The Soccer Football Movie (2022)
Four young soccer superfans team up to help their idols regain their abilities after a scheming evil scientist steals their talent.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 .
00:00:17 Tonight if there were a move it would be full to the brim with
00:00:20 pure anticipation for this historic moment in football or
00:00:24 soccer but in most places it's football. But no matter what
00:00:29 happens it's football that's the game on the other foot. This
00:00:33 nail biter has all come down to slot time in the final game
00:00:37 before the all star Cup. I'm Rob Stone. Will slot time make
00:00:42 it happen. But don't always makes it happen. Was he. Pointing
00:00:49 at me. Yes I'm pointing at you Rob Stone. How are you even
00:00:55 getting that shot. I'm not getting that shot. I'm getting
00:00:59 the shot. What. This shot. Now that is good football or soccer
00:01:16 but mostly football. I'm Rob Stone. In a mere 24 hours
00:01:23 before the all star Cup. The very shiny all star Cup. Until
00:01:28 then fans will be asking themselves. Who will be named
00:01:33 the all star Cup all star of all all stars of all time. That's
00:01:40 right. Spoiler alert. As I was trying to say. Okay. Let's find
00:01:55 out what soccer fans are thinking. Weird Al Yankovic.
00:01:59 What's your take. I think the all star Cup all star of all
00:02:06 all stars of all time will be me. Oh that's rich. And by rich
00:02:14 I mean hilarious and dumb. Hear me out. Wouldn't I be the all
00:02:18 star Cup all star of all all stars of all time if I were to
00:02:22 oh I don't know. Borrow a teensy bit of soccer skills from each
00:02:28 player using advanced genetics. Weird Al knows advanced
00:02:31 genetics. No it's one of my doctorates. How else could I
00:02:36 have possibly come up with I think I'm a clone now. How Rob
00:02:40 how could I have. Weird Al. Yes Rob Stone. Are you a mad
00:02:47 scientist. I mean who would say yes to that Rob. Do you think a
00:02:53 mad scientist would actually say yes to that. Well you're not
00:02:56 saying you aren't a mad scientist. What I'm saying is
00:03:00 weird Al can do anything he sets his mind to. Observe. This
00:03:05 free kick into that net.
00:03:07 Ow man. There we go. And now time for some fan commentary.
00:03:22 Hey you tall person in a trench coat. He's coming. Who do you
00:03:27 think will be named the all star of all all stars. Megan.
00:03:31 Megan. Megan. Megan. Hey quit punching. And we're done here.
00:03:38 We'll see you at the all star game. For now. My name is Rob
00:03:43 Stone. Think fast. We lost the trench coat. We're also losing
00:03:48 balance. What we're not losing is my chance to get a selfie
00:03:51 with Megan Rapinoe. Now it's high. Not the time.
00:03:55 We're gonna get caught. Quiet. Rapinoe. Where you at. Now it's
00:04:05 high. Not the time. I think. Hey what was that for Zana. Go
00:04:15 ease instinct. We should make this fast. Security's gonna come
00:04:18 around soon. Mama needs a Megan selfie. Let's not waste a single
00:04:23 second. Is that who I think it is. Amazing. Can't be real. I
00:04:33 think not. Whoops. You blocked Zlatan. Zana I'll miss you. Go
00:04:41 ease instinct. You got talent. Not Zlatan's talent but still
00:04:47 talent. Don't feel bad though. No one has Zlatan's talent. That
00:04:51 is true. Now Ty does. At least when it comes to juggling which
00:04:56 from this display appears to be Zlatan's kryptonite. Oh snap. I
00:05:02 propose a juggle off. Double snap. The confidence I admire
00:05:08 but Zlatan is a pro. A pro does not juggle against a kid. Oh you
00:05:13 mean against the kid you're afraid will beat you. But then
00:05:17 again I'm currently off the clock which means Zlatan is
00:05:21 happy to trounce anyone. And he will trounce you. Come on Ty be
00:05:25 reasonable. Reasonable. Not my thing. All right make space
00:05:30 people juggle off on. Allow Zlatan to show you how to juggle
00:05:35 like Zlatan.
00:05:40 [Music]
00:06:08 Uh well tough act to follow. No Ty can always back out. Ah but
00:06:14 no Ty never will. Can I get a juggle off on? Technically it
00:06:19 was never off. Just say juggle off on. I can turn it off and
00:06:23 then turn it back on. Would that work for you? Juggle off on.
00:06:28 [Music]
00:06:41 Woo hoo. Woo hoo. No Ty. Zlatan is impressed but also curious
00:06:46 how you four got in here. We snuck in to meet you. We're a
00:06:49 street football team and we've been saving for all star gang
00:06:52 tickets. It's not easy though. We live in the trailers down by
00:06:55 the old dump. Right down the dead river from the new dump.
00:06:58 The point is we started a business so we could buy all
00:07:01 star tickets and it took off. All thanks to being inspired by
00:07:04 you. And Megan. By the by do you guys hang out? Trying to get a
00:07:08 selfie. Now Ty not the time. Call us the creature catchers.
00:07:15 Pest control. Highest rated pest control on Yelp. Five stars.
00:07:19 Whoop whoop. We run towards the stuff everyone else runs away
00:07:23 from. That's our slogan. Whoop. And this is our commercial.
00:07:28 Oh. What. That. That is a rabbit skunk. And what are those
00:07:34 zappy things? Homemade electro bolas. And those? What is that?
00:07:41 Let me guess. Homemade electro balls? Homemade stun balls.
00:07:47 Your every Yelp store has been earned my friends. Zlatan has
00:07:51 never seen anyone fight off a rabbit raccoon using a back
00:07:54 heel. Zlatan makes it. That's all you Odeng. I got inspired
00:07:58 by your back heel goal against Bostia in 2013. Seems like
00:08:03 soccer's more than just a game for you. We bring soccer into
00:08:08 every aspect of our lives. Makes it very hard to go to libraries.
00:08:12 I can imagine. Only a great team could have caught a rabbit
00:08:15 skunk. Teamwork is how you avoid getting sprayed by stink. Just
00:08:20 like playing against Ronaldo. Anyway, you're all good at what
00:08:23 you do. Or maybe you're incredibly stupid and very
00:08:29 lucky. But either way, you've definitely earned those tickets.
00:08:34 Tickets sold out fast though, so we're out of luck. Good thing I
00:08:37 got four extra. They're all yours. If you promise you got my
00:08:42 back with any creatures that need catching.
00:08:44 [Crickets chirping]
00:08:52 Hello.
00:08:53 [Squeaking]
00:08:57 Thank you so much. I mean, all we wanted to do is say thanks
00:09:01 and give you a coupon. And now this?
00:09:04 Oh. Zlatan didn't get to the top by turning down coupons.
00:09:09 I'll get the tickets. Be back in two minutes. Don't move.
00:09:13 I can't even. There's an itch on my arm. Don't move.
00:09:19 Nothing Zlatan likes more than coming through on a promise to
00:09:23 his fans and not getting distracted at all.
00:09:27 What's that?
00:09:31 A present to Zlatan? Open me. I sure will, mystery gift.
00:09:38 I hope it's a jet pack.
00:09:40 [Footsteps]
00:09:43 Already got one. Now a jet pack.
00:09:46 There's a mystery gift.
00:09:50 They all want selfies. Gotta make my ponytail pretty for
00:09:53 selfies.
00:09:55 What the?
00:09:57 [Ominous music]
00:10:01 [Glass shattering]
00:10:03 Ew.
00:10:05 [Screaming]
00:10:07 Was that Zlatan?
00:10:08 That sounded bad.
00:10:09 I could just itch real quick.
00:10:11 Don't move.
00:10:13 [Laughing]
00:10:15 Ow.
00:10:16 [Sighing]
00:10:17 [Ominous music]
00:10:24 Oh, a cutie little slug baby.
00:10:28 What's your name, sluggy baby?
00:10:31 [Squealing]
00:10:33 Lovely. Is that a family name?
