Pineapple Express (2008) UNRATED

PicturePerfectChannel

Pineapple Express is a 2008 American buddy stoner action comedy film directed by David Gordon Green, written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg and starring Rogen and James Franco. The plot centers on a process server and his marijuana dealer as they are forced to flee from hitmen and a corrupt police officer after witnessing them commit a murder. Producer Judd Apatow, who previously worked with Rogen and Goldberg on Knocked Up and Superbad, assisted in developing the story.

Transcript

00:00:00 [MUSIC]

00:00:10 [MUSIC]

00:00:20 [MUSIC]

00:00:45 [MUSIC]

00:01:14 When did it start?

00:01:15 At 0500, we're seven minutes in.

00:01:17 [MUSIC]

00:01:19 [COUGHING]

00:01:25 Okay, Private Miller, you've been smoking item nine for seven minutes and 13 seconds.

00:01:31 We're going to ask you several questions.

00:01:33 How do you feel?

00:01:34 Well, sir, I feel like a...

00:01:39 Like a slice of butter melting on top of a big old pile of flapjacks.

00:01:47 Yeah.

00:01:52 Okay, Private Miller, when you think of your superiors, what emotions do you feel?

00:01:57 [MUSIC]

00:02:04 Okay, Private Miller.

00:02:06 [MUSIC]

00:02:10 Is this normal?

00:02:12 Okay, Private Miller.

00:02:13 Okay, Private Miller.

00:02:15 Private Miller.

00:02:17 [MUSIC]

00:02:21 Answer the question.

00:02:22 [COUGHING]

00:02:28 This one out, sir.

00:02:30 Can you torch me?

00:02:32 We'll send someone in.

00:02:34 Holy bejesus.

00:02:37 [COUGHING]

00:02:42 Private Miller, answer the question.

00:02:46 What was the question again, sir?

00:02:48 When you think of your superiors, what emotions do you feel?

00:02:52 You know what problem I have with your fucking little dog and pony act you call the military?

00:02:58 Here it is.

00:02:59 One, lots of dudes.

00:03:01 Where are the boobies?

00:03:03 Two, why are we underground right now, sir?

00:03:07 Why can't we be out in the open?

00:03:08 Why aren't we in a square right now?

00:03:10 Why aren't we talking to people, letting them know Item 9 exists?

00:03:13 Get it out.

00:03:15 Shout at the rooftops.

00:03:16 This is great.

00:03:18 This is the bee's knees, Item 9.

00:03:21 Private, we need you to be serious.

00:03:23 I'm serious.

00:03:24 Your dick, my mountain.

00:03:26 [COUGHING]

00:03:31 That's inappropriate.

00:03:32 [COUGHING]

00:03:41 Fuck you.

00:03:42 I've seen enough.

00:03:44 Shut it down.

00:03:46 Parry the hatch, sell the land, and dispose of him.

00:03:50 This never happened.

00:03:51 Dude, what happened to your eye?

00:03:53 Hey, hello.

00:03:54 Bleep, blorp, bleep, bleep, blurp, blurp.

00:03:56 Can you guys understand me?

00:03:58 Hey, where are we going?

00:03:59 This is General Bratt.

00:04:00 We've reached a final conclusion on Item 9.

00:04:03 Illegal!

00:04:05 Hey, this is Sam.

00:04:06 Good morning.

00:04:07 Welcome to KRAD.

00:04:08 You know, I think that last caller had some undeniable points.

00:04:11 But right now, we're going to get to the next caller, Dale Denton.

00:04:14 Hey, Sam.

00:04:15 Big, huge fan.

00:04:17 First time caller.

00:04:18 Here's my piece.

00:04:19 All right.

00:04:20 If marijuana is not legal within the next five years, I have no faith left in humanity, period.

00:04:26 Everyone likes smoking weed.

00:04:28 They have for thousands of years.

00:04:30 They're not going to stop any time soon.

00:04:31 You know, it makes everything better.

00:04:33 It makes food taste better.

00:04:34 It makes music better.

00:04:35 It makes sex feel better, for God's sake.

00:04:37 It makes shitty movies better, you know?

00:04:39 [MUSIC - THE KRAD, "ELECTRIC"]

00:04:40 We're going to rock down to electric.

00:04:42 I brand new.

00:04:43 And then we'll take it higher.

00:04:46 Oh, we're going to rock down to electric.

00:04:49 Hi, there.

00:04:50 Are you Sandra Damby?

00:04:51 Yeah.

00:04:52 Well, I am Garth from Global Saviors.

00:04:56 And--

00:04:57 What is this?

00:04:58 I'm just joking.

00:04:59 You failed to show up for your divorce proceedings like four times under court order.

00:05:03 And you've been served.

00:05:05 Oh, great.

00:05:06 All right, thanks a lot, asshole.

00:05:07 Sorry.

00:05:08 I'm just saying love has no age.

00:05:10 You can't instantly tell me that a man, because he's a certain age, can't marry a woman or love a woman.

00:05:16 I'm dating a high school girl.

00:05:17 You're not maximizing your potential, baby.

00:05:19 You honestly think this girl takes you seriously?

00:05:21 I like it, no.

00:05:22 But if I'm 25 and the girl is 18 years old, you know, in society, that might look bad.

00:05:27 But--

00:05:28 Hey, as long as it's consensual.

00:05:29 I think it's consensual.

00:05:32 Yo, you've been served.

00:05:34 You've been served.

00:05:35 You've been served.

00:05:37 You've been served.

00:05:40 [BELL RINGS]

00:05:41 [MUSIC - "OH NO"]

00:05:42 Oh, no.

00:05:43 [MUSIC - "OH NO"]

00:05:45 Oh, no.

00:05:47 Walter Woska III.

00:05:49 You here to fix the fax machine?

00:05:51 No, I'm here to tell you, oh, MasterCard, $4,068.

00:05:55 You've been served by the best, my friend.

00:05:56 Keep it real.

00:05:57 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:05:58 We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

00:06:02 And then we'll take it higher.

00:06:03 Get a real job, you fucking cocksucker.

00:06:06 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:06:07 We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

00:06:10 And then we'll take it higher.

00:06:11 Hey, Electric Avenue.

00:06:13 I know, right?

00:06:14 Yeah.

00:06:15 Hey, take that shit to the next level, eh?

00:06:18 OK, I will.

00:06:19 All the way.

00:06:20 All the way.

00:06:21 [SPEAKING SPANISH]

00:06:22 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:06:23 Dealing in multiplication.

00:06:25 And they still can't feed everyone.

00:06:28 Oh, no.

00:06:29 We're gonna rock down to--

00:06:31 Dr. Edgar Terence?

00:06:33 Yes?

00:06:34 You have repeatedly refused to trim the monkey tree that

00:06:37 spills onto your neighbor's property.

00:06:38 And now because of that, you've been served.

00:06:41 Oh, you're a jerk.

00:06:43 All this current system is doing

00:06:45 is putting money in the hands of criminals.

00:06:48 And it's making ordinary people like you and me

00:06:50 deal with those criminals.

00:06:51 Have you ever dealt with a drug dealer?

00:06:53 It's terrible.

00:06:54 It's weird.

00:06:55 It's awkward.

00:06:56 They kind of think they're your friend,

00:06:57 but they're not your friend.

00:06:58 All right, Dale, get your point.

00:06:59 Thanks for your input.

00:07:00 Next caller, please.

00:07:01 [MUMBLING]

00:07:02 [MUMBLING]

00:07:03 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:07:04 [SPITS]

00:07:05 [GRUNTS]

00:07:06 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:07:07 [PHONE RINGS]

00:07:08 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:07:09 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:07:10 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:07:11 [MUSIC - "ELECTRIC AVENUE"]

00:07:14 I can't come.

00:07:17 What?

00:07:19 Why the fuck not, Dale?

00:07:20 Just look, I can't come, OK?

00:07:22 I can't-- I just--

00:07:23 I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.

00:07:24 It's just a bad day for me, OK?

00:07:25 Jesus Christ, Dale.

00:07:26 When were you going to tell me that?

00:07:27 That's what fucking you need to do.

00:07:28 I'm telling you right now.

00:07:29 My mom has been shopping all day long.

00:07:30 Well, why has she been shopping all day?

00:07:31 She's already planning her cooch cruise.

00:07:32 Only why I said I might be able to go.

00:07:33 So why is she doing that already?

00:07:35 Now I look like an asshole.

00:07:36 You are one.

00:07:37 Oh, come on.

00:07:38 Don't say that.

00:07:39 I just can't go.

00:07:40 You're not going to go, are you?

00:07:41 Fine.

00:07:42 Fine?

00:07:43 Don't come.

00:07:44 I don't care.

00:07:45 You don't care?

00:07:46 Then why have you been inviting me this whole time?

00:07:47 I thought you wanted me to go.

00:07:48 Because if you don't want to meet them,

00:07:49 I don't want you to meet them.

00:07:50 I want to meet them.

00:07:51 I just can't.

00:07:52 I have a job.

00:07:53 I'm sorry.

00:07:54 What do you want from me?

00:07:55 I just know they'll like you, that's all.

00:07:57 You're great.

00:07:58 And you're funny.

00:07:59 And you're sexy.

00:08:01 I just want them to see that.

00:08:03 You want them to see that I'm sexy?

00:08:05 Hey, people.

00:08:06 Hi, Mr. Edwards.

00:08:07 Can I help you?

00:08:08 Uh, no, I'm good.

00:08:09 I'm here to see you, though.

00:08:10 Yeah?

00:08:11 I see you don't have a visitor's badge.

00:08:12 That's why I ask.

00:08:13 I'm, uh--

00:08:14 Actually, this is my boyfriend.

00:08:16 Mm-hmm.

00:08:17 I heard that.

00:08:18 I wish I didn't hear that, but I just heard that.

00:08:21 What's that supposed to mean?

00:08:22 I'm just wondering why, uh,

00:08:24 you don't date a nice guy your own age.

00:08:26 She's very mature for her age.

00:08:28 Yeah.

00:08:29 Hey, how's it going?

00:08:30 Hey.

00:08:31 Clark, how you doing, man?

00:08:32 What's up?

00:08:33 I'm-- I'm-- I'm good, bro.

00:08:34 I'm good.

00:08:35 All right.

00:08:36 Dude, I wanted to tell you,

00:08:37 you look hilarious today in drama class.

00:08:39 Seriously, your Jeff Goldblum impression

00:08:40 made me pee my pants.

00:08:41 Seriously.

00:08:42 I wish.

00:08:43 [laughs]

00:08:44 Oh, hey, uh, I-- I almost forgot.

00:08:46 Last week when we worked out,

00:08:47 you forgot your shorts in my car.

00:08:48 Oh, yeah.

00:08:49 Hey, here you go.

00:08:50 Thanks.

00:08:51 Yeah, no problem, no problem, no problem.

00:08:53 Can you hold this?

00:08:54 Yeah.

00:08:55 Yeah.

00:08:56 How's it going, Sporty Spice?

00:08:57 Oh, this is my boyfriend, Dale.

00:08:58 Hey, nice to meet you, man.

00:08:59 Yeah, you too.

00:09:00 Dude, I've heard so much about you.

00:09:01 You're real cool.

00:09:02 I've heard nothing about you.

00:09:03 I mean, you're great.

00:09:04 Yeah, awesome.

00:09:05 Yeah.

00:09:06 Dude, next year, next year, college, man.

00:09:07 College.

00:09:08 Yeah, dude, it's gonna be kick-ass.

00:09:09 I will watch your back for you,

00:09:10 'cause I know there's, like, tons of guys

00:09:12 that are gonna be trying to get on that shit, so.

00:09:14 Oh, good.

00:09:15 Because I'll got that--

00:09:16 Yeah.

00:09:17 Oh, you got her ass.

00:09:18 No, no, I mean, I--

00:09:19 I'll watch her ass for--

00:09:20 Good.

00:09:21 Um, I'll catch you, uh, at home ec.

00:09:23 All right.

00:09:24 Oh, you guys got home ec together, too.

00:09:25 That's cool.

00:09:26 Yeah, yeah, we got a few classes together.

00:09:27 Good.

00:09:28 Nice to meet you, man.

00:09:29 Time to suck today's dick.

00:09:30 That's what I'm talking about.

00:09:31 That's right.

00:09:32 I'll see you guys later, all right?

00:09:33 All right, Clark.

00:09:34 Clark's a great guy, man.

00:09:35 He's totally gonna take care of Angela, man.

00:09:37 He's great.

00:09:38 He's a wonderful lab partner, so it's gonna be cool.

00:09:40 He'll keep an eye on her.

00:09:41 Why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?

00:09:43 I'm a teacher, okay?

00:09:44 You can't talk to me like that, guy.

00:09:45 I'm not a student,

00:09:46 so I can say whatever the fuck I want,

00:09:47 you chimp-fucking little bastard.

00:09:49 Actually, you know--

00:09:50 Oh, well, okay, you've got T-minus 30 seconds

00:09:52 to get off school property,

00:09:53 or I call the police liaison officer.

00:09:55 We're leaving, actually.

00:09:56 29.

00:09:57 I'm sorry, you know what, thanks, we--

00:09:59 What's that guy's problem?

00:10:00 Jesus.

00:10:01 I have no--

00:10:02 No, he's--

00:10:03 He's really weird.

00:10:04 You know what, I'd love to have dinner with you

00:10:06 and your parents tomorrow night.

00:10:07 I'm gonna go.

00:10:08 I'll definitely go.

00:10:09 I'll shuffle some things around.

00:10:10 Really?

00:10:11 Yeah, I'll be there for sure, you know?

00:10:12 Really?

00:10:13 Yeah, I just--

00:10:14 I wanna show them you're in good hands.

00:10:15 Yeah, I mean, I got nothing to be embarrassed about.

00:10:17 Thank you, that means so much to me and my parents.

00:10:19 Oh, no problem.

00:10:20 Oh, it's gonna be awesome.

00:10:22 [phone ringing]

00:10:23 Hello?

00:10:24 Hey, Saul.

00:10:25 Mind if I come by?

00:10:27 Come on down.

00:10:28 Sweet, be there.

00:10:30 Hi, Mary.

00:10:31 Hi.

00:10:32 I thought the hurricane season was over.

00:10:34 I thought the hurricane season was over.

00:10:36 Oh, I'm sorry about things just got out of hand.

00:10:38 Yeah, that's the way it was at my first hospital.

00:10:41 [groaning]

00:10:42 [laughing]

00:10:44 Hello?

00:10:45 Hey, man.

00:10:46 What the fuck, man?

00:10:48 I didn't buzz you in.

00:10:49 How the monkey did you get in here?

00:10:50 Oh, shit, some guy with a faux hawk let me in, man.

00:10:52 He was leaving when I was--

00:10:54 Kyle, man?

00:10:55 It might have been Kyle.

00:10:56 He's an asshole.

00:10:57 I'm sorry, man.

00:10:58 What the fuck's the buzzer for anyway?

00:11:00 I don't know.

00:11:01 I'm sorry about that.

00:11:02 I don't know your protocol yet, I guess.

00:11:04 Stuff your sorries in a sec, bro.

00:11:05 It's not your fault.

00:11:06 OK.

00:11:07 It's these jerk-offs.

00:11:08 Have a seat.

00:11:09 OK, cool.

00:11:10 Thanks, man.

00:11:11 Awesome.

00:11:12 Yo, check this out.

00:11:13 Ah, satellite radio.

00:11:18 Whoa.

00:11:19 Got two TVs and radio.

00:11:21 That's pretty rad.

00:11:22 Nice home entertainment.

00:11:24 Very entertained.

00:11:25 Oh, wow, you got a cute picture, too.

00:11:27 Oh, yeah.

00:11:28 Hey, my bubby.

00:11:29 Hey, let me ask you something.

00:11:31 Yeah?

00:11:33 Do you think you could pull the plug on someone

00:11:35 if you needed to, like euthanasia?

00:11:38 Like on her?

00:11:43 If I needed to.

00:11:44 Um, kind of in a hurry, man.

00:11:51 I don't know if we should start going down that road.

00:11:54 I could talk all day about euthanasia.

00:11:56 You know, don't get me started.

00:11:57 Maybe we should just--

00:11:58 Save it.

00:11:59 We'll save it for next time.

00:12:00 I'll take that rain check, buddy.

00:12:01 We'll keep it going.

00:12:02 Business for the businessman.

00:12:03 Yeah, you got my number.

00:12:04 OK.

00:12:05 Cool.

00:12:06 Brasstacks.

00:12:07 Yes, yes.

00:12:08 Just got a shipment of the dopest dope I've ever smoked.

00:12:11 Hands down, dopest dope I've ever smoked.

00:12:13 It's not better than the blue oyster weed.

00:12:14 It can't be.

00:12:15 I can't handle better than that.

00:12:16 My friend, this is like if that blue oyster shit

00:12:19 met that Afghan kush I had, and they had a baby,

00:12:22 and then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light stuff I had

00:12:25 and the super red espresso snowflake met and had a baby,

00:12:29 and by some miracle, those two babies met and fucked,

00:12:33 this would be the shit that they burnt.

00:12:36 Wow.

00:12:37 Yes.

00:12:38 This is the product of baby fucking.

00:12:39 Smell it.

00:12:40 OK.

00:12:41 Smell it.

00:12:42 Enjoy.

00:12:43 It's like God's vagina.

00:12:46 Oh.

00:12:48 What, do you want to bathe in it?

00:12:49 I want to live in here.

00:12:50 Yes, you want to be it?

00:12:51 Oh, my God.

00:12:52 I just want to shove it up my nose

00:12:53 and have that smell all day.

00:12:54 That's amazing.

00:12:55 You can have it anywhere you like.

00:12:56 It's beautiful.

00:12:57 What's it called?

00:12:58 Pineapple Express.

00:12:59 Pineapple Express?

00:13:00 Yes.

00:13:01 It's this thing like El Nino, this airflow

00:13:03 that comes from Hawaii and Canada, and it gets the dirt,

00:13:06 mixes it in with the weed in a very special way.

00:13:08 It's actually very scientific.

00:13:10 I won't go into it right now, but I am the only guy

00:13:12 in the whole city that has it.

00:13:14 Only 10 bones more for a quarter.

00:13:16 OK.

00:13:17 I'll take a quarter.

00:13:18 All right, you're on.

00:13:19 Thank you very much.

