Lisa Nichol's delivers a powerful speech about escaping from an abusive, broken relationship and finding wholeness within herself.
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00:00 In my perceivingly worst relationship
00:02 where my fiance picked me up and threw me three feet across the room
00:06 and choked me until I passed out.
00:07 When I can figure out the purpose of that relationship
00:11 now I can bring Lisa 100% fully forth
00:14 so that my next doesn't pay for my ex.
00:17 Because until you are complete and whole in some of those answers
00:21 you're trying to avoid them in the future.
00:24 Until you can be whole and complete with them.
00:26 It's purposeful.
00:28 Any relationship you're no longer in
00:30 is either purposeful or life-giving.
00:33 Figure out which one and figure out what it gave you.
00:35 What life did it give you?
00:36 What purpose did it fulfill?
00:37 And then move on into your breathtaking future.
00:39 That someone's gonna cross your path tomorrow,
00:42 next week,
00:44 next year
00:46 and they need the love that you have.
00:48 But in order for them to get it
00:50 you need to fill your cup up
00:52 and you need to be in overflow
00:54 because you can't love them from your cup.
00:56 You gotta always love them from your saucer.
00:58 Yes, because when you love them from your saucer
01:03 you never ever run out.
01:04 You never love on an empty tank.
01:06 Love never hurts.
01:08 A lot of times when love is hurting
01:09 it's because you haven't given you everything you need yet
01:12 and you're trying to give other people what you still need.
01:15 You're trying to give them your oxygen
01:17 which is why you're sitting around going
01:18 "Hurry up!"
01:22 "I never made it to Broadway so this is my best damn stage."
01:27 So, and so recognizing
01:29 that when you love from your overflow
01:32 that's the most responsible thing that you could do
01:36 and that the greatest love
01:39 that you can ever give the world
01:41 is the demonstration of what loving you looks like.
01:45 She can give herself a thousand second chances
01:47 and I can give myself one more
01:49 and if he can give himself another chance
01:51 if he can get up after that financial fall
01:53 if he can get up after that divorce
01:55 if she can get up after that breakup
01:56 if he can get back up after having to leave his children
01:59 if she can get back up after having that child
02:01 and she can define herself
02:02 then what can I do?
02:04 And so your demonstration of how madly in love with you you are
02:08 helps me to recognize how madly in love with me I get to be
02:13 and then when I love myself enough
02:14 then all my extra just oozes over onto you.
02:17 And when you let your light shine like that
02:22 because you've fallen in love with you
02:24 all of a sudden you get in the corner
02:26 and that light for a moment brightens up someone's momentary darkness
02:30 and then you've been a blessing to someone else.
02:32 Humanity starts with somebody.
02:34 Humanity is the sister at the grocery store.
02:38 Humanity is the black man that's walking down the street
02:41 who looks like he can use a hello and a smile.
02:43 Humanity is the Asian woman who's in the corner
02:46 who can use some love.
02:47 Humanity is the white man who's in the corner
02:50 who might not say hi to me
02:51 but if he sees love on my face
02:52 then he knows that I mean him no harm.
02:54 I'm his sister.
02:55 Humanity is each one of us.
02:57 I want to love the journey and I want to feel the journey
03:00 and in order for my yes to have value
03:02 my no needs to be said
03:04 and I want to exercise my no and my yes.
03:06 I want to dance until my knees hurt.
03:08 I want to stay awake until I doze off in the middle of a sentence
03:11 because the conversation is so good.
03:13 You know, I want to laugh until my belly aches.
03:16 I want to sleep until the sun wakes me up.
03:18 I want to find out what does my song sound like even off-key.
03:23 I want my heart to skip a beat
03:25 and I want my stomach to turn in knots
03:28 because he just took my breath away by the way he looked at me.
03:31 I don't want to miss a moment of this life called love
03:34 but every time I look in the mirror at Lisa
03:37 I want to look at her and I want to say
03:40 God, I love walking with you.
03:42 I love holding your hand.
03:44 I love this journey and I'm proud.
03:46 I'm proud of the way you wear imperfection.
03:50 And so I say that love starts with self-love.
03:55 [Music]