Welcome to the Sex After 60 project, Cosmo’s first-ever fully digital issue dedicated to the under-explored, under-discussed, under-celebrated sex experiences of experienced women. We asked nine of these women to spill all the juicy details about their sex lives after 60 and boy, did they deliver! Enjoy their amazing advice and check out the rest of the digital issue here: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/interactive/a45893760/sex-after-60/
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PeopleTranscript
00:00 Do these old people really have sex with each other?
00:03 Old women?
00:04 Kind of old, like 30.
00:06 Single older women are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.
00:09 They don't know I'm having the best sex of my life.
00:12 Sex is definitely better in my 60s than it was in my 20s.
00:17 In my 20s, I was very insecure.
00:20 It was more a performance.
00:22 I really didn't know what I was doing.
00:24 In my 20s it was always about trying to please.
00:26 Now it's about pleasing myself.
00:28 I cared probably more about what my stomach looked like or what my thighs looked like.
00:33 I don't care about that anymore.
00:35 I had the wrong partners.
00:36 It was just kind of like wham bam.
00:38 I don't even know if I got the thank you ma'am part.
00:40 I no longer feel guilty or insecure about it.
00:44 I reached to this age, I don't care too much what other people think about me.
00:50 Now I'm like, "Meow."
00:51 They get everything wrong about being older.
00:54 The older women portrayed in movies and TV shows were very dowdy.
00:58 Corny and cranky.
00:59 Frumpy, boring, frigid.
01:02 Prudes.
01:03 After menopause, your life is over.
01:05 You're not important anymore.
01:07 I thought that there would be no sex in my later years.
01:10 A 60-year-old back in the 70s was an old woman.
01:14 And now we're just very vibrant and just beginning to enjoy our lives.
01:17 60 is like a reawakening.
01:20 It's rediscovering and understanding who I really am.
01:25 I became a more sexual person after menopause.
01:29 One day, I woke up feeling like a very sexual being.
01:34 And that part of me had been missing for a very long time.
01:38 I don't know where it came from.
01:39 It did happen after I was 60.
01:41 I just started appreciating myself more.
01:45 Older women are really wilder.
01:47 And it's partly because of the freedom that you get from being more contained in your body,
01:53 of having lived in it so long and knowing yourself better.
01:56 Is sex something I feel comfortable to discuss when I'm younger?
02:00 No, never.
02:01 This is the first time I discussed sex with someone other than my husband.
02:06 I was born and raised in China.
02:09 Because of Asian culture, we never talk about sex.
02:13 As I'm getting older, I actually feel my self-confidence is getting higher.
02:18 And I really don't care how people think about me anymore.
02:21 A lot of my girlfriends have much younger men because that's who can keep up with them.
02:27 We are revved up and ready to go.
02:29 My best sexual experience came out of nowhere.
02:32 This man was like Houdini and Gandhi and throw it in with a little Einstein.
02:38 I mean, he just knew everything.
02:40 He was 25 years old.
02:42 He called and I said, "You know, you're too young. I can't date someone so young."
02:45 I really regret that now.
02:47 Who cares how old they are?
02:48 I got a divorce and I was delighted to get that divorce.
02:52 And I was dating like crazy on Tinder.
02:54 I was fucking everybody.
02:55 And I found this dude who was so handsome.
02:59 Let's just say I did rule the roost there, but the kink that went on in our, my bedroom was fantastic.
03:07 And I was more comfortable with pushing it a bit, just much more imagination.
03:13 I recently had a gentleman caller.
03:15 He was very good at what he did.
03:17 But the reason why I believe it was so good was because I was present in my body.
03:22 I was in charge of my own pleasure.
03:25 I'm always willing to let my partner know that's not what I like.
03:29 Moan a little bit. Have fun with it.
03:31 Yes, I like when you're behind me. Do this, do that.
03:36 A good kiss is just as good as a good fuck.
03:40 As I got older, I felt more comfortable experimenting sexually.
03:45 I felt more comfortable with foreplay.
03:48 Foreplay is everything. I mean, I think as you get older, it's mostly foreplay.
03:52 Foreplay in sex is the most important thing.
03:56 Read my lips. I'll do it in braille, any way you want me to communicate it.
04:00 Everything needs to be as organic and natural as possible.
04:05 It's time to get on down with the get down.
04:07 My orgasms now are great because I had my first orgasm at the age of 59.
04:14 Five, nine. Fifty-nine.
04:17 Because I didn't really know what an orgasm was.
04:19 I felt inhibited and I just had these thoughts about my body.
04:23 I was a turn-the-light-off kind of person. I'm not that person anymore.
04:27 Truth be told, I didn't really have that many orgasms when I was younger.
04:30 And now, the sky's the limit.
04:33 My orgasms when I was younger were probably non-existent.
04:37 I learned somewhere that no matter what's happening in between the sheets,
04:42 you're supposed to be like, "Oh yeah, baby."
04:44 I can tell you for sure that if you're watching this and you've ever had sex with me,
04:48 I was faking it. I thought it was rude to, you know, not congratulate you.
04:53 All of that's over.
04:54 I don't even think I knew what it was.
04:56 I was very unclear. Now I'm very clear.
04:59 Orgasm. And we're not leaving the bed until I have an orgasm.
05:04 Toys are fun. They're fun.
05:06 When I was younger, no, I didn't even think of it.
05:08 When I first started having sex, after not having it for a long time,
05:12 my body went through incredible changes that weren't pleasant.
05:15 I didn't understand why I was getting bladder infections like I was.
05:18 I didn't understand why I was bleeding.
05:20 I had to go to the gynecologist and ask her all these questions.
05:23 Finally, I said, "Is it just because I'm having sex again that all this stuff is coming out of my body?"
05:27 And she said, "Oh, absolutely." And she said to me, "Use it or lose it."
05:31 And I didn't realize how important it was to have solo sex and just to keep it up
05:36 so that it doesn't become unattainable again.
05:38 I would say the sexiest thing about me, my breasts.
05:41 Mine are real. And they're big and real. It's amazing.
05:44 I think my smile is sexy.
05:46 I like my body. I like my shape. I have a great personality.
05:49 I feel my shoulders are the sexiest part of my body.
05:52 Do I think my tattoos are sexy? Yes, I think they're sexy.
05:56 What's my favorite part of my body? My legs.
05:59 Because I do lots of yoga and dance.
06:02 Probably my smile. My eyes. Comfortable in my own skin.
06:06 I'm hot as hell.
06:07 I love my gray hair. I love my eyes. I love my face. I love my voice.
06:13 I have great tits. The sexiest part of me are my tits.
06:17 I should have said brains, but I'm sorry.
06:19 We are sex kittens.
06:22 We know what we want, and we are not afraid to ask for it.
06:27 I had no idea that you could have a sexual life at 70.
06:32 It's really, really, really been a wonderful surprise.
06:35 It just gets better with time. It's like wine.
06:38 (gentle music)