00:13:20 Let me get my scale.

00:13:22 Get it going.

00:13:23 Grab the scale.

00:13:24 Let's get me out of here.

00:13:26 I thought hurricane season was over.

00:13:30 Oh, crow.

00:13:31 Ah, you little fucker.

00:13:39 What the fuck is this thing?

00:13:42 Ah, cross joint.

00:13:44 Yeah.

00:13:45 Never smoked one of those?

00:13:46 You can smoke this?

00:13:47 Yeah, man.

00:13:48 No.

00:13:49 This is the future.

00:13:51 This is like the apex of the vortex of joint engineering.

00:13:56 It's rumored that MMO Shaughnessy designed the first one,

00:13:59 the guy who designed the Golden Gate Bridge.

00:14:02 My second favorite civil engineer behind Hans Carl Bandel,

00:14:07 Madison Square Garden.

00:14:09 What you do is you light all three ends at the same time.

00:14:13 Really?

00:14:14 And then the smoke converges, creating a trifecta

00:14:18 of joint smoking power.

00:14:20 This is it, man.

00:14:21 This is what your grandchildren are going to be smoking.

00:14:24 Future.

00:14:25 That future.

00:14:26 That's amazing.

00:14:27 Well, got the weed in the bag.

00:14:30 Beautiful.

00:14:31 Okay.

00:14:32 Careful with that thing, man.

00:14:34 Here's the cash.

00:14:35 Grab the stash.

00:14:36 All righty, man, thanks.

00:14:37 Have a good one.

00:14:38 Don't hurt yourself.

00:14:39 Adios.

00:14:40 Hey, wait a minute, man.

00:14:42 Let's smoke this fucking thing.

00:14:44 I can't, man.

00:14:45 I got to--

00:14:46 I can't even light this thing on my own.

00:14:49 Yeah, I need your help, man.

00:14:52 I'm in.

00:14:53 Come on!

00:14:54 I'm in.

00:14:55 Why not?

00:14:56 Oh, yeah!

00:14:57 Yeah!

00:14:58 Why not?

00:14:59 What do I do?

00:15:00 Okay, here's what you do.

00:15:01 You equip yourself.

00:15:02 I'm equipping.

00:15:03 Equip me, sir.

00:15:04 Nice.

00:15:05 Okay.

00:15:06 You are going to light these two ends while I light this end.

00:15:09 Okay.

00:15:10 Are you ready?

00:15:11 Ready.

00:15:12 Blast off.

00:15:13 [coughing]

00:15:29 I'm going to do it.

00:15:30 Go for it.

00:15:31 [grunting]

00:15:43 It's better to cough.

00:15:45 It's like, makes you ten times more higher than the crossroads in the pineapple express, man.

00:15:51 You're like, totally fucking gong showed, man.

00:15:54 [coughing]

00:16:08 Hang on one second, man.

00:16:10 Oh, you fucker.

00:16:12 [grunting]

00:16:16 Who is it?

00:16:18 Hey, man, it's Chris Jaber, man.

00:16:19 Let me up.

00:16:21 What's a Jaber?

00:16:23 Come on up.

00:16:25 You're not getting any of that pineapple express.

00:16:28 Oh.

00:16:29 Chris is getting the snickle frits.

00:16:33 [coughing]

00:16:35 Hey.

00:16:36 [coughing]

00:16:37 So listen, man.

00:16:38 Oh.

00:16:39 I got to ask you.

00:16:40 So, listen, man, you've been buying from me for like two months, right?

00:16:45 Two months.

00:16:46 I got to ask, man.

00:16:48 What's up with the suit?

00:16:49 I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.

00:16:53 Wow.

00:16:54 You're a servant?

00:16:55 Like a butler?

00:16:57 Chauffeur?

00:16:58 No, no.

00:16:59 What?

00:17:00 No, I'm not like--

00:17:01 Shine shoes?

00:17:02 I'm a process server.

00:17:04 I like--

00:17:05 In process.

00:17:06 I work for a company that's like hired by lawyers to like hand out legal documents,

00:17:10 like subpoenas to people who don't want them, so I got to wear like disguises sometimes

00:17:14 just to make them admit that they're themselves so I can serve them the papers.

00:17:19 Disguise?

00:17:20 Kind of, I guess.

00:17:21 It's a hell of a job.

00:17:22 That's cool, man.

00:17:23 Like a day-to-day basis, it's fine.

00:17:25 Like today I like sat in my car, I smoked like ten doobies,

00:17:29 and then like went to go visit my girlfriend.

00:17:32 Nice.

00:17:33 [mimicking smoking]

00:17:34 What?

00:17:35 Yeah, it was bad ass.

00:17:36 You sucked on her titties?

00:17:37 No, I just kissed her.

00:17:38 I just did that to make it seem cool.

00:17:39 That's cool.

00:17:40 Does she like to smoke weed?

00:17:42 Um, a little sometimes.

00:17:44 She has a couple--she's in high school, so you know, as much as any high school kid,

00:17:48 she's cool as hell, actually.

00:17:50 You'd probably get along with her, I guess.

00:17:52 Yeah, you know, it only sucks when I go visit her in high school

00:17:56 and all the guys she goes to school with are like strong and like handsome

00:18:00 and really like funny, like do good impressions of Jeff Goldblum and shit like that,

00:18:04 and like I just feel like a fat, dumb, fucking stinky ass turd when I'm there.

00:18:09 What?

00:18:10 It really--it sucks for my ego.

00:18:11 Fuck Jeff Goldblum, man.

00:18:13 That's what I say.

00:18:14 You know, don't get down on yourself.

00:18:16 You got a great girl, you got a great job where you don't do anything,

00:18:19 you get to smoke weed all day.

00:18:22 I wish I had that.

00:18:23 You do.

00:18:25 You have the easiest job on earth.

00:18:27 You do smoke weed all day.

00:18:29 That's true.

00:18:30 You didn't think of that.

00:18:32 I do have a good job.

00:18:34 Yeah, you do nothing.

00:18:35 Thanks, man.

00:18:36 No problem.

00:18:37 Thank you.

00:18:38 Ah, shit.

00:18:39 All right.

00:18:40 Business.

00:18:43 Got my persona.

00:18:44 There you go.

00:18:45 Hey, put that cross joint out, man.

00:18:47 He sees that, he'll never get the fuck out of here.

00:18:49 Okay.

00:18:51 What's up, Chris?

00:18:52 Yo, hey, Sal.

00:18:53 Hey.

00:18:54 How you doing, buddy?

00:18:55 All right, home's good.

00:18:56 Who's this?

00:18:57 Hey.

00:18:58 Oh, this is my friend, Mark.

00:18:59 Got the dough?

00:19:00 There you go.

00:19:01 Appreciate it.

00:19:02 Nice.

00:19:03 Good to meet you, Mark.

00:19:04 Can we sell any Percocet, please?

00:19:05 Percocet?

00:19:06 What are you talking about, man?

00:19:07 I don't sell that shit.

00:19:08 Chris.

00:19:09 You told him I was gonna sell Percocet?

00:19:10 Don't say anything about Percocet.

00:19:11 What the fuck, man?

00:19:12 What the fuck?

00:19:13 Man, I just wanted a cup of Percocet.

00:19:14 Well, I came to the wrong place, my friend.

00:19:17 Wrong place.

00:19:18 Yeah, nice.

00:19:19 Peace out, homes.

00:19:20 Thank you.

00:19:21 God.

00:19:22 What the fuck?

00:19:23 Really?

00:19:24 Fucking lingerer, man.

00:19:25 Yeah, totally.

00:19:26 Linger.

00:19:27 Hardcore.

00:19:28 Fuck.

00:19:29 He bums me out.

00:19:30 Bums me out, too.

00:19:31 If there's one quality I hate in a person, it's lingering.

00:19:35 That's right.

00:19:36 You and me both.

00:19:37 Yeah, yeah.

00:19:38 Hey, so I'm curious.

00:19:39 What have those people done that you go and process and service?

00:19:44 Um, I don't know.

00:19:45 It's always something different, I guess.

00:19:47 This guy, Ted Jones.

00:19:49 Who knows?

00:19:50 You know, it could be...

00:19:51 Ted Jones?

00:19:52 Yeah, why?

00:19:53 My guy, Red, who I buy from, he gets his stuff from a Ted Jones.

00:19:57 Really?

00:19:58 Maybe it's the same guy.

00:19:59 That'd be weird.

00:20:00 It's a pretty normal name, I guess.

00:20:02 But anyway, I should really get going, man.

00:20:06 I gotta go.

00:20:08 Duty calls.

00:20:09 But it's good to see you.

00:20:10 Thanks.

00:20:11 You're gonna smoke and run?

00:20:12 Come on, man.

00:20:13 We can go look at some crazy things on the internet together.

00:20:16 That sounds appealing, but I think I should probably just get going.

00:20:20 Oh, that sucks.

00:20:21 Well, that's cool, man.

00:20:22 Well, what are you doing this weekend?

00:20:24 'Cause my Bubby's got season tickets to the opera, and she can't make it.

00:20:28 So you wanna go see Phantom?

00:20:30 Of the opera?

00:20:31 Yeah.

00:20:32 Um...

00:20:34 I can't this weekend.

00:20:35 But you know what?

00:20:36 I'll tell you--here, you know, I'm gonna run out of weed in a couple days.

00:20:39 I'll just come by, we'll hang out, we'll watch 227 and shit.

00:20:42 Oh, definitely.

00:20:43 Cool, man.

00:20:44 All right, man.

00:20:45 Well, thanks.

00:20:46 Good to see you, man.

00:20:47 All right, peace, brother.

00:20:48 Okay, yeah.

00:20:49 One love.

00:20:50 When you got behind on the mortgage, I guess someone finally made you one.

00:20:52 Yes, he did.

00:20:54 Yes, he did.

00:20:55 What was the interest rate you got?

00:20:57 It was $12.13.

00:20:59 That's disgusting.

00:21:02 [phone ringing]

00:21:04 Hello?

00:21:11 Hello?

00:21:12 Hey, Angie, what's happening?

00:21:14 Hey, I just talked to my mom, and they were so excited that you're coming for dinner.

00:21:18 I mean, like, so excited.

00:21:19 I'm so am I, but we're all really excited.

00:21:21 Thank you so much.

00:21:22 No problem.

00:21:23 I'm psyched, too.

00:21:24 It's gonna be awesome.

00:21:25 Coose coose.

00:21:26 The food's so nice, they named it twice.

00:21:29 [laughs] Um, Dale, anyway, look, I can't wait for next year when this bullshit is over.

00:21:34 I mean, when I have the--

00:21:35 Oh, shit, I see the guy got a servo.

00:21:36 Call you back.

00:21:37 Fucking cops.

00:21:38 Shit.

00:21:39 Jesus.

00:21:47 What an adorable little cop.

00:21:54 Weird.

00:21:57 Weird.

00:21:58 Jesus fuck.

00:22:05 What the fuck was that?

00:22:07 Oh, shit.

00:22:08 Dude.

00:22:10 Dude.

00:22:11 Dude.

00:22:12 Dude.

00:22:13 Oh, no!

00:22:14 [coughing]

00:22:15 Shit.

00:22:20 [coughing]

00:22:25 Who the fuck is that?

00:22:27 I don't know, but I ain't waiting to see.

00:22:29 We're trapped!

00:22:39 [screaming]

00:22:41 [police sirens]

00:22:44 [police sirens]

00:22:46 Pineapple Express.

00:23:02 Oh, my God!

00:23:04 Oh, my God!

00:23:05 Oh, my God!

00:23:06 I saw brains!

00:23:07 Head blood!

00:23:08 Get them!

00:23:09 Get them!

00:23:10 Get them!

00:23:11 Where do I go?

00:23:12 [phone ringing]

00:23:14 Hello?

00:23:28 Salt, it's Dale.

00:23:29 Let me in, let me in, let me in!

00:23:30 I just saw some crazy shit, man.

00:23:31 Let me in, please, for the love of God, let me in!

00:23:33 It's Dale, man, let me in!

00:23:34 Dale?

00:23:35 Yes, Dale, that's right, I said it's Dale!

00:23:37 Dale, let me in!

00:23:38 Oh, all right, man.

00:23:39 Come on up.

00:23:40 [door buzzer]

00:23:41 [door slam]

00:23:42 [door buzzer]

00:23:43 I buzzed it.

00:23:45 Open the door when I buzz it.

00:23:46 Buzz it in three seconds, exactly.

00:23:48 One, two--

00:23:50 [door buzzer]

00:23:51 Did it work?

00:23:52 On three!

00:23:53 I did it on three.

00:23:54 On one, two, three, go?

00:23:56 Just on three.

00:23:57 [door buzzer]

00:24:01 [dramatic music]

00:24:03 He fucking killed him, man!

00:24:09 He fucking killed him, man!

00:24:10 He fucking killed him!

00:24:11 What?

00:24:12 Who killed who?

00:24:13 A cop!

00:24:14 A lady and a guy!

00:24:15 A cop, a lady, and a guy?

00:24:16 Man, that's like a massacre.

00:24:17 You saw it?

00:24:18 No, it was just a guy!

00:24:20 What happened to the lady?

00:24:21 No, no!

00:24:22 A woman, a police woman, and a guy, another guy,

00:24:26 shot another guy, an Asian guy, in the window

00:24:29 at fucking Ted's house!

00:24:30 Wow, was the other guy Ted?

00:24:32 I don't know, he was a big, gray-haired man,

00:24:34 and he had a robe, and he fucking took a gun,

00:24:36 and he shot him, and his brain fucking flew everywhere!

00:24:38 I'm gonna be, I'm gonna throw up.

00:24:40 What?

00:24:41 [grunts]

00:24:42 Oh, chicken fries!

00:24:44 Sick!

00:24:45 You threw up in my printer.

00:24:46 I did.

00:24:47 Did you break it?

00:24:48 I hope not.

00:24:49 Listen, man, I think the guy was Ted,

00:24:52 and the Asians are number two in town,

00:24:53 so you saw Ted capping the competition.

00:24:56 They saw me, they saw me see them shoot the guy.

00:24:58 What?

00:24:59 They saw you, and you fucking came here?

00:25:01 No, no!

00:25:02 Did they follow you here?

00:25:03 I don't know!

00:25:04 Did they follow you here?

00:25:05 I don't know!

00:25:06 Look, look!

00:25:07 Here's what happened.

00:25:08 I saw him kill him.

00:25:10 I freaked out.

00:25:12 I panicked, okay?

00:25:13 I tossed my rope.

00:25:15 I crashed into two cars.

00:25:18 So they would have heard, they must have heard.

00:25:20 They know someone was out there.

00:25:21 They know someone saw.

00:25:23 They know someone.

00:25:24 They don't know it was you.

00:25:25 Right?

00:25:27 I don't, I mean, I don't know.

00:25:30 Yes.

00:25:31 I hope not.

00:25:32 Relax.

00:25:33 Just sit back, get ready to enjoy some of the rarest weed

00:25:36 known to mankind.

00:25:41 Is it really that rare?

00:25:43 It's like the rarest.

00:25:46 It's almost a shame to smoke it.

00:25:48 It's like killing a unicorn with like a bomb.

00:25:55 Are you the only guy in town who has this?

00:25:58 You're actually the only guy?

00:26:00 Yeah, my guy Red said he was giving me

00:26:02 an exclusive sneak preview.

00:26:04 And am I the only guy who you sold it to?

00:26:06 The other guy's got snickle frits?

00:26:07 Yeah, so we're like the only guys.

00:26:10 And Red got this from Ted?

00:26:12 Ted's the man.

00:26:14 Let's get the fuck out of here, man.

00:26:16 Go, go, let's go, let's go, go.

00:26:18 Because I threw a roach at this house,

00:26:20 Tiny Ted's house.

00:26:21 So what, man, I throw roaches all over the fucking town.

00:26:23 No, no, no, he could find the roach and say,

00:26:25 "It's Pineapple Express in here."

00:26:26 So he's the only guy who has Pineapple Express.

00:26:28 He must have seen the murderer, no?

00:26:30 Let's fucking kill him.

00:26:31 Let's get out of here.

00:26:32 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:26:34 Get weed, get the weed.

00:26:35 Get anything you might need.

00:26:36 Snacks, food, fruit roll-ups.

00:26:38 Let's get the fuck out of here.

00:26:40 Okay, okay.

00:26:41 [intense music]

00:26:44 ♪ ♪

00:26:52 [gunshot]

00:26:53 [intense music]

00:26:56 ♪ ♪

00:27:00 Red said he'd be here.

00:27:03 Yeah!

00:27:05 Mmm, that was some drugs.

00:27:12 Smells like vomit in this house.

00:27:16 Wanna hit, man? Still lit.

00:27:18 I'm having dinner with my wife.

00:27:19 She can always tell.

00:27:20 Smell it on my sweater.

00:27:22 For real?

00:27:24 Yeah, for real.

00:27:25 Wanna wear my vest?

00:27:27 It smell good.

00:27:28 Not my style.

00:27:29 You ain't got no style, motherfucker.

00:27:31 You have reached the voicemail box of...

00:27:34 Ted?

00:27:35 Ted, it's Bud Lofsky.

00:27:36 We're here. Saul's gone.

00:27:37 And Mathes--

00:27:38 [coughs]

00:27:40 And Matheson.

00:27:41 Yeah, I think he knew we were coming.

00:27:43 They not here, Ted.

00:27:44 Hi, Ted.

00:27:46 Okay, what do you know about Ted?

00:27:48 Um, I think he's, like, crazy about murdering.

00:27:51 Jesus, man.

00:27:52 Well, how much money do you have?

00:27:53 I just--I have, like, the 75 that you gave me.

00:27:56 That's it?

00:27:57 How much do you have?

00:27:58 Three bucks.

00:27:59 Well, what the fuck are you getting on my case for, man?

00:28:01 I have more than you.

00:28:02 Well, that's my 75, technically,

00:28:03 so I have $78, even if nothing.

00:28:05 I don't know.

00:28:06 Let's just go--let's go to a motel or, like,

00:28:08 a hotel or a hotel in Indiana and get some hideout.

00:28:10 No, no, no, no, no.

00:28:11 The police ran out.

00:28:12 They could have flagged our credit cards.

00:28:13 No, no, no, no, no.

00:28:14 They'll find us.

00:28:15 Shit.

