The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause is a 2006 American Christmas comedy film directed by Michael Lembeck. It is the third installment in The Santa Clause franchise, following The Santa Clause (1994) and The Santa Clause 2 (2002). The film features Tim Allen returning as Scott Calvin, who must find a way to reverse a spell cast by Jack Frost (Martin Short) that caused him to lose his title of Santa Claus. Allen and Short had previously worked together in the 1997 Disney comedy film, Jungle 2 Jungle. Most of the supporting actors from the first two films reprise their roles, with the exception of David Krumholtz. As a result of his absence, Curtis (played by Spencer Breslin), who was previously the Assistant Head Elf, has now been promoted to Bernard's former position. This was Peter Boyle's final film to be released during his lifetime (2008's All Roads Lead Home was released posthumously). Its production was completed in February 2006.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 (gentle music)
00:00:02 (gentle music)
00:00:05 (gentle music)
00:00:07 (gentle music)
00:00:10 (laughing)
00:00:26 (gentle music)
00:00:29 (laughing)
00:00:32 (gentle music)
00:00:35 (gentle music)
00:00:38 (gentle music)
00:00:41 - All right, class.
00:01:07 If a reindeer leaves Ellsberg flying west
00:01:09 at 20 miles per hour,
00:01:10 and another reindeer flies east,
00:01:12 traveling at 50 miles per hour,
00:01:14 how many hours does it take for them to be 210 miles apart?
00:01:18 Anyone?
00:01:21 Anyone?
00:01:24 Trish.
00:01:28 - How come we can't learn the things that we wanna learn?
00:01:31 - Like what?
00:01:32 - Like, wasn't it weird when you married Santa
00:01:35 and you had to move all the way up to the pool
00:01:36 and give up your old lady, Mrs. Claus?
00:01:39 - Weirder than you can possibly imagine.
00:01:41 But then something so gigantic happened
00:01:44 that it changed Santa and me forever.
00:01:47 - Like what?
00:01:48 - Okay.
00:01:52 (screaming)
00:01:53 - Baby Claus is on the way!
00:01:54 Ladies, keep up!
00:01:55 We need hot water and a lot of ointment.
00:01:57 You, take sugar fluffs.
00:01:59 Do not panic, do not panic!
00:02:01 Curtis, the baby's coming!
00:02:02 - Coco, the baby's coming!
00:02:04 - Mrs. Claus, the baby's coming!
00:02:06 - I know!
00:02:06 - Keep breathing, keep breathing.
00:02:18 - That's gonna leave a mark.
00:02:20 - Push!
00:02:34 (screaming)
00:02:36 - Oh, oh, oh, Scott.
00:02:43 - Everything's gonna be all right, honey.
00:02:44 Everything is gonna be all right.
00:02:45 Where's Dr. Hissler?
00:02:46 - Oh, oh, Scott.
00:02:48 - I'm right here, babe, I'm right here.
00:02:50 It's all right, Mrs. Claus.
00:02:51 - Honey, I'm afraid it was a false alarm.
00:02:53 (gasping)
00:02:55 - I stopped a pedicure for this?
00:03:02 ♪ Jingle bells on bob tails ring ♪
00:03:04 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪
00:03:05 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing a swaying song tonight ♪
00:03:09 ♪ Oh, jingle bells, jingle, jingle bells ♪
00:03:13 Scott, Scott, come here.
00:03:15 Just for a second, come here.
00:03:17 Scott, come here.
00:03:19 Come here, come here, come here.
00:03:20 - Okay.
00:03:21 ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
00:03:25 - Ready?
00:03:25 Wait for the kick.
00:03:26 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
00:03:29 Jingle all the way.
00:03:31 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪
00:03:34 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪
00:03:37 - Not amazing timing.
00:03:39 I wish that the baby had come this afternoon
00:03:41 or last week like we thought.
00:03:43 I'm going crazy.
00:03:44 I mean, I'm really going crazy.
00:03:45 - You need a diversion.
00:03:49 - No, no, Scott.
00:03:50 No more gifts.
00:03:51 You already gave me a birthstone necklace
00:03:53 of a Mr. Cheese Wheel.
00:03:54 - Well, this is not for you.
00:03:56 This is for the baby.
00:03:57 I'll be back in a jiff.
00:03:58 - Oh, wow.
00:04:01 (growling)
00:04:05 (laughing)
00:04:08 - That never gets old.
00:04:09 Okay, now what do we have in the bag for a baby?
00:04:13 Oddly enough, we have a baby bag.
00:04:17 Inside that baby bag,
00:04:18 we have...
00:04:20 - Oh.
00:04:23 Oh, Scott!
00:04:26 Oh, honey, it's beautiful.
00:04:28 The baby's gonna love it.
00:04:30 - Yeah, it spins around like this.
00:04:32 (knocking)
00:04:34 - Later.
00:04:35 Come on in.
00:04:36 - Hey, Doc.
00:04:38 - Oh, Dr. Hissmiss, I'm so glad you could come.
00:04:40 - How are you today, Mrs. Claus?
00:04:42 - I'm a little concerned because the baby hasn't come yet.
00:04:45 - No need to worry, Mrs. Claus.
00:04:46 - Santa, the production line has been set back
00:04:48 so far behind that,
00:04:49 we need you on the workshop floor immediately.
00:04:51 - Oh, I can't come down now.
00:04:52 It's impossible.
00:04:53 I'm still mapping out the slay route.
00:04:55 Got plenty of work to do up here.
00:04:57 - Have you even checked this list once?
00:04:59 - I have perused it.
00:05:00 - Help me help you help me help you.
00:05:03 - Stop your blood pressure, okay?
00:05:05 - Help me help you help you help you help me.
00:05:08 Help me help you.
00:05:09 - Don't be nervous, don't be nervous.
00:05:11 It'll be done before you know it, okay?
00:05:12 - Help you help me help me help you.
00:05:14 Help me help you.
00:05:16 There's one more thing.
00:05:20 The council of voicandary figures
00:05:21 have called an emergency meeting.
00:05:22 - They can't leave the North Pole
00:05:23 and go to a council meeting tonight.
00:05:25 - They know that.
00:05:26 That's why they came here.
00:05:27 - Here?
00:05:28 - Here. - Where?
00:05:29 - In the kitchen. - In the kitchen?
00:05:30 - Is there an echo in here?
00:05:30 - Okay, okay.
00:05:32 - You know what, sweetheart?
00:05:33 I'm feeling so much better.
00:05:35 (whimpering)
00:05:35 - Get down.
00:05:36 - I think that I'm going to go on a walk,
00:05:38 which is great for the baby.
00:05:39 - Wait, wait, wait.
00:05:40 - You stay here and have your blood pressure taken,
00:05:44 which is great.
00:05:45 And I'm gonna go see what's down the hall.
00:05:47 (whimpering)
00:05:50 Hi, ladies.
00:05:56 - Honey.
00:05:59 Honey.
00:06:02 (dramatic music)
00:06:04 - Carol.
00:06:05 - Anything I can do for you, ma'am?
00:06:07 - No, thanks.
00:06:08 - Care for some company, Mrs. Claus?
00:06:12 - Not from you, Mr. Claus.
00:06:13 - Why not?
00:06:14 - Because you can't spend time with me
00:06:15 and get the toys ready,
00:06:16 and I understand completely.
00:06:18 - You do?
00:06:19 - Of course I do.
00:06:19 I just hope you're not delivering when I'm delivering.
00:06:24 - I'm not gonna let that happen.
00:06:27 - Carol, there's no way I could...
00:06:30 Nice chrome work, Lenny.
00:06:31 That is so working.
00:06:33 - Thanks, Santa.
00:06:34 - Yeah, baby, yeah, all right.
00:06:36 Look, I know this is all a bit overwhelming to you,
00:06:41 but wait a minute, stop.
00:06:43 Wait, did you see this?
00:06:44 Amazing technology.
00:06:46 Look at this.
00:06:47 It's a duck.
00:06:48 It quacks in three languages.
00:06:49 (speaking in foreign language)
00:06:54 - Things can't help me right now, sweetheart.
00:06:56 (speaking in foreign language)
00:06:58 It's people that I need.
00:07:00 You know, family.
00:07:02 - Oh, family.
00:07:04 We are your family, right, elves?
00:07:06 We're her family, right?
00:07:07 - We love you, Mr. Claus.
00:07:09 - Taller family.
00:07:13 - Human family.
00:07:20 - Oh, sweetheart, anything but the tears.
00:07:23 - I'm sorry.
00:07:24 - It's okay.
00:07:24 - Thank you.
00:07:25 It's an impossible situation.
00:07:29 If I didn't want to be with you so much,
00:07:31 I would go home, but I can't have it both ways.
00:07:33 I guess I'll just...
00:07:36 - Wait a minute.
00:07:40 Maybe you can.
00:07:44 - I can't what?
00:07:45 - Have it both ways.
00:07:47 - How?
00:07:48 - I can bring home here.
00:07:49 - You can't.
00:07:50 - You can.
00:07:51 - Carol, I'm gonna bring your parents up here.
00:07:53 - My parents?
00:07:54 - For parents.
00:07:55 - Elves.
00:07:57 - Sir, the SOS.
00:07:59 - Excuse me?
00:08:00 - SOS, secret of Santa?
00:08:03 There could be dire consequences.
00:08:05 The possibilities increase exponentially
00:08:07 that the closely guarded secret
00:08:08 of the North Pole's true location could be compromised
00:08:10 and Christmas, as we know it, would cease to exist,
00:08:13 crushing the hopes and dreams of the world's children
00:08:16 and extinguishing the joy of Santa's magic forever!
00:08:18 - There's that.
00:08:22 - He has a point.
00:08:24 My parents can't keep a secret.
00:08:25 - Listen, listen, honey.
00:08:27 The reason you came up here was because of me.
00:08:29 I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make this right.
00:08:32 - You will?
00:08:32 - Yeah.
00:08:34 Yes, yeah, I will.
00:08:36 You know why?
00:08:37 'Cause what do they say about Santa?
00:08:39 - He delivers!
00:08:40 - Yes!
00:08:42 - How are you gonna pull it off?
00:08:44 My parents think you're a toy maker in Canada.
00:08:46 - How am I gonna pull this off?
00:08:49 (laughing)
00:08:56 - The answer is in the question.
00:08:59 How are we going to do this?
00:09:00 My dad thinks you're a toy maker in Canada.
00:09:04 - Canada?
00:09:05 - Canada!
00:09:06 It's North, in North America, eh?
00:09:09 Vinegar on their french fries,
00:09:11 they sit on the Chesterfield, watch the hockey game,
00:09:13 shoot the puck, daddy-o!
00:09:15 Come on, everybody!
00:09:16 Help, everybody listen up!
00:09:18 Grab your hammers, the in-laws are coming!
00:09:21 (dramatic music)
00:09:24 (dramatic music)
00:09:26 (dramatic music)
00:09:29 - Hey Robbie!
00:09:55 (laughing)
00:09:56 - Mary Jo, let me see your teeth.
00:09:57 That's good.
00:09:59 Hiya, elves!
00:10:00 - Hi, Chief Barry!
00:10:01 - Come here, let me see.
00:10:02 (cow mooing)
00:10:03 Beautiful teeth.
00:10:05 (dramatic music)
00:10:07 - Open the doors if you wanna fall in love!
00:10:12 Hey, everybody, look, Cupid in the house!
00:10:15 Oh, work, work, work, that's nice to see!
00:10:17 - Hi, Chief B!
00:10:18 - What'd I miss?
00:10:20 Where's Fat Boy?