00:10:37 Slug baby.
00:10:40 [Squealing]
00:10:43 Oh, wait.
00:10:44 He said don't move. Stay frozen.
00:10:46 Can't hear you. Running away.
00:10:48 Oh, that's better.
00:10:50 Zlatan, you all right?
00:10:52 Sluggy?
00:10:53 You there, sluggy?
00:10:59 [Squealing]
00:11:02 Slug baby, come on out.
00:11:04 Zlatan's taking you to the slug baby orphanage.
00:11:08 Or I can squash you.
00:11:10 Your choice, tough guy.
00:11:13 [Squealing]
00:11:15 [Ominous music]
00:11:26 [Knocking]
00:11:27 Zlatan, you okay?
00:11:29 Stay in there.
00:11:30 I'm hunting a green, glowy thing.
00:11:32 [Squealing]
00:11:35 Slug!
00:11:37 Yeah, exactly. A slug.
00:11:39 No, behind you!
00:11:41 [Ominous music]
00:11:43 Ow! Ah!
00:11:46 Zlatan!
00:11:47 Hey, get off my funny thing.
00:11:50 She's my best teacher, after my talented face.
00:11:53 [Squealing]
00:11:55 [Ominous music]
00:11:59 Oh!
00:12:01 No, no, do not run!
00:12:04 [Screaming]
00:12:06 [Ominous music]
00:12:09 Ah, what's happening?
00:12:10 No!
00:12:12 This was a new uniform.
00:12:14 Oh, my mucky socks!
00:12:17 [Grunting]
00:12:19 [Grunting]
00:12:21 [Grunting]
00:12:24 [Grunting]
00:12:26 [Ominous music]
00:12:29 What happened?
00:12:30 Uh, there was an incident.
00:12:34 Oh.
00:12:35 What kind of incident causes that?
00:12:38 What kind?
00:12:39 The mutant Zlatan kind!
00:12:43 [Grunting]
00:12:44 [Screaming]
00:12:46 [Grunting]
00:12:48 Now, before he became a mutant, did he...
00:12:52 Did he give you the tickets?
00:12:55 No.
00:12:56 No!
00:13:00 [Ominous music]
00:13:02 [Sizzling]
00:13:04 [Sizzling]
00:13:06 [Sizzling]
00:13:08 [Sizzling]
00:13:10 [Sizzling]
00:13:12 [Sizzling]
00:13:14 [Sizzling]
00:13:16 [Sizzling]
00:13:18 [Sizzling]
00:13:20 [Sizzling]
00:13:22 [Sizzling]
00:13:24 [Sizzling]
00:13:26 [Sizzling]
00:13:28 [Sizzling]
00:13:30 [Sizzling]
00:13:32 Make sure you get the goo dripping down.
00:13:34 Oh, I'm getting the goo.
00:13:36 Yes, a neon slug hatched out of a soccer ball
00:13:39 then turns Zlatan into a rampaging mutant.
00:13:42 Hello? Cheese!
00:13:44 So, 9-1-1, we're on our own.
00:13:47 Well, I guess we're heading home.
00:13:50 Remember what we promised Zlatan?
00:13:52 How we'd have his back with any creatures that needed catching?
00:13:55 Turns out he's the creature!
00:13:57 Oh, I'm all for keeping promises.
00:14:00 But I'm also all for not getting killed by mutant Zlatan!
00:14:04 I hear that, Pallio.
00:14:06 Alone, each of us would definitely get killed.
00:14:09 But remember what Zlatan said?
00:14:11 We catch creatures, we play football.
00:14:14 If there was ever anyone to do this, it's us.
00:14:17 [Whimpering]
00:14:19 I know you're scared. I'm scared.
00:14:21 I'm scared, too. I'm fine.
00:14:24 We might be scared, but at least we're scared together, as a team.
00:14:28 And we're gonna find Zlatan as a team.
00:14:31 And we might get brutally slaughtered,
00:14:33 but at least it'll be a team slaughter.
00:14:35 Good speech!
00:14:37 How are we gonna find him?
00:14:39 How hard can it be to find a rampaging,
00:14:43 mutated, neon-green football legend?
00:14:45 [Laughing]
00:14:54 [Laughing]
00:14:57 Mutant Zlatan smash you all!
00:15:01 Let's suit up fast and get back out there.
00:15:03 Before we risk our lives, can we get a five-second soccer break?
00:15:07 Please?
00:15:08 You know I want to, but there's no time. We gotta suit up.
00:15:11 Come on, just five seconds. I need a recharge. Please?
00:15:15 Hey, keep it down out there!
00:15:18 Just a quiet five-second soccer break?
00:15:21 Now, Tai, mutant Zlatan is on the loose.
00:15:24 No time to... Hey!
00:15:26 Watch this! Ha!
00:15:28 Bam! Goat.
00:15:30 I'll give you a goat. Ha!
00:15:33 [Screaming]
00:15:39 Hey, keep it down out there!
00:15:45 [Screaming]
00:15:48 He's big.
00:15:51 He's terrifying.
00:15:52 He stinks.
00:15:53 Let's go get him.
00:15:54 Cue the suit-up music.
00:15:56 Yes, we're suing up, huh?
00:15:57 Yeah, suit up!
00:15:59 Sweet suit-up music.
00:16:01 Ooh, these color cards are new.
00:16:02 Oh, they're bright and cheerful.
00:16:04 I like.
00:16:06 Ooh!
00:16:07 O'day, why all the racket?
00:16:09 Ha!
00:16:10 Paleo, see you next fall.
00:16:13 Ooh, love the new sneeze guards on us.
00:16:15 I buttoned my sleeves together.
00:16:18 Vintage Paleo.
00:16:19 Let's go!
00:16:21 Great chance, T-Sanders!
00:16:23 You said it before you jumped.
00:16:25 It's as you jump.
00:16:26 You say it, and then you jump.
00:16:28 [Grunting]
00:16:30 [Grunting]
00:16:32 [Glass shattering]
00:16:33 Stupid cloths.
00:16:35 Stupid rope.
00:16:36 How about you keep it down out there?
00:16:39 [Grunting]
00:16:40 He's close.
00:16:41 [Grunting]
00:16:42 I can smell him.
00:16:43 [Grunting]
00:16:44 No.
00:16:45 Bingo!
00:16:46 Please, after you.
00:16:47 There have been multiple sightings
00:16:49 of a rampaging Zlatan,
00:16:51 far more glowy and green than usual.
00:16:54 And we can only speculate as to why.
00:16:56 My money is on superpowers from outer space.
00:17:00 Let's go to the phones.
00:17:02 Caller X, what's your take?
00:17:04 My take is the bad guy is a genius.
00:17:08 You've talked to the bad guy?
00:17:10 Who is it, Caller X?
00:17:12 It's me, Rob.
00:17:13 Obviously, I'm the bad guy.
00:17:15 I'm calling you with a voice modulator
00:17:17 and blowing up the phone.
00:17:19 I'm hosting in a coy manner.
00:17:21 Who else could it possibly be
00:17:23 other than a bad guy?
00:17:25 Hello, Rob.
00:17:26 Hello!
00:17:27 Hey, no need to get snippy, Caller X.
00:17:30 If the bad guy wants to snip,
00:17:32 he'll snip.
00:17:33 Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip.
00:17:35 Caller X mutated Zlatan?
00:17:37 That's right.
00:17:38 And Zlatan won't be the last all-star either.
00:17:41 Soon, I'll have talent from every all-star.
00:17:44 [Evil laughter]
00:17:46 [Evil laughter]
00:17:49 [Evil laughter]
00:17:52 My voice modulator!
00:17:54 [Stammering]
00:17:56 As I was saying...
00:17:58 [Evil laughter]
00:18:00 Say what you will about Caller X,
00:18:02 but that is a mighty fine evil laugh.
00:18:05 I'm Rob Stone.
00:18:07 Rapinoe moves in on the goal.
00:18:09 Victory in sight.
