• 2 years ago
Transcript
00:00:00 [Music]
00:00:02 [Music]
00:00:04 [Music]
00:00:06 (soft piano music)
00:00:09 (soft piano music)
00:00:12 (soft piano music)
00:00:15 (soft piano music)
00:00:18 (thunder rumbling)
00:00:45 (rain pattering)
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00:01:17 (thunder rumbling)
00:01:22 (thunder rumbling)
00:01:27 (thunder rumbling)
00:01:30 - I love you.
00:01:49 (rain pattering)
00:01:52 - Mama?
00:02:05 - I'm here, baby.
00:02:07 - What's going on?
00:02:09 - I just came to tell you how much I love you.
00:02:12 - Okay.
00:02:14 Thank you.
00:02:15 Good night.
00:02:18 See you in the morning.
00:02:19 - Good night.
00:02:28 - Bye.
00:02:30 (rain pattering)
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00:03:21 (rain pattering)
00:03:24 (rain pattering)
00:03:27 (dog barking)
00:03:30 (rain pattering)
00:03:33 (door slamming)
00:03:39 (rain pattering)
00:03:42 - Do you know why?
00:03:58 Daddy!
00:04:07 - Lauren, hey baby.
00:04:11 You having fun with Aunt Vanessa and Uncle Scott?
00:04:16 - I wanna go home with you.
00:04:19 - I know, baby.
00:04:21 Can you go play for a minute?
00:04:25 (door creaking)
00:04:28 Can you guys take them tonight?
00:04:41 - Where are you going?
00:04:44 - Home.
00:04:46 Do you think that's a good idea?
00:04:50 I need some time.
00:04:52 (paper rustling)
00:04:55 - Yeah, I guess.
00:04:57 - Thanks.
00:05:01 (somber music)
00:05:06 (somber music)
00:05:08 (somber music)
00:05:11 (somber music)
00:05:14 (door creaking)
00:05:42 (door creaking)
00:05:44 (somber music)
00:05:47 (somber music)
00:05:50 (somber music)
00:05:52 (somber music)
00:05:55 (somber music)
00:05:57 (somber music)
00:06:00 (somber music)
00:06:02 (somber music)
00:06:06 (somber music)
00:06:09 (somber music)
00:06:38 - Can you tell the story first?
00:06:40 Please?
00:06:42 - Once upon a time,
00:06:45 there was a monster.
00:06:48 Lauren, tell Mama what kind of monster it was.
00:06:51 - A tickle monster!
00:06:52 - That's right, a tickle monster.
00:06:55 This tickle monster loved to tickle.
00:07:00 He couldn't get enough tickles!
00:07:03 (laughing)
00:07:06 But the tickle monster had one weakness.
00:07:11 Lauren, tell Mama what that was.
00:07:14 - A hug from a snuggle bug!
00:07:15 - A hug from a snuggle bug is the only thing
00:07:19 that could keep a tickle monster at bay.
00:07:21 So, one day, the tickle--
00:07:25 (gasping)
00:07:27 Oh no.
00:07:28 Oh no, I can't, something's coming out!
00:07:31 I can't stop it!
00:07:33 The tickle monster!
00:07:34 (screaming)
00:07:37 - Come on, come on!
00:07:40 - Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:07:42 (screaming)
00:07:45 (laughing)
00:07:47, I don't know if you guys heard,
00:07:52 but Beth took her own life over the weekend.
00:07:57 So, obviously, we'll, she'll be out for a while.
00:08:02 We got a lot of work ahead of us.
00:08:04 We gotta keep our focus, okay?
00:08:06 Construction will go on, and we'll be out of here.
00:08:09 We'll be out of here.
00:08:10 (laughing)
00:08:13 (thudding)
00:08:15 So, I don't know if you guys heard,
00:08:17 but Beth took her own life over the weekend.
00:08:20 So, obviously, we'll, she'll be out for a while.
00:08:26 We got a lot of work ahead of us.
00:08:29 We gotta keep our focus, okay?
00:08:31 Construction will go on, as normal.
00:08:33 All right, all right, I'll see you over there.
00:08:36 Hey, what'd I miss?
00:08:43 - You're 20 minutes late, Ken.
00:08:44 - Yeah, yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
00:08:48 - Ken, Will's dealing with some family issues right now,
00:08:52 and we're gonna be short-staffed.
00:08:55 I need you here.
00:08:56 - Oh, yeah, of course, I'll do my best.
00:09:01 - Look, this is your last warning.
00:09:07 Next time, I'll have to let you go,
00:09:11 and I really don't wanna do that.
00:09:12 - Thanks.
00:09:16 - All right?
00:09:17 - I have a few questions for you.
00:09:31 - Seems everyone does.
00:09:33 - Do you know where you'll be holding the ceremony?
00:09:36 - Grace Church.
00:09:39 - Will you be having an open casket?
00:09:41 - I guess I hadn't thought about that.
00:09:44 - What were her final wishes?
00:09:46 I just need you to fill out this form here.
00:10:01 (Will sighs)
00:10:03 - I don't really know how to answer
00:10:17 some of these questions.
00:10:18 We never talked about cremation or open casket.
00:10:23 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
00:10:26 - It's okay.
00:10:27 I'm sorry.
00:10:27 (papers rustling)
00:10:30 - Oh, you missed a line.
00:10:39 - I don't know what it should say.
00:10:45 - Well, most people just talk about their loved ones.
00:10:49 How do you want her to be remembered?
00:10:51 - She killed herself, Jill.
00:10:58 - I don't feel like I ever really knew her.
00:11:00 (indistinct)
00:11:05 - All I can say is she was not feeling God's true love.
00:11:19 Without that, she felt hopeless and alone.
00:11:22 - But she wasn't alone.
00:11:23 She had a family.
00:11:26 - Most people who commit suicide aren't alone.
00:11:29 They just start painting this picture in their mind
00:11:31 that killing themself is the only way out.
00:11:34 I'll be here for you, Will, whatever you need.
00:11:39 But I wanna refer you to someone,
00:11:42 someone I regard very highly.
00:11:44 - You wanna send me to someone else?
00:11:47 - Dr. Emma Walker.
00:11:50 She specializes in suicide
00:11:52 and leads meetings here at the church once a month.
00:11:56 Next to Jesus, she'll be your best resource.
00:12:01 (crickets chirping)
00:12:07 - Thanks, babe.
00:12:17 Okay.
00:12:22 - You ready?
00:12:23 - I hope so.
00:12:24 What do you think?
00:12:24 What do you think?
00:12:25 Does it look good?
00:12:26 I don't know.
00:12:27 All right.
00:12:28 (car horn honking)
00:12:29 He's gonna kill me.
00:12:30 He's gonna kill me.
00:12:31 I gotta go.
00:12:32 - He's my brother.
00:12:33 He can wait.
00:12:33 - Oh, honey.
00:12:34 - Good luck.
00:12:35 - Bye.
00:12:36 I love you.
00:12:37 I love you.
00:12:38 I love you.
00:12:38 (door opening)
00:12:41 - What took you so long?
00:12:48 - Your sister.
00:12:51 - Good luck, kiss.
00:12:52 - Things I put up with her.
00:12:55 (laughing)
00:12:57 - I couldn't believe what he said after that.
00:13:02 It was...
00:13:02 (laughing)
00:13:03 You should have been there, dude.
00:13:05 That was...
00:13:06 (door opening)
00:13:07 - Mr. Johnson?
00:13:08 Mr. Johnson?
00:13:12 Hello?
00:13:13 - He's not here.
00:13:16 - He'll be here.
00:13:17 - I wouldn't put it past him not to show up.
00:13:21 - Will, Scott.
00:13:23 - Good morning, Mr. Johnson.
00:13:24 - See, we just have to...
00:13:25 - Yeah, I just...
00:13:26 Job's yours.
00:13:29 - Wow, really?
00:13:31 - Just don't make me regret this.
00:13:33 Got it?
00:13:34 - Well, no, of course.