00:10:21 (laughing)
00:10:22 - Hey, Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:10:23 Cupid, what's up?
00:10:24 - A-E-B.
00:10:25 - Santa?
00:10:26 - Molan, Dater. - Santa?
00:10:27 - Um, hey, man.
00:10:30 By the nature of our time, Merry Christmas again.
00:10:32 Good to see everyone here.
00:10:34 But do you really think it's necessary
00:10:36 to call an emergency council meeting?
00:10:37 I'm ready to ride the sleigh, you know what I mean?
00:10:40 - Santa, we thought we should see this.
00:10:43 - Silver bells!
00:10:45 - I found 270 of them at shopping malls
00:10:47 scattered across the Northwest.
00:10:49 I hereby call this special session
00:10:51 of the Council of Legendary Figures to order.
00:10:53 - This is ridiculous.
00:10:55 - Santa!
00:10:56 - I'm up, I'm up!
00:10:57 Hey, Cupid, nice skirt.
00:10:59 (laughing)
00:11:01 - Easter bunny.
00:11:02 Our first and only order of business
00:11:07 is the disciplinary action to be taken
00:11:09 against Council Member Jack Frost.
00:11:11 - Now that's what I'm talking about.
00:11:13 - You love it, am I right?
00:11:18 You guys finally woke up and are giving me my own holiday.
00:11:23 - Frostmas, of course, it's just a placeholder.
00:11:26 I'm wide open.
00:11:27 Frostgiving, the Frost of July, Frost Dog Day,
00:11:30 I mean the possibilities are endless.
00:11:31 - Jack, you are hereby charged with 273 counts
00:11:35 of attempted upstaging of Santa Claus.
00:11:38 You froze a volcano in Hawaii,
00:11:40 you made it snow in the Amazon,
00:11:42 and you frosted Mexico,
00:11:43 sending all of the geese north for the winter.
00:11:46 You have violated the Legendary Figures Code of Conduct
00:11:48 in a manner that is both willful and malicious.
00:11:51 - Excuse me, did you just accuse me
00:11:53 of being skillful and delicious?
00:11:54 - Oh, please.
00:11:55 - Guilty as charged.
00:11:56 - Frost, you herald the season, you're not a holiday.
00:12:00 - You're the best friend, you're not the leading man.
00:12:02 - And you kill fruit.
00:12:04 - All in favor of suspending Jack Frost
00:12:06 from the Legendary Council, please say--
00:12:09 - Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:12:10 - Father Time, wait a minute.
00:12:11 You gotta understand, I have enormous untapped potential,
00:12:16 but all I am, year after year, is an opening act.
00:12:19 I set it man to Mr. Big.
00:12:20 - Jack, why don't you let that go?
00:12:22 - No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:12:23 - You let it go, listen to me.
00:12:24 - We have the same conversation, don't we?
00:12:24 - You get the soda cans, and you get the TV specials,
00:12:27 and you get the postage stamps, and the billboards,
00:12:29 and the beautiful adoring wife,
00:12:30 and the army of toy-building yes-men.
00:12:33 What do I get?
00:12:34 A few runny noses and some dead citrus.
00:12:37 - You know, Jack, it's no picnic being me.
00:12:40 Because of our production problems,
00:12:41 an entire continent might go without toys this year.
00:12:43 That's right.
00:12:44 And on top of that, I've gotta protect
00:12:45 the secret of Santa this year, because of the in-laws.
00:12:48 - Oh boy, the in-laws.
00:12:49 Mr. and Mrs. in bad mood every time I turn around.
00:12:51 They're coming up to the North Pole,
00:12:52 and they're not supposed to be in the North Pole,
00:12:53 so I gotta come up with some solution for that.
00:12:55 And then on top of that, I'm a tad bit worried
00:12:57 about being a father again,
00:12:58 because I wasn't all that good at it the first time.
00:13:01 - Oh, Santa.
00:13:04 We had no idea.
00:13:06 - Oh, Santa, I'm sorry.
00:13:08 - You know, if it were me in a red suit,
00:13:10 I'd probably go right to the escape clause.
00:13:12 - Oh no, the escape clause.
00:13:13 Way too extreme, really.
00:13:15 - Escape clause?
00:13:17 What's up with that?
00:13:18 - Maybe if you'd attend a meeting once in a while,
00:13:20 you'd know.
00:13:21 - You can manipulate time, but you can't grow hair.
00:13:23 - Huh?
00:13:24 - Mm-mm.
00:13:25 - Legendary?
00:13:26 - I don't think so.
00:13:28 - Uh-uh.
00:13:28 - Look, look, I'm not evoking the escape clause.
00:13:31 I made a commitment.
00:13:32 I'll handle the toys, and I'll be there
00:13:34 when my wife delivers that baby.
00:13:36 - Let me help.
00:13:37 - You've done quite enough.
00:13:38 - No, no, no.
00:13:39 Instead of a suspension, how about community service, Santa?
00:13:42 - Oh, no.
00:13:43 - What if I, what if I, what if I tutor myself
00:13:46 at the elbow of the master?
00:13:48 Huh, you know, I could lend a hand,
00:13:50 make some toys, wrap a few presents.
00:13:52 And if I don't make it with the hefty man here,
00:13:55 then he says a word and you suspend me.
00:13:57 Please, Santa.
00:13:59 I know I don't deserve another chance,
00:14:02 but I am asking you for one.
00:14:03 I wanna make things right.
00:14:16 All right.
00:14:16 You don't wanna get suspended?
00:14:19 I'll give you one more chance.
00:14:21 But you have to be a Jack Frost of all trades.
00:14:23 - Yes.
00:14:24 - You also have to listen to the elves.
00:14:26 Curtis is your boss.
00:14:27 - Yes.
00:14:28 - And I mean it.
00:14:29 If there's one, one icicle out of place, you are gone.
00:14:33 I will not let you down.
00:14:34 - Motion carried.
00:14:39 (dramatic music)
00:14:42 (elves laughing)
00:14:44 - Boys, boys, save it for the stables, will ya?
00:14:55 Look down there, they got a new roof.
00:14:58 Easy, easy!
00:14:59 - Uncle Scott is here!
00:15:02 - Lucy, coat.
00:15:04 (farting)
00:15:08 (laughing)
00:15:09 - Comet, next time we fly, go easy on the alfalfa.
00:15:13 (farting)
00:15:13 (laughing)
00:15:15 - Uncle Scott!
00:15:16 - Hey, Luce.
00:15:17 There we are.
00:15:17 There it is.
00:15:20 - All warm?
00:15:20 - Just like magic.
00:15:22 You have the warmest hug in the world.
00:15:24 (farting)
00:15:25 - Follow!
00:15:26 - Hi, Comet!
00:15:27 (laughing)
00:15:27 - Hey, son.
00:15:28 - I missed you so much.
00:15:30 (farting)
00:15:32 - A few days early, aren't you?
00:15:34 Isn't that baby due any moment?
00:15:36 - No, we've got lots to talk about.
00:15:37 Hey, Neil.
00:15:39 That's a good looking sweater vest.
00:15:42 - It's reversible.
00:15:43 - Well, of course it is.
00:15:44 All right, let's go inside.
00:15:46 - Lucy, Lucy, come on.
00:15:47 - Oh, ow!
00:15:48 - Oh, oh, oh.
00:15:51 (farting)
00:15:52 (laughing)
00:15:53 - Look at that, it's snowing in Hawaii.
00:15:55 - Yeah, it's not really magical like the one Charlie has,
00:15:58 but I love it.
00:16:00 And now I have 12, see?
00:16:02 - You know, I have quite the snow globe collection myself.
00:16:07 - Cool.
00:16:08 - Son, how's Danielle doing?
00:16:11 - Good.
00:16:12 Thanks for letting me go snowboarding
00:16:13 with her and her parents for Christmas.
00:16:14 - You're welcome.
00:16:15 - Hey, I brought you something.
00:16:18 - Just a little thing.
00:16:19 - Oh, boy.
00:16:21 What a mess in here.
00:16:22 (playful music)
00:16:26 - Jesus.
00:16:30 - Oh, boy.
00:16:31 (playful music)
00:16:35 - Woo!
00:16:35 - Wedge behind a wheelbarrow.
00:16:38 - Dad, that's awesome.
00:16:40 - Thank goodness it wasn't a car.
00:16:41 - Thanks, Dad.
00:16:43 Wow, this is beautiful.
00:16:45 Lucy, sweetheart, what are you doing?
00:16:47 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:16:48 Come on, come on.
00:16:50 Come here, come here, come here, come here.
00:16:51 Get out of the bag there.
00:16:52 - Why can't I fit inside?
00:16:54 - Well, it takes a lot of practice.
00:16:55 - I wish I could come to the North Pole with you.
00:16:58 I could help Carol a lot, and she loves me.
00:17:01 - That's true.
00:17:02 - And hey, maybe I should be the one there for Carol.
00:17:07 You know, I mean, another mom.
00:17:09 I could help.
00:17:11 Hey, maybe--
00:17:13 - Girls, I've got a full sleigh.
00:17:15 You understand my situation.
00:17:17 - Now, wait a minute, Scott.
00:17:18 Let's pause a moment here and take a feelings inventory.
00:17:24 (playful music)
00:17:27 Let's look at what you're doing as an uncle
00:17:31 from a therapeutic standpoint.
00:17:33 Charlie's been to the Pole.
00:17:36 Your new baby's being born at the Pole.
00:17:38 Lucy's a member of this family too, Scott.
00:17:41 And if you harshly exclude her
00:17:43 from this formative experience,
00:17:45 you could scar her for life.
00:17:47 And consequently, her parents,
00:17:50 who must accompany her on long-distance journeys.
00:17:53 - Please, Uncle Scott, can I come to the North Pole too?
00:18:00 (gentle music)
00:18:03 Please?
00:18:08 (dramatic music)
00:18:15 (dramatic music)
00:18:18 (dramatic music)
00:18:48 - Oh, that's awfully good, isn't it?
00:18:51 Guys, I've got it.
00:18:54 (crashing)
00:18:58 What have you done?
00:19:02 Is it going to clean itself up?
00:19:05 I don't think so.
00:19:06 Quickly, quickly.
00:19:08 Curtis, I haven't seen the bearded wonder around for a while.
00:19:14 Where'd he go?
00:19:15 - None of your skis waxed.
00:19:17 - No need to be nippy.
00:19:19 With all the stress up here,
00:19:20 I wouldn't blame the big guy
00:19:21 for doing that escape hatch thing.
00:19:23 - Escape clause.
00:19:24 - Right.
00:19:24 Little elf woman, one cocoa, por favor.
00:19:27 - Right away. - Thank you.
00:19:28 How does that escape clause work, anyway?
00:19:31 - Sorry, classified.
00:19:33 Elfland Security Act.
00:19:34 - That's just what I'd say.
00:19:36 - What?
00:19:37 - If I didn't know anything.
00:19:39 - Don't be embarrassed.
00:19:42 Makes perfect sense.
00:19:43 Only the big guy would really know the important stuff.
00:19:45 - For your information, I'm now elf number one.
00:19:47 - Ooh.
00:19:48 - And I know all there is to know
00:19:49 about the Hall of Snow Globes.
00:19:50 - Well, everybody knows about the Hall of Snow Globes.
00:19:52 That's not special.
00:19:53 - Not special.
00:19:57 Not special.
00:20:00 It's the most top secret, hush, hush,
00:20:02 amazing place in the world.
00:20:04 It's where every Santa throughout history
00:20:06 has kept his own personal snow globe.
00:20:09 How can you say that that's not special?
00:20:11 - Because it isn't.
00:20:13 Unless you know what it has to do with the escape clause,
00:20:15 which clearly you don't.