00:28:16 I wish we could just go nowhere.

00:28:18 Okay, even if you found that roach,

00:28:24 how could he know where you are?

00:28:27 Um, he's seeking missiles, um, bloodhounds,

00:28:34 foxes, barracudas.

00:28:38 I'm just--I'm kind of flabbergasted

00:28:40 when you say things like that.

00:28:41 It's weird.

00:28:42 Thank you.

00:28:43 Not a compliment.

00:28:44 Here's the question.

00:28:45 Let's say he actually found the roach.

00:28:47 How could he--how could he connect

00:28:48 the pineapple express weed to you?

00:28:51 He can't, man.

00:28:53 Only fucking red nose.

00:28:55 Only red nose, man.

00:28:57 Who is red?

00:28:59 Red's like the middle man between, like, Ted and me.

00:29:03 We're, like, mad fucking tight, man.

00:29:05 One time he got this girl,

00:29:07 gave me a hand job, like, within five minutes of meeting her.

00:29:11 I was like, "I don't even know your name."

00:29:14 Whoa.

00:29:16 That is pretty rad, but, like, let's say Ted calls him

00:29:20 and is like, "Hey, did you sell the pineapple express to anyone?"

00:29:23 He'll be like, "Yeah, so-and-so."

00:29:24 'Cause why wouldn't he, you know?

00:29:26 No. Oh, no.

00:29:27 Fuck that, man.

00:29:29 Fucking hand job, Dale.

00:29:30 I mean, imagine if I gave you a hand job.

00:29:32 Why would I want to do that?

00:29:34 I mean, like, if I got you a hand job.

00:29:36 Yeah, but the same rules don't apply to red.

00:29:38 He's a drug dealer.

00:29:41 I'm a drug dealer.

00:29:42 What, are you saying you don't trust me?

00:29:45 No, that's not at all what I'm--

00:29:47 You know what?

00:29:48 That's--you know, just ignore what I said.

00:29:51 Call him, give him the call, see what the dealio is.

00:29:54 [phone ringing]

00:29:56 Ow!

00:29:57 Hello?

00:29:58 Hey, red, you okay?

00:29:59 Yeah, yeah, it's solved.

00:30:00 Yeah, I'm fine, man.

00:30:01 I just stubbed my toe.

00:30:03 Oh, well, be careful, man.

00:30:04 Be careful.

00:30:05 Wear shoes in the house.

00:30:06 Safety.

00:30:07 Safety first, then teamwork.

00:30:08 Now, listen, you know that pineapple express stuff you gave me?

00:30:11 Don't tell anybody that you sold it to me.

00:30:14 I would never talk to anyone about your--

00:30:16 the stuff that I do with you involving drugs.

00:30:20 All right, cool, now listen, I'm gonna come by.

00:30:23 I gotta lay some shit on you.

00:30:25 There is a fly in the ointment.

00:30:27 Shit, it's hit the fan.

00:30:28 The lion will speak.

00:30:29 No, no, no, no.

00:30:30 I'm in the middle of a convo.

00:30:31 Please.

00:30:32 No, seriously.

00:30:33 Listen, we're gonna be over there in like half an hour.

00:30:34 Perfect.

00:30:35 No, please, no, no, no, no, no.

00:30:36 Let's just go over there and chill out, man.

00:30:38 No, man, come on, can we go tomorrow?

00:30:39 Look, we're already here.

00:30:40 I have somebody else.

00:30:41 There's somebody else on the phone with him.

00:30:43 Who's he talking to?

00:30:44 I don't know.

00:30:45 He's whispering to another man.

00:30:46 We'll go in the morning.

00:30:47 It's better that way.

00:30:50 Yes, yes, thank you, yes.

00:30:53 Hey, so you're coming by tomorrow?

00:30:55 How'd you know that?

00:30:56 Yeah, I just heard you whispering to that other guy

00:30:58 that you're talking to.

00:30:59 Who is that?

00:31:00 Oh.

00:31:01 Right, Dale, good job.

00:31:02 Listen, I can't go in the morning 'cause my bubby,

00:31:04 I gotta change o'clock, daylight savings.

00:31:06 Yeah, is that the bubby that's on 41st and River Street,

00:31:09 the one where we played that shuffleboard that one time?

00:31:11 You got it.

00:31:12 So listen, we'll be chilling by noon, all right?

00:31:14 Uh, noon it is, gromo-sexual.

00:31:17 Hey, we should hit up the casino again, man.

00:31:19 It's been a while.

00:31:20 Okay, yeah, we'll definitely hit the casino up.

00:31:23 Definitely.

00:31:24 All right, peace, brother.

00:31:26 Oh, where is he?

00:31:28 I don't know, man.

00:31:29 Why did he mention the casino?

00:31:30 I don't know, man.

00:31:31 He's just gonna call one of my good friends

00:31:32 and send him into a boom trap and lie to him.

00:31:34 It's all Asian.

00:31:35 Making me his shitty partner.

00:31:37 Is he Asian?

00:31:38 No, he's not Asian.

00:31:39 He's a white guy.

00:31:40 I'm not lying, man.

00:31:41 I'm not lying.

00:31:42 You're lying.

00:31:43 You got a slot machine in the background or something?

00:31:44 Man, I don't know where he is.

00:31:45 You tell me where he is.

00:31:46 You should have called my friends.

00:31:47 You tell me where he is, because in 45 minutes,

00:31:48 I gotta go have dinner with my wife.

00:31:50 I got a reservation at noon.

00:31:51 45 minutes, man?

00:31:52 That's a dinner reservation.

00:31:53 You're gonna have to miss, motherfucker.

00:31:54 No, that's a dinner reservation I'm gonna make, man.

00:31:56 I don't think so.

00:31:57 'Cause if he doesn't start--

00:31:58 Look, can you do this one solo?

00:32:00 I can't do this solo.

00:32:01 Are you crazy?

00:32:02 What are you talking about, you can't do--

00:32:04 What, you trying to abandon me?

00:32:05 Oh, man, what, you want me to--

00:32:06 This is teamwork.

00:32:07 This is a partnership.

00:32:08 We are in this together.

00:32:09 You want me to stay?

00:32:10 Yes.

00:32:11 Fine, I'll stay.

00:32:12 Thank you.

00:32:13 You happy now?

00:32:14 Yes.

00:32:15 I mean, there's like no way that we can just

00:32:16 pause for a minute, you guys just go home and do your stuff,

00:32:18 and then tomorrow we can just like continue.

00:32:21 I should call Angie soon.

00:32:28 Make up some bullshit.

00:32:31 I'm cold.

00:32:33 You're cold?

00:32:34 Oh, I'm not cold at all.

00:32:35 Here, I run hot.

00:32:37 Really?

00:32:38 Yeah.

00:32:39 Got more body--

00:32:40 Thick blood.

00:32:41 Yeah, no, take it.

00:32:42 Thanks.

00:32:43 I don't appreciate that, but it's okay.

00:32:46 I'm calling Angie.

00:32:48 Hmm, space.

00:32:56 Dale, wait, wait.

00:33:00 What, what, what?

00:33:01 The phones, the phones.

00:33:03 You said they were cops, right?

00:33:05 They are cops, yeah, yeah.

00:33:06 So I'm just thinking, like, maybe they can triangulate these things, man,

00:33:09 or like, you know, like trace them, right?

00:33:11 They totally, that's how they got Saddam.

00:33:13 Right.

00:33:14 Fuck, you're right, man.

00:33:15 Well, maybe they can like even trace them like when we're not even on them.

00:33:19 You know, maybe--

00:33:20 Maybe if we bury them under the dirt, their reception will get cut off

00:33:22 and they won't be able to do it.

00:33:23 It'd be great if we could like tie it to an animal and like be like diversion.

00:33:26 Distraction will never catch an animal.

00:33:27 The squirrels--

00:33:28 Like the squirrels would be up in the tree and they'd think we were in the tree.

00:33:30 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:33:31 We'll build a hot air balloon and--

00:33:33 No, we'll smash them.

00:33:35 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:36 I'm going to smash it on a rock.

00:33:37 Okay, good idea.

00:33:38 Right here.

00:33:39 Yes, good thinking.

00:33:40 Yeah, get it.

00:33:41 Yes.

00:33:42 Whoa, what the fuck was that?

00:33:46 I was trying to hit that tree.

00:33:47 I missed.

00:33:48 What tree?

00:33:49 That one.

00:33:50 Why didn't you smash it on a rock like a normal person, like I did?

00:33:53 I don't know.

00:33:54 How often did somebody smash things?

00:33:55 I'm rusty.

00:33:56 Man, did you at least see where it landed?

00:33:57 I don't know.

00:33:58 Just call it.

00:34:00 Call it with what?

00:34:01 My phone has been smashed.

00:34:03 Whoa.

00:34:05 You know what, I bet they can't even triangulate those things.

00:34:07 They shouldn't have said anything, because now you convinced me they can.

00:34:09 You were very convincing back then.

00:34:11 Hey, fine.

00:34:12 Go find it.

00:34:13 Fuck.

00:34:14 Do you see it?

00:34:15 See what?

00:34:16 The phone, you idiot.

00:34:18 Why are we here?

00:34:19 This place is so fucking scary.

00:34:21 If I had an idea, you didn't have any ideas.

00:34:23 Shut up.

00:34:24 That's not true.

00:34:25 I had two ideas.

00:34:26 No where in Quiznos.

00:34:27 Shh.

00:34:28 What?

00:34:29 What was that?

00:34:30 What?

00:34:31 What is that?

00:34:32 Something's just a shot.

00:34:33 What?

00:34:34 What?

00:34:35 I heard a shot.

00:34:36 Did you hear that?

00:34:37 Dude, I literally heard nothing.

00:34:38 Oh fuck!

00:34:39 What are you doing?

00:34:40 Where are you going?

00:34:41 Where are you running from?

00:34:42 Return to me now!

00:34:43 Ah!

00:34:44 No, no.

00:34:45 Help me!

00:34:46 Ah!

00:34:47 Please help me!

00:34:48 You're wasting me!

00:34:49 I'm scared of this darkness!

00:34:50 I surrender!

00:34:51 Go away, go away!

00:34:52 I'm almost!

00:34:53 Ah!

00:34:54 This isn't funny anymore!

00:34:55 Get down!

00:34:56 Fall back!

00:34:57 Save me!

00:34:58 You're not going to save me!

00:34:59 I'm going to save you!

00:35:00 I'm going to save you!

00:35:01 Oh

00:35:03 Oh

00:35:05 Oh

00:35:07 Oh

00:35:09 Oh

00:35:11, oh

00:35:13 Oh

00:35:15 Oh

00:35:17 Oh

00:35:19 Shut up man shush what was that heard something then I saw something you didn't hear anything man

00:35:44 I saw something

00:35:46 And you're telling me that guy in the little short shorts broke your nose right that be dazzler guy

00:35:57 tough man

00:36:00 Oh

00:36:02 Watch finally broke

00:36:28 Crazy what time is it? I?

00:36:30 Can't be right

00:36:36 Couldn't be three in the morning. It's three o'clock right now

00:36:39 Holy shit, man. We were supposed to be your reds at noon man. What if he's gone?

00:36:44 What if we don't get any information no it's daylight saving so so it's only two o'clock. No. I went for an hour

00:36:50 It's for a fucking clock fuck me. No man. That's bad

00:36:56 Shit, we slept like 18 hours Bobby

00:36:59 Bobby's gonna be so pissed shit. We gotta call red

00:37:04 Okay, how?

00:37:06 We'll go to a payphone

00:37:09 No, I can't numbers in my phone

00:37:12 Great, okay. Well. Do you remember where he lives? Yeah? I know where he lives. Yeah, I'm insinuating like I'm forgetful

00:37:18 Insinuating good. Oh that you know what that means I do know what it means believe it or not

00:37:23 to seem like

00:37:26 a

00:37:28 Roll man, I'm done with the woods. Let's go come on. Let's get the fuck out of here. Okay. Let's go

00:37:33 No, it's not working the batteries dead

00:37:36 wait

00:37:38 What do you mean, it's dead what do I mean the path I mean the batteries dead we like the batteries dead

00:37:44 How can I explain this to you differently the battery is dead it ceased to live?

00:37:51 It's deceased now the car needs a battery to start solve

00:37:55 Well we clearly fell asleep with the battery on and

00:38:01 Yes talk radio so boring man, okay, okay the car just committed suicide

00:38:08 I have an idea now. We're gonna go

00:38:12 We'll walk back to the road. We'll hitchhike

00:38:15 Someone will pick us up that guy will take us to Red's red will tell us that everything's fine and everything will go back to normal

00:38:20 How did that sound that sound good?

00:38:22 That's a good idea keep our heads on straight man. If we just keep thinking like this. We're fucking gravy all right. I'm in

00:38:28 Let's do it

00:38:30 in my jacket back please. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thanks for taking care of it.

00:38:44 *music*

00:38:46 *music*

00:38:48 *music*

00:38:50 *music*

00:38:52 (gentle music)

00:38:55 (birds chirping)

00:38:57 (gentle music)

00:39:26 - Hey look, it's like my thumb is my cock.

00:39:28 - That's not gonna get us a ride, man.

00:39:33 (upbeat music)

00:39:37 - Gear's good.

00:39:42 Thanks for the smooth sailing, Sheree.

00:39:50 (engine rumbling)

00:39:53 - You sure we can trust this guy?

00:39:58 - Yo, Red!

00:39:59 Who is it?

00:40:01 - It's Bruce.

00:40:03 - Bruce?

00:40:04 - Who the fuck is this?

00:40:05 So, what's up?

00:40:06 - You're picking at him, bro.

00:40:08 - Who's this?

00:40:10 - I'm Dale, Mr. Red.

00:40:11 Nice to meet you.

00:40:12 - Dale who?

00:40:13 - You know, it's probably best if you don't know my full name.

00:40:15 - Dale Denton, don't worry, he's with me in Canada.

00:40:16 - Dale Denton, nice to meet you, bro.

00:40:19 Hold on, let me get this lock, okay?

00:40:20 - You better.

00:40:22 - Get in here.

00:40:23 - Coming in.

00:40:25 - Y'all wanna buy some drugs?

00:40:26 - Frisk me.

00:40:27 - Yeah, what's up, what's up, what's up?

00:40:28 Give it, give it.

00:40:29 Oh, look at that, huh?

00:40:31 (laughing)

00:40:32 What's up, players?

00:40:34 I've been up in here trying to get a motherfucker scholarship.

00:40:38 Chilling.

00:40:40 What's up with the clothes?

00:40:42 - Oh, we were camping.

00:40:45 - Camping?

00:40:46 - Yeah.

00:40:46 - Is your lip okay, man?

00:40:49 You been crying?

00:40:50 - Oh my, my lip.

00:40:51 It's a cold sore.

00:40:54 Never had one before, so I started to cry.

00:40:56 I think it's just like a lot worse than it looks, though.

00:41:00 It's like a simple kind of--

00:41:02 - Does that mean fucking herpes?

00:41:04 - Yeah, yeah, yes it does.

00:41:06 - For fuck's sake, man.

00:41:08 You know how many joints we've shared?

00:41:09 - I know, I'm a disgusting person.

00:41:11 - Oh, herpes is for life, bro.

00:41:13 - Yeah, well I'm gonna try to definitely

00:41:14 put some sort of medical ointment on it.

00:41:17 I've been taking Vicodin, that doesn't really

00:41:18 take the swine down, though.

00:41:19 - It's from that time I told you, man.

00:41:21 You wanted to eat that lollipop out of that stripper's neck.

00:41:24 You wanted to do it.

00:41:25 - Out of her vagina, I know.

00:41:27 Remember what you did?

00:41:27 What'd you do?

00:41:28 - Nothing.

00:41:29 - You ate a box of Nerds out of a butthole.

00:41:30 - Oh, you fucking said you wouldn't tell.

00:41:33 You sowed your own poison, man.

00:41:35 - Dudes, seriously, we're here for a reason.

00:41:37 Just ask him.

00:41:38 - Chill, dude, chill.

00:41:39 I'm boiling some eggs over here.

00:41:40 - That's great.

00:41:41 - We got a lot of time to hang out.

00:41:43 I'm making a fucking cake.

00:41:44 - No shit.

00:41:45 - Just ask him, man.

00:41:46 What are you doing?

00:41:47 Don't ask for a piece.

00:41:47 - I can't have a piece of that?

00:41:49 - No, you can't have a piece.

00:41:49 This is private.

00:41:50 Do you know what today is?

00:41:52 - Tuesday.

00:41:53 - This is my cat's birthday, today.

00:41:55 - I don't see a cat in here.

00:41:56 I'm sorry.

00:41:57 We let it out by accident?

00:41:58 - No, because he died three months ago, okay?

00:42:00 So now who's the funny guy?

00:42:02 - Sorry. - All right?

00:42:03 Today is his birthday, and it is a tradition

00:42:06 that on his birthday, I'd get up extra early

00:42:09 and make him his favorite kind of dessert.

00:42:12 - Don't worry, bro, your cat's going to heaven.

00:42:14 - Yeah, maybe.

00:42:15 Maybe he went to heaven.

00:42:16 He was a little fucker.

00:42:17 He could have gone to hell.

00:42:18 - Why don't we talk, guys?

00:42:19 Ask him, just ask him, okay?

00:42:21 Seriously. - Ask what?

00:42:22 Just come straight.

00:42:23 What's up?

00:42:24 - Yeah, right. - Laying on him, man.

00:42:25 - What's going on right now?

00:42:27 We need to know about your source, Ted Jones.

00:42:31 See, Dale here is a protest servant, and--

00:42:35 - No, I'm not.

00:42:36 That's not what I am.

00:42:37 - Oh, he's not that, but he was outside Ted's house--

00:42:39 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:42:41 Look, we don't want to bring you in to what we're in, okay?

00:42:45 You don't want any trouble.

00:42:47 We don't want to give you trouble,

00:42:48 so it's probably best you don't know the whole story, okay?

00:42:51 - You don't think I can handle danger?

00:42:52 - What are you talking about?

00:42:54 - You can.

00:42:55 - I totally can.

00:42:56 And for you to come into my house and not tell secrets

00:42:59 because you think you're saving me,

00:43:01 well, in reality, it just makes you look like a dumbass,

00:43:04 okay, 'cause look at this.

00:43:05 See this?