00:18:10 [Barking]
00:18:11 Ooh, ah, ooh, hey.
00:18:13 [Barking]
00:18:15 [Barking]
00:18:17 Macready isn't making a move as Rapinoe shoots.
00:18:20 [Grunts]
00:18:21 [Barking]
00:18:23 Oh, last-minute steal by Macready.
00:18:26 Rapinoe has been defeated by her own pet.
00:18:29 Unbelievable!
00:18:31 [Grunts]
00:18:32 [Ding]
00:18:33 Huh, rematch.
00:18:35 Coming right at you.
00:18:36 [Growling]
00:18:38 [Door opens]
00:18:39 Huh?
00:18:40 Huh?
00:18:41 Oh.
00:18:42 It's a mystery gift.
00:18:44 Maybe it's a jet pack.
00:18:46 [Footsteps]
00:18:48 Soccer ball?
00:18:49 Ugh, I already got one.
00:18:51 [Footsteps]
00:18:53 [Growling]
00:18:55 [Grunts]
00:18:56 [Growling]
00:18:57 [Grunts]
00:18:58 [Groans]
00:19:00 [Grunts]
00:19:01 [Groans]
00:19:02 [Groans]
00:19:03 [Growling]
00:19:04 [Grunts]
00:19:05 Nice try.
00:19:06 You want to distract me so you can win tug-of-war.
00:19:09 Well, it ain't happening, buster.
00:19:11 Bark all you want.
00:19:12 Don't convince me to turn around.
00:19:14 Not gonna happen.
00:19:16 Macready?
00:19:18 [Growling]
00:19:20 [Grunts]
00:19:21 [Growling]
00:19:23 [Grunts]
00:19:24 Macready?
00:19:25 Macready!
00:19:27 [Growling]
00:19:29 [Grunts]
00:19:30 [Grunts]
00:19:31 [Grunts]
00:19:32 [Grunts]
00:19:33 [Grunts]
00:19:34 [Grunts]
00:19:35 [Grunts]
00:19:36 [Growls]
00:19:37 What even is that?
00:19:39 [Door opens]
00:19:40 [Door closes]
00:19:41 Some guard dog you are.
00:19:43 [Door opens]
00:19:44 [Door closes]
00:19:45 [Door opens]
00:19:46 [Growling]
00:19:48 [Grunts]
00:19:49 Where'd you go, little green guy?
00:19:52 [Growling]
00:19:54 [Growling]
00:19:56 [Growling]
00:19:57 [Growling]
00:19:58 [Growling]
00:19:59 [♪♪♪]
00:20:02 [Grunts]
00:20:05 This job should be easy.
00:20:07 It's like mainfront.
00:20:08 [Panting]
00:20:09 I can't believe we lost him.
00:20:10 It's latan.
00:20:12 And you're surprised he's beating us?
00:20:14 No sign of him.
00:20:15 I'll see to it.
00:20:16 This makes no sense.
00:20:17 He's gotta be around here somewhere.
00:20:20 [Growling]
00:20:23 [Growling]
00:20:25 [Grunts]
00:20:26 [Grunts]
00:20:27 [Grunts]
00:20:28 [Grunts]
00:20:29 [Grunts]
00:20:30 [Grunts]
00:20:31 [♪♪♪]
00:20:34 Oh, suspicious billboard.
00:20:36 We gotta keep looking.
00:20:37 Oh, I vote for a 30-second sit break.
00:20:40 [Grunts]
00:20:41 [Grunts]
00:20:42 [Grunts]
00:20:43 [Grunts]
00:20:44 [Panting]
00:20:45 [Blows raspberry]
00:20:46 Come on, sir!
00:20:47 [Grunts]
00:20:48 [Grunts]
00:20:49 [Grunts]
00:20:50 [Grunts]
00:20:51 [Grunts]
00:20:52 [Grunts]
00:20:53 Oops.
00:20:54 It was an accident.
00:20:55 Also, it wasn't real!
00:20:57 [Laughs]
00:20:58 No, latan.
00:20:59 Why you gotta keep that thing inflated all the time?
00:21:01 First rule of whoopee cushion is keep it inflated all the time.
00:21:04 Huh.
00:21:05 I thought the first rule of whoopee cushion is never talk about whoopee cushion.
00:21:08 That's the third rule.
00:21:09 What's the second rule?
00:21:10 I've already said too much.
00:21:12 [Phone rings]
00:21:13 Creature catchers are currently out on an emergency.
00:21:16 [Dog barking]
00:21:17 Did you just say...
00:21:19 a glowing green slug?
00:21:21 From a football?
00:21:22 Inside a present?
00:21:24 Run away!
00:21:25 [Speaking in foreign language]
00:21:27 Whatever that was,
00:21:29 gotta make sure it happens zero more times.
00:21:33 Must call stadium.
00:21:35 Find out who sent sluggy present.
00:21:37 [Electricity crackles]
00:21:38 Oh!
00:21:39 [Laughs]
00:21:40 [Bell dings]
00:21:41 Hey, welcome to my joke shop.
00:21:43 Smell this flower.
00:21:44 [Crackles]
00:21:45 Ah, got you.
00:21:46 It's a snake.
00:21:47 This is no time for jokes.
00:21:48 I need to use your phone.
00:21:50 Ooh, a joke phone?
00:21:52 A real phone.
00:21:53 Nope.
00:21:54 But how about a whoopee cushion, huh?
00:21:57 [Screams]
00:21:58 No!
00:21:59 Not again!
00:22:00 Geez, no need to mutate, buddy.
00:22:02 [Glass shatters]
00:22:03 [Bell dings]
00:22:04 Hey, watch it.
00:22:06 That Faberge, put him in his vintage.
00:22:08 [Grunts]
00:22:10 Must keep control.
00:22:13 [Grunts]
00:22:15 Cannot fully mutate.
00:22:19 [Grunts]
00:22:20 At least some part of me is still normal.
00:22:24 I got to find out who sent me that present
00:22:27 and then punch them in the face!
00:22:30 [Breathing heavily]
00:22:32 [Grunts]
00:22:33 Bouncy.
00:22:34 Bouncy.
00:22:35 Bouncy.
00:22:36 Bouncy.
00:22:37 Bouncy.
00:22:38 Bouncy.
00:22:39 Bouncy.
00:22:40 Bouncy.
00:22:41 Bouncy.
00:22:42 Okay, now, Ty, no bigs,
00:22:44 just your all-time hero.
00:22:46 You good, Ty?
00:22:47 Nope.
00:22:48 I'm gonna have to scream.
00:22:49 Please don't.
00:22:50 [Screams]
00:22:52 Ugh.
00:22:54 [Screams]
00:22:56 [Gasps]
00:22:57 Megan needs us,
00:22:58 and now Ty needs a selfie!
00:23:00 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:03 Hey, I'm over here.
00:23:05 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:08 Is it a talking statue?
00:23:10 Are you a talking statue?
00:23:12 No, over here!
00:23:14 ♪ Hallelujah ♪
00:23:16 ♪ Hallelujah ♪
00:23:18 ♪ Hallelujah ♪
00:23:19 [Screams]
00:23:20 Can I get a selfie?
00:23:22 No, Ty, not the time!
00:23:24 Yeah, what she said.
00:23:25 I'm hiding from a mutant slug.
00:23:27 You kids get out of here.
00:23:28 It's too dangerous.
00:23:30 This thing's out for blood.
00:23:32 I'm waiting for a team
00:23:34 of highly capable creature catchers.
00:23:36 We are them.
00:23:37 You're highly capable?
00:23:39 Don't worry.
00:23:40 We got this all taken care--
00:23:42 [Screams]
00:23:43 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:46 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:49 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:52 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:55 Ah, so annoying!
00:23:58 [Helicopter whirring]
00:23:59 Careful.
00:24:00 It might look like a regular
00:24:01 slow-moving slug,
00:24:02 but I assure you,
00:24:03 it moves very, very fast.
00:24:05 [Screams]
00:24:06 Get that slug off of there!