00:13:35 - Because if you do,
00:13:36 I'll make sure that you never work in this town again.
00:13:38 (phone ringing)
00:13:39 Got it?
00:13:40 - I'm sorry.
00:13:41 I'm sorry.
00:13:41 My apologies.
00:13:42 Sorry.
00:13:43 (phone beeping)
00:13:46 - Call Margaret in the morning.
00:13:47 She'll get everything finalized.
00:13:49 (footsteps)
00:13:51 - Thank you.
00:13:55 - Well, wasn't he just a field of daisies?
00:14:00 - On a bright, sunny day.
00:14:02 - Doesn't matter what he is.
00:14:03 He just gave us the biggest project of our lives.
00:14:06 - Oh my goodness!
00:14:07 - We got the job!
00:14:09 We got the job!
00:14:10 - We got the job!
00:14:12 - Woo!
00:14:15 (footsteps)
00:14:19 (sighs)
00:14:21 (footsteps)
00:14:46 - Girls are finally asleep.
00:14:48 - How are you doing?
00:14:52 - I'm not.
00:14:54 - We'll get through this.
00:14:59 - I don't see how.
00:15:06 There's no light at the end of the tunnel for this one.
00:15:11 Girls are never gonna have their mom.
00:15:16 Will is never gonna have a normal relationship again.
00:15:19 Nothing's ever gonna be the same.
00:15:27 I loved her, Scott.
00:15:31 She was my best friend.
00:15:32 (car engine)
00:15:36 (car engine)
00:15:39 (sobs)
00:16:03 (car horn)
00:16:05 (sighs)
00:16:09 - Is he okay?
00:16:13 - I don't know.
00:16:19 You think I should go over there and talk to him?
00:16:27 - No, no, I don't wanna smother him.
00:16:33 (sighs)
00:16:35 I hate that Beth did this.
00:16:38 I hate this!
00:16:40 (sighs)
00:16:45 - I'll go talk to him, okay?
00:16:52 Go.
00:16:54 (sobs)
00:17:01 (thuds)
00:17:03 - Good morning, hon.
00:17:27 I wanted to be the first to say congrats
00:17:29 on the big job.
00:17:30 I know Mike hasn't made it official yet, but he will.
00:17:33 You are an amazing man,
00:17:34 and I know he will see that too.
00:17:36 I love you, Will.
00:17:38 - Why would she say that?
00:17:45 - Will, I-- - What happened?
00:17:53 She said she loved me.
00:17:58 She said she was proud of me.
00:18:00 Why would she wanna kill herself?
00:18:05 What caused her to change so drastically?
00:18:09 Did I do something wrong?
00:18:14 Did she do something wrong?
00:18:18 - I don't know.
00:18:26 (sighs)
00:18:28 I don't think there are any solid answers right now.
00:18:31 But you and I,
00:18:38 we, we both know
00:18:43 she loved you and the girls.
00:18:46 - Loved us?
00:18:47 She loved us enough to leave us!
00:18:54 You know, it seems like she hated her life with us so much
00:18:59 that she decided to kill herself.
00:19:02 That's not love.
00:19:03 (sniffs)
00:19:09 (somber music)
00:19:12 (ominous music)
00:19:15 (ominous music)
00:19:18 (ominous music)
00:19:20 (ominous music)
00:19:32 (ominous music)
00:19:44 (ominous music)
00:19:47 (ominous music)
00:19:50 (ominous music)
00:19:52 (ominous music)
00:19:57 (ominous music)
00:20:03 (ominous music)
00:20:10 (ominous music)
00:20:16 (ominous music)
00:20:18 (ominous music)
00:20:22 (ominous music)
00:20:27 (ominous music)
00:20:31 (ominous music)
00:20:35 (ominous music)
00:20:43 (ominous music)
00:20:45 (ominous music)
00:20:52 (sniffs)
00:21:06 (sobs)
00:21:08 Why would you do this to me?
00:21:27 How could you let this happen?
00:21:31 (sobs)
00:21:33 I always did what's right.
00:21:41 I loved her!
00:21:48 (gunshot)
00:21:50 (sobs)
00:21:58 (sobs)
00:22:00 Where's Mom?
00:22:17 She left.
00:22:19 Where did she go?
00:22:22 Not sure.
00:22:24 (TV plays)
00:22:26 When did she leave?
00:22:29 Last night.
00:22:31 (TV plays)
00:22:35 (door opens)
00:22:51 (door closes)
00:22:53 (somber music)
00:23:00 (sniffs)
00:23:11 (door opens)
00:23:13 (door closes)
00:23:17 (sniffs)
00:23:19 No!
00:23:23 Dad, you scared me!
00:23:34 Mommy, please!
00:23:35 Dad!
00:23:37 No, no, no, Dad!
00:23:38 Dad, no, no, come on, I didn't mean it!
00:23:40 No, no!
00:23:41 Come on, come on!
00:23:45 (sniffs)
00:23:46 Come on, come on!
00:23:47 (sniffs)
00:23:48 Dad, no!
00:23:52 (sobs)
00:23:54 (sniffs)
00:23:56 (door opens)
00:24:02 (door closes)
00:24:07 (sobs)
00:24:09 (engine starts)
00:24:21 (horn honks)
00:24:27 (sobs)
00:24:35 (horn honks)
00:24:37 (horn honks)
00:24:41 (horn honks)
00:24:44 What are you doing, Will?
00:24:47 What are you doing, man? Huh?
00:24:49 Get off me!
00:24:50 (coughs)
00:24:52 You got two little girls at home!
00:24:59 How can you even be thinking about doing something like this?
00:25:03 I wasn't trying to kill myself.
00:25:05 What?
00:25:07 I wasn't trying to kill myself!
00:25:09 I needed to know how she felt.
00:25:12 (coughs)
00:25:15 I don't know what to do.
00:25:18 I should not have let her go to bed without asking what was wrong.
00:25:24 I should have talked to her.
00:25:26 (sobs)
00:25:30 I should have told her.
00:25:31 We were dancing.
00:25:35 There was something there.
00:25:39 I could see it.
00:25:42 I just let it go.
00:25:45 Will, you...
00:25:50 you couldn't have known.
00:25:52 But I should have, Scott! I was her husband!
00:25:54 I mean...
00:25:59 I should have read the bed signs.
00:26:00 There was at least one.
00:26:01 And I didn't do anything about it.
00:26:04 Not a thing.
00:26:06 This...
00:26:10 This does not just fall on your shoulders.
00:26:14 And her...
00:26:17 her choice...
00:26:18 to end her life...
00:26:21 you couldn't have prevented that.
00:26:25 It's not your fault or anyone else's.
00:26:28 (sobs)
00:26:29 Come here, babe.
00:26:35 Come here.
00:26:36 Come here.
00:26:37 (sobs)
00:26:38 (sobs)
00:26:40 (sobs)
00:26:42 (sobs)
00:26:43 (sobs)
00:26:45 (sobs)
00:26:46 (sobs)
00:26:48 (sobs)
00:26:50 (sobs)
00:26:52 (sobs)
00:26:54 (sobs)
00:26:56 (sobs)
00:26:58 (sobs)
00:27:00 (sobs)
00:27:02 (sobs)
00:27:04 (sobs)
00:27:06 (sobs)
00:27:08 (sobs)
00:27:10 (sobs)
00:27:13 (sad music)
00:27:16 (sad music)
00:27:18 (sad music)
00:27:20 (sad music)
00:27:23 (sad music)
00:27:25 (sad music)
00:27:27 (sad music)
00:27:30 (sad music)
00:27:32 (gunshots)
00:27:58 (gunshots)
00:28:00 - Whoa.
00:28:28 - Feel better now?
00:28:30 - Yep.
00:28:31 - Will, where are you going?
00:28:35 - To get some help.
00:28:36 (sighs)
00:28:47 - Finally.
00:28:47 Lauren, don't eat that.
00:28:56 - It's okay, mama says the black makes my teeth whiter.