00:43:06 You see that?

00:43:07 There's no hair under here, bro, okay?

00:43:09 - What's the significance of that?

00:43:10 - It makes me aerodynamic when I fight.

00:43:12 I can take danger.

00:43:13 - Okay, has anyone called asking about Saul

00:43:16 or the pineapple express or anything?

00:43:17 That's all we need to know.

00:43:19 - Uh-uh.

00:43:20 - Mm-mm.

00:43:21 - Uh-uh.

00:43:22 - Uh-uh.

00:43:23 - Is it uh-huh or uh-uh?

00:43:24 - It's uh-uh.

00:43:25 - There it is, man.

00:43:26 Cleared.

00:43:28 Over.

00:43:29 Everything's fine, I told you, bro.

00:43:32 We had a wacky night in the woods,

00:43:34 but we both can put that behind us like adults.

00:43:36 Now it's time to get super duper high.

00:43:38 - You got that bong I got you in Tel Aviv?

00:43:40 - Bar mitzvah, hit it up, dude.

00:43:42 - Yes.

00:43:43 - There you go.

00:43:45 Why don't you follow his lead and just chill out, man?

00:43:48 - I'm chill, I'm chill as a cucumber, man.

00:43:50 - You don't seem chill.

00:43:51 - More chill than you.

00:43:53 - You're more chill than me.

00:43:54 - Yeah.

00:43:54 - Look what I'm wearing.

00:43:55 Come on now, dog.

00:43:56 What are you wearing?

00:43:57 - A suit.

00:43:58 - Yeah, exactly.

00:43:59 I don't know what's up with you,

00:44:00 but I don't know if I like you.

00:44:02 - Well, I don't know if I like you either, man.

00:44:04 - Well, that's your loss because I'm a great friend.

00:44:07 I'm gonna use the telephono to call my wife, okay?

00:44:10 - Give her a call.

00:44:11 - I will.

00:44:11 - Go ahead.

00:44:12 - Sit on my couch, my chill-astic couch, and chill out.

00:44:15 - Okay, I'm chilling right here.

00:44:17 - Don't listen to what I'm saying on my phone.

00:44:18 This is private, okay?

00:44:19 - I'm listening.

00:44:20 - This is me and my wife.

00:44:21 - I'm listening.

00:44:21 - I'm not trying to be enemies.

00:44:22 I don't wanna be enemies.

00:44:23 - I don't wanna be, I wanna be friends.

00:44:24 - Well, then good.

00:44:25 Come here. - I wanna be best friends.

00:44:26 - Come here, shake my fucking hand.

00:44:28 - Shake my, okay.

00:44:29 - See, we can be friends.

00:44:30 - I'm feeling it.

00:44:31 - Okay, you feel that?

00:44:32 - We can be best friends.

00:44:33 - I'm looking through you, man.

00:44:34 Just know that.

00:44:35 - And I'm looking through you, too.

00:44:36 - We're not the same.

00:44:37 - And I see that I need to paint

00:44:37 the fucking spot on the wall behind you.

00:44:39 - I'm looking through you.

00:44:40 - There you go, transparent.

00:44:41 I see your intentions.

00:44:42 - I see your intentions.

00:44:43 I see your intestines and your intentions.

00:44:45 - What'd I have for dinner last night?

00:44:47 - Cake.

00:44:47 - I'll be right back.

00:44:49 I'm at this phone call.

00:44:50 - Bullshit!

00:44:54 No, no, no!

00:44:57 Liar!

00:44:58 - What are you doing, man?

00:44:58 - He's a liar!

00:44:59 He's lying to us, man!

00:45:00 He's lying to us!

00:45:01 - No, he's not!

00:45:02 He knows my name!

00:45:03 He knows my name!

00:45:03 He's acting weird!

00:45:04 - Talk to the boy!

00:45:05 - We can't let him phone anyone, man!

00:45:06 - No, you're freaking out, man!

00:45:07 You're paranoid!

00:45:08 Give me back the phone!

00:45:08 - I do not trust you, sir!

00:45:10 - You're paranoid!

00:45:11 - He's acting weird, I'm not!

00:45:12 - Brett, I'm sorry, bro.

00:45:14 - Oh, Jesus!

00:45:15 - Holy cocks!

00:45:16 - Fuck you!

00:45:17 - What are you doing, man?

00:45:18 He's sorry!

00:45:19 (thudding)

00:45:20 - Oh, Jesus!

00:45:21 (thudding)

00:45:22 - Oh!

00:45:22 (thudding)

00:45:23 - Herpes!

00:45:24 (thudding)

00:45:25 - I don't wanna have to do this, man!

00:45:27 - Ow, Brett, you're crazy, man!

00:45:29 - I'm the devil in my house!

00:45:30 - We're friends!

00:45:31 - I know we are!

00:45:32 That's why it sucks!

00:45:33 - Are you on that mad shit again?

00:45:35 (thudding)

00:45:36 - Brett!

00:45:36 - Get out, he's hurting me!

00:45:38 - Let me do my job!

00:45:39 - Toilet!

00:45:40 (thudding)

00:45:41 - Oh, shit!

00:45:42 - What we do in this life echoes in eternity!

00:45:45 (groaning)

00:45:46 - Jules!

00:45:47 (groaning)

00:45:49 (screaming)

00:45:51 - Hold him, snap him!

00:45:55 (screaming)

00:45:56 (thudding)

00:45:57 (groaning)

00:45:58 (groaning)

00:46:00 - He's going for the phone!

00:46:02 - To call Ted!

00:46:03 (groaning)

00:46:05 - Stay out of here!

00:46:06 (thudding)

00:46:08 (groaning)

00:46:09 (thudding)

00:46:10 - Brett, don't do it!

00:46:11 (thudding)

00:46:14 - Brett!

00:46:15 - You assholes, you ruined my portable phone!

00:46:18 - Teamwork!

00:46:18 - Yes!

00:46:19 (thudding)

00:46:20 - Uno, dos, tres!

00:46:21 - You gotta break the door!

00:46:22 Are you gonna pay for it?

00:46:23 (groaning)

00:46:24 (thudding)

00:46:25 (groaning)

00:46:27 - No, fuck!

00:46:28 - Phone!

00:46:29 (groaning)

00:46:31 - What the hell, Brett?

00:46:32 (groaning)

00:46:33 - No, let go, let go!

00:46:34 - What the hell's going on?

00:46:34 (thudding)

00:46:35 - Don't let this guy get in the door for me, okay?

00:46:38 - Tell us everything now!

00:46:39 - They just said they were gonna kill me!

00:46:41 - What'd you tell Ted?

00:46:43 - You're smashing my phone!

00:46:44 You're smashing my phone!

00:46:45 - Smash him!

00:46:46 (groaning)

00:46:47 - Oh, fuck!

00:46:48 - Oh, fuck!

00:46:48 - Time out, time out!

00:46:49 - Time out, time out!

00:46:50 - Okay, Patrice.

00:46:51 - Time in!

00:46:52 (groaning)

00:46:54 - Cheater!

00:46:55 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

00:46:56 - Brett!

00:46:57 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

00:46:57 (groaning)

00:46:58 - Fuck it!

00:46:59 (thudding)

00:47:00 - Oh, fuck!

00:47:01 (groaning)

00:47:02 (thudding)

00:47:03 - Oh, God!

00:47:03 (groaning)

00:47:04 - Oh, fuck!

00:47:05 (groaning)

00:47:06 - Hey, take it, motherfucker!

00:47:07 - Time out!

00:47:08 (groaning)

00:47:08 (thudding)

00:47:09 (groaning)

00:47:10 - Fuck!

00:47:11 (groaning)

00:47:13 (thudding)

00:47:14 (groaning)

00:47:15 - No, no, no, no, no, no!

00:47:17 - Where you going, huh?

00:47:17 (groaning)

00:47:18 - Where do you think you're going, Mr. Wiggles?

00:47:20 Come on, get back here!

00:47:21 - No, no, no, no, no, no!

00:47:22 - Help me!

00:47:23 - Stay still!

00:47:24 - Help me!

00:47:25 He's punching my phone!

00:47:25 I'm done with this!

00:47:26 - No, you're not.

00:47:27 - Let's talk!

00:47:28 Let's try words!

00:47:29 Use words!

00:47:30 No!

00:47:31 No!

00:47:32 (glass shattering)

00:47:33 (groaning)

00:47:34 (thudding)

00:47:35 (groaning)

00:47:35 - You okay, man?

00:47:36 - Yeah.

00:47:37 - Look, I'll get you another bong, all right?

00:47:38 - It's my cat's birthday, you think?

00:47:39 (blowing raspberry)

00:47:40 - Happy birthday, happy birthday.

00:47:41 (groaning)

00:47:42 (groaning)

00:47:43 - All right?

00:47:43 - I think there was a package in the mail box.

00:47:46 - This ends now!

00:47:47 (thudding)

00:47:51 - Oh, shit.

00:47:53 - Was that too much?

00:47:55 (sighing)

00:47:57 - Can't get the edge.

00:48:00 - Wait, got it, got it.

00:48:02 - Hey, Dale.

00:48:04 Do you think we're gonna have to kill him?

00:48:05 'Cause I don't think I'm capable of murder.

00:48:07 - I don't think I am either.

00:48:09 - Maybe we could just convince him to kill himself.

00:48:12 Or just not say anything.

00:48:14 - We need to find out everything he knows, okay?

00:48:19 - Wake up.

00:48:20 - Hey, what's up, dudes?

00:48:23 - What's up?

00:48:23 - Tell us everything now.

00:48:26 - Talk, Red.

00:48:27 - I'm gonna flex and bust outta here.

00:48:30 - Trapped.

00:48:35 - Not happening, Red.

00:48:37 - Okay, all right, okay, I'll talk.

00:48:39 Ted Jones, he knows you witnessed the murder.

00:48:42 He found your roach.

00:48:44 He sent two guys over here, Budlovsky and Matheson,

00:48:47 two real big son of a bitches,

00:48:49 and they're basically out to kill you guys.

00:48:51 Yeah, and they're gonna kill me too

00:48:53 unless I turn you all over.

00:48:54 So you guys are basically fucked.

00:48:56 - You're my friend now.

00:48:56 - How many cops does he have on his payroll?

00:48:58 Tell us.

00:48:59 - Well, there's the woman cop, Carol, and--

00:49:01 - Just lady cops.

00:49:02 - I don't know, he could have a bunch.

00:49:03 I mean, this dude is like super well-connected,

00:49:05 and he has like a really awesome hideout too.

00:49:07 It's pretty badass.

00:49:08 - Oh, shit.

00:49:09 - What else?

00:49:10 - Okay, he's at a war right now with the Asians.

00:49:13 They're like in a drug war right now.

00:49:14 - The Asians?

00:49:15 What Asians?

00:49:16 Indians are technically Asian.

00:49:17 - It's true.

00:49:18 - What Asians?

00:49:19 - I don't know, what, Chinese or Korean

00:49:22 or-- - Vietcong?

00:49:24 - Yeah, little, just little Asian people,

00:49:27 like the Asians with the guns and the drugs

00:49:30 and not his friends.

00:49:31 - Bing dong!

00:49:33 - Hey, Ray.

00:49:34 - Shit.

00:49:35 - Oh, they're here.

00:49:36 - They're here. - Ray!

00:49:36 - Okay, guys, I know I sold you all out.

00:49:39 Now, I've been a real son of a bitch and a shitty friend.

00:49:41 Saul, I'm talking to you.

00:49:42 Dale, you're a new friend.

00:49:43 But I can make it up, okay?

00:49:44 I forgot bros before hos.

00:49:46 Just go out the back porch.

00:49:47 I won't say anything, okay?

00:49:48 I'll cover for you.

00:49:49 - Okay, thanks, Ray.

00:49:50 - No sweat.

00:49:51 (dramatic music)

00:49:53 It was Dale Denton.

00:49:57 Dale Denton and Saul, they're around the back porch.

00:49:59 You can catch them if you hurry.

00:50:00 Go, go, go!

00:50:01 Hey, in here!

00:50:05 - Whoa, whoa, I've gotta get your phone, man, come on!

00:50:08 - You said hi.

00:50:09 - Why, no, look, okay, if Red tells Ted's guys

00:50:11 about my name, then they'll go to my apartment

00:50:14 and there I have Angie's name

00:50:15 and they can put that all together

00:50:16 and they'll find her, let's go!

00:50:18 - No, I think we should stay.

00:50:19 - Why?

00:50:20 - 'Cause I'm in the dumpster already.

00:50:22 - Well, then get out, come on!

00:50:23 You're already dirty.

00:50:24 - No!

00:50:25 - Oh.

00:50:25 - They're gone.

00:50:28 - Do I find out what he knows?

00:50:29 - Red, this is your last chance, man.

00:50:32 You gonna give him something we can use?

00:50:33 - Matheson, man, you gotta be kidding me, man.

00:50:35 I mean, what more do you want?

00:50:37 I told you that the guy's name is Dale Denton.

00:50:39 He's obviously working with Saul.

00:50:41 That they came in here, they busted my house to shit,

00:50:43 they kicked the hell out of me

00:50:44 and then duct taped me to my grandfather's wheelchair.

00:50:46 I mean, what more do you want me to tell you?

00:50:48 Want me to reach a horoscope?

00:50:49 - Yeah, that too.

00:50:51 - Okay, ask if either of them were Asian.

00:50:54 What skin color, buddy?

00:50:55 - They were white people.

00:50:56 Denton might've been a Jew, I don't know.

00:50:59 I don't judge people based on things like that.

00:51:01 Obviously, we're friends.

00:51:02 - Mm-hmm.

00:51:04 - Ted, you hear him?

00:51:05 - Dale Denton, not Asian.

00:51:07 All right, kill Red.

00:51:09 - Man, listen, I would just appreciate it

00:51:11 if both of y'all would just take your shoes off me.

00:51:12 And this is brand new carpet, you're tracking mud in here.

00:51:15 Matheson, you got British Knights on.

00:51:17 I ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987.

00:51:19 (gunshot)

00:51:20 - Ow!

00:51:21 What the hell are you doing?

00:51:23 - Ted told me to kill him.

00:51:25 - Well, how about a little fucking discretion here?

00:51:27 - See, see, see right there.

00:51:29 You see that, you catch it?

00:51:30 - See what?

00:51:31 - You used to not give a fuck about discretion.

00:51:33 I seen you pull somebody's jawbone off.

00:51:36 I think that you was ruthless.

00:51:40 You was ruthless, man.

00:51:41 - What the fuck, man?

00:51:44 You shot me in my stomach.

00:51:45 I'm gonna die now, probably.

00:51:48 - Then I had you all over here for dinner.

00:51:50 Fish tacos, this how you do me?

00:51:53 (gunshot)

00:51:54 Ow!

00:51:54 - So what did Budlovsky and Matheson say?

00:51:59 - I don't know.

00:51:59 Uh, he meant, there's this guy, Saul,

00:52:03 something who's selling weed,

00:52:06 who works with some guy named Dale Denton.

00:52:07 That's all he said, that's all I got out of him.

00:52:09 - Do you think he has anything to do

00:52:10 with the guy that we shot?

00:52:11 Well, did he say anything else?

00:52:14 - Saul mentioned something about going to the casino.

00:52:18 - Going to the casino.

00:52:20 The Asians own the casino, Ted.

00:52:22 - I need another beer.

00:52:23 - He's gotta be working for them.

00:52:26 Maybe after we pop that guy,

00:52:28 they hired this outside guy, Dale,

00:52:30 what's his name, Denton?

00:52:31 To finish the job.

00:52:32 - Maybe.

00:52:34 - Maybe.

00:52:35 Well, be back in an hour.

00:52:37 I'll have everything there is to know

00:52:38 about this Dale Denton guy.

00:52:41 Who he's screwing, who's his mother, everything.

00:52:44 - You gonna go ahead?

00:52:45 - Yeah.

00:52:46 - Wait, where are we going?

00:52:49 - I gotta, I gotta, I gotta get to Angie's.

00:52:52 I have to make sure she's okay.

00:52:54 - What about my bubby?

00:52:55 You don't think they'll go after her, do you?

00:52:57 I mean, she has a different last name.

00:53:00 Logus.

00:53:01 - I don't know, we should get out of the middle of the road,

00:53:02 though.

00:53:03 Come on.

00:53:04 ♪ Said I'm a wanted man ♪

00:53:07 ♪ Who's been denied by the evil forces ♪

00:53:14 ♪ Said I'm a wanted man ♪

00:53:17 ♪ Yeah, I don't wear the high heels ♪

00:53:21 - You guys can wait as long as you want,

00:53:23 but one minute from right now, I'm gonna eat some food.

00:53:27 And you can call it rude, you can call whatever you want,

00:53:30 and you can be all polite with your clean plates,

00:53:32 but I'm gonna be eating food.

00:53:33 - Dad, go be here.

00:53:34 - And I'm gonna go in the other room

00:53:35 and check my email, 'cause I'm done with this.

00:53:37 - Honey, we're at the table.

00:53:39 No one's going to leave the table.

00:53:41 ♪ Yesterday was more than yesterday ♪

00:53:44 - Okay, this is it.

00:53:46 - All right, let's go.

00:53:46 - No, no, no, I'm going alone.

00:53:48 - What, no.

00:53:49 - Yeah, yeah.

00:53:51 - No, I wanna meet Angie.

00:53:52 - You'll meet her later, man, look.

00:53:54 Look, I need you to stay out here.

00:53:55 Keep guard, okay?

00:53:56 It's really important, watch my back.

00:53:58 - Okay. - Thanks.

00:53:59 - All right, just be yourself.

00:54:01 I'll keep guard.

00:54:01 - Hey.

00:54:04 Oh, shit.

00:54:08 Oh, no.

00:54:09 - Hey, Dale.

00:54:10 - Hello, Dale.

00:54:12 - Hey.

00:54:12 Dinner.

00:54:15 This is the dinner you invited me to.

00:54:17 That was tonight.

00:54:18 That's why I'm here.

00:54:20 - Sit, please.

00:54:21 - Of course.

00:54:23 Hi, hi.

00:54:25 - Shannon.

00:54:25 - Intros, Shannon.

00:54:26 - Great to meet you.

00:54:27 - You too, Robert, if I'm not mistaken.

00:54:29 - Sit on down so we can eat.

