:36 [Footsteps]
00:01:41 Save the drama. We're all on to you.
00:01:44 Thank you. And you're paying for the window.
00:01:48 But I...
00:01:49 [Sigh]
00:01:50 [Footsteps]
00:01:54 [Footsteps]
00:01:56 [Glass clinking]
00:01:59 [Door opening]
00:02:01 [Footsteps]
00:02:03 [Door closing]
00:02:05 Thanks for waiting.
00:02:07 He didn't call. We were hungry. I figured you'd be really late, as usual.
00:02:13 Mm-hmm.
00:02:15 You did miss all the excitement, though. Adam broke another window.
00:02:20 What does that make this year, honey, ten?
00:02:22 It's a good thing your dad worked so hard to pay for all that.
00:02:25 You said I had to pay for it. May I?
00:02:27 Mm-hmm.
00:02:29 Since you're only twelve and you don't really have a job, your money isn't really yours at all.
00:02:34 Yes, it is. It's my allowance.
00:02:36 Where do you think that money comes from? Dad, you idiot.
00:02:40 All right, everybody, calm down, please. The excitement's over.
00:02:44 May I?
00:02:46 That's good.
00:02:50 [Piano music]
00:02:53 [Glass clinking]
00:02:55 [Piano music]
00:03:07 Jack, we need to talk.
00:03:09 About what?
00:03:11 About this relationship.
00:03:13 Oh, come on, please. Just not again.
00:03:15 All we do is fight. I don't want to live that way anymore.
00:03:17 Everybody fights.
00:03:19 Some people stay married their whole lives with a lot less love than we have.
00:03:23 I don't want to be one of those people.
00:03:25 I don't want to spend the rest of my life regretting that we all had a chance to be happy and didn't take it.
00:03:30 We're not good together anymore.
00:03:34 Come on, Katie. We can try one more time.
00:03:37 Don't we love the kids at least that much? I mean, go see that therapist guy.
00:03:41 We tried that. It hasn't worked.
00:03:43 Don't you remember when we were first married and you thought I was funny and sexy and attractive?
00:03:53 You don't even laugh at my jokes anymore.
00:03:55 You haven't wanted to touch me in ages.
00:03:59 And in the past few years, nothing I do is right.
00:04:03 I think it's destroying all of us.
00:04:08 I don't understand how this happened.
00:04:19 Okay, okay. I'll go find a place.
00:04:22 You stay here with the kids. Kids need their moms a lot more than they need their dads.
00:04:28 Well, that's not true.
00:04:31 Well, maybe it is and maybe it isn't, but you guys should stay here.
00:04:36 I don't think we should tell them right away, at least not until you find a place.
00:04:42 Right.
00:04:43 It wasn't all bad, was it?
00:04:49 No, Jack, it wasn't.
00:04:51 We have two great kids, don't we?
00:04:54 Yeah, we do.
00:04:57 What am I gonna do?
00:05:11 [Music]
00:05:14 [Music]
00:05:16 [Music]
00:05:19 [Music]
00:05:21 [Music]
00:05:26 [Music]
00:05:31 [Music]
00:05:36 [Music]
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00:05:48 [Music]
00:05:57 Honey, I'm home.
00:06:04 [Music]
00:06:07 [Music]
00:06:15 [Music]
00:06:17 I get it. I get it. I get it.
00:06:24 Take the nose ring out, dear. We don't do that sort of thing here.
00:06:41 [Music]
00:06:43 Go, Barry.
00:06:49 Thanks for dressing.
00:06:59 You want a little sherry, dear?
00:07:02 Yes, please.
00:07:03 I don't believe I was speaking to you.
00:07:06 Nothing for me, thanks, Mother.
00:07:07 Barry?
00:07:10 Hi, guys.
00:07:11 Hi, Mary.
00:07:12 Hi, Mary.
00:07:13 Mary, can I have a small sherry?
00:07:15 Yes, you can, if you get it yourself.
00:07:18 Now, I can't cook your whole damn dinner and serve cocktails, too.
00:07:21 Nor should you, Mary. I'll do it.
00:07:23 Dorothy, what can I get for you?
00:07:25 What I've had every single night of my life for the last 50 years, Jack.
00:07:29 Sherry. Right.
00:07:31 Kate? Kids?
00:07:33 Coke.
00:07:35 Coke.
00:07:36 It'll rot your teeth.
00:07:38 We know.
00:07:39 Children, why don't you go help your father?
00:07:42 Well, I suppose we can sit down.
00:07:48 Oh, can we?
00:07:50 Keep it up and I'll leave everything to Mary.
00:07:52 So, what cause have you taken up this week?
00:07:58 And do bleeding heart liberals ever bleed to death?
00:08:02 Could we please not do this, Mother?
00:08:04 Fine, I'll change the subject.
00:08:07 Did you and Jack have another fight today?
00:08:09 No, we're not fighting anymore, Mother.
00:08:12 We're separating.
00:08:14 So, you've had no experience in sales?
00:08:21 Oh, sure I have.
00:08:23 I sell things to my family all the time.
00:08:26 Like eating vegetables, doing their homework.
00:08:29 You know, things they don't want to do.
00:08:31 That's the ultimate hard sell.
00:08:33 Well, that's not exactly how I do it.
00:08:36 Well, that's not exactly what we're selling here.
00:08:38 What I really need is someone with sales and fashion experience.
00:08:42 And you're not it.
00:08:44 I wouldn't exactly call what you sell here fashion.
00:08:49 I don't know. I don't know what I would do with you.
00:08:55 Nice drapes, Martha.
00:08:59 You look fabulous.
00:09:01 You won't be single for long, honey.
00:09:04 No.
00:09:05 What? You're not a hairstylist, you're not a manicurist, right?
00:09:08 You're nothing to...
00:09:10 What are you?
00:09:12 I guess I'm someone who knew that streaks were pretty much finished in the 90s.
00:09:16 Thank you.
00:09:19 Oh, hey, streaks are not...
00:09:21 [phone rings]
00:09:22 I think we should show up the week of the 10th.
00:09:46 And let's book the inspection.
00:09:48 When can we get...
00:09:50 What, the 15th?
00:09:51 Yeah, because I'd like to have all that done.
00:09:53 Okay.
00:09:55 Terrific. Thanks.
00:09:56 Can I help you?
00:10:03 Or do you just want to stand there all day?
00:10:06 I was thinking about standing here all day.
00:10:09 Suit yourself.
00:10:12 Want to know why?
00:10:14 Sure. What the hell? It's a little slow. I got time.
00:10:19 Because if you're a woman rapidly approaching 40,
00:10:21 and you've made the unbelievably stupid mistake of thinking that trying to raise a family was a good thing,
00:10:27 all you ever wanted to do was be a wife and a mother,
00:10:30 and your children grow up and they can't wait to get away from you.
00:10:33 And your marriage is falling apart, so you try to start over with no skills whatsoever.
00:10:38 And all you hear is that damn song, "All by myself."
00:10:43 Then you would just be a fucking idiot.
00:10:47 Then you would just stand here, too.
00:10:49 You're right.
00:10:53 That song's irritating.
00:10:56 You want to come in for a cup of coffee?
00:11:00 Okay.
00:11:03 Brad. Mac. This is...
00:11:12 What's your name?
00:11:14 Kate. Kate Mayer.
00:11:16 Hi, Kate. I'm Maggie.
00:11:17 Hi, Maggie. Which one's Brad and which one's Mac?
00:11:20 Hi, I'm Brad. No, I'm just kidding. I'm McNally. Mac for short.
00:11:25 And this is Brad. Just... Brad.
00:11:28 Kate's having a really bad day. She doesn't know whether to go left or right, so I invited her in for a cup of joe.
00:11:33 Great. Let me get that. Cream, sugar?
00:11:35 Black, please.
