• last year
Bikini Beach Race
Transcript
00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:36 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
00:00:37 Ow!
00:00:38 You freaking idiot!
00:00:39 What are you looking at, you gay big butthead?
00:00:41 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
00:00:42 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
00:00:43 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
00:00:46 Excuse me, I'm coming through.
00:00:47 I'm late. Excuse me.
00:00:48 Excuse me, coming through.
00:00:50 Hi, oh, I fixed your microwave.
00:00:51 Excuse me, coming through.
00:00:52 Coming through.
00:00:53 Hold on, Stanley.
00:00:54 We're going to make it.
00:00:55 Hold on.
00:00:56 Excuse me.
00:00:57 Make way, you mental midget!
00:00:59 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
00:01:00 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
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00:01:07 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:10 [INAUDIBLE]
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00:01:20 [INAUDIBLE]
00:01:21 [GLASS SHATTERING]
00:01:22 [INAUDIBLE]
00:01:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:26 Out of the way, cretin.
00:01:35 I know it all.
00:01:37 I'm a 4.0 academic.
00:01:38 I'm kind to you.
00:01:40 [INAUDIBLE]
00:01:42 The VIP, the magna cum laude.
00:01:44 I know it all.
00:01:46 I know it all.
00:01:47 I know it all.
00:01:50 Yes, I do believe you're next, Milton.
00:01:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:06 You have to execute at least one complete pull-up,
00:02:27 or you fail the physical portion of your final.
00:02:30 Are we understood, Polarski?
00:02:33 [SNORING]
00:02:36 Get up there.
00:02:37 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:40 Now I've got you, you fat tub of lard.
00:02:50 Five years.
00:02:54 Five years you've coasted on a D minus.
00:02:58 This time you're out, mister.
00:03:01 Oh, that's it.
00:03:02 That's it.
00:03:03 Throw in the towel.
00:03:04 Throw it in.
00:03:05 Your ass is history, you slob.
00:03:08 You're an official F. Who's got the last laugh now?
00:03:14 Aloha, Dano.
00:03:17 [FARTING]
00:03:18 [LAUGHTER]
00:03:21 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03:24 [LAUGHTER]
00:03:27 Just like in the fly, my invention
00:03:38 will molecularly atomize an organic subject,
00:03:43 transport it to my auxiliary dish,
00:03:46 and then biochemically reassemble it at five times
00:03:54 its original size.
00:03:57 This is your master's thesis, Milton.
00:03:59 If you're up to another one of your pranks,
00:04:01 I'm going to make sure that you don't ever graduate
00:04:03 from this or any other university.
00:04:06 You see, he isn't believing me, bro.
00:04:09 I've camouflaged an auxiliary dish
00:04:11 for some unbiased witnesses.
00:04:14 Live from New Jersey, Milo TV.
00:04:19 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:22 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:25 [INTERPOSING VOICES]
00:04:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:34 [INTERPOSING VOICES]
00:04:37 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:40 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:04:43 [SCREAMING]
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00:05:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:04 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:07 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:10 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:13 And for my daredevil test pilot, I've chosen Stanley.
00:05:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:05:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:38 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:41 [WHISTLE]
00:05:42 That's it, ladies.
00:05:43 To the shower.
00:05:44 [MUSIC]
00:05:54 [MUSIC]
00:06:20 At this time, will everybody please place your protective goggles on?
00:06:24 [MUSIC]
00:06:35 Lights out.
00:06:36 [MUSIC]
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00:08:18 Where's my dish?
00:08:19 [MUSIC]
00:08:29 [MUSIC]
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00:08:49 [MUSIC]
00:08:59 We're talking about an A+ here, Pro?
00:09:01 Out.
00:09:02 B?
00:09:03 Get out of here.
00:09:04 C? F-?
00:09:05 Get the hell out of here!
00:09:06 [MUSIC]
00:09:16 Damn, Choco!
00:09:18 [MUSIC]
00:09:27 I'm gonna kill you!
00:09:30 [MUSIC]
00:09:33 Hi.
00:09:34 [MUSIC]
00:09:51 Actually, I found the same problem on it as on your blender,
00:09:54 so I took two rotary motors and I put them in there,
00:09:56 and it should work fine now.
00:09:58 Hang on, hang on. You're right there. Great.
00:10:00 Smile.
00:10:01 [MUSIC]
00:10:03 Gotcha.
00:10:04 I don't know, Milo.
00:10:05 It just doesn't seem like my same old friend that it was.
00:10:08 Well, I supercharged it, and it's also solar powered now.
00:10:13 You solar powered it?
00:10:15 You supercharged it too?
00:10:18 Milo, what have you done to my vibrator?
00:10:20 Give it a try. It'll work.
00:10:22 I do not believe you.
00:10:25 Okay. All right.
00:10:28 Okay. This is all right.
00:10:31 Okay, go second.
00:10:32 Okay, second phase.
00:10:34 Milo, this is too much.
00:10:36 And now third.
00:10:37 Milo, Milo, it's going crazy on me.
00:10:40 Milo, stop it.
00:10:41 You pulled a wire.
00:10:42 Milo, get out of this thing.
00:10:43 I can't let go.
00:10:44 You pulled this off. I think they're all weak.
00:10:46 Milo, disengage.
00:10:47 Stop it.
00:10:48 Disengage. You're gonna break my--
00:10:49 Milo, you're stealing my vibrator.
00:10:50 Watch out.
00:10:51 [MUSIC]
00:10:59 Go, go, go, go.
00:11:02 Go, go, go, go.
00:11:04 [MUSIC]
00:11:14 [MUSIC]
00:11:31 Wait, Milo. Wait.
00:11:34 I can fix-- I can't fix it. Uh-oh.
00:11:37 Milo.
00:11:40 [MUSIC]
00:11:47 Milo.
00:11:51 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:11:53 [MUSIC]
00:11:58 You killed Java woman.
00:12:01 I'm dying here.
00:12:02 Hey.
00:12:04 Young dude, what's happening with the honey bone?
00:12:07 Another rewiring job.
00:12:08 You know, once I let a girl walk in here with some broken appliance.
00:12:11 We gotta vacate this scam farm.
00:12:14 Yeah, man.
00:12:15 These chickens are scandalous.
00:12:17 This school is scandalous.
00:12:19 You know, guys, Muriel is now officially on--
00:12:22 The wall of shame.
00:12:25 [YELLING]
00:12:29 What we need are women who are user-friendly.
00:12:33 Fucking A.
00:12:35 You guys are seriously starting to worry me here.
00:12:37 Priorities, dude. Priorities.
00:12:39 Right. Dear Mom and Dad,
00:12:41 Birdie's up on arson charges,
00:12:43 Cheese is wanted for attempted murder,
00:12:44 and I'm facing the entire athletic board for sexual harassment.
00:12:47 Graduation's next month.
00:12:48 Know any good attorneys?
00:12:50 Yo, how's it hanging, Mrs. Milo?
00:12:57 We can still join the army.
00:12:58 Be all that we can be.
00:13:01 Post office.
00:13:03 Burger land.
00:13:05 Listen, dude, this is all a majorly bogus instigation
00:13:08 Against our more intellectual psyche.
00:13:12 Yeah!
00:13:15 Want a pizza?
00:13:16 I've been thinking about that.
00:13:18 Great. I'll order five Vitos.
00:13:19 No, no. I mean, I've got an idea.
00:13:22 Slam it, bud.
00:13:24 Do you guys ever hear of extra credit?
00:13:30 Oh, God!
00:13:35 [screaming]
00:13:38 [music]
00:13:49 ♪ Wake up in the morning, I can feel the heartbeat ♪
00:13:53 ♪ Living here on Deck the Streets ♪
00:13:58 ♪ Blood rushes with everyone I meet ♪
00:14:01 ♪ These are the people on Deck the Streets ♪
00:14:05 ♪ Everybody sing ♪
00:14:06 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:14:09 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:14:11 ♪ Feel the heartbeat beneath your feet, oh, yeah ♪
00:14:15 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:14:17 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:14:19 ♪ Feel the heartbeat in Miami Beach ♪
00:14:24 ♪ The land where the women are so sweet ♪
00:14:28 ♪ The beaches and the sun weather are all I need ♪
00:14:31 ♪ The natives sing, let the women and the gentlemen play ♪
00:14:36 ♪ Because we're the plainties at Deck the Streets ♪
00:14:40 ♪ Everybody sing ♪
00:14:41 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:14:43 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:14:46 ♪ Feel the heartbeat beneath your feet, oh, yeah ♪
00:14:50 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:14:52 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:14:54 ♪ Feel the heartbeat in Miami Beach ♪
00:14:59 ♪ 'Cause the sun weather won't invade the way ♪
00:15:03 ♪ Because tomorrow brings another day ♪
00:15:08 ♪ That's the time to hit those big hotels ♪
00:15:10 ♪ That's where she wants to stay ♪
00:15:12 ♪ 'Cause the fun here never, well, never fades away ♪
00:15:18 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:15:20 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:15:23 ♪ Feel the heartbeat in Miami Beach ♪
00:15:26 ♪ 'Cause the sun weather won't invade the way ♪
00:15:30 ♪ Because tomorrow brings another day ♪
00:15:32 ♪ That's the time to hit those big hotels ♪
00:15:34 ♪ That's where she wants to stay ♪
00:15:36 ♪ 'Cause the fun here never, well, never fades away ♪
00:15:40 ♪ 'Cause the fun here never, well, never fades away ♪
00:15:44 ♪
00:15:52 ♪ We're in the land where the rainbows are sweet ♪
00:15:56 ♪ The beaches and the sun were where the people all landed ♪
00:16:00 ♪ And the ladies say we're happy ♪
00:16:02 ♪ And the children play because ♪
00:16:05 ♪ We proclaim this as Deck the Days ♪
00:16:09 ♪ Everybody sing ♪
00:16:10 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:16:12 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:16:14 ♪ Feel the heartbeat in Miami Beach ♪
00:16:17 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
00:16:19 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
00:16:21 ♪ Living on Deck the Streets ♪
00:16:23 ♪ Feel the heartbeat in Miami Beach ♪
00:16:27 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:29 Hey!
