T.I.M Full Movie

Name: T.I.M Full Movie
Uploaded: 2023-12-04T15:00:37+00:00
Duration: 1 h 55 min 40 s
Channel: Ted Film
Description: T.I.M Full Movie

Ted Film

last year

T.I.M Full Movie

Transcript

Display full video transcript

00:00:00 Let me get some of that cocaine.

00:00:03 I'm gonna take three Xanax and kill my father.

00:00:10 Is that the gayest sign you could find or was there like one more with a giant dick on it?

00:00:20 Shut up, Rob.

00:00:22 You smell like beer.

00:00:26 You smell like incest.

00:00:29 Your tits are lopsided.

00:00:32 Eat all your shit.

00:00:34 Gary, I wasn't really sure where to get your free gum away present, but I figured I'd like what I came up with.

00:00:47 Check that shit out.

00:00:49 Couldn't afford a whole pack?

00:00:51 Fuck the pack and listen to this.

00:00:53 The other day when Rob wasn't home, I took one of his cigarettes and I soaked it in my piss.

00:00:58 It was my morning piss too, it was really dark, and I'd just taken a multivitamin.

00:01:02 Like an hour before, I drank a lot of beer the night before.

00:01:05 Looked like an apple cider kind of thing.

00:01:07 And then what I did was I let it dry out so it would be smokeable.

00:01:10 This, my man, is that unholy cigarette.

00:01:13 I'm giving it to you.

00:01:14 No, I don't want to touch that.

00:01:16 Fucking try, take it easy.

00:01:18 Just put it on the desk.

00:01:20 Alright, but calm down.

00:01:23 You sure you don't want to touch it?

00:01:25 And how do you plan on pulling this off?

00:01:32 It's easy, we just go get Rob, say we're going to go out front for a smoke,

00:01:36 and then when we get out there, just offer him one of yours, which he's going to accept because it's a free cigarette.

00:01:40 And then fucking hand him the pissing, and you and I just sit back and laugh our asses off.

00:01:44 This is the top five things I've ever come up with.

00:01:46 I did it for you.

00:01:48 There is a special place in hell for you.

00:01:51 So are you going to do this or not?

00:01:57 You going to miss this place, Bruce?

00:02:00 This place?

00:02:01 Nah.

00:02:02 I've been here long enough.

00:02:04 Time to go.

00:02:06 Rob.

00:02:07 Want a smoke?

00:02:08 Yeah.

00:02:09 Go.

00:02:10 Want one?

00:02:11 Yeah.

00:02:12 I'm going to go.

00:02:13 Yeah.

00:02:14 Go.

00:02:15 Want one?

00:02:16 What the fuck is wrong with this cigarette?

00:02:18 What?

00:02:19 Look at it, it's fucking disgusting.

00:02:21 I know.

00:02:22 Whole pack's like that.

00:02:23 Holy shit.

00:02:25 Man.

00:02:26 Do you want it or not?

00:02:28 Yeah.

00:02:29 Are whole packs like that?

00:02:31 Yeah, I just had one, it's fine.

00:02:33 Alright.

00:02:36 Give me your lighter.

00:02:37 Wow.

00:02:41 I don't want to get sick from smoking.

00:02:43 Bitch, bitch, bitch.

00:02:44 Bitch, bitch, bitch.

00:02:46 Fucking tastes like piss.

00:02:57 How's my piss taste?

00:03:00 Fuck you, man.

00:03:01 Fucking shit hurts, ass face.

00:03:03 Good.

00:03:04 You guys ready to eat?

00:03:08 Yeah, there's a bucket of gruel out in the back for you there, Herman.

00:03:11 You're looking spread, dude.

00:03:15 I miss you, bud.

00:03:19 Yeah.

00:03:21 I mean, you put up with this shit for like a decade.

00:03:23 It's not that easy, you know?

00:03:25 I mean, no matter how many times we fucked up,

00:03:27 threatened to quit.

00:03:28 Bomb threats.

00:03:29 Bomb threats.

00:03:30 Fuck, I don't even know what we were fucking today.

00:03:32 Nah, neither was I.

00:03:33 It was funny at the time.

00:03:34 It was.

00:03:35 But you still kept us around, you know?

00:03:37 Yeah.

00:03:38 I'm gonna miss you guys.

00:03:39 You know,

00:03:42 you really need to get your shit together.

00:03:44 I mean, we like to think of ourselves as lovable losers.

00:03:47 And that's good enough?

00:03:49 Nah.

00:03:50 I think you guys have got a lot more to offer.

00:03:53 But,

00:03:54 if you're happy, then...

00:03:56 I mean, I think we're pretty happy.

00:03:59 Even though everybody hates you?

00:04:01 Shut up, Herman.

00:04:02 Joe doesn't hate me.

00:04:04 No, seriously, I do kind of hate you.

00:04:06 Okay.

00:04:07 Eh, well, hey.

00:04:09 Next week,

00:04:10 we'll see some new faces coming in.

00:04:12 We'll get a new boss.

00:04:14 And,

00:04:15 just for you guys,

00:04:16 a hot new babe coming in.

00:04:19 Yeah, fucking thank God.

00:04:20 There's finally gonna be someone without a dick working here.

00:04:22 Yeah.

00:04:23 I was ready to go gay.

00:04:24 Yeah.

00:04:26 I was gonna make that my real girlfriend when we present you.

00:04:28 Herman, what the fuck are you doing?

00:04:32 Are you serious?

00:04:34 We're having a moment here.

00:04:35 You fuck everything up, all the time.

00:04:37 Why didn't you fire this guy a long time ago?

00:04:39 This chick,

00:04:47 she's real fucking hot.

00:04:48 Like, I can't stress that enough, you know?

00:04:50 She says to me,

00:04:51 "Do you play any sports?"

00:04:52 And I'm like,

00:04:53 "I used to play basketball in high school."

00:04:54 "What about you?"

00:04:55 And she's like,

00:04:56 "I used to play every sport."

00:04:57 Really?

00:04:58 And I was like, "Oh yeah?

00:04:59 "What was your best one?

00:05:00 "Competitive eating?"

00:05:01 Did you really say that?

00:05:04 No, but I thought about saying it.

00:05:06 She's probably some monstrous fucking field hockey player in high school, you know?

00:05:09 We're like a brutish first baseman.

00:05:11 I like that, first baseman.

00:05:12 Most fat chicks are, you know?

00:05:14 Yeah.

00:05:15 I'm so tired today.

00:05:16 Um, excuse me?

00:05:18 What's up?

00:05:19 Do you guys work here?

00:05:22 No, we just have keys in the city,

00:05:24 going around the lock and field.

00:05:25 What question is that?

00:05:26 Um, I'm supposed to start working today.

00:05:29 Oh, shit, yeah.

00:05:31 I'm Joe, that's Rob.

00:05:32 Sarah, nice to meet you.

00:05:33 Nice to meet you too.

00:05:34 What's up?

00:05:36 He's an asshole.

00:05:37 Um, I thought you guys opened up at 9.

00:05:39 Yeah, we did.

00:05:40 We just got fucked up last night.

00:05:42 Here, come on, I'll show you around.

00:05:43 Where you from?

00:05:45 Columbia.

00:05:46 Oh, like Pablo Escobar.

00:05:47 Yeah, we're actually from the same town.

00:05:49 Really?

00:05:50 I used to do a lot of coke.

00:05:51 Well, that's not cool.

00:05:53 Yeah, it was fun.

00:05:55 A lot of wasted, though.

00:05:56 Well, that's pretty much about it.

00:06:02 Nobody really gives a shit.

00:06:03 I'm not gonna answer that shit.

00:06:07 I'm not answering.

00:06:09 Rick.

00:06:16 Hello, who am I speaking to?

00:06:17 This is Joe.

00:06:19 Hi, Joe. My name is Carolina Garcia.

00:06:21 Okay.

00:06:23 I was wondering if the short soccer camp was still scheduled for July 31st.

00:06:26 As far as I can remember, yeah.

00:06:27 Oh, could you check?

00:06:31 I guess.

00:06:32 Can you hold for one second?

00:06:33 Make sure it's not getting too much of a turn.

00:06:36 Yeah, right on.

00:06:41 Hello?

00:06:46 Yes?

00:06:47 It is that week, yeah.

00:06:49 And that's $175, right?

00:06:51 Correct.

00:06:52 Okay.

00:06:53 Could you mail that to me?

00:06:55 Oh, sure.

00:06:57 I'm sorry?

00:06:59 No, nothing, nothing.

00:07:00 Go ahead with the address.

00:07:01 Give it to me real quick.

00:07:02 It's 3700 Norris Avenue, Palm Springs, Florida.

00:07:06 33169?

00:07:08 I got it, yes.

00:07:10 And just in time, too, because I think my skull is about to split.

00:07:12 How long will that take to get here?

00:07:14 I don't know. I don't work for the Postal Service.

00:07:16 Okay. Thank you for your time, Joe.

00:07:18 Okay. No problem.

00:07:20 Take the mic.

00:07:29 So, anyone else working today?

00:07:30 What's that guy's name? Harold?

00:07:33 No, Herman. Herman.

00:07:35 No, he's not here. He's probably out eating a man.

00:07:37 It's just us, but it's cool because it's an easy day, you know?

00:07:41 And we usually like to leave about an hour or two early, too, so that's perfect.

00:07:44 Are we allowed to do that?

00:07:47 Whatever the fuck we want.

00:07:49 I mean, we fledged with the time sheets anyway, so it looks like we got paid for a full day.

00:07:53 But nobody really cares.

00:07:55 Uncle Sam never finds out.

00:07:58 How much of this would I allow him?

00:07:59 A shirt, right? What size?

00:08:03 Um, small.

00:08:05 I would have guessed medium.

00:08:07 No, dude, I'm a medium.

00:08:09 Dude, you wear your fucking shirts way too tight for a bonnet you don't have.

00:08:12 Why would you throw it at her like that?

00:08:18 What the hell is this new guy?

00:08:22 I mean, it's his first day. It's not a really good first impression, you know?

00:08:26 He's the boss. He can make whatever impression he wants.

00:08:28 What the fuck are you gonna do?

00:08:29 I don't know.

00:08:31 Exactly.

00:08:32 I don't know. For some reason, I feel like we're in a clash.

00:08:34 Something about taking over some part of the work of a scumbag really irks me, you know?

00:08:37 Yeah, I don't blame you.

00:08:39 Big, big holes and clean shit.

00:08:40 I saw all the...

00:08:43 If they went to prison, they'd be one notch above serial killers and one notch below pedophiles.

00:08:48 And that's not me saying that. That's A&E.

00:08:52 I saw a special on their court, "Caged."

00:08:55 That sounds a little unfair.

00:08:57 I know it does, but don't talk to me. Talk to Caged.

00:08:59 And there was a lot of gay shit going on in Africa.

00:09:02 Let me ask you a question, though. How old are you?

00:09:05 I'm 20.

00:09:07 I don't think you guys remember, but we went to high school together.

00:09:11 Hey!

00:09:12 You guys working hard or hardly working?

00:09:14 What the fuck did you just say to me, dude?

00:09:16 Who are you?

00:09:18 I'm Don Howard.

00:09:20 Oh, shit.

00:09:21 My fault, man.

00:09:22 Yeah.

00:09:23 Nice to meet you.

00:09:24 I thought you were some kind of dancer or something.

00:09:26 Yeah.

00:09:27 Nice to meet you.

00:09:28 Rob?

00:09:29 Ooh. Burn.

00:09:30 Just kidding, Rob. Nice to meet you.

00:09:32 Nice to meet you.

00:09:33 You're running a little late there, Don.

00:09:36 Yeah, I had a few things to take care of.

00:09:39 That's understandable.

00:09:41 I mean, I know how they do things over at Public Works, but we don't put up with tardiness here.

00:09:44 You do it again, and it's your ass.

00:09:47 Alright, Simon Cowell?

00:09:50 I'm just fucking with you, dude.

00:09:52 You gotta take it easy, man.

00:09:54 I didn't think you were getting ready to jam my nose going over my brain or something.

00:09:57 Well, I could, too.

00:09:59 Look at the size of it.

00:10:00 You're a fucking cannon, Don.

00:10:01 You are, dude.

00:10:02 How much are you dead lit?

00:10:03 I'd like to see you in some underarmor.

00:10:05 Okay.

00:10:08 Well, anyway, enlighten me on what you guys are doing here today.

00:10:11 Well, just answering phones.

00:10:13 As little as possible, if you know what I mean.

00:10:15 Exactly.

00:10:16 Exactly.

00:10:17 And it takes three people to get to the phone.

00:10:19 And it takes three people to do that.

00:10:21 Well, no, technically Rob doesn't do anything.

00:10:23 He's just eye candy.

00:10:24 Okay.

