Shocking that these masterpieces were never in theaters! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for made-for-TV movies that disappointed us the most.
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00:00 "What Kelly said to me-" "Patient. I don't care what Kelly said."
00:04 Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for made-for-TV movies that disappointed us the most.
00:10 No Disney Channel original movies, as they deserve their own list. Spoilers ahead.
00:15 "Stacey and her college boyfriend just called it quits."
00:17 "Which means, as of right now, she doesn't have a prom date."
00:20 Number 10 - Mazes and Monsters
00:24 "Why are you so impatient?"
00:28 "Because I love you and I want you to forgive me."
00:30 Everyone has to start somewhere, right?
00:32 Mazes and Monsters was Tom Hanks' breakout role, as a college student who's convinced he is actually his character in a fantasy role-playing game.
00:39 While playing, he has a mental breakdown that not only causes him to slip into the imaginative world, but culminates in him nearly jumping off a building.
00:46 While his friends luckily stop him in time, it's implied that he never gets better. Talk about a doubter ending.
00:51 "Weren't you saw the monsters?"
00:53 "We did not."
00:55 "We saw nothing but the death of hope."
00:58 "And the loss of our friend."
00:59 It was essentially playing into the moral panic surrounding Dungeons and Dragons at the time.
01:03 As a result, every aspect, particularly the acting, came off as melodramatic.
01:08 Presenting an innocent activity as one that can potentially be harmful to your mental health isn't just ridiculous, it's wrong.
01:14 "I only wish Robbie was coming back to school with us."
01:16 "But his mother says he has to keep seeing that doctor."
01:19 Number 9 - Jersey Shore Shark Attack
01:21 "I'm so hungover right now, I don't even remember what happened last night."
01:26 "That's it. We're through."
01:28 Sci-fi isn't known for their great original films, which have an unfortunate tendency to come out more silly than thrilling.
01:35 Chukacabra vs. the Alamo and Tasmanian Devils attempted to create stories around fictional creatures, with little success.
01:41 Jersey Shore Shark Attack was their attempt at a more realistic plot, given that shark attacks in that area have happened before.
01:47 "Therefore, mathematically, it's highly likely that this is the exact shark that killed Mr. Futau."
01:55 However, they also tried making it a parody of the Jersey Shore, even naming their characters things like the "Complication".
02:01 The tone was mixed, to say the least.
02:03 The attacks themselves were mostly poor CGI and bad practical effects, even for satire.
02:08 It came across like they were shooting for "So Bad It's Good", but unfortunately, they missed the mark entirely.
02:14 "Right now, everyone from Sandy Hook to Beach Haven are being warned, 'Yo, stay away from the water, bro!'"
02:20 Number 8 - Nature of the Beast
02:22 "I understand your skepticism, but we both know what you are, don't we?"
02:28 What genres go better together than horror and romance?
02:31 In this freeform flick, a man can essentially stave off his werewolf transformation by taking pills, until they're stolen from him.
02:38 It also tried to add new rules to the creature by suggesting that one could be cured if they killed the alpha werewolf.
02:44 "Okay, okay, um, Leslie, call a cab, tell it to come around back, uh, tell everyone I got sick and you have to take me home, but don't tell anyone about, you know."
02:52 If it was purely about him getting revenge against the wolf who turned him, then it could have been a fun concept.
02:56 However, the inclusion of the romantic subplot between the main character and his wife ended up distracting from that.
03:02 In fact, she uses the power of true love to get him to snap out of his werewolf brain, which is enough to make any horror fan cringe.
03:08 "Look at me, it's Julia!"
03:11 "Ugh!"
03:13 "This is not who you are! You're the man I love, I need you to be that man!"
03:17 Number 7 - The Santa Incident
03:20 "Anderson Control, this is Zulu Highrise. I have a bogey on radar, no visual yet. He's gone like a bat out of hell."