00:16:30 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:34 Hi, my name's Chief.
00:16:36 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:39 [laughing]
00:16:40 Did you see the beach?
00:16:42 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:45 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:47 [all cheering]
00:16:49 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:52 Whoa!
00:16:53 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:56 [indistinct chatter]
00:16:58 [all cheering]
00:16:59 It's good for you too!
00:17:01 It was great!
00:17:02 [all cheering]
00:17:04 [all cheering]
00:17:09 [all cheering]
00:17:12 [indistinct chatter]
00:17:15 [grunting]
00:17:17 [panting]
00:17:19 [grunting]
00:17:22 Stop!
00:17:23 [all cheering]
00:17:25 Oxalidimethyloxybenzone?
00:17:28 Poison!
00:17:30 I'll save you!
00:17:32 [humming]
00:17:33 Stop it!
00:17:34 Stop it! Get off me!
00:17:35 Mine's kosher!
00:17:36 We're from New York!
00:17:37 Dude!
00:17:39 Yes! Yes!
00:17:41 [indistinct chatter]
00:17:44 [indistinct chatter]
00:17:50 What's up, sugar bush?
00:17:52 Who are you?
00:17:54 [laughing]
00:17:56 I'm your savage sex puppet.
00:17:59 [laughing]
00:18:01 [laughing]
00:18:06 [laughing]
00:18:09 [laughing]
00:18:12 [laughing]
00:18:15 [laughing]
00:18:19 Shameless!
00:18:21 [laughing]
00:18:25 Go, go, go!
00:18:27 [laughing]
00:18:31 [laughing]
00:18:34 [all cheering]
00:18:37 [upbeat music]
00:18:40 ♪ ♪
00:18:47 ♪ ♪
00:18:56 Hey, Hodgie, you think this is the right place?
00:18:59 Yeah.
00:19:00 Let's go.
00:19:02 ♪ ♪
00:19:07 Dude!
00:19:08 ♪ ♪
00:19:11 Dude, check it out!
00:19:13 [wind blowing]
00:19:18 ♪ ♪
00:19:19 That's my cousin, Hyman.
00:19:20 Hyman?
00:19:21 Jamie?
00:19:22 Hyman.
00:19:23 Hyman!
00:19:25 Hyman!
00:19:27 Hyman!
00:19:29 ♪ ♪
00:19:36 Step aside!
00:19:38 ♪ ♪
00:19:39 [grunting]
00:19:41 ♪ ♪
00:19:46 Great, you killed him!
00:19:48 [grunting]
00:19:53 Mate, talk about your creeper.
00:19:56 Hyman!
00:19:59 Hyman!
00:20:02 Look!
00:20:03 Hyman!
00:20:05 Hyman!
00:20:07 Milo! Milo!
00:20:09 [laughing]
00:20:11 [speaking Spanish]
00:20:14 [laughing]
00:20:15 You don't know, you crazy nutcase!
00:20:17 You grew up with--
00:20:18 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:20:20 [laughing]
00:20:22 Hey, who's there?
00:20:23 Hey, you!
00:20:24 You know Anita, she leave me and break my heart.
00:20:27 Cabron, why don't you write to me?
00:20:29 Stop there, you!
00:20:30 Whoa, what's in the spliff, dude?
00:20:33 What's with him?
00:20:34 Is he Honduran or what?
00:20:35 Speak English, man.
00:20:36 It's okay, Hyman, he's my friend.
00:20:37 Cheese.
00:20:38 Yo!
00:20:39 Oh, he's my friend, too.
00:20:40 [laughing]
00:20:41 And this is Birdie.
00:20:42 Dude!
00:20:43 [chimes]
00:20:46 [chimes]
00:20:50 [chimes]
00:20:51 [chimes]
00:20:53 You in my club, man.
00:20:54 Sorry, dude!
00:20:55 Hey, you live here, man?
00:20:56 Oh, si, yes, yes.
00:20:58 Hey, come on, I demonstrate the house for you.
00:21:00 Hold this.
00:21:01 [chimes]
00:21:05 [chimes]
00:21:08 [chimes]
00:21:11 One more, then we go.
00:21:12 Okay.
00:21:13 [chimes]
00:21:16 Come on.
00:21:17 [music]
00:21:23 [music]
00:21:28 [music]
00:21:33 [music]
00:21:38 [music]
00:21:43 [music]
00:21:48 [music]
00:21:53 [music]
00:21:58 [music]
00:22:03 [music]
00:22:08 [music]
00:22:13 [music]
00:22:18 [music]
00:22:23 [music]
00:22:28 [music]
00:22:33 [music]
00:22:38 [music]
00:22:43 [music]
00:22:48 So the Roy sisters, they're on some funky African expedition.
00:22:52 They won't be back till Sunday.
00:22:55 So you boys got any plans?
00:22:56 Yeah, dude, like we want to raise--
00:22:58 No.
00:22:59 No plans.
00:23:00 Well, my house is your house.
00:23:05 Welcome to Cocoa Bay.
00:23:07 [yells]
00:23:09 [splash]
00:23:12 Brumito, you're scaring the sharks.
00:23:14 [splash]
00:23:17 I ain't doing it.
00:23:24 I said no way.
00:23:30 I'm it.
00:23:35 Milo, I'm from Brooklyn.
00:23:37 It's against my religion.
00:23:38 Hit him again.
00:23:39 Oh, I fucking hate you guys.
00:23:45 Come on, baby.
00:23:46 Anybody laughs.
00:23:47 [laughs]
00:23:49 Hey, Leanne, check out the roller derby rejects.
00:23:52 [laughs]
00:23:56 It's OK, man.
00:23:57 It's OK.
00:23:58 Peace and freedom, baby.
00:23:59 It's cool.
00:24:00 Come on. Come on.
00:24:01 We go. We show them how.
00:24:02 Take this.
00:24:03 Look, dude, what's the big secret with the race?
00:24:06 Shh.
00:24:07 I'm as very superstitious.
00:24:08 This Sunday is a Domingo de Mala Suerte.
00:24:10 Whoa.
00:24:14 Look at that Cadillac.
00:24:15 Dude.
00:24:24 [yells]
00:24:28 Sorry, guys.
00:24:29 [yells]
00:24:34 Hey, man, look at Jeez.
00:24:35 God.
00:24:36 God, I hate you.
00:24:37 Are you OK?
00:24:38 Yeah, I'm good.
00:24:39 OK?
00:24:40 [laughs]
00:24:45 What a pollution.
00:24:46 [laughs]
00:24:47 [laughs]
00:24:55 [laughs]
00:25:00 Sorry.
00:25:01 Hi.
00:25:07 My name's Jeez.
00:25:08 Want a slice?
00:25:09 All right, thanks.
00:25:11 You ever see a one-eared elephant?
00:25:13 How rude.
00:25:14 Bye.
00:25:23 Excuse me.
00:25:25 Excuse me.
00:25:27 Oh, shit.
00:25:29 Excuse me.
00:25:31 Whoa.
00:25:32 Yo.
00:25:33 Milo!
00:25:34 No, no, no, no!
00:25:40 Milo!
00:25:43 Milo!
00:25:44 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:25:45 [shouting]
00:25:46 Hold on.
00:25:47 Wait.
00:25:48 Wait.
00:25:49 Wait.
00:25:50 Wait.
00:25:52 [shouting]
00:25:57 Milo!
00:25:58 Milo!
00:25:59 [shouting]
00:26:02 [shouting]
00:26:05 [shouting]
00:26:07 [laughing]
00:26:09 I'm coming, Jeez.
00:26:10 I'm coming.
00:26:11 [shouting]
00:26:13 [shouting]
00:26:16 [shouting]
00:26:17 (yells)
00:26:19 (yells)
00:26:21 - Oh, watch out!
