They Aren't My 'Sugar Daddies' - We're In Love | LOVE DON'T JUDGE
RYAN, 28, Jeff, 45, and Kenny, 42, are a throuple based in Florida. Kenny and Jeff first met around 12 years ago on an online dating app and were married soon after. They always loved the idea of adding a third person to their relationship. Kenny told Truly: "It was never a conscious decision to open our relationship, it happened more naturally." They knew of Ryan from his online presence as a pilates instructor and Jeff approached him: "I sort of like stalked Ryan online in the most not creepy way possible," he joked. The attraction was there for Ryan too: "The first time we hung out it was just immediate infatuation and love and fun," he said. They have now been together for nearly a year. "This is not our first time in a three-way relationship, however, this is the most successful relationship that we see as long-term," Kenny explained. The throuple relationship works well for them as their personalities balance each other out. Although Kenny and Jeff have been together considerably longer, it feels like Ryan has been with them forever and they now couldn’t imagine being a couple again. Despite their happiness, the group have received judgemental comments for their unconventional way of life. "Sometimes people judge us for being so far apart in age," Ryan said. The original older couple has been accused of being his "sugar daddy" and claim Ryan is their "boy toy". In this latest episode of Love Don't Judge Jeff's friend Toranika comes over to confront the group on her concerns about their set-up.
Transcript
00:00 This is Ryan. He fell in love with Kenneth and Jeff, who are both in their 40s.
00:09 These are my two boyfriends, not my sugar daddies.
00:11 Ryan is quite a bit closer in age to my college students than he is to me.
00:16 People judge us for being so far apart in age.
00:19 And even their friends and family have questioned their unconventional relationship.
00:23 I mean, there's definitely people who are not cool with it.
00:26 I did have one family member close to me say, "Oh, that's adultery."
00:30 We are being sugar daddies.
00:31 I'm just a boy toy.
00:32 Today, my friend Taranika is coming over. I know that she does have some concerns.
00:37 Wait, so Ryan moved in? That's a big change, real quick.
00:42 I'm Kenneth.
00:48 I'm Ryan.
00:48 And I'm Jeff.
00:49 And we're a throuple.
00:51 We have three dogs and then we have a cat.
00:53 Full house.
00:54 Full house.
00:55 So Jeff and I first met when I was 29.
00:59 We met online and after that, we basically were inseparable.
01:03 We have been married for 12 years.
01:06 It was never a conscious decision to open up our relationship.
01:09 It happened more naturally.
01:11 This is not our first time in a three-way relationship.
01:14 However, this is the most successful and the relationship that we see us long-term.
01:20 I sort of like stalked Ryan online in like the most not creepy way possible.
01:25 Because during the pandemic, Ryan was doing Pilates on like, what do you call it?
01:31 I'm too old. What do you call it?
01:32 Live.
01:32 Live. Yeah, like live.
01:34 I thought he was like so adorable.
01:36 Funny enough, Kenny was also checking him out.
01:39 We just didn't know we were both checking him out, which is really what was funny.
01:42 It was creepy, right?
01:43 Yeah, like both of you.
01:46 First time we hung out, it was just immediate infatuation and love and fun.
01:51 We became an official thruple, I think, several weeks after we started hanging out.
01:56 We've been together for eight months.
01:58 So Ryan is 17 years younger than me.
02:00 I'm a professor at a school in Miami.
02:04 And it was brought to my attention from some of my students, actually,
02:08 that he's quite a bit closer in age to my college students than he is to me.
02:13 Some of them have made fun of me to my face in the funniest way possible.
02:17 But they're like, "Oh my gosh, it would be like you dating one of us."
02:20 And I'm like, "Oh God."
02:22 But it doesn't really seem like an age gap, especially because I'm sort of childish.
02:27 If you have a lot in common, it doesn't really matter what your age is.
02:29 He's just going to have to change my diapers when I'm older.
02:32 I notice the age gap the most when we're watching old films or movies and stuff.
02:40 And the boys know a lot about actors and actresses,
02:43 or even songs that came out before I was born.
02:46 Sometimes people judge us for being so far apart in age.
02:49 I feel like we get looked at for sure.
02:51 The looks are like when we all go in the gas station together,
02:53 like holding hands.
02:54 People give us a side eye.
02:56 Yeah, I think people are trying to work out who's the single one.
02:59 So that they can swoop in.
03:01 I mean, there's definitely people who are not cool with it.
03:04 Most of it has been creepy people.
03:07 "Hey, would you open up to a forest?"
03:08 Or, "Can I see your blank?"
03:12 "Would you guys start an OnlyFans?"
03:14 Or things like that.
03:15 People think that just because we're in a three-ethereal relationship,
03:18 that means that we're open to sleeping with everybody.
03:22 Which we're definitely not.
03:23 Fully committed to just the three of us.
03:25 I did have one family member close to me say at one point,
03:28 "Oh, that's adultery when you bring someone into your relationship."
03:32 Ryan is going to cause the demise of our relationship,
03:36 or me and Kenny's relationship.