00:54:30 - Oh, sit, oh my God.

00:54:31 Hey, okay.

00:54:33 - What the hell happened to you?

00:54:34 - Nothing, I'm supposed to be here right now.

00:54:36 So I'm here.

00:54:38 - You're all dirty and bleeding.

00:54:39 - No, I'm not, I'm here for dinner.

00:54:41 - You have scratches on your forehead.

00:54:43 - Dude, you smell like shit.

00:54:45 - Dale, what happened to you?

00:54:47 - I was in the woods.

00:54:48 - In the woods?

00:54:49 - Yeah, isn't that weird?

00:54:50 I was in the woods.

00:54:52 - What were you doing in the woods?

00:54:53 - I bird watched.

00:54:55 I don't, no, I don't.

00:54:57 Look, I'm gonna come clean.

00:54:58 I witnessed a murder, okay?

00:55:03 I saw someone murder someone else

00:55:05 and I think they've been following me

00:55:07 and there's a good chance they went to my apartment

00:55:10 where Angie has a lot of things.

00:55:11 She has her yearbooks, report card sheet,

00:55:13 or her cell number is written and it's on my fridge.

00:55:16 So they could then find this house.

00:55:18 They could come here.

00:55:19 - We should call the police right away.

00:55:21 - We can't call the police.

00:55:22 The police were the murderers.

00:55:23 That's what's so flippin' scary.

00:55:24 - We can't call the police, they were the murderers.

00:55:26 - They were the murderers.

00:55:26 - Angie, I swear to God, you do something or I'm gonna.

00:55:29 - So fucked up.

00:55:30 - No, don't, don't let him gonna.

00:55:31 No, don't wanna.

00:55:32 Look, we gotta get the F out of here.

00:55:35 Let's go.

00:55:36 - We need to begin to prematurely evacuate.

00:55:38 - Are you high?

00:55:39 - What, no, I'm not high.

00:55:40 - You are high as a fucking kite.

00:55:42 - I'm not high, let's go.

00:55:44 - We're not going anywhere.

00:55:45 I'm coming back in a minute.

00:55:46 You know what I'm coming back with?

00:55:47 - No, what?

00:55:48 - I'm coming back with a gun.

00:55:49 You better be out of here.

00:55:50 - Robert, don't.

00:55:50 - I'm not fucking with you.

00:55:51 - Your gun, his gun?

00:55:53 Why do you ever don't get a gun?

00:55:54 Why would he bear arms?

00:55:55 - Look, no, we need to go.

00:55:57 Everyone, I'm leading the parade.

00:55:59 - Arr.

00:56:05 (car engine revving)

00:56:08 - No, no, no, fuck.

00:56:13 I just want you to know, I'll always get your back.

00:56:17 And I'm glad we're partners.

00:56:22 This is so exciting.

00:56:31 - Okay, okay, is this where you parked?

00:56:32 Let's sally forth.

00:56:33 - Who is after you, after Angie?

00:56:35 - They're drug dealers.

00:56:36 I reasonably believe that they're drug dealers.

00:56:38 - Seriously, what are you talking about?

00:56:40 This is crazy out of your mind.

00:56:41 - I know, it sounds crazy.

00:56:43 (screaming)

00:56:44 - Dale, Dale, Dale, it's happening.

00:56:46 We need to get there now.

00:56:47 (screaming)

00:56:48 - Oh my God.

00:56:49 - Why'd you do that?

00:56:49 - Get it, get it.

00:56:50 - Okay, just stop.

00:56:51 - What'd you do?

00:56:52 He's one of the drug dealers.

00:56:54 - Get out.

00:56:55 - He's my pot dealer.

00:56:56 - He's your pot dealer.

00:56:57 - Get it.

00:56:58 - Ow, ow.

00:56:59 Gross.

00:57:01 Are you okay?

00:57:02 - Dale, who is this?

00:57:04 - Oh shit, get down.

00:57:05 (screaming)

00:57:06 (gunshots)

00:57:08 - What was that?

00:57:12 - That was a gunshot.

00:57:13 - Stop, stop it.

00:57:19 - I'm a good guy.

00:57:20 - Stop it, he's with me.

00:57:20 - I'm a good drug dealer.

00:57:21 - He is with me.

00:57:22 - Dad, put the gun down.

00:57:24 - Put down the gun.

00:57:25 - You assholes do exactly what I say

00:57:26 or I will take you outside and fuck you in the street.

00:57:29 - No, don't do that.

00:57:30 - Don't fuck us anywhere.

00:57:33 (gunshots)

00:57:35 - Where's your gun?

00:57:39 - I don't need it.

00:57:40 Kill motherfuckers with my hands.

00:57:42 - Get out your goddamn gun.

00:57:46 You're making me uncomfortable.

00:57:48 (dramatic music)

00:57:51 - Anybody out there?

00:57:59 (dramatic music)

00:58:02 - I'll be hiding.

00:58:04 - Say now.

00:58:06 - Hey, the food's still warm.

00:58:11 Love it.

00:58:17 - I found a bloody fork.

00:58:18 It's fucking freaky, man.

00:58:22 They could still be here.

00:58:23 Did you check the rest of the house?

00:58:25 - No, I'm about to check that bathroom.

00:58:28 I know that much.

00:58:29 - Come on, Saul, come on, come on, come on.

00:58:31 Yes, yes, we made it.

00:58:32 We're all safe, guys, we made it.

00:58:33 - What are you doing?

00:58:35 Get the fuck out of my car.

00:58:36 I can't even believe you think that would be an option.

00:58:38 - Okay, okay, no, that makes sense.

00:58:40 It makes sense, come on, let's go.

00:58:41 It makes sense, he's right.

00:58:42 - Stay away from my family, period.

00:58:44 - So where do we go, what do we do?

00:58:46 - Go to the Days Inn downtown, okay?

00:58:49 Use a fake name.

00:58:50 Garagely, I'll contact you.

00:58:54 Look, I don't know who these people are.

00:58:55 I don't know what they're capable of,

00:58:57 but I will keep you guys safe.

00:58:58 I promise that I'll keep you safe.

00:59:00 - Fuck off, loser.

00:59:01 - Angie, you're a fucking idiot.

00:59:05 I say that with love.

00:59:06 - Okay, call this Mocha Milkshake.

00:59:11 This one here, English Breeze, charged $40 for these.

00:59:15 Yeah, this one, Da Vinci's Brush.

00:59:20 Call this one Bumblebush.

00:59:22 And this here, Spanish Trampoline.

00:59:26 Crazy with them names, ain't you, Ted?

00:59:29 What the fuck is, what is it, Spanish?

00:59:31 - Spanish Trampoline, yeah, I used to call it

00:59:33 Spanish Mudflats, but then Troy likes to trampoline a lot,

00:59:35 so I called it Spanish Trampoline.

00:59:36 Almost the same number of syllables.

00:59:38 - How much?

00:59:39 - 45 for these last three here.

00:59:41 And leave me the best stash.

00:59:43 - All right.

00:59:44 - Pineapple Express.

00:59:45 - Get your ass out.

00:59:46 - Yeah, of course.

00:59:48 - So get this, we triangulated the cells,

00:59:56 and they smashed one, and then they threw the other one

00:59:58 in the woods to try to distract us.

01:00:00 An hour for Jerry to find it.

01:00:02 And then he said that he found Denton's car,

01:00:05 filled with all these strange disguises.

01:00:07 Powdered wig, a sombrero, leotards.

01:00:10 I mean, what the fuck does that mean, you know?

01:00:13 - Well, why don't I just call the Asians

01:00:14 and talk to Chun, and wipe you around the bush?

01:00:16 You know?

01:00:17 (phone ringing)

01:00:19 - Put you down.

01:00:21 (phone ringing)

01:00:24 - You have a cell?

01:00:29 - Chun, it's Ted.

01:00:30 - Look at me.

01:00:31 Ted, what a surprise.

01:00:35 What can I do for you?

01:00:37 - Well, Chun, my friend, let me tell you.

01:00:40 You know, we both know that you sent

01:00:43 one of your very skilled hitmen over here last night,

01:00:47 and I and my colleague made a little decoration

01:00:50 on our window.

01:00:51 Shoulda seen it.

01:00:52 We painted the wall with his brain.

01:00:55 Painted it.

01:00:56 And now this Dale Denton guy?

01:00:58 You serious?

01:01:00 Just stop it, okay?

01:01:01 Stop it, or you're asking for war.

01:01:03 Do you want a war?

01:01:04 - What?

01:01:05 - Hello?

01:01:06 Troy.

01:01:07 - Dad!

01:01:08 Get off the phone!

01:01:09 I told you I'm gonna call some hot bitches later,

01:01:11 and this is the time!

01:01:13 - I got you your own line so you would stay off of mine.

01:01:15 Now get off the phone.

01:01:17 - Don't talk to me like that.

01:01:18 I'm not a little kid, I'm a man!

01:01:20 And from this point forward,

01:01:21 I'm not taking any of your fucking shit!

01:01:24 I love you, Dad, but the dynamic in our relationship

01:01:27 is about to change.

01:01:28 - Troy, do me a favor, get off the fucking phone!

01:01:31 - Oh, shit.

01:01:32 - So, you have a son?

01:01:34 - Sounds like a very nice boy.

01:01:37 - All right, you listen to me, Chun, you motherfucker!

01:01:40 It is on!

01:01:40 We're coming at you with everything we got!

01:01:42 It's on, so you better get your head out of your ass

01:01:45 and be ready for everything!

01:01:47 You are fucking dead!

01:01:48 - You are so dumb.

01:01:51 Do you have any idea how weak you just made us look?

01:01:55 - God damn it!

01:01:58 - It's sucking.

01:02:00 Ted Jones, Troy, we shall strike now with full force.

01:02:06 Your brother's death will not be in vain.

01:02:14 - I gotta say, I've met like a lot of weed dealers in my day.

01:02:18 You're by far the coolest I've ever had, man.

01:02:19 They were all dicks.

01:02:20 - Really?

01:02:21 - Yeah.

01:02:22 - Thanks, man.

01:02:23 - No problem, I really appreciate it.

01:02:24 That means a lot to me, you know?

01:02:26 It's like you're the first guy that I ever sold to

01:02:28 that I became friends with.

01:02:30 They say like, don't dip the pen in company ink.

01:02:33 I'm totally glad I dipped in your ink, bro.

01:02:36 - Yeah.

01:02:39 So we should get out of town probably.

01:02:43 That's probably our next move.

01:02:44 We just get on the bus and leave, right?

01:02:46 Get bus tickets, go to the next town, contact some police.

01:02:52 - You know what I'm saying?

01:02:54 Like, I'm totally, like--

01:02:55 - You're glad you dipped your pen in ink?

01:02:56 Yeah, but we should go,

01:02:57 we should get bus tickets and leave, right?

01:03:00 - What?

01:03:01 - Get on the bus, leave, buy bus tickets.

01:03:04 - Yeah, I only have like 50 bucks.

01:03:06 I don't think I'll even buy one ticket.

01:03:08 - What about your sack?

01:03:09 - Oh man, it's fucking killing me.

01:03:11 I feel like I popped one.

01:03:13 - Ew, no, that's unfortunate,

01:03:15 but that's not what I'm talking about.

01:03:16 I mean like the sack of weed.

01:03:18 We just like sell some weed

01:03:21 and get some cash and buy bus tickets.

01:03:22 - Of course, man, that's what I do.

01:03:24 - That's what you do.

01:03:25 Fucking A.

01:03:25 - Okay, so you're gonna buy tickets

01:03:28 for Saturday's game, right?

01:03:29 You guys are amazing.

01:03:31 What the fuck do you want?

01:03:33 - You guys wanna buy some chronic?

01:03:35 (upbeat music)

01:03:42 - What's this stuff called again, man?

01:03:44 - Pineapple Express, they sell like 800 fucking ton.

01:03:47 - Yeah, if anyone asks, that's not what it's called.

01:03:49 - They call it banana boat.

01:03:51 - Just make sure you leave it a weed too, you know?

01:03:53 This can be a gateway drug.

01:03:54 You don't wanna move on other things.

01:03:55 Cocaine, don't do that.

01:03:57 - We don't fuck around.

01:03:58 Don't worry, don't tell us what to do.

01:04:00 - Inhale it, Chachi.

01:04:02 Inhale it.

01:04:03 - Who the fuck's Chachi?

01:04:04 ♪ Say goodbye to your buffalo girl ♪

01:04:08 ♪ Hey, local boy, say goodbye ♪

01:04:12 ♪ She's a coconut girl in a high fashion world ♪

01:04:17 - How much money you guys got?

01:04:23 - Come on, Zap.

01:04:24 - You each get as much as you can grab with one hand.

01:04:26 - Go easy, that's a big handful, guys, come on.

01:04:29 Okay, just keep it on the down low.

01:04:31 - Don't tell anybody where you got it, all right?

01:04:33 You got it from, I mean,

01:04:34 you got it from Santiago and Dunbar.

01:04:37 - Let's go.

01:04:38 - Go, go, move.

01:04:40 (laughing)

01:04:43 - Fucking did it, man, good.

01:04:44 You are a good salesman.

01:04:45 You got it in you, man.

01:04:47 - I'm about to go get some soda.

01:04:48 - Yeah, get some snacks.

01:04:49 Get some burritos or something.

01:04:50 I don't know, something to drink too, something good.

01:04:53 See you, man, nice.

01:04:54 - Don't move.

01:05:03 Don't you move, this shit hurts.

01:05:05 Don't move, what's in your hand?

01:05:06 What's in your hand?

01:05:07 - It's a joint, it's a roach, I'm sorry.

01:05:08 - Come here, right here.

01:05:10 - I was just smoking this.

01:05:11 - What's in your hand?

01:05:11 - I thought it was decriminalized, to be honest with you.

01:05:13 I have a horrible anorexia and it helps my appetite.

01:05:17 I'm so sorry.

01:05:18 - Look, selling narcotics to my students

01:05:21 is not decriminalized.

01:05:23 - Okay, I understand that.

01:05:24 - I'm the liaison officer for this school.

01:05:26 And guess what?

01:05:27 I just saw three students walking from back here

01:05:29 with their eyes as red as the devil's dick.

01:05:31 You're busted.

01:05:33 (man mumbling)

01:05:36 - On the hood, on the hood.

01:05:40 - Okay, I'm on the hood.

01:05:41 - Whoa, come on.

01:05:42 - Stand still, stand still.

01:05:43 - Okay, I'm still, I'm still.

01:05:44 - Okay, on the hood.

01:05:45 - I'm sorry, okay, I'm on the hood.

01:05:46 - You better hope it's clean.

01:05:47 You better hope there's shit on this record.

01:05:49 I'm gonna put my hood up in your ass.

01:05:52 Oh, big sexy with glasses.

01:06:01 - This is Officer Barber requesting an update

01:06:03 on fugitive Dale Denton.

01:06:04 I repeat, requesting update on Dale Denton.

01:06:07 I have the fugitive in custody.

01:06:09 - 425, 425, what's your location?

01:06:11 You're going down.

01:06:14 - What, what do you mean I'm going?

01:06:15 Why am I going down?

01:06:16 What did that thing tell you?

01:06:17 - What did I tell you?

01:06:18 - What are you doing?

01:06:19 - What did I tell you?

01:06:20 - What do you, what, what, what do you think?

01:06:22 Why do you hate me so much?

01:06:23 What did that thing say?

01:06:24 - Hit and run, Mr. Denton, hit and run.

01:06:26 Two parked cars two nights ago

01:06:28 and one of them was actually a police cruiser.

01:06:30 - You got to be the dumbest mother fucker in California.

01:06:33 - Oh my God.

01:06:33 - The lady called him.

01:06:35 I gotta tell her all the shit.

01:06:36 - So you telling me you saw Ted Jones

01:06:39 and a police officer shoot somebody?

01:06:40 - That's exactly what I'm telling you.

01:06:41 Do you believe me? - And you saw it?

01:06:42 - Yes, do you believe me?

01:06:43 - I don't know, give me a minute.

01:06:44 It was a woman or a man?

01:06:45 - It was a police woman, it was a woman.

01:06:47 - Oh, I think I know who that bitch was.

01:06:49 - Yes, I will identify that bitch.

01:06:51 Thank you so much for believing me, ma'am.

01:06:56 Thank you so much.

01:06:56 - Well, I tell you this, I bet I get to the bottom of it.

01:06:58 I take this badge off and get to the bottom of it.

01:07:01 I don't work for the law.

01:07:02 The law works for me.

01:07:04 I promise you, I've been smelling something

01:07:05 in this department for a long time

01:07:07 and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this shit.

01:07:09 (all yelling)

01:07:11 - Son of a bitch.

01:07:12 - Oh no.

01:07:14 What the hell was that?

01:07:15 What is that?

01:07:16 (dramatic music)

01:07:19 No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:07:27 No, what are you doing?

01:07:28 - I'm saving you, amigo, don't worry.

01:07:29 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, freeze, goddammit.

01:07:31 Don't you even think about it.

01:07:33 - Stop this car right now. - It's an old-fashioned

01:07:34 escape mission, buddy.

01:07:35 - Stop this car.

01:07:37 (sirens blaring)

01:07:39 - Oh shit. - What the fuck

01:07:42 are you doing?

01:07:43 - Oh shit. - What are you doing?

01:07:44 - Oh shit.

01:07:45 (tires screeching)

01:07:47 Oh shit, it's the lady cop.

01:07:49 - That's the murderer.

01:07:50 No, no.

01:07:50 - What? - That's the lady cop.

01:07:51 - What do you mean?

01:07:52 Then who's that?

01:07:53 - I don't know.

01:07:54 (gunshots firing)

01:07:55 (all yelling)

01:07:57 (tires screeching)

01:08:00 (gunshots firing)

01:08:02 - Oh my god, they're shooting.

01:08:03 - Fuck.

01:08:04 (dramatic music)

01:08:07 (tires screeching)

01:08:11 - Shit, I can't see, it's blushing.

01:08:16 - Turn on the wipers.

01:08:17 - It's not working.

01:08:18 - Well, kick out the window, isn't that what they do?

01:08:20 - I don't know, how do you drive with one foot?

01:08:22 - I don't know.

01:08:23 (gunshot firing)

01:08:24 - Oh, man. - Oh, fuck.

01:08:26 - I think I pulled my groin.