00:28:59 - I brought you some lunch.
00:29:26 - I already told you, I'm not hungry.
00:29:28 - You really should try to eat something.
00:29:33 I'll just put it here in case you do get hungry.
00:29:38 (box thuds)
00:29:41 Thanks.
00:29:57 (box thuds)
00:30:06 (box thuds)
00:30:08 All right, that's all of it.
00:30:12 - What is this?
00:30:18 - Everything they say you need to know about suicide.
00:30:20 Now take the entire stack and throw it in the trash.
00:30:26 - You want me to throw it away?
00:30:29 - That's right.
00:30:36 (box thuds)
00:30:38 - Why did I just do that?
00:30:42 - 'Cause a brochure can't even come close
00:30:45 to telling you what to feel
00:30:46 or how to really deal with a suicide.
00:30:48 - And you can.
00:30:49 - I believe the families of suicide victims
00:30:52 need to go through three steps,
00:30:55 but we'll get to that later.
00:30:55 First, I usually have my patients start
00:30:58 by spilling their guts.
00:30:59 - Spill my guts.
00:31:02 - Right now, inside of you,
00:31:04 there are tons of feelings swirling around.
00:31:07 Anger, sadness, frustration, denial, hopelessness,
00:31:12 and all of those feelings are completely understandable.
00:31:16 I'm here to help you get them out and sort through them.
00:31:18 - How are you gonna help me go through that?
00:31:23 What are you, 22?
00:31:25 - I'm 28.
00:31:26 - Isn't that a little young to be a therapist?
00:31:30 - Actually, it's not.
00:31:32 But I was too young.
00:31:34 When my brother killed himself, I was 10.
00:31:38 And when my parents couldn't handle it,
00:31:42 my dad killed himself when I was 12.
00:31:45 And then finally, my mom killed herself when I was 16.
00:31:51 I was the one that found them every time it was me.
00:31:57 I couldn't figure out why my family
00:32:02 would wanna leave me all alone.
00:32:04 I figured there must be something wrong with me.
00:32:06 That's why I started to study psychology.
00:32:09 I figured if I could understand how the mind works,
00:32:12 how people work, I could figure out what I did wrong
00:32:17 and why my family did it.
00:32:18 - So what's wrong with us?
00:32:22 - Nothing, nothing's wrong with us.
00:32:24 People who commit suicide are not thinking right.
00:32:28 They've painted a drastically false image
00:32:30 of what their life is.
00:32:31 They can't see anything positive.
00:32:34 Finally, they choose the most absolute action possible
00:32:37 for a very temporary situation.
00:32:39 - How did you get over it?
00:32:43 - You don't get over it.
00:32:44 You get through.
00:32:46 You move on with your life.
00:32:48 I've just, I've come to the point
00:32:49 where there are some things I'll never understand.
00:32:52 - So you don't know why they committed suicide?
00:33:00 - That's what I don't get, you know?
00:33:02 The day before she...
00:33:05 We all had the best time ever.
00:33:11 Everything was perfect.
00:33:16 Now I have to step in and play mom, which I wanted.
00:33:29 - Not like this.
00:33:30 - Have you and Scott had the whole kid marriage talk yet?
00:33:33 - I drop hints.
00:33:37 Maybe he's just not ready.
00:33:40 - Vanessa, he's a man.
00:33:42 Hints don't work.
00:33:44 Sit him down and make him talk.
00:33:45 - Why haven't you asked her?
00:33:57 - What if she says no?
00:33:59 - You already bought her the ring.
00:34:03 Why would she say no?
00:34:04 Ask her.
00:34:08 (gunshots)
00:34:11 - Will.
00:34:20 - Morning, Mr. Johnson.
00:34:25 - I heard about your wife.
00:34:27 - Yeah, it's been rough.
00:34:31 - One misstep and you're out of here, got it?
00:34:35 - What?
00:34:39 - I don't know what was going on at home,
00:34:42 but it's not gonna fly around here.
00:34:44 - Nothing was going on at home.
00:34:47 - People don't just kill themselves.
00:34:49 - Are you implying that I had something to do with it?
00:34:55 - We're done here.
00:34:56 - He just accused me of killing my wife.
00:35:18 - Who?
00:35:20 - Mike.
00:35:21 - He said you killed Beth?
00:35:24 - Beth?
00:35:25 - He implied that I had caused her to commit suicide.
00:35:29 - Look, Will, you should take the rest of the day off work.
00:35:36 - You know you're right, I need to go clear my head.
00:35:40 - Hey, hey.
00:35:41 Are you gonna be okay?
00:35:44 - I'll be fine.
00:35:47 (dramatic music)
00:35:49 - Feeling better?
00:36:03 - It's been up and down.
00:36:12 (dramatic music)
00:36:15 - I think it's time Sadie goes back to school.
00:36:22 - It's only been a week.
00:36:24 - I think it'd be good for her.
00:36:26 Anything's better than her just lying in bed.
00:36:31 I talked to the school counselor
00:36:37 and she thinks she can help.
00:36:39 (Will sighs)
00:36:41 - I have no idea what I'm doing.
00:36:48 I don't have the slightest idea
00:36:53 how to raise two little girls on my own.
00:36:56 - Scott and I have been talking.
00:37:06 I know Beth did all the books for the company.
00:37:10 We were thinking that,
00:37:12 we were thinking that maybe I could quit my job
00:37:16 so I could do the books and help you with the girls.
00:37:21 - But you love your job.
00:37:24 - I love you and the girls more.
00:37:27 - Wow.
00:37:30 You and Scott have been so great.
00:37:34 (Sadie sobs)
00:37:37 - Thank you for everything.
00:37:41 So, what do you think about going back to school tomorrow?
00:37:53 - Whatever.
00:37:56 If you're ready, sure.
00:38:01 - Are you sure?
00:38:05 (knocking)
00:38:06 - Yes, I'm sure, I'm sure.
00:38:07 I'm ready to go to school.
00:38:09 - Daddy?
00:38:13 - Yeah?
00:38:16 - Can you do my hair like Mom did for school?
00:38:18 - Um...
00:38:22 Well, I can do it.
00:38:26 - Sure, sweetie.
00:38:28 Look at you all dolled up.
00:38:29 (sad music)
00:38:31 - I won't be as good as Mom is.
00:38:36 Thank you, Aunt Vanessa.
00:38:43 Mama?
00:38:47 - Yeah, honey?
00:38:48 - Will I ever be as pretty as you?
00:38:50 - Gosh, yes.
00:38:53 When I was your age,
00:38:56 I looked a lot like this.
00:38:59 (Sadie laughs)
00:39:03 - But I would be prettier if I had some lip gloss.
00:39:11 And maybe some eye shadow?
00:39:14 - You know what?
00:39:16 You're right.
00:39:18 - She's a bit young to be wearing makeup.
00:39:25 Isn't she?
00:39:27 - Daddy might think so.
00:39:28 But a lady is never too young to look stunning.
00:39:31 - I don't think I need makeup.
00:39:33 - Oh yeah?
00:39:34 - Yeah.
00:39:35 I'm thinking I'll wait three to six years, probably.
00:39:40 - You just made your father a very happy man.
00:39:43 (dog barks)
00:39:44 We're in here!
00:39:45 (sad music)
00:39:47 We got it!
00:39:56 (cheering)
00:39:59 So, Uncle Scott and I were thinking
00:40:08 that maybe we could celebrate.
00:40:09 - Yeah?
00:40:10 - At the water park?
00:40:11 - Yeah!
00:40:12 (cheering)
00:40:14 - Yeah!
00:40:15 - Yeah!
00:40:16 Wait a minute.
00:40:17 What is this?
00:40:22 - Mom put makeup on Lauren.
00:40:25 - She didn't.
00:40:27 - Aren't I beautiful?
00:40:29 - So beautiful.
00:40:30 - Uh, perhaps a little too beautiful.
00:40:32 - Don't worry, Daddy.
00:40:33 Sadie's waiting how long?