00:10:25 I mean, like, if you were a middle-aged housewife,

00:10:27 wouldn't you bring your kid in here and sign him up for soccer camp

00:10:30 just for the opportunity to have that guy in your mouth?

00:10:33 What did you say?

00:10:35 What do you want me to say that I said?

00:10:42 Yeah.

00:10:45 Earth to Joe.

00:10:48 What?

00:10:49 What?

00:10:50 Listen, if you could bang Kim Kardashian,

00:10:52 but Bruce Jenner had to watch, whack off,

00:10:55 and slap you in the ass with his gold medal, would you?

00:10:58 Yeah, probably.

00:11:00 Yeah, me too.

00:11:02 What the fuck are you doing, scumbag?

00:11:06 What?

00:11:07 Can you help me out?

00:11:08 Instead of throwing condom wrappers on the ground?

00:11:11 Don said you had to do it yourself.

00:11:13 Yeah, he said you had to clean the bathrooms.

00:11:14 How about I tell him you're not doing that?

00:11:16 Fuck that guy.

00:11:18 I think he likes me.

00:11:19 I mean, he doesn't like-like me, but, you know, he likes me as an employee.

00:11:23 He definitely hates you.

00:11:25 That doesn't even make sense.

00:11:27 How could he like you more than me?

00:11:28 Even dogs hate you.

00:11:30 Name one dog that hates me.

00:11:32 Fucking the Oliver.

00:11:33 Son of a bitch.

00:11:35 Yeah.

00:11:36 And he's got a sixth sense for that shit, you know?

00:11:40 Meanwhile, I'm out here representing the everyman day in and day out.

00:11:43 Yeah.

00:11:46 I'm actually going for that almost everyman quality, you know?

00:11:49 Where I still have the right to exclude certain people.

00:11:51 I just want to be like, "Yeah, I'm everyman."

00:11:54 And just point to a crowd of guys and just be like, "Except you."

00:11:58 Hey, fellas!

00:12:02 Step into my office.

00:12:03 Step into my office?

00:12:08 What a dick.

00:12:10 [silence]

00:12:20 I want to make this clear.

00:12:21 Okay?

00:12:23 I don't like you guys.

00:12:24 At all.

00:12:25 Well, we're going for a heads up start.

00:12:30 How could you not like us?

00:12:32 You don't even know us.

00:12:34 I don't have to know you.

00:12:36 I have watched the two of you make assholes of yourselves and this department for years now.

00:12:41 Like when?

00:12:42 Like when?

00:12:44 Like, how about this last year's seafood festival?

00:12:46 Where you both got drunk.

00:12:47 On the clock, I presume.

00:12:49 Then you both wound up puking in front of the food.

00:12:52 Yeah, that's true.

00:12:54 That night was fun in itself.

00:12:55 I'll give you that.

00:12:56 I'll give you that.

00:12:57 Point for you.

00:12:58 Did we get laid that night?

00:12:59 We didn't get laid.

00:13:00 No.

00:13:01 I wish.

00:13:02 I'm glad you find pleasure in humiliating yourself.

00:13:05 The reason is you all suck.

00:13:06 I mean, if I wanted somebody to tell me what a piece of shit I am, I'd just call my parents.

00:13:10 Yeah.

00:13:11 They'd never get tired of telling me that.

00:13:12 It's true.

00:13:13 They never approve of me playing stuff.

00:13:15 Well, I'm going to be running things a lot differently than your last boss.

00:13:20 So, you have a choice.

00:13:23 Either clean up your attitude, or look for work elsewhere.

00:13:28 Bottom line.

00:13:31 Well, uh, maybe we've got a little too much of a problem.

00:13:34 We're very lovable guys.

00:13:35 What'd you get to know?

00:13:37 Yeah.

00:13:38 We're like a Reese's, man.

00:13:39 Perfect.

00:13:40 Chocolate.

00:13:41 Peanut butter.

00:13:42 Who doesn't like chocolate?

00:13:43 Take a bite.

00:13:44 Why don't you sit down with some milk?

00:13:47 I'll finish cleaning up those buttons.

00:13:51 Rob, clean up the bathroom like I told you.

00:13:54 I do not want to fail you again.

00:13:56 Make it happen.

00:14:01 Hey.

00:14:02 What happened?

00:14:03 I don't know.

00:14:05 Apparently the guy's not a fan of our kick-ass way of life.

00:14:07 Let's just put it this way.

00:14:09 He threatened to fire us, pretty much.

00:14:11 Oh my god.

00:14:13 What are you guys going to do?

00:14:14 Oh, what we do all the time.

00:14:16 Wait till we, uh, park out, go to the bar, and fucking go knock away.

00:14:20 Yep.

00:14:21 Life of champions.

00:14:22 You don't remember me at all?

00:14:24 Should I?

00:14:28 We went to high school together.

00:14:30 I was a freshman and you guys were seniors.

00:14:32 Really?

00:14:35 Yeah.

00:14:36 I used to see you guys at parties all the time.

00:14:38 You guys were usually pretty wasted.

00:14:40 That's what I thought, right?

00:14:42 It's in the nail on the head.

00:14:43 I remember you were always a different girl.

00:14:45 Yeah, I just fucked a lot of women.

00:14:47 That's true.

00:14:48 A lot of guys, too.

00:14:49 It's weird, like, five years later.

00:14:52 What?

00:14:54 I don't know.

00:14:57 You know, I should just get back in the office.

00:14:58 Maybe you should.

00:15:00 I'll talk to you guys later.

00:15:01 Later.

00:15:02 By the end of the week, I give it to you.

00:15:06 Yeah, I get it.

00:15:07 I don't even know what the fuck she's talking about.

00:15:09 What the fuck, man?

00:15:14 No one ever locks these fucking lights.

00:15:16 Jesus.

00:15:18 I'm not fucking cleaning them up.

00:15:26 [City sounds]

00:15:28 Oh, yeah, right.

00:15:34 Dude, she looked at me like I'm just utterly pathetic, man.

00:15:37 No, she didn't.

00:15:39 You're being too hard on yourself.

00:15:40 If you're pathetic, what does that make me?

00:15:43 That makes you a genuinely good guy.

00:15:45 What the fuck do you think it makes you, idiot?

00:15:47 You're the kind of guy Jesus would kick in the sack.

00:15:50 Is that a joke?

00:15:51 No, it was an observation.

00:15:54 [City sounds]

00:15:56 What the hell are we going to do about Donovan?

00:15:58 The bar?

00:15:59 Maybe this was supposed to happen, you know?

00:16:03 Maybe we need a change.

00:16:05 Like what?

00:16:07 Did I ever tell you I thought I was becoming a bartender?

00:16:11 Yeah, you mentioned it here.

00:16:13 Yeah, I think I'd be pretty good at it.

00:16:15 I love alcohol.

00:16:16 I think I'm a pretty personal guy, too, you know?

00:16:19 I think I'd be pretty good at it.

00:16:22 Yeah, I'm sure you would.

00:16:23 Wait, you're not fucking with me, are you?

00:16:27 Like, from the time that you told me I looked awesome in a Kangol hat?

00:16:30 So I bought one and we went to the club and the guy threw a drink on me?

00:16:33 Nice hat, faggot.

00:16:34 You didn't even defend me.

00:16:36 I couldn't help it, man. Your face was pissing me off, too.

00:16:39 You look like your name should have been "Ladies Love Gay Ginger."

00:16:42 I'm serious.

00:16:49 You know, the next time I come here and the bartender asks me what do I want to drink,

00:16:53 I'm gonna be like, "Anything wet."

00:16:55 Yeah, I've always wanted to say that.

00:16:56 I've been wanting to say that for years.

00:16:58 Yeah.

00:16:59 And I feel like I should be wearing sweatpants with like a two-day-old meatball stain on them or something.

00:17:02 You know, "Bombers" jacket.

00:17:03 "Members Only" jacket.

00:17:04 "Members Only."

00:17:05 Fuck yeah. Do they even make those things anymore?

00:17:07 I think they do. They're coming with a strong comeback.

00:17:09 They're coming with a strong comeback. Isn't that the same thing?

00:17:11 They're coming back with a strong comeback.

00:17:13 I think that's the same thing, but I'm gonna let it slide.

00:17:16 I'm gonna come in here with a "Members Only" jacket and talk about my bitch of a wife and how she wanted me to see the kids.

00:17:20 You wanna buy some roses?

00:17:24 First of all, those aren't even roses.

00:17:26 And second, no, they don't.

00:17:28 First of all, fuck you.

00:17:30 Second of all, what about your boyfriend over here?

00:17:33 Why? So you can go score some more smack?

00:17:36 Take a hike, okay?

00:17:38 Yeah, tell your mom I'm gonna swing by later to get some mac.

00:17:41 Ooh, well done.

00:17:43 What are you doing here? Aren't there Johns who need to be serviced?

00:17:45 Ouch.

00:17:46 Hey, you know what? Fuck you.

00:17:48 Fuck both of you.

00:17:50 I'm gonna get my fucking cousin and he's gonna kick both of your fucking asses.

00:17:53 You guys are fucking pussies.

00:17:55 Fuck you.

00:17:57 You go, girl.

00:17:59 Man, I actually got a hell of an alpha, if you know what I mean.

00:18:01 Like, the king of the house or something.

00:18:03 I'm referring to my dick.

00:18:05 Yeah, I got it.

00:18:06 Hey, you look a little confused.

00:18:07 No, I'm not confused.

00:18:09 I got all of these in my dick report card.

00:18:14 Dude, talk about a shitty day, man.

00:18:16 It was right there at that time my freshman year when I was having a small dick day and I got flagged in the middle of the hallway.

00:18:21 Needless to say, Christy Grofflo is in no rush to fuck me afterwards.

00:18:27 I hit her out one time at a party when she was drunk.

00:18:29 Really?

00:18:30 Yeah.

00:18:31 I'm telling you, I slurred for eight years.

00:18:32 It's one of my better accomplishments.

00:18:34 I really think it is. That's the worst part about it.

00:18:36 No, I don't.

00:18:41 What does that say about you?

00:18:43 A lot.

00:18:44 It says you should eat a rat poison souffle ASAP.

00:18:47 I'm going to get going, alright?

00:18:53 Alright, let's go.

00:18:54 No, stay here.

00:18:55 I just want to go home and do some thinking and be alone.

00:18:58 Christ, dude, I'm not going to have to listen to fucking Cock Rock all night, am I?

00:19:03 Yeah, you absolutely are.

00:19:04 The spandex, the bullshit.

00:19:06 Everything.

00:19:07 Jesus Christ.

00:19:08 I'm going to go home.

00:19:09 Alright.

00:19:11 [Music]

00:19:14 [Music]

00:19:42 There we go.

00:19:43 That's been a good fucking song.

00:19:46 What's up, dude?

00:19:51 What's up?

00:19:53 You shook your chest.

00:19:55 Nah, I'm just joking with you.

00:19:58 Feeling any better?

00:20:01 I don't know. I was thinking about it, man.

00:20:07 I can't lose this job, dude.

00:20:09 It's the only job we ever had, you know?

00:20:11 We started working when we were 14, so I'm going to go for a freshman year, remember?

00:20:15 Yeah, we're kind of, sort of, lacking any necessary skills for any other job.

00:20:21 That's true.

00:20:22 I mean, I say we just go in there from where we start busting our asses, you know?

00:20:27 If we do that, then Don won't have shit to say.

00:20:29 Like, that's our home, not his.

00:20:32 I'm not going to let him run me out of there like nothing.

00:20:34 I'm with you then.

00:20:40 Are you seriously backing me up on this?

00:20:42 Of course.

00:20:43 You never say die.

00:20:45 Gosh, I'd be so fucked up if I didn't get my education.

00:20:49 But I'm going to hug you anyway.

00:20:51 Dude, come on, man!

00:20:57 I mean, that was a pretty decent moment we had there and you fucked it up.

00:21:01 I didn't mean it.

00:21:05 I'm sorry.

00:21:06 Dude.

00:21:19 Dude.

00:21:22 What are you doing?

00:21:27 Just looking around.

00:21:31 Are you going to kill me?

00:21:34 [phone ringing]

00:21:36 [baby crying]

00:21:43 [music playing]

00:22:02 How's everything going, Chulita? Todo bien?

00:22:04 Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

00:22:06 Let me know if you need a hand.

00:22:08 Yeah, I'm fine, thanks, though.

00:22:10 You know, I spent some time in Colombia.

00:22:15 What time?

00:22:17 Yeah, I went to the capital, Bogotá.

00:22:19 I had a great time. The women were so hot. Muy caliente.

00:22:24 Yeah, that's nice.

00:22:27 So willing to please. So eager. Oh my God, what a great time.

00:22:31 I have to go back.

00:22:32 You know, I'm okay. You don't have to stay here. I'm fine.

00:22:38 Making sure everything's okay?