00:11:37 Hey, why don't you come take a load off?
00:11:39 Uh, Brad?
00:11:42 She won't mind. Take a break.
00:11:46 Here you go.
00:11:47 Thank you.
00:11:49 I'm sorry about all this. I was just having a moment out there, and Maggie here took pity on me.
00:11:54 No, it's fine, really. No explanation needed. Look at who I have working for me.
00:11:59 If I didn't hate you already, I'd take offense to that.
00:12:02 See what I mean?
00:12:04 You don't really need a receptionist.
00:12:07 You're not just offering me this job because you feel sorry for me, a soon-to-be-separated mother of two.
00:12:13 No, I really need a receptionist. Maggie and I are out all the time, and Brad, you know, doesn't like to answer the phone, so...
00:12:18 Does he ever talk?
00:12:20 You know, he's not really a people person. He's brilliant, just not a people person.
00:12:25 It's kind of a bad job for him to have, then, don't you think?
00:12:27 Yeah, well, he's working on it.
00:12:29 Okay, so when do you want me to start?
00:12:33 Well, when's good for you.
00:12:35 How's tomorrow?
00:12:37 Great. Great.
00:12:38 Okay. That's terrific.
00:12:39 Thank you.
00:12:41 Oh, you're welcome.
00:12:42 I'll see you tomorrow.
00:12:43 Yeah, terrific. Great.
00:12:44 Okay, bye-bye.
00:12:45 So, you hired her?
00:12:52 Yeah.
00:12:53 She's cute.
00:12:55 Oh, shut up.
00:12:56 Hi.
00:13:07 Hi.
00:13:09 How was your day?
00:13:11 Good.
00:13:12 I got a job.
00:13:14 Good.
00:13:15 Repeat back to me what I just said.
00:13:18 You... you said you had a good day and you did the usual.
00:13:22 You don't do that in court, do you?
00:13:24 Do what?
00:13:25 Makeup stuff.
00:13:26 No, I don't makeup stuff.
00:13:28 I just said I got a job. How you got the usual out of that, I'm not sure.
00:13:32 Wait a second. You got a job?
00:13:34 What kind of job?
00:13:36 I'm going to be a receptionist at a real estate office.
00:13:39 A receptionist? That'll barely cover sitter costs. What is the point of that?
00:13:43 I mean, come on, Kate. Isn't that kind of silly and counterproductive?
00:13:46 Maybe it is, but you gotta start somewhere, Jack.
00:13:48 Hi.
00:14:04 Morning.
00:14:07 Va va voom.
00:14:09 Keep your hands off of her, Mac.
00:14:11 I'm gay. Maggie thinks it's hysterically funny to make little homophobic jokes about it.
00:14:16 You're gay?
00:14:18 Yep, but don't worry, it's not contagious.
00:14:20 I bet she's never met a gay person up close and personal.
00:14:23 How is that possible in 2002?
00:14:26 No, no, no. I've met a few. It's just they don't usually look like you, do they?
00:14:30 I've got a plaid shirt I could slip into.
00:14:32 I tried it once. Wasn't my cup of tea.
00:14:34 I don't know if I'm really asked you.
00:14:36 I'm sorry.
00:14:37 But if this bothers you...
00:14:38 No, no. Actually, I think it probably makes you more interesting than I thought you were.
00:14:42 Really?
00:14:43 I didn't mean that. What I meant to say was, I think people should be able to be whoever they are.
00:14:51 This is your desk. We set it up for you. So, there you go.
00:14:55 Thank you.
00:14:56 You just answer the phones, haze realty, you know, transfer calls, take messages.
00:14:59 That's it?
00:15:01 And that's it.
00:15:02 It's kind of like stealing money, isn't it?
00:15:05 It is kind of. You know, I think the point to this job is to have some fun.
00:15:09 Because most of us here haven't had much.
00:15:11 We are the walking wounded.
00:15:14 I am not the walking wounded.
00:15:16 Yes, you are.
00:15:17 No, I'm not.
00:15:18 Yes, you are.
00:15:19 I don't know why I put up with this abuse.
00:15:20 Because you love us.
00:15:21 No, I don't.
00:15:22 Yes, you do.
00:15:23 No, I don't.
00:15:24 See, it's not really like stealing money.
00:15:25 Thanks, you guys, for making my re-entry painless.
00:15:31 Our pleasure.
00:15:32 You go on and see your kids and we'll lock up.
00:15:34 Okay. Good night.
00:15:35 Night.
00:15:36 Have a good one.
00:15:38 You too.
00:15:39 You like her.
00:15:45 I can tell.
00:15:47 Will you stop trying to set me up with every woman that walks through that damn door?
00:15:52 You know what? You're an idiot.
00:15:54 Because you believe if a person is gay, that they like all people of the same sex.
00:15:59 That we are indiscriminate shark-like creatures who never sleep, who are just looking for our next victim.
00:16:04 Well, guess what? Some of us actually do discriminate and don't want to sleep with every woman who ever lived.
00:16:09 Which, by the way, if that were true, would include our mothers.
00:16:14 And yes, I like her.
00:16:16 News flash, I like you too.
00:16:18 Doesn't mean I want to sleep with you either.
00:16:20 Got it?
00:16:21 Got it.
00:16:22 Good.
00:16:23 Let's go, guys.
00:16:28 Should I forward calls to your sub?
00:16:30 No, he won't be looking.
00:16:31 Are you going to be out of range?
00:16:33 No, you will be. You're coming with us on the caravan.
00:16:35 What's a caravan?
00:16:36 Geez, have you read any magazines, a book, anything?
00:16:39 A caravan's where all the brokers go on to see all the new houses that are on the market.
00:16:44 [music]
00:16:46 Isn't Brad coming?
00:17:08 You know, he doesn't like the caravans.
00:17:10 Well, why does he come on them?
00:17:12 For sure.
00:17:13 Maggie, I know it's none of my business, but it seems like Brad's not very good at his job.
00:17:21 That is correct.
00:17:22 And why doesn't Mac fire him?
00:17:25 You didn't hear this from me, but Brad used to be a computer geek at a dot-com.
00:17:29 It went under, and Mac brought him here.
00:17:32 Besides, Mac can never fire anyone.
00:17:36 It's loyalty to the point of absurdity, isn't it?
00:17:38 Yeah.
00:17:40 This is the part you really didn't hear from me.
00:17:43 He's her ex-lover's brother.
00:17:45 Well, why doesn't she help him?
00:17:49 That'd be hard.
00:17:51 She's dead.
00:17:53 [music]
00:17:59 [music]
00:18:02 [music]
00:18:04 Yuck.
00:18:29 Maggie.
00:18:30 Sorry.
00:18:31 I think it has potential.
00:18:33 You think everything has potential.
00:18:34 No, I'm serious.
00:18:35 You scrape off those cottage shoes, soon as she gets a new lighting fixture,
00:18:38 she'll get the pre-made ready-to-hang cabinets,
00:18:39 get a whole new line of the cheapo steel appliances,
00:18:42 painted white white,
00:18:44 and it's a gay man's dream.
00:18:46 What?
00:18:48 Am I right?
00:18:50 [phone ringing]
00:18:53 Hey, it's Realty.
00:18:57 May I ask who's calling, please?
00:18:59 Just one moment.
00:19:01 It's a Mr. Brubaker.
00:19:03 Hello, Mr. Brubaker.
00:19:08 Mm-hmm.
00:19:10 Great.
00:19:11 When can I bring over the paperwork?
00:19:13 Uh-huh.
00:19:15 No, tomorrow morning's fine.
00:19:17 Okay, bye-bye.
00:19:19 Yeah?
00:19:20 Yeah.
00:19:21 You have a tradition here.
00:19:22 Anytime a house is sold, you go out and celebrate my treat.
00:19:25 Girl, I'll be light and drunk.