00:40:35 - Three to six years.
00:40:37 - Before she even thinks about wearing makeup.
00:40:39 - That's my girl.
00:40:40 - But a lady is never too young.
00:40:44 - You smell good.
00:40:45 (coughing)
00:40:47 Mom!
00:40:48 - Love you, Daddy.
00:40:54 - You are an amazingly strong little girl.
00:41:09 But it's okay to be sad.
00:41:14 I'm sad.
00:41:15 I miss Mama every day.
00:41:18 I love you, Sadie.
00:41:29 I love you, Sadie.
00:41:30 - Are you excited to see your friends?
00:41:49 - Yep.
00:41:50 (bell ringing)
00:41:55 (fire crackling)
00:41:58 - You know,
00:42:02 if you're not ready to do this,
00:42:06 you can change your mind.
00:42:08 You can stay home as long as you want.
00:42:10 It's really okay.
00:42:11 - Look, I appreciate you trying to be extra nice
00:42:16 because Mom killed herself,
00:42:17 but I'll be fine.
00:42:20 (birds chirping)
00:42:22 - I love you.
00:42:32 I don't know what to do.
00:42:36 In the last two weeks, I've lost everything.
00:42:39 What's left of my family continues to fall apart.
00:42:42 If this is the way life is gonna be,
00:42:49 maybe Beth had the right idea.
00:42:50 - Stop it.
00:42:52 That's how it starts.
00:42:53 You put that thought on the table,
00:42:55 and after time passes, it'll begin to look better,
00:42:57 and you'll have the courage to actually kill yourself.
00:43:00 You'll be strong enough or weak enough
00:43:02 to abandon your little girls.
00:43:04 You give yourself one option.
00:43:08 You pick your feet up and take one step at a time.
00:43:11 Giving up is not an option.
00:43:14 You push forward every day,
00:43:16 and the days that you don't want to,
00:43:17 you do it for yourself, you do it for Sadie,
00:43:19 and for Lauren.
00:43:20 You are fully responsible for keeping yourself alive.
00:43:26 I think you should attend my survivor's group tonight.
00:43:32 It might help you to see things differently.
00:43:34 - Isn't that where people go to talk about
00:43:36 how hard their lives are?
00:43:38 - It's where people can share their struggles
00:43:40 so others know they're not alone.
00:43:42 - I don't want anybody to know how I feel.
00:43:45 - Do you feel alone?
00:43:47 - Yes.
00:43:48 - Are you?
00:43:50 - No.
00:43:54 - Who do you have that cares about you?
00:43:57 - Vanessa, Scott,
00:44:01 Sadie, Lauren.
00:44:04 - No one is alone unless they choose to be.
00:44:08 Do you think Beth felt alone?
00:44:12 - I don't know.
00:44:16 I don't know.
00:44:16 - Yes, you do.
00:44:17 - I guess maybe she did.
00:44:24 - What do you think would have happened
00:44:27 if Beth knew that others felt the way she did?
00:44:30 What if she would have opened up?
00:44:31 She might still be here.
00:44:35 - Look what I got you.
00:44:43 - Oh.
00:44:44 (laughing)
00:44:52 Thanks.
00:44:56 - You're welcome.
00:44:57 - How's the shot?
00:45:00 - It's not the same without you.
00:45:03 I miss you.
00:45:04 - I miss you too.
00:45:05 - Listen, if there's anything I can do
00:45:08 to help with Sadie or Lauren,
00:45:10 I can be free anytime.
00:45:12 - It's not Lauren I'm worried about.
00:45:15 It's...
00:45:16 Oh my God, Sadie.
00:45:18 (knocking)
00:45:20 Sadie?
00:45:33 (door opening)
00:45:36 I'm so sorry I'm late.
00:45:44 How was school?
00:45:50 - It was great.
00:45:51 - What happened?
00:45:52 - Some kids were talking about how great their parents are.
00:45:56 So I threw my milk at them.
00:45:58 - Sadie.
00:46:02 - Don't worry.
00:46:03 Principal Miller let me off.
00:46:05 My shrink said it's typical for kids to get angry
00:46:08 after someone dies.
00:46:10 Which basically means I can get away
00:46:13 with anything I want right now.
00:46:14 - You know that me and your dad
00:46:22 and Uncle Scott are here if you wanna talk.
00:46:25 - Why does everyone insist that I talk?
00:46:28 I don't wanna talk.
00:46:30 I just wish you'd leave me alone.
00:46:32 - My husband's business wasn't doing very well
00:46:46 but he seemed fine.
00:46:48 I went into work one day to do the books
00:46:51 and I opened the door and there he was.
00:46:55 - My mother has battled depression for years.
00:46:59 She tried committing suicide several times.
00:47:02 - My name is Ken.
00:47:04 I've been coming to this group for a while now.
00:47:07 My wife killed herself 12 years ago.
00:47:12 - It was just before Christmas.
00:47:14 She was in a depressed state and she overdosed.
00:47:19 - Hanging there.
00:47:20 He must have been there for hours.
00:47:23 - She put the barrel of my shotgun in her mouth.
00:47:29 - My son found her.
00:47:31 - Rather than passing away,
00:47:33 she became delirious and wandered outside.
00:47:35 - He was cold and stiff.
00:47:38 - You never get over that kind of thing.
00:47:40 You just try to move forward.
00:47:44 - She walked for hours before someone finally found her.
00:47:47 She suffered severe frostbite on every exposed surface.
00:47:53 - He was ghostly white
00:47:54 except for the purple ring around his neck.
00:47:58 - She wasn't wearing shoes.
00:47:59 Both of her feet were amputated.
00:48:05 - And I've been trying,
00:48:09 but my son has attempted suicide three times.
00:48:16 - Three times?
00:48:26 I don't know what's in his life that's so bad.
00:48:29 I love him.
00:48:35 And I make a point of showing him and telling him every day.
00:48:41 - I would like to say something.
00:48:46 My name is Anthony Boyd.
00:48:49 I'm a rookie at the police department.
00:48:54 Several weeks ago, I was on a call
00:48:57 following a senior detective on a suicide call.
00:48:59 I arrived on scene.
00:49:01 There were police cars, ambulances,
00:49:04 fire trucks parked all over the street.
00:49:07 I followed the detective into the garage
00:49:09 where the suicide had taken place.
00:49:11 And then that's when I saw her.
00:49:13 She was lying on the floor, lifeless, cherry red,
00:49:17 suffocated on the fumes of her classic car.
00:49:22 I can still see her every time I close my eyes.
00:49:25 I haven't slept since.
00:49:27 I remember walking across the lawn
00:49:30 and seeing the family of the deceased.
00:49:32 I can't even imagine what they were thinking.
00:49:36 I went home that night and I laid in my wife's arms
00:49:39 and I sobbed for the family, the father, the daughters.
00:49:42 I was so, I cried, I was so thankful that I just had my wife.
00:49:47 All the training I received
00:49:49 didn't even come close to preparing me.
00:49:52 - These are standard questions.
00:49:54 Have the two of you been fighting lately?
00:49:58 - No.
00:50:01 - Can I ask what the two of you did last night?
00:50:05 - We, we danced.
00:50:10 - Has Beth ever attempted suicide before?
00:50:16 - No.
00:50:21 - Does your wife have a history of mental illness?
00:50:23 - My wife and I weren't fighting and she wasn't crazy.
00:50:29 - I know this is difficult.
00:50:30 - Oh, you know how difficult this is?
00:50:32 Did your wife kill herself too?
00:50:34 Did you find her dead in the garage?
00:50:36 No, how about you?
00:50:39 - No, I haven't.
00:50:43 - So how about we don't pretend
00:50:45 that you know how difficult this is?
00:50:50 - You know, I think we got what we need.
00:50:53 - I didn't realize how far the pain of suicide can reach.
00:51:00 I saw one of my crew members at the group last night,
00:51:06 Ken Parker.
00:51:07 I've worked with this guy for over two years
00:51:11 and I never heard a thing about his wife committing suicide
00:51:16 or about his son trying to.
