All the times host Jo Koy bombed in 2024 Golden Globes. Source: CBS
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00:00 Then they asked me if I saw every movie and every TV show and then I said yes, I
00:04 lied
00:07 Only watched beef. I love you Ali
00:10 You know to me it's mandatory I'm Asian
00:13 But not only that it killed you killed it Ali
00:16 But but anyway, I'm sorry. I just uh, I just know I'm gonna tell you that the minute I signed the contract I did
00:23 I locked myself in a room and I started to binge watch everything. I was watching Oppenheimer
00:28 I
00:29 Loved Oppenheimer. I loved Oppenheimer. I just I just got one complaint needed another hour
00:35 Felt like it needed some more backstory
00:39 My New Year's resolution for 2024 is to finish Oppenheimer in 2025 like seriously
00:47 It's I'm almost there. I love Oppenheimer
00:50 especially the first season
00:57 Oppenheimer
00:59 Oppenheimer answered a lifelong question that's been on my mind for years. Yes
01:04 Scientists do get laid
01:07 As long as they look like Cillian Murphy Barbie is on a plastic doll with big boobies. I
01:13 Watched Barbie. I loved it. I really did love it
01:17 I don't want you guys to think that I'm a creep but it was kind of weird being attracted to a plastic doll
01:25 Just something about your eyes, right?
01:27 The whole show just close your eyes everyone just looks into your eyes and Margo it's not always about you
01:36 The key moment in Barbie is when she goes from perfect beauty to bad-breath cellulite and flat feet
01:45 Or what casting directors call character actor?
01:54 Some I wrote some other people wrote yo, I got the gig ten days ago you want a perfect monologue yo, shut up
02:01 You got you're kidding me, right?
02:04 Slow down. I wrote some of these and they're the ones you're laughing at Robert De Niro's here. I'm sorry. I'm a fan. I'm a fan
02:12 I'm fanning out. I love you Robert. Okay, if it's awkward, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I
02:18 Had to do that in front of you. I know it sucks
02:21 I'm a bit awestruck. This guy's amazing decade after decade. He just kills it every single time
02:27 I don't know how you do it man. Swear to God your last performance. It's got to be your greatest performance ever
02:33 How'd you get her pregnant at 80?
02:35 CGI CGI white people stole everything
02:43 You guys
02:46 Not like 97% you guys stole a hundred percent of everything you took the land you took the oil
02:53 You took the premise of the movie
02:56 What that was your premise
03:02 That's hilarious, okay, it's just that the room is really white I want salt burn I want salt burn
03:10 You know what I loved about salt burn I
03:15 Learned that satanic families have feelings, too
03:17 Very key, okay there is very good. Where's Barry kill you see this?
03:23 We're over. Where's your penis seated?
03:27 down front
03:30 That was a real star of the show. That was a real star. Very cute. He's penis
03:35 If you haven't seen salt if you haven't seen salt burn, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about
03:40 So watch it then you understand what I was talking about
03:43 Succession is coming to an end after four beautiful seasons. I loved it
03:47 I loved everything about it. The one thing that this show taught me is if you're a billionaire
03:52 pull out
03:55 None of them are gonna be like you
04:00 We're gonna be a bad version of you. Just pull out
04:03 The portrayal of the Queen was so good Prince Harry called her for it and asked her for money
04:10 Like I said, I didn't write all these
04:12 That wasn't right turns out Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will still get paid millions of dollars for doing absolutely
04:18 Nothing, and that's just by Netflix
04:22 The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL on the Golden Globes
04:28 We have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear it was just more to go to
04:33 Sorry about that
04:37 [BLANK_AUDIO]