00:24:08 Now!
00:24:09 Do not let it latch on!
00:24:11 Is it latching on?
00:24:12 Did it latch on?
00:24:13 It latched on.
00:24:14 [Groans]
00:24:15 Don't worry, Megan.
00:24:16 I'll rip that slug off
00:24:17 and stomp it good!
00:24:19 [Screams]
00:24:20 [Helicopter whirring]
00:24:23 [Screams]
00:24:24 [Gasps]
00:24:25 Can I get a selfie?
00:24:27 Not the time!
00:24:29 It's very upset.
00:24:31 I think so.
00:24:32 [Laughs]
00:24:34 [Gasps]
00:24:35 [Grunts]
00:24:36 [Grunts]
00:24:37 [Grunts]
00:24:38 [Grunts]
00:24:39 [Grunts]
00:24:40 Eww.
00:24:42 Still a fan, though.
00:24:43 [Grunts]
00:24:44 [Grunts]
00:24:45 [Grunts]
00:24:46 [Grunts]
00:24:47 [Grunts]
00:24:48 [Grunts]
00:24:49 [Grunts]
00:24:50 [Grunts]
00:24:51 Come on!
00:24:52 [Grunts]
00:24:53 [Grunts]
00:24:54 [Grunts]
00:24:55 [Grunts]
00:24:56 [Grunts]
00:24:57 [Grunts]
00:24:58 [Grunts]
00:24:59 [Grunts]
00:25:00 [Grunts]
00:25:01 [Grunts]
00:25:02 [Grunts]
00:25:03 [Grunts]
00:25:04 She almost killed us.
00:25:06 You okay, Kai?
00:25:07 Let's go!
00:25:08 Okay, I guess she's fine.
00:25:10 [Grunts]
00:25:15 [Grunts]
00:25:16 [Grunts]
00:25:17 [Grunts]
00:25:18 [Grunts]
00:25:19 Not only is he among the great artists of our time,
00:25:21 he's also a highly respected brain surgeon
00:25:24 and a die-hard fan of soccer football.
00:25:27 I'm proud to dedicate this new hospital
00:25:29 to the esteemed Dr. Weird Al Yankovic!
00:25:32 [Cheers and applause]
00:25:34 Mwah!
00:25:35 Hey, y'all!
00:25:36 I'd love to give a speech,
00:25:38 but we have a trauma patient who needs immediate attention.
00:25:41 [Grunts]
00:25:42 [Cheers and applause]
00:25:44 [Grunts]
00:25:45 [Gasps]
00:25:46 Pinky!
00:25:48 [Grunts]
00:25:49 [Panting]
00:25:51 Don't worry, Pinky.
00:25:52 I save you.
00:25:53 [Crying]
00:25:55 [Groans]
00:25:56 [Screams]
00:25:57 Aw.
00:25:58 Nothing like performing a nice, delicate seven-hour surgery.
00:26:02 [Grunts]
00:26:03 [Grunts]
00:26:04 [Grunts]
00:26:05 [Grunts]
00:26:06 [Cheers and applause]
00:26:08 Thank you. Thank you!
00:26:10 I am happy to accept this research grant
00:26:12 on behalf of my wonderful, talented, and humble self.
00:26:16 I am currently in the middle of some mind-blowing
00:26:18 genetic advancements that will simply blow your minds!
00:26:24 [Beeping]
00:26:25 Which I'm too busy with to waste any time talking to you people.
00:26:29 [Grunts]
00:26:30 [Gasps]
00:26:31 Give me that oversized check!
00:26:33 [Beeping]
00:26:36 And now the mayor, Dr. Weird Al Yankovic.
00:26:39 Trusty shears, please.
00:26:41 I declare this spatula emporium open for business!
00:26:45 [Cheering]
00:26:46 I like spatulas!
00:26:48 I love spatulas!
00:26:50 Mayor Weird Al is a lot nicer than scientist Weird Al.
00:26:55 [Beeping]
00:26:58 [Screaming]
00:27:01 [Gasping]
00:27:02 [Screaming]
00:27:04 [Mumbling]
00:27:06 [Sniffing]
00:27:07 [Groaning]
00:27:09 Hey, Sloth Hunt! Stop!
00:27:12 [Grunts]
00:27:14 A talking fire hydrant?
00:27:17 No!
00:27:18 A talking hat on a fire hydrant?
00:27:21 No, it's me!
00:27:23 Up here!
00:27:25 On your head!
00:27:26 Ponytail?
00:27:28 That's my name! Don't wear it out!
00:27:31 Since when do you talk?
00:27:33 Since that mutant slug bit me!
00:27:35 He was supposed to latch onto your head,
00:27:37 but he latched onto me!
00:27:39 Now I can talk and feel and sing!
00:27:42 Hmm.
00:27:43 I also got bad vibes about you going to see that Weird Al guy.
00:27:46 Allow me to explain. Through song!
00:27:48 Nah, nah, nah!
00:27:50 We don't have budget for a musical number.
00:27:52 Look! Ponytail!
00:27:53 I know you're tight-dined, but loosen up a little!
00:27:56 Do what you do best.
00:27:58 Hang around. Look pretty.
00:28:00 That is what I do best,
00:28:02 but still, you gotta trust me, Zlatan!
00:28:05 I need to find out what's going on with this guy.
00:28:08 Now pipe down, or I'll make you into a bun!
00:28:12 A man bun? Anything but that!
00:28:15 Yeesh! Tall building.
00:28:19 I ain't so good with heights myself.
00:28:22 Huh?
00:28:23 [Grunts]
00:28:25 [Grunts]
00:28:27 [Groans]
00:28:29 [Groans]
00:28:31 [Sniffing]
00:28:38 [Gurgling]
00:28:40 [Growling]
00:28:42 [Doorbell rings]
00:28:44 [Gurgling]
00:28:46 [Growling]
00:28:48 [Humming]
00:28:50 [Growling]
00:28:52 [Growling]
00:28:54 [Gurgling]
00:28:56 [Grunts]
00:28:58 [Gurgling]
00:29:01 [Gurgling]
00:29:03 [Gurgling]
00:29:05 Hey! Get your green, glowy paws off my snickerdoodles!
00:29:09 [Grunts]
00:29:11 Ha! She caught herself.
00:29:13 Mission accomplished!
00:29:15 [Growling]
00:29:17 [Growling]
00:29:19 [Grunts]
00:29:21 Mission unaccomplished!
00:29:23 [Growling]
00:29:25 [Gasps]
00:29:27 Did we ever run away?
00:29:29 Ah! Can I get a selfie?
00:29:33 Now we'll tie. Not the time!
00:29:36 She's not even here.
00:29:38 Sorry. I just-- I love her so much.
00:29:41 Even as a rampaging slug mutant.
00:29:43 Everybody keep your eyes peeled for two glowing green giants.
00:29:47 [Grunts]
00:29:49 [Laughs]
00:29:51 [Grunts]
00:29:53 Don't worry. We got this.
00:29:56 We've been in way scarier situations.
00:29:58 Like what?
00:30:00 Remember the time we had to land that plane?
00:30:02 It was scary, but we did it.
00:30:04 Oh, dang. That was a dream you had.
00:30:07 But still, we did it.
00:30:10 [Grunts]
00:30:12 [Gurgles]
00:30:14 [Grunts]
00:30:16 [Grunts]
00:30:18 [Grunts]
00:30:20 [Growling]
00:30:22 [Growling]
00:30:24 Can I get a selfie?
00:30:26 Still not the time!
00:30:28 Sona, Palio, ready stun sticks.
00:30:31 Wha-- What?
00:30:35 You can't stun stick, Megan. She's unstun-able!
00:30:38 We're gonna find out. Ready?
00:30:41 Aim! Fire!
00:30:43 [Growling]
00:30:45 [Grunts]
00:30:47 [Grunts]
00:30:49 [Growling]
00:30:51 [Growling]
00:30:53 [Growling]
00:30:55 [Growling]
00:30:57 You got this, Ty!