01:08:27 (dramatic music)

01:08:30 - Get your butt out of there.

01:08:32 - He's getting on his back, he's behind us.

01:08:34 - Our car's better.

01:08:36 - Get your leg out of there, man, seriously.

01:08:38 - I can't.

01:08:39 - Put her in a maximum overdrive.

01:08:40 (screaming)

01:08:43 (tires screeching)

01:08:44 - Oh no, no, no, no.

01:08:45 Oh no.

01:08:46 (tires screeching)

01:08:48 - Oh shit.

01:08:49 - Ow.

01:08:49 - Get it out.

01:08:50 - Ow.

01:08:51 Ow, ow, ow.

01:08:52 (tires screeching)

01:08:53 - Oh, man. - He's in, I can't see.

01:08:55 (tires screeching)

01:08:58 - That's, whoa.

01:08:59 Whoa.

01:09:01 Danger, danger.

01:09:02 - Trees, trees, trees, squirrel.

01:09:04 (dramatic music)

01:09:08 - Hey, I can see through my leg hole.

01:09:09 - Nice, nice, look out, look out.

01:09:10 Tree, tree, tree, tree.

01:09:12 - I got it.

01:09:12 (laughing)

01:09:14 - You did it, man.

01:09:15 (screaming)

01:09:17 - All right, look out.

01:09:19 - Oh shit.

01:09:19 - It's on, it's on, it's on.

01:09:21 - Get off. - It's on, it's on, it's on.

01:09:22 - Get off.

01:09:23 - It's on.

01:09:24 (screaming)

01:09:26 - Yeah.

01:09:27 (dramatic music)

01:09:28 (screaming)

01:09:30 - I'm scared, sir, I'm scared.

01:09:34 - Don't worry, man, I'm handling this.

01:09:35 - Well, do something.

01:09:36 - All right, hold on.

01:09:38 I got an idea.

01:09:39 (tires screeching)

01:09:42 - Oh shit, oh shit.

01:09:44 Go, go, go, go.

01:09:45 (gun firing)

01:09:46 - Bobby.

01:09:47 (tires screeching)

01:09:49 - Oh, what the fuck was that?

01:09:51 - Fuck, oh shit, I'm sorry.

01:09:52 I thought you'd just go past.

01:09:53 - Why?

01:09:54 I don't know.

01:09:55 (dramatic music)

01:09:57 Fuck.

01:09:58 (screaming)

01:10:01 (gun firing)

01:10:06 - Oh my.

01:10:13 Wow.

01:10:15 - Yes, yes, we made it.

01:10:20 - Right. - All right, man.

01:10:21 - All right, Amigo, let's get the fuck out of here.

01:10:22 - No, what are you doing?

01:10:24 You forgot me, you idiot.

01:10:25 Come back.

01:10:26 Come back.

01:10:28 Sol.

01:10:29 - It's all right, man, I'm sorry.

01:10:30 - No, yes, thank you.

01:10:31 - All right, let's go.

01:10:32 - No, wait, get the handcuff keys, you idiot.

01:10:35 Ow.

01:10:35 - I haven't used a gun since NAMM.

01:10:40 - Angie, you have exhibited poor decision-making skills.

01:10:44 - This is my fault.

01:10:45 - And we have hosted violence in our home because of it.

01:10:48 - Hosted violence?

01:10:49 - You know, he's a bad guy.

01:10:50 - I can see that you have stooped way, way below.

01:10:53 - I know you years ago lowered your expectations with men,

01:10:56 but this guy is so far beneath you,

01:10:58 and you deserve so much better than this guy.

01:11:00 - Open your heart to someone who deserves you.

01:11:01 - Please, dear. - We don't have a boyfriend

01:11:02 at all for a while.

01:11:03 Hang out with your girlfriend.

01:11:04 - We're stuck here in this hotel room.

01:11:05 - I love him, and you know what?

01:11:06 - You love him. - It's not your decision.

01:11:06 - You tested our patience. - It's not your decision.

01:11:08 - I'm sorry. - We've gone over the edge.

01:11:09 - I'm over the edge.

01:11:09 I'm over the edge now.

01:11:11 - We're going to the police right now.

01:11:12 - That's what I said in the beginning.

01:11:13 - I know. - I said let's go.

01:11:14 - I said let's go to the police.

01:11:14 - Here we are. - You should listen to me.

01:11:15 - You come with us right now. - He's a lawyer.

01:11:16 - He's a lawyer. - He can't possibly

01:11:17 - You should listen to me. - I'm not going anywhere.

01:11:18 - I'm not going anywhere. - She's staying here.

01:11:19 - Fine, you stay in the room.

01:11:19 - We're leaving. - Fine, go.

01:11:20 - You stay in the room. - We're leaving.

01:11:21 - Fine, go. - And we don't need

01:11:22 the shampoos.

01:11:23 Why did you have to go to the massage room?

01:11:24 Stop it.

01:11:25 (dramatic music)

01:11:25 - As soon as we kill those sacks of shit tonight, Ted,

01:11:27 we're moving on.

01:11:28 (dramatic music)

01:11:31 - Okay.

01:11:36 All right.

01:11:38 And I promise you,

01:11:40 you're gonna be taken care of.

01:11:41 - Yeah, you sure shit you will.

01:11:43 - But for now, this is what we're gonna do.

01:11:45 We're gonna go to the farm tonight,

01:11:47 we're gonna move tonight's shipment,

01:11:48 and then the first thing tomorrow morning,

01:11:50 we are gonna hunt these guys down.

01:11:51 Dale, Saul, the Asians, every last one of them.

01:11:54 We're gonna fucking kill them all.

01:11:55 (dramatic music)

01:11:57 So smile.

01:11:57 - Shut up.

01:11:59 - Say something in Spanish.

01:12:03 Go ahead, I dare you, go ahead.

01:12:05 (laughing)

01:12:06 (dramatic music)

01:12:10 - Oh yes, may I have the garage leader room, please?

01:12:12 (phone ringing)

01:12:13 - Hello?

01:12:13 - Hello, is Angie there?

01:12:14 - Dale!

01:12:15 - Angie?

01:12:16 - Oh my God, are you okay?

01:12:17 - I'm good, I'm fine, I'm great.

01:12:19 Are you okay?

01:12:20 - Yes, I'm fine.

01:12:21 - Okay, good, I came up with a plan.

01:12:22 - Okay, it might sound weird at first, but just listen.

01:12:25 - You know what, drug dealers, let me just tell you something.

01:12:27 Drug dealers are trying to kill me.

01:12:30 And you, and my family, and my friends.

01:12:33 - I'm not gonna let you do that.

01:12:35 - I'm not gonna let you do that.

01:12:36 - I'm not gonna let you do that.

01:12:37 - I'm not gonna let you do that.

01:12:38 - You, and my family.

01:12:40 I can't believe I'm in this situation right now

01:12:42 because of you and your addiction to marijuana.

01:12:44 I cannot believe I'm here.

01:12:46 - Can't be addicted to marijuana, A, I use a bong.

01:12:48 It filters out the addictive shit, seriously.

01:12:51 B, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

01:12:53 I went to murder Angie and now I'm dealing with it.

01:12:55 This that's happening between us, this is normal.

01:12:58 This happens to every couple who's been dating

01:13:00 for three months and we just have to work through it.

01:13:01 - No, it doesn't, Dale, this doesn't happen to anyone.

01:13:04 I should not be in this situation, so fuck you.

01:13:07 You know what, it's over.

01:13:08 - Good, fine, whatever, it's over.

01:13:11 Congratulations, had to happen sometime, right?

01:13:13 Why not now?

01:13:14 - What the fuck does that mean?

01:13:15 - It means that you are gonna go to college next year.

01:13:18 You'll get into Godspeed, you black emperor,

01:13:21 and the fucking shins, and you'll blow a bunch of dudes

01:13:24 and you'll become a lesbian and I'll be here

01:13:26 in fucking Clark County doing shit all.

01:13:28 You're gonna dump me, so fuck it, have a good time.

01:13:30 - A lesbian?

01:13:31 - Fuck you, Dale.

01:13:33 You never did like me anyway, did you?

01:13:34 You didn't even wanna meet my parents.

01:13:36 - I always cared about you.

01:13:37 That's not what this is, ever, okay?

01:13:39 I always care about you, Angie.

01:13:40 - Why do you ever act like it, huh?

01:13:42 Why do you never act like you care about anything?

01:13:45 - 'Cause I'm high, fuck, and then, what do you want?

01:13:48 Okay, Jesus.

01:13:49 - Call me when I can go home.

01:13:51 - You lost a plane bid with?

01:13:54 You pimp.

01:13:56 No, I'll give you more, but you cannot gamble with it.

01:13:59 I'm sorry about the clocks.

01:14:03 I couldn't remember if it's today or tomorrow.

01:14:06 All right, I gotta go.

01:14:08 I love you.

01:14:08 You wise ass.

01:14:10 Hey, you all right, man?

01:14:14 - Sounded pretty hectic.

01:14:15 - I'm okay, let's just get the fuck outta here, okay?

01:14:17 - All right, first things first.

01:14:19 - Don't do that, okay?

01:14:24 - Yeah, why not?

01:14:24 - Why not?

01:14:25 Car chase, gunshots, that clearly just happened

01:14:28 because we were smoking marijuana.

01:14:31 - No, man, that happened 'cause those fucking kids

01:14:33 couldn't keep their shit on the down low, man.

01:14:35 - In case you haven't noticed, which you haven't,

01:14:38 'cause from what I can tell, you don't notice anything ever.

01:14:41 We are not very functional when we're high,

01:14:43 which is all the fucking time.

01:14:44 - Well, I don't know, man.

01:14:46 I think I'm functioning right now.

01:14:47 I was like stoned when I saved you with those slushies.

01:14:50 What do you gotta say to that, man?

01:14:52 - Well, that would be true if you had saved me,

01:14:55 but you didn't save me.

01:14:56 She was gonna help us and you made things worse.

01:14:58 Now we're wanted for all sorts of fucking crazy shit.

01:15:00 - Don't fucking get on my case, all right?

01:15:02 Look, only reason I started selling pot

01:15:04 is so I could put my bubby in a nice retirement home.

01:15:07 - Oh yeah, she must be proud of you for that.

01:15:08 - She is really proud of me

01:15:09 and I'm gonna become something, man.

01:15:11 As soon as she dies, I'm gonna become a civil engineer.

01:15:13 I'm gonna design septic tanks for playgrounds.

01:15:16 Little kids can take shits.

01:15:18 You idiot, what the hell do you do?

01:15:19 - What I'm gonna do, besides staying in my home

01:15:21 for fear that you've designed some object I'm around,

01:15:24 I'm gonna be on the radio talking about life.

01:15:27 - Oh!

01:15:28 - Giving lessons about life.

01:15:29 - Only in my place, I'm gonna be designing buildings

01:15:32 and what's he gonna be doing?

01:15:33 - Boring people death on the radio.

01:15:35 - You are an asshole.

01:15:37 That's all you are, you're an asshole.

01:15:39 - I'm not an asshole.

01:15:40 - You are an asshole.

01:15:40 - You know what?

01:15:41 I feel pretty sure that I'm not an asshole.

01:15:44 I'm like a totally nice guy.

01:15:46 - Hey, I'm just as nice as you are,

01:15:47 so you don't bring that out.

01:15:48 When we were in the woods, I gave you my jacket.

01:15:50 You were cold and I clothed you.

01:15:53 - How about in the park when I said that you were my friend?

01:15:57 You didn't say anything back.

01:15:59 - Well, that's easy.

01:16:00 It's 'cause we're not friends.

01:16:01 You are my drug dealer.

01:16:03 There's one reason we know each other.

01:16:05 I like the drugs you sell, that's it.

01:16:07 If you didn't sell those drugs,

01:16:08 I would have no idea who you were

01:16:10 and I would be fantastic right now

01:16:12 instead of looking like this.

01:16:14 That sounded mean.

01:16:17 Just hearing it sounded mean.

01:16:19 I didn't mean to say--

01:16:20 - It's out, bro.

01:16:21 Monkey's out of the bottle, man.

01:16:23 - What?

01:16:24 - Yeah.

01:16:25 - That's not even an expression.

01:16:26 - Pandora doesn't go back in the box.

01:16:27 He only comes out.

01:16:28 - I'm sorry, man.

01:16:29 Look, what are you doing?

01:16:32 - Here, have a nice last meal.

01:16:34 - Come on.

01:16:35 Don't do that.

01:16:37 - Why don't you supersize it, bitch?

01:16:39 - I'm sorry, man.

01:16:40 Look, come back.

01:16:41 I didn't mean that.

01:16:44 (upbeat music)

01:16:50 ♪ I'm trying to feel like ♪

01:16:58 ♪ Give the power to a bald head ♪

01:17:03 ♪ Run, come crucify in a dress ♪

01:17:08 ♪ 'Cause I'm a love ♪

01:17:12 ♪ Oh, time will tell ♪

01:17:16 ♪ Think you're in heaven but you're living in hell ♪

01:17:21 ♪ Think you're in heaven but you're living in hell ♪

01:17:28 ♪ Think you're in heaven but you're living in hell ♪

01:17:33 ♪ 'Cause I'm a love ♪

01:17:37 ♪ Oh, time will tell ♪

01:17:40 ♪ You think you're in heaven but you're living in hell ♪

01:17:45 (phone ringing)

01:17:52 - Hello?

01:17:52 Dale?

01:17:55 - It is Dale.

01:17:57 - Angie, I'm calling 'cause I love you

01:18:00 more than anything in the world.

01:18:02 And I wanna let you know I'll do anything to make it work.

01:18:06 I'll do anything.

01:18:06 I've had a near-death experience.

01:18:10 And when that happens, you can prioritize your life

01:18:13 and you are it, okay?

01:18:14 So please just take me back, please.

01:18:16 I love you.

01:18:17 - I love you.

01:18:18 - Yeah?

01:18:21 - I just took the blues, you know.

01:18:23 We were driving away from the house

01:18:25 and I just kept thinking,

01:18:27 I don't know, I just, I wanna marry you.

01:18:29 - Oh, I made a mistake.

01:18:34 - What do you mean?

01:18:36 - I've--

01:18:37 - What?

01:18:38 - I'm just processing that last bit.

01:18:40 You wanna, oh, fuck.

01:18:42 - What?

01:18:43 - I don't know.

01:18:43 I realize now that if you would take me back,

01:18:46 then you are very naive and immature.

01:18:48 You don't see what a fuck-up I am.

01:18:50 I am in no shape to be dated by anyone.

01:18:52 - You're the one that's immature.

01:18:54 - No way, I'm not immature.

01:18:55 You're immature.

01:18:55 I mean, I am somewhat immature,

01:18:57 but you're more immature.

01:18:58 I'm older.

01:18:59 - Oh, just because you're older.

01:19:01 You know what?

01:19:01 I lost my virginity when I was 14 years old.

01:19:03 - Really?

01:19:04 - How many girls have you even slept with?

01:19:06 - Like two and a half.

01:19:07 - Two and a half?

01:19:08 What does a half, your hand?

01:19:09 That doesn't count.

01:19:10 - No, it was the tipper I dipped a ball in.

01:19:11 I can't remember why.

01:19:12 I just remember thinking,

01:19:13 this doesn't count as a full point.

01:19:15 If I said three, I'd feel like a liar.

01:19:16 I don't know why, I was drunk.

01:19:18 - Screw you.

01:19:19 Just get me out of this motel room.

01:19:20 - I will, and that's the last you'll ever hear from me,

01:19:23 okay?

01:19:23 (doorbell rings)

01:19:26 - Oh, thank God.

01:19:27 Belocas.

01:19:34 I need Belocas.

01:19:36 - Look at there, look at there, look at there.

01:19:38 - So, do you use the pool over here?

01:19:39 - I don't play games.

01:19:40 - Yes, I use the pool.

01:19:41 Come on, what do you want from me?

01:19:43 - We need your grandson.

01:19:44 We need you to get on the phone with your grandson.

01:19:46 - What are you talking about, my grandson?

01:19:48 You told me you wanted to sit down and play dominoes with me.

01:19:51 Now you're talking to me about my grandson?

01:19:53 - Is that it?

01:19:54 - Yes, yes it is.

01:19:56 - May I call you Faye?

01:19:57 - You can call me Faye,

01:19:59 but I'm gonna call you sick.

01:20:01 - Hey, Mrs. Mendelson.

01:20:03 - What do you want from me?

01:20:04 - Bobby, hey guys.

01:20:05 - Oh.

01:20:06 - What's going on?

01:20:07 - Hello, baby.

01:20:08 - Holy fuck.

01:20:09 (dramatic music)

01:20:12 - Sorry, Betty.

01:20:17 (dramatic music)

01:20:20 - You let me kill you.

01:20:22 - They kidnapped my grandson.

01:20:24 - They came running.

01:20:25 - Yeah, these two guys came in,

01:20:26 they sat down with me to play dominoes.

01:20:30 I never saw them in my life before.

01:20:32 And they kept asking questions about my grandson.

01:20:35 - What did they look like?

01:20:36 - Well, one of them was very tall and sloppy.

01:20:39 - And they wore black clothes.

01:20:41 - And the other guy, he was very good looking,

01:20:44 but he was short as shit.

01:20:46 But the worst part was that my grandson came in.

01:20:50 - Why?

01:20:50 - And in pajamas.

01:20:51 Well, you gotta find my grandson.

01:20:53 - Well, we'll do the best.

01:20:54 - You promise?

01:20:55 - I promise, ma'am.

01:20:56 - Absolutely.

01:20:56 - They went through this door.

01:20:57 - I believe that's a mole, ma'am.

01:20:59 - Oh, you sack of shit.

01:21:06 You know what a pain in the ass you've been.

01:21:08 - Come on, man, I don't wanna get out.

01:21:10 - Hey, hey, hey.

01:21:11 - Let's go.

01:21:12 - No.

01:21:13 - Where am I, man?

01:21:14 - You know what a pain in the ass.

01:21:15 - What, man?

01:21:16 You guys started it, man.

01:21:17 I don't even wanna be here.

01:21:19 - Oh my God.

01:21:19 - Did I do that?

01:21:20 - Oh, oh.

01:21:21 - Oh, oh.

01:21:22 - Hey, hey.

01:21:23 - Ow.

01:21:24 - Ow.