00:19:27 Okay, bye.
00:19:28 You want to come?
00:19:29 Sure.
00:19:30 I'll ask Jack to stay with the kids.
00:19:32 You know, I have a suggestion.
00:19:33 Let's just tell him you have a business meeting.
00:19:34 I'd leave out the drinking and drunk part.
00:19:36 Okay.
00:19:37 Call him from the car.
00:19:38 Come on.
00:19:39 Come on, Kay.
00:19:41 Hey, JJ.
00:19:46 Hey, hey, guys.
00:19:47 All right.
00:19:48 Now, what's the purchase price to selling price?
00:19:50 You bet.
00:19:51 All right, my round.
00:19:52 My round.
00:19:53 Hey, hey.
00:19:54 What's going to happen?
00:19:55 [laughing]
00:19:58 And so, this guy says, "Does the carpet come with the house?"
00:20:03 And I say, "It's wall-to-wall.
00:20:05 What do you think?"
00:20:07 And then he says, "I don't know."
00:20:10 And then I say, "You're the biggest moron I think I've ever met."
00:20:16 And then I say--
00:20:17 This is like a damn miniseries with no end to it.
00:20:20 Not unlike South Pacific.
00:20:23 Nice scenery, no real point to it.
00:20:26 What, now you speak?
00:20:29 And by the way, it wasn't a miniseries.
00:20:31 It was a play, then a movie, then a badly miscast TV movie.
00:20:39 By the way, I hate you.
00:20:41 [laughing]
00:20:45 I think it's time for another round.
00:20:47 Yeah, Brad, you're buying.
00:20:48 Mac always pays.
00:20:50 Yeah, well, her money is your money, so what difference does it make?
00:20:54 [laughing]
00:20:57 Hey, what's it like being gay?
00:21:01 Well, you don't beat around the bush, do you?
00:21:06 No.
00:21:09 I don't know.
00:21:11 What's it like having blue eyes?
00:21:15 You know, I think I must be a little bit drunk because maybe that was an incredibly stupid question to ask you.
00:21:20 Oh, that's okay.
00:21:22 I think gay is kind of like being part of a freak show.
00:21:24 You know, people like to stop by the cage and stare.
00:21:31 I think what I meant was, when did you first know that you were attracted to women?
00:21:38 Like, when did you decide, that's it, I'm gay?
00:21:42 It's not really a decision.
00:21:44 And I think I've always known.
00:21:48 Must be hard.
00:21:49 Is it? Is it hard?
00:21:51 Well, you get to disappoint a lot of people, starting with your parents.
00:21:54 Oh, my God, my mother, who is the most judgmental person alive, would have a field day with that.
00:22:01 Mom, not only have I disappointed you as a daughter, a wife, a mother, and a homemaker, but I've decided to sleep with women.
00:22:13 I ought to say it just to piss her off.
00:22:15 Yeah, that'd probably do it.
00:22:31 Honey, I'm home.
00:22:34 Hey, Bob. Hey, good boy.
00:22:36 Hey, you good boy.
00:22:38 Let's get something to eat. Come on.
00:22:40 Come on. Let's go.
00:22:44 So, uh, this is just to show you what we deal with, you know.
00:22:49 But don't be daunted by this couple.
00:22:51 They've interviewed every real little tip.
00:22:53 Okay?
00:22:57 Well, we haven't been happy about what any of you people have said in terms of your commissions.
00:23:03 We're too high. It's as simple as that.
00:23:06 Well, the normal commission is 6%, so what were the other agents asking for?
00:23:11 3%.
00:23:14 Well, I'm new, but it seems to me that at either of those numbers, you're going to get an agent who's not going to work very hard at selling your house,
00:23:21 and you want to move to Florida sooner rather than later. Am I right?
00:23:25 Also, I noticed some problems with your foundation, not to mention the fact that Mac here is the best agent in town,
00:23:30 which means you'll get a higher price for your house, making lower commission a moot point. Am I right?
00:23:39 [laughs]
00:23:42 Problems with your foundation. Where'd you come up with that?
00:23:47 Bob Vila.
00:23:49 Oh, you are something.
00:23:55 What?
00:23:56 You'd make a great agent. You should think about getting your license.
00:24:00 What?
00:24:01 Your real estate license. We'd all help you.
00:24:04 I don't know what to say.
00:24:05 Say yes.
00:24:07 I don't know. All right. Say you'll think about it.
00:24:13 Okay. I'll think about it.
00:24:15 Good.
00:24:18 This is good.
00:24:19 What is this?
00:24:20 It's really good.
00:24:21 I know. I think it's one of my principal interests in tax.
00:24:23 Did you have a question?
00:24:25 I think you are.
00:24:26 Okay.
00:24:28 [inaudible]
00:24:43 Now, when an inspection goes wrong, what do you do?
00:24:49 Well, the contract all inspectors use holds them harmless for liability, therefore you don't have to do anything.
00:24:56 Excellent.
00:24:58 Yeah.
00:24:59 [cheering]
00:25:07 You haven't been looking for a place to move to at all, have you?
00:25:09 I've been too busy.
00:25:10 Jack, I'm going to get some listings tomorrow, and if you can't go see them, I will.
00:25:15 Fine. Hey, come on. We're late. You know how Bernie and Sandy hate that.
00:25:19 Please.
00:25:23 [inaudible]
00:25:27 You look fantastic.
00:25:29 Why? What are you doing differently?
00:25:31 Have you had Botox or a peel?
00:25:33 No.
00:25:35 She's having an affair.
00:25:36 I'm not having an affair. I'm having a life.
00:25:40 Bloody dog.
00:25:43 That's not it. There's something else going on.
00:25:46 What is it?
00:25:49 Jack and I are separating.
00:25:51 Oh, my God.
00:25:52 You can't be serious.
00:25:54 We're not happy, and we haven't been for a long time.
00:25:57 Nobody's happy. What has that got to do with anything?
00:26:01 Kind of everything.
00:26:03 [inaudible]
00:26:05 Guys, I've got to tell you something.
00:26:10 Kate and I are splitting up.
00:26:13 You are the perfect couple.
00:26:15 Our looks are deceiving.
00:26:18 This is going to change our whole lives.
00:26:20 Sandy, it's not about you.
00:26:22 It's about us.
00:26:23 Look, I love you guys.
00:26:25 I hope you don't take sides, and we can all stay friends.
00:26:28 I don't get it. What happened? Just out of the blue, the two of you just decided at the same time to separate? Poof.
00:26:33 I think Jack would have been fine with things staying the way they were.
00:26:38 I asked for the separation.
00:26:42 [sigh]
00:27:03 You okay?
00:27:05 Yeah, I'm fine.
00:27:10 If this one's not good, I'm going to blow my own brains out.
00:27:13 Yeah, well, I'll put my head next to yours and make it two for one.
00:27:16 Are you sure you're the one that should be finding Jack an apartment?
00:27:20 Well, if I don't, nobody will.
00:27:27 Kate? Kate?
00:27:31 What's wrong? Are the kids all right?
00:27:33 They're fine.
00:27:36 Well, then what am I doing home in the middle of the day?
00:27:38 So I can take you to see your new apartment.
00:27:41 And then we're going to tell the kids.
00:27:47 [music]
00:27:52 Andrew!
00:27:54 Yo, turn it down!
00:27:57 Yo, it's off.
00:28:00 Speak.
00:28:01 Time is precious.
00:28:02 Sometimes you're smarter than you know.
00:28:05 Sam, we need to have a talk.
00:28:08 I know all about the birdies and the bees. Remember, we have this talk each and every year.
00:28:12 Oh my God, you're exhausting.
00:28:14 I know that too.
00:28:16 Mom, Dad, what?
00:28:18 Well, this is going to be hard, so just give us a minute, okay?
00:28:34 You know that your dad and I both love you very much, right?