03:28 Hallmark is known for its holiday-themed TV movies, so maybe that's why its misfires, like Lucky Christmas, disappoint so much.
03:34 The Santa Incident explores the idea of Saint Nick being trapped in a small town after being shot down and still trying to continue on with his duties.
03:41 "Right, well, uh, Nick, you and I both know you didn't come in on any freight train. What were you up to the other night?"
03:50 Meanwhile, the agents who grouted him are trying to track him down because they're convinced he's an alien.
03:55 Unsurprisingly, this blend of different categories - holiday, comedy, and buddy cop - didn't mesh well together.
04:01 If they just focused on the relationship between Santa and the kids, then it would have been fine, but they got ahead of themselves and added too much.
04:07 "You changed my ringtone." "Yeah, it's festive." "Don't change my ringtone."
04:15 Number 6 - Co-Ed Call Girl
04:17 "Camilla is so pretty. I mean, she just carries herself so well, you know?" "You could be just like her."
04:24 Tori Spelling of Beverly Hills 90210 wanted to break out into more serious roles, and this led to her starring in several made-for-TV thrillers.
04:32 While some, like Mother, May I Sleep With Danger, are focused around toxic relationships, others touch on broader topics.
04:38 Co-Ed Call Girl is about her character being signed up for an escort agency as a prank and the tribulations that come with a job.
04:44 "I'm, uh, just a boring college student who's never been out of state and, uh, lives in a town called Tarzana."
04:50 "Wow, refreshing."
04:52 Already, the story is hinging on the suspension of disbelief, as that isn't how it would work at all.
04:57 While the feature was attempting to be dark, the supposedly serious scenes came across as cheesy more than unsettling.
05:02 It was a solid attempt at touching on an important topic, but it ultimately fell flat.
05:06 "You started out for Ron's house, but then changed your mind."
05:10 "Yes, I chickened out. I was scared of what Ron might do if I told him I wanted to quit."
05:17 Number 5 - Aaliyah, the Princess of R&B
05:20 "I don't understand how you still sweat me by working with some kid."
05:24 "Robert, if she was just some kid, would I be coming at you like this?"
05:27 Biopics are a risk, as getting even one detail wrong could turn the subject's fanbase against you entirely.
05:33 From the beginning, Aaliyah, the Princess of R&B wasn't a good idea, as her family expressed their disapproval from the start.
05:39 They ended up banning Lifetime from using most of her music, forcing them to record several covers and use lesser-known songs.
05:45 The result was a largely panned, borderline offensive representation of Aaliyah's life.
05:49 "R. Kelly wants to write and produce your album?"
05:51 "Can you believe it?"
05:52 "You're gonna go platinum right out the gate. Your whole world's about to change, sis."
05:56 The most jaw-dropping aspect was the attempted retelling of R. Kelly's predatory relationship with the star.
06:01 Both her family and fans felt that an actual movie studio would have been able to do the project justice,
06:06 and hopefully, the next attempt will give her the portrayal she deserves.
06:10 "I'm about to go to places I've always dreamt about."
06:12 "And what about Kel's? Will Kel's be joining you on any dates?"
06:16 "No."
06:17 Number 4 - Killdozer
06:19 "I'm no piece of candy."
06:21 "You're a sawball."
06:22 "Yeah. I'm the best shovel operator you'll ever have."
06:27 There's a subgenre of horror centered around inanimate objects coming to life to go on murderous rampages.
06:32 While it worked for Stephen King's Christine, other projects didn't have so much luck.
06:36 In 1974, ABC released Killdozer, which was about a bulldozer being possessed by a mysterious extraterrestrial force,
06:43 and subsequently going on a killing spree.
06:45 "Well, the truth is, we don't know anything for a fact."
06:48 "Except that bulldozer kills."
06:50 "That's good enough for me."
06:51 As the machinery picks off workers one by one,
06:54 the audience is treated to some unintentionally hilarious close-up shots and alien noises.
06:58 The final battle also somehow manages to be void of any excitement.