00:22:42 Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.

00:22:44 Just doing a little supervision, that's all.

00:22:47 If you don't mind.

00:22:50 Look, really, dammit, that button.

00:22:55 Oh, shit, it does.

00:22:56 Where you going, old man?

00:22:57 Well, Don said he wants me to repaint the basketball courts.

00:23:00 We just did that, like, two months ago.

00:23:02 He said he wants it done again.

00:23:04 Tell him no. I mean, you've been here for, like, 20 years.

00:23:06 It doesn't work like that.

00:23:08 Uh, I'm pretty sure it does.

00:23:09 Yeah, I know it does.

00:23:10 You should tell Bruce all the time now.

00:23:12 Don's not like Bruce.

00:23:13 Don's unlike Bruce.

00:23:14 Ooh, eerie.

00:23:16 Foreboding, Herman.

00:23:18 What's up, guys?

00:23:21 Sorry we're a little late. Rob just got done taking a huge wintery dump.

00:23:25 Yeah, sorry about that.

00:23:26 You have no idea what 30 beers and cream spinach would do to a man's health.

00:23:30 Oh, I know. I know.

00:23:31 I heard a little fact.

00:23:32 I smelled it.

00:23:33 Yeah, well, I'm glad you guys are here.

00:23:34 It's time for me to give you your next job assignment.

00:23:36 Let's do it, buddy. What do you got for us?

00:23:38 Lumberjack?

00:23:39 We are going to rearrange the entire office to make it ergonomically correct.

00:23:44 What? What the fuck does that even mean?

00:23:47 Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.

00:23:49 And if I don't like it, you'll be doing it again until I do like it.

00:23:54 Sarah, can you give us a minute alone, please?

00:23:56 Sarah's not going anywhere. She's got a lot of work to do.

00:23:59 Two of you go get started.

00:24:01 Fucking piece of fucking push.

00:24:07 Yeah, how about you break it into hard metal pieces and--

00:24:10 Oh, get fucked, Dildo. I didn't hear you say anything.

00:24:13 Push from there.

00:24:15 You think meteorologists get chips?

00:24:19 Meteorologists?

00:24:21 That's what I said. Meteorologists.

00:24:23 Do they get chips?

00:24:24 Of course they get chips, dude. Why wouldn't they?

00:24:26 They're on TV. They can predict the weather.

00:24:28 Nicolas Cage made a movie about their lives.

00:24:30 It's probably impossible for those guys not to get it.

00:24:32 I'd love to be a fucking meteorologist.

00:24:35 Nicolas Cage?

00:24:36 Better.

00:24:37 Hey, guys.

00:24:38 What's up?

00:24:39 I had to get out of there.

00:24:41 He's an asshole, isn't he?

00:24:43 Yeah, he is. I can't stand that guy.

00:24:45 Is he being a dick to you, too?

00:24:47 Not a dick. He's just a complete pervert.

00:24:50 Yeah, I can see that. He seems perverted.

00:24:53 It sucks he never got to work with our old boss, Bruce.

00:24:55 That guy was awesome.

00:24:56 No, I met him. He hired me.

00:24:58 He was really nice.

00:24:59 He was a shit. Unlike this other guy, he's a piece of shit.

00:25:02 Say that again?

00:25:04 What?

00:25:05 Um, no. I was just telling Sarah that I just wanted to, uh,

00:25:08 peel up our tits.

00:25:10 That's sexual harassment. And grounds for termination.

00:25:14 Then, in that case, that's not what I said.

00:25:16 I said I have to go take another shit.

00:25:18 I heard--

00:25:19 Oh, well, great. Great. That's wonderful.

00:25:21 I'm gonna go take one down to the 8th Street Field.

00:25:23 I just got a call.

00:25:24 There's a big mess in the ladies' room over there in one of the stalls.

00:25:27 Why can't Sarah fucking do it, dude?

00:25:29 She's a girl.

00:25:30 I didn't ask Sarah. I asked you.

00:25:32 You know, I can't clean all this shit up by myself.

00:25:34 Well, it looks like you're gonna have to.

00:25:36 Fuck, man. It's a two-man job.

00:25:39 You guys look like you want to say something.

00:25:42 Go ahead. Say something funny.

00:25:44 Nothing.

00:25:46 Nothing.

00:25:48 Nothing.

00:25:49 I need you to go pick up the mail, Sarah.

00:25:59 Sarah!

00:26:02 I heard you. I'll be there in a minute.

00:26:05 I said she'll be there in a minute, boss.

00:26:09 You're good. You're safe.

00:26:12 Bye.

00:26:16 Bye.

00:26:17 You stop. Do you want to get yourself fired?

00:26:24 Yeah, I'm trying, but this jerk-off isn't making it any easier.

00:26:27 Well, that's what he wants.

00:26:28 He can't just fire you without any cause.

00:26:31 But the minute you slip up, he can and probably will.

00:26:35 Yeah, it's true, I guess.

00:26:39 We gotta keep our composure, at least at work.

00:26:41 I'll just beat the shit out of him outside of work. That'll do it.

00:26:44 It'll give me a perfect chance for my ski mask, too, so that's a plus.

00:26:47 Do you ski?

00:26:48 No, a lot of rappers talk about ski masks, so I just figured I should get one.

00:26:51 Oh, do you rap?

00:26:52 No, I just emulate the music.

00:26:54 And I sell a lot of drugs.

00:26:56 You know, when I first saw that you work here,

00:27:01 I kind of had this preconceived notion of what you'd be like.

00:27:05 I get that a lot.

00:27:07 Okay? It doesn't bother me.

00:27:09 Sometimes it does.

00:27:12 As long as you're happy, that's all that matters, right?

00:27:15 I guess.

00:27:17 Did we ever talk when we were in school?

00:27:20 Not really.

00:27:22 You tried to get with a friend of mine at a party once.

00:27:25 She said no, and you flipped out and kicked the side mirror off of her car.

00:27:30 Really? Sorry about that.

00:27:33 Tell her I said sorry, fucking four years late.

00:27:35 She died in a car accident.

00:27:37 They said if she would have been able to see from her side view mirror, it would have happened.

00:27:42 I'm just kidding!

00:27:45 Jesus! It's not even funny!

00:27:47 Christ, I'm thinking I'm responsible for somebody's death.

00:27:51 I figured I was responsible for a couple people's, but I'd rather not know about it.

00:27:56 You should have seen yourself.

00:27:57 That's fine, I'm just scared about seeing my underwear.

00:28:00 I can go fresh turkey tracks.

00:28:02 (gunshots)

00:28:03 Oh, come on, man!

00:28:26 Now, at this point, I thought Buffalo Bill here was either going to A) throw me in the back of his van,

00:28:32 or B) jam his dick in my mouth as I clean up pile of shit.

00:28:36 But he had something else in mind.

00:28:38 Turns out he's a public works employee who used to work for Don.

00:28:41 He said he had some business to discuss.

00:28:44 I ignored the fact that he looked like a fucking failed Q-Borg genome project and decided to hear him out.

00:28:50 So wait, Don had an affair with your mom?

00:28:52 Yeah, yeah he did.

00:28:54 You got any idea what it's like to see your mom plowed by not only your boss, but also the man you despise?

00:28:59 Well, I did walk on my mom and dad having sex once.

00:29:03 Come to think of it, your situation is a little worse.

00:29:06 You want a candy?

00:29:07 Uh, do you have any with a wrapper still on it?

00:29:10 Nah, dude, I'm good, thanks.

00:29:22 Did your dad ever find out about your mom and Don?

00:29:24 No, no, my parents are divorced.

00:29:26 Last time I saw my dad he was being loaded onto the back of an ambulance.

00:29:30 Really, what happened?

00:29:31 I smashed his face in with a ten pound dumbbell.

00:29:33 Okay...

00:29:36 Now marriage is a sacred bond.

00:29:38 Men like Don really don't deserve their wives.

00:29:41 I don't care, really. I just want them out of the picture, you know?

00:29:44 Well, Don's cocky.

00:29:46 If we're going to get him, we really have to think outside the box.

00:29:51 Think outside the box?

00:29:52 Dude, I think you've been thinking outside the box way too long now.

00:29:56 I bet you don't know what the fuck the inside of a box even looks like anymore.

00:30:00 Crap.

00:30:02 Dude, your zipper's down by the way. I see your dick. It's disgusting.

00:30:06 Dude, you look like a penguin too.

00:30:10 Dude, you're gross.

00:30:15 You smoking?

00:30:20 Yeah, it's one of those fake cigarettes from the novelty stores.

00:30:23 Put it out.

00:30:25 You want some help redecorating the place?

00:30:32 I'm not even doing anything, dude.

00:30:34 You just go ahead and eat your lunch if you want to.

00:30:36 I'm not that hungry. I don't mind.

00:30:38 I mean, it's up to you.

00:30:40 All I have left to do is move that into the corner.

00:30:42 If you want to help me with that.

00:30:43 Alright, well, let's get some music going.

00:30:47 Now wait a second. I'm not done yet.

00:30:49 I'm just saying, if someone were to walk in here, it's going to look pretty weird.

00:30:51 Okay, fine.

00:30:58 Put on something decent for God's sake. There should be a CD already in there.

00:31:01 Alright, I'll give you that. I do like this song.

00:31:09 That's not bad.

00:31:11 That's clean music.

00:31:12 Yo!

00:31:13 Don't do that, okay, pal?

00:31:16 That's how the line gets blurred.

00:31:17 If I see a dick, I'm going to freak out.

00:31:20 I'm sorry. I thought this was a place of business, not some homo nightclub.

00:31:28 What are you talking about? There aren't even any other people here.

00:31:31 I need to see him in private.

00:31:34 Watch yourself.

00:31:40 I'm not going to let you.

00:31:44 Watch yourself.

00:31:45 Pretty soon you'll be out on your ass, but until that time, I am your boss.

00:31:49 You want to keep testing me? That's fine.

00:31:51 I can make this place miserable for you and everybody else in here.

00:31:55 So remember, when you see them suffering, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

00:32:01 [Music]

00:32:03 [Music]

00:32:06 [Music]

00:32:09 [Music]

00:32:11 [Music]

00:32:14 [Music]

00:32:17 [Music]

00:32:20 [Music]

00:32:23 [Music]

00:32:26 [Music]

00:32:29 [Music]

00:32:32 [Music]

00:32:36 [Music]

00:32:38 [Music]

00:32:41 [Music]

00:32:44 [Music]

00:32:47 [Music]

00:32:50 [Music]

00:32:53 [Music]

00:32:56 [Music]

00:32:59 [Music]

00:33:03 [Music]

00:33:07 [Music]

00:33:10 [Music]

00:33:13 [Music]

00:33:16 [Music]

00:33:19 [Music]

00:33:22 [Music]

00:33:25 [Music]

00:33:28 [Music]

00:33:32 ♪ We gonna rush all night with the stars in the sky ♪

00:33:35 ♪ When the lights go bright then the sparks take flight ♪

00:33:39 ♪ We gonna kick it to you, stick it to you ♪

00:33:40 ♪ Wanna feel you, kick it to you ♪

00:33:42 ♪ Push it to the limit, make you all fall down ♪

00:33:45 ♪ I'm so blind ♪

00:33:47 ♪ Hunting of the flame in the sky ♪

00:33:50 ♪ Do you know my name is the sun ♪

00:33:54 ♪ From the end of days of my time ♪

00:33:57 ♪ Can't you see your space ♪

00:33:59 ♪ So walk to the left then march to the right ♪

00:34:02 ♪ Don't let the mark of the beast on your side ♪

00:34:05 ♪ So welcome to my spaceship, my planet is amazing ♪

00:34:09 ♪ There's nothing like you've seen ♪

00:34:11 ♪ And there's never limitation ♪

00:34:12 ♪ So walk to the left then march to the right ♪

00:34:16 ♪ Don't let the mark of the beast on your side ♪

00:34:19 ♪ So hop in on my spaceship, my planet is amazing ♪

00:34:23 ♪ There's nothing like you've seen ♪

00:34:24 ♪ And there's never limitation ♪

00:34:26 ♪ We gonna rush all night ♪

00:34:27 (phone ringing)

00:34:30 - Hey babe.

00:34:40 Oh nothing, I'm just sitting here with some jerk off.

00:34:44 Oh really, yeah, I'm excited about it too.

00:34:49 I've already made the reservation for nine.

00:34:51 (phone ringing)

00:34:56 (phone ringing)

00:34:58 - Recreation Department, this is Rob speaking.

00:35:05 How can I help you?

00:35:06 Oh, it's Don, it's your wife.

00:35:09 - Tell her I'll call her back.

00:35:12 - You said to call you back.

00:35:15 - Okay, well look, I'll give you a call a little later on

00:35:19 and I'll see you tonight, okay?

00:35:20 Okay, bye.