00:30:59 Come on! Throw it!
00:31:03 [Grunts]
00:31:05 I...
00:31:07 I can't...
00:31:09 I can't stun-bow my hero!
00:31:11 [Growling]
00:31:13 [Growling]
00:31:15 No, Ty, run! Get out of there!
00:31:18 [Grunts]
00:31:20 [Gasps]
00:31:22 Oops.
00:31:24 [Growling]
00:31:26 [Growling]
00:31:33 [Grunts]
00:31:35 [Grunts]
00:31:37 [Grunts]
00:31:39 [Growling]
00:31:41 [Growling]
00:31:43 [Growling]
00:31:45 [Growling]
00:31:47 [Growling]
00:31:49 [Gasps]
00:31:51 Don't think I've been that way!
00:31:53 [Groaning]
00:31:55 [Growling]
00:31:57 [Grunts]
00:31:59 Uh... uh...
00:32:01 [Growling]
00:32:03 [Screaming]
00:32:05 Hey! Whoa!
00:32:07 [Growling]
00:32:09 [Groans]
00:32:11 [Sighs]
00:32:13 Boy, am I glad the first rule of whoopee cushion
00:32:15 is keep it inflated at all times.
00:32:17 Can I know the second rule yet?
00:32:19 Yes, my child.
00:32:21 Always keep a spare.
00:32:23 [Groans]
00:32:25 [Growling]
00:32:27 [Growling]
00:32:29 Deploy it again!
00:32:31 [Gasps]
00:32:33 [Growling]
00:32:35 [Growling]
00:32:37 [Screams]
00:32:39 [Gurgling]
00:32:41 Stop hitting the whoopee!
00:32:44 [Squeaks]
00:32:46 It appears the sonic quality of the deployment
00:32:49 triggers the mutation!
00:32:51 English, please.
00:32:53 Squeeze the whoopee, save the all-stars.
00:32:56 Got it.
00:32:58 The whoopee cushion is go.
00:33:00 [Thud]
00:33:07 Oops.
00:33:09 [Sniffs]
00:33:11 [Sighs]
00:33:13 Present came from here.
00:33:16 If Mayor Weird Al did this,
00:33:19 then he can reverse it.
00:33:21 But I won't.
00:33:23 Hello, Zlatan,
00:33:25 my favorite mutant slug baby of all.
00:33:27 Zlatan is nobody's slug baby.
00:33:30 Now spill the beans, Dr. Mayor Dr. Weird Al.
00:33:34 Why am I a mutant?
00:33:39 I found an enzyme that makes talent tangible
00:33:43 and extractable
00:33:45 with only a single side effect.
00:33:47 A hideous mutation?
00:33:49 Let me finish!
00:33:51 A hideous mutation!
00:33:53 The slug brings talent to the surface.
00:33:55 I extract it from you and inject it into me.
00:33:58 Then, boom!
00:34:00 Weird Al is the all-star cup,
00:34:02 all-star of all all-stars of all-time star
00:34:04 of all all-time star!
00:34:06 You're going to do that by stealing Zlatan's soccer skills!
00:34:10 When you put it that way,
00:34:12 it sounds positively brilliant.
00:34:14 If I do say so.
00:34:16 Yeah?
00:34:18 Sounds to me like it's not going to work out for you.
00:34:21 Hey!
00:34:23 ( grunting )
00:34:25 ( grunting )
00:34:27 Hey, hey, hey!
00:34:29 Don't! Don't!
00:34:31 How did Weird Al do that to Zlatan?
00:34:34 Well, I do have some of your fellow all-stars to thank
00:34:37 for these newfound soccer skills of mine.
00:34:40 You stole all-star talent already?
00:34:43 You monster!
00:34:45 ( grunting )
00:34:47 ( grunting )
00:34:49 Huh? Huh?
00:34:51 ( laughing )
00:34:54 And I'll be even stronger once I steal yours!
00:34:58 A evil maniacal laughter!
00:35:01 I think you're supposed to actually do the laugh.
00:35:04 I'm not your monkey, Zlatan!
00:35:07 ( laughing )
00:35:09 Ow!
00:35:11 ( grunting )
00:35:13 ( grunting )
00:35:15 ( grunting )
00:35:17 You're good to go, Ms. Rapinoe.
00:35:20 Thank you for choosing the creature catchers.
00:35:23 ( grunting )
00:35:25 ( grunting )
00:35:27 ( grunting )
00:35:29 Hallelujah! Happy holidays!
00:35:31 Felt kind of good destroying stuff.
00:35:34 Eating cookies always feels good, but...
00:35:37 I do not want to mutate again.
00:35:40 Slugs shouldn't bother you anymore.
00:35:42 Also...
00:35:43 ( laughing )
00:35:44 Can I get a selfie?
00:35:45 Yes, already. Geez!
00:35:47 ( music playing )
00:35:50 ( camera shutter clicking )
00:35:52 ( camera shutter clicking )
00:35:54 ( laughing )
00:35:56 Selfie, selfie, selfie!
00:35:58 You whoopie cushion kids saved my life!
00:36:01 We're not called that.
00:36:03 Well, actually...
00:36:04 Hang on, whoopie cushion kids.
00:36:05 Talk to me.
00:36:06 Oh, no.
00:36:08 Oh, no!
00:36:10 There's a group of paranoid all-stars down at the stadium.
00:36:12 They won't take the field till they know none of them is a mutant.
00:36:15 Don't worry.
00:36:16 You can count on the whoopie cushion kids.
00:36:18 I mean, the creature catchers.
00:36:20 You and me will find Flaton.
00:36:22 You go with Megan and make sure none of the other all-stars got slugged.
00:36:25 Once we do that, we're all good and the gang can go on.
00:36:28 I got a selfie.
00:36:29 Let's make this fast.
00:36:31 All-star cup starts in an hour.
00:36:33 Selfie, selfie, selfie!
00:36:35 ( mumbling )
00:36:38 I know I might sound insane, but I assure you...
00:36:41 ( mumbling )
00:36:44 ( laughing )
00:36:45 Just kidding.
00:36:48 Look, I didn't set out to take all your talent.
00:36:52 Just a drop, really.
00:36:54 I thought if I could have a drop of talent from each all-star,
00:36:59 then I could inject it into myself
00:37:01 and become the greatest all-star of all time.
00:37:04 The gas-oat, as it were.
00:37:07 You won't stop until you do this to every all-star?
00:37:12 Only way to become the gas-oat is to mutate a few all-stars.
00:37:17 Now, if I could just remove the slug that sucked up your talent,
00:37:21 I'll just take a drop and then be on my way--
00:37:24 Hey, where's your slug?
00:37:27 Huh.
00:37:28 It looks like it merged with your ponytail.
00:37:31 Fascinating.
00:37:33 ( laughing )
00:37:34 ( screaming )
00:37:36 ( grunting )
00:37:38 Run, Slughorn!
00:37:40 It talks?
00:37:41 Weird Al, meet Ponytail.
00:37:44 Come on, we gotta go.
00:37:47 Ponytail, prepare to meet my trusty giant shears.
00:37:52 ( mumbling )
00:37:54 Goodbye, trusty shears.
00:37:57 Take that, Weird Al, and take that, trusty shears.
00:38:01 Too bad I don't also have a trusty bone saw.
00:38:05 Oh, wait!
00:38:05 Toodle-oo, Ponytail.
00:38:07 Sloth-on, don't let him cut me.
00:38:10 ( growling )
00:38:13 ( singing )
00:38:16 ( growling )
00:38:19 ( singing )
00:38:22 ( growling )
00:38:25 ( singing )
00:38:28 ( growling )
00:38:30 ( groaning )
00:38:34 ( grunting )
00:38:36 Got you!
00:38:42 ( screaming )
00:38:44 ( sighing )
00:38:46 ( grunting )
00:38:48 Sloth-on moves like a newborn.
00:38:50 Why is this?
00:38:52 All your talent got sucked into here.
00:38:55 Just waiting to be injected into yours truly.