07:02 If it hadn't taken itself so seriously, it could have been viewed as a tongue-in-cheek parody.
07:06 However, despite everything about it, the film has still managed to land a cult following.
07:10 "Nothing."
07:11 "The hung's gone. The thing's dead."
07:14 Number 3 - The Karate Dog
07:18 "Whoa, hold the phone. You don't still think you're coming inside with me, do you?"
07:21 "But you're the computer nerd, I'm the people person."
07:23 "But you're not even people."
07:24 The director must have had some serious pull,
07:26 because this picture about a dog helping a detective solve a murder has some heavy hitters in its cast,
07:31 including Chevy Chase as Cho-Cho.
07:33 Even for fans of the talking animal trope, the Karate Dog was way too out there.
07:37 "Oh, that's great."
07:38 "What?"
07:40 "Dog asks you to get on the case and nothing but some tootsie bats or eyelashes and zippity-doo-dah your dirty hair."
07:46 "Zip it, Fido."
07:48 While it had star power behind it, between the special effects and the poor writing,
07:52 it couldn't pull off its shtick well.
07:53 Everything about the flick came off as hilarious, from the fight scenes to emotional moments.
07:58 Although we have a feeling that's not the reaction they were going for,
08:01 it didn't have the same charm as other films like it, such as Air Bud,
08:04 which ultimately led to its downfall.
08:06 "Cats are lazy, unmotivated slobs, black holes of selfishness,
08:10 sucking dry the kind hearts of their masters."
08:12 "They're useless. Did you ever hear of a seeing eye cat?"
08:15 Number 2 - The Birds 2 - Land's End
08:18 "You see, Ted, for us, this is the edge of the earth. Land's End, they call it."
08:26 You know a film is bad when you see the pseudonym Alan Smithia as director,
08:30 a sure sign that the director doesn't want to be associated with it.
08:33 A sequel to Hitchcock's The Birds was unnecessary,
08:36 and the fact that it was released decades after the original adds insult to injury.
08:40 "They're hurt."
08:41 "Don't tell me. They've tangled with some birds."
08:45 The sequel paled in comparison in every aspect,
08:48 from the subpar plot to the cheesy bird effects.
08:50 The acting was also nowhere near on the same level,
08:53 with fans and critics agreeing that their fear seemed inauthentic.
08:56 However, the most disappointing aspect is that they brought Tippi Hendren back
09:00 just to give her a small cameo.
09:02 Considering her role in the first installment,
09:04 this small inclusion felt downright disrespectful.
09:06 "Sorry about your friend."
09:07 "Oh, thanks.
09:12 It's just so awful that your little girls had to be the ones to find him."
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09:30 Number 1. They Saved Hitler's Brain
09:41 Okay, we're cheating a little here,
09:43 as this was originally released into theaters as a shorter film called "Madman of Manderas",
09:47 but it was reconceived as a TV movie with additional plot and footage added,
09:51 so we're counting it.
09:52 Yes, it is all about Nazis saving Hitler's head after his death,
09:56 so that he can one day lead again.
09:58 "No good deal of manipulation and help.
10:00 My brother Theo had free access to the inner sanctum of Hitler's bunker.
10:05 He was a laboratory technician."
10:07 As if the premise isn't cringe-inducing enough,
10:10 the execution made it even worse.
10:12 They Saved Hitler's Brain is still considered one of the worst movies ever made.
10:15 However, that has also saved it from fading away into obscurity.
10:18 It's been referenced in parody across different forms of media, from TV to music.
10:23 That's one way to leave a mark.
10:24 "No soldiers, huh?
10:25 We have the grenades.
10:28 Against soldiers, they are old-fashioned but effective."
10:31 Which made-for-TV movie do you think is the cringiest?
10:34 Let us know in the comments below.
10:36 "Frelick, aren't you dead?"
10:39 Did you enjoy this video?
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10:47 [Music]