00:26:24 (yells)
00:26:26 - Hey, get out of here!
00:26:29 - Stay calm, stay calm, ninja!
00:26:32 Stay calm, stay!
00:26:33 (yells)
00:26:38 (yells)
00:26:45 (yells)
00:26:47 - Oh, shit!
00:26:52 I don't wanna play!
00:26:53 - Get out of the way!
00:26:56 (yells)
00:26:58 - Ultra, ultra, ultra, ultra, ultra, ultra, ultra!
00:27:08 (yells)
00:27:13 (yells)
00:27:15 - Milo!
00:27:18 - Are you okay?
00:27:31 Alright, see ya!
00:27:37 (upbeat music)
00:27:39 - We could sue you for this, asshole.
00:27:55 - Chase!
00:28:05 - Now listen to me.
00:28:07 Listen to me, you guys.
00:28:09 You can't let this big city karma get you down, okay?
00:28:12 You gotta be cool.
00:28:13 There's a lot of spanky here in Cocoa Bay.
00:28:15 - Spanky?
00:28:16 - Si, spank!
00:28:17 - You see that?
00:28:29 That is spanky.
00:28:30 (upbeat music)
00:28:33 - Hi, man, what's a bed race?
00:28:51 - Huh?
00:28:52 - A bed race?
00:28:53 - You never heard of a bed race?
00:28:57 A bed race is a public orgy
00:28:59 with the finest looking mamacitas in the world
00:29:02 bouncing on a bed with wheels on it
00:29:04 while it's racing down Main Street.
00:29:06 They do it every year for charity,
00:29:08 but the winners get some funky prizes and a big contract.
00:29:12 Listen, you guys.
00:29:23 I don't want this to get around,
00:29:26 but there are some heavy duty numbers on this bed race.
00:29:29 Last year's winners won 50 big ones.
00:29:32 - Too goddamn wicked.
00:29:33 With that, we bought some serious spanky.
00:29:36 - Hi, man, what kind of contract are we talking about here?
00:29:39 - Some big engineer award.
00:29:40 - Dude, 50 big poners.
00:29:42 Like that's some heavy denier, dude.
00:29:45 - A bed race, huh?
00:29:47 - Forget it, Milo.
00:29:48 Ever since you little permito,
00:29:50 you always doing something.
00:29:52 - Hi, man, show me where they race.
00:29:54 - Dude, chill out, Jaime.
00:29:55 We just want to see.
00:29:57 - No, no, no, no, no.
00:29:59 Hey, hey, what?
00:30:00 I'm gonna get myself a new...
00:30:02 - Give me that back.
00:30:03 What are you doing, jerk?
00:30:05 - You good?
00:30:08 - Jaime, who races the beds?
00:30:21 - Milo, you need sponsors, applications.
00:30:24 You gotta build a race bed.
00:30:26 You need girls.
00:30:28 This is heavy duty, man.
00:30:30 - Who races the beds?
00:30:32 - What do you think this is, a love-in, man?
00:30:43 I am talking Vietnam, USA.
00:30:46 I am talking about top financing for the teams
00:30:48 to hire professional track runners to pull the beds.
00:30:51 I am talking the Indy 500, baby.
00:30:54 - Hey, no problem.
00:30:55 Birdie here's a sprinter.
00:30:57 - Oh, Birdie's a sprinter, no problem.
00:30:59 Listen, you need a four-man team.
00:31:01 You need a girl pilot.
00:31:03 You need cheerleaders.
00:31:04 You need bikini girls.
00:31:05 And this is all in five days.
00:31:08 - Five days?
00:31:09 (speaking in foreign language)
00:31:16 - Jaime, you know about this?
00:31:18 (speaking in foreign language)
00:31:22 Are you crazy?
00:31:24 I knew you were up for something.
00:31:26 - Hey, what's with him?
00:31:27 What's he talking about?
00:31:28 - It's Cuban voodoo.
00:31:29 The race is on bad luck Sunday, this Sunday, May 14th.
00:31:32 - Hey, no voodoo, man.
00:31:33 No voodoo.
00:31:34 On May 14th, Jupiter is aligned with Mars
00:31:36 behind the second moon over the star of Cuba.
00:31:40 I am talking about the universal karma being in the toilet.
00:31:44 - Jaime, that's why we're here.
00:31:45 We have to compete.
00:31:46 At least we can use the winnings to repair the damages
00:31:48 from Bertie's explosion.
00:31:49 - Explosion?
00:31:50 - Not to mention we can use the publicity
00:31:52 from all the charity involvement
00:31:53 to clear the assault charges from Cheese.
00:31:55 - Assault?
00:31:56 - And the engineering contract which would clear
00:31:58 my suspension.
00:31:59 - Dude, we're busted.
00:32:00 We can't graduate without it.
00:32:01 - No, no, no, no, no, no, Milo, Milo, no.
00:32:04 I don't want a life in organized crime.
00:32:07 You gotta help us.
00:32:08 - Primito, let me tell you about the reality
00:32:12 of this situation.
00:32:14 We are talking about some heavy, heavy, heavy duty money
00:32:18 happening underground on these teams.
00:32:20 If you know what I'm talking about,
00:32:22 you've got a better chance of swimming from here
00:32:24 to Cuba with the sharks.
00:32:26 - Sex puppets.
00:32:28 - Yeah, sex puppets.
00:32:28 What, are you crazy or something?
00:32:30 - Yeah. - Yeah.
00:32:31 - Sex puppets.
00:32:33 - Five day survey says.
00:32:35 - Sex puppets!
00:32:36 (laughing)
00:32:40 - Primito, you're crazy.
00:32:42 The Beatles, they broke up on May 14th.
00:32:46 Primito, listen to me.
00:32:48 Richard Nixon, he was circumcised on May 14th.
00:32:51 All right, we'll commit suicide together.
00:32:53 I'm a sex puppet, you're a sex puppet.
00:32:56 We'll all be dead sex puppets.
00:32:57 Wait up.
00:32:58 - Sex puppets!
00:32:59 (cheering)
00:33:04 (upbeat music)
00:33:10 (upbeat music)
00:33:13 - Gee, baby, four years.
00:33:25 When have we ever let you down?
00:33:27 This race is the big one.
00:33:29 All my plans are falling into place.
00:33:32 After Sunday, I'll be the only mayoral candidate
00:33:34 worth talking about.
00:33:36 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's very nice.
00:33:38 Listen, why don't you jerk off on your own private time?
00:33:40 All I care about is my club's investment.
00:33:42 - Anybody care for a mimosa?
00:33:45 - What are the odds this year?
00:33:49 - Gino, work with me here.
00:33:51 Loosen up a little.
00:33:53 Increase your club's investments a couple of notches.
00:33:58 I can assure you it'll be rewarding
00:33:59 for your financial future.
00:34:02 - What the fuck are you talking about now?
00:34:05 - When's the last time our presiding mayor
00:34:07 promoted a legalization bill for gambling in Cocoa Bay?
00:34:10 Now, I think my election might favor
00:34:12 your club's roll of the dice.
00:34:14 Think of it, your own place.
00:34:17 Carlotti's Casino.
00:34:18 Capisce?
00:34:20 I'll tell you what, stinkler.
00:34:25 We'll put our money where your big mouth is, okay?
00:34:28 Just make sure that your boys hit the finish line first,
00:34:31 'cause numbers is numbers, and ours had better come up.
00:34:34 You capisce?
00:34:35 (dramatic music)
00:34:38 I love this fucking country.
00:34:41 Where else can a guy like me clean up
00:34:42 on racing broads instead of horses, huh?
00:34:44 (laughing)
00:34:46 Come on, guys, let's get out of here.
00:34:49 (dramatic music)
00:34:52, (dramatic music)
00:34:57 (dramatic music)
00:35:00 (dramatic music)
00:35:02 (metal clanging)
00:35:05 (water rushing)
00:35:08 (water rushing)
00:35:10 (water rushing)
00:35:39 Can I help you?
00:35:41 - Uh, nice dimensions.
00:35:43 How fast is she?
00:35:46 - What is it you want?
00:35:47 - Uh, we're here to see some Herman Stinker guy.
00:35:53 - The name's Stinkler, asshole,
00:35:56 and I'm sure you don't have an appointment.
00:36:00 - Maynard!
00:36:02 - Now is that any way to treat old friends?
00:36:08 - Maynard, do you know these people?
00:36:11 - No, I mean, yeah, but not socially.
00:36:14 - Please, we swim into each other
00:36:17 all the time back at the club.
00:36:19 You must be Herman Stinkler,
00:36:21 this year's bed race coordinator?
00:36:22 - Yes, what's your business here?
00:36:23 I'm very busy.
00:36:25 - Yo, we wanna be in a bed race.
00:36:26 Give 'em that, Milo.
00:36:29 - You've gotta be kidding.
00:36:30 They're just tourists.