00:20:16 - I bet Santa doesn't even trust you.
00:20:20 No.
00:20:23 You listen here, Frost Face.
00:20:25 Secret Santa snow globe.
00:20:28 Santa.
00:20:29 I wish that I'd never become Santa at all.
00:20:35 - Wait, wait, wait, what's this?
00:20:42 - This is the part where I'm transported through time
00:20:45 and everything goes back to the way it was,
00:20:47 like I'd never become Santa at all.
00:20:50 - Gets the snow globe, puts his hands on it,
00:20:56 says the words, and then whoosh, job opening Santa Claus.
00:21:01 - Told you I knew everything.
00:21:03 - Wow.
00:21:05 I never dreamed I'd be so well connected
00:21:07 to elves in high places.
00:21:10 We really must party in my condo at Kestad sometime.
00:21:13 It'd be fun.
00:21:14 Tell me, how do you get into the Hall of Snow Globes anyway?
00:21:19 - Sorry, Jack.
00:21:20 Now that's classified.
00:21:22 - I know that.
00:21:23 Elf number one.
00:21:25 Woo!
00:21:39 - You should bring the deep dreaming stuff.
00:21:41 - Got it.
00:21:42 - Okay, 'cause it's real important that they fall asleep
00:21:44 and they dream they're on a wonderful flight to Canada.
00:21:47 - I'm with the program.
00:21:48 - Good.
00:21:49 - I may be sleepy, but I'm not stupid.
00:21:50 - Yeah, I don't wanna take the hat off.
00:21:54 - I get sniffly with Elf Mike Cap.
00:21:56 Okay, okay.
00:21:57 - All right, all right.
00:22:00 (clears throat)
00:22:01 Hey, Dad.
00:22:02 - Ha ha, Scott Calvin, as I live and breathe.
00:22:05 Good thing you called, otherwise I don't know
00:22:08 if I would've remembered you.
00:22:09 - That's me, good old Scott Calvin.
00:22:12 - You're looking a little like Father Time there.
00:22:15 - Doesn't look anything like Father Time.
00:22:17 - Hee hee hee hee.
00:22:19 - That's a nice door.
00:22:25 - Well, thank you.
00:22:26 Yeah, it was a little sticky,
00:22:27 but smooth as a baby's butt now.
00:22:29 Come, take a feel.
00:22:30 - Oh, why not, huh?
00:22:32 Look at that.
00:22:32 Very butt-like.
00:22:35 - Who's your pal?
00:22:37 - Sandy.
00:22:39 This is my associate.
00:22:39 He'll be taking us to the airport.
00:22:41 - An associate, whoa, whoa.
00:22:42 Business must be very good.
00:22:43 - Busy as usual.
00:22:44 - So busy you can't bring our daughter now
00:22:46 to visit our mother and father once in a while?
00:22:49 - Scott.
00:22:50 Oh, so nice to see you.
00:22:53 - You too, Sylvia.
00:22:54 - And your friend.
00:22:56 - Sandy.
00:22:57 - Sandy, nice to meet you.
00:22:59 Do you know how excited we were to get your phone call?
00:23:03 See, we get so few, and each one is special.
00:23:07 Oh, come on, you guys.
00:23:08 You'll catch pneumonia out here.
00:23:10 Come on.
00:23:11 It's so wonderful to have you all here.
00:23:14 - Festive.
00:23:15 - Please, please sit down.
00:23:18 - Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:23:19 We gotta get to the airport.
00:23:20 Kind of a hurry, so I suggest you just get your bags
00:23:22 and hop in the car.
00:23:23 - Well, I'm almost packed.
00:23:24 - Great.
00:23:25 - Just throw some of my underwear in the bag.
00:23:27 It's not like we're going to the North Pole.
00:23:29 (laughing)
00:23:31 - It's cold in Canada.
00:23:32 - Well.
00:23:33 - Remember when we went to Yosemite?
00:23:34 - Oh, here we go, Yosemite again.
00:23:36 - It was freezing, and there were bears.
00:23:39 - How would you know?
00:23:40 You never left the lodge.
00:23:41 - I didn't leave the lodge, because it was freezing.
00:23:43 - And there were bears?
00:23:44 - Yes, and it was freezing.
00:23:46 - And it was freezing weather?
00:23:48 - Yes, it was in the freezing weather.
00:23:50 - Let me see if I understand this.
00:23:51 You did not enjoy the trip to Yosemite?
00:23:53 - You heard me.
00:23:54 - Yeah, I heard you.
00:23:55 (sneezing)
00:23:56 (dramatic music)
00:23:59 (dramatic music)
00:24:02 (snoring)
00:24:09 - What?
00:24:12 - What part of our plan was not clear?
00:24:14 Let's put them to sleep when they get into the car.
00:24:17 - I just couldn't stand to hear
00:24:19 the Yosemite story anymore.
00:24:21 - Okay, so let's figure out how we're getting in the car.
00:24:23 We'll both, Sam, what are you doing?
00:24:29 What?
00:24:30 Sandman?
00:24:30 Sandman?
00:24:31 Oh great, now I get to throw his underwear in a bag.
00:24:36 (snoring)
00:24:38 ♪ I'm dreaming ♪
00:24:47 ♪ Of a white Christmas ♪
00:24:54 ♪ Just like the ones I used to know ♪
00:24:59 ♪ Where the tree ♪
00:25:03 - Hey, Mrs. C, what you doing?
00:25:05 - Oh, hi.
00:25:07 Jack, I'm just trying to pick out a tree
00:25:09 the whole family will love.
00:25:10 - Ah, family.
00:25:12 You know, I cannot imagine how hard it must be
00:25:16 keeping such a big secret from your folks.
00:25:19 - Oh, you have no idea.
00:25:24 - Tell me, Mrs. Claus, being legendary by marriage,
00:25:28 do you ever find yourself wondering
00:25:30 if it's all really worth it?
00:25:32 - Oh, it's definitely worth it.
00:25:36 - Uh-huh.
00:25:37 I'm sure dropping your old life
00:25:40 and schlepping all the way up to the North Pole
00:25:42 has been totally worthwhile.
00:25:44 - Yeah.
00:25:45 - Probably not one iota, not even a scintilla of regret.
00:25:48 - Not one.
00:25:49 - Yeah.
00:25:50 Look at that, oh dear.
00:25:52 - A little sad and neglected, maybe.
00:25:54 Just needs a little tender, loving care
00:25:56 that nobody's bothering to give, don't you think?
00:25:59 - It's perfect.
00:26:04 I will give you all the TLC that you need.
00:26:08 You know, Scott loves decorating the tree with me.
00:26:10 He always insists on putting the tree topper on himself.
00:26:13 Oh, they're here.
00:26:19 (gasps)
00:26:22 So exciting.
00:26:23 ♪ Well Santa's got a hot ride ♪
00:26:28 ♪ Santa's got a hot ride ♪
00:26:30 ♪ Santa's got a hot ride ♪
00:26:32 ♪ Santa's got a hot ride ♪
00:26:34 ♪ It's the only way ♪
00:26:35 ♪ He can rock and roll that old Christmas sleigh ♪
00:26:40 ♪ And all the things to Rudolph ♪
00:26:44 ♪ Down to Blitzen ♪
00:26:45 ♪ You know, and all the rest of those reindeer clots ♪
00:26:47 - I hear a new sign, actually, here.
00:26:51 (laughs)
00:26:52 - What a wonderful surprise.
00:26:53 I didn't know you were coming.
00:26:54 - Uncle Scott brought me.
00:26:56 - Hey.
00:26:57 - And we tagged along.
00:26:58 (laughs)
00:26:59 - Hey, hey, hi.
00:27:01 Oh, it's tall people.
00:27:03 Not that you're not tall.
00:27:04 - Surprise.
00:27:05 (cheers)
00:27:07 - Oh, you look wonderful.
00:27:09 - Really?
00:27:09 - You are glowing.
00:27:11 - What did you think of my parents?
00:27:12 - You know, they slept the entire trip.
00:27:14 - This is amazing.
00:27:16 Can we see the workshop?
00:27:17 - Yes, yes, go right there, go ahead.
00:27:18 - It's over there, yes.
00:27:19 - Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:27:21 You guys know that my mom and dad can't know
00:27:23 that we're at Santa's workshop at the North Pole, right?
00:27:25 - Well, where do they think we are?
00:27:26 - Welcome to Canada.
00:27:28 (upbeat music)
00:27:29 - Hey.
00:27:30 - Wow, that was an easy flight.
00:27:33 We cruised right through customs.
00:27:35 Oh, what a strange flight.
00:27:37 Go, go, go.
00:27:40 - It was like a dream.
00:27:42 And such a nice meal.
00:27:47 - They gave you a meal?
00:27:48 - I got four nuts in a pouch.
00:27:51 And you had us sit in coach.
00:27:53 - No, that was first class.
00:27:55 And I got a chance to sit next to Tony Bennett.
00:27:58 - Mom, dad.
00:27:59 (cheers)
00:28:02 - Look at you, look at you.
00:28:06 And look at this, look at this.
00:28:08 It could be twins.
00:28:10 But you know, since you married the toy maker,
00:28:12 we don't get a lot of information.
00:28:14 - Oh, honey, just stop it, okay?
00:28:16 - Sweetheart, I am just so happy to see you, darling.
00:28:20 - I'm so happy to see you too, Mom.
00:28:22 - And I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason
00:28:25 for shutting us out of your life.
00:28:27 (laughs)
00:28:29 (upbeat music)
00:28:32 - Magnificent.
00:28:42 - It's amazing.
00:28:46 - Killer.
00:28:46 - Now, please remember, you're welcome to observe,
00:28:55 but don't touch anything or otherwise interfere
00:28:57 with the toy making process.
00:28:58 - I'll make sure she doesn't get into anything.
00:29:00 - Look, could be the magic pants and accessories.
00:29:03 - Lucy, Lucy, come back here.
00:29:06 Whoa, trains.
00:29:09 - I'm just gonna go make a doll.
00:29:11 (laughs)
00:29:13 - Oh, excellent job.
00:29:20 Bang, bang.
00:29:21 (growls)
00:29:29 (laughs)
00:29:30 Isn't that fun?
00:29:31 Faster, Wickerhouse, faster.
00:29:39 In the hollow snow globes, perhaps?
00:29:42 Hmm, what might we have here?
00:29:58 That's a lot of beans.
00:30:02 How many beans can he eat?
00:30:05 Woo.
00:30:07 - Who are you?
00:30:09 - Who are you?
00:30:10 You don't particularly resemble one of the Red Man's minions.
00:30:13 What's the deal?
00:30:14 - I'm Lucy, Scott's my uncle.
00:30:16 - Oh, I'm Frost, Jack Frost.
00:30:21 - Who?
00:30:22 - Jack Frost, you know, the Jack Frost.
00:30:26 - Um, never heard of you.
00:30:28 - Jack Frost, legendary figure, ring of bells?
00:30:35 - No, but I know about Tooth Fairy and Sandman
00:30:38 and the Easter Bunny.
00:30:39 - Well, you gotta know about me.
00:30:41 I'm a legendary figure too,
00:30:42 with enormous power in my own right.
00:30:44 - Okay, okay, chill.
00:30:45 - I invented chill.
00:30:47 Sorry.
00:30:50 Harry, how would you like to be one of my elves?
00:30:54 - No.
00:30:57 Hey, Mom?
00:30:59 - No.
00:31:01 - What a quaint little village.
00:31:05 Everybody's just so petite.
00:31:08 - No, Tom Cruise is petite.
00:31:10 These people are short.