01:21:24 - Hey, hey, hey.

01:21:25 - Motherfucker.

01:21:26 - I'm gonna kill you, man.

01:21:28 - Stand back.

01:21:29 - What?

01:21:29 - Ted wants him alive.

01:21:30 - Why are you holding me back?

01:21:31 - Ted wants him alive, okay?

01:21:33 - I should be kicking his fucking teeth then.

01:21:34 - If anybody's gonna beat him up, it's gonna be Ted.

01:21:36 - I look like a hamburger and an elephant man.

01:21:39 - Like someone fucked you up with a coffee pot, man.

01:21:42 - Professional, professional.

01:21:43 - Professional on this, bitch.

01:21:45 - Whatever, man.

01:21:46 - And where were you?

01:21:47 - I was there.

01:21:48 - You're supposed to be my partner.

01:21:49 - I was there.

01:21:49 - No, you wasn't there.

01:21:50 How did this happen then?

01:21:52 I take the hit, that's how it's gonna be?

01:21:55 - Fuck all this, you know?

01:21:56 Get him out of here.

01:21:57 Take him downstairs.

01:21:58 Get this asshole out of my sight and out of my sight.

01:22:00 - I don't wanna go near this guy.

01:22:01 - What's down there?

01:22:04 Fucking rancor?

01:22:06 - I might act tough, but I got a lot of feelings.

01:22:09 And you hurt, damn near every one of them.

01:22:13 - This ain't over.

01:22:15 - You know you're gonna die, right?

01:22:18 - Yeah.

01:22:18 - I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you.

01:22:20 I hope you enjoy these last 17 minutes of your life,

01:22:24 'cause when Ted get here,

01:22:25 he gonna be like, "Kill that motherfucker.

01:22:28 "Kill your motherfucking ass."

01:22:30 Watch your head.

01:22:30 Hey, watch him.

01:22:33 - Oh my God.

01:22:38 El Dorado.

01:22:39 The legends are true.

01:22:41 Look at all this weed, man.

01:22:45 What's that?

01:22:47 Granddaddy?

01:22:47 - Come on.

01:22:48 - Purple Liverpool?

01:22:50 OG Kush?

01:22:51 OG Kush.

01:22:52 It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

01:23:03 What kind of irrigation?

01:23:04 - Shut up.

01:23:05 - Can I touch it?

01:23:06 - Come here.

01:23:07 (dramatic music)

01:23:09 - Hello?

01:23:23 Red?

01:23:25 Red, what the fuck?

01:23:34 Get out of here, man.

01:23:35 I didn't do shit, Den.

01:23:37 - Look, I come in peace, okay?

01:23:38 I'm not here to fight you again.

01:23:40 - Good.

01:23:41 'Cause I'm tired, man.

01:23:43 I'm feeling so hot.

01:23:44 - You don't look great.

01:23:46 - They shot me, Den.

01:23:48 Got me right here.

01:23:50 - Yeah?

01:23:51 - Right here.

01:23:51 And then they got me again right here.

01:23:53 - Look, man, I'll call 911 right now.

01:23:57 They'll save your life, okay?

01:23:58 You don't need to die.

01:24:00 - No, bro.

01:24:01 You don't get it, man.

01:24:02 It doesn't really matter where I'm at.

01:24:03 If I'm at the hospital, if I'm here,

01:24:06 Ted's gonna find me, man.

01:24:07 He will.

01:24:08 And when he does, he's gonna fucking kill me.

01:24:11 He is just like an asshole.

01:24:13 - I couldn't agree more, Red.

01:24:15 That's why I've come here, okay?

01:24:16 You know, Ted, he took Saul.

01:24:18 And I'm gonna get him back.

01:24:19 You know, like, he saved my life.

01:24:22 We've been on the run together,

01:24:23 and he's a great friend.

01:24:24 He's a good guy.

01:24:25 - He is, man.

01:24:26 I'll tell you that, man.

01:24:26 Saul is a good dude.

01:24:27 - And I was mean to him, man.

01:24:29 I wronged him, and I can't let it end like that.

01:24:32 - Man, I'm just into Buddhism,

01:24:33 and I'm at peace with the fact that

01:24:36 me as this person, probably gonna not be around.

01:24:40 Think about a hermit crab, okay?

01:24:42 And it's a shell, and it's like,

01:24:43 they go from one shell to the next.

01:24:46 And that's what I am.

01:24:47 It's like, I'm just a hermit crab changing shells.

01:24:51 - Except, if you're a dick your whole life,

01:24:53 your next shell will be made of shit, okay?

01:24:56 If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back

01:24:57 as a cockroach, or a worm, or a fucking angle bead, okay?

01:25:03 If you're a man, and you act heroic,

01:25:06 you'll come back as an eagle.

01:25:07 You'll come back as a dragon.

01:25:09 You'll come back as Jude Law, okay?

01:25:12 Which would you rather be?

01:25:14 - Maybe the anal bead, depending on who it belongs to.

01:25:17 - Belongs to me.

01:25:19 - Then the dragon.

01:25:20 - Exactly.

01:25:20 You need to help me, okay?

01:25:21 Just use it, you know?

01:25:23 Use the pain.

01:25:24 You'll have a second wind, man.

01:25:25 Let's just get up, we can go get Saul back.

01:25:27 Use it.

01:25:28 Aren't you angry at Ted?

01:25:30 - Yeah, I'm really mad at him.

01:25:31 - Well, what do you wanna do about it?

01:25:32 Don't you wanna get up and do something about it?

01:25:34 - Maybe.

01:25:35 Maybe that would be cool to do to him.

01:25:37 - I don't think maybe's the answer I'm looking for.

01:25:38 I think yes!

01:25:40 I'm gonna help you, Dale.

01:25:41 That's the answer I'm looking for.

01:25:43 - Come here.

01:25:45 - Ted Jones messed with the wrong melon farmers.

01:25:52 - Dog life.

01:25:56 - Throw it away for the Ask the Ask One Doggy.

01:26:03 - Oh shit.

01:26:05 Just make sure you get those.

01:26:06 I don't wanna run 'em over in the vacuum cleaner

01:26:07 and shoot my face off, okay?

01:26:09 - I'm sorry.

01:26:10 - I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.

01:26:19 Don't.

01:26:25 Don't.

01:26:28 Just something quick like that, yeah.

01:26:30 Don't, yeah.

01:26:31 Don't, stop it.

01:26:32 Stop it right now.

01:26:33 Oh God.

01:26:47 That's a big hard no.

01:26:52 I can't do this.

01:26:56 I'm sorry, man.

01:26:57 I can't do this.

01:26:58 I'm infected, my shit's all fucked up.

01:26:59 I need medical attention.

01:27:00 - What do you mean you can't?

01:27:01 I thought we just got all pumped up.

01:27:02 What was that all about?

01:27:03 - Dude, Ted is a fucking murderer.

01:27:04 I can't fuck with him.

01:27:06 I got a wife, man.

01:27:07 She's gonna be out of jail soon.

01:27:08 I wanna fuck her.

01:27:09 I wanna have sex with her.

01:27:10 I am not gonna wake up murdered tomorrow.

01:27:11 - Oh man, no.

01:27:12 This is lame, you red. - I'm really sorry, dude.

01:27:14 - Come on, this could be your moment of redemption.

01:27:16 - Fuck that.

01:27:17 - This could be your moment.

01:27:18 - I don't want a moment.

01:27:19 I don't want a, you know what?

01:27:19 Fine, go.

01:27:20 Fuck you.

01:27:21 Please come back for me.

01:27:23 Please come back.

01:27:29 - Carol is, she's cool now,

01:27:32 but Carol used to be a little crazy, man.

01:27:34 She used to throw a tickle party.

01:27:36 - Sounds like home cooking to me.

01:27:38 - That was fun.

01:27:38 - Game over, motherfuckers.

01:27:40 Everybody freeze.

01:27:41 Tell me where my friend is or this guy gets it.

01:27:43 - All right, everybody be cool, man.

01:27:45 Be cool.

01:27:46 Put your guns down.

01:27:47 Nobody shoots.

01:27:48 Don't be afraid. - Put him down.

01:27:49 On the ground.

01:27:50 - All right, everybody just chill.

01:27:51 (gunshot)

01:27:52 - Oh my God.

01:27:52 - God, Pete.

01:27:54 - Oh my God, you shot him.

01:27:55 - Put the fucking gun down.

01:27:56 Drop the fucking gun.

01:27:57 - Damn, can't you see me?

01:27:58 - Holy shit.

01:27:59 - I said nobody shoot.

01:28:00 You shot Pete.

01:28:01 - That's right, I shot him.

01:28:02 I shot him, okay?

01:28:03 I shot him.

01:28:04 I don't have time for a fucking negotiation.

01:28:06 Now, I want to finish this shit off

01:28:07 so I can go home and have dinner with my wife for once.

01:28:11 If anybody asks, then kill Pete.

01:28:13 End of story.

01:28:15 I'm telling Ted.

01:28:16 If you do. - He's got a piece.

01:28:19 - Motherfucker.

01:28:20 - Okay, I'm sorry.

01:28:21 - Oh, I got another one right in the side.

01:28:22 - Damn it.

01:28:23 Okay, I got one more in my leg.

01:28:24 There's one more.

01:28:25 I know you'll find it.

01:28:26 Just take it, just take it.

01:28:27 I'm sorry, guys.

01:28:28 - Sorry I deceived you.

01:28:29 No, come on.

01:28:30 - Jesus Christ.

01:28:32 Oh, great.

01:28:35 - Saul.

01:28:36 - Dale.

01:28:37 - Yes.

01:28:38 - What'd you do, rat me out?

01:28:39 Is that what you did, you bastard?

01:28:41 - No, man.

01:28:42 - Yes.

01:28:43 - I'm here to save you.

01:28:45 - No, you just got caught too.

01:28:47 I'm gonna die in here with some asshole.

01:28:50 - Okay, you know what?

01:28:51 I deserve that.

01:28:52 I'll take that because I have been an asshole, man.

01:28:55 This whole thing is my fault.

01:28:56 I've ruined your life, okay?

01:29:00 And I know there's no way to make that up to you

01:29:03 except by saving your life.

01:29:04 So that's what I came here to do.

01:29:05 I'm here to save my best friend

01:29:07 'cause that's what you are, man.

01:29:08 You're my best friend.

01:29:09 - You're a mean jerk.

01:29:12 - Was mean.

01:29:13 I was mean because I think I didn't,

01:29:15 I didn't want you to be my best friend.

01:29:18 I didn't wanna think that that's what my life was.

01:29:21 But now I realize I'm lucky to have you as my best friend,

01:29:23 man, you're the best guy I know.

01:29:26 - B-S-S-S?

01:29:27 - Best fucking friends forever, man, seriously.

01:29:29 - All right, give me a hug.

01:29:34 - Yeah, okay.

01:29:35 Thanks, man.

01:29:36 I'm so sorry about everything.

01:29:38 Oh, I'm such a dick.

01:29:39 Okay, I'm gonna get us out of here.

01:29:41 - No, you're not, but it's okay.

01:29:42 - Seriously, these guys are gonna fucking kill us.

01:29:44 We gotta get out of here.

01:29:45 - No, they are.

01:29:46 - Why do you have, fuck, man!

01:29:48 We can hear you outside

01:29:49 and it's very fucking annoying, all right?

01:29:52 - Okay, sorry about that, sir.

01:29:53 - Shut the fuck up!

01:29:55 Do you know what shut the fuck up mean?

01:29:57 - I do.

01:29:59 - Shit, you're a motherfucker.

01:30:01 Yes, okay, I got an idea, I got an idea.

01:30:03 My belt buckle, my belt buckle, right here, okay?

01:30:06 Rub your wrist against my belt buckle.

01:30:07 That'll do it.

01:30:09 Yeah, oh, is it working?

01:30:10 - I can't feel it.

01:30:11 - Yeah, I can't feel you.

01:30:12 - Oh, wait, I feel it.

01:30:13 - I feel it a bit, yes, okay.

01:30:15 Okay, okay.

01:30:16 I'm gonna save you, man.

01:30:18 - Yeah, yeah.

01:30:19 - Let me save you.

01:30:20 - Save me, yeah.

01:30:21 - It's not working, okay, wait, we gotta change angles.

01:30:22 We gotta get more livergy, okay?

01:30:24 - Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's good, that's good.

01:30:27 Get your hands up on it, there we go.

01:30:29 Yeah, okay, yeah, yes, yes!

01:30:34 - Okay.

01:30:35 - I'm gonna save you, man.

01:30:36 - Yeah.

01:30:37 - I'm gonna save you.

01:30:38 You're my best friend, man.

01:30:38 - Yeah, see?

01:30:39 - Okay, it's not working.

01:30:40 - It's not?

01:30:41 - Here, let me use my mouth, I'll use my mouth.

01:30:42 That'll do it.

01:30:43 - Okay.

01:30:43 - Finish it off with my mouth, pal.

01:30:44 Let's go, come on, let's go.

01:30:46 (grunting)

01:30:49 (sizzling)

01:30:52 - Where are these fuckers?

01:30:59 - We got 'em downstairs.

01:31:00 - Where'd you find 'em?

01:31:01 - We found Saul at his grandmother's.

01:31:03 He fucked up Matheson's face,

01:31:04 hit him with a pot of hot coffee, it's gross.

01:31:07 Dale Denton comes flying in here like a madman,

01:31:10 armed to the teeth, and as you can see, he shot Peter.

01:31:14 Plugged him, just whacked him.

01:31:15 And now they're both disarmed and they're downstairs.

01:31:20 He shot Pete, fucking Pete, he was ex-CIA.

01:31:24 - Who the fuck is this Dale Denton?

01:31:26 - Who is he, where did he come from, I do not know.

01:31:29 (dramatic music)

01:31:32 (speaking in foreign language)

01:31:38 - No retreat, no surrender.

01:31:44 (dramatic music)

01:31:47 - Yes, yes, yes.

01:31:51 - Wait, wait, someone's coming.

01:31:52 - Okay, okay, okay, okay.

01:31:55 If I cough once, I'll take the lead.

01:31:57 If I cough twice, you go, okay?

01:31:58 - What, if I have to, I cough sometimes, don't I?

01:32:00 - Just don't, don't.

01:32:01 (clearing throat)

01:32:06 Yo, look, I'm gonna say this one time.

01:32:11 Whatever you're doing, I get it, okay?

01:32:15 Stop.

01:32:16 (clearing throat)

01:32:19 See, I don't think you understood me.

01:32:23 I can hear everything you're saying out there.

01:32:25 One cough mean you go, two cough mean you take the lead.

01:32:28 The belt buckle, best friends forever.

01:32:31 Y'all fucking your own time, man.

01:32:33 - Sorry, man, it was a stupid plan.

01:32:35 - What the fuck is that?

01:32:36 (screaming)

01:32:39 - Dale!

01:32:40 (screaming)

01:32:43 - You've been waiting for this, right in my face, huh?

01:32:48 (grunting)

01:32:50 - Tear this ass up.

01:32:52 (grunting)

01:32:54 (gun firing)

01:32:56 - You shot me.

01:33:01 - I'm sorry, man.

01:33:02 - I ain't never been shot.

01:33:05 - Dale, man, I heard you.

01:33:06 I got glass in my ass.

01:33:08 Dale.

01:33:09 - Oh, that's messed up.

01:33:10 - Dale!

01:33:11 - Has anyone seen my bigger knife?

01:33:13 (gun firing)

01:33:15 (screaming)

01:33:17 (gun firing)

01:33:20 - Don't you get up.

01:33:23 Easy, take it out to my controller.

01:33:25 (screaming)

01:33:27 (gun firing)

01:33:30 - Get out, motherfucker.

01:33:33 (gun firing)

01:33:35 (grunting)

01:33:37 (gun firing)

01:33:40 (gun firing)

01:33:45 (screaming)

01:33:49 - No, no!

01:33:52 (gun firing)

01:33:53 - Get down, baby!

01:33:55 - Dale, no!

01:33:56 No, wake up, man.

01:33:58 No, you're not dying, man.

01:34:00 Not without me.

01:34:01 Dale.

01:34:04 - What?

01:34:05 - You're alive.

01:34:07 You're alive.

01:34:08 What happened?

01:34:09 - He got your ear, man.

01:34:12 - He got my what?

01:34:13 - He got your ear.

01:34:14 - Ow, fuck!

01:34:15 Ow, ow, fuck!

01:34:16 Ow, ow!

01:34:19 Help, my ear.

01:34:22 - Yeah.

01:34:23 - Help!

01:34:24 You killed my ear.

01:34:25 - You shot me.

01:34:26 - I didn't do that.

01:34:27 - He shot me.

01:34:28 - You shot him?

01:34:29 - Get your hands off me.

01:34:30 - Shut up.

01:34:31 We got enough out of you.

01:34:33 - I'm not your friend.

01:34:34 Maybe I can just...

01:34:36 - No, no, you're infected.

01:34:38 - Is that it?

01:34:40 Maybe we just hold it.

01:34:41 (gun firing)

01:34:45 (man screaming)

01:34:48 (gun firing)

01:34:50 - Clear.

01:35:18 - Dude, look.

01:35:19 - Nice.

01:35:21 - So seriously, how gross does my ear look?

01:35:47 Is it really disgusting or is it like kinda cool in a way?

01:35:49 - Right now it's pretty disgusting.

01:35:53 I feel like I can smell it.

01:35:54 - Oh.

01:35:55 - Don't worry, bro.

01:35:56 Think about what Vanderholy feel.

01:35:57 Can't even tell.

01:35:59 - That's a good point.

01:36:00 - Wait.

01:36:01 (gun firing)

01:36:10 (gun firing)

01:36:13 (gun firing)

01:36:16 (gun firing)

01:36:44 - Did you shoot that guy?

01:36:45 - No, you're out of bullets.

01:36:47 - Me too.

01:36:48 Maybe it was ricochet.

01:36:50 - Gravity.

01:36:52 - Oh, nice.

01:36:54 - You go down.

01:36:56 - I'll cover.

01:36:59 - Oh, it's my back.

01:37:00 I'll go down and take care of this.

01:37:02 - Sexy motherfucker.

01:37:08 (gun firing)

01:37:11 (gun firing)

01:37:13 - No, no, there might be more bad guys up there.

01:37:30 Here, we'll sneak out through the vent.