00:51:19 It explains a lot.
00:51:20 - It explains what?
00:51:23 - He's a talented guy,
00:51:26 but the last year he's just been so up and down.
00:51:31 I wish there's something I could do to help him.
00:51:37 I don't know how he does it.
00:51:41 - Does what?
00:51:42 - Live every day knowing it could be his son's death.
00:51:47 - Every day knowing it could be his son's last?
00:51:49 - Today can be anyone's last day.
00:51:51 - If I had to find Beth dead two more times,
00:51:58 I can't sleep.
00:52:04 Every time I close my eyes, I see her laying in my arms.
00:52:10 Every time I smell car exhaust,
00:52:12 I remember gagging on it after getting her out of the car.
00:52:15 I'm surrounded by horrible memories.
00:52:20 If I had to go through that again, I couldn't do it.
00:52:26 - Well, Ken looks at it differently.
00:52:30 Even though his son's tried three times, he still has him.
00:52:33 As long as Max is still breathing,
00:52:37 there's still a chance for things to go on,
00:52:39 a chance for change.
00:52:40 - He's living in fear every day.
00:52:44 You're living with questions,
00:52:46 questions that may never be answered.
00:52:48 You can't undo something that's already been done.
00:52:56 There's no chance for Beth to come out of it, to come back.
00:53:01 What's worse, fear or regret?
00:53:05 - Regret.
00:53:08 - You need to complete your relationship with Beth.
00:53:14 We all leave things unfinished with each other every day.
00:53:17 We don't want to admit that this might be
00:53:18 the last time we see someone.
00:53:20 It's especially important in a suicide
00:53:23 to come to terms with those things
00:53:25 left unfinished and unsettled.
00:53:26 Ken doesn't have to complete his relationship yet.
00:53:31 You do.
00:53:32 (car engine rumbling)
00:53:35 - Thanks, Ken.
00:53:45 - Sure.
00:53:46 - Hey, Ken.
00:53:48 About the other night, I'm sorry I didn't know.
00:53:54 - It's all right.
00:53:57 I try really hard not to let anybody at work know about that.
00:53:59 - Well, I'll keep it under wraps.
00:54:02 - Thank you.
00:54:03 You know, I was wondering,
00:54:05 I was wondering if you'd be willing
00:54:08 to meet with my son, Max.
00:54:09 - You want me to meet with your son?
00:54:13 - I know what you've been going through.
00:54:17 I thought if Max heard about what suicide does to someone
00:54:22 from someone who's not his doctor or his dad,
00:54:27 that it might make a difference.
00:54:31 (car engine rumbling)
00:54:34 - Max?
00:55:00 - That's me.
00:55:01 - I'm Will.
00:55:08 - Yeah, I know.
00:55:08 So my dad conned you into this?
00:55:20 Great.
00:55:28 So Max, tell me about yourself.
00:55:32 - Well, I'm sure you know the details.
00:55:35 My mom killed herself, and I got depressed,
00:55:37 and then I tried to kill myself, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:55:40 - I know about what's happened to you,
00:55:47 but I don't know you.
00:55:50 - Look,
00:55:57 you're not the first person I've had to meet with.
00:56:00 I've met with so many therapists and people
00:56:03 who wanna try and fix me,
00:56:05 that I don't remember their names.
00:56:07 So whatever you hope to accomplish from this,
00:56:09 I wouldn't set your expectations too high.
00:56:13 - He doesn't wanna talk.
00:56:16 - That's fine, you do the talking.
00:56:18 - What do I say?
00:56:20 - Talk about whatever you want.
00:56:22 Open up to him.
00:56:23 You two have a lot in common.
00:56:25 He, like you, is going through a really hard time.
00:56:29 He has to sit there with you.
00:56:30 If you're talking, he must be listening.
00:56:32 - So how's your day going?
00:56:42 Did you inherit your dad's skills with a nail gun?
00:56:53 - No.
00:56:53 I think the only thing that my girls inherited from me
00:57:05 is my stubbornness.
00:57:06 They get all their good qualities from their mom.
00:57:12 She passed away a few weeks ago.
00:57:19 - She was a good girl.
00:57:20 - Yeah.
00:57:21 Yeah, she taped a hose to our car,
00:57:32 and that was it.
00:57:38 And she was gone.
00:57:42 - Well, hopefully they don't get that quality from her.
00:57:48 - I know you're trying to get me to give up,
00:57:51 but it's not gonna work.
00:57:54 You can't get rid of me that easy.
00:57:57 - Look, I'm sorry about your wife,
00:58:02 but I really don't want any help.
00:58:05 - I'm not here to help you.
00:58:08 I'm here for me.
00:58:15 I need to know what my wife was thinking
00:58:18 the night she committed suicide.
00:58:19 And I was hoping that maybe you could help.
00:58:26 Shed some light on that, give me some insight.
00:58:31 - Well, the first time I tried to kill myself,
00:58:44 I used the hose in the window technique.
00:58:48 I was 14 and my dad had just got a new car.
00:58:54 I remember I taped up the hose
00:59:02 and then I brought it in through the window.
00:59:05 Then I hopped in the seat, hit the start button,
00:59:13 and I waited.
00:59:14 I sat there squeezing my eyes shut,
00:59:19 just hoping to drift off.
00:59:22 Eventually, my dad found me asleep in the car.
00:59:33 It was a hybrid.
00:59:42 - You didn't know that the hybrid doesn't admit exhaust
00:59:45 when they're not in motion?
00:59:46 No, I didn't.
00:59:50 - It's kind of funny.
00:59:53 - He was so mad, I mean, I used up the battery in the car.
00:59:56 He had to have it towed back to the dealership.
00:59:58 - What was going through your head
01:00:06 that would make you want to kill yourself?
01:00:09 - I wanted it to end.
01:00:10 - Your life?
01:00:13 - The sadness.
01:00:16 The world is a horrible place.
01:00:20 I mean, I look at life and there are some really mean
01:00:24 and self-centered people out there.
01:00:26 I just seem to have a big target on my back.
01:00:29 So I'm gonna go.
01:00:37 - So why did your wife do it?
01:00:38 - I don't know.
01:00:43 I've gone back to every day we were together.
01:00:50 I've looked at every picture.
01:00:53 I still can't figure it out.
01:00:59 I still can't figure it out.
01:01:01 Do you need some help with your homework?
01:01:15 - No.
01:01:16 - Hey Lauren, what are you drawing?
01:01:25 - Mommy.
01:01:27 - Really?
01:01:29 What's she doing?
01:01:30 - She's dead in the car.
01:01:31 - Lauren, honey, let's color in this instead, okay?
01:01:39 - Hey, hi.
01:01:49 - Hey, how you doing?
01:01:51 Look good.
01:01:51 (chuckles)
01:01:54 - Okay, let me help, okay?
01:02:00 Okay, there's right, that's right, that's right.
01:02:05 There.
01:02:09 - That's not right.
01:02:12 - Yes it is.
01:02:17 - That's not how mom did it.
01:02:18 - I know.
01:02:22 But it's the way I do it.
01:02:23 Sadie, please.
01:02:27 - I hate this.
01:02:29 Mom's supposed to be helping me with my homework, not you.
01:02:34 Mom's supposed to be cooking, not her.
01:02:37 I don't want a new mom.
01:02:40 - I am not trying to be your mom.
01:02:49 (door slams)
01:02:51 - Sadie.
01:02:57 - Leave me alone.
01:02:58 (screams)
01:03:00 (footsteps)
01:03:04 (door slams)
01:03:06 (sniffles)
01:03:17 (sighs)
01:03:20 (sniffles)
01:03:23 (sighs)
01:03:29 (sighs)
01:03:39 (sniffles)
01:03:41 (somber music)
01:04:03 (sniffles)
01:04:06 (sighs)
01:04:29 (sighs)
01:04:31 (sighs)
01:04:33 (sniffles)
01:04:35 (sniffles)
01:04:37 (sighs)
01:05:04 (somber music)
01:05:07 - I mean, I guess I feel okay in school.