00:28:40 Yeah.
00:28:42 And how in life sometimes things change.
00:28:46 Yeah.
00:28:48 Well, the problem is that we don't love each other enough.
00:28:54 And we're going to separate.
00:28:59 Did you hear what I just said?
00:29:02 Yeah.
00:29:06 I've known for a long time that things were bad.
00:29:10 I was just hoping for a miracle.
00:29:13 I know, sweetie. We were too.
00:29:16 I don't want to upset your life or Adam's.
00:29:19 You both mean the world to us.
00:29:22 This is the last thing we wanted to do.
00:29:25 All I know is I want my parents to stay together forever, just like every other kid.
00:29:33 But Adam and I are also tired of hearing you guys fight all the time.
00:29:37 I don't understand. Why did you start fighting?
00:29:41 What happened?
00:29:43 I don't know.
00:29:44 Why do people forget why they loved each other in the first place?
00:29:48 Because even though we try to do the best we can, we're human.
00:29:51 And sometimes we get stuck and just can't move.
00:29:59 I'm so sorry, sweetie.
00:30:06 [knock on door]
00:30:08 Yeah?
00:30:11 Hey, sport.
00:30:12 Hey.
00:30:14 Listen, your mom and I have something pretty important to talk to you about, so...
00:30:19 Can you put the Game Boy down?
00:30:22 Thanks.
00:30:41 Okay? You have all my numbers if you need me, right?
00:30:45 Yeah.
00:30:51 Come here, little man.
00:30:57 I want you to listen to me.
00:31:00 Everything's going to be all right, okay?
00:31:02 I'm only five blocks away.
00:31:05 I'll see you all the time.
00:31:34 I'm sorry I'm late.
00:31:37 Why are you all standing there?
00:31:39 Why are you staring at me?
00:31:42 I'm fired, aren't I?
00:31:44 Yeah. I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire you as our receptionist because I'm hiring you as a real estate agent.
00:31:52 You passed. Maggie opened it.
00:31:54 I couldn't stand the suspense.
00:31:59 Congratulations!
00:32:04 That's great.
00:32:05 That's just great.
00:32:06 Well, I'm a little excited.
00:32:08 My first open house.
00:32:10 Yeah, don't get too excited.
00:32:12 We haven't seen it yet.
00:32:18 I'll find a pony in there somewhere.
00:32:19 I know you will.
00:32:37 Ta-da!
00:32:41 Oh, wow.
00:32:43 Nice, huh?
00:32:44 Yeah.
00:32:53 Okay, let's sell this house.
00:32:54 Okay.
00:32:55 Can I use Vex?
00:32:56 Yeah.
00:32:59 Kate.
00:33:00 They looked fine when you did them last time, five minutes ago.
00:33:04 I know.
00:33:06 It's ridiculous.
00:33:07 I feel like I'm 15 years old waiting for my first date.
00:33:10 I'll get over that as soon as the hundredth loopy-loop walks through that door.
00:33:17 Go ahead. You got to answer it.
00:33:18 Right. Okay.
00:33:19 I'm going.
00:33:24 Hello.
00:33:25 Hey.
00:33:26 Hi. Welcome. Come on in.
00:33:27 Thanks.
00:33:31 Oh.
00:33:32 Oh, my.
00:33:36 This place hasn't been touched in, like, 50 years.
00:33:39 That's right.
00:33:40 But I think that's a good thing.
00:33:42 No bad addition to contend with.
00:33:44 A clean palate.
00:33:46 One owner.
00:33:48 Has anybody died here?
00:33:53 Well, yes.
00:33:55 But we all have to die somewhere, don't we?
00:33:59 Thank you.
00:34:00 Yeah, thanks.
00:34:01 Bye.
00:34:02 Thanks for coming.
00:34:03 Okay.
00:34:04 Okay.
00:34:05 Thank you.
00:34:06 Bye.
00:34:07 Bye.
00:34:12 Do we have to tell them the bad things when we show a house?
00:34:15 Yes, Kate.
00:34:16 Remember? Disclosure.
00:34:17 Yeah.
00:34:19 Must be doing something wrong.
00:34:21 A little advice?
00:34:23 You want to hook them into the potential before you tell them that it's only had one owner.
00:34:26 That way, they're slightly invested in the house before they find out someone died there.
00:34:30 Great. Thanks.
00:34:31 Hang on.
00:34:32 Thank you.
00:34:36 There you go.
00:34:37 That's fine.
00:34:40 What was your girlfriend's name?
00:34:44 Lauren.
00:34:48 When did she die?
00:34:51 Five years ago, May 30th.
00:34:54 Or didn't Big Mouth Maggie tell you that part?
00:34:56 I'm sorry. It's none of my business.
00:34:58 No, it's okay.
00:34:59 I'm sure it's still incredibly painful.
00:35:02 You know, you always think that it will get less painful, but the fact of the matter is it doesn't.
00:35:12 How long were you together?
00:35:15 Almost ten years.
00:35:18 I mean, we'd known each other for a long time before that, but I wasn't ready to acknowledge it.
00:35:25 And she waited and waited.
00:35:28 And I just wish that I hadn't wasted so much time we didn't end up having.
00:35:38 Yeah, but I think you were lucky to have the time you did with her.
00:35:44 She was lucky to have it with you.
00:35:54 Okay, shall we?
00:36:08 Hi, Sandy. Rita.
00:36:11 How are you?
00:36:12 Fine.
00:36:13 Good. How are you?
00:36:15 I'm okay.
00:36:17 This is McNally Hayes, Sandy, Rita.
00:36:19 Hi.
00:36:20 Hi.
00:36:21 Nice to meet you. We're late.
00:36:24 Have a nice lunch.
00:36:42 Oh, hi. I didn't know whether or not I should use my key.
00:36:45 No, you can use the key.
00:36:46 Oh, okay.
00:36:47 So, got the TV all hooked up, plenty of junk food, it'll be just like home.
00:36:52 Hey, give me a kiss.
00:36:54 You too.
00:36:58 See you.
00:37:26 Bye.
00:37:36 Bye.
00:37:46 Bye.
00:37:56 Bye.
00:38:06 Bye.
00:38:16 Bye.
00:38:26 Bye.
00:38:36 Bye.
00:38:46 Bye.
00:39:07 Kate.
00:39:09 What are you doing here?
00:39:11 Well, I was alone in my house for the first time in my entire life.
00:39:15 I had no kids, I had no husband, I have no friends.
00:39:20 So I came here.
00:39:24 Come in.
00:39:30 This is Bob.
00:39:40 Hi, Bob.
00:39:43 What's the matter with you, huh?
00:39:45 You never seen anybody fall apart before?
00:39:48 Bob, what are the rules, huh?
00:39:51 Bob, I think you know them.
00:40:01 My kids left to spend the night with Jack for the first time.
00:40:05 And I just came undone.
00:40:09 I've never not been with my kids.
00:40:15 You know, it's funny, I gave up on myself so long ago to be Jack's wife.
00:40:21 Or be Sam's mother, Adam's mother.
00:40:27 To be a homemaker.
00:40:30 I was like a Stepford wife.
00:40:34 But I wanted this.
00:40:36 I wanted things to change.
00:40:41 And now, I don't know, I don't know anything.
00:40:48 Do you want them back?
00:40:50 No.
00:40:53 I don't.
00:40:57 But this has torn my kids' lives apart.
00:40:59 And that's the hardest part of it.
00:41:00 It's overwhelming.
00:41:02 Yeah, of course it is.
00:41:05 But I...
00:41:08 I wanted more.
00:41:11 I wanted more for my life.
00:41:13 I wanted more for myself.
00:41:19 I wanted more from Jack.
00:41:23 Which he couldn't or didn't want to give me.
00:41:30 Maybe he didn't know how to.
00:41:33 I think maybe it was me.