03:37 Or people bring in religion.
03:39 Or that we are being sugar daddies,
03:42 which is definitely not the case.
03:44 Or that I'm just a boy toy.
03:45 Or that you're just a boy toy.
03:46 We just continue going about our daily business.
03:48 Let people think what they want to think.
03:50 Doesn't faze us.
03:51 Most people think it's awesome and kind of say things like,
03:55 "Oh my gosh, I wish that my wife would let me do that."
03:58 Or, "I wish my..." You know, that sort of thing.
04:00 Like, there's been a lot of people who are like,
04:02 "That sounds like a great time."
04:04 We sleep in this bed.
04:06 It is a king.
04:07 And it fits us just fine.
04:09 I am over here, typically.
04:12 I'm always in the middle.
04:15 And this is my side.
04:17 Except for this is not all that accurate,
04:19 because really, Kenny takes up this whole half of the bed.
04:24 And then we are all the way over here.
04:27 Having been in a couple relationship for so long,
04:30 it's nice to spread the duties around.
04:32 It's really nice, to be honest,
04:34 to just have the support of multiple people in your life
04:37 on a daily basis.
04:38 You know, not just emotional support,
04:39 but logistical stuff,
04:41 so it's not sort of falling on one person.
04:43 - I also feel like a third person in a relationship
04:45 offers a different perspective.
04:47 - Two is better than one.
04:48 Three is better than two.
04:50 - True.
04:51 - Today, my friend Taranika is coming over
04:53 and she's gonna tell us a little bit
04:55 about what she thinks about the relationship.
04:57 I know that she does have some concerns,
04:59 but I'm hoping that we can convince her
05:01 that we are A-okay and 100% good
05:04 for all of each other in the relationship.
05:06 - I've known Jeff and Kenny as a couple
05:08 for like six years or so.
05:11 I've never seen two people so in love.
05:13 When Jeff first told me about Ryan,
05:14 I was scared for them as a couple,
05:18 because I don't want anything to happen to them.
05:21 I want them to stay together forever.
05:22 And I was worried that a third
05:25 could break up the relationship.
05:26 - Cheers! - Cheers!
05:28 - Great to have you here.
05:29 - Yeah!
05:30 - So what did y'all do today?
05:31 - We did some Pilates.
05:32 - Oh my God, did you see that we turned
05:34 the second bedroom into a Pilates studio?
05:37 - Wait, so Ryan moved in?
05:39 - Mm.
05:40 - Yeah. - Yeah.
05:42 - A few months ago.
05:43 - Okay.
05:44 That's a big change, real quick.
05:46 - I mean, what did you like originally think
05:49 like when we were like, "Oh, we have, you know,
05:51 "we're open to a third in our relationship."
05:53 - I was a little bit concerned.
05:56 I'm really protective of you guys
05:58 and I love your relationship together,
05:59 so bringing in a third, I didn't know
06:01 if that was gonna hurt the relationship
06:03 or cause a breakup.
06:04 So it would really hurt me if that happened, so.
06:08 - You know, if Jeff can deal with me for 12 years,
06:11 nothing else is gonna break that up.
06:15 - True.
06:16 - Well, that's really important to me
06:17 because I just want everyone to be happy.
06:19 So how is the thruple working out?
06:21 - I mean, it's like, it's kind of nonstop action.
06:23 - Live our life like it was two of us, but there's three.
06:26 - Yeah, and it's nice to have another perspective sometimes,
06:28 you know, like three heads are better than two
06:30 or that kind of thing.
06:32 - So do you all see this as maybe getting married
06:35 in the future, possibly having some children?
06:38 What do you think?
06:38 - I don't know about kids.
06:39 - Yeah, I mean, and if marriage becomes legal
06:42 as a three-way couple, then definitely, yeah,
06:44 I mean, that's the direction we're heading.
06:45 - I would love to be married to you guys.
06:47 - If y'all get married, can I be the flower girl?
06:49 - Oh, of course.
06:51 - Yay!
06:52 - I'm so glad that we have your support.
06:53 - We appreciate it.
06:54 No one's getting pregnant anytime soon, though.
06:56 - Oh, damn.
06:57 (laughing)
06:59 - Now that I've observed them and I see that a thropple
07:02 works for them, I think that it is the perfect relationship.
07:07 They're so in love, nothing's changed.
07:10 It's only enhanced as a couple or as a thropple.
07:14 - To people who would judge our relationship,
07:17 I would tell them that they really don't understand it
07:20 or maybe they're just a little narrow-minded.
07:21 So I would tell them, unless they try it, don't knock it.
07:24 - I think this relationship works for all of us.
07:26 We feel like three pieces of a pie.
07:28 - It's really fun.
07:29 We always have a really good time.
07:30 - We all compliment each other in exactly the right way.
07:34 A pretty good combo.
07:35 - I never imagined that I would engage
07:37 in a thropple relationship and be so happy all the time.
07:41 (upbeat music)
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