00:31:11 What's the deal with them?
00:31:13 - Well, what, um, oh, I...
00:31:17 - Have you ever been to Canada?
00:31:20 - No, it's too far.
00:31:22 We did go to Rochester, New York once, though,
00:31:24 to visit a sister.
00:31:25 - Very lovely place, but it's not Canada, is it?
00:31:29 - No.
00:31:30 Well, this is...
00:31:31 - This is what Canadians look like.
00:31:35 (birds chirping)
00:31:38 - Up, and stretch.
00:31:45 Stretch.
00:31:48 Let all those packages go.
00:31:52 Know that you're enough.
00:31:55 And breathe.
00:31:57 (inhales)
00:32:04 Very good.
00:32:05 Now, don't forget, you can do this on your own
00:32:08 whenever you get stressed out.
00:32:10 I won't always be here to help you.
00:32:12 Stress can reduce your life by hundreds of years.
00:32:17 Hundreds.
00:32:18 - You take Christmas very seriously.
00:32:20 - It's the most wonderful time of year.
00:32:22 - Yeah.
00:32:23 - Oh, honey, just because you're not into Christmas
00:32:26 doesn't mean others can't enjoy it.
00:32:28 - Well, the kids are not gonna enjoy their toys this year.
00:32:30 This stuff should have been in stores weeks ago, you know.
00:32:33 - Oh, no worries.
00:32:35 We have a unique distribution system up here.
00:32:36 - Well, in order to distribute this stuff,
00:32:39 you're gonna have to freeze time.
00:32:41 (laughs)
00:32:41 - Trust me, sir.
00:32:42 Manipulating the space-time continuum
00:32:44 for one-night global delivery is the easy part.
00:32:47 - Who are you?
00:32:49 - Curtis.
00:32:51 Eh?
00:32:54 - Who's hungry?
00:32:57 - Hey, guys.
00:32:59 How you doing?
00:33:00 Listen, come here.
00:33:01 Got some exciting news.
00:33:02 It's gonna put a little spring into your elf instead.
00:33:05 Santa says he really wants you to take a break.
00:33:09 So, there is a delicious vat of steaming hot cocoa
00:33:13 in the lounge with your little names on it.
00:33:16 (laughs)
00:33:18 Oh, it's a tantalizing blend of full, rich cocoa
00:33:24 with just a suggestion.
00:33:25 A vanilla.
00:33:30 Get in there and try some, won't you?
00:33:32 Got your names on it.
00:33:34 Enjoy!
00:33:35 (laughs)
00:33:37 (train whistle blows)
00:33:42 (train whistle blows)
00:33:46 (train whistle blows)
00:33:51 (train whistle blows)
00:33:54 (train whistle blows)
00:33:59 A fructuous blend of Gold Coast and Spanish Cocos,
00:34:03 sweet to the palate, but oh, so warm to the tummy,
00:34:06 with a trickle of cinnamon and orange essence,
00:34:09 enough to drive the taste buds mad.
00:34:12 (laughs)
00:34:14 It was...
00:34:14 (train whistle blows)
00:34:18 (train whistle blows)
00:34:22 (train whistle blows)
00:34:28 (train whistle blows)
00:34:32 - Look at this kitchen!
00:34:37 Oh!
00:34:39 - Look at the size of that oven.
00:34:40 You could cook a wooly mammoth in there.
00:34:42 (laughs)
00:34:43 Come on, now, let's have something to eat.
00:34:44 - Boy, you got some operation here.
00:34:46 You've been holding out on us.
00:34:48 Why are there secrets in here?
00:34:48 - Secrets?
00:34:49 There's no secrets.
00:34:50 I don't have any secrets.
00:34:51 Why would I have secrets with family?
00:34:52 There's no secrets.
00:34:53 - Oh, heaven's sakes, you must be the in-laws.
00:34:54 So very pleased to meet you.
00:34:55 Hi.
00:34:58 - Uh, Bud, Sylvia, this is--
00:35:00 - Jack Frost.
00:35:01 - No, not Jack Frost.
00:35:02 He's playing Jack Frost in our Yippie It's Canada parade.
00:35:05 - Oh, yes, of course.
00:35:07 To bring frosty cheer to the workers.
00:35:09 I'm kind of like the team mascot, eh?
00:35:12 (imitates car engine)
00:35:14 - Who does your hair?
00:35:16 - You like it?
00:35:16 It's, it's, it's, I freeze dry it.
00:35:18 Sir, can I borrow you for a moment?
00:35:21 - Yeah, excuse me, just a minute.
00:35:24 (sighs)
00:35:26 - We have a small paperwork problem.
00:35:32 - You go right ahead.
00:35:33 I'll make sure everyone's as happy as a lark.
00:35:35 For that's why I'm here, eh?
00:35:37 Cocochinos, anyone?
00:35:40 - What's going on?
00:35:42 What's going on?
00:35:43 - Wait a minute, sir, we're still trying to assess here.
00:35:45 (grunts)
00:35:48 - Somebody get me out of here.
00:35:49 - We've got a cascade failure in the motherboard.
00:35:51 - What?
00:35:52 - You've gotta get a rerouter
00:35:53 so you can need a solder gun and a--
00:35:54 - I'm stuck, I can't move!
00:35:55 - You need some scissors here.
00:35:57 (screeches)
00:35:58 I'm off to help electric.
00:36:00 (gasps)
00:36:02 (sighs)
00:36:09 (tires screeching)
00:36:14 Kitchen this size, I can't find a sandwich.
00:36:22 - Oh, let me help you there.
00:36:24 (screeches)
00:36:24 Oh, for heaven's--
00:36:25 How does something like that happen?
00:36:27 Oh dear.
00:36:28 Hey.
00:36:34 Cocochinos, anyone?
00:36:38 - Oh, yes.
00:36:39 - Oh, you're welcome.
00:36:43 Here, let me get this chair here.
00:36:45 There we go, isn't that lovely?
00:36:48 And here you go, I hope you like it.
00:36:50 - Oh, thanks.
00:36:51 - Well, it's my own recipe.
00:36:53 - It is.
00:36:54 Minty.
00:36:59 - Doesn't it make you feel fresh?
00:37:00 - Oh, yes, it does.
00:37:03 - Oh my, I just, I love your hair.
00:37:06 - You do?
00:37:08 - Yeah, I do.
00:37:09 - I love yours.
00:37:10 - Really?
00:37:12 - I've never seen anything like that.
00:37:14 - Oh, you're so adorable.
00:37:16 You divine little kitten, you.
00:37:18 (screeches)
00:37:20 - I bet you sing, too.
00:37:21 - No, no, no, no, no.
00:37:22 - Oh, I bet you can sing.
00:37:25 - Maybe, maybe.
00:37:26 - I knew it, I knew it.
00:37:27 Sing something for me.
00:37:29 - What would you like to hear?
00:37:30 - How about,
00:37:31 ♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ♪
00:37:37 ♪ Jack Frost nibbling at your nose ♪
00:37:41 - Oh, I love it.
00:37:43 ♪ Yuletide carols being sung ♪
00:37:47 - No, no, go back to the other line,
00:37:49 the part before.
00:37:50 ♪ Jack Frost nipping at your nose ♪
00:37:54 - Oh, it gives me chills.
00:37:57 ♪ Jack Frost nipping at your nose ♪
00:38:01 - Oh, what a lyric.
00:38:03 - What's going on over here?
00:38:04 - Your mother is fabulous.
00:38:06 (laughing)
00:38:09 - Would you like to be my elf?
00:38:11 - Huh?
00:38:12 - You heard me.
00:38:12 (thunder rumbling)
00:38:14 - Heads up, heads up, coming through.
00:38:17 Back off, back off.
00:38:19 Back off, back off.
00:38:20 We got a dangerous situation here.
00:38:24 Back off, back off.
00:38:26 Don't breathe, don't breathe it.
00:38:29 (dramatic music)
00:38:32 What's wrong with you people?
00:38:35 We're an inch away from Armageddon.
00:38:37 I'll get a mop.
00:38:38 - Oh, Dad, you did great.
00:38:40 - Are you all right?
00:38:41 - Mm-hmm.
00:38:41 - How'd it be done?
00:38:42 - That was wonderful.
00:38:43 - Bye everyone.
00:38:44 - Hey.
00:38:45 - Oh my.
00:38:46 - You're awake.
00:38:47 - Awake.
00:38:49 - Who are you?
00:38:50 - Oh, Mom and Dad, this is Scott's ex-wife, Laura,
00:38:53 and her husband, Neil.
00:38:54 - Hi.
00:38:55 - And their daughter, Lucy.
00:38:55 - Hi. - How are you?
00:38:56 - Hi.
00:38:57 (laughing)
00:38:58 - They came up here to join us for Christmas.
00:38:59 Isn't that nice?
00:39:00 - Yeah.
00:39:01 (laughing)
00:39:04 - If Scott is that close to his ex-wife
00:39:06 and you don't find that incredibly threatening,
00:39:09 I'm sure it's very nice.
00:39:12 - Hi everybody, I'm back.
00:39:14 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:39:18 - Hey, what happened?
00:39:19 - Oh, nothing except that you didn't tell your in-laws
00:39:21 that your ex-wife is spending Christmas with you.
00:39:23 - More secrets.
00:39:24 (glass shattering)
00:39:27 - Nothing works in this joint.
00:39:34 If you think this is something,
00:39:35 you should see the delivery room.
00:39:37 - The problem?
00:39:38 - I wanna see the delivery room.
00:39:40 - What?
00:39:41 - Heavy load coming through.
00:39:45 - Watch your backs, people, watch your backs.
00:39:47 - You better right back there.
00:39:48 - All right.
00:39:48 - This is the delivery room?
00:39:49 - This is the delivery room.
00:39:50 - This is not a delivery room, this is a disaster area.
00:39:53 What's going on here?
00:39:54 - Well, we're remodeling, you can see.
00:39:55 It's gonna be big, huge, comfortable.
00:39:57 - This is a broom closet.
00:39:58 How come the oven in the kitchen
00:39:59 is bigger than the delivery room?
00:40:00 - This isn't a broom closet, this is the--
00:40:02 - Watch your back again.
00:40:03 (gun firing)
00:40:04 - There we go.
00:40:05 This is a hospital for the entire toy factory.
00:40:07 - How about that, Sal?
00:40:08 Our grandchild is being born in the broom closet
00:40:11 of a Canadian toy factory.
00:40:12 Sweetheart, you can be honest with us, don't be afraid.
00:40:16 - Are you being held here against your will?
00:40:17 - Is there even a doctor here?
00:40:19 - Hello, everybody, I'm Dr. Christmas.
00:40:23 - Pleasure to meet you, eh?
00:40:24 - This is the doctor.
00:40:25 - Yes, very good doctor.
00:40:27 - Bye.
00:40:27 - Watch your backs, thank you, excuse me.
00:40:29 - Watch out, get your back again, we've got some more.
00:40:30 What are we supposed to do with the wood in here?
00:40:32 Why do we have the wood in here now?
00:40:33 - I'm taking over this project.
00:40:35 - No, no, no, don't be silly.
00:40:36 Just let the tiny Canadians do it.
00:40:38 - Somebody get me an apron and a hammer.
00:40:39 - Get him an apron and a hammer.
00:40:41 (screaming)
00:40:42 - What's happening?
00:40:43 - Emergency in the toy factory, emergency.
00:40:45 I'll be back in two minutes.
00:40:48 - Okay, let's go to work.
00:40:49 (dramatic music)
00:40:52 (people shouting)
00:40:55 - Look out, come in here, come in here.
00:40:59 I got it, I got it, I got it, let's get out.