00:41:35 Kate.
00:41:38 Something in me provoked him.
00:41:41 No, it...
00:41:42 I don't know.
00:41:45 I don't know anything anymore.
00:41:47 You know what?
00:41:49 This is not all your fault.
00:41:51 Really, it's not.
00:41:54 Okay.
00:41:55 You made the right decision.
00:41:57 And you're gonna be fine.
00:42:00 Okay? You're gonna be fine.
00:42:05 Kate, don't.
00:42:09 Why?
00:42:10 Because you don't know what you're doing.
00:42:12 You don't know what this means.
00:42:14 Yes, I do. It's what I feel.
00:42:16 It's a little more complicated than that.
00:42:18 You're straight, and this is wrong, and...
00:42:21 You know, you're just responding to, um...
00:42:23 To a little kindness.
00:42:25 To a little attention, that's all.
00:42:27 It's not... You just don't have a clue.
00:42:29 That's not what I'm responding to.
00:42:31 I'm not some stupid teenager man.
00:42:33 Kate, I'm gay, and I know what it means.
00:42:35 This is my life, not some abstract thought or feeling.
00:42:38 It isn't a switch I get to turn on and off,
00:42:40 and it's not to be taken lightly.
00:42:42 I don't take this lightly.
00:42:46 You know, most of my life, I lived a lie.
00:42:49 Trying to be my mother's daughter.
00:42:52 Not acknowledging the fact that I was gay
00:42:54 'cause I was so scared of the hate and the shame.
00:42:59 Until I met Lauren.
00:43:02 And she taught me how not to be afraid.
00:43:07 But this, it scares the hell out of me.
00:43:12 And I don't want to be scared anymore.
00:43:15 And I'm not the one to take another person on that journey.
00:43:19 'Cause the first trip almost killed me.
00:43:23 I didn't mean to put you in that position.
00:43:25 Okay.
00:43:27 It wasn't my intention.
00:43:28 Okay, I know.
00:43:32 I don't know what this means. I've never done this before.
00:43:38 But you should know, I was not looking for a quick fix to my problems
00:43:42 or the touch of another human being, whoever it was.
00:43:50 Believe it or not, everything changed for me the minute I met you.
00:43:59 It scares the hell out of me, too.
00:44:08 I should leave.
00:44:12 [♪♪♪]
00:44:16 [♪♪♪]
00:44:20 [♪♪♪]
00:44:23 [phone ringing]
00:44:48 Hey, it's Realty.
00:44:49 This is Mrs. Wilson.
00:44:50 Let me try her cell.
00:44:52 The person you are trying to reach is out of range.
00:44:56 I'm sorry, she's out of range. Can I take a message?
00:44:59 Have her give me a call back.
00:45:01 I'll tell you a call, Mrs. Wilson.
00:45:03 Thank you. Bye-bye.
00:45:05 Where is she? She hasn't been in the office in two days.
00:45:10 I'm going out for a smoke.
00:45:14 Brad, you think you could answer the phones just this once?
00:45:17 I don't think so.
00:45:18 It gets really scary. You let it go to voice mail.
00:45:22 [phone ringing]
00:45:25 Maggie, what's going on?
00:45:40 Where's Mac?
00:45:45 Honey, I've known Mac, it seems, longer than I've known myself.
00:45:50 And where she is is in the dumper.
00:45:53 Screwed.
00:45:57 What are you talking about?
00:46:01 I've only seen her come unglued three times.
00:46:07 When she met Lauren.
00:46:09 When she lost Lauren.
00:46:13 And when she met you.
00:46:18 [sigh]
00:46:22 Are you avoiding me?
00:46:45 No.
00:46:47 Well, you haven't been in the office in two days.
00:46:50 I've been working.
00:46:52 I get that. Except you haven't not come into the office ever before, if I'm not mistaken, which I'm not.
00:46:58 I don't think that's a real sentence, is it?
00:47:00 Who cares?
00:47:03 Aren't you going to ask me in?
00:47:08 Okay.
00:47:10 Do you want to come in?
00:47:17 Well, if this is what it's like being attracted to someone of the same sex, it doesn't feel too good. You're right about that.
00:47:23 What are you talking about?
00:47:24 Being shunned. You're shunning me.
00:47:27 No, I'm not.
00:47:28 And you know this isn't just about you. It's about me, too.
00:47:32 The least you could do is be an adult and speak to me.
00:47:36 You're expected more dialogue from a woman.
00:47:45 What happened the other night shouldn't impact our friendship.
00:47:50 We can still be friends, can't we?
00:47:56 I don't know how to be your friend now, after that.
00:48:02 Why?
00:48:05 Because I feel more for you than a friend should feel.
00:48:10 So what, we should just stop speaking to each other and I should quit working for you and just disappear because it's easier?
00:48:16 No. I don't know.
00:48:21 Why is this so simple for you?
00:48:22 It's not.
00:48:24 That's the part you're not getting.
00:48:26 Look, I have a big life with lots of people in it and I was prepared to see what my feelings were about, knowing the risks involved.
00:48:35 Not knowing if it was real.
00:48:41 I understand if you can't.
00:48:46 But I don't understand that you don't want to talk to me or see me.
00:48:55 Don't you know that's all I want to do?
00:49:01 Is to see you.
00:49:03 Is to talk to you.
00:49:06 [Sighs]
00:49:32 [Music]
00:49:35 I remember the day you swept my heart away
00:49:42 And now life wouldn't be the same without you
00:49:50 One touch of your embrace, the hurt was all erased
00:49:58 Never could I love like this before, 'cause it feels so much more than my heart ever knew
00:50:14 Never will I have to search again for a shelter from the rain
00:50:24 You gave me a brand new start and I found the missing part in you
00:50:40 Jack.
00:50:50 Hi.
00:50:51 Hi. The kids aren't here, remember?
00:50:52 No, I want to talk to you for a minute.
00:50:54 Sure, I have to leave in a second, but come on in.
00:50:56 Thanks.
00:51:00 You look very nice.
00:51:02 Thank you.
00:51:03 Where are you going?
00:51:04 Dinner with Mac and some clients. What do you want to talk about?
00:51:07 Well, I got the divorce papers.
00:51:11 Absolutely positive about this.
00:51:14 Yeah, I am.
00:51:16 I'm sorry, Jack.
00:51:17 [Doorbell rings]
00:51:21 Hi.
00:51:22 Hi.
00:51:24 Hey, Jack. How are you?
00:51:26 Fine.
00:51:27 Nice to see you again.
00:51:28 Yes, nice to see you.
00:51:30 Well, I hope you have a successful dinner with your clients.
00:51:38 Bye-bye.
00:51:39 Bye-bye.
00:51:49 Thanks.
00:51:53 That's a great outfit. Where did you get it?
00:51:55 You know, I never thought I'd say that to someone I was dating.
00:52:00 Dinner with clients, huh?
00:52:02 What was I going to say? That I was going on a date with you?
00:52:05 You know by the look on his face that the wheels are starting to turn already, right?
00:52:08 So, if he hasn't figured it out, he will soon.
00:52:11 I'm going to tell him.
00:52:13 Just not now.
00:52:16 When?
00:52:18 When you're sure it isn't just a phase?
00:52:20 That's not fair.
00:52:21 Sure it is.
00:52:23 I mean, I don't know, maybe you're just trying it out like a car.
00:52:26 That's insulting and ridiculous.
00:52:28 Oh, Kate, I've seen it happen a million times before.
00:52:30 Really? A million?
00:52:33 Don't be stupid. You know what I meant.
00:52:36 Actually, I don't know what you mean because, you know, I'm new to this secret club of yours with your secret little handshakes.
00:52:42 We have to stop this. We have to be careful now.
00:52:45 Why?
00:52:46 Isn't that one of the perks of being with a woman? You talk and talk and talk about everything until you go insane.