00:38:59 What happened to taking just a drop?
00:39:03 You promised!
00:39:03 I don't recall that.
00:39:05 ( laughing )
00:39:07 Ta-da!
00:39:09 ( grunting )
00:39:11 ( grunting )
00:39:14 ( grunting )
00:39:16 Okay, Ponytail, give it up.
00:39:19 I stole that talent fair and square.
00:39:21 Stay back, Weird Al.
00:39:23 I'm a wild card.
00:39:25 A wild card, huh?
00:39:27 If I had a nickel for every time I heard a Ponytail say that.
00:39:32 Oh, yeah?
00:39:32 Well, now you're dealing with Sloth-on's Ponytail.
00:39:35 ( grunting )
00:39:38 ( grunting )
00:39:40 Wow, I kick exactly like you, Sloth-on.
00:39:43 Hey, if you can do kung fu, does that mean--
00:39:47 Well, I can already tell you that--
00:39:49 Oh, you have definitely inherited--
00:39:51 Ow!
00:39:52 Sloth-on's kung fu skills.
00:39:54 In addition to his--
00:39:56 Magnetic gaze.
00:39:58 ( howling )
00:40:01 Wow, Sloth-on, I never knew it'd feel this incredible
00:40:03 to be surging with so much concentrated talent.
00:40:07 And I never knew it would feel so awful having it taken away.
00:40:12 Hey, what are you doing?
00:40:14 Reattaching you.
00:40:16 I want my talent back.
00:40:18 Let's not be too hasty here.
00:40:20 Oh, hey, look, smooth bombs.
00:40:22 ( grunting )
00:40:23 Quick, Sloth-on, take it away.
00:40:26 ( grunting )
00:40:29 ( laughing )
00:40:31 How did I miss that?
00:40:33 Because I have all your talent.
00:40:35 Don't be silly. Observe.
00:40:37 ( grunting )
00:40:38 Told you, you got no more talent.
00:40:42 Ah, you see?
00:40:44 It's all inside me now.
00:40:46 ( laughing )
00:40:47 Not for long, Ponytail.
00:40:49 Yoink!
00:40:50 All that talent is about to go to its new home.
00:40:53 Inside Weird Al.
00:40:56 Sloth-on.
00:40:58 ( laughing )
00:41:01 I feel so...
00:41:04 Sloth-on-y.
00:41:06 ( humming )
00:41:10 Ah, feels good to be the all-star game,
00:41:14 all-star of all all-stars of all time.
00:41:17 You didn't earn that talent.
00:41:19 I'll earn bragging rights for stealing it, though.
00:41:22 And a Nobel Prize if there's any justice.
00:41:24 Anyway, victory awaits.
00:41:26 Grappling accordion away!
00:41:29 Sloth-on!
00:41:33 Ponytail!
00:41:36 ( grunting )
00:41:44 No, no, Ponytail.
00:41:48 Okay, y'all, listen up.
00:41:50 These weirdos may not look like much,
00:41:52 but the Whoopie Kitchen kids are no joke.
00:41:55 Despite their joke-like name,
00:41:57 these two are gonna tell you if you're a slug or not.
00:42:01 Okay, everybody, what we're about to do is serious business.
00:42:05 ( whirring )
00:42:07 Is that a Whoopie Cushion?
00:42:09 Indeed it is, soccer player number one.
00:42:11 What?
00:42:12 Now, before I explain,
00:42:14 there's just one thing I must get out of the way.
00:42:16 ( laughing )
00:42:17 Can I get a selfie?
00:42:19 Hello. Already gave you one.
00:42:22 Right. Sorry.
00:42:23 Now, as soon as I deploy this Whoopie Cushion,
00:42:26 we'll quickly discover if any of you
00:42:28 is a hideous, glowing slug mutant.
00:42:30 Do you really expect us to believe
00:42:32 that a fart bag will prove
00:42:34 which of us is a hideous slug mutant?
00:42:37 Hey, these two were part of the team
00:42:39 that saved me when I got slugged.
00:42:41 Give the Whoopie Cushion a chance.
00:42:44 Sounds like something a slug mutant would say.
00:42:47 Gee, you seem to know a lot about what slug mutants say,
00:42:51 don't you?
00:42:52 You're a slug mutant.
00:42:53 It's getting real.
00:42:54 No, I knew you were a mutant.
00:42:56 Stop fighting!
00:42:58 Look at you, turning on one another.
00:43:01 Soccer is a team sport.
00:43:03 And whether you like it or not,
00:43:05 you're all still a team.
00:43:07 We'll conduct the test one at a time
00:43:09 in case you all got slugged.
00:43:12 You're no mutant.
00:43:15 You're wasting everyone's time.
00:43:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:43:18 That's what all the mutants say.
00:43:20 [piano playing]
00:43:23 Don't worry, Nohutai.
00:43:29 I got your back.
00:43:30 Me and this broom.
00:43:31 Hello, I am not a mutant!
00:43:34 Squeeze a fart bag!
00:43:36 [farting]
00:43:39 Is he mutating?
00:43:41 Are you mutating?
00:43:42 Oh, not a mutant.
00:43:45 Oh, good.
00:43:46 Phew.
00:43:47 Told you.
00:43:48 I knew the whole time.
00:43:51 Ha-ha!
00:43:52 Woo-hoo!
00:43:53 ♪ La, I am not a mutant ♪
00:43:57 All right, I'm up.
00:43:59 Don't worry.
00:44:00 This will be quick and painless.
00:44:02 [farting]
00:44:04 See?
00:44:05 I told you I was--
00:44:06 [farting]
00:44:09 [farting]
00:44:12 [piano playing]
00:44:16 [piano playing]
00:44:20 [piano playing]
00:44:48 Come on, Zlatan.
00:44:50 Kick it.
00:44:51 You know you can kick it.
00:44:54 No.
00:44:55 [grunts]
00:44:56 No!
00:44:58 [crying]
00:45:01 Game starts in ten minutes.
00:45:12 Keep your eyes peeled for Zlatan.
00:45:14 What about that crying hobo who kind of looks like Zlatan?
00:45:17 That crying hobo is Zlatan.
00:45:19 [crying]
00:45:21 [snoring]
00:45:22 [coughing]
00:45:23 Zlatan?
00:45:24 Nope.
00:45:25 Just a pile of talentless skin,
00:45:28 talentless bones,
00:45:29 and no ponytail.
00:45:31 How does it look?
00:45:40 [groans]
00:45:41 So how'd all this go down?
00:45:43 It's a tale as old as time.
00:45:45 Word Al stole my talent
00:45:47 to become the all-star cop,
00:45:49 all-star of all,
00:45:50 all-stars of all time.
00:45:52 And there's nothing I can do.
00:45:56 You can't just give up.
00:45:58 You're still Zlatan,
00:46:00 with or without your talent.
00:46:02 Good point.
00:46:04 But we gotta get to the stadium before Word Al.
00:46:07 [gulping]
00:46:09 And I just barely learned to walk again.
00:46:11 You're gonna have to learn to do a lot of stuff again.
00:46:14 [dog barking]
00:46:17 Now try to kick the ball.
00:46:22 Zlatan will not try to kick.
00:46:25 Zlatan will kick.
00:46:27 What's your problem?
00:46:34 It's cool.
00:46:36 We'll just take it slow.
00:46:38 Zlatan, we need you to juggle.
00:46:40 I can't.
00:46:41 My talent has been stolen.
00:46:43 All I have now is my beauty.
00:46:46 Then you're just gonna have to grow some new talent, aren't you?
00:46:50 Again, please.
00:46:59 Again.
00:47:09 Again.
00:47:11 Hey, keep it down out there!
00:47:18 Again.
00:47:20 Nice! You're doing it!
00:47:25 Get the ball from us.
00:47:28 But that seemed so hard.
00:47:30 'Tis a sad day.
00:47:32 Why is that, O'day?
00:47:34 Zlatan can't get a ball from two kids.
00:47:37 Hey, now, watch it.