00:36:32 - Let me slam bone this goober.
00:36:34 - It's absolutely impossible.
00:36:36 - Why?
00:36:37 - You're too late.
00:36:38 You're not Cocoa Bay residents, you don't have a sponsor,
00:36:41 and you're outta your league.
00:36:43 - Hey, we got a track star and an engineer, dick cheese.
00:36:46 - You're still not in.
00:36:48 Leave or I'll have the two of you thrown into jail
00:36:50 at the snap of my fingers, or some local zoo.
00:36:53 - No problem.
00:36:54 We'll just go straight to the bed race committee
00:36:56 and slam them an application.
00:36:58 (laughing)
00:37:00 - I'm the chairman.
00:37:04 Hasta la vista.
00:37:05 - Aloha.
00:37:08 - Get him!
00:37:09 - Mayorks, Mayorks!
00:37:12 - I'm a Mayork!
00:37:13 - What's happening?
00:37:19 - Shameless!
00:37:20 - Mayorks!
00:37:23 - This isn't funny!
00:37:24 - Mayorks!
00:37:25 You stupid, horrible!
00:37:27 Get me outta here!
00:37:29 You stupid, old quitter!
00:37:33 (upbeat music)
00:37:35 (cheering)
00:37:42 - Whoa, whoa!
00:37:45 Whoa!
00:37:50 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:37:52 - Jeez!
00:37:54 (laughing)
00:38:01 (upbeat music)
00:38:04 - All right, Milo.
00:38:11 I'll get a beer.
00:38:12 - Stop!
00:38:13 (whistle blowing)
00:38:18 (traffic humming)
00:38:21 - Now, this should make you happy.
00:38:43 It's 10% more than last year's scholarships.
00:38:48 (laughing)
00:38:49 - This guy cracks me up.
00:38:51 Scholarships.
00:38:53 We'll accept this as a non-refundable down payment.
00:38:55 Tell Stinkula it's double scholarships this year, chump.
00:38:58 (laughing)
00:39:00 - Wait a minute.
00:39:01 Well, we'll just get ourselves another team then.
00:39:08 - We're the fastest in the state, asswipe.
00:39:16 - All right.
00:39:17 All right, but Mr. Stinkler is not gonna like this.
00:39:22 - Hey, genius, what hunky ass name
00:39:24 are you dissing us with this year, man?
00:39:28 - Now, this is pure brilliancy on my part.
00:39:33 The bed soars.
00:39:34 Get it?
00:39:36 The bed soars.
00:39:39 With an A!
00:39:41 - Sucker!
00:39:45 - Get a clue sometime.
00:39:46 (engine rumbling)
00:39:54 (laughing)
00:40:13 - Go get her, Milo.
00:40:14 Go get her, Milo.
00:40:17 Milo.
00:40:21 Go, go!
00:40:23 Get her!
00:40:35 God!
00:40:40 (clicking)
00:40:42 - Hi, maybe I could help.
00:40:55 I've got a BS in engineering.
00:40:57 - A BS?
00:41:00 Now I've heard them all.
00:41:02 - Sure looks like you know what you're doing.
00:41:06 - Yeah?
00:41:08 Looks like you don't.
00:41:11 - If you ask me--
00:41:12 - Look, I didn't ask you.
00:41:13 So why don't you just take your BS,
00:41:14 trade it in for an MS,
00:41:16 and shove it up your little PhD.
00:41:18 Goodbye.
00:41:19 - No problem.
00:41:20 In case you didn't notice,
00:41:23 your compression valve release is really plugged up.
00:41:25 So is the one in the carburetor.
00:41:27 See ya.
00:41:28 - Hey!
00:41:35 Hey, wait!
00:41:36 Hey!
00:41:37 Look, I'm sorry.
00:41:43 Maybe I could use a second opinion.
00:41:48 (laughing)
00:42:04 - Hey, Marine Stadium, Friday morning, okay?
00:42:07 - Fine, how am I gonna find you?
00:42:08 - Just look for blue lightning at the north dock strip.
00:42:11 Oh, thanks, Doctor.
00:42:13 Clean yourself up.
00:42:18 - I make house calls too, you know.
00:42:24 - Carl, Carl!
00:42:30 - You're all dirty!
00:42:33 (laughing)
00:42:35 - Well, hell, I'd be as happy as a pig in shit
00:42:49 to sponsor you boys.
00:42:50 - Yes!
00:42:51 - But there's one thing I gotta know.
00:42:53 Who's your four horsemen?
00:42:55 - Ha ha, get this, mate, we all.
00:42:58 (laughing)
00:42:59 - Jaime, you're my best friend in the whole world.
00:43:01 Now, you know that.
00:43:02 - No, and I know you boys don't stand a chance
00:43:04 against the sprinters them other teams is bringing in.
00:43:06 - Have a plan?
00:43:07 - This is my cousin, the engineer.
00:43:09 - Check it out, like, we're sporting the manpower,
00:43:11 but we need some primo time,
00:43:13 along with your toolage to like pound it all together.
00:43:16 - And a little bank for minor expenses, huh?
00:43:20 - I must be shit-eating crazy.
00:43:22 It's like entering you boys in the Olympics.
00:43:25 Oh, all right, the junkyard's around the back.
00:43:28 You'll find a few spare bed frames.
00:43:32 - Son, you ever hear of self-control?
00:43:35 - Absa-fucking-lutely.
00:43:37 - Peace, baby!
00:43:38 You got three days, you know.
00:43:41 That plantio's best become a race bed sometime this year.
00:43:45 (laughing)
00:43:56 (tires screeching)
00:43:59 - I'm going in there to get a racing permit from the mayor.
00:44:08 I want you guys to shake some bake
00:44:10 and make things happen, all right?
00:44:12 We are gonna do this, baby!
00:44:13 - Yeah!
00:44:14 - All right, how do I look, primo?
00:44:15 - You're looking buff, babe.
00:44:16 - All right.
00:44:17 (laughing)
00:44:21 (banging)
00:44:24 (upbeat music)
00:44:27 ♪ Wake up in the city
00:44:46 ♪ Another busy day
00:44:49 ♪ People in a hurry
00:44:54 ♪ Got no time to play
00:44:57 ♪ There's a place in Florida
00:45:02 ♪ You can't get away
00:45:05 ♪ Leave it all behind you now
00:45:11 ♪ Down in Cocoa Bay
00:45:14 ♪ Cocoa Bay
00:45:16 ♪ Ah
00:45:22 ♪ Cocoa Bay
00:45:24 ♪ Ah
00:45:26 ♪ Ah
00:45:29 ♪ See them on the beaches
00:45:35 ♪ When you walk to me
00:45:38 ♪ Watch them as they go by
00:45:43 ♪ In the summer heat
00:45:46 ♪ Wheels on their trusses
00:45:51 ♪ Heads out in the street
00:45:55 ♪ Everything you need is here
00:46:00 ♪ Between the sheets
00:46:03 ♪ Cocoa Bay
00:46:05 ♪ Ah
00:46:07 ♪ Ah
00:46:09 ♪ Ah
00:46:11 ♪ Cocoa Bay
00:46:13 ♪ Ah
00:46:15 ♪ Ah
00:46:17 ♪ Ah
00:46:20 ♪ Late time in the evening
00:46:24 ♪ When the sun goes down
00:46:28 ♪ The night is filled
00:46:31 ♪ With the air and sound
00:46:36 ♪ People have their good times
00:46:40 ♪ Dancing on the street
00:46:44 ♪ It can happen to you too
00:46:48 ♪ If you come with me
00:46:52 ♪ To Cocoa Bay
00:46:54 (crowd cheering)
00:46:57 ♪ Cocoa Bay
00:47:02 - So, uh, Stinkler, what's the news?
00:47:18 - The bikini contest is one third each team's score.
00:47:21 I went ahead and donated some weekend cruises
00:47:23 for three of the four judges.
00:47:26 Insurance.
00:47:27 - Keep talking to me.
00:47:28 - Maynard's locating the same race runners.
00:47:30 The race bed's due to be finished tomorrow afternoon.
00:47:33 We're right on schedule.
00:47:34 - Yeah, well, that's sweet.
00:47:35 Real sweet.
00:47:36 Except I got a problem.
00:47:38 Some pigeon tells me today that there's a new team in town.
00:47:41 Some hippie guy's been asking questions down in city hall.
00:47:44 - Oh, God damn it, Stinkler, I hate bird shit.
00:47:48 - Just some punk kids.
00:47:51 They're not even registered to compete.
00:47:54 - They best not.
00:47:55 'Cause I can't bet on a race
00:47:57 if I don't know all the horses in the lineup.
00:47:59 You know what I mean?
00:48:00 Mayor.
00:48:01 Would you like a little linguine, Mayor?
00:48:05 - No, thank you.
00:48:08 I've got a meeting to attend to.
00:48:12 - Stinkler.
00:48:14 You ever see a dame with coconuts like these?
00:48:17 - No.