00:52:55 If you're trying to pick a fight with me because you're scared about what's happening, instead of just saying how terrified you are, consider yourself successful.
00:53:07 It's just a little unexpected coming from you.
00:53:36 Let's go out, Mac.
00:53:39 No.
00:53:40 Get up.
00:53:52 Okay, I'm out back. Now what?
00:53:55 You're in there moping around like a sad sack. What did you think would happen?
00:53:59 You plunge into your first post-lorem relationship with a straight, confused mother of two.
00:54:07 You should give her some time.
00:54:10 What I should have done was to have stuck to my life plan, which was to never, ever get involved with anyone again.
00:54:20 There's a problem with that. I think I'm in love with her.
00:54:34 Let's see.
00:54:40 Hi.
00:54:43 I just want to say I'm sorry. I pressured you and I just forgot for a moment what you were going through because it's been so long since I've been through it.
00:54:55 I did it without kids, so if you can't do this, I understand.
00:55:02 I just want you to know that no matter what happens, you'll always have a job and you'll always have me as a friend.
00:55:27 Hi.
00:55:28 We didn't have to ring our own doorbell.
00:55:30 Yes.
00:55:32 Yes.
00:55:33 See you on Saturday.
00:55:37 How's it going?
00:55:39 Uh, not great. They hate my place. They'd rather be in their own rooms. I can't blame them.
00:55:45 Why don't I come over sometime and try and help you make it more of a home?
00:55:49 Sure. Thanks.
00:55:52 Bye-bye.
00:55:53 Bye.
00:55:54 Bye.
00:56:18 I have to tell you something.
00:56:20 Sure.
00:56:26 Go ahead, sweetie.
00:56:31 As grown up as I pretend to be, I'm really not.
00:56:36 One minute I understand it and then the next minute I don't.
00:56:42 I'm really not okay that we're not a family anymore.
00:56:45 But we are still a family.
00:56:48 We're not a church or a guest, but a family, nonetheless.
00:56:51 It's not the same.
00:56:54 And the thing is, I guess I thought life would always be the same.
00:56:59 And that things would never change.
00:57:01 Which is stupid, because everything changes.
00:57:08 I never thought the first person to move out of the house would be Dad.
00:57:16 Sandy! This is a surprise.
00:57:29 Can I come in so I don't have to stand out here groveling in front of the neighbors?
00:57:33 Sure. Come on in.
00:57:43 I just came over to apologize.
00:57:46 I guess I didn't want you to shake things up, because then that just means I'd have to take a look at my life and see how crappy it is.
00:57:54 I get it. And I'm really glad you came over.
00:57:58 Me too.
00:58:01 Do you love your job?
00:58:02 Yeah, I do.
00:58:03 Are you going to start dating again soon?
00:58:05 Oh, God, what a terrible thought.
00:58:07 Well, you know, it's funny you should mention that.
00:58:10 I'm going to tell you something, because even though you're a snob, I think you're an open-minded snob.
00:58:16 And I think I am attracted to someone.
00:58:19 Who?
00:58:22 The woman I work for.
00:58:26 You're joking.
00:58:28 No.
00:58:30 I don't believe you.
00:58:33 Why would you be so shocked? Your sister's gay.
00:58:37 Because I don't approve of her lifestyle.
00:58:40 Since when did you become a bigot?
00:58:42 I'm not a bigot.
00:58:44 It must be tiring to sit in judgment of everyone, Sandy.
00:58:52 Jack?
00:58:53 Dad!
00:58:54 Hey, hey, I'm in the kitchen.
00:58:59 Hey.
00:59:00 Oh, my God. I'm impressed.
00:59:02 Yeah, I made enough if you want to stay.
00:59:08 Sure, sure, that'd be nice.
00:59:10 Great.
00:59:13 You know, Dad, if it isn't any good, we could always hire a cook or a maid who cooks.
00:59:18 Yes, I realize that, but I am trying to spend more quality time with my children, if you don't mind.
00:59:25 You don't mind. It's just, do you think poisoning your kids is the best way to bond with them?
00:59:31 So?
00:59:33 Not bad.
00:59:35 Yeah.
00:59:37 I was very impressed, Jack.
00:59:39 Thank you.
00:59:40 Can I go over Betsy's?
00:59:42 Yes.
00:59:44 After you do the dishes.
00:59:46 That's okay, honey, I'll do them.
00:59:48 You see how shallow their love for me really is?
00:59:50 Can I go to Peter's?
00:59:52 What is wrong with you guys?
00:59:53 You have your mother and father in the same place, together again, and you want to leave.
00:59:58 Yeah.
00:59:59 Yeah.
01:00:00 Go, get out of here.
01:00:02 Hey, hey, hey, kiss, kiss.
01:00:04 Bye, hon. Have a good time.
01:00:07 See you.
01:00:08 See you. Bye, Dad.
01:00:09 Bye-bye.
01:00:12 Well, it's good to know some things never change.
01:00:14 Yeah.
01:00:16 [Clears throat]
01:00:18 You know, I could do some stuff in the living room, if you like. Help make things better.
01:00:41 Yeah, that'd be great.
01:00:44 [Piano music]
01:01:12 See, I think it looks a little better, huh?
01:01:15 Maybe there's some curtains, you know, and, uh, black and white photos, you know, stuff.
01:01:22 Yeah, it definitely looks better.
01:01:26 Jack, we need to talk.
01:01:28 No.
01:01:30 The rule is you can only say that once in a lifetime to the same person.
01:01:35 Let's sit down.
01:01:41 [Clears throat]
01:01:43 I need to tell you something so you don't find out another way.
01:01:53 Uh, what are you talking about?
01:02:00 I'm attracted to someone, and I'm pursuing it.
01:02:09 Who is he?
01:02:11 It's not a he. It's Mac.
01:02:17 Mac?
01:02:20 Who's Mac?
01:02:23 What, you mean Mac, your boss?
01:02:25 What, Mac's a woman? What is...
01:02:28 You can't be attracted to a woman.
01:02:31 She's a person, Jack.
01:02:33 What are you talking about? She's a woman.
01:02:36 Wait a second. I don't understand this.
01:02:39 What are you telling me here?
01:02:41 That our whole life together was this big lie?
01:02:45 No, that's not true.
01:02:47 Well, then explain something to me. How can you suddenly be attracted to a woman?
01:02:51 I don't know.
01:02:54 I wasn't even looking for any kind of relationship, and I'm certainly not one with a woman.
01:03:00 Wait a second. Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second.
01:03:04 Is this the problem? Is this the problem?
01:03:07 All along, deep down inside, you had these feelings, you felt this way, and that's why our marriage failed?
01:03:16 No, the failure of our marriage is both our faults.
01:03:20 It's nothing to do with Mac or any other woman. I've never had feelings for another woman in my life, Jack.
01:03:26 And I met Mac after we split.
01:03:29 I can't believe this.
01:03:34 Well, you don't have to. It's not about you.
01:03:39 Oh, really? Really? It's not about me?
01:03:42 That's great.
01:03:44 Okay, let me put it another way.
01:03:48 It's my life, and I can live it any way I want.
01:03:53 It doesn't concern you.
01:03:55 Okay.
01:03:57 But it does concern my children.
01:04:01 And I will not have them around this.
01:04:04 What does that mean?
01:04:05 It means that you have put them through enough, and you are not going to do this to them, too.
01:04:11 Monday morning, I am filing papers for sole custody.
01:04:29 Kate, what's wrong?
01:04:32 I told Jack about us.
01:04:42 Mainly because Sammy came by to apologize, and like an idiot, I thought I could share something with my best friend who has a gay sister.
01:04:48 Instead, she's the moral majority.
01:04:51 I'm an idiot.
01:04:53 Yeah, bigotry is stunning, isn't it?