00:47:39 You want to speak to Zlatan?
00:47:42 Again.
00:47:48 Come on, Zlatan. You're the best.
00:47:51 ♪ Try to be best 'Cause you're only a man ♪
00:47:57 ♪ And a man's got to learn to do it ♪
00:47:59 Again, please.
00:48:01 ♪ Try to believe When the going gets rough ♪
00:48:03 ♪ That you gotta hang tough to make it ♪
00:48:05 ♪ History repeats itself ♪
00:48:08 ♪ You never doubt that you're the one ♪
00:48:11 ♪ And you can have your dreams ♪
00:48:13 Again.
00:48:15 ♪ You're the best around ♪
00:48:17 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
00:48:19 ♪ You're the best around ♪
00:48:21 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
00:48:23 ♪ You're the best around ♪
00:48:26 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
00:48:30 ♪ Fight 'til you drop ♪
00:48:36 ♪ You never stop, you can't give up ♪
00:48:39 ♪ Until you reach the top ♪
00:48:41 ♪ Fight! ♪
00:48:42 ♪ You're the best in town ♪
00:48:44 ♪ Fight! ♪
00:48:45 ♪ Listen to that sound ♪
00:48:47 ♪ You're the best around ♪
00:48:49 ♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
00:48:51 That's better.
00:48:53 Now I feel like Zlatan.
00:48:56 I would describe the feeling,
00:48:58 but the world will die of envy.
00:49:01 Someone's back to normal.
00:49:05 ( cheering )
00:49:07 Zlatan! Zlatan! Zlatan!
00:49:10 Attention, soccer football fans.
00:49:14 The game will begin in two minutes.
00:49:17 Also, has anyone seen Zlatan?
00:49:20 ( cheering )
00:49:22 ( grunts )
00:49:24 I'm a mutant.
00:49:26 ( laughing )
00:49:28 You totally fell for it!
00:49:30 Hey, Zlatan, what do you think
00:49:32 of bringing our buddies up to the field?
00:49:34 Time for the All-Stars to hit the field.
00:49:37 And we are short four players,
00:49:40 so you're gonna have to join us.
00:49:43 You got the talent.
00:49:45 You just need better uniforms.
00:49:48 It is time for an exterior establishing shot.
00:49:53 And now the interior as the crowd goes wild.
00:49:56 And here come the All-Stars,
00:49:58 inexplicably joined by four local youths.
00:50:01 I, for one, am here for it.
00:50:03 ( cheering )
00:50:05 Shouldn't we keep looking for Weird Al?
00:50:09 And Ponytail?
00:50:11 You wanna delay the All-Star game?
00:50:13 Point taken.
00:50:15 Let's play some soccer!
00:50:17 Oh, yes, let's.
00:50:19 ( laughing )
00:50:22 Mutant Weird Al showing off his talent
00:50:27 or rather every All-Stars talent.
00:50:31 Wow, impressive.
00:50:33 You got skills, Weird Al.
00:50:35 Don't applaud him. He's the villain.
00:50:37 Okay, everyone, listen up.
00:50:40 ( loud horn blaring )
00:50:43 Okay, everyone listening?
00:50:50 ( all talking at once )
00:50:53 What?
00:50:55 I'm Rob Stone.
00:51:01 As you all know, I've got more talent
00:51:04 than any of you could ever dream of having.
00:51:06 And I gotta admit, it feels good.
00:51:10 - Poor ball! - Boo!
00:51:12 You stink!
00:51:14 Now, now, no need to get upset.
00:51:16 I'm gonna give you a chance
00:51:18 to win all your talent back.
00:51:21 A game.
00:51:23 On one team, all of you.
00:51:25 On the other team, me and a couple of slugs.
00:51:28 You lose, I get all your talent.
00:51:30 ( gasping )
00:51:32 And if we win?
00:51:34 Ha! Oh, you definitely will not win.
00:51:38 If we do, you give back every drop of talent you stole.
00:51:42 Deal! Or I take all your talent anyway.
00:51:45 - What was that? - Nothing.
00:51:47 Game time!
00:51:49 Team Mutant, assemble!
00:51:52 ( laughing )
00:52:01 ( music playing )
00:52:03 Gotta get Ponytail off Word Ale.
00:52:06 What about the All-Star Game?
00:52:08 Yeah, we gotta do that, too, at the same time.
00:52:11 Oh, right.
00:52:13 Good thing it's not something difficult.
00:52:15 Let the game begin!
00:52:18 So here we are.
00:52:27 If this was a movie, this would definitely be
00:52:29 the climax at the end.
00:52:31 The crowd is electrified in anticipation of a battle
00:52:34 that can only be described as...
00:52:36 What?
00:52:38 On one side, Zlatan, Megan,
00:52:42 and those scrappy youths with hearts of gold.
00:52:44 On the other side, Weird Al
00:52:46 and his army of gelatinous mutants
00:52:48 who is going home with the All-Star Cup.
00:52:51 I'm Rob Stone.
00:52:53 ( cheering )
00:52:55 ( cheering )
00:52:58 ( speaking gibberish )
00:53:02 ( whistle blowing )
00:53:06 ( music playing )
00:53:09 ( speaking gibberish )
00:53:17 These mutant slugs are on the move,
00:53:20 much like Mannequin 2.
00:53:22 Whoa! Zlatan!
00:53:24 Limbo's in for a steal!
00:53:26 Can the slugs limbo lower now?
00:53:28 Here comes mutant Weird Al
00:53:30 to show him how it's done mutant style.
00:53:33 He's going for the goal.
00:53:35 Score!
00:53:37 First goal of the game goes to Weird Al
00:53:39 and just look at that victory dance.
00:53:42 Say what you will about his evil agenda,
00:53:44 but a guy can't butt bump.
00:53:52 Score! Another goal!
00:53:54 The lord of the accordion
00:53:56 and his gooey minions are just racking them up.
00:53:59 There's a lot of happy slugs out there right now.
00:54:02 Goal! Finally!
00:54:14 Zlatan scores and gets the All-Stars on the board.
00:54:20 To me!
00:54:22 Yeah!
00:54:28 Weird Al is racking up the points.
00:54:35 Could this be the end of the line
00:54:37 for our scrappy youths and their hearts of gold?
00:54:40 The chips are down 'cause I dropped my bag of chips.
00:54:43 Also, 'cause the All-Stars are losing.
00:54:45 I'm out.
00:54:47 Goal!
00:54:49 Rapinoe is adept at dodging these glowing monstrosities.
00:54:53 Oh! And the monstrosity steals.
00:54:56 Pino is not gonna stand for that.
00:54:59 Oh, wow. That's some grade-A funk right there.
00:55:03 Now to dance in circles around these creepy slug things.
00:55:12 She kicks. She scores!
00:55:14 Yes! Yes!
00:55:16 We're at 7-3, folks.
00:55:18 We're on the crease.
00:55:20 Rapinoe to Paglio. Some deft footwork here by All-Star Paglio.
00:55:23 He shoots. Paglio scores!
00:55:25 7-4!
00:55:27 Power block by Zana.
00:55:31 Epic save. Zlatan passes.
00:55:33 Oh, dang. He's off and running.
00:55:35 And goal! Oh, dang!
00:55:37 Kicks it up. We're at 7-5.
00:55:40 Fun fact, just last week,
00:55:42 these creature catchers wrangled a baker's dozen of possums
00:55:45 from my crawl space.
00:55:47 7-6!
00:55:49 7-7!
00:56:04 Rapinoe ties it up.
00:56:06 Now let's see if the All-Stars can deliver it.
00:56:10 Zlatan's got that look in his eyes.
00:56:12 He's got something to prove.
00:56:14 Ha-ha! Guess out!
00:56:17 Guess out!
00:56:19 Guess out!
00:56:21 It all starts with the ball and a person and their foot.
00:56:25 Zlatan gets ready, gets set, and he shoots!