00:48:20 - I didn't think so.
00:48:22 - Okay, baby.
00:48:25 Ready to play Moses in the burning bush?
00:48:28 Vinnie.
00:48:29 Back to your linguine.
00:48:31 Mange.
00:48:32 (upbeat music)
00:48:37 (upbeat music)
00:48:40 ♪ Look behind this wall of stone
00:48:51 ♪ Someone's down below
00:48:55 ♪ Waiting on the ground
00:48:57 - You got a dick with a floating hood in it.
00:48:59 (laughing)
00:49:02 - Over there, over there.
00:49:04 ♪ First she knocks me out
00:49:07 ♪ Then brings me back around
00:49:11 ♪ Everything she does
00:49:15 ♪ Everything she does
00:49:18 ♪ Everything she does
00:49:21 ♪ Gets me
00:49:23 (upbeat music)
00:49:26 ♪ Look behind this wall of glass
00:49:32 ♪ The future and the past
00:49:35 ♪ I'm locked in a room of grass
00:49:39 ♪ I'm locked down
00:49:42 ♪ The flashing struts of light
00:49:45 ♪ I'm burning her tongue
00:49:48 ♪ But I still can't see her face
00:49:52 ♪ She keeps me in the dark
00:49:56 ♪ She's tearing me apart
00:49:59 ♪ 'Cause everything she does
00:50:02 ♪ Everything she does
00:50:05 ♪ Everything she does
00:50:08 ♪ Gets me
00:50:09 (laughing)
00:50:11 - I'm not in the right place, am I?
00:50:18 - You got that right, asswipe.
00:50:20 - I don't suppose there's some wild microscopic chance
00:50:22 I could just say hello to her?
00:50:24 - Not in your wildest wet dreams.
00:50:27 - Let me guess, you're a boyfriend wannabe.
00:50:29 - So am I.
00:50:31 - Chuck!
00:50:33 Pleased to meet ya.
00:50:35 (punching)
00:50:37 I'm fine, her and the kids.
00:50:44 Jeez!
00:50:49 Milo!
00:50:51 (punching)
00:50:53 Milo!
00:50:57 What a mess.
00:51:00 (groaning)
00:51:03 - I want the deck scrubbed top to bottom
00:51:24 for my interview on Sunday.
00:51:25 Spotless.
00:51:27 - Of course.
00:51:28 I've secured Santana's best sprinters.
00:51:30 You can place your bets.
00:51:33 - Maynard, I can't place our bets
00:51:35 because Gino hasn't come up with the funding.
00:51:38 He thinks your yacht club punk friends
00:51:40 may find some way in.
00:51:42 Now, unless you want to fish for a living,
00:51:46 I suggest you work with your sweetheart
00:51:49 and find out what these sex puppets
00:51:51 and their engineer are up to.
00:51:53 - Uncle Herman?
00:51:58 I need another envelope for the runners.
00:52:01 - Another envelope?
00:52:03 As in more money?
00:52:04 How much?
00:52:08 - Twice as much.
00:52:09 - Twice?
00:52:10 You putz!
00:52:11 You couldn't negotiate an ice cube from an Eskimo.
00:52:15 Fine.
00:52:15 I was going to give you and Leanne
00:52:19 a surprise victory cruise after the race.
00:52:21 That should cover the costs.
00:52:24 (engine rumbling)
00:52:27 (engine rumbling)
00:52:29 - Oh, oh, here comes trouble.
00:52:56 (sighing)
00:52:58 I make house calls too, you know.
00:53:10 Except I charge extra for mansions.
00:53:13 (laughing)
00:53:16 Oh, Milo, I'm so sorry.
00:53:25 - Water sports, huh?
00:53:27 That's a little bit kinky there if you ask me, Ace.
00:53:30 - He's a very jealous ex-boyfriend.
00:53:32 - Oh, which one?
00:53:34 - Hey, I hear you're looking for a pilot for your team.
00:53:38 I've got a little experience.
00:53:40 These are pretty good references, would you say?
00:53:42 - No, no, no, no, no.
00:53:44 Your reference is I don't need, please.
00:53:47 You're hired.
00:53:48 - Yes.
00:53:50 Now you just try to get some rest, okay?
00:53:53 (upbeat music)
00:53:56 - I remember tuning that record on dial
00:54:07 and hearing the voice say, "Come on, save us some time."
00:54:12 - What a great time.
00:54:15 - Hey, look who I found.
00:54:20 (upbeat music)
00:54:22 ♪ I can't see ♪
00:54:29 ♪ 'Cause the air is so exciting ♪
00:54:34 ♪ I can't touch ♪
00:54:37 ♪ 'Cause you're mine ♪
00:54:40 (group chattering)
00:54:42 - Is this a sex puppet audition?
00:54:59 Do you know what time they begin?
00:55:02 Hey, where do we sign up?
00:55:05 (group laughing)
00:55:09 (group chattering)
00:55:12 - Listen up, listen up, guys.
00:55:18 Birdie.
00:55:18 Sign up, G.
00:55:21 Listen to me, all right?
00:55:22 Cheese.
00:55:24 Joe.
00:55:25 Set up the disco room video camera.
00:55:27 Lights, stereo.
00:55:28 - I'm cheese.
00:55:28 - Right, let's go.
00:55:29 (group chattering)
00:55:32 - Ladies, please accept our sincere apologies
00:55:39 for keeping all of you waiting.
00:55:41 Mr. Hendricks, would you mind escorting our guests
00:55:44 to the pool where they may all lounge?
00:55:47 - Ooh, how is he?
00:55:48 Yes, follow me, girl.
00:55:49 Follow me.
00:55:50 Dios mio.
00:55:51 (group laughing)
00:55:53 - Anybody here for anything to drink,
00:55:57 feel free to ask G.
00:55:59 He's the colossus.
00:56:00 (group chattering)
00:56:03 - What's the matter with you?
00:56:04 - I'm your flow, baby.
00:56:06 - Tell us about it.
00:56:06 - What are you wearing?
00:56:07 - What are you wearing?
00:56:08 - What is it?
00:56:09 - That's me on a really bad trip.
00:56:11 That's my house.
00:56:12 Today, now, I figured you'd like it, so I just.
00:56:16 (upbeat music)
00:56:19 (man screaming)
00:56:31 - I don't know what to do.
00:56:33 (group chattering)
00:56:36 - You know, I shouldn't even have come over here last night.
00:56:39 I mean, I don't even know who you are.
00:56:41 Here I go and think this guy seems nice,
00:56:43 he's kind of smart.
00:56:44 You know, maybe he's worth my time,
00:56:46 not just another jerk, you know?
00:56:47 - I'm not a jerk.
00:56:48 I mean, I am, but I'm not really.
00:56:52 - Why is it every time I see you,
00:56:53 you've got egg all over your face?
00:56:55 - I don't know, you make me nervous.
00:56:59 - I make you nervous?
00:57:00 You, Mr. Joe Cool Millionaire?
00:57:03 Why?
00:57:04 - Well, because I, well, I think,
00:57:07 let me show you my bed.
00:57:09 (man grunting)
00:57:09 I mean, our bed.
00:57:11 (man grunting)
00:57:11 No, I mean the race bed.
00:57:13 Please.
00:57:15 - Well, all right.
00:57:16 Don't mess with me.
00:57:21 (upbeat music)
00:57:33 (man grunting)
00:57:35 (people chattering)
00:57:40 - Yes, yes.
00:58:00 Oh, I like that.
00:58:01 I like that.
00:58:03 Yes, please, go ahead, go ahead.
00:58:04 Whoa!
00:58:05 Oh, boy.
00:58:07 (people laughing)
00:58:10 (upbeat music)
00:58:13 (people chattering)
00:58:16 (water splashing)
00:58:30 (people chattering)
00:58:37 - Guys, this is Nikki.
00:58:40 She's going to do her stuff for you.
00:58:42 - Quiet, quiet.
00:58:43 (man screaming)
00:58:48 - Okay, boys, hands off your nightstick.
00:58:51 You're busted.
00:58:53 - This is Maria.
00:58:54 - Hi.
00:58:54 - This is Groovy Suzy.
00:58:56 - Hi.
00:58:57 - This is Inga.
00:58:58 This is Amanda.
00:59:01 These are, I mean, this is Cynthia, Elizabeth.
00:59:05 - Chairs, gentlemen.
00:59:06 I would be the best sex puppet that you ever had.
00:59:09 - So, you want me to be your sex puppet?
00:59:12 - Sex puppet?
00:59:15 - Oh, oui, like for sure.
00:59:17 And I will teach you the true meaning of farfig nougat.
00:59:21 - 'Cause I'm your sex puppet, no slave.
00:59:24 - I'm feeling hot, hot, hot.
00:59:26 Totally awesome, dude.
00:59:28 Why don't you get on your knees and beg, boys?
00:59:32 - I'm taking you in for life.
00:59:34 So spread 'em.
00:59:35 And let's get ready for the strip search.