01:04:55 I'm afraid that's not the end of it. Jack wants to take the kids away from me.
01:04:59 He's just scared. You know, he doesn't really mean it.
01:05:02 I'll tell that to the court he's filing papers with Monday.
01:05:05 Oh, God.
01:05:06 I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell the kids. I feel like they've been through enough already, but I'm afraid if I don't, he will.
01:05:12 And I don't want him to drag you into court, either.
01:05:14 Don't worry about me.
01:05:16 I think I have to tell them before he does.
01:05:19 Are you sure?
01:05:21 I don't think I have a choice. He's forced my hand.
01:05:26 Maybe you should wait.
01:05:28 Well, I have to tell Sam, at least, before he does.
01:05:31 Listen.
01:05:41 I'm sorry for the saying yes, saying no, saying yes thing.
01:05:45 Just please have faith in me.
01:05:48 I know I sound like a broken record, but are you sure about this? About us?
01:05:53 I don't know if this is going to last forever.
01:06:03 But the night that we fought and you left, it was as if someone pulled my heart out.
01:06:08 And when you came back, you brought my heart with you.
01:06:12 So, right here, right now...
01:06:16 Yeah, I'm sure.
01:06:19 There are some real consequences, which you've just encountered.
01:06:23 Are you prepared for more of that?
01:06:25 No.
01:06:27 Kate, I don't want you to lose your kids because of me.
01:06:31 I don't want to lose my kids, either.
01:06:35 The truth is, maybe I'm not prepared for any of this, but I made an adult, conscious choice to be with you.
01:06:43 Not a man, not a woman, but you.
01:06:48 I am prepared to stand by my heart, which I've given to you.
01:06:54 As complex as it might be, this much I know.
01:06:59 [Sighs]
01:07:02 Hey, Mom.
01:07:26 Hey, baby.
01:07:29 [Sighs]
01:07:31 Why'd you pull me out of a play date?
01:07:39 I was kidding.
01:07:41 What's happened? Dad? Adam?
01:07:44 No, honey, everyone's fine.
01:07:47 Then what?
01:07:54 I need to tell you something that's gonna be very difficult.
01:07:58 On a scale of one to ten, with ten being a divorce, what would it be?
01:08:02 Jeez, Sam.
01:08:03 Six?
01:08:04 I don't know.
01:08:05 Okay, just tell me.
01:08:07 Well...
01:08:10 It's hard to put into words.
01:08:12 I'm not gonna guess.
01:08:15 Well, you know how your teacher, Mr. Jackson, lives with a man, and I've always told you you could love or be with anybody?
01:08:25 Yeah.
01:08:27 Well, you know Mac, the woman I work with?
01:08:30 Yeah, she's a lesbian, so?
01:08:33 How did you know that?
01:08:34 I'm not dumb.
01:08:35 But how could you know? She doesn't even look like one.
01:08:37 No, she doesn't look like one.
01:08:39 Look, Mom, could you please tell me why you dragged me out of Betsy's house?
01:08:43 I...
01:08:45 I really... I don't know how to start.
01:08:47 Mom, just start somewhere.
01:08:51 Well, um...
01:08:54 Mac and I have become very good friends, as you know.
01:08:59 And I know this is gonna sound strange, but...
01:09:04 I'm attracted to her.
01:09:11 I don't understand. What do you mean?
01:09:14 I'm attracted to Mac like I used to be attracted to your father.
01:09:21 You mean in a sexual way?
01:09:24 Yeah.
01:09:27 That would make you gay, and you're not gay.
01:09:30 No, I'm not. I mean, I wasn't, but if I want to be with Mac, I guess I am.
01:09:37 You've only known her for a few months. I mean, I don't understand. Did you like girls before?
01:09:42 No.
01:09:43 But you said people were born that way.
01:09:45 Well, I don't look at Mac as a woman. I look at her as a person.
01:09:52 I don't understand. You weren't born gay, but now you are, and...
01:10:02 You're with a woman?
01:10:04 I don't get it.
01:10:06 I know. I... I don't know what happened. I don't know what it means. Does this mean I'm gay forever now?
01:10:12 I... I don't know, Sam.
01:10:16 I know this is a shock to you. It's a shock to me, too, but...
01:10:22 I told your father, and he's really upset.
01:10:24 Gee, I wonder why.
01:10:29 Don't let the nose ring and the purple streak fool you.
01:10:35 I'm upset, too.
01:10:45 Honey, I care immensely for Mac.
01:10:51 And the only reason I'm telling you all this is because your father wants to take you away from me.
01:11:00 Maybe he's just angry, maybe not, but I'm telling you because I love you, and I don't want to lose you.
01:11:14 You know what? I don't really want to talk about it anymore.
01:11:20 I raised you to have an open mind.
01:11:24 Please, honey, can't we just talk about this?
01:11:26 No. No. We're done talking.
01:11:47 I don't think it's a very good idea.
01:11:49 Jack is angry enough to try to get everyone on his side to get custody, including my dear old mother,
01:11:54 who, by the way, is rich enough to buy the court.
01:11:58 Even Bob doesn't think it's a good idea.
01:12:01 I'm just hoping that blood is thicker than I've been led to believe.
01:12:04 Don't count on it.
01:12:19 Hey, Katie.
01:12:21 Is your mother expecting you?
01:12:23 No.
01:12:24 You know how she hates surprises.
01:12:26 Yeah, well, she's going to love tonight.
01:12:31 She's in the bath now, but she'll be down soon.
01:12:34 What is it?
01:12:36 I'm going to try this out on you first.
01:12:51 Had second thoughts.
01:12:53 Brad, sorry. I...
01:12:57 Come on in.
01:12:58 No.
01:12:59 Okay.
01:13:00 Stand there.
01:13:02 I just came by to tell you that I think Lauren would have really liked Kate.
01:13:22 Okay, Katie, what's going on?
01:13:26 Well, I've met someone romantically.
01:13:33 Well, if you're happy, I'm happy.
01:13:35 You know I'm not speaking for your mother, but I don't know why you're making such a big fuss of it.
01:13:43 Well, the thing is, the person that I met and I'm involved with romantically is a woman.
01:13:57 What?
01:13:59 You don't have anything to say?
01:14:02 I'm thinking about it.
01:14:09 I haven't seen you this happy since you got that swing out back when you were 12.
01:14:15 So it's okay with me.
01:14:21 May I make a suggestion?
01:14:23 Sure.
01:14:24 I'd get out of this house before your mother comes down.
01:14:26 Well, when did Jay Paul get his name who you're talking to, Mary?
01:14:29 I know it's too late for your soap opera.
01:14:31 No, it's not.
01:14:34 Well, well, well.
01:14:36 An unannounced visitor.
01:14:38 You know how I love that.
01:14:39 I know you do, Mother.
01:14:44 That's too much, Mary.
01:14:45 No, trust me, it's not.
01:14:51 Well, what is it?
01:14:53 I hope you haven't come over here to ask me to babysit for your children now that you're a single mother with a job.
01:15:00 God, that was hard to say.
01:15:02 You know, Mother, I think they'd sooner have their eyes gouged out.
01:15:05 You know what your problem is, what it's always been?
01:15:07 No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me.
01:15:09 You're a smartass.
01:15:10 Always have been.
01:15:11 I know.
01:15:14 What?
01:15:16 Just spit it out.
01:15:21 Well, I've met someone and I'm seeing them romantically.
01:15:29 Well, that was a little fast, don't you think?
01:15:31 Yeah.
01:15:33 And it's a woman.
01:15:41 Mary, you don't need to hear this.
01:15:49 I won't have it.
01:15:51 Do you hear me?
01:15:52 It's really not up to you, Mother.
01:15:54 It's against God.
01:15:56 You'll burn in hell for it.
01:15:58 Well, then I'll burn in hell for it.