00:41:01 Oh, boy, these bears, we gotta make some shops.
00:41:03 This is a great way to put out an eye.
00:41:05 Shut this thing down.
00:41:07 Hey, let it off, let it off, right there at the start.
00:41:10 Let it off.
00:41:11 (gun firing)
00:41:15 Where are the fire elves?
00:41:16 Elves, give me an aisle, come on.
00:41:19 Let the professionals at it.
00:41:20 - Stand low, hit the base with a flame.
00:41:22 (dramatic music)
00:41:25 - Sir, sir!
00:41:33 - Curtis, Curtis, stop.
00:41:36 If you're gonna tell me our entire facility's in ruin
00:41:38 and that Christmas is tomorrow
00:41:40 and for the first time in history,
00:41:41 all the kids of the world won't get what they asked for
00:41:43 because I failed, stop it.
00:41:46 I can't stand one more piece of bad news.
00:41:48 - Well, then, good news, sir.
00:41:50 - What?
00:41:50 - Your pants are on fire.
00:41:51 (dramatic music)
00:41:53 - Fire in the hole!
00:41:54 - Captain, I'm on it, Curtis!
00:41:57 (dramatic music)
00:42:00 - Oh, my, is there anything I can do?
00:42:08 - Yeah, why don't you put a chill on my bottom for me?
00:42:10 Come on.
00:42:12 All right, why don't you go up to the naughty and nice area
00:42:14 and help the elves clean it up.
00:42:15 Go, move, move, move, move!
00:42:16 - Quickly, quickly, move it!
00:42:18 Out of the barrow, stop!
00:42:19 - Okay, I need a status report.
00:42:20 - Springs on the pogo sticks melted, sir.
00:42:22 - Oh, let me see, let me see.
00:42:23 I like that toy.
00:42:24 Glenda, give me a status report.
00:42:26 - Lids on the ironing board burned up, sir.
00:42:28 - Oh, let me see.
00:42:29 - Only the wheels are left on the wooden truck, sir.
00:42:34 - Oh, that's my favorite.
00:42:35 - The rockets are in pieces,
00:42:39 but the launch motors are intact, sir.
00:42:40 - Launch motors intact?
00:42:42 Get over here.
00:42:42 I think I got an idea.
00:43:10 Jet-powered scooter board.
00:43:12 (crowd cheering)
00:43:13 - Way to go, Santa!
00:43:14 - Yay!
00:43:15 - That's how the men in red get things done.
00:43:19 All right, we got a schedule to keep.
00:43:20 Let's get back to work, everybody.
00:43:21 Get that conveyor up.
00:43:21 Let's get the bloody mess.
00:43:22 Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:43:24 - Oh, you're just amazing.
00:43:27 Can't keep a good Santa down, huh?
00:43:30 So, doesn't anything bother you?
00:43:35 - Yeah, you don't sweat the small stuff, Jack.
00:43:37 Problem at work, that's a challenge.
00:43:38 Problem at home,
00:43:40 that's a problem.
00:43:40 - Uncle Scott, Uncle Scott,
00:43:43 that was the most amazing thing
00:43:44 I've ever seen in the whole world!
00:43:46 (laughing)
00:43:47 - Oh, wait a minute.
00:43:49 You weren't worried, were you?
00:43:50 - Not for a second.
00:43:51 - Yeah, neither was I.
00:43:53 - Uncle Scott, you know what I've been dying to see?
00:43:56 - No.
00:43:57 - Your snow globe collection.
00:43:59 - You can see it, if you can catch it.
00:44:03 Watch out, coming through!
00:44:06 Last one up is a glazed ham!
00:44:08 (dramatic music)
00:44:11 Okay, now don't watch what I'm doing,
00:44:22 'cause this is a very secret code.
00:44:24 - Oh, come on, Uncle Scott.
00:44:26 - It is!
00:44:27 Very secret.
00:44:37 Now watch what happens.
00:44:39 (gasping)
00:44:39 Oh, look out, look out!
00:44:41 (laughing)
00:44:44 (sighing)
00:44:54 (dramatic music)
00:44:57 - Whoa.
00:45:13 Where are we?
00:45:16 - Well, I think I told you
00:45:17 I have a pretty amazing collection of snow globes.
00:45:20 This is the Hall of Snow Globes.
00:45:23 (dramatic music)
00:45:25 - This is so beautiful, Uncle Scott.
00:45:35 - These are all the snow globes
00:45:38 for all the Santas that have ever been.
00:45:40 - This one, that one's mine.
00:45:44 - It's my very favorite, just like you gave Charlie.
00:45:47 - Yeah, you know, I'm kind of partial to this one myself.
00:45:52 - It's snowing.
00:45:53 (laughing)
00:45:56 Yeah, you got a good collection.
00:45:59 Too bad you don't have one like this.
00:46:01 - It's, it's, it's me!
00:46:06 - Yeah.
00:46:06 - Hugging a snowman!
00:46:10 Oh, and he turns pink!
00:46:17 (laughing)
00:46:18 - I told you your warm hugs were magical.
00:46:21 - Thank you for my present, Santa.
00:46:22 - Oh, it's okay.
00:46:24 Well, look at it this way.
00:46:28 One down, 2.6 billion to go.
00:46:31 We better get out of here.
00:46:33 Hold on, here we go.
00:46:35 (door opening)
00:46:37 (dramatic music)
00:46:43 (door closing)
00:46:46 (laughing)
00:46:52 (dramatic music)
00:46:55 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪
00:47:11 ♪ With the kids jingle belling ♪
00:47:13 ♪ And everyone telling you be of good cheer ♪
00:47:17 - While I'm up here,
00:47:18 do you want me to put on the tree topper?
00:47:20 - Do you mind if we save it for Scott?
00:47:21 - He always puts the tree topper on.
00:47:24 - Of course.
00:47:24 - Hey!
00:47:25 ♪ It's the hap, happiest season of all ♪
00:47:29 - It's strange how much this resembles...
00:47:32 ♪ With those holiday greetings ♪
00:47:34 ♪ And gay happy meetings ♪
00:47:36 ♪ When friends come to talk ♪
00:47:37 - Hi, honey, I'm back.
00:47:39 - Oh, honey, are you okay?
00:47:40 - Great.
00:47:41 Good news is I get to spend time with you guys.
00:47:43 (laughing)
00:47:44 - Scott?
00:47:45 - Sir!
00:47:46 Sorry to interrupt.
00:47:48 There's something you need to check twice.
00:47:54 - Two minutes?
00:47:57 - What, what, what?
00:48:03 - Right there.
00:48:05 This is big.
00:48:06 - Okay.
00:48:07 Do we have a problem?
00:48:08 - Oh, we do.
00:48:09 - Readable.
00:48:10 - Readable because it's all crinkled up.
00:48:12 We gotta flatten it out.
00:48:13 It's gotta be in my office.
00:48:15 Yeah, in my office.
00:48:17 - Neil.
00:48:18 - What?
00:48:19 - Let's go find Lucy
00:48:20 and get her washed up for dinner, okay?
00:48:22 Leave that here.
00:48:23 Leave it.
00:48:25 We'll be right back.
00:48:26 Oh.
00:48:30 Don't worry, honey.
00:48:33 It's busy season.
00:48:37 - It's always his busy season.
00:48:40 (dramatic music)
00:48:43 - That's Uncle Scott's snow globe.
00:48:52 You're not supposed to have that.
00:48:55 - I know.
00:48:56 Isn't it great?
00:48:57 - It's not great at all.
00:48:58 You've done a terrible thing.
00:48:59 You'll be on the naughty list for the rest of your life.
00:49:02 - Ah, but naughty list people have more fun.
00:49:05 - I'm going for help.
00:49:06 - I wouldn't do that.
00:49:09 - Mom, Dad, over here, quick.
00:49:12 - Lucy.
00:49:13 - What?
00:49:13 Come on.
00:49:16 - What's wrong? - Hurry.
00:49:18 - What's wrong?
00:49:21 - Sweetheart, what is it?
00:49:23 - Huh?
00:49:24 - I told you not to do that.
00:49:27 - Jack Frost took Uncle Scott's snow globe
00:49:29 and he knows that it's not his.
00:49:32 (screaming)
00:49:34 Mom.
00:49:35 (dramatic music)
00:49:38 Mom.
00:49:39 Mom.
00:49:42 What did you do?
00:49:45 - I froze them.
00:49:46 Now, am I gonna have to do the same thing to you?
00:49:52 Or are you gonna get into that closet
00:49:54 and stay there without saying a word?
00:49:57 (gentle music)
00:50:02 - Smart girl.
00:50:03 Oh, smile, will you?
00:50:08 I've had kids beg me to freeze their parents.
00:50:12 And to think I asked you to be my elf.
00:50:17 - Yes, Curtis, of course all those bears
00:50:21 are machine washable.
00:50:23 Right, just put it on the card.
00:50:24 Look, I can't be in two places at once.
00:50:26 I'm gonna have to go to the bathroom.
00:50:28 - No, you can't.
00:50:29 - I can't?
00:50:30 - No, I can't be in two places at once.
00:50:31 You've gotta manage down there
00:50:32 and stop calling me every time something goes wrong.
00:50:35 I'm a little busy with my family up here, Curtis.
00:50:38 All I wanna see is busy, busy worker tushies.
00:50:41 - Hey, hey, hey, I'm rolling downhill.
00:50:43 - Listen to me.
00:50:44 - This is not up to code, this building.
00:50:45 - You're number one now, act like it.
00:50:47 - Why haven't you put the treetop in the tree yet?
00:50:49 - Oh, Scott's just been a little busy.
00:50:51 - Tell your dad to do it.
00:50:55 And then watch the suddenly displaced Mr. Claus
00:50:58 run right over.
00:50:59 - Hey, Dad, do you wanna help me with the treetopper?
00:51:04 - Yeah, in a minute.
00:51:05 - I don't know who he is anymore.
00:51:11 - I don't know who he is anymore either.
00:51:13 - You know, Neil, Lucy, Laura should be here for this.
00:51:16 They left a while ago, I wonder where they are.
00:51:18 - Oh, some of the Canadians invited them over for cocoa.
00:51:21 You know how they are, yuck, yuck, yuck, yucky.
00:51:23 Scott?
00:51:25 Treetopper, what do you say?
00:51:28 - Hey, Scott, honey?
00:51:29 - Hey.
00:51:30 - Let's put the treetopper on, we can make a toast.
00:51:33 - Hey, hey, you built this place on a fault line.
00:51:35 - Millions of kids in Australia go without gifts,
00:51:37 but what can I do for you guys?
00:51:38 - Treetopper.
00:51:39 - Oh, yeah, treetopper, good.
00:51:42 - Scott, toast?
00:51:43 - Just a sec.
00:51:46 Uh-huh, uh-huh, good.
00:51:50 Bad.
00:51:51 Well, good for goodness sakes.
00:51:54 Yeah, uh-huh.
00:51:55 Hey, Curtis, I can't talk right now.
00:51:57 I'm putting the treetopper on the tree.
00:51:58 It's very important, can't talk.
00:52:00 Curtis, please, please, please, I gotta go, gotta go.
00:52:02 (phone ringing)
00:52:05 I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
00:52:07 - Good.
00:52:08 - I'm not answering that.
00:52:09 I'm putting the phone in my pocket.
00:52:11 Put it in my pocket, all done.
00:52:13 Okay, everybody, as I climb up this beautiful tree,
00:52:18 I know we've had our ups and downs,
00:52:21 but as I place this treetopper in the traditional place,
00:52:24 I just wanna say, whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:52:27 (screaming)
00:52:29 (glass shattering)
00:52:32 (soft music)
00:52:34 - Be careful, honey.