00:59:38 (all shouting)
00:59:41 - Guys, I don't know who she is.
00:59:42 - What?
00:59:44 - There you are.
00:59:45 Honey, darling, stunt boy.
00:59:47 Come to be a letter.
00:59:49 - No!
00:59:50 - I said you passion princess.
00:59:52 Sex puppet, force me to behave.
00:59:55 (all laughing)
00:59:58 (upbeat music)
01:00:01 (all laughing)
01:00:03 (upbeat music)
01:00:06 (all laughing)
01:00:09 (upbeat music)
01:00:11 (all laughing)
01:00:14 (upbeat music)
01:00:17 (all laughing)
01:00:20 (upbeat music)
01:00:23 (all laughing)
01:00:25 (upbeat music)
01:00:28 (all laughing)
01:00:38 (upbeat music)
01:00:44 (all laughing)
01:00:47 (upbeat music)
01:01:00 (all laughing)
01:01:06 (upbeat music)
01:01:09 (all laughing)
01:01:11 (all laughing)
01:01:22 (upbeat music)
01:01:29 (all laughing)
01:01:32 (upbeat music)
01:01:34 - What kind of things you catching?
01:01:53 - I've been catching cabera last night.
01:01:55 Around 40 and 70 pound fish.
01:01:57 - That's my baby?
01:02:00 - This is it.
01:02:01 This is state of the art.
01:02:03 High tech, it's ultra light.
01:02:04 Should weigh half of that
01:02:07 the other competitors race beds.
01:02:10 Practically bulletproof too.
01:02:11 Kevlar.
01:02:12 - You've done a real good job.
01:02:16 - Yeah, you should smoke them with this.
01:02:18 - All right.
01:02:19 - All right, go out and get them.
01:02:20 (car engine roaring)
01:02:23 - Well, what do you think?
01:02:34 - Aluminum?
01:02:35 - It's the best I could afford on our budget.
01:02:38 - Your budget?
01:02:39 Oh, come on, give me a break.
01:02:41 50 bucks says you want a floor on the Trump Tower.
01:02:44 You built this from scraps?
01:02:49 - Well, there's a lot I don't know about you either.
01:02:52 - Oh, really?
01:02:53 - Well, like your racing.
01:02:55 How a woman, especially a young woman,
01:02:57 especially a young, very attractive woman
01:02:59 is the only female hydroplane racer I've ever heard of.
01:03:03 - Chauvinist.
01:03:04 - Realist.
01:03:05 Does that vet belong to you
01:03:07 or your past, present, and future boyfriends?
01:03:10 - Are you implying--
01:03:11 - No, no.
01:03:12 Just asking.
01:03:13 - Okay.
01:03:15 (car engine roaring)
01:03:18 - A little stiff.
01:03:28 You ever hear of Jeff Mondale?
01:03:31 - Yeah, Indy 500 champ.
01:03:33 Top of the circuit.
01:03:35 He was in that fatal crash last year.
01:03:36 - Yeah.
01:03:37 We were sort of related.
01:03:39 - I'm sorry, I--
01:03:43 - You wake up in the morning smelling gasoline
01:03:45 with your eggs and bacon.
01:03:46 It's kind of hard to get out of your system.
01:03:47 Besides, women's response times are quicker.
01:03:50 - Chauvinist.
01:03:51 - Realist.
01:03:52 So why are you entering this race anyway?
01:03:54 - Political reasons.
01:03:56 - Okay.
01:03:58 So how fast are your runners, mystery man?
01:04:00 - Well, that's sort of this little problem.
01:04:03 - Humor me.
01:04:04 - Four man average of 15.2 seconds.
01:04:07 - It's only a hundred yard race.
01:04:09 The other teams are at least in the 11s.
01:04:11 - Hell, Stinkler's team even hired professional sprinters.
01:04:14 - You know Stinkler.
01:04:15 - Yeah, well, we've had our little run-ins.
01:04:18 He doesn't think a tropical paradise
01:04:20 like Cocoa Bay deserves our elements.
01:04:22 - You've definitely got elements.
01:04:23 - So Mr. Hotshot, how are you gonna make
01:04:25 a 15.2 beat Stinkler's 10 flat?
01:04:28 - Well, the way I see it is my bed's mechanical design
01:04:32 has to somehow reduce our average sprint ratio to match his.
01:04:36 - You don't know, do you?
01:04:40 - Of course I do.
01:04:42 I do, of course.
01:04:43 - No, you don't.
01:04:50 So what's the use of even entering?
01:04:52 I mean, unless you guys turn into Carl Lewis
01:04:53 in the next 24 hours, you're not gonna make it.
01:04:56 And that bed just ain't gonna cut it.
01:04:58 - Of course, I got it.
01:05:00 I know how we're gonna do it.
01:05:02 I mean, I always knew how I was gonna do it,
01:05:03 but now I know how I'm gonna do it.
01:05:04 I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
01:05:06 I know how I'm gonna do it.
01:05:07 I know what I'm gonna do.
01:05:09 I know how I'm gonna do it.
01:05:10 I know how I'm gonna do it.
01:05:11 I know, I know how I'm gonna do it.
01:05:14 Yes!
01:05:14 - Looks like they're all gone.
01:05:23 Are we going inside?
01:05:38 - No, we're going to clean the pool.
01:05:39 - Of course we're going inside.
01:05:41 - But that's breaking and entering.
01:05:42 - Well, so is a lot of other things you do.
01:05:45 What's this?
01:05:53 - They're notes.
01:05:54 All the interviews they had today.
01:05:56 Names, phone numbers, and the last
01:05:59 official entry permit for the race.
01:06:02 (laughing)
01:06:05 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:07 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:09 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:12 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:14 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:16 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:19 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:21 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:23 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:26 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:28 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:31 - I'm gonna go get my phone.
01:06:34 - May?
01:06:35 May, you nerd.
01:06:38 - Yes, yes, yours are the best.
01:06:40 (May moaning)
01:06:42 - What's that?
01:06:45 Maynee, it sounds like a Doberman.
01:06:48 You better go check that out.
01:06:50 - You go check it out.
01:06:51 - Me?
01:06:52 - Yeah, I gotta finish up here.
01:06:54 (May moaning)
01:07:04 - Fabulous pair of gams.
01:07:06 That's gotta be Brigitte.
01:07:08 No visible bush.
01:07:09 Possible conehead?
01:07:13 What, a slam hound?
01:07:15 (May moaning)
01:07:21 (May moaning)
01:07:23 (group laughing)
01:07:39 - Maynee, Maynee!
01:07:41 Maynee!
01:07:44 Maynee!
01:07:45 Maynee!
01:07:51 Maynee, look what I got!
01:07:53 In the pool!
01:07:57 (May screaming)
01:08:01 Maynee!
01:08:05 Maynee!
01:08:07 Maynee!
01:08:09 Maynee!
01:08:11 Maynee!
01:08:13 - Wait for me!
01:08:16 (May screaming)
01:08:20 (door opening)
01:08:22 - Maynard, I got the keys!
01:08:28 - Shit.
01:08:29 (May screaming)
01:08:32 ♪ I'm the man, time to take this, you bastard ♪
01:08:45 (engine revving)
01:08:48 - It's really quite basic.
01:08:59 What I've done is I've integrated a series
01:09:00 of frictional increments,
01:09:02 which through a selection gradient,
01:09:03 allows for an increase in acceleration
01:09:05 in accordance with the juxtaposition
01:09:06 of a selected torque radii.
01:09:09 - He's installed a gear system like one
01:09:13 on a 10-speed bike.
01:09:14 I shift the gears, we go faster.
01:09:16 - Jaime, I've got them beat.
01:09:17 This is the best thing I've ever designed.
01:09:19 I should be in the Bedridge Hall of Fame.
01:09:20 You know, we're gonna re-enroll on the Dean's List.
01:09:22 Maybe I should get a patent.
01:09:25 - Primito, I...
01:09:27 - What?
01:09:29 - I...
01:09:33 - Jaime, what's wrong?
01:09:35 - Nothing, nothing.
01:09:36 He's beautiful, he's beautiful.
01:09:38 - Let's give it a test run.
01:09:39 - Jesus, it's okay.
01:09:40 - It's okay, Jojo can fill in for now.
01:09:42 Come on, I'm dying to see this baby fly.
01:09:44 - I've been working on it for hours, guys.
01:09:46 - Excuse me, we've been working on it for hours.
01:09:49 - All right, let's go, come on.
01:09:51 Ready, set, go!
01:09:57 (upbeat music)
01:10:02 (fire crackling)
01:10:05 - Shit!
01:10:16 Come on!
01:10:19 Shit!
01:10:23 Jeez!
01:10:29 (upbeat music)
01:10:32 (groaning)
01:10:37 - You okay, man?
01:10:38 - Yeah, I'm all right.
01:10:40 It's more than I can say for that piece of junk.
01:10:42 - I can't believe it, it was perfect.