01:05:14 - Well then you should be able to get a job afterwards,
01:05:16 right?
01:05:17 - I mean, yeah, I guess.
01:05:18 (door slams)
01:05:19 - Whoa, whoa, hey!
01:05:22 Watch where you're going!
01:05:23 You just ran into him.
01:05:25 - So?
01:05:28 - So next time you should watch where you're going.
01:05:31 - Max.
01:05:34 Tell your friend here to mind his own business.
01:05:37 Tell him, Max.
01:05:40 - Fine, Will.
01:05:43 - You see, everything's kosher.
01:05:47 - It's one of the reasons why I hate this school.
01:05:56 - Why doesn't he like you?
01:05:57 - I'm different.
01:06:00 - Oh, really?
01:06:02 - I can't explain it.
01:06:03 I mean, I see it and so does Ryan and everyone else.
01:06:06 - Well, next time you should stand up for yourself.
01:06:11 - Why make things worse?
01:06:12 - Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
01:06:14 Where are you going?
01:06:16 - I'm going home.
01:06:17 - I know what I saw.
01:06:24 Plus, I've seen him pushing around the other kids as well.
01:06:28 - Max has never come to me.
01:06:29 - Well, Max has never come to me about Ryan.
01:06:32 I will not start pushing buttons
01:06:35 that don't need to be pushed.
01:06:37 - But look, this Ryan kid has been tormenting Max.
01:06:41 He's the reason he keeps trying to kill himself.
01:06:44 - It is not your job to fix this.
01:06:48 - You're right.
01:06:48 It's yours.
01:06:50 So what have you or this school done to help?
01:06:54 (chuckles)
01:06:56 - Oh, looky here.
01:07:13 It's Max's buddy.
01:07:14 - That's right.
01:07:15 Max is my friend and I want you to stop bullying him.
01:07:19 - I'm just giving him a hard time.
01:07:20 - I don't think you understand the stress
01:07:23 that you and your friends are putting on Max and his dad.
01:07:26 Max has tried to commit suicide because of you.
01:07:29 - Look, if he's trying to end his pathetic life,
01:07:33 that's on him.
01:07:34 - What can I say?
01:07:37 Some people have problems.
01:07:39 This is not my problem.
01:07:40 - Hey, hey.
01:07:53 What are you planning on doing with that?
01:07:55 - If I ever hear that you are giving Max a hard time,
01:08:01 ever again.
01:08:04 - Hey, whoa, whoa, okay.
01:08:06 Jeez, easy.
01:08:08 (school bell rings)
01:08:19 (students chattering)
01:08:22 - Ryan?
01:08:35 - Guys, no bodyguard today?
01:08:38 - Tried killing yourself lately?
01:08:43 - What?
01:08:44 Don't know what you're talking about.
01:08:46 - Huh, that's funny.
01:08:47 (gun fires)
01:08:50 - I don't like being threatened, okay?
01:08:52 God, you are so pathetic.
01:08:57 You can't even kill yourself.
01:08:59 Do you all know that Max here is suicidal?
01:09:03 Yeah, that's right.
01:09:06 Max has tried killing himself several times.
01:09:15 Maybe next time, you'll have the balls to get it right.
01:09:18 - The second step to healing
01:09:26 is to create an accurate memory picture of Beth.
01:09:28 - I've already told you what I see.
01:09:30 I can't get it on my head.
01:09:32 - This isn't a physical memory of what they looked like,
01:09:35 but rather a memory of who they were
01:09:38 and how they live on inside of you.
01:09:40 Well, tell me about her.
01:09:42 - What?
01:09:45 What was she like?
01:09:46 What made her smile?
01:09:47 - She always seemed happy.
01:09:52 There were never any ups and downs.
01:09:55 - Let's start with something simple.
01:09:58 How did you two meet?
01:09:59 - It was the last day of finals,
01:10:07 just before Christmas break,
01:10:10 and we were hit with a blizzard.
01:10:13 (somber music)
01:10:16 The whole campus partied it up.
01:10:18 Well, all but those whose finals got pushed back.
01:10:22 So I retreated back to my room.
01:10:25 My roommates were insane.
01:10:29 So I went down to the library
01:10:33 because it was the quietest place on campus.
01:10:35 I walked to the back of the library and
01:10:41 (sighs)
01:10:44 there she was,
01:10:44 books scattered all over the table.
01:10:48 I took a seat at a table a few down from her.
01:10:54 She was so beautiful.
01:11:01 I tried to keep my mind on my studies,
01:11:08 but I couldn't help but look up at her every few seconds.
01:11:13 Then,
01:11:15 one time she caught me looking over
01:11:19 her blue eyes, peeking up over her textbooks.
01:11:25 We locked eyes.
01:11:31 (somber music)
01:11:33 I got up the nerve to go over and say hello.
01:11:42 We didn't get another minute of work done.
01:11:52 It was so surreal,
01:11:53 the snow falling outside and the decorations inside.
01:12:00 We talked until morning like we were the best of friends.
01:12:03 I walked her back to her room
01:12:08 and her roommates were still awake
01:12:10 'cause we could hear them from all the way down the hall.
01:12:13 But I got her to her door and it was just by pure magic
01:12:20 that mistletoe was hanging from her door.
01:12:26 (somber music)
01:12:28 That was our first kiss.
01:12:36 - Thank you, Aunt Vanessa.
01:12:44 - What, you want me to do that thing?
01:12:49 - No, you got it.
01:12:50 - Okay.
01:12:54 - How have your talks with Mrs. Harrison been going?
01:12:57 - Fine.
01:12:58 - Haven't used any milk cartons as weapons recently,
01:13:00 have you?
01:13:01 - Lauren, do you have big plans with Aunt Vanessa today?
01:13:08 - I wish I could stay at home with Aunt Vanessa every day.
01:13:13 - You'd stop me from getting anything done.
01:13:16 - But it would be fun.
01:13:23 - Sadie, can you hurry up?
01:13:24 We gotta get you to school.
01:13:26 - Whatever.
01:13:27 - Sadie, you need to start treating
01:13:31 your Aunt Vanessa with some respect.
01:13:33 - Whatever.
01:13:35 (door thudding)
01:14:04 - Are you okay, Sadie?
01:14:05 - I'm fine.
01:14:07 - Do you want to color with me?
01:14:11 - Lauren, please leave me alone.
01:14:14 (Sadie sighing)
01:14:17 (Sadie crying)
01:14:31 (door thudding)
01:14:34 - Max, gonna be late for school, buddy.
01:14:37 Max?
01:14:41 Hey.
01:14:43 Max?
01:14:46 You all right?
01:14:47 - I'm not going.
01:14:50 - Everything okay at school?
01:14:54 I wish you would just talk to me.
01:15:01 If there's a problem, let me help.
01:15:02 Let Will help or Dr. Walker or stand up for yourself.
01:15:06 Don't just sit around in your room all day
01:15:09 feeling sorry for yourself.
01:15:10 Come on, let's go.
01:15:12 Do something about it.
01:15:14 - Hey.
01:15:30 (suspenseful music)
01:15:32 - Whoa, Max, hey, shut up!
01:15:35 - Look, I understand you hoped
01:15:40 I would get it right this time.
01:15:41 Do it.
01:15:49 Kill me!
01:15:52 - I can't, I can't.
01:15:55 (suspenseful music)
01:15:58 - Please don't.
01:16:00 - You're the weak one.
01:16:03 (gun firing)
01:16:07 - Max, Derek, can you hear me?
01:16:11 You're gonna be all right.
01:16:12 We gotta fight through this, okay?
01:16:14 - What do we got here?
01:16:15 - 18 year old male, gunshot wound to the chest.
01:16:17 Suicide attempt.
01:16:18 - Sir, I need you to stay back.
01:16:22 - I love you, Max!
01:16:24 (gun firing)
01:16:26 - You and your sister are everything to me.
