Watch as beloved comedian Maria Bamford reveals the true joy and sense of community involved with being an L.A. standup | dG1fcC13ZmxSMFVMN1E
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 I hope you have beloveds.
00:02 You know, Scott and I are now a family together,
00:05 and we found out that we have a hotline in common over the choir.
00:10 And it's something you can teach yourself.
00:13 We developed it at the same time in life.
00:15 We're on 10 years old, he in Philadelphia, me in Duluth.
00:18 And that pastime is longing for death.
00:21 [laughter]
00:23 Suicidal ideation, it does eat the clock.
00:26 It's not great.
00:28 We're both having a terrible day, and I said, "Hey, what are you thinking about?"
00:32 And he said, "What are you thinking about?"
00:36 "Oh, no!"
00:38 [laughter]
00:40 Do not worry about us. We have from the suicide prevention people
00:44 those safety contracts. We filled them out.
00:46 I, Maria I. Scott, will not kill myself.
00:50 Nothing prevents impulsive self-harm quicker than paperwork.
00:54 We have both clamped and magnetized chip clips on the front of our refrigerator,
00:59 so if ever one of you hobos comes over and tries to help yourself to a Cran-Raz-Le-Croix...
01:04 [laughter]
01:07 Hmm.
01:09 [laughter]
01:15 You know. You know we're okay.
01:18 It's always good to mention the suicide hotline, 988--I guess is the new one--
01:23 Don't feel gaslit if there is ever a 45- to 90-minute wait.
01:28 Sometimes there's a lot of memes.
01:31 Healthcare memes make you feel like an idiot.
01:33 You know, like, "Hey, you! Ask for help!"
01:36 [laughter]
01:38 "Hey! Tell someone!"
01:41 [laughter]
01:43 "Hey, you with the ongoing trauma and the schizoaffective disorder and unhousedness, get a massage."
01:50 [laughter]
01:52 Sometimes you can ask for help, and it is nonexistent or super shitty.
01:56 So my answer is to lower the bar to accessing mental health care.
02:02 Call anybody. Call fucking anybody.
02:04 I called Hertz Rent-A-Car.
02:06 And this woman perked up on the first ring.
02:10 I told her what was going on.
02:12 I said, "I'm using valuable resources in society. I'm no longer needed.
02:19 And I have a howling pain that's rushing through my body.
02:23 It's not actual pain, but it's a meaninglessness, like a nihilism."
02:28 I'm not using the right words.
02:30 And she said, "All I can do is rent you a car."
02:33 [laughter]
02:35 But before hanging up on me, she did say,
02:38 "You know what, sweetheart? I do believe every human life has value.
02:42 You take care."
02:44 [laughter]
02:46 [applause]
02:48 Is that not nothing?