01:10:44 I built it exactly to my specs in the blueprints.
01:10:46 What did you do to my shifter?
01:10:47 - What did I do?
01:10:49 Hey, I'm lucky this scrap bucket didn't kill me.
01:10:51 - Scrap bucket?
01:10:52 You're talking about one of my inventions.
01:10:53 - Inventions?
01:10:55 Hey, you need to go back to school, Sonny,
01:10:56 'cause you'd make a better garbage collector.
01:10:59 - Well, maybe you should just go and...
01:11:01 Shit!
01:11:02 - It doesn't matter, Primo.
01:11:05 - It doesn't matter, Jaime, the race is tomorrow.
01:11:08 - We're not in the race.
01:11:09 - What? - What?
01:11:11 - The mayor, he was out of town at some convention.
01:11:14 I got the last entry permit,
01:11:15 and the only other person who could approve it is Stinkler.
01:11:18 The secretary said she would call me
01:11:21 when she got in touch with the mayor, but she never called.
01:11:24 I'm sorry, Primo.
01:11:27 (speaking in foreign language)
01:11:29 - We have to compete, Jaime.
01:11:31 I mean, school, graduation, that's our whole trip.
01:11:34 Man, I was just one royal jerk
01:11:36 to the coolest babe I've ever met.
01:11:38 - Stinkler's got his hogtied and branded.
01:11:40 - Dude, we're busted.
01:11:43 It's over.
01:11:43 - You could still apologize to the little lady.
01:11:47 - No way, she hates my guts, my rich guts.
01:11:50 Look, I'm gonna interest in this race
01:11:54 if I have to illegally drag this heap
01:11:55 against all those other competitors.
01:11:57 You guys go home, I got work to do.
01:11:59 - Primo, you can't fight the cosmic forces.
01:12:03 (speaking in foreign language)
01:12:07 - I'm sorry.
01:12:19 - Do you mean they took everything?
01:12:22 - Deskopelman.
01:12:25 - What?
01:12:26 - I'm sorry in Spanish.
01:12:28 - You're sorry in any language.
01:12:29 - The race permit, the girl's phone numbers, the videotape.
01:12:35 I'm sorry.
01:12:37 - Well, boys, we're definitely out of it now.
01:12:42 - Dude, there goes my career as a demolition.
01:12:45 - I'm really fucking sorry.
01:12:52 - Listen to us, Jaime.
01:12:53 We sound like a bunch of birds the night before turkey day.
01:12:57 Hot damn, Jaime, this is the night before the race.
01:13:00 (laughing)
01:13:05 (upbeat music)
01:13:19 (crowd cheering)
01:13:22 (upbeat music)
01:13:25 (crowd cheering)
01:13:27 (upbeat music)
01:13:30 (crowd cheering)
01:13:33 (upbeat music)
01:13:35 (crowd cheering)
01:13:38 (upbeat music)
01:13:41 (crowd cheering)
01:13:43 (upbeat music)
01:13:46 ♪ Drugs get me deep, my mouth is dry ♪
01:14:07 ♪ Darkness settles on the sky ♪
01:14:10 ♪ Come on baby, now wet your lips ♪
01:14:13 ♪ Take a walk down the strip to the water ♪
01:14:17 ♪ Yeah, the water in Harlem ♪
01:14:21 ♪ The water in Harlem ♪
01:14:24 ♪ The water in Harlem ♪
01:14:27 ♪ The water in Harlem ♪
01:14:32 ♪ The water in Harlem's the kind of place ♪
01:14:39 ♪ Where people get lost without a trace ♪
01:14:42 ♪ This is the first time that you feel ♪
01:14:45 ♪ You got a feeling inside ♪
01:14:49 (upbeat music)
01:14:51 (upbeat music)
01:14:54 (upbeat music)
01:14:57 (upbeat music)
01:14:59 (shouting)
01:15:20 (upbeat music)
01:15:23 (upbeat music)
01:15:26 - Hi.
01:15:50 Can a lady get a drink around here?
01:15:52 - Uh, not if she doesn't mind the company.
01:15:57 - Oh, I've seen rougher types.
01:15:58 (groaning)
01:16:01 - My, my, my, what a small, small world.
01:16:14 - So's your dick.
01:16:16 (laughing)
01:16:19 - Nice dressage there, lady.
01:16:21 - You're styling.
01:16:23 - It's an antique, asshole.
01:16:25 - I don't suppose you know how an $80,000 yacht
01:16:28 got moose urine in it, do you?
01:16:31 - Beats me.
01:16:32 (laughing)
01:16:34 - Bartender, two wine coolers, please.
01:16:36 (shouting)
01:16:39 Actually, make mine a light beer.
01:16:42 (shouting)
01:16:45 - No, no, no, no, no, Manny, this round's on me.
01:16:48 Barty, could I please have two juices on the rocks,
01:16:50 easy on the vinegar?
01:16:52 (laughing)
01:16:54 - We won't be seeing you guys tomorrow.
01:16:57 - Yes, I was actually beginning to look forward
01:16:59 to mopping up the street with you all.
01:17:01 - Come on, Manny, that's a lot of fun.
01:17:04 - Ta-ta, ladies.
01:17:06 (laughing)
01:17:07 - What are you talking to those two for?
01:17:08 - Don't tell my man where you'll be, man.
01:17:10 - I'm just nursing my drink here, man.
01:17:11 I've gotta drink it before it clots.
01:17:12 (laughing)
01:17:15 (upbeat music)
01:17:18 ♪ Well you've been singing all the local bars ♪
01:17:30 ♪ You've been singing with different women ♪
01:17:32 ♪ Right and right ♪
01:17:33 - So you were saying?
01:17:34 - Look, JP, about the other day, I'm--
01:17:37 - Oh, shit, Bruce, what do you want?
01:17:39 - Just a little unfinished business, babe.
01:17:41 I'm bad at punk.
01:17:44 - Well, I don't suppose that maybe
01:17:45 there's some wild microscopic chance
01:17:47 I could finish my drink with the ladies?
01:17:49 - Not in the program, asshole.
01:17:51 - Well, maybe how about a shot of tequila?
01:17:55 - Yes!
01:17:55 (cheering)
01:17:58 (laughing)
01:18:00 (yelling)
01:18:03 ♪ And you don't care who's paying ♪
01:18:05 ♪ Now it's up for the state ♪
01:18:07 ♪ Oh, drop of the shirt ♪
01:18:09 ♪ Yeah, the world is gonna run soft ♪
01:18:11 (yelling)
01:18:14 - See ya!
01:18:15 (yelling)
01:18:17 (whistle blowing)
01:18:28 (yelling)
01:18:30 (barking)
01:18:43 (whistling)
01:18:46 ♪ Everyone's got to have freedom ♪
01:18:59 ♪ Everyone ought to feel good ♪
01:19:07 ♪ Living in this land ♪
01:19:11 ♪ We got each other to believe in ♪
01:19:16 ♪ We churn out one another ♪
01:19:20 ♪ We're our sisters and brothers ♪
01:19:25 ♪ Don't know we all got a problem ♪
01:19:29 - With a unique herbal scent that cleans and refreshes.
01:19:33 ♪ They didn't have a mind to ♪
01:19:40 ♪ I'll hurry in the way of life ♪
01:19:43 ♪ Ain't gonna stop ♪
01:19:45 (belching)
01:19:47 - Look what I found.
01:19:53 Oh, geez!
01:19:54 (laughing)
01:19:56 I'm a chipmunk of love.
01:19:58 Yowza!
01:20:02 ♪ Let's stay up till dawn ♪
01:20:05 ♪ For we know ♪
01:20:06 (laughing)
01:20:09 - You're definitely the strangest guy I've ever met.
01:20:13 - Oh, really?
01:20:13 Well, thank you.
01:20:14 I think you've got a surf to wet your billy.
01:20:16 - Oh!
01:20:17 (laughing)
01:20:19 - You know, I am sort of new at this.
01:20:25 (chimes tinkling)
01:20:39 - Hello?
01:20:39 Anybody home?
01:20:42 Hello?
01:20:48 Who are you?
01:20:56 Who am I?
01:21:01 - You Java.
01:21:04 Meet She.
01:21:05 (train horn blaring)
01:21:09 (screaming)
01:21:11 - Here.
01:21:16 My kind of woman.
01:21:23 (belching)
01:21:37 - I think she's a good fixer.
01:21:40 - Do it like, where's everybody?
01:21:48 - That's sleeping beauty.
01:21:49 - Java!
01:21:50 - Oh, shit!
01:21:52 The blueprint!
01:21:53 No, geez!
01:21:56 No, no, move, move, move!
01:21:58 Geez!
01:21:58 Move!
01:22:00 No, the road!
01:22:01 I work!
01:22:02 Geez, you big, fat, hairy butthole!
01:22:05 Geez?
01:22:07 Genius?
01:22:08 You're an absolute genius!
01:22:10 I love you!
01:22:11 Geez!