00:35:24 - Bye.

00:35:24 - Where's Herman?

00:35:28 - I think I had a nap in the break room.

00:35:31 - A nap?

00:35:32 Herman.

00:35:40 How's it going?

00:35:46 - I've been better.

00:35:50 I had a firm sandwich that did a number on my stomach.

00:35:52 Blew up the bathroom, that should help.

00:35:57 - Okay.

00:35:58 Well listen, the reason I came in here

00:36:02 is 'cause I wanna continue our conversation about,

00:36:05 you know, cutting loose some of the dead weight around here.

00:36:07 - Why cook?

00:36:09 - Who do you think?

00:36:11 - Hey boss, I'm gonna go take a piss, is that okay?

00:36:13 Yo, Herman, in high school, where do you vote in

00:36:15 most likely to enjoy the taste of human flesh?

00:36:19 - Eat that one, boys.

00:36:20 - They are handsome.

00:36:27 - They just mess around.

00:36:28 - They're not just messing around,

00:36:30 they're making fun of you.

00:36:31 You know what the other departments say about you?

00:36:35 That you're a grown man being pushed around

00:36:37 by two kids who don't give a shit about you or anybody else.

00:36:41 - Have you guys seen Joe?

00:36:42 - Bathroom.

00:36:43 Hey, who's answering the phones?

00:36:46 - We're gonna lose robots in tracking three.

00:36:48 - (sighs) Losers.

00:36:50 - Yo, guess what?

00:36:54 - What are you trying to freak?

00:36:57 - Oh, dude.

00:36:59 - Yeah, that's what you get.

00:37:00 - It's disgusting.

00:37:01 - Ew, you freak.

00:37:03 - I just wanted to know if it smelled, it kinda did.

00:37:06 - That's what you get, that was perfect timing.

00:37:08 - Dude, it really was.

00:37:09 - Dude, calm.

00:37:12 I gotta tell Sarah about tonight.

00:37:13 - Dude, tonight's Sunday, man.

00:37:15 - HBO movie.

00:37:16 - We're gonna hang out.

00:37:18 - Are you serious, we're married.

00:37:20 - No.

00:37:21 - Yeah, so stop, stop with the chains, the obligations.

00:37:24 I'm gonna bring on this.

00:37:26 You're the reason that I don't wanna get married,

00:37:28 'cause I never wanna experience another relationship

00:37:29 like I had with you.

00:37:31 - Okay, you've been--

00:37:32 - To me, the perfect situation would be I move out.

00:37:34 - Go where?

00:37:36 - We're not friends anymore.

00:37:38 And a little while after that,

00:37:39 I read in the local paper that you're dead.

00:37:41 - I was hanging out with Walter.

00:37:44 - I can't believe you hang out with that guy.

00:37:46 As soon as he told you his name was Walter,

00:37:48 it should have been a red flag not to hang out with the guy.

00:37:51 It should have been a sign that he may or may not

00:37:53 fuck you in your sleep.

00:37:54 - Good one.

00:37:55 Maybe he wants to come, I don't know.

00:37:58 I'm gonna bite him, I guess.

00:37:59 Silent invitation.

00:38:01 - Silent invitation?

00:38:02 - My husband.

00:38:04 - Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.

00:38:05 How the fuck do you send a silent invitation?

00:38:06 - There's a lot of things that really don't make sense

00:38:09 coming out of my mouth.

00:38:10 - Yeah, I noticed.

00:38:11 I got something that makes sense going into your mouth.

00:38:13 How about that?

00:38:14 - I don't get it.

00:38:15 (laughs)

00:38:16 - Okay.

00:38:17 - Maybe he can come out tonight, I don't know.

00:38:19 - Fine with me, man, I got my date.

00:38:23 - What's so fucking funny?

00:38:24 - No, I think it's awesome, 'cause I have my date.

00:38:27 - Okay.

00:38:28 - She's very cute.

00:38:29 She's got a vagina.

00:38:32 And now you have yours.

00:38:34 - As far as you know.

00:38:35 - He's very weird looking, and he's got a dick.

00:38:38 So it works out for both of us.

00:38:40 - Ah, fine, yeah, which is my ass, okay.

00:38:43 Wouldn't be the first time.

00:38:44 - Wait, you memorized her number?

00:38:47 You fucking creep.

00:38:48 - It's easy, dickhead, it has a lot of sevens.

00:38:51 It's on the directory.

00:38:52 - Oh yeah, like seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven,

00:38:55 seven, seven.

00:38:56 - All sevens, 49.

00:38:58 Seven times seven.

00:38:58 Yo, what's going on, sir?

00:39:03 (humming)

00:39:05 No, I got your number from Rob.

00:39:08 He said he memorized it.

00:39:09 - Fuck you, man, I just.

00:39:13 - Yeah, it's fucked up, right?

00:39:14 It's an invasion of privacy.

00:39:16 Yeah, I'll have a talk with him.

00:39:19 I think, I agree, I think he kinda cross-lined.

00:39:21 I'm sorry if I cross-lined by calling you.

00:39:23 I just thought it'd be okay.

00:39:24 I mean, he's the guy, he's the one who initiated

00:39:26 the whole thing with memorizing the number.

00:39:28 All right, okay, all right.

00:39:32 But anyway, I was calling you to see if you were down

00:39:34 for a little covert ostomac in that hero tonight.

00:39:36 Yeah, he overheard Don on the phone

00:39:40 making some reservations with some woman.

00:39:42 So we're gonna go out there, see if we can spy on him

00:39:44 a little bit, get some evidence.

00:39:45 It's gonna be a bunch of shit.

00:39:46 All right, awesome, yeah, just come over to our place

00:39:51 at like 745, 885, perfect.

00:39:56 All right, cool, I'll see you later, bye.

00:40:00 - Let me tell you.

00:40:03 - That's fucking money right there.

00:40:05 - You want me to take notes or something?

00:40:06 - I wish you could take notes.

00:40:08 You don't even know how to write.

00:40:09 - Well, she ain't even on the phone.

00:40:10 - No, I just dialed a fucking line number

00:40:12 'cause I'm you.

00:40:14 - Whatever, dude.

00:40:15 - You're the guy who does that.

00:40:16 You're the guy who does that.

00:40:17 - I talk to women all the time.

00:40:19 - Yeah, like when they have to,

00:40:20 when they work behind counters

00:40:21 and they're forced to.

00:40:22 That's how it's done, dude.

00:40:27 - Can I be like your protege, honestly?

00:40:30 - No, you're not good enough.

00:40:32 - Whatever.

00:40:33 - I'd love to have a protege,

00:40:34 but I don't want it to be you.

00:40:35 I don't wanna waste all this on you.

00:40:37 It's not a joke.

00:40:41 - You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

00:40:42 - It's like you're the pickup artist.

00:40:44 You're like, what's his name?

00:40:45 Mysterious or--

00:40:46 - Mystery.

00:40:47 - Mystery.

00:40:48 I'm like those geeky nerds.

00:40:49 - I'm not that guy.

00:40:50 I don't like that guy.

00:40:50 He's a freak.

00:40:51 - You can get a tattoo of the lips on your neck.

00:40:54 - You know that guy really does have those tattoos

00:40:55 on his neck?

00:40:56 - Which one?

00:40:57 - Mystery.

00:40:58 - Oh, just for the show?

00:40:59 - Just for the show.

00:40:59 I was kind of disappointed.

00:41:01 So I wanted to put my lips on his neck

00:41:03 to see if they would match up.

00:41:05 - Yeah, that's true.

00:41:05 Did it match up when you put your lips on his dick?

00:41:08 - My lips on his dick?

00:41:09 - Yeah.

00:41:11 It didn't match up.

00:41:11 You did it, but it didn't match up.

00:41:13 - No, I didn't though.

00:41:15 Whatever.

00:41:16 This is gonna be lots of fun.

00:41:17 I can tell you that right now.

00:41:18 Getting to ride in the car with you,

00:41:19 your girlfriend for two hours.

00:41:21 - That guy, I barely even know.

00:41:23 Who may or may not be the reincarnation of Ben King.

00:41:25 I don't know.

00:41:26 (laughing)

00:41:27 - Okay.

00:41:28 He's your friend.

00:41:28 I really don't give a shit.

00:41:30 I don't understand why this asshole made the reservation

00:41:31 for nine o'clock though.

00:41:32 I don't really want to go hang out there.

00:41:34 Fucking, I'd rather be sitting in my place at nine o'clock.

00:41:36 Who eats dinner that late?

00:41:38 - I don't know.

00:41:39 - Yeah, that's true.

00:41:40 I forgot all about that.

00:41:41 They do.

00:41:42 I always hated eating at your place.

00:41:44 Like six o'clock or all around,

00:41:45 I'd be fucking starving.

00:41:46 Your mom would just be putting the corned beef

00:41:48 and cabbage in.

00:41:49 Be like, "Yo, what's up with this McBitch?"

00:41:50 - Whoa, relax, okay?

00:41:52 Don't call her that.

00:41:53 - A McBitch?

00:41:54 - Yeah, you heard me.

00:41:55 Don't call her that.

00:41:56 She's been peeing you for what?

00:41:57 Like five, six years.

00:41:58 (laughing)

00:42:00 - Yeah.

00:42:00 - Doesn't mean that I enjoyed it.

00:42:01 She gave me undercooked bacon and potatoes.

00:42:03 - We don't cook bacon for the 100th time, dude.

00:42:06 When did we cook bacon?

00:42:08 - Exactly, you guys don't cook 'cause you're Irish

00:42:10 and you just give me a big fatty slab of bacon

00:42:12 and say, "Help yourself."

00:42:14 And while you sit there and watch Bobby Flay reruns.

00:42:16 And occasionally some little cabbage on the side.

00:42:18 No dessert.

00:42:19 Oh yeah, Irish potatoes for dessert.

00:42:20 - Yeah.

00:42:21 - Cream cheese and coconuts.

00:42:22 Let's just mix them together and drop 'em in some cinnamon.

00:42:25 That's a dessert.

00:42:26 - What do you call it?

00:42:27 - I call it a ball cream cheese.

00:42:29 I call it a ball o' cream cheese.

00:42:31 - Whatever, dude.

00:42:31 - Something.

00:42:33 Yeah, it was terrible.

00:42:34 Tell her to throw the bacon in a frying pan for God's sake.

00:42:37 I seen your mom one time, she was like,

00:42:39 "Hey, would you like some dessert?"

00:42:40 I'm thinking she's gonna give me a pie

00:42:41 or maybe a nice piece of fruit.

00:42:42 She gave me a potato.

00:42:44 I was like, "Hey, is this a new dessert called spud?"

00:42:47 - You love my potatoes, my friend.

00:42:49 - I was like, "Can I get some icing on this?"

00:42:51 And she's like, "Yeah, sure."

00:42:51 And she just salted it.

00:42:52 And then she took a bite at it.

00:42:54 - It's like fucking tomatoes.

00:42:55 - And then she put on Celtic music and it was weird as shit

00:42:57 and it made me really depressed.

00:42:58 - You know what's really good with baked potatoes?

00:43:01 Mayonnaise.

00:43:03 Yeah, I know, you eat that shit on everything.

00:43:04 You eat it by the jar.

00:43:05 - Dude, it's in my veins.

00:43:06 - Yeah, sure it is.

00:43:08 Is that why you're so white and pale?

00:43:10 (upbeat music)

00:43:14 (knocking)

00:43:21 - What's up? - Hey.

00:43:26 - How are you? - Good.

00:43:28 - She's nice. - Thanks.

00:43:29 - I'm not supposed to give you fish on the street.

00:43:32 I didn't know. - No.

00:43:33 - You sure? - Yeah.

00:43:34 - I can do it. - No, that's okay.

00:43:35 (laughing)

00:43:36 - We're ready to go though.

00:43:37 You all set?

00:43:38 - Yeah, should I drive?

00:43:39 - No, I'll drive.

00:43:40 I picked up an 18 earlier

00:43:41 and I'm about halfway through that.

00:43:42 So I'm good to go.

00:43:44 I'm joking.

00:43:45 - You're so funny.

00:43:46 - I had like six.

00:43:47 Rob's downstairs.

00:43:49 He just got a call from his boyfriend.

00:43:50 So we gotta go.

00:43:51 I'll check back in.

00:43:52 - Okay. - All right.

00:43:54 (door clicking)

00:44:00 - No, I'm just saying it's not gay

00:44:01 if it's a girl that eats my ass.

00:44:02 If it's a guy, I'll give you that.

00:44:03 That's borderline.

00:44:04 I'll give you borderline.

00:44:06 I'm not even going full on that.

00:44:07 - It's kinda good though.

00:44:08 - Yeah.

00:44:10 - Or what if she jams a banana in my mouth at the same time?

00:44:12 - That's gay.