00:52:52 (soft music)
00:52:55 Oh, honey.
00:53:14 - Honey, I think maybe I can fix that.
00:53:19 I know you're upset.
00:53:22 - You picked up on that, did ya, bud?
00:53:25 - What is that supposed to mean?
00:53:27 - Well, maybe if you weren't working all the time,
00:53:29 you might know.
00:53:30 - Well, maybe you just don't understand
00:53:32 the pressure I'm under.
00:53:33 - Well, maybe it's not as bad as being ripped away
00:53:36 from your family and told you can't see them anymore.
00:53:38 - Dad.
00:53:39 - Well, maybe that's why I invited you up here, bud,
00:53:41 so Carol could be surrounded by her family
00:53:42 for love and support,
00:53:44 while I try to do things you can't even imagine.
00:53:46 But rather than try to make things work,
00:53:47 it seems like you're trying to make things worse.
00:53:49 - That's it, we're leaving.
00:53:51 - What?
00:53:52 - Maybe we shouldn't have come.
00:53:54 - Maybe you're right, maybe you shouldn't have come.
00:53:58 - Maybe I should never have come either.
00:54:02 - Don't say anything you'll regret.
00:54:04 I think we all need to cool down for a second, huh?
00:54:10 Why don't you and I take a walk?
00:54:14 Now, come on, come on, let's just go.
00:54:16 Let's just go.
00:54:17 - Okay.
00:54:20 (Carol crying)
00:54:23 (dramatic music)
00:54:25 - It's over.
00:54:53 I thought I had a second chance at having a family,
00:54:55 but I blew it again.
00:54:58 - Hey, there's no one I know
00:55:01 who could possibly hold this all together but you.
00:55:03 - But I didn't.
00:55:04 My in-laws resent me.
00:55:08 Christmas is a disaster,
00:55:09 and my pregnant wife wishes that she never had met me.
00:55:12 - You know, I was gonna wait until tomorrow
00:55:16 to give you this, but I think you need
00:55:19 a bit of a pick-me-up now.
00:55:22 - I'm not a gay.
00:55:22 - Come on, open it.
00:55:24 - I don't feel like a jack.
00:55:25 - Oh, come on, go ahead and make it feel better.
00:55:26 - I don't feel like a jack.
00:55:28 - Come on, you just opened it.
00:55:30 - Thanks.
00:55:33 - So are there times when you wonder?
00:55:37 - Wonder what?
00:55:41 - If this was even--
00:55:42 - Worth it?
00:55:45 More than you know.
00:55:48 - Tonight's one of these times, huh?
00:55:51 - I wish I'd never put that red coat on.
00:55:53 - So you wish you'd never become Santa at all?
00:55:57 - I wish I'd never become Santa.
00:56:00 - At all?
00:56:02 - At all.
00:56:06 At all.
00:56:08 Yeah, at all.
00:56:09 I wished I'd never been Santa at all.
00:56:13 Happy?
00:56:14 - I am not.
00:56:21 (laughing)
00:56:23 - Hey, you!
00:56:50 Oh!
00:56:51 (yelling)
00:57:02 - Get off me, you rubber ball!
00:57:04 - I will not let you put on that coat!
00:57:06 - Oh yeah, watch me!
00:57:07 - Don't even think about it, Jack.
00:57:09 (laughing)
00:57:11 (dramatic music)
00:57:16 (dramatic music)
00:57:18 - You hit me with a shovel!
00:57:22 (groaning)
00:57:25 Adios, fatty!
00:57:28 - No, Clark, no!
00:57:30 (groaning)
00:57:36 (dramatic music)
00:57:38 - Okay, so the Mississippi factory needs to know
00:57:55 if we want them to ship 100,000 units or 200,000.
00:57:59 They won't ship tomorrow 'cause it's Christmas,
00:58:02 but they will ship Thursday.
00:58:03 - Excuse me. - Which means we should--
00:58:05 - You said they're not gonna ship tomorrow
00:58:06 'cause it's Christmas.
00:58:07 - Yes, sir.
00:58:08 - This is Christmas Eve?
00:58:10 - Yes, sir.
00:58:11 - What are you doing here?
00:58:13 Why are we working?
00:58:15 - We always work Christmas Eve.
00:58:16 - We do?
00:58:18 - Of course.
00:58:19 - Well, that's ridiculous.
00:58:21 Christmas Eve is when you spend time with your family.
00:58:25 Where's my family tonight?
00:58:26 - I really don't know, Mr. Calvin.
00:58:29 - What do you mean?
00:58:31 - Well, you rarely see them,
00:58:33 and you don't mention them.
00:58:35 - Where are my car keys?
00:58:40 (dramatic music)
00:58:43 Hey.
00:58:52 - What are you doing here?
00:58:54 - Well, I just came over to see--
00:58:57 - See what?
00:58:59 Why on earth would you drag yourself all the way over here?
00:59:03 Is that Derek?
00:59:03 - No, and you're not going out tonight.
00:59:06 - Yeah, okay.
00:59:06 What are you doing here?
00:59:10 - Came over to see you.
00:59:11 - Why?
00:59:13 - 'Cause we don't see each other enough.
00:59:18 (car horn honking)
00:59:19 - What?
00:59:20 - Come on, Charlie!
00:59:21 - I'm outta here.
00:59:23 - Oh, come on, Charlie.
00:59:24 It's Christmas Eve.
00:59:25 Don't-- - Like either of us care, Mom?
00:59:26 - Charlie.
00:59:27 - What?
00:59:28 - Come back here.
00:59:29 Charlie.
00:59:30 - Good night, Scott.
00:59:31 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:59:33 Can you help me find Carol?
00:59:35 - Carol?
00:59:37 - Carol Newman.
00:59:38 - Carol Newman, the principal of Charlie's school?
00:59:41 Carol Newman?
00:59:42 - Yeah, do you know where she is?
00:59:43 - I don't know.
00:59:45 She moved away.
00:59:46 Ran out of local kids to terrify, I guess.
00:59:48 I don't know.
00:59:49 What is the matter with you?
00:59:51 - Neil.
00:59:52 Neil and Lucy.
00:59:53 They'll understand.
00:59:54 Where are they?
00:59:56 - At the North Pole.
00:59:58 - At the North Pole?
00:59:59 - Yeah.
01:00:00 - The North Pole.
01:00:01 - Frost.
01:00:01 - What?
01:00:03 - Frost turned the North Pole into a theme park.
01:00:06 - Neil has been taking Lucy to the North Pole
01:00:09 ever since he and I got our divorce, remember?
01:00:12 - Divorce?
01:00:14 - Are you sure you should be driving?
01:00:19 - I'm gonna make everything okay.
01:00:22 I'm gonna make everything okay.
01:00:24 - I'm gonna make everything okay.
01:00:25 - I'm gonna make everything okay.
01:00:27 - I'm gonna make everything okay.
01:00:28 I'm gonna make everything better.
01:00:30 - Yeah, okay.
01:00:33 (dramatic music)
01:00:39 (train horn blaring)
01:00:42 ♪ Welcome all you girls and boys ♪
01:01:03 ♪ Come on in and build a toy ♪
01:01:04 ♪ Mom and Dad shall have some fun ♪
01:01:06 ♪ My resort for everyone ♪
01:01:08 ♪ There's lots of elves to help you buy ♪
01:01:10 ♪ Santa T-shirts, Santa ties ♪
01:01:11 ♪ Lots of rides, so much to do ♪
01:01:13 ♪ And comments in the petting zoo ♪
01:01:15 ♪ But what's the best of all ♪
01:01:16 ♪ What's the best of all ♪
01:01:18 ♪ You'll meet Santa ♪
01:01:19 ♪ Come meet Santa ♪
01:01:21 ♪ Watch him make his list and check it twice ♪
01:01:23 ♪ You'll get a gift if you've been nice ♪
01:01:25 ♪ Meet Santa ♪
01:01:26 ♪ Come meet Santa ♪
01:01:28 ♪ Enjoy the food, the rides, the clothes ♪
01:01:30 ♪ Come on in and see my show ♪
01:01:32 ♪ Buy a ticket, here we go ♪
01:01:34 ♪ Ho ho ho ♪
01:01:35 ♪ Come meet Santa ♪
01:01:37 ♪ You'll meet Santa ♪
01:01:38 ♪ Yes, I'm Santa ♪
01:01:40 ♪ Ho ho ho ♪
01:01:42 - Give a ticket, we're here first.
01:01:44 - Shut up, I said okay already.
01:01:45 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:01:47 - I want another one.
01:01:48 - I'm not made of money, all right?
01:01:50 - Well.
01:01:52 - Try our gingerbread house.
01:01:54 There, they're Santalicious.
01:01:56 - Don't forget to buy a ticket for Santa's show.
01:02:01 - Do I look like a caster?
01:02:03 - Is that too much to ask?
01:02:05 - I wanna get a ticket too.
01:02:07 (crowd chattering)
01:02:10 - Move it, come on.
01:02:13 - Forget it, nothing, nothing's moving.
01:02:16 - I saw it first.
01:02:17 - No you didn't, I'm buying.
01:02:19 - Give it to me.
01:02:20 - No way.
01:02:20 - Mom.
01:02:21 - Dad, I don't like this.
01:02:26 - Let's just talk to him.
01:02:28 - He's dead somewhere else.
01:02:31 - Will you stay right there with me and hold my hand?
01:02:34 (dramatic music)
01:02:37 - I wanna look through the ring.
01:02:39 - Yeah, push it.
01:02:40 (growling)
01:02:43 - Kenzie, remember how much your parents loved you
01:02:48 depends on how much Lisa's been in your presence.
01:02:51 - Hurry up, Dad, let's go.
01:02:53 Come on, I wanna ride.
01:02:56 - Lucy, Neil.
01:02:59 - Scott Calvin.
01:02:59 Odd place to run into you.
01:03:02 (crowd chattering)
01:03:05 - Luce.
01:03:06 - What's up, Mr. Calvin?
01:03:08 Can you please go?
01:03:10 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:03:13 What happened between you and Laura?
01:03:15 - Scott, I know you think therapy is like witchcraft,
01:03:17 but you of all people might consider it.
01:03:19 - Please, please, just tell me.
01:03:22 - You don't really know because you were never around.
01:03:28 - It shouldn't be any news to you, Scott.
01:03:30 You were never a father to Charlie.
01:03:32 You put all the pressure on me, and guess what?
01:03:35 He didn't want me to be his father.
01:03:37 Which messed things up pretty good between me and Laura.
01:03:42 You want me to go on, Scott?
01:03:45 - Come on, Dad, the line's getting longer.
01:03:47 - Excuse me, sir.
01:03:54 - Curtis. - Yes, sir.
01:03:57 Can I offer you two tickets for a turn
01:03:58 to build a toy with Santa's elves?
01:03:59 - No. - Plus, I'll throw in
01:04:00 this year's commemorative pen.
01:04:02 - What is that? - Which is voice enhanced.
01:04:03 Will that be cash or credit card, sir?
01:04:06 Will that be cash or credit card, sir?
01:04:07 - That's silly.
01:04:08 - And if you're still not sure,
01:04:09 I'll even throw in a pass for the nice list.
01:04:11 - The nice list? - Walk with me, won't you?
01:04:12 - Curtis, it's me.
01:04:14 For the love of candy canes, what have you done here?
01:04:17 - Well, sir, this is the nice list kiosk.
01:04:19 The line ends over there by the reindeer petting zoo.
01:04:21 - Wait a minute, you mean parents pay
01:04:23 to have their kids put on the nice list?