01:16:44 And it hurts me to see you this way.
01:16:50 (sighing)
01:16:53 I feel like I not only lost my wife,
01:16:58 but I also lost my little girl.
01:17:01 I love you, Sadie.
01:17:12 (sighing)
01:17:14 - Good night, Lauren.
01:17:23 I love you.
01:17:26 - Love you too, Daddy.
01:17:27 Daddy?
01:17:30 - Yeah, baby?
01:17:31 - I won't talk about Mom anymore
01:17:33 because it makes you cry.
01:17:35 - I want you to talk about her.
01:17:38 We need to remember her every day.
01:17:42 - See, Daddy?
01:17:42 You're sad.
01:17:43 - Hey.
01:17:44 I'm not sad.
01:17:46 I'm just remembering how amazing she was.
01:17:50 - Okay.
01:17:53 Good night.
01:17:56 - Well, your son's lucky.
01:18:03 The bullet missed anything by them
01:18:04 on the pass just straight through.
01:18:06 So he's gonna be okay.
01:18:08 Yes, but we're gonna have to keep him a few days
01:18:09 to monitor him, and then he's likely
01:18:11 to be placed back into treatment.
01:18:13 This was his third attempt.
01:18:15 - Can I see him?
01:18:19 - He's resting right now,
01:18:20 but you're welcome to go and stay with him.
01:18:22 - Thank you, Doctor.
01:18:23 (beeping)
01:18:25 - Hey, Dad.
01:18:47 - There's still a blood stain on the mailbox.
01:18:49 - Oh, I can get that.
01:18:51 - Okay.
01:18:52 - Oh, I can get that.
01:18:54 - You better.
01:18:54 It's your fault you're dumb enough
01:18:57 to piss off that crazy kid.
01:18:58 Yeah, that kid comes back,
01:19:01 I'm gonna hand you over to him.
01:19:02 - Dad, please don't talk to me like that.
01:19:04 - You don't tell me what to do.
01:19:07 Got it?
01:19:08 Got it?
01:19:12 (dramatic music)
01:19:15 (clapping)
01:19:19 (beeping)
01:19:26 Max?
01:19:36 - Dad?
01:19:39 - I'm here, son.
01:19:40 (sighs)
01:19:42 - Where am I?
01:19:48 - The hospital.
01:19:50 - Oh.
01:19:52 Oh.
01:19:55 (sighs)
01:20:09 - Dad, I'm sorry, Dad, for all this.
01:20:14 - It's okay.
01:20:16 It's all right.
01:20:18 - I wish I could finish it.
01:20:23 Wish it would've just died.
01:20:25 - Max, please.
01:20:27 You made it through again.
01:20:30 There's gotta be a reason.
01:20:34 - I know you want me to tell you that
01:20:39 I'm better now.
01:20:40 I wanna live.
01:20:44 'Til I never try this again.
01:20:48 But I can't.
01:20:54 I'm sorry.
01:20:58 - Just rest now.
01:21:01 Just rest.
01:21:04 Just rest.
01:21:05 - Keep your eyes closed.
01:21:12 - Yes.
01:21:14 - Keep them closed.
01:21:15 - Keep them closed.
01:21:17 (laughs)
01:21:17 Oh.
01:21:18 - I got you.
01:21:19 (laughs)
01:21:20 I got you.
01:21:21 No peeking.
01:21:22 - Do I smell mac and cheese?
01:21:25 What is this?
01:21:30 - This, my darling, is a date.
01:21:34 (laughs)
01:21:36 - Hey, Ken.
01:21:48 - Will.
01:21:49 I just wanted to tell you that Max is getting better.
01:21:56 - That's great.
01:22:01 - Yeah.
01:22:04 Look, Ken.
01:22:05 I'm sorry.
01:22:08 I was just trying to help and I crossed the line.
01:22:13 - You did try to help.
01:22:17 You did exactly what I asked you to do.
01:22:21 You know, this last attempt, it was,
01:22:24 came as a complete surprise to me.
01:22:28 'Cause for a moment, Max seemed like his old self again.
01:22:35 He was a little bit different.
01:22:36 He had a sweetness about him that he had
01:22:41 before his mom died.
01:22:43 That was because of you.
01:22:48 You know, the truth is that
01:22:52 Max was given to me as a gift from God to watch over
01:22:57 he and his mom.
01:23:03 (sniffles)
01:23:05 Anyway, you really should go see him.
01:23:08 - I don't think that's a very good idea.
01:23:13 - He needs you, Will.
01:23:14 There's still a chance for him.
01:23:18 You think about it, all right?
01:23:23 All right.
01:23:25 ♪ All the quits and the loves ♪
01:23:33 ♪ And then this day I will stay ♪
01:23:37 - I can't.
01:23:40 I can't wait.
01:23:44 I can't wait.
01:23:45 Vanessa, I know life has been about Will
01:23:55 and the girls recently.
01:23:56 But seeing you with them,
01:24:03 has made me realize I cannot be without you.
01:24:05 Vanessa Anne Martin.
01:24:13 Will you marry me?
01:24:17 - Yes.
01:24:22 - Okay.
01:24:32 - Yeah!
01:24:33 (laughing)
01:24:35 - There's one last thing I have for you.
01:24:41 It's time to say goodbye.
01:24:44 - I don't know how.
01:24:49 - It's something we don't do well as people.
01:24:53 And when we do say goodbye,
01:24:55 it's usually not met with finality
01:24:58 of saying goodbye to someone who has died.
01:25:01 I think you need to go home.
01:25:02 Go through her things, make it a home again.
01:25:07 But for you and your daughters, tell Beth goodbye.
01:25:11 (box clattering)
01:25:14 (box clattering)
01:25:17 (box clattering)
01:25:19 (box clattering)
01:25:22 (box clattering)
01:25:29 (paper rustling)
01:25:34 (paper rustling)
01:25:41 (paper rustling)
01:25:47 (paper rustling)
01:25:50 (paper rustling)
01:25:53 - I'm so sorry, Will.
01:26:01 - What am I supposed to do now?
01:26:04 - You can move on.
01:26:05 You know it wasn't you.
01:26:08 You can have the piece so many families search for.
01:26:11 - Why didn't she talk to me?
01:26:16 She should have talked to me.
01:26:17 - Yeah, she should have,
01:26:19 but she was dealing with things long before she met you.
01:26:21 It's hard to undo bad habits.
01:26:27 Women in these situations tend to believe
01:26:28 that they don't deserve to be happy.
01:26:31 And in extreme cases, tragedy happens.
01:26:34 It's not that she was unhappy, she was too happy.
01:26:37 People can only accept the love they think they deserve.
01:26:40 - I know all that.
01:26:43 But now I know who's responsible.
01:26:45 What am I supposed to do about this woman
01:26:46 who was tormenting her?
01:26:47 - There's nothing you can do.
01:26:49 - She should have to look me in the eye
01:26:54 and know the damage that she's done.
01:26:56 - Do you really think that'll make a difference?
01:26:59 - It would for me.
01:27:00 - Let it go, Will.
01:27:04 - Like Beth tried to let it go.
01:27:06 This woman wouldn't let her let it go.
01:27:08 - Okay, listen to me.
01:27:10 It's not this woman's fault that Beth is dead.
01:27:13 It's not Ryan's fault that Max tried to shoot himself.
01:27:16 People are fully responsible for their own actions.
01:27:19 And I know it's hard to hear, Will, but it's the truth.
01:27:22 Okay, I can't stop you.
01:27:28 But by doing this, you'll be continuing the situation.
01:27:32 You're no better off than she is.
01:27:34 You need to let it go, Will.
01:27:37 Just let it go.
01:27:40 (soft piano music)
01:27:42 (soft piano music)
01:27:45 (paper crinkling)
01:27:48 (soft piano music)
01:27:55 ♪ I'll never write the words I'm trying ♪
01:28:14 - You are so beautiful.
01:28:16 We are so blessed.
01:28:19 - We are?