00:44:12 - What if she takes fresh blackberries

00:44:14 and she just kinda mushes them up in her hand

00:44:16 and she slaps me across the face with them?

00:44:18 - What is up with your food?

00:44:19 - And then she takes,

00:44:19 all right, all right.

00:44:20 Is it weird if I like

00:44:21 when she takes frozen blueberries

00:44:23 and throws them at my back really hard

00:44:24 and they leave little welts?

00:44:25 - I don't know.

00:44:26 It's kinda weird,

00:44:27 but I would really like to try that.

00:44:28 - No, that's gross. - It's awesome.

00:44:30 - Is it? - 'Cause then you get done

00:44:31 and you don't even have to fucking get up.

00:44:32 You're fucking,

00:44:33 your meal is there.

00:44:35 - Ew. - It's not bad.

00:44:37 - It's dessert and dessert. - It's good bacon, yeah.

00:44:38 - Oh, that's gross. - You know what I'm saying?

00:44:40 - You can have your cake and eat it too.

00:44:41 - Yeah. - You're disgusting.

00:44:43 - If you're saying that I'm gay for liking that--

00:44:44 - Isn't he gay?

00:44:45 - He's gay.

00:44:46 - All right, then in three weeks time,

00:44:47 less than three weeks,

00:44:48 19 days, Gimmy,

00:44:50 you're gonna be eating a gay guy's ass.

00:44:51 - No, I'm not.

00:44:52 - Yeah, I put money on that. - No.

00:44:53 - He knows what people want. - No, I would never do that.

00:44:55 - He knows what people want. - No.

00:44:56 - They call me the rim job,

00:44:56 and I'm the rim job. (belches)

00:45:01 - Is that him?

00:45:03 - Him? - Him?

00:45:04 - Oh, God, that's him.

00:45:06 - That's like a fucking midnight marauder.

00:45:08 - What the fuck's a midnight marauder?

00:45:09 - Him.

00:45:11 Knowing the qualities you look for in a man,

00:45:12 is he willing to get killed?

00:45:14 Fucking, real quick, our heads up next time, please.

00:45:19 - Okay.

00:45:20 - Okay, I'm standing right next to him.

00:45:22 - What's up, Walter, Joe?

00:45:26 - What's up, Joe, Walter?

00:45:27 - What's up, guy?

00:45:28 - Yeah, hi.

00:45:29 - Listen, you sure you don't want me to bring the gun?

00:45:30 - Did someone say gun?

00:45:31 - No, no one said anything about a gun, Sarah, just relax.

00:45:33 - Oh.

00:45:34 - All right, Joe, just start the car,

00:45:36 and, you know, get her done.

00:45:38 - Did you just tell me to get her done?

00:45:41 - Yeah, you want me to say it again?

00:45:43 Get her done!

00:45:44 - You know I don't like when you fucking say that, man.

00:45:46 - Yeah, but it's funny.

00:45:46 - That shit is like fucking four or five years old.

00:45:49 Why are you still saying that?

00:45:52 - I don't know, I think it's cool.

00:45:54 - It's not cool.

00:45:55 - I don't like blue collar comedy.

00:45:56 - Yeah, but what, you've never said get her done?

00:45:57 - No, I don't say get her done, okay?

00:45:59 That would be trash.

00:46:01 - This isn't a good vibe.

00:46:02 - I'm sorry, I tried to understand.

00:46:05 I don't know what you're gonna fucking say.

00:46:06 - Nevermind.

00:46:07 - I'm sorry.

00:46:10 - It's okay, just nevermind.

00:46:11 - We're worlds apart right now.

00:46:13 I'm just saying, you know, you're rice and beans,

00:46:14 I'm steak and potatoes.

00:46:15 - I am.

00:46:16 - You're like gauchos.

00:46:17 You guys blow all the gauchos.

00:46:18 - No, I don't.

00:46:20 - It's common on your 15th birthday to blow a gaucho, right?

00:46:22 - No, we don't do that, no.

00:46:25 - Are you sure?

00:46:25 - Let's take Rosetta Stone together.

00:46:28 I can get classes for us.

00:46:29 - Just start the fucking car!

00:46:33 - Oh my God, start the car.

00:46:35 - Start the car, Joe.

00:46:36 - Yeah, is he holding piano right now?

00:46:40 - I just would start the car.

00:46:42 - Start the fucking car!

00:46:44 - You two-up, mongrel shit-cunt!

00:46:47 - Shit-cunt?

00:46:47 - Didn't he just call me a shit-cunt?

00:46:48 - Just drive!

00:46:49 - That sounds kinda offensive.

00:46:50 - Jesus, it's like he never fucking writes a rap.

00:46:52 - What do you call me?

00:46:52 You call me a shit-cunt.

00:46:53 - I said it.

00:46:54 ♪ We can get it on, we can get it on ♪

00:46:56 ♪ Take it from the club to my home ♪

00:46:58 ♪ Get you in the zone ♪

00:46:59 ♪ Baby, maybe we should be alone ♪

00:47:02 - Grady's talking to me and I know.

00:47:03 - That's who it is.

00:47:05 - 10 of nine.

00:47:06 - How's it going, man?

00:47:07 - Good, can you hear me?

00:47:08 - I can hear you, everybody out there.

00:47:10 - Who said hero?

00:47:11 - I said it, Lord knows we can hear you.

00:47:13 - Let me put something else in your mouth, okay?

00:47:15 - Can they hear me?

00:47:16 - Yeah.

00:47:17 - Well, if you haven't heard an idol of us,

00:47:17 welcome to the show.

00:47:18 - All right.

00:47:19 - Can you hear that?

00:47:20 - Can you hear this?

00:47:21 - Yeah.

00:47:22 - I can't see you flipping the box.

00:47:23 - Oh, fuck it up.

00:47:23 - What's going on, man?

00:47:25 - Well, you know, any studio set up for this.

00:47:30 - Is that him?

00:47:31 - Yeah, but we're here and everything's fine.

00:47:33 - I will talk to you about it when the air

00:47:35 - I'm gonna see if it's a truck.

00:47:36 - is in here, which it doesn't really.

00:47:39 (phone ringing)

00:47:42 - Who's that woman he just left?

00:47:54 She looks mad familiar.

00:47:57 - That's the man's wife.

00:47:59 - Are you serious?

00:48:01 - Dudes as smart as him don't take risks like that.

00:48:08 - My wife's so good at being bad.

00:48:11 - Did you talk about her?

00:48:12 - No.

00:48:13 - Really?

00:48:14 - So good at being bad.

00:48:15 - Yeah, why don't you blow that smoke in my face?

00:48:17 - Yeah, but I do that.

00:48:18 You officially have the worst quotes of all time.

00:48:20 - You do.

00:48:21 - Even she agrees with me.

00:48:23 - We gotta get some shots in here, yeah?

00:48:31 - Yeah.

00:48:32 - You're on the air, who's this?

00:48:35 - You're on the air.

00:48:37 - Whatever, who cares?

00:48:38 - Yeah, but Prado's a fake, he's a phony,

00:48:40 but it's so funny to listen to him now,

00:48:42 having dealt with the guy here and said, yeah, he's a--

00:48:45 - Have you seen his show?

00:48:46 - No, I mean briefly, but it's terrible.

00:48:49 You know, I need a lighter to do this.

00:48:51 - I thought you said like,

00:48:52 you know, just fire a finger,

00:48:54 a finger of fire, something sort of offhanded.

00:48:59 Could you sort of fire right--

00:49:01 (coughing)

00:49:04 - What the fuck is that?

00:49:08 - How the fuck do you get moonshots?

00:49:10 - I'll make it.

00:49:11 (coughing)

00:49:13 - Dude, for all I know, the fucking secret ingredient

00:49:15 is bone marrow, no thanks.

00:49:17 - How are you listening to the show, Lenny?

00:49:20 (coughing)

00:49:22 - So Lenny's not coming to the studio.

00:49:24 - He said he was gonna be kinda late.

00:49:27 (coughing)

00:49:29 - How'd it go?

00:49:48 - Good for yourself.

00:49:50 - I took some dangerous shots there, buddy.

00:49:52 - You're the one who said to stop.

00:49:53 - Stop!

00:49:54 (laughing)

00:49:55 - It was you and your camera that did all the work, cutie pie.

00:49:57 - What would they fucking do?

00:49:59 - You'd go to some fucking, what do you call it,

00:50:00 fucking metal?

00:50:01 - Now what, eh?

00:50:03 - Do you have any blank CDs that you can put these on?

00:50:05 - Um, I don't have any blank ones.

00:50:08 I may have one or two.

00:50:10 I'll call you and let you know.

00:50:12 - All right, cool.

00:50:13 All we need is one so we can take 'em to work,

00:50:15 and then tomorrow night I can just go get some more,

00:50:17 and you can come over to my place.

00:50:19 - Not that I set a way to get me back over your place.

00:50:21 - You like that?

00:50:22 - Yo, can we go home?

00:50:23 - I'm gonna take a break, session is an awful amount.

00:50:28 - There she is.

00:50:31 - Hey.

00:50:32 - What's up?

00:50:33 - What's up, pal?

00:50:34 I like how I was in your back pocket.

00:50:35 - Yeah, was there any room in there?

00:50:37 - Yeah, there was.

00:50:38 - Can I put my hand in just to see?

00:50:39 - No.

00:50:40 - Can I put my mouth there just to see?

00:50:42 - I have my camera still in the car

00:50:43 if you guys wanna see that later.

00:50:45 - Yeah, it's perfect, actually.

00:50:47 How was he today?

00:50:48 - The usual.

00:50:49 He asked me if I had a boyfriend,

00:50:50 and what I like to do for spare time.

00:50:53 - What'd you tell him?

00:50:54 - When?

00:50:55 - He asked if you had a boyfriend.

00:50:57 - Oh.

00:50:58 Well, I said that there is this one boy I like.

00:51:02 - I'm a man, okay?

00:51:03 I'm not a boy.

00:51:05 I got the bush to prove it.

00:51:07 - This is gang shit, honestly.

00:51:08 I'm gonna need to urge a blow to a guy right now,

00:51:10 as we speak.

00:51:10 - Just go ahead, Danny Bonaducci.

00:51:12 'Bout time some young stuff busted your hymen.

00:51:14 - I'm sorry?

00:51:15 - Put blood all over the sheets.

00:51:17 He can hang it from his balcony like they did

00:51:19 in the 17th century to show he just slayed a virgin.

00:51:22 - Did you lose your virginity, too?

00:51:24 - Oh, Raquel Stevens.

00:51:25 - That girl was hot as shit, dude.

00:51:26 - No, she wasn't.

00:51:27 - She was.

00:51:28 - She looked like John Lithgow in the Lobotomy.

00:51:30 - Are you fucking kidding me?

00:51:31 She was from Puerto Rico.

00:51:32 She wasn't a bald white guy.

00:51:34 - Who do you think she was, though?

00:51:36 - I don't think she was.

00:51:37 - She knew a lot about Third Rock and the Sun.

00:51:38 - She knew a lot about eating my ass, too.

00:51:41 - Mm-hmm.

00:51:42 - Check it out, buddy.

00:51:47 - Yeah.

00:51:50 (whispering)

00:51:52 - Okay.

00:51:53 - Right.

00:51:59 Listen, can I call you back a little later?

00:52:05 Yeah.

00:52:06 The file marked "Fuck Don," I take it?

00:52:12 - It should be.

00:52:13 (silence)

00:52:16 - I was a little surprised there, huh, Don?

00:52:29 I guess you didn't know you were

00:52:29 fucking with Army Rangers, huh, did you?

00:52:33 - Oh, no.

00:52:40 - What is he doing?

00:52:40 - Oh, no.

00:52:41 (laughing)

00:52:43 - Hey, you cut the disc, what?

00:52:45 Dude, you cut the disc in half.

00:52:50 I have 12 more of them in my place.

00:52:53 There's a black van out front

00:52:54 with eight fucking duffel bags full of them, okay?

00:52:58 Not a big deal.

00:52:59 - The van's being driven by Hannibal Smith.

00:53:03 - You fucked it up, man.

00:53:04 That was pretty good today.

00:53:06 - I was having dinner with a friend.

00:53:10 Is there something wrong with that?

00:53:12 - I don't know, we could ask the mayor.

00:53:15 Maybe for him something is wrong with it.

00:53:17 - Maybe.

00:53:18 - Unless he likes to jack off the pictures

00:53:20 of you grabbing his wife's ass.

00:53:22 Rob did.

00:53:23 - I certainly did.

00:53:24 He sure was neat buckling status, too, if I'm not bad.

00:53:27 - You probably blew through the fucking toilet paper

00:53:29 with that, didn't you?

00:53:30 - Yeah, I got a bit.

00:53:31 - Sarah's a pretty good photographer, isn't she?