01:04:25 That's not right.
01:04:26 I've gotta change things back the way they were.
01:04:28 Where's your boss?
01:04:29 - I, I, I, where's Frost?
01:04:31 Curtis, where's Frost?
01:04:34 - Security!
01:04:35 - Bring Frost out here right now!
01:04:36 - I'll take care of him.
01:04:38 - Look, there's Santa.
01:04:45 - Nice to see you, mon frere.
01:04:48 I've been waiting.
01:04:49 Has it been 12 years already?
01:04:51 Frost.
01:04:51 What have you done?
01:04:54 - Hey, he's a dazzler money man.
01:04:56 - Oh, hello.
01:04:57 Love what you've done with the plates?
01:04:59 - Shave a reindeer for $5.
01:05:01 - Hey, Frost, Frost, what about the secret of Santa?
01:05:03 How could you do this to the North Pole?
01:05:05 - The whole thing is way too much work.
01:05:07 Way too much pressure.
01:05:09 Besides, no one even thanks you for all the effort.
01:05:11 - What do you mean no thank yous?
01:05:12 What about all the plates of cookies and the milk?
01:05:14 - Please, I'm cleansing.
01:05:15 So I stopped the whole toy delivery nonsense
01:05:19 and I brought anyone who could afford to pay right up here.
01:05:22 - Who needs magic?
01:05:24 Who needs to be crawling on roofs and chimneys?
01:05:27 - I've got everything I need right here.
01:05:29 - Look around you.
01:05:30 This is not how the North Pole is supposed to be.
01:05:31 You know this is wrong.
01:05:33 - Why don't you chill out and enjoy the swag, huh?
01:05:36 - This junk is not what Christmas is about.
01:05:38 - Hey, you're the one who gave it all up.
01:05:40 - Because you tricked me.
01:05:41 - Tricked you?
01:05:42 Give me a break.
01:05:43 - I didn't know you had my snow globe.
01:05:45 - Maybe not.
01:05:46 But who said, "I wish I'd never been sad at all"?
01:05:48 - What?
01:05:49 - I said, "Who said, 'I wish I'd never been sad at all'"?
01:05:52 Rudolph?
01:05:54 Rudolph's mama?
01:05:55 - Frost, switch back with me.
01:05:57 Now's your chance.
01:05:57 And this is your chance to enjoy the show.
01:06:00 Security!
01:06:01 - Yes, sir.
01:06:02 - Take my guest to a seat, won't you?
01:06:04 - Thanks so much.
01:06:06 - Come on, let's go.
01:06:08 - Tickets on sale now for the six o'clock health toss.
01:06:11 (upbeat music)
01:06:16 - Never too late to get your chance to stand a show.
01:06:23 (upbeat music)
01:06:26 - Hey, Luce.
01:06:52 I know something really wonderful about you.
01:06:55 You love snow globes.
01:06:58 - Yeah.
01:06:59 - Well, that's true.
01:07:00 I've got a surprise for you.
01:07:02 Just up those stairs, behind a vending machine
01:07:05 is a secret room filled with snow globes
01:07:08 like you've never seen.
01:07:10 Beautiful snow globes.
01:07:11 There's a secret code to get in that, wouldn't you?
01:07:14 - What's the code?
01:07:15 (upbeat music)
01:07:18 (people chattering)
01:07:21 - I want you to grab the one in the middle
01:07:25 and bring it back down to me.
01:07:26 I need your help.
01:07:28 - But I don't wanna go up there all alone.
01:07:32 - Lucy.
01:07:35 Trust me.
01:07:38 This is really important.
01:07:40 (gentle music)
01:07:43 (gentle music)
01:07:45 - Okay.
01:07:50 Okay.
01:07:52 - Okay.
01:07:53 I'll create a little diversion.
01:07:55 Boy, this show stinks.
01:07:58 Come on.
01:07:59 - Hey, hold it!
01:08:01 - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:08:02 - Come on, guys.
01:08:03 (people chattering)
01:08:08 - Lucy!
01:08:08 (upbeat music)
01:08:11 (people chattering)
01:08:14 - Grab a seat, everybody.
01:08:16 The show's about to begin.
01:08:18 (audience applauding)
01:08:26 (gentle music)
01:08:39 ♪ Start spreading the news ♪
01:08:43 ♪ By ghetto, by slave ♪
01:08:47 ♪ You wanna be a part of it ♪
01:08:50 ♪ North Pole, North Pole ♪
01:08:54 ♪ You snooze and you lose ♪
01:08:57 ♪ So come here to play ♪
01:09:01 ♪ Here at the very heart of it ♪
01:09:05 ♪ North Pole, North Pole ♪
01:09:08 ♪ Come see the snowman ♪
01:09:11 ♪ Up where no man's without a treat ♪
01:09:16 ♪ And watch this king of the chill ♪
01:09:19 ♪ Ha, turn up the heat ♪
01:09:23 ♪ Are those summertime blues ♪
01:09:26 ♪ Are melting away ♪
01:09:30 ♪ Although it's 55 below ♪
01:09:34 (gentle music)
01:09:38 (audience cheering)
01:09:41 ♪ The summertime blues ♪
01:09:50 ♪ Are melting away ♪
01:09:55 ♪ Although it's 55 below ♪
01:10:00 ♪ At far north ♪
01:10:03 ♪ If you can make it here ♪
01:10:08 ♪ The world's all Christmas cheer ♪
01:10:13 ♪ Holiday gold ♪
01:10:19 ♪ North Pole ♪
01:10:22 ♪ North Pole ♪
01:10:31 (audience cheering)
01:10:34 - Thank you, thank you.
01:10:36 (screaming)
01:10:38 - I'm gonna kick the coal out of whoever did that.
01:10:44 - You, you're not Santa Claus.
01:10:48 That is an imposter.
01:10:50 I'm Santa Claus.
01:10:51 - Guards, guards, get him.
01:10:53 - Bring it on.
01:10:56 - No, I'm the man.
01:10:57 - Come on in, come on in.
01:11:00 - You don't mind?
01:11:01 (screaming)
01:11:03 - Hey, where are you going?
01:11:04 Get down from there.
01:11:05 - Guess if you guys want me,
01:11:07 you're gonna have to come up here and get me.
01:11:10 (screaming)
01:11:14 (laughing)
01:11:16 (slow music)
01:11:26 (door creaking)
01:11:29 - Get this through your head.
01:11:47 You're not Santa anymore.
01:11:49 You're just a guy who smells like a cookie.
01:11:53 (slow music)
01:11:55 - Hey, how about a game of catch?
01:12:03 Lucy, toss it.
01:12:04 (slow music)
01:12:06 Ooh, nice try, compadre.
01:12:22 And lovely teamwork.
01:12:24 There's only one problem.
01:12:26 You're never gonna get me to say,
01:12:30 I wish I'd never been Santa at all.
01:12:33 - Now who said that?
01:12:35 Rudolph?
01:12:36 Rudolph's mama?
01:12:37 (screaming)
01:12:46 (slow music)
01:12:48 (screaming)
01:12:51 - I gotta get my coat back.
01:13:07 (screaming)
01:13:09 - Come here.
01:13:12 - Hey!
01:13:16 - There.
01:13:17 - Stop it.
01:13:22 - Whoa, freaky.
01:13:26 - Hey you!
01:13:27 - Ho, ho, ho, ho!
01:13:28 (explosion)
01:13:31 - Let me go, that coat belongs to me.
01:13:41 - No, Frost, that coat belongs to him.
01:13:45 - You got him.
01:13:46 - This guy was huge.
01:13:48 - Yeah, well I'm Santa now, okay?
01:13:49 - You don't look like Santa.
01:13:51 - You killed him.
01:13:52 - Did not.
01:13:53 - I want that coat.
01:13:54 - Let me go.
01:13:55 - Dad, you gotta see this.
01:13:58 - Charlie, Charlie.
01:13:59 - Let me go.
01:14:01 I want the coat.
01:14:02 - Why?
01:14:03 Because you make such a good Santa?
01:14:04 Because all the elves love you?
01:14:06 All those people you took money from, they love you?
01:14:09 Listen to me, listen to me.
01:14:11 Being Santa's not something you can take.
01:14:13 It's something that chooses you.
01:14:15 - How do I look, nice?
01:14:19 - And you're too late.
01:14:20 (screaming)
01:14:29 - Carol.
01:14:43 Carol.
01:14:44 Well that didn't work out the way I'd hoped.
01:14:48 Carol.
01:14:49 - Oh, Scott, we've been looking everywhere for you.
01:14:55 - Come here.
01:14:55 Oh, Mrs. Claus, I missed you.
01:14:58 I missed you so much, so much.
01:15:00 - Wait, it's just been a few minutes.
01:15:02 - It's only been a few minutes.
01:15:06 Of course it's only been a few minutes,
01:15:08 but it only takes a few minutes
01:15:09 to see the truth of an entire lifetime.
01:15:11 - I don't understand.
01:15:12 - Every man goes out in the world
01:15:13 and expects his dreams to come true,
01:15:15 and then, and then they expect it to happen.
01:15:18 She'd pick up a red coat and become Santa Claus.
01:15:19 That's big, that's huge, that's huge.
01:15:21 And it's a lot of pressure.
01:15:23 I mean, taking care of all the children of the world,
01:15:25 and the elves, and the SOS, and the North Pole.
01:15:28 But he loses sight of what's really important.
01:15:30 A woman falls in love with him,
01:15:32 gives him a baby.
01:15:35 I love being Santa Claus, and I love you.
01:15:39 - I love you too.
01:15:40 Have you been drinking cocoa?
01:15:42 - No, I'm back.
01:15:44 - I've missed you very, very much.
01:15:46 - I've missed you too.
01:15:47 (both gasping)
01:15:52 - Hey, you guys know what happened?
01:15:54 - No.
01:15:55 - We ticked each other off, that's it.
01:15:57 Just like families all over the world
01:15:59 are doing on Christmas Eve, they love each other.
01:16:00 Ticking each other off.
01:16:02 And it's okay, 'cause we don't have to be perfect
01:16:03 to be good families.
01:16:04 We just have to be together.
01:16:08 - I'm still so very sorry that we just added
01:16:11 to all this pressure that you're under.
01:16:13 And I think that we should apologize, don't you, honey?
01:16:17 - No, it's good I'm tough on him.
01:16:19 I'm his father-in-law, it's my job.
01:16:21 - Yes, as long as you promise to do it every Christmas,
01:16:24 it's fine with me.
01:16:25 - Well, we'll see about that.
01:16:26 I'm a very busy guy.
01:16:27 - And so am I.
01:16:28 And I'd like to show you guys what I do.
01:16:30 - Oh, Scott, the SOS.
01:16:31 - The SOS is about secrets.
01:16:33 And secrets aren't for families.
01:16:34 And I'm tired of keeping you from your family.
01:16:36 So if you guys would follow me to my factory.
01:16:39 (phone beeps)
01:16:41 (door opens)
01:16:42 (dramatic music)
01:16:45 - Helps.
01:17:00 Helps, stop working for a minute.
01:17:06 I'd like you all to say hello to the in-laws.
01:17:08 - Hello, in-laws.
01:17:10 - Hello.
01:17:13 - How you doing?
01:17:14 - Elves.
01:17:18 - Oh my.
01:17:19 - They're not little Canadians, they're elves.
01:17:22 - I've never seen, like in person.
01:17:23 - Listen, if they're elves, this is not a toy factory.
01:17:27 This is probably Santa's workshop.
01:17:30 And if this is probably Santa's--
01:17:31 - If this is Santa's workshop, then he--
01:17:34 - Then he's the guy.