01:37:31 Come on.

01:37:32 I'll boost you up, okay?

01:37:33 And then you pull me up, okay?

01:37:35 Oh, good.

01:37:40 Here we go.

01:37:41 Okay.

01:37:42 Get up.

01:37:43 Yeah.

01:37:44 Yes.

01:37:45 Nice.

01:37:46 Nice.

01:37:49 Nice.

01:37:50 Okay.

01:37:52 Pull me up.

01:37:53 I'm ready.

01:37:54 Go.

01:37:55 - Give it to me.

01:37:56 - Come on.

01:37:57 Be taller.

01:37:58 - Be stronger.

01:37:58 - I can't get it.

01:38:00 - Pull harder.

01:38:00 - Yeah, come on.

01:38:01 - Pull.

01:38:02 Pull me.

01:38:03 Come on, man.

01:38:04 - No.

01:38:05 - I'm jumping as high as I can.

01:38:06 - Hey.

01:38:07 (gun firing)

01:38:10 - Get out.

01:38:11 - I'll get help.

01:38:12 I'll get help.

01:38:12 - Go ahead and run, you little dip shit.

01:38:16 I'll find you.

01:38:17 (gun firing)

01:38:19 (grunting)

01:38:23 (dramatic music)

01:38:26 (panting)

01:38:28 (dramatic music)

01:38:34 (grunting)

01:38:53 (gun firing)

01:38:55 - You.

01:38:56 (gun firing)

01:38:59 (dramatic music)

01:39:01 (gun firing)

01:39:15 (dramatic music)

01:39:18 (dramatic music)

01:39:21 (grunting)

01:39:35 (grunting)

01:39:41 (dramatic music)

01:39:44 - Oh no.

01:39:46 - Give me that fire extinguisher.

01:39:48 - Okay.

01:39:49 (gun firing)

01:39:51 (screaming)

01:40:00 - No, no, no.

01:40:01 (screaming)

01:40:05 - You and me, baby.

01:40:11 Drop it now.

01:40:12 Put the bag down.

01:40:14 Now.

01:40:16 (gun firing)

01:40:18 (screaming)

01:40:21 (gun firing)

01:40:25 - Fuck you.

01:40:31 - Fuck the police.

01:40:38 (gun firing)

01:40:42 (dramatic music)

01:40:45 (screaming)

01:40:51 (screaming)

01:40:57 - I'm gonna fucking kill you.

01:41:02 (grunting)

01:41:04 - Why are you doing this to me?

01:41:06 - Why are you doing this to me?

01:41:08 Shit.

01:41:09 (gun firing)

01:41:10 (grunting)

01:41:12 - I hate you.

01:41:20 (grunting)

01:41:22 - God, stop it.

01:41:23 (grunting)

01:41:25 - Come on, bitch.

01:41:31 Come on, I'll twist your balls so tight.

01:41:33 - You're in the jungle now, baby.

01:41:34 (grunting)

01:41:37 - No.

01:41:38 (grunting)

01:41:40 - Oh, Jesus.

01:41:41 Oh, Jesus.

01:41:43 (screaming)

01:41:47 - Fuck.

01:41:52 (grunting)

01:41:54 - Gonna die.

01:42:06 - I didn't wanna do that.

01:42:08 But you weren't gonna stop.

01:42:11 - Shoot him.

01:42:19 - Just take it easy, buddy.

01:42:22 - Shoot him, you dumb fuck.

01:42:26 - I'm hungry.

01:42:30 I'm going home.

01:42:32 (dramatic music)

01:42:35 - All right.

01:42:38 (groaning)

01:42:43 (gun firing)

01:42:44 - Ooh.

01:42:45 - I knew you'd go on soft.

01:42:47 Dinner's gonna be cold tonight, asshole.

01:42:50 - You fucked up, man.

01:42:52 - Well, lookie here, Mr. Folgers.

01:42:57 - What's up, Sal?

01:43:00 - Look, I didn't wanna hit you, man.

01:43:02 - Shut the fuck up.

01:43:03 You think you was gonna get me, motherfucker?

01:43:07 Huh?

01:43:08 You need to sit your little sexy ass down

01:43:11 and watch yourself get killed now.

01:43:14 - All right.

01:43:15 You know what?

01:43:16 This is how it's gonna be.

01:43:17 All right.

01:43:19 This is how it ends.

01:43:20 (gun firing)

01:43:26 (screaming)

01:43:28 (crashing)

01:43:31 - You just got killed by a dewulanos, motherfucker.

01:43:42 How you like me now, huh?

01:43:43 (gun firing)

01:43:45 - Gross.

01:43:45 - Red?

01:43:46 - Sal.

01:43:48 Hey, Sal.

01:43:50 I came back for you, bro.

01:43:52 - Yeah.

01:43:52 - I remembered, man.

01:43:54 Bros before hoes.

01:43:56 - You lied to me.

01:43:57 - I did, I lied big time to you.

01:43:59 - Dale said that you didn't even have herpes

01:44:03 and I said that you did.

01:44:04 - Honestly, like from now on,

01:44:06 just like from everything that we've gone through

01:44:08 and like from seeing this fucking assholes

01:44:10 nuts smashed with my dewu,

01:44:12 I just, I wouldn't be a better friend to you.

01:44:14 Like I really am.

01:44:16 - I fucking love you, dog.

01:44:17 Fucking love you.

01:44:19 - I wanna be inside you, Holmes.

01:44:21 - No more lies, Red.

01:44:24 - This is my moment.

01:44:26 - This is your moment.

01:44:27 (gun firing)

01:44:30 - Red!

01:44:30 (dramatic music)

01:44:34 - You know what?

01:44:50 I'm feeling it.

01:44:52 Red, I'm coming, baby.

01:44:54 - Your stupidity amazes me.

01:44:57 (grunting)

01:44:59 - Hey, Ted, you killed my brother.

01:45:03 Caucasian, son of cock sucker.

01:45:06 Suck my balls, two times.

01:45:09 (grunting)

01:45:12 - Bitch.

01:45:18 - Bring it on.

01:45:19 (explosion)

01:45:25 (explosion)

01:45:28 - Shit, Dale.

01:45:32 Dale!

01:45:35 Oh, Dale!

01:45:37 (explosion)

01:45:41 (tires screeching)

01:45:48 (explosion)

01:45:50 (dramatic music)

01:45:53 (coughing)

01:46:01 - Sorry, Ted.

01:46:20 - Cuban serve.

01:46:21 (coughing)

01:46:25 - Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

01:46:34 (explosion)

01:46:37 - Sol, Sol!

01:46:39 Wake up, man, this place is gonna collapse, come on!

01:46:49 Come to me!

01:46:50 You're not dying today, friend.

01:46:55 Not on my watch!

01:46:57 (screaming)

01:46:59 (dramatic music)

01:47:02 (explosion)

01:47:04 Sol, wake up, man, please!

01:47:27 Sol, wake up!

01:47:31 Oh, sweet Sol!

01:47:32 Sol!

01:47:37 Yes, yeah!

01:47:43 Sol, you made it!

01:47:45 Yeah!

01:47:47 You made it, man.

01:47:52 You came back for me.

01:47:55 Oh, thank you.

01:47:57 What happened?

01:48:00 (explosion)

01:48:02 Holy shit.

01:48:07 What's that?

01:48:13 - I'm sorry.

01:48:18 - Red?

01:48:20 Red?

01:48:24 Red, where'd you come from, man?

01:48:30 Where'd he come from?

01:48:31 - He came back to save us.

01:48:33 - He saved us?

01:48:33 - Yeah.

01:48:34 - All right, man.

01:48:36 We all saved each other.

01:48:37 - Yeah.

01:48:38 - Oh, man.

01:48:39 We made it, guys.

01:48:41 We made it.

01:48:42 - Hello, you're listening to PPRPVP.

01:48:53 I am Dale Denton, the topic of the day,

01:48:56 new beginnings, getting over losses, friends, life.

01:49:00 We have our first caller.

01:49:05 Yes, ring, ring, ring.

01:49:06 How's it going?

01:49:07 - Hi.

01:49:08 Am I on the air?

01:49:09 - You are, you're about to get D'd by the Dale.

01:49:12 A D in the face.

01:49:13 - Dale Denton?

01:49:14 - Yeah.

01:49:15 - You're my hero.

01:49:16 - Oh, you're my hero.

01:49:18 Yay!

01:49:20 - You are good, man, seriously.

01:49:22 - I gotta admit, yeah.

01:49:24 - It sounds pretty good.

01:49:25 - It sounds real, dude.

01:49:26 - Not bad, huh?

01:49:27 - If I close my eyes, it does sound like,

01:49:29 yeah, that's the voice.

01:49:29 - You are on the radio.

01:49:30 - That's the radio.

01:49:31 - This is the radio.

01:49:32 - That's a DJ.

01:49:33 - No, but better.

01:49:34 Like, if you were on it, I would listen to it.

01:49:35 - Thanks, man.

01:49:36 - It's like when my Bubby was always playing opera,

01:49:37 I was like, I hated it, but my Bubby loves it.

01:49:40 - And it grows on you.

01:49:41 - It grows on you.

01:49:42 - It grows on you.

01:49:42 - I guess, yeah.

01:49:43 - It's like Red.

01:49:44 I didn't like Red when I first met him, I'll be honest.

01:49:45 - You didn't like me?

01:49:46 - No, but you liked him so much, I like you now.

01:49:49 (laughing)

01:49:50 - Pop pop, seriously, I know this sounds weird,

01:49:52 but can we be best friends, just us, for real?

01:49:54 - I think we should all be best friends.

01:49:55 - We should be.

01:49:56 - You guys are my best friends.

01:49:56 - Seriously, man.

01:49:57 - We shared a moment.

01:49:58 - You guys were like both of my best friends,

01:49:59 and you didn't even know it, but now you know it,

01:50:01 and we'll all be best friends.

01:50:02 - You know what we should get?

01:50:02 You know those hearts that break up,

01:50:04 and it's like best friends?

01:50:05 We should get like a three-way one of those, man.

01:50:05 - Three-way.

01:50:06 - I don't even know if they fucking make those.

01:50:08 - We should make the first one.

01:50:09 - We should make three-way.

01:50:11 - I want the middle piece that'll be crooked on both sides.

01:50:13 - I know we've gone over this again and again,

01:50:14 but like, thousand pardons, thousand pardons, please.

01:50:17 - Me too, man, I was a dick to you, man, I'm sorry.

01:50:20 - I know that I was an asshole,

01:50:21 I hope I redeemed myself with you.

01:50:23 - And I know me and you have had our deal.

01:50:24 - We've had some times, yeah.

01:50:25 - But I kinda feel like something's happening here.

01:50:27 - I think it's growing.

01:50:28 - Was that a boner?

01:50:29 - Is that a condo?

01:50:30 Is that us moving into an apartment together?

01:50:32 - Is that us getting a timeshare?

01:50:33 - He threw an ashtray at his face.

01:50:34 - You hit me, man.

01:50:36 - At the time, I was like, whoa, but I was kinda funny.

01:50:39 - You hit me with the dust buster.

01:50:40 (laughing)

01:50:41 - I didn't wanna hurt you, but it was like,

01:50:43 you better fucking not leave here.

01:50:44 - That was such a good fight, man.

01:50:46 - That was, you fucking.

01:50:48 - The car chase was pretty awesome.

01:50:50 - You guys had no fucking cars?

01:50:50 - Yeah, it was awesome.

01:50:51 - Are you fucking kidding me?

01:50:52 - Yeah, it was pretty cool.

01:50:53 - Oh my God.

01:50:54 - I like, had my foot through the window.

01:50:56 (laughing)

01:50:58 My groin, I mean, I felt like a wishbone.

01:51:00 (laughing)

01:51:03 - I always feel different about everything now.

01:51:04 - Me too, man, everything.

01:51:07 - I never wanna kill anybody else again.

01:51:08 Ever.

01:51:09 - Yeah, that's something you pretty much,

01:51:10 you can just kinda dip your toes into, you know?

01:51:13 We kinda dipped our toes into murder.

01:51:14 - I killed like six guys, I think.

01:51:16 How many guys did we, we shot like several people.

01:51:19 - A lot of people, some people get a taste for it,

01:51:21 but I don't, man.

01:51:21 - I shot someone who was already dead,

01:51:23 so that doesn't really count as a murder.

01:51:25 - But apparently you hit him with your car, I'm told.

01:51:27 That, you killed him.

01:51:28 - Okay, so I did murder somebody.

01:51:29 - Crazy.

01:51:30 - You murdered, man.

01:51:31 - Not a big deal, that's cool.

01:51:32 - That's cool, whatever, kill or be killed, right?

01:51:34 - Yeah, I know.

01:51:35 - I'm trying to decide how stoned I am,

01:51:36 and just how on the verge of death am I right now.

01:51:39 Is like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned,

01:51:41 or because I have no blood left in my body?

01:51:43 - You've been shot like seven times.

01:51:44 - You gotta eat more.

01:51:45 - You gotta eat.

01:51:46 - You're losing stuff.

01:51:47 - Yeah.

01:51:48 - Here.

01:51:49 - Yeah, okay.

01:51:50 - Here.

01:51:50 - You're fine.

01:51:51 - You look like a baby.

01:51:52 - No, I'm good.

01:51:53 (laughing)

01:51:56 - It's a miracle.

01:51:56 I think we should just all take a moment

01:51:58 and think about what a miracle it is that we got out of there.

01:52:01 - And that we all became friends in the process,

01:52:03 and like, kind of learned some shit about life and stuff.

01:52:06 - Should we put our hands, should we touch each other's hands?

01:52:07 - I'll do it.

01:52:08 - Okay.

01:52:09 - All right.

01:52:10 - I love you, Dad.

01:52:13 - I love you, dude, so much.

01:52:15 - I remember that, too.

01:52:21 - Red?

01:52:23 - Red.

01:52:24 Yo, Red, man.

01:52:25 - Ooh.

01:52:26 - You alive?

01:52:26 - What's up, pal?

01:52:28 - Oh, hey.

01:52:29 - Hey.

01:52:29 - I'm like the nerd at the sleepover,

01:52:32 and y'all sleep at nine.

01:52:34 - It's okay, we won't put our dicks in your mouth.

01:52:35 (laughing)

01:52:37 - There's Bubby.

01:52:38 - Oh.

01:52:40 - What?

01:52:41 - Get outta here.

01:52:42 - Yeah, you know what, maybe we should go to the doctor.

01:52:44 - Should we go?

01:52:45 - Oh, dude, you think you'll drive me to the hospital?

01:52:46 - Me too, I just got the ear bug.

01:52:47 - Yeah.

01:52:48 - Yeah, I already smoked up.

01:52:49 - My ear.

01:52:50 - Welcome to professional attention.

01:52:50 - It is bad.

01:52:51 - Whoa.

01:52:52 - That's a bullet burn.

01:52:54 - It's either I'm getting rid of the hirament,

01:52:55 or I'm getting a massive shit.

01:52:56 - I know.

01:52:57 - I'm gonna get me an ozomite.

01:52:58 - What?

01:52:59 - For my ears.

01:53:00 - Just gotta be in the shower.

01:53:01 - You guys smell like shit.

01:53:02 - Yeah, we do.

01:53:03 (upbeat music)

01:53:06 ♪ I'm reaching your brains from the deep of your tongue ♪

01:53:09 ♪ I woke up laughing ♪

01:53:11 ♪ I broke into my sweat ♪

01:53:13 ♪ I broke into a run ♪

01:53:14 ♪ You were hotter than my heels so I hide a gun ♪

01:53:17 ♪ I woke up laughing ♪

01:53:33 ♪ I'd rather grab your gin and get all your gear ♪

01:53:38 ♪ We got problems ♪

01:53:44 ♪ We gotta get out of here ♪

01:53:48 ♪ But I got you and you got me ♪

01:53:51 ♪ And we're as high as we can be ♪

01:53:54 ♪ So it's all right ♪

01:53:57 ♪ Oh yeah, it's all right ♪

01:54:01 ♪ It's not your fault and it's not mine ♪

01:54:05 ♪ I was just in the wrong place and time ♪

01:54:08 ♪ Now there's trouble ♪

01:54:11 ♪ Oh yeah, trouble ♪

01:54:15 ♪ And how did we get into this mess ♪

01:54:20 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:54:24 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:54:28 ♪ Whoa, totally gone 'cause we're on ♪

01:54:31 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:54:34 ♪ Better keep your head down ♪

01:54:38 ♪ And be as cool as you can ♪

01:54:41 ♪ You're our guide us ♪

01:54:44 ♪ Oh, a new evacuation plan ♪

01:54:49 ♪ Just stay low, follow me ♪

01:54:52 ♪ They can't see what we can see ♪

01:54:55 ♪ 'Cause we're on it ♪

01:54:58 ♪ Yeah, it's the chronic ♪

01:55:03 ♪ Don't get excited, just get your head right ♪

01:55:06 ♪ We'll stick together if it takes all night ♪

01:55:09 ♪ But it's all right ♪

01:55:12 ♪ Yeah, it's all right ♪

01:55:16 ♪ And how did we get into this mess ♪

01:55:21 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:55:25 ♪ Get used to the stress ♪

01:55:30 ♪ Right you find the kind ♪

01:55:32 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:55:35 ♪ We're on the express ♪

01:55:39 ♪ The best in the west ♪

01:55:43 ♪ Yeah, with the rest it's the best ♪

01:55:45 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:55:48, (coughs) excuse me.

01:55:53, (coughs) excuse me.

01:55:58 (upbeat music)

01:56:01 (inhales)

01:56:09 (coughs)

01:56:16 (upbeat music)

01:56:18 (upbeat music)

01:56:21 ♪ And how will we get out of this mess ♪

01:56:35 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:56:41 ♪ Can't deal with the stress ♪

01:56:45 ♪ Oh, totally go 'cause we're on ♪

01:56:48 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:56:51 ♪ Get on the express ♪

01:56:54 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:56:58 ♪ Oh, yeah, it's the best for the rest ♪

01:57:01 ♪ The Pineapple Express ♪

01:57:05 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

01:57:09 ♪ It's so fine ♪

01:57:11 ♪ Oh, it's the kind ♪

01:57:15 ♪ Pineapple Express ♪

01:57:18 (coughs)

01:57:20 (upbeat music)

01:57:23 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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