01:16:00 It's not natural. Don't you understand that?
01:16:04 To care about another human being who is spectacular is natural.
01:16:09 I've finally come back to life.
01:16:11 Mother, I've waited years for someone like Mac to come along.
01:16:14 What kind of a name is that for a woman?
01:16:17 Is that a lesbian nickname of some sort?
01:16:20 No, it's not.
01:16:24 I did not raise my daughter to be a lesbian.
01:16:27 This is not about you.
01:16:29 I won't have it.
01:16:31 You'll stop seeing her right now.
01:16:35 I'm an adult now, much to your astonishment.
01:16:37 You can't boss me around anymore.
01:16:41 But you can stop seeing me, which I hope you won't.
01:16:47 Because in spite of all of our problems, you're my mother and I love you.
01:16:57 I'm your only child.
01:17:01 So I hope once the shock wears off, you'll try to open your mind to this and accept it.
01:17:08 There's one thing you can count on.
01:17:11 That day will never come.
01:17:15 [Music]
01:17:25 [Music]
01:17:46 What?
01:17:48 Sorry.
01:17:49 Didn't go well with your mother, did it?
01:17:51 Not.
01:17:59 What happened?
01:18:01 She pretty much did the biblical thing and disowned me.
01:18:05 I didn't have to give her time.
01:18:06 My mother did the same thing and now we couldn't be closer.
01:18:08 First of all, your mother and my mother are not the same.
01:18:11 We've never been close.
01:18:13 And she doesn't need time because she's going to feel this way forever.
01:18:17 So in addition to not having a mother, I have a daughter who's processing it, a son who doesn't know,
01:18:23 an ex-best friend who all of a sudden is related to Jerry Falwell, a husband who wants to take my kids away.
01:18:29 So all in all, I'd say this coming out thing's been a big hit.
01:18:33 I did try to warn you that it could get really messy.
01:18:38 I didn't know it'd get this messy.
01:18:39 If I did...
01:18:42 What?
01:18:44 You wouldn't have done it or you wouldn't have had feelings for me or you wouldn't have gone through with it?
01:18:51 I don't know.
01:18:54 Then I should leave.
01:18:55 No, no, no, no.
01:18:57 Then what do you want me to do?
01:19:00 I don't know.
01:19:02 Because I can't sit here and watch you lose everything because of me.
01:19:05 One minute I think I can handle it and the next I'm sure I can't.
01:19:10 Then I think of you and I know I'm completely out of my mind.
01:19:17 [Music]
01:19:21 [Music]
01:19:25 [Music]
01:19:29 [Music]
01:19:33 [Music]
01:19:36 [Music]
01:19:39 [Music]
01:19:42 [Music]
01:19:45 [Music]
01:19:48 [Music]
01:19:51 [Music]
01:19:54 [Music]
01:19:57 [Music]
01:20:00 [Music]
01:20:03 Jack.
01:20:04 Kate.
01:20:05 [Music]
01:20:09 I'll go.
01:20:10 No, no, it's fine.
01:20:12 This concerns both of you.
01:20:16 Mary called me and she told me how Dorothy reacted.
01:20:20 Which was pretty much how I reacted.
01:20:23 And I don't want to be like your mother.
01:20:26 You know, I don't want to be small and petty.
01:20:31 But I do want to be small and petty but Sam says that's a really bad thing to be.
01:20:40 She's a kid and somehow, I don't know how, she knows that.
01:20:46 She also forced me to come down here which I really did not want to do.
01:20:51 My instinct was to hurt you.
01:20:54 The way you hurt me.
01:20:57 But see, I don't want to do that either.
01:21:00 I don't want to take the kids away from you.
01:21:06 I don't understand what you're doing.
01:21:11 Maybe I never will.
01:21:12 Maybe I would have known how to compete with another guy but I have no idea how to compete with a woman.
01:21:24 I'm very confused.
01:21:30 But what I loved about you when we met, I still love about you.
01:21:42 I want you to be happy.
01:21:46 And I want to be happy too so...
01:21:51 I'm going to try to do better.
01:21:56 That's all I wanted to say.
01:21:59 [Music]
01:22:25 Hey beautiful.
01:22:26 Hey.
01:22:29 Would you consider us living together someday in the far away future?
01:22:35 Not the reaction I was hoping for.
01:22:38 Oh.
01:22:39 Just, you need to slow down.
01:22:42 Okay.
01:22:43 I just jumped through some huge hoops.
01:22:44 I'm too tired right now to even think about jumping through another one.
01:22:47 Alright.
01:22:49 And as your saying goes, love me, love my dog, mine is love me, love my two kids and they're not nearly as well trained as Bob is.
01:22:58 Hey.
01:23:00 Are you prepared for that?
01:23:02 An instant family?
01:23:04 One of whom doesn't even know about us?
01:23:08 Yes.
01:23:11 Well I'm going to have to catch my breath, that's a big leap.
01:23:17 Okay.
01:23:24 It's just a breath.
01:23:33 Since when do you care if your grandma comes to anything?
01:23:35 I don't.
01:23:36 I'm doing this for mom.
01:23:55 Don't get up.
01:24:03 If you've come here to lecture me, you know where the door is.
01:24:07 We didn't come here to lecture you.
01:24:10 I came here to invite you to my graduation.
01:24:15 Isn't that sweet?
01:24:17 And I'm sure your mother and that woman will be there too.
01:24:21 I'm sorry, Samantha, but I won't be where they are.
01:24:30 First of all, that woman has a name.
01:24:34 It's McNally.
01:24:35 And second of all, this isn't about you.
01:24:39 It's about me.
01:24:41 This is my graduation.
01:24:44 And if you don't come, you don't have a daughter or a granddaughter.
01:25:01 It's so much easier, Dorothy, to remember why you love someone and to move past things, even if you don't understand them.
01:25:18 You can just pretend to, like I'm doing.
01:25:25 Kate's a remarkable person.
01:25:29 She gave me that kid.
01:25:32 Even you have to admit, that's some kid.
01:26:01 [applause]
01:26:24 [music]
01:26:39 We present to you the graduating class of 2002.
01:27:06 I'm very proud of you, Sam, and I love you very, very much.
01:27:11 Don't you dare make me cry.
01:27:13 It took me three hours to get my eyeliner on.
01:27:17 I'm really sorry it took me so long to come around.
01:27:20 I know you didn't raise me that way.
01:27:23 Honey, what made you change your mind?
01:27:27 I realize that you're really happy now, and you haven't been for a long time.
01:27:32 That's it.
01:27:33 Simple, huh?
01:27:35 You are a spectacular person.
01:27:41 You stop pushing me.
01:27:42 I'll get there when I get there.
01:27:43 Yes, and we'll all be dead by then.
01:27:45 What do I call her?
01:27:46 What do I call them?
01:27:48 They have names, Grandma.
01:27:50 Start there.
01:27:56 See about that.
01:27:57 I'm glad you took that thing out anyway.
01:27:59 For graduation.
01:28:00 Why did you do this?
01:28:01 Doesn't this wash out?
01:28:03 No, it's permanent, Grandma.
01:28:05 Mother, this is what I want you to meet.
01:28:08 This is Mac.
01:28:09 This is my mother, Dorothy.
01:28:11 Hello, Dorothy.
01:28:13 Nice to meet you.
01:28:19 This is Brad.
01:28:20 Hi, how are you?
01:28:21 Hi.
01:28:22 We're staying over for dinner.
01:28:23 Yes.
01:28:24 We're all working together.
01:28:25 Yes.
01:28:26 I'm glad you're here.
01:28:51 I'm glad you're here.
01:28:58 I'm glad you're here.
01:29:05 I'm glad you're here.
01:29:12 I'm glad you're here.
01:29:19 I'm glad you're here.
01:29:26 I'm glad you're here.
01:29:32 [BLANK_AUDIO]