00:53:36 Thank God she had the cameras, wouldn't have happened.

00:53:38 We don't even own cell phones,

00:53:40 so I don't really find them necessary.

00:53:43 - I really think landlines are gonna be

00:53:44 making a strong call back to us.

00:53:46 - I don't think so, I think they're done.

00:53:48 Not too many business attendants anymore.

00:53:52 - What do you want?

00:53:55 - For you to leave, what the hell do you think?

00:53:57 - What's the question with that?

00:53:58 - You're not in charge anymore, man.

00:54:00 We are.

00:54:01 Hey, welcome to the revolution.

00:54:04 The future is now.

00:54:05 - Maybe you should try doing porn or something.

00:54:09 - 'Cause you just got boned.

00:54:11 - Where'd you hear that?

00:54:13 - Made it up, you like it?

00:54:15 - Fuck it, it's not bad.

00:54:17 It could grow on me, I have to hear it more times.

00:54:20 - Say it again.

00:54:21 - Say it one more time.

00:54:22 - Maybe you should do porn or something.

00:54:24 'Cause you just got boned.

00:54:26 - It is growing on me, I like it better the second time.

00:54:28 - Got boned.

00:54:29 - Third time, I'm liking it even more.

00:54:32 - So if I go,

00:54:37 you won't release the pictures?

00:54:39 - No, there'd be no point.

00:54:41 Just stay the fuck away from us.

00:54:44 And occasionally, one stipulation,

00:54:45 we might call you for money if we ever

00:54:48 hit really bad times and stuff like that.

00:54:50 Which I'm sure there will be all the time.

00:54:52 I mean, just be prepared.

00:54:53 Just think of it like this.

00:54:54 We're the mafia, just not a sheep, you know?

00:54:57 - So will you give me 'til the end of the day

00:54:59 and I get my stuff together?

00:55:01 - Yes, that's fine.

00:55:05 - What's it gonna cost you, though?

00:55:07 - $100.

00:55:08 - $13.

00:55:22 - Get a couple of hoagies.

00:55:28 - Hoagies?

00:55:28 - Hoagies, yeah.

00:55:30 - You have any fucking hoagies I can give for $100?

00:55:34 - You know how many hoagies we have for $13?

00:55:38 I'm going to the deli, okay?

00:55:43 Talk about your shit, Daniel, right?

00:55:46 Tell Will Ferrell what we said what's up to.

00:55:47 Tell him Land Before Time is a piece of shit, okay?

00:55:50 She was exactly right.

00:55:52 She was your height, the same face.

00:55:55 - Get him out of here!

00:55:58 - That was your sister's birthday party, huh?

00:56:00 Bunch of fucking ingrate freaks.

00:56:01 - Get in the mood, just find a room right here.

00:56:03 - Oh, you, Lord, knock that off!

00:56:06 - You like that, big fella?

00:56:10 - Listen, I'll see you outside, all right?

00:56:12 - Listen, okay.

00:56:13 - So, by that smile on your face, must have gone well.

00:56:18 - Yeah, of course it did.

00:56:19 You expect anything less from two guys

00:56:21 that's formidable as us?

00:56:22 - You know, I notice every once in a while

00:56:24 you like to throw a big word into your sister's face.

00:56:26 - Yeah, I do, it makes me sound more intelligent.

00:56:27 'Cause I am not that smart.

00:56:29 - I know.

00:56:29 - Like you hear me say discrepancy

00:56:30 and you can't help it, those old days.

00:56:32 - Yo, if Leonardo DiCaprio's co-cow brothers

00:56:34 used to say what I think he said?

00:56:36 - Do you think he'll look like Leonardo DiCaprio?

00:56:38 - I think if he had a substance abuse problem, yeah.

00:56:42 - Oh, thank God!

00:56:43 Those two little shits are trying to blackmail me!

00:56:47 Herman!

00:56:49 - I can hear you.

00:56:50 Not my problem.

00:56:52 - Oh, no?

00:56:53 Well, listen to me.

00:56:55 What do you think's gonna happen if I leave?

00:56:57 They're gonna bring Terry McGill in here as the new director.

00:57:01 Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

00:57:02 but isn't he the one that had something to do

00:57:04 with your demotion a few years back?

00:57:06 How'd you like another go around

00:57:07 on the back of a trash truck?

00:57:10 - What do you need from me?

00:57:13 - I need to get a hold of Sarah's camera.

00:57:15 Go find her and keep her busy.

00:57:17 - How?

00:57:18 - For fuck's sake, think of something!

00:57:21 I don't know, go have her go in the back

00:57:22 and then play basketballs for all I care.

00:57:25 You'll cop a feel, you know, you'll look like you need one.

00:57:30 Now, Herman!

00:57:31 (sighs)

00:57:38 - He's like in the movie, The Game,

00:57:45 with the asshole Michael Douglas.

00:57:47 Did you ever see that?

00:57:49 - Think so.

00:57:50 Is that where he has his Harold Slick back?

00:57:52 - When doesn't he have his Harold Slick back?

00:57:55 - With his smug fucking asshole face.

00:57:58 You can only imagine that guy just

00:58:00 snatched deep and cantilatated junk.

00:58:03 - You probably would like to imagine him.

00:58:06 - It's like thinking about him

00:58:07 trading stocks for a UFO.

00:58:08 - Whatever, but Wall Street was a pretty good movie.

00:58:10 - Wall Street, to me, was the only thing that he was good.

00:58:13 Like, he's not a bad actor,

00:58:14 I just think he's pompous as shit,

00:58:15 and it bothers me.

00:58:17 - Yeah, but I mean, like, it doesn't matter though.

00:58:18 It's a good movie.

00:58:19 - Yes, it was good.

00:58:21 - Oh, don't forget, we gotta make more copies

00:58:22 of the pictures, okay?

00:58:23 So we have, you know, backup.

00:58:26 - Yeah, I know, it's easy.

00:58:27 It takes like 10 seconds.

00:58:28 Why are you bothering me with that?

00:58:30 - Just reminding you.

00:58:31 - Yeah, but I already know.

00:58:32 That's the thing.

00:58:33 When you say it again,

00:58:34 you rehash stupid shit that I already know,

00:58:36 then it makes me feel like I've got something else to do.

00:58:39 - Okay.

00:58:39 - Then I remember, wait, I already have that to do.

00:58:41 - I'm just reminding you,

00:58:42 'cause I'm probably gonna hang out with Walter.

00:58:45 - I look like fucking The Rock in Walking Paul right now.

00:58:47 - Or Kevin Sorbo in the TV.

00:58:49 - What'd you say?

00:58:50 - What?

00:58:53 - I'm gonna hang out with Walter.

00:58:55 - You're hanging out with that guy?

00:58:57 - Yeah, why?

00:58:58 - No, it's fine.

00:59:00 It's just like you put it in my face

00:59:01 like I should be jealous or something.

00:59:03 I'm hanging out with Sarah, so what's the big deal?

00:59:06 - Hanging out with Sarah tonight?

00:59:07 - Yes.

00:59:08 - You guys like going out like hanging out,

00:59:10 or like going out going out?

00:59:11 You know, like going out going out,

00:59:14 or like going out going out?

00:59:16 - What the fuck are you trying to say?

00:59:18 - Are you going out with her?

00:59:20 - We're going to the movies tonight,

00:59:22 and we're gonna go get something to eat at a restaurant.

00:59:24 - I don't understand why you can't compute shit like that.

00:59:28 What is wrong with your brain?

00:59:29 - Nothing is wrong with you.

00:59:31 - Nothing, I can understand fucking normal shit.

00:59:35 - Whatever.

00:59:36 - I can formulate normal sentences.

00:59:37 Nothing is wrong with me.

00:59:39 - It's kind of pathetic.

00:59:40 You're like really all about this, bitch.

00:59:43 - Are you fucking serious?

00:59:44 ♪ Ideas that I throw back ♪

00:59:49 - Shh.

00:59:53 ♪ Blood ties read through these eyes ♪

00:59:56 ♪ They don't lie, tip off 'til I die ♪

00:59:58 ♪ When the spirit rides, bury me right by the side ♪

01:00:01 ♪ Ready to ride, ready to die ♪

01:00:03 ♪ And take on the pit, so help 'em inside ♪

01:00:07 - Hey, I gotta go run an errand.

01:00:09 Be right back.

01:00:10 Make sure you stay here until all of this is finished.

01:00:13 - God, you can't fucking stand him.

01:00:21 He's a waste without you.

01:00:24 ♪ And left to forget, there's nothing left ♪

01:00:26 ♪ So the urge just filled with regret ♪

01:00:29 ♪ No more fancy record, execs or illegal breaches ♪

01:00:32 ♪ Just you and the mic, therapeutic for life ♪

01:00:35 ♪ Hit me for wrong, for who the fuck's right ♪

01:00:37 - You gotta be kidding me.

01:00:39 ♪ So I'm having to write by candlelight ♪

01:00:40 ♪ The flame held on tight ♪

01:00:42 ♪ But when the darkness attacks ♪

01:00:43 ♪ Guess who the fuck bounce back ♪

01:00:46 ♪ What does it mean to leave ♪

01:00:49 ♪ Come back, live another day ♪

01:00:51 ♪ You just go back ♪

01:00:54 ♪ I'm here, that I throw back ♪

01:00:58 - Well, that was easier than I thought.

01:01:01 ♪ Come back, live another day ♪

01:01:05 ♪ You just go back ♪

01:01:06 - You are so fucking lucky

01:01:07 that I don't just super kick your head off right now.

01:01:09 I'm gonna give you one option.

01:01:10 Fuck off before I do, okay?

01:01:12 - Dude, just keep walking, okay?

01:01:14 - All right, tough guy.

01:01:15 Don't tell me to keep walking, okay?

01:01:16 - Don't let me see you at the fucking apartment later either.

01:01:19 - Yeah, I won't either, don't worry.

01:01:20 - I wanna keep talking shit about me and Sarah.

01:01:21 - Yeah, you wanna know something?

01:01:22 - What are you gonna do, tough guy?

01:01:24 - Don't forget your fucking head, okay?

01:01:25 - You talk tough.

01:01:26 - So the reason we couldn't get any further

01:01:29 was you couldn't get that much copper

01:01:31 out of the United States.

01:01:32 We were looking all over the world for that.

01:01:35 Anyway, he comes up from Trinidad.

01:01:37 He's a big, big fish.

01:01:40 I'm impressed.

01:01:42 I'm giving him the nickel too.

01:01:43 I'm showing him all through.

01:01:44 We have the production facility.

01:01:46 Sarah, you got a minute?

01:01:48 My office.

01:01:49 - Anyway, he was a Buddhist.

01:01:53 - Have a seat.

01:02:00 This is just gonna take a second.

01:02:04 (clears throat)

01:02:05 Now, it seems I ran across some pictures

01:02:08 I thought you might like to see.

01:02:09 Let me just pull 'em up on this ridiculous Mac here.

01:02:11 I'm gonna miss my PC.

01:02:14 Okay, have a look at these.

01:02:16 - Where did you get that from?

01:02:18 That's my camera!

01:02:22 - I know.

01:02:23 - Where did you get it from?

01:02:25 - That doesn't really matter, does it?

01:02:27 What really matters is what we're gonna do

01:02:28 about this situation.

01:02:30 I presume you don't want any of these pictures getting out.

01:02:34 I've already deleted all the ones of myself.

01:02:40 How many copies were made?

01:02:41 - There was only one.

01:02:44 There was only one.

01:02:45 - Sarah, do I look like a fucking idiot?

01:02:49 How many copies were made?

01:02:51 Do not bullshit me.

01:02:52 - There was only one, I swear.

01:02:54 We were gonna make more later.

01:02:57 - Do not lie to me!

01:02:58 - I'm not lying to you.

01:03:01 - Phew.

01:03:07 Man, Sarah.

01:03:08 You are really a freak in these pictures.

01:03:11 - Oh, that was my boyfriend's idea.

01:03:15 - Oh.

01:03:16 - I forgot they were even there.

01:03:18 Please don't do anything with those, please.

01:03:21 - Holy shit, this dude is fucking shooting cover.

01:03:24 God damn.

01:03:27 Okay.

01:03:31 I'm willing to do something for you.

01:03:35 - What?

01:03:36 - Let me see.

01:03:37 (dramatic music)

01:03:39 You okay, buddy?

01:04:02 - I wish I could say yes.

01:04:06 - What?

01:04:06 - Where is everybody?

01:04:07 I'll be back, okay, dude?

01:04:16 Please don't kill yourself.

01:04:18 You guys see?

01:04:21 What's wrong with you?

01:04:26 - You may as well see it, Sarah.

01:04:27 - Please don't.

01:04:29 - Too late.

01:04:29 - What the fuck is that?

01:04:33 - Don't listen to me.

01:04:34 - Fuck the bullshit.