01:22:11 I love you, I love you!
01:22:13 I should have known all along,
01:22:14 the pressure, I wasn't thinking straight.
01:22:15 - Hey, Milo, what's up?
01:22:17 - The gear transfer linkage,
01:22:18 it was obstructed in the fourth increment.
01:22:19 Geez, fixed it!
01:22:20 - That's a minor alteration.
01:22:22 Two hours work, tops.
01:22:24 - What's happening, man?
01:22:25 - High-mech, and fixed the race bed.
01:22:27 - Dude, like we could still race!
01:22:28 - Hell, we got three hours.
01:22:29 We could just make it.
01:22:31 - Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:22:32 We're not even registered.
01:22:34 - You're boning me on this.
01:22:35 - You Java Me.
01:22:37 - Me cheese, we make pie.
01:22:39 - Africa.
01:22:45 That's it, Africa!
01:22:47 Cognac!
01:22:48 That's it, I got it, I got it!
01:22:50 - Hello, operator?
01:22:56 Jason, I want Africa.
01:22:58 That's right, baby, Africa.
01:22:59 Zimbuka, Africa.
01:23:01 Hello, Africa?
01:23:06 No, no, I don't speak Swahili.
01:23:08 Thank you anyway, though.
01:23:09 Listen, I want to speak to the Ivory Tusk Hotel.
01:23:13 Hello?
01:23:17 Jason, I would like to speak with Mrs. Royce.
01:23:20 Either one, baby, I really don't care.
01:23:22 It's all right with me.
01:23:24 Thank you, I'll wait.
01:23:25 Listen, listen, you guys.
01:23:26 Do what you have to do, get going.
01:23:28 You, Milo, fix that bed.
01:23:29 - We're in?
01:23:30 - You guys, leave this to me, okay?
01:23:32 I want you to do what you have to do to get this going.
01:23:34 We're going to be sex puppets!
01:23:36 - Yes!
01:23:37 - Wait a minute, wait a minute!
01:23:38 What about the bikini contest?
01:23:41 - Hi, Schnickoff.
01:23:47 - Chavo!
01:23:51 (screaming)
01:23:53 (upbeat music)
01:23:56 (helicopter whirring)
01:24:06 - Stinkler.
01:24:07 All the entrants are registered, right?
01:24:10 - Yes, no sex puppets.
01:24:12 Our bets are in place, we're favored two to one.
01:24:15 - Vinnie, place the bet.
01:24:17 We're in for all of it.
01:24:18 - I've arranged for a press conference
01:24:20 at my yacht after the race.
01:24:21 Our victory and my mayoral candidacy will be headline news.
01:24:26 - Hey, boss, Stinkler's got a phone call.
01:24:30 - Hello?
01:24:33 Maynard, what's going on?
01:24:35 The mayor?
01:24:36 What does that asshole want?
01:24:38 Oh, hello, mayor.
01:24:40 No, I was referring to Maynard.
01:24:42 Yes?
01:24:44 Who?
01:24:45 The sex puppets?
01:24:47 Oh, I don't know, yes.
01:24:49 Well, don't you think it's rather late, mayor?
01:24:52 We're only two hours away and...
01:24:54 Yes, I'd be glad to help.
01:24:57 Yes, only too glad to offer my cooperation.
01:25:03 - Sing it to me.
01:25:05 - I had to register them.
01:25:06 The mayor's fiancee, Mrs. Royce,
01:25:08 called all the way from Zambuca, Africa.
01:25:10 She's one of their sponsors.
01:25:11 - Stinkler, my club just put all of its money on your team.
01:25:15 Our organization makes money because we always, always win.
01:25:19 In two hours from now is the big race.
01:25:21 Two hours and five minutes from now.
01:25:25 Either our investment or your bones are gonna double.
01:25:29 - We'll win, we'll win.
01:25:30 Our racers are the fastest.
01:25:31 The bet we assembled.
01:25:32 - Snap, crackle, pop.
01:25:34 - I can't wait to see what I get.
01:25:40 - JoJo, you're a sex puppet!
01:25:42 (cheering)
01:25:44 - JoJo, JoJo, look at me.
01:25:49 - Yeah!
01:25:50 - What a fashion statement.
01:25:51 - My JoJo, my JoJo.
01:25:53 - Just like me and JoJo's.
01:25:56 (laughing)
01:25:58 (car engine revving)
01:26:01 - We're all through if we don't win the race.
01:26:10 The sex puppets are in and Gino is blood hungry.
01:26:14 Our bedhead better score the fastest time.
01:26:17 - It's okay, it's okay.
01:26:19 There's no competition to us.
01:26:20 - I'm into this up to my teeth.
01:26:22 TV, radio, everybody's gonna be there.
01:26:26 - Don't disappoint me, Maynard.
01:26:28 You're on my shit list, woman.
01:26:34 - Well, Maynard, you're on everyone's shit list.
01:26:37 Now come on, I got a plan.
01:26:38 - Witch.
01:26:39 - Oh, come on.
01:26:41 (groaning)
01:26:45 - Maynard!
01:26:46 (upbeat music)
01:26:49 ♪ Hey, ma, why don't we go down to the Coco Bay ♪
01:26:52 ♪ Bed Race, ma ♪
01:26:54 - I've heard it's a really jammin' on party over there, Juan.
01:26:59 - On behalf of our sponsors, this is Wink Magic Man,
01:27:03 and I'd like to invite each and every one of you
01:27:05 on this gorgeous, spectacular, sunny South Florida day
01:27:08 to the running of the 10th annual Coco Bay Bed Race.
01:27:12 I'm sure you all know, the events begin
01:27:14 with the traditional parade of beds,
01:27:16 followed by the tantalizing, mouthwatering,
01:27:20 indescribably delicious bikini contest.
01:27:24 (laughing)
01:27:26 And boy, have we got some beautiful women
01:27:29 competing this year.
01:27:30 Finally, the most outrageous, outlandish,
01:27:34 off-the-wall sporting event in the sporting world,
01:27:37 the Coco Bay Bed Race.
01:27:39 ♪ We're gonna party on the Coco Bay Bed Race ♪
01:27:44 ♪ Coco Bay Bed Race ♪
01:27:48 ♪ We're gonna party on the Coco Bay Bed Race ♪
01:27:53 ♪ The bubbles go into the Coco Bay Bed Race ♪
01:27:57 ♪ We're gonna party on the Coco Bay Bed Race ♪
01:28:01 - Let's get on with the show!
01:28:04 The parade is led by last year's reigning champs,
01:28:08 the Bed Sore, sponsored by Herman Stinkler
01:28:11 and the Scagnoli Club of Brooklyn.
01:28:13 (cheering)
01:28:16 (upbeat music)
01:28:19 (cheering)
01:28:22 (upbeat music)
01:28:50 - The parade's already started.
01:28:52 Job is over, looking for the other girls.
01:28:54 - How's it going, baby?
01:28:55 - It'll work, I think.
01:28:56 - Dude, you can bet on it.
01:28:58 - I did.
01:28:59 - Dude, scandalous!
01:29:02 - Ladies and gentlemen, the last minute entry.
01:29:05 I don't have them registered,
01:29:06 but if I can read their names.
01:29:08 The Sex Puppets, sponsored by JoJo's Auto Paradise.
01:29:12 (laughing)
01:29:13 We better suggest parental guidance for this one.
01:29:15 (cheering)
01:29:18 Best Drive Me at JoJo's.
01:29:20 Ha, I don't know if the wide world of sports
01:29:22 is ready for this one, folks.
01:29:24 I think it's safe to assume we have the winners
01:29:31 of this year's Bed Parade.
01:29:33 - Stinkler, my pal.
01:29:36 You know what a kneecap sounds like
01:29:39 when it pops out of its joint?
01:29:41 Kind of like a baseball getting slammed into left field.
01:29:45 Ain't that right, Vinnie?
01:29:46 - Yeah, just, just, yeah.
01:29:48 - No, Vinnie, like this.
01:29:51 - I think I'll check on the bikini judges.
01:29:55 - Yeah, why don't you go do that?
01:29:58 Putts.
01:29:59 - And now the 10 reasons why Cocoa Bay
01:30:02 is the most beautiful city in the world,
01:30:04 the bikini contest.
01:30:06 - Beauty is pain.
01:30:14 (laughing)
01:30:16 - Are the ladies ready?
01:30:18 - I'm gonna go help Milo get the bed set up.
01:30:24 You guys okay?
01:30:25 - Dude, chill, it's in the bag.
01:30:26 - All right, I'll see you at the bit.
01:30:27 - Yeah. - All right.
01:30:28 - See you later, schnookums.
01:30:30 (grunting)
01:30:36 (laughing)
01:30:39 - Amber.
01:30:49 - Cover up the shifter.
01:30:52 - Amber.
01:30:53 - You have got to be kidding.
01:30:57 Where did you guys get this thing?
01:31:00 Our local junkyard?
01:31:02 (laughing)
01:31:