• last year
Transcript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01 America loves motherfucking grapes.
00:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:06 I'm Jason, 2J's Jennings.
00:09 I was a football legend.
00:11 But once you reach the mountaintop of greatness,
00:13 everybody wants to see you fall.
00:15 The problem is that you're a selfish prick who's
00:18 impossible to work with.
00:20 Man, fuck you, you Harold and Kumar looking
00:22 motherfucker, I'm through with this shit.
00:24 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:29 Karma is a bitch.
00:31 You pled guilty to charges of speeding and damage
00:33 to city property.
00:35 I'm recommending community service with the Long Beach
00:37 Recreations Department.
00:39 The fuck?
00:40 I thought I was getting like some Martha
00:41 Stewart kind of treatment.
00:42 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:48 I am your new head coach.
00:50 You're a washed up loser.
00:51 He used a fake penis to cheat on drug tests.
00:54 I want one of these, you booger nose motherfuckers.
00:56 Watch it, Jason.
00:57 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:59 Keys.
01:00 Kareem.
01:01 Jason.
01:02 I've been trying to get back in touch with you for years.
01:04 I know you've been thinking about me,
01:05 and I know you've been trying to get in touch with me.
01:07 Is that pretty much right?
01:08 You just put a gun in my head.
01:09 Relax, J, the safety was on.
01:12 Oh, no, it wasn't on.
01:13 What?
01:14 Imagine that.
01:16 Before we can be the best, we got to master the fundamentals.
01:19 [GRUNTING]
01:21 Hey, dog, you ever touch a titty before?
01:23 That's your titty.
01:23 You got to hold it tight.
01:24 Do I have consent of touching the titty?
01:26 You got my consent, OK?
01:28 I like the titty thing.
01:29 Keep that.
01:30 I like the titty thing.
01:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:33 JJ, how you liking this game?
01:35 Coach, I don't know what I'm doing.
01:36 Do you remember what you were like when
01:38 you showed up freshman year?
01:39 You were a pain in the ass.
01:41 I don't own nobody nothing.
01:42 Sound just like me.
01:43 If you really want to win a game,
01:45 stop pushing away your team.
01:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:49 Let's go!
01:50 [CHEERING]
01:51 It looks like a black princess lamp.
01:53 New jerseys for y'all.
01:55 Does this jersey say titties?
01:57 Underdogs on three, underdogs on me.
01:59 One, two, three.
02:01 What's my name?
02:03 Underdogs!
02:04 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:06 Pretty boy, you missing pass after pass.
02:12 You got on all this sweet ass shit.
02:14 Next time you come out here acting like a fake ass rapper,
02:17 we gonna kick your ass off the field.
02:19 Stop acting like you got an album coming out.
02:21 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:27 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:34 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:38 you