01:04:35 - No, wait, Joe, listen to me.

01:04:37 Listen to me, listen to me.

01:04:40 - Come on in.

01:04:46 This will only crash.

01:04:51 - Let it shoot.

01:04:53 - You serious?

01:04:55 - Take your fucking shoes off.

01:04:57 I like to keep a clean house.

01:05:02 - Yeah.

01:05:03 - It's bigger than it looks.

01:05:23 Let me see.

01:05:30 - Well, there's plenty of room.

01:05:32 - No, not there.

01:05:38 That's my mum's spot.

01:05:40 - What, she's, she's that, that's it, over?

01:05:44 - Yeah, yeah, that's my favourite spot.

01:05:48 Lost my virginity, oh, that's the toilet.

01:05:50 I lost my virginity there.

01:05:53 - She's a beautiful bird.

01:05:55 She died soon after.

01:05:58 - Yeah.

01:05:59 I think if you look, you can still see the stains.

01:06:03 So, uh, do you want a little pie like that?

01:06:10 - Yeah, I, I would, I'd some.

01:06:13 - Oh, good, good.

01:06:16 I fancy smoking a bowl, what about you?

01:06:17 - Mum.

01:06:18 - Now, this'll be fucking all right, though.

01:06:22 Come on.

01:06:23 - Mum.

01:06:24 (snaps)

01:06:27 (snaps)

01:06:29 (upbeat music)

01:06:35,

01:06:40 - Hi, my name is Gina, and I'm an addict.

01:07:02 And what we're gonna do is we're gonna go down the line,

01:07:04 we're gonna start with one, you be in one,

01:07:07 you be in two, three, and so on.

01:07:11 You wanna start sharing?

01:07:12 - Hi, my name is Diana, and I'm a crack whore.

01:07:17 - My name is Benny, I smoke weed,

01:07:20 so I don't know if I'm an addict,

01:07:22 but I'm here because of probation,

01:07:24 and they told me to say that,

01:07:27 make myself feel comfortable, so how you doing?

01:07:31 - Okay, so, I'm number seven, right?

01:07:35 - No, what we're doing is we're going down the line,

01:07:38 starting with number one, number two, and so on.

01:07:41 - Well, that's what the sheet says here,

01:07:42 I'm just reading, I'm sorry.

01:07:44 - Okay.

01:07:46 - First off, let me be honest with you,

01:07:47 I still don't really understand this numeral system

01:07:49 we got going on here.

01:07:51 You know, she was up, he was up,

01:07:53 and now, I guess I'm next in line,

01:07:55 so I'm gonna take my chance if that's okay with you guys.

01:07:58 - Okay.

01:08:00 - Well, you know, the funny thing is about me

01:08:02 not understanding the numeral system,

01:08:04 is there was a time I was pretty good at math, you know.

01:08:07 Then I guess that shit got harder.

01:08:11 I started to notice that a lot of the numbers

01:08:12 were disappearing, and it was a lot more weird symbols.

01:08:15 So, at the point where, you know,

01:08:19 fucking math class started looking like

01:08:21 trying to figure out the Stargate,

01:08:22 I just kinda gave up, you know.

01:08:25 If the movie Stargate taught us one thing,

01:08:27 it's that all androgynous pharaohs from the future

01:08:30 are pretty weird looking,

01:08:31 and that the only way you can deal with that many symbols

01:08:34 is to blow it up with Kurt Russell,

01:08:36 or get a D in calculus.

01:08:37 But anyways, let me go on to kind of why I'm here.

01:08:40 I have this habit of every day going out to the lake

01:08:43 right by my house and feeding the ducks.

01:08:45 You know, the ducks are all like pretty happy,

01:08:47 always quacking, and you know,

01:08:49 a quack is sometimes much more fun to hear

01:08:50 than like, you know, an angry person's voice,

01:08:52 so it's always refreshing, you know.

01:08:54 And you spend so much time listening to humans nowadays,

01:08:57 it's nice to hear like a duck talk,

01:08:59 'cause you don't hear that very often.

01:09:01 People say quack quack,

01:09:02 but that's not even close to what they sound like.

01:09:04 You kinda gotta see it for yourself.

01:09:06 They love bagel chips. (laughs)

01:09:08 But that's a whole 'nother story.

01:09:10 Everything, everything bagel chips.

01:09:12 Plain, but not cinnamon raisin.

01:09:14 And I can tell you guys this from experience.

01:09:16 So I used to go feed these motherfuckers every day, man.

01:09:19 One day I decided to invite my friends out with me

01:09:22 to feed the ducks.

01:09:23 And we gotten particularly high that day, I treated them.

01:09:27 That day actually happened to be the first day

01:09:28 that we saw a baby duckling out on the lake.

01:09:32 You know, springtime, what do you expect, man?

01:09:35 You know, sometimes you're gonna find a duckling

01:09:37 in the middle of springtime.

01:09:37 Consider yourself lucky, so I thought.

01:09:40 Unfortunately, this pond also happens to be

01:09:42 like inhabited by huge carp.

01:09:44 You guys, like, are you guys familiar with carp?

01:09:47 You guys seen those motherfuckers around?

01:09:49 Oh my God, all right, well,

01:09:51 I happen to think catfish look disgusting

01:09:53 and look really like silly sometimes,

01:09:55 but these are a close second for like, you know,

01:09:58 dumbest looking fish.

01:10:00 These carp were swimming around,

01:10:01 these baby ducks were swimming around.

01:10:02 Me and my friends, we're all pretty high.

01:10:05 So yeah, the next thing we knew,

01:10:07 a carp ate the baby duck.

01:10:12 One of those gross fish.

01:10:14 Not even fucking with you guys.

01:10:17 I'm serious.

01:10:20 I didn't have to see that shit.

01:10:23 None of us had to see that shit.

01:10:25 And we were all so torn up about it,

01:10:27 we felt, you know, you gotta feel

01:10:28 partially responsible at that point.

01:10:30 You know?

01:10:32 How can you ever forgive yourself

01:10:34 with a baby duck, man?

01:10:35 You had a hand in that shit.

01:10:36 I thought we were gonna be featured

01:10:40 on like a Sarah Bacow commercial or something.

01:10:42 You know, when she plays the guitar,

01:10:44 and it's like sad animals.

01:10:46 I could've been, but that's sad.

01:10:47 So, anyways, I'm really, really sorry,

01:10:53 but I'm just not participating

01:10:55 in your numeral system anymore.

01:10:57 Sorry, guys.

01:10:57 I just don't really understand you.

01:11:00 And, oh, I'm John, by the way.

01:11:04 Guys, I realize I didn't introduce myself.

01:11:07 But at least you get to know a little bit about me tonight.

01:11:11 Oh, and by the way, does anybody know

01:11:13 what John is in Icelandic?

01:11:15 Yo.

01:11:19 (light music)

01:11:23 (light music)

01:11:25 (light music)

01:11:29 (light music)

01:11:31 (light music)

01:11:34 (light music)

01:11:40 (light music)

01:11:56 (light music)

01:11:58 Yo, what's the word, you fucking no good,

01:12:17 scummy to the earth, fucking pole smoker, you?

01:12:20 Oh, shit, is this Kyle?

01:12:25 - Sorry, Kyle.

01:12:27 - Oh, fuck me, I'm sorry.

01:12:28 I know this is, jeez, what time is this?

01:12:31 Like, I'm sorry, like, that is pretty appropriate

01:12:34 for me to be calling this late.

01:12:35 I just, I thought this was a friend of mine.

01:12:37 That's who I was trying to get in touch with.

01:12:39 So, I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I woke you and your family.

01:12:42 I'm a nice guy, but I didn't mean to do that.

01:12:45 But I'm gonna let you get going.

01:12:47 I'm gonna call him, and I might even call you back later,

01:12:51 'cause I like your voice.

01:12:52 You sound like you should do books on tape.

01:12:55 Maybe you could read the Da Vinci Code.

01:12:58 I could see you pulling that off.

01:13:00 But I'm gonna let you get going,

01:13:01 'cause I got some business to take care of.

01:13:03 Have a good night, sorry about that.

01:13:04 (light music)

01:13:07 (phone ringing)

01:13:09 Yeah, dude.

01:13:28 What are you doing, man?

01:13:30 You fucking, you piece of shit, you.

01:13:33 You Irishman, you look like everything.

01:13:35 I got a lot of bad words to say about you right now.

01:13:37 What are you up to?

01:13:38 Yeah, dude, I'm just hanging out right now, man.

01:13:43 Why else, what do you think I'm calling you for right now?

01:13:46 Ask yourself that question.

01:13:48 Why else would I be calling you right now?

01:13:50 To chat?

01:13:51 Do I look like, do I come off as the kind of guy

01:13:53 who just calls to chat?

01:13:55 Who calls to catch up and just shoot the breeze,

01:13:57 to ask you how your dog is?

01:13:59 To ask you about your little sister's fucking calculus test?

01:14:02 I don't care about that stuff.

01:14:03 I'm calling you for one reason right now.

01:14:06 Yeah, dude, I'm definitely tuned up right now.

01:14:09 I'm not gonna lie, but you know,

01:14:11 I'm trying to take it to that next level.

01:14:13 The level that I invented.

01:14:15 I don't wanna remember my name in 10 minutes, more or less.

01:14:18 I wanna forget what color pants I'm wearing,

01:14:21 and I'm looking right at 'em.

01:14:22 Dude, you gotta be shitting me.

01:14:26 Dude, if you're a drug dealer and you don't have drugs,

01:14:31 what's your point?

01:14:32 Why do you exist?

01:14:34 Why are you here?

01:14:36 I'm sorry, dude.

01:14:40 Like, I gotta, that's bullshit.

01:14:43 I'm gonna say something.

01:14:44 I wish death upon you and all of your loved ones,

01:14:47 and a lot of people you've come in contact with,

01:14:49 like people that you went to school with.

01:14:51 Because you're letting me down right now.

01:14:52 You're hurting me.

01:14:53 No, dude, fuck you, man.

01:14:56 Fuck you.

01:14:57 Fuck you, man.

01:15:00 Don't tell me.

01:15:01 Fuck, like, fucking later, dude.

01:15:03 Fuck you.

01:15:04 I gotta go to the sky for one reason.

01:15:06 Fucking fuck me.

01:15:07 What's that?

01:15:15 What's just falling down?

01:15:18 It is asking for it,

01:15:21 but it's holding her to the now attitude,

01:15:23 the way it kinda just stares at you.

01:15:26 Well, I'll tell you what.

01:15:27 I'm gonna give you a pass.

01:15:28 For right now, this is the only way.

01:15:32 I'm not in this sweet spot.

01:15:34 But I'll be back for you later.

01:15:36 Let's say we're gonna rendezvous here in Vietnam, okay?

01:15:41 I'll be back.

01:16:01 Oh, fuck it, come on.

01:16:03 Hello?

01:16:08 Fuck it, what am I, what am I paying this guy?

01:16:10 Yeah!

01:16:11 Fucking five second delay.

01:16:16 I thought I was in my bedroom.

01:16:19 Didn't know I was at the Grammys.

01:16:21 Didn't know I was at the Grammys

01:16:24 and I had to have a five second delay.

01:16:26 In case, when using this product,

01:16:29 avoid alcoholic beverages.

01:16:31 Yeah, you got it.

01:16:33 You got it, I won't even fucking look at the stuff.

01:16:35 I'm gonna stay away from it.

01:16:41 Fuck.

01:16:43 Who do?

01:16:44 They try and tell me what to do,

01:16:46 but I'm like a guard, you know?

01:16:47 That's the thing about me.

01:16:49 I don't really, I don't like people trying to tell me,

01:16:51 you tell me what to do,

01:16:53 and then I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it,

01:16:55 and you're gonna think, "Oh, he's a good listener.

01:16:57 "He's a good listener, he takes directions, he's a nice guy."

01:16:59 But then, once you, once you put your trust in me,

01:17:01 I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna do what you told me not to do.

01:17:04 And you're gonna say, "What the fuck?

01:17:05 "What's wrong with this kid?

01:17:07 "I thought I could fucking trust him,

01:17:09 "and he fucking, he takes it too far."

01:17:12 Fucking, oh!

01:17:22 Oh my God, it's fucking...

01:17:25 This might be enough to kill me.

01:17:29 What, what, what is, is this, is this not?

01:17:32 I don't even know if I'm gonna make it out.

01:17:34 I guess I'll just go with it.

01:17:36 I guess I'll just go with it, I guess we'll get good tunes on the radio.

01:17:38 And I'll, at the very least, I'll sleep good tonight.

01:17:41 I'll get a good night's sleep.

01:17:42 And look at me for one second.

01:17:44 Look at me for one second.

01:17:46 You are a high-end endurance, aren't you?

01:17:48 There can be only one.

