• last year
When recently single Steven moves into his new apartment, cable guy Chip comes to hook him up—and doesn't let go. Init | dG1fWGoyNTlQaV92ckE
Transcript
00:00 *knocking*
00:02 *knocking*
00:04 *knocking*
00:06 *knocking*
00:08 Cable Guy!
00:10 Let's do this!
00:12 Slip the Cable Guy 50 bucks,
00:14 he'll give you all the movie channels for free.
00:16 You're offering me a bribe.
00:18 What you have just done is illegal,
00:20 and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000,
00:22 or spend six months in a correctional facility.
00:24 Oh, please, no, that was dumb.
00:26 I was just making conversation.
00:28 *laughing*
00:30 I just took your tape.
00:32 I'll juice you up.
00:34 For Stephen Kovacs,
00:36 Hey!
00:38 You guys play here too?
00:40 Cool.
00:42 The price of cable just went up.
00:44 Okay, Chip Douglas, you're on my team, let's play.
00:46 No way.
00:48 I'm on Stephen's team.
00:50 No.
00:52 We're not friends, I don't even know you.
00:54 Well, let's fix that.
00:56 He's got a friend he can't control.
00:58 Where are we going?
01:00 Only the finest restaurant in town.
01:02 Can I have your skin?
01:04 Check this out.
01:06 Silence of the lands.
01:08 I just don't have any room in my life for a new friend.
01:10 So, what are you trying to say?
01:12 A friend who will not be ignored.
01:14 I gave you free cable.
01:16 The guy's a socialite.
01:18 I'm not a socialite.
01:20 I'm a friend who will not be ignored.
01:22 I gave you free cable.
01:24 The guy's a sociopath.
01:26 He leaves messages on my machine night and day.
01:28 If you're there, pick up.
01:30 Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
01:32 He shows up wherever I go, he won't leave me alone.
01:34 He's gonna need some tough love.
01:36 There's Stephen Kovacs in here.
01:38 I'm Stephen Kovacs.
01:40 I didn't do anything.
01:42 Just call my cable guy.
01:44 Police look into it.
01:46 Nobody named Chip Douglas works for the cable company.
01:48 You're all being fooled by him.
01:50 He's a lunatic and he's a felon.
01:52 Don't mess with me.
01:54 Come back here so that I may pay thee!
01:56 I'm here for you.
01:58 Don't do that, you're gonna get me killed.
02:00 Oh, Billy.
02:02 (laughing)
02:04 Jim Carrey.
02:06 Matthew Broderick.
02:08 The Cable Guy.
02:10 Okay, I'm going. Take off.
02:12 (music)
02:14 (music)
02:16 (music)
02:18 (music)
02:20 (music)
02:22 (music)
02:24 [ Silence ]