01:28:22 - No, the girls and I.
01:28:24 Life with you is so right.
01:28:28 We couldn't ask for anything more.
01:28:31 I love everything about you.
01:28:42 I wake up every morning and I thank God
01:28:46 that I get to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:28:49 What's the matter?
01:28:54 Beth.
01:28:57 - I'm fine.
01:29:00 Let's just go to bed.
01:29:02 ♪ Used to be we all know ♪
01:29:10 ♪ Don't listen everyone's wrong ♪
01:29:15 ♪ And I still need you ♪
01:29:19 (soft piano music)
01:29:23 (paper crinkling)
01:29:28 (paper crinkling)
01:29:33 (soft piano music)
01:29:36 (soft piano music)
01:29:39 (soft piano music)
01:29:42 (soft piano music)
01:29:45 (soft piano music)
01:29:48 (lips smacking)
01:29:59 (sighing)
01:30:10 (sighing)
01:30:12 (sighing)
01:30:18 (thudding)
01:30:21 (glass shattering)
01:30:24 - Sadie, are you okay?
01:30:28 - I'm fine.
01:30:29 Wait.
01:30:40 I need help.
01:30:41 (soft piano music)
01:30:49 (lips smacking)
01:31:03 (soft piano music)
01:31:06 - Sweetie, are you okay?
01:31:16 - I'm fine.
01:31:17 - We can take a break.
01:31:20 - No, keep going.
01:31:22 I want Mama to see how beautiful I can be.
01:31:26 (soft piano music)
01:31:31 (soft piano music)
01:31:34 You look absolutely stunning.
01:31:48 I miss Mama.
01:31:51 You're so pretty, I know.
01:31:59 (soft piano music)
01:32:28 - So I found my wife's journal.
01:32:30 - And you got your answers?
01:32:33 - I did.
01:32:35 - Did it make it easier?
01:32:39 - You're lucky, you know that, right?
01:32:47 You have another chance.
01:32:50 Don't ever let anyone make you feel like
01:32:56 you're not worth it.
01:32:58 (soft piano music)
01:33:00 There will always be those people out there
01:33:05 who are gonna be sure to point out your faults.
01:33:09 People love to place blame and point fingers.
01:33:12 They're so full of poison,
01:33:16 and they're willing to give it away for free.
01:33:19 All you can do is control yourself.
01:33:25 You can't let what other people say affect you.
01:33:30 You gotta shrug it off,
01:33:35 and then you have to forgive them.
01:33:40 You know, surround yourself with people
01:33:52 who will strengthen you,
01:33:55 and then let them.
01:33:56 Life is so precious.
01:34:04 Don't take it for granted.
01:34:06 Live, Max.
01:34:11 Live your life.
01:34:14 - Oh, I can come back at another time, it's fine.
01:34:21 - No, no, no.
01:34:22 I was just about to leave.
01:34:25 (soft piano music)
01:34:29 (footsteps thudding)
01:34:32 (soft piano music)
01:34:35 (footsteps thudding)
01:34:38 (soft piano music)
01:34:47 (soft piano music)
01:35:17 - Do I look pretty, Mama?
01:35:18 I put on makeup for you.
01:35:21 I tried to do it by myself,
01:35:25 but I didn't know how.
01:35:28 You said you'd be there for me when I was ready,
01:35:35 but you weren't.
01:35:37 Do you think I look pretty?
01:35:40 Do I, Mom?
01:35:43 (soft piano music)
01:35:46 She can't tell me I'm pretty.
01:35:49 She's dead.
01:35:52 She's never coming back.
01:35:55 - Look at me.
01:35:55 You are so beautiful.
01:35:59 You're the sweetest, most darling 11-year-old girl.
01:36:03 I know Mom is gone, but we are here.
01:36:08 We love you,
01:36:12 and we are never going to leave you, Sadie.
01:36:14 I promise.
01:36:16 (soft piano music)
01:36:19 You go back with Uncle Scott and Aunt Vanessa?
01:36:38 (soft piano music)
01:36:41 I'm sorry I haven't been here to talk to you sooner.
01:37:00 It's been a rough few months,
01:37:04 but we are getting through.
01:37:08 Every day is a different challenge.
01:37:10 I've tried to move on.
01:37:15 I've tried to forgive you.
01:37:17 I've made excuses as to why things ended up
01:37:22 the way they have,
01:37:22 but none of that helps.
01:37:26 I'm so mad at you, Beth.
01:37:30 Why didn't you come to me?
01:37:35 Why didn't you tell me what was going on?
01:37:37 We were best friends.
01:37:40 There's nothing you could have told me
01:37:44 that would have made me love you any less.
01:37:46 We could have gotten through this,
01:37:50 together.
01:37:53 None of that matters now.
01:37:57 It's too late.
01:37:59 I mean, you're gone.
01:38:02 There's nothing I can do about it.
01:38:06 (soft piano music)
01:38:09 So, I'm going to take our two beautiful girls home.
01:38:15 I'm gonna watch them grow into beautiful women.
01:38:21 Women I know you would have been proud of.
01:38:28 And I'm sure that I will cry from time to time
01:38:34 wishing that you could see the smiles
01:38:38 on their faces as they grow,
01:38:39 as they go on their first dates.
01:38:43 As I walk them down the aisle,
01:38:47 I promise to cherish the memories that you missed.
01:38:54 I know you thought this would end the pain, Beth,
01:38:59 but it didn't.
01:39:04 (soft piano music)
01:39:07 You have no idea how many lives your death has affected.
01:39:11 I will go on dates.
01:39:17 I will try to love again.
01:39:20 I will hold the door,
01:39:25 and I will pull out her chair for her.
01:39:27 I will do my best to love her.
01:39:35 (soft piano music)
01:39:37 Like I still love you.
01:39:39 Goodbye, Beth.
01:39:53 (upbeat music)
01:40:00 (sighs)
01:40:02 - So what's next?
01:40:06 - We live.
01:40:10 (upbeat music)
01:40:14 (upbeat music)
01:40:16 ♪ Live your life gloriously ♪
01:40:41 (upbeat music)
01:40:44 ♪ I live past yesterday, I'm here right now ♪
01:40:56 ♪ My brain keeps wondering in and out ♪
01:41:08 ♪ I'm breathing in and I'm not sure how ♪
01:41:13 ♪ Life's been rough to me, I've been shut down ♪
01:41:22 ♪ The cold wind bites and traps my lips ♪
01:41:34 ♪ I'm here right now screaming this is it ♪
01:41:39 ♪ Call it quits and end this day ♪
01:41:48 ♪ I will stay ♪
01:41:52 ♪ Like I should and I know spring gives change ♪
01:41:57 (upbeat music)
01:42:03 (upbeat music)
01:42:05 ♪ No reason for thought breaking out of my cage ♪
01:42:14 ♪ I've gotten fed up looking at the same page ♪
01:42:23 ♪ I've got some ideas, I'll write 'em all down ♪
01:42:32 (upbeat music)
01:42:34 ♪ Open your eyes and find what I've found ♪
01:42:41 ♪ The cold wind bites and traps my lips ♪
01:42:49 ♪ I'm here right now screaming this is it ♪
01:42:58 (upbeat music)
01:43:01 ♪ Call it quits and end this day ♪
01:43:07 ♪ I will stay ♪
01:43:11 ♪ Like I should and I know spring gives change ♪
01:43:16 (upbeat music)
01:43:18 (upbeat music)
01:43:21 ♪ The cold wind bites and traps my lips ♪
01:43:45 ♪ I'm here right now screaming this is it ♪
01:43:50 (upbeat music)
01:43:53 ♪ Call it quits and end this day ♪
01:43:59 ♪ I will stay ♪
01:44:03 ♪ Like I should and I know spring gives change ♪
01:44:08 (upbeat music)
01:44:11 (upbeat music)
01:44:13 (upbeat music)
01:44:16 (upbeat music)
01:44:18 (upbeat music)
01:44:21 [BLANK_AUDIO]