01:17:52 (humming)

01:17:58 Fucking queen.

01:18:00 (humming)

01:18:07 (humming)

01:18:09 (yells)

01:18:34 (yells)

01:18:37 Hey.

01:18:43 Can you please talk to me?

01:18:46 Yeah.

01:18:48 What's that smell?

01:18:50 Something's on my head.

01:18:51 What is with your forehead?

01:18:53 It's nothing.

01:18:57 Are you drunk?

01:18:59 Who do you care, you know?

01:19:03 Does my breath smell like piss at all, by the way?

01:19:05 No.

01:19:06 Were you drinking piss?

01:19:08 Yeah, I was drinking piss.

01:19:11 'Cause it's such a good chaser for whiskey.

01:19:13 Can we please talk about yesterday?

01:19:17 I'll just go grab a few drinks.

01:19:30 How, how was, um...

01:19:32 Excuse me.

01:19:33 How was Walter's last night?

01:19:34 Great time.

01:19:35 Guy's so funny, man.

01:19:37 Really is.

01:19:39 You, um...

01:19:41 You staying over at Aragon tonight?

01:19:43 Maybe you want.

01:19:45 No, no reason.

01:19:47 Just asking.

01:19:49 Like, you can stay here if you want to.

01:19:51 It's not a big deal.

01:19:53 What do you mean, "Just"?

01:19:55 I don't care.

01:19:56 It's not, not for me, it's for you.

01:19:58 Whatever you want to do.

01:20:01 Who called?

01:20:03 I don't know, I didn't hear a ring.

01:20:05 You called a messenger.

01:20:11 Was that a cyborg?

01:20:13 Dude, I think it was a terminator.

01:20:15 I'll be back.

01:20:17 What?

01:20:18 What?

01:20:19 I'll be back?

01:20:21 It's only part of the movie I remember.

01:20:23 Yeah, but it's from like '94.

01:20:25 Yeah, I know.

01:20:26 We made two sequels.

01:20:28 Next thing I know you're gonna be saying "Hasta la vista, baby."

01:20:30 Oh, fuck.

01:20:32 I just apologized.

01:20:35 You alright?

01:20:37 I'm alright.

01:20:39 I just want to apologize.

01:20:41 Nah, it's okay.

01:20:42 It'll happen.

01:20:43 We're fine.

01:20:44 Aw, you guys got into a fight and that was like your cute unofficial way of making up, huh?

01:20:50 What?

01:20:51 Yeah, seriously.

01:20:52 Talking to me or you?

01:20:53 I know she was talking to me.

01:20:55 Better not be talking to me.

01:20:56 I think he's pulling me in the line.

01:20:58 Yeah, that's why I'm talking.

01:20:59 I'm not letting good old you guys debate.

01:21:01 Alright, well, listen.

01:21:04 We never got to celebrate the other.

01:21:06 What the fuck was that?

01:21:07 I like how you just said it without me.

01:21:09 You don't want to make this, trying to tell you that we didn't celebrate.

01:21:11 Yeah, but what is that?

01:21:12 What is this?

01:21:13 Yeah, flash from the past.

01:21:14 Brendan Frazier?

01:21:15 Yeah, his father.

01:21:16 What was his name?

01:21:17 Christopher, um...

01:21:18 Reeves?

01:21:19 No, Walton, you idiot.

01:21:21 I was gonna say Reeves, actually.

01:21:23 Yeah, you probably were.

01:21:24 I'm used to shit.

01:21:25 I'm used to that.

01:21:26 Yeah, every time there's some PBS late at night, I watch it.

01:21:28 Elise Silverstone.

01:21:30 Elise Silverstone?

01:21:32 Is that a person?

01:21:33 I don't know, what's her name?

01:21:34 Alicia Silverstone.

01:21:35 Whatever, dude.

01:21:36 I'm clueless.

01:21:37 Alright, that was well done.

01:21:39 You down to celebrate, then?

01:21:43 Dude, I would fucking love to celebrate.

01:21:44 You'd rip my face off.

01:21:45 Problem?

01:21:46 Yeah, we got a bit of a problem.

01:21:47 Dude, she's pregnant?

01:21:49 She's not pregnant.

01:21:50 Are you serious?

01:21:51 She's not pregnant, you fucking idiot.

01:21:52 I haven't even fucked her yet.

01:21:53 Really?

01:21:54 Yeah, even though I just said I did.

01:21:55 That was for a joke, but in real life, you know I haven't.

01:21:57 It was like Paul D. the other day.

01:21:59 He said he was touching a dick.

01:22:00 Really?

01:22:01 Yeah.

01:22:02 Oh my God!

01:22:03 I'm sitting right here.

01:22:05 Yeah, but it's true.

01:22:06 Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to my best friend.

01:22:09 You know?

01:22:10 Can't do it.

01:22:12 Not gonna anyway, dude.

01:22:14 Donna's got a whole hundred cameras.

01:22:15 Worse than that, though, there were some pictures on there.

01:22:17 I've heard her ex-boyfriend doing some stuff.

01:22:19 What stuff?

01:22:20 What do you think?

01:22:21 Yeah, figure it out.

01:22:22 Wow.

01:22:23 Anyway, this guy said he's gonna release it on everybody, unless you and I quit.

01:22:24 He's gonna fucking send it to my address, which is gonna get me fired, too.

01:22:25 Oh.

01:22:26 Crazy, dude.

01:22:27 God, sounds like a fucking Tom Clancy novel right here.

01:22:28 Are you serious?

01:22:29 Yeah, I guess I'm serious.

01:22:30 I wish I wasn't.

01:22:31 God, this guy's like really good at being bad.

01:22:32 So good at being bad.

01:22:33 I'm kind of starting to root for the guy.

01:22:34 Yeah, me too.

01:22:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:22:36 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:22:37 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:22:38 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:22:39 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:22:40 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:23:01 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:23:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:23:58 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:23:59 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:00 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:01 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:02 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:03 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:04 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:05 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:06 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:07 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:08 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:09 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:10 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:11 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:12 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:13 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:24:39 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:07 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:08 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:09 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:10 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:11 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:12 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:13 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:14 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:15 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:16 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:17 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:18 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:19 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:20 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:21 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:22 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:25:48 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:17 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:18 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:19 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:20 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:21 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:22 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:23 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:27 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:28 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:30 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:31 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:26:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:27:00 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:27:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:27:50 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:19 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:20 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:21 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:22 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:23 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:27 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:28 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:30 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:31 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:33 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:28:34 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:29:00 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:29:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:29:54 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:23 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:27 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:28 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:30 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:31 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:33 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:34 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:36 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:37 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:30:38 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:31:04 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:31:31 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:31:59 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:28 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:30 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:31 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:33 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:34 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:36 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:37 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:38 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:39 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:40 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:41 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:42 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:32:43 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:11 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:12 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:13 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:14 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:15 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:16 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:17 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:18 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:19 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:20 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:21 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:22 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:23 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:33:52 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:20 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:21 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:22 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:23 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:27 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:28 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:30 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:31 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:33 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:34 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:34:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:01 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:54 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:55 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:56 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:57 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:58 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:35:59 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:00 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:01 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:02 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:03 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:04 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:05 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:06 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:07 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:08 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:09 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:36:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:02 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:30 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:33 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:34 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:36 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:37 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:38 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:39 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:40 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:41 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:42 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:43 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:44 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:45 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:37:46 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:14 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:15 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:16 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:17 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:18 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:19 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:20 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:21 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:22 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:23 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:24 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:25 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:26 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:27 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:28 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:29 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:38:57 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:39:18 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:39:41 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:40:09 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:40:25, I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:40:55 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:02 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:03 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:04 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:05 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:06 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:07 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:08 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:09 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:10 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:11 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:12 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:13 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:14 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:15 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:16 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:41:40 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:42:06 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:42:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:03 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:32 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:33 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:34 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:35 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:36 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:37 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:38 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:39 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:40 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:41 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:42 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:43 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:44 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:45 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:46 I'm like, "I'm gonna fuck this guy."

01:43:47 And there is not one fucking person in this shitty little town that's gonna take your

01:43:54 word over mine.

01:43:55 Not even that pretentious asshole Steve.

01:43:56 I'm telling you, I am at the end of my fucking road.

01:43:57 Your stupid face, your fucked up attitude, that sorry excuse of a sense of humor you

01:43:58 have.

01:43:59 I'm gonna find out about you sooner or later, dickhead.

01:44:00 You don't even recognize that you fucked his wife?

01:44:01 Richard's just clueless.

01:44:02 Besides, he's on his way out, so who gives a rat's ass?

01:44:03 Besides, if he was taking care of her at home, I wouldn't have to.

01:44:04 Go try to get some sleep.

01:44:05 I'm gonna find out about you sooner or later, dickhead.

01:44:06 You don't even recognize that you fucked his wife?

01:44:07 Richard's just clueless.

01:44:08 Besides, he's on his way out, so who gives a rat's ass?

01:44:10 Go try to get some sleep.

01:44:11 I'm gonna find out about you sooner or later, dickhead.

01:44:12 You don't even recognize that you fucked his wife?

01:44:13 Richard's just clueless.

01:44:14 Besides, he's on his way out, so who gives a rat's ass?

01:44:15 Besides, if he was taking care of her at home, I wouldn't have to.

01:44:16 Don't try to spit it like you're doing some good deed.

01:44:17 You're just some sick sexual fucking deviant who's trying to get laid.

01:44:18 That's why you've been trying to bang Sarah nonstop this past month, dick.

01:44:19 Always a fucking clown.

01:44:20 If you never just shut the fuck up, you always have to have the last word, don't you?

01:44:21 That's why you don't like robbing me?

01:44:22 That's why you've been trying to fire us and fucking make everybody else miserable?

01:44:23 Because you like to have fun?

01:44:24 That's right.

01:44:25 It's finally over and done with.

01:44:37 You two assholes will be gone in a week and I'll be fucking your girlfriend, Sarah.

01:44:42 That is if she wants to keep her job.

01:44:43 Can you do me one favor, though?

01:44:44 Can you say I played this city like the harp from hell?

01:44:45 I think it goes without saying that you're fired, Dom.

01:44:57 And on top of what you heard him confess to, what you didn't see was he tried to have his

01:45:01 way with me.

01:45:02 And I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.

01:45:03 It's definitely fucking him.

01:45:04 I had his blood.

01:45:05 I think he broke my nose.

01:45:06 Escort him out of here and call the police.

01:45:07 I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.

01:45:08 I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.

01:45:09 I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.

01:45:10 I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.

01:45:11 I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.

01:45:12 Escort him out of here and call the police.

01:45:13 Piece of shit.

01:45:14 Now you see what we've been dealing with?

01:45:15 It's been a nightmare.

01:45:16 You wouldn't believe what we had to do to keep our job, Steve.

01:45:17 Rob had to sleep with him to keep his job.

01:45:18 What?

01:45:19 No, I didn't.

01:45:20 Yes, you did.

01:45:21 It's okay.

01:45:22 It's done.

01:45:23 I can't apologize enough to you guys.

01:45:24 I had absolutely no idea any of this was going on.

01:45:25 And speaking off the record, I'm not going to be here for another hour.

01:45:26 I'm going to be here for the rest of the night.

01:45:27 I'm going to be here for the rest of the night.

01:45:28 I'm going to be here for the rest of the night.

01:45:29 I'm going to be here for the rest of the night.

01:45:30 I'm going to be here for the rest of the night.

01:45:31 Yeah, but I'd like to talk about that.

01:45:32 Okay, Steve?

01:45:33 Can you girls give us a minute, please?

01:45:34 Speaking on the record here, dude, I think it's a disgrace that this guy's been getting

01:45:35 away with this shit for so long.

01:45:36 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:37 I mean, it's not like he's got nothing to do with it.

01:45:38 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:39 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:40 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:41 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:42 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:43 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:44 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:45 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:46 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:47 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:48 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:46:09 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:46:35 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:46:42 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:46:51 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:46:57 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:03 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:10 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:17 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:24 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:31 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:38 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:43 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:49 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:47:56 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:03 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:10 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:17 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:24 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:31 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:39 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:46 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:48:53 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:00 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:07 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:14 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:21 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:28 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:35 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:42 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:49 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:49:56 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:03 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:10 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:17 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:24 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:31 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:38 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:45 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:52 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:50:59 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:06 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:13 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:20 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:27 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:34 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:41 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:48 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:51:55 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:02 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:09 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:16 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:23 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:30 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:37 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:44 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:51 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:52:58 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:05 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:12 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:19 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:26 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:33 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:40 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:47 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:53:54 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:01 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:08 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:15 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:22 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:29 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:36 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:43 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:50 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:54:57 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:55:04 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:55:11 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:55:18 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:55:25 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:55:32 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:55:37 (upbeat music)

T.I.M Full Movie

Transcript

Recommended