01:17:35 Hey, you, you're the guy.
01:17:39 You're Father Christmas.
01:17:40 - It's a little freaky, but you'll get used to it.
01:17:43 - Whoa.
01:17:45 Whoa.
01:17:48 If you're Father Christmas, that means
01:17:51 I'm Father Christmas's father-in-law.
01:17:53 That means I'm Father-in-law Christmas.
01:17:57 - And I'm Mother-in-law Christmas.
01:18:01 - Whoa.
01:18:02 Whoa.
01:18:04 - Hi, Santa.
01:18:05 Hi, bud.
01:18:08 Sylvia.
01:18:11 Oh, the little pellets behind me?
01:18:15 I'll clean those up later.
01:18:17 - Santa, Santa, where do you keep the Phillips screwdrivers?
01:18:21 - Oh, elf construction.
01:18:22 Talk to Irv, okay?
01:18:24 Oh, oh, Cupid.
01:18:25 At this altitude, you might wanna consider an underdiver.
01:18:30 - I don't mind the draft.
01:18:31 - That was Cupid.
01:18:33 - Yeah.
01:18:34 - Hello, Santa.
01:18:37 - Father time.
01:18:38 - Father time, what next?
01:18:40 - Well, hello, Santa.
01:18:42 This is a blast.
01:18:44 - Mother Nature.
01:18:45 How can I ever thank you for this?
01:18:49 - Don't thank me.
01:18:50 He's the one who brought us here.
01:18:52 - Hey, Dad.
01:18:53 - Charlie.
01:18:54 - Hi, Santa.
01:18:55 - Hey, Tooth.
01:18:56 - Hi, Santa.
01:18:57 - Sandy.
01:18:58 - Just checked in with Curse and found out you were behind,
01:18:59 so decided to call in the professionals.
01:19:02 - Uncle Scott!
01:19:03 - Lucy, what's happened?
01:19:07 - I found her locked in a closet.
01:19:09 - What's wrong?
01:19:10 - You've gotta see what Frost did to my mom and dad.
01:19:12 (dramatic music)
01:19:15 - It's gonna be okay.
01:19:30 (door slams)
01:19:33 - Ow!
01:19:38 - Yeah, and?
01:19:44 - Elphicers, I have you.
01:19:46 Jack, this isn't funny.
01:19:50 Unfreeze the parents right now.
01:19:52 - No way, Klaus.
01:19:54 I can't unfreeze them without unfreezing myself,
01:19:56 and that is something I'll never do.
01:19:59 - Mother Nature, help me out here.
01:20:01 Can you thaw him out?
01:20:02 - I'm sorry, Santa.
01:20:03 Our powers don't work on other legendary figures.
01:20:06 - Isn't that a shame?
01:20:07 (laughs)
01:20:10 (dramatic music)
01:20:12 (gentle music)
01:20:24 (gentle music)
01:20:27 - What do you say, Luce?
01:20:30 - Do you think it'll work?
01:20:34 - The question is, you.
01:20:35 (gentle music)
01:20:54 - I'm done.
01:20:55 (gentle music)
01:21:02 - Okay, this is what you're all reduced to?
01:21:09 Sending a little girl in to save the day, are we?
01:21:15 What you gonna do?
01:21:17 Adorableize me?
01:21:19 Sweeten me into submission?
01:21:21 Cute me to death?
01:21:23 Make me change my way?
01:21:25 Hey, you feel so strange.
01:21:29 Feel slushy inside.
01:21:34 Do I smell suntan lotion?
01:21:40 I feel so tropical.
01:21:42 Miguel!
01:21:44 (speaking in foreign language)
01:21:46 What's happening to me?
01:21:49 - I'm warming your heart.
01:21:52 - But they told me it couldn't be done.
01:21:54 - They didn't know about magical hugs.
01:21:58 (gentle music)
01:22:00 - I think I like it.
01:22:05 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
01:22:07 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
01:22:11 (gasps)
01:22:13 (gasps)
01:22:15 (gasps)
01:22:17 (gasps)
01:22:19 (gasps)
01:22:22 (grunts)
01:22:24 - Mom, Dad!
01:22:28 - Lucy!
01:22:29 - Dad!
01:22:30 (gasps)
01:22:32 - Group hug!
01:22:34 - Feel the love.
01:22:43 - Yes!
01:22:44 (gentle music)
01:22:47 (crying)
01:23:13 (crying)
01:23:15 - Oh, Scott, it's time.
01:23:22 - Oh, about 10 o'clock.
01:23:24 - It's time to deliver the package.
01:23:26 - Oh, midnight as usual.
01:23:27 - Oh, it's time to deliver the package.
01:23:31 Yeah.
01:23:35 - It's time to deliver the package!
01:23:37 (gasps)
01:23:38 Baby Claus is on the way!
01:23:40 (screams)
01:23:42 (screams)
01:23:45 (screams)
01:23:48 - And then, the most magical thing of all
01:23:54 is that I got to deliver just before Santa had to deliver.
01:24:00 - Are you telling stories again?
01:24:02 (gasps)
01:24:04 Make sure you get to the part
01:24:07 about Santa changing a mean diaper.
01:24:09 (laughing)
01:24:12 - So, who got to pick out the name?
01:24:14 - Oh, that was easy.
01:24:16 We named him after his grandpa.
01:24:17 - That's right.
01:24:18 Say hello to Buddy Claus.
01:24:21 (laughing)
01:24:23 (dramatic music)
01:24:28 (dramatic music)
01:24:31 - Keep rolling, don't cut.
01:24:55 - All right, ready boys?
01:24:56 - Yeah.
01:24:57 - Ready?
01:24:58 - Calm, calm down.
01:24:59 - Yeah, but we'll do it right, Marty.
01:25:00 - Mark!
01:25:01 (clapping)
01:25:02 - Action!
01:25:03 - You like carrot juice?
01:25:05 Beta carotene gives me a buzz.
01:25:09 - Honey!
01:25:10 - I'm built for speed and comfort.
01:25:12 - Oh.
01:25:13 You're weird, man.
01:25:18 (laughing)
01:25:20 - Look, I'm not gonna evoke.
01:25:26 Look, I'm not gonna evoke.
01:25:28 - Invoke!
01:25:28 - Easy!
01:25:30 I'm not gonna invoke.
01:25:31 (laughing)
01:25:35 (yelling)
01:25:38 - Frost, he turned the North Pole into an amusement park.
01:25:50 Why is that funny?
01:25:53 North Pole?
01:25:56 - Is my fly down?
01:25:57 - Frost.
01:25:59 Is my acting somehow humorous to you?
01:26:05 (laughing)
01:26:08 (yelling)
01:26:10 - Yeah, well I'm Santa now.
01:26:12 - Really, you don't look like Santa.
01:26:14 - Well, I am.
01:26:16 I'm sorry.
01:26:17 (laughing)
01:26:17 - That was good.
01:26:18 - That was good, though.
01:26:19 - All of a sudden, Rolf's very clued, he showed up.
01:26:20 - Well, I am.
01:26:22 (clapping)
01:26:22 (yelling)
01:26:25 (yelling)
01:26:27 (yelling)
01:26:30 - Mother Nature, can you thaw my?
01:26:34 (laughing)
01:26:36 Can you thaw my?
01:26:37 (laughing)
01:26:40 - Tim!
01:26:45 - What?
01:26:45 I was laughing 'cause it was in the scene.
01:26:48 - There's no laughing in this scene.
01:26:49 - I was happy.
01:26:50 (laughing)
01:26:51 ♪ There's a special kind of feeling in the air ♪
01:26:54 ♪ It only happens at this time of year ♪
01:26:57 ♪ When everyone is filled with love and cheer ♪
01:27:00 ♪ That's what matters ♪
01:27:04 ♪ Pretty paper boxes tied with bows ♪
01:27:07 ♪ Walking in the sun or in the snow ♪
01:27:10 ♪ We can feel the excitement ♪
01:27:14 ♪ Growing, knowing ♪
01:27:17 ♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
01:27:20 ♪ And it's here ♪
01:27:22 ♪ Come and celebrate it with everybody here ♪
01:27:26 ♪ Friends so dear ♪
01:27:28 ♪ Let me simply state it ♪
01:27:30 ♪ Joy to the world and everyone ♪
01:27:32 ♪ Let's hug your hearts and feel the love ♪
01:27:36 ♪ It's our favorite way ♪
01:27:39 ♪ To spend the holiday ♪
01:27:44 ♪ We can get all cozy by the fire ♪
01:27:48 ♪ Turn the music up a little higher ♪
01:27:52 ♪ I don't think that I could ever tire ♪
01:27:55 ♪ Of being together ♪
01:27:59 ♪ Decorate the tree ♪
01:28:01 ♪ Hang mistletoe and stand by me ♪
01:28:05 ♪ It's a picture perfect moment captured ♪
01:28:08 ♪ Memories that we'll have after ♪
01:28:11 ♪ The greatest time of year ♪
01:28:14 ♪ And it's here ♪
01:28:16 ♪ Come and celebrate it with everybody here ♪
01:28:20 ♪ Friends so dear ♪
01:28:22 ♪ Let me simply state it ♪
01:28:24 ♪ Joy to the world and everyone ♪
01:28:27 ♪ Let's hug your hearts and feel the love ♪
01:28:30 ♪ It's our favorite way ♪
01:28:33 ♪ To spend the holiday ♪
01:28:38 ♪ Spend the holiday ♪
01:28:42 ♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
01:28:47 ♪ Time to love ♪
01:28:52 ♪ It's our favorite time ♪
01:28:57 ♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
01:29:05 ♪ And it's here ♪
01:29:07 ♪ Help me celebrate it with everybody here ♪
01:29:11 ♪ Friends so dear ♪
01:29:13 ♪ Let me simply state it ♪
01:29:15 ♪ Joy to the world, joy to the world, joy to the world ♪
01:29:20 ♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
01:29:28 ♪ It's the greatest, greatest time of year ♪
01:29:34 ♪ And it's here ♪
01:29:35 ♪ Help me celebrate it with everybody here ♪
01:29:40 ♪ Friends so dear ♪
01:29:42 ♪ Let me simply state it ♪
01:29:44 ♪ Joy to the world and everyone ♪
01:29:46 ♪ Let's hug your hearts and feel the love ♪
01:29:51 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:29:59 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:02 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:05 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:07 ♪ And I know for sure ♪
01:30:09 ♪ Just because I'm the real Santa Claus ♪
01:30:13 ♪ Seven days a week ♪
01:30:16 ♪ 24 hours a day ♪
01:30:20 ♪ I dress the same ♪
01:30:22 ♪ True in every way ♪
01:30:25 ♪ For me it ain't no act nor a game ♪
01:30:28 ♪ Santa Claus is my real name ♪
01:30:32 (upbeat music)
01:30:34 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:51 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:54 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:57 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:30:59 ♪ And I know for sure ♪
01:31:01 ♪ Just because I'm the real Santa Claus ♪
01:31:06 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:31:08 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:31:11 ♪ And I know for sure ♪
01:31:13 ♪ Just because I'm the real Santa Claus ♪
01:31:17 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:31:20 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:31:23 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:31:26 ♪ I'm the real Santa ♪
01:31:28 ♪ And I know for sure ♪
01:31:30 ♪ Just because I'm the real Santa Claus ♪
01:31:35 (upbeat music)
01:31:38 (upbeat music)
01:31:40 (upbeat music)
01:31:43 (upbeat music)
01:31:46 (upbeat music)
01:31:48 (upbeat music)
01:31:51 (upbeat music)
01:31:53 [BLANK_AUDIO]