00:56:29 [Heartbeat]
00:56:32 [Heartbeat]
00:56:35 [Heartbeat]
00:56:38 [Heartbeat]
00:56:41 [Gunshots]
00:56:44 [Siren wailing]
00:56:47 Hey, Beck! Thank you.
00:56:53 It's Zlatan! Scores!
00:56:56 Just in the nick of... time!
00:56:59 Oh! The All-Star's winning!
00:57:02 The All-Star's winning! We're done here!
00:57:05 [Cheering]
00:57:08 Yes! Yeah!
00:57:21 Whoo! Yeah!
00:57:23 No, no, no, no, no!
00:57:25 I wanted to be the All-Star of all All-Stars of all time!
00:57:29 Now I'm just a Dr. Mayor Dr. Mutant.
00:57:33 Oh! That's it!
00:57:36 [Grunts]
00:57:37 Hey, watch it, ponytail!
00:57:39 That hurts!
00:57:40 Doesn't hurt as much as losing!
00:57:42 You don't deserve all this talent.
00:57:44 The real thing is always better!
00:57:47 Well, that was fun.
00:57:49 Glad I tried it, but it sure is...
00:57:51 [Grunting]
00:57:54 Great being back to normal. I...
00:57:57 [Grunting]
00:57:59 Hey! Stop deflating me!
00:58:02 [Grunts]
00:58:03 Oh, hair in my mouth.
00:58:05 [Grunts]
00:58:06 Take that, weird-al!
00:58:08 Still a fan, though.
00:58:10 You know, I thought I'd never wanna leave the back of Zlatan's head...
00:58:15 until I got all this talent!
00:58:19 [Laughs]
00:58:21 [Grunting]
00:58:23 [Groans]
00:58:25 [Groaning]
00:58:28 [Groaning]
00:58:31 [Groaning]
00:58:34 [Groaning]
00:58:37 [Horn honks]
00:58:39 [Screaming]
00:58:41 Hey, I was in the bathroom. What-- [Screams]
00:58:44 What? What? Was it something I said?
00:58:47 [Laughs]
00:58:48 So, I look like this now?
00:58:51 [Grunting]
00:58:54 [Screaming]
00:58:57 My appetizers!
00:59:00 Get back here!
00:59:02 You two, you two! And where do you think you're going?
00:59:06 [Panting]
00:59:08 [Grunting]
00:59:10 Runaway slugs! Don't mind if I do fall!
00:59:14 [Grunting]
00:59:16 Whoa! Good slugs.
00:59:18 Now for an all-star main course!
00:59:23 [Grunting]
00:59:25 [Grunts]
00:59:27 Stop right there!
00:59:30 [Grunting]
00:59:32 It appears as though I've had a change of... part.
00:59:35 [Groans]
00:59:37 Yes, I stole other people's talent using advanced genetics,
00:59:40 but I've seen the error of my brilliantly evil ways.
00:59:44 And now it's time for a little redemption,
00:59:47 Weird Al style.
00:59:49 Hello, Ponytail!
00:59:51 It's me, Dr. Mayor Dr. Weird Al.
00:59:54 Or as you might know me, Mama.
00:59:57 Now, I believe we can both be reasonable here.
01:00:00 [Growling]
01:00:02 So that's what I raised?
01:00:04 A ponytail who eats his own mother?
01:00:06 Fine! I hope I taste terrible!
01:00:09 Nope! Just weird!
01:00:11 See what I did there?
01:00:13 Talking with your mouth full!
01:00:15 Who raised you?
01:00:17 Oh, guess it was me.
01:00:19 [Grunts]
01:00:21 More nuanced and complex than I initially realized.
01:00:23 Anyway, who wants to get eaten next?
01:00:27 You want to eat them?
01:00:29 You start right here with Zlatan.
01:00:33 Zlatan, I'll give you one last chance.
01:00:36 Take me back.
01:00:38 Well, I'm kind of seeing someone.
01:00:40 No! I meant reattach me to your head.
01:00:43 I came to life from just one drop of your talent.
01:00:48 Imagine what we could do with every drop of every all-star's talent!
01:00:52 And now also Weird Al's talent!
01:00:56 [Horns playing]
01:00:58 Come on, partner!
01:01:04 Together we can be the greatest of all time!
01:01:07 G-O-A-T! Goat!
01:01:10 No goats. Just Zlatan.
01:01:13 Be both!
01:01:16 Reattach me. Talent is in here, waiting for you to soak it up!
01:01:19 Come on. Just think.
01:01:21 We'll be the ultimate all-star!
01:01:25 Zlatan already is the ultimate all-star.
01:01:29 Well, maybe out here.
01:01:31 But let's see how ultimate you are inside my guts!
01:01:37 [Screaming]
01:01:41 [Growling]
01:01:43 Puke him up, ponytail!
01:01:48 Oh, I don't think so!
01:01:50 In fact, I still have room for more!
01:01:54 I'm so hungry I could eat David Beckham's talent!
01:01:58 Hey! Hey! What are you weirdos doing?
01:02:02 Curse you, Rapinoe!
01:02:10 Let's go!
01:02:12 [Roaring]
01:02:15 [Grunting]
01:02:20 [Grunting]
01:02:31 Ow!
01:02:37 [Grunting]
01:02:39 Zlatan!
01:02:43 [Explosion]
01:02:46 Yeah!
01:03:07 Zlatan! Zlatan! Zlatan!
01:03:10 Zlatan! Zlatan! Yes!
01:03:13 Wait. What about Weird Al?
01:03:16 Guess he didn't make it.
01:03:19 [Screaming]
01:03:21 Take that, green, glowing slug of death!
01:03:26 I escaped!
01:03:28 [Panting]
01:03:29 Through a hole Zlatan kicked in his belly?
01:03:32 Hole? In its belly?
01:03:35 Wonderful! No, I didn't know about the belly hole.
01:03:39 This is the first time hearing about that.
01:03:42 Does anyone have a mint?
01:03:45 Here you go, Dr. Mayor, Dr. Mr. Al.
01:03:48 Please. We're friends now.
01:03:50 Just call me Dr. Mayor, Dr. Weird.
01:03:53 Okay. I see.
01:03:55 Oh. Oh.
01:03:57 You know what? Here. They're yours.
01:04:00 Oh, no. I couldn't.
01:04:02 Please. Save me the trouble of throwing them in the trash.
01:04:05 Wow! That was impressive!
01:04:08 You played one monster of a game.
01:04:11 The all-stars win it!
01:04:13 I'm Rob Stone, and that is game.
01:04:16 For all your creature-catching needs, be sure to call...
01:04:19 Creature Catchers!
01:04:21 Creature Catchers rule!
01:04:23 Whoo-hoo-hoo!
01:04:25 [♪♪♪]
01:04:27 [All cheering]
01:04:31 Pass it to me!
01:04:33 Whoo!
01:04:35 Over here!
01:04:37 [♪♪♪]
01:04:39 Yes!
01:04:41 Selfie, selfie, selfie!
01:04:44 Got this.
01:04:46 Hooray!
01:04:48 Whoo-hoo-hoo!
01:04:50 [♪♪♪]
01:04:52 [grunts]
01:04:55 Whoa!
01:04:58 Oh!
01:05:02 Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
01:05:04 [laughs]
01:05:06 Whoo!
01:05:08 [♪♪♪]
01:05:10 [roaring]
01:05:12 Keep it down!
01:05:16 [screams]
01:05:18 [gurgling]
01:05:20 Simple time.
01:05:22 [fizzing]
01:05:24 Hello. I am Zlatan.
01:05:32 As if you didn't know.
01:05:34 Uh, Netflix asked me to reassure younger viewers
01:05:37 who are concerned for Zlatan's safety.
01:05:40 This is just a silly story.
01:05:42 Zlatan is perfectly safe.
01:05:44 See? No slug on my ponytail.
01:05:46 [screams]
01:05:47 Slug on my ponytail!
01:05:49 Get it off! Get it off!
01:05:51 [screaming]
01:05:52 It's real!
01:05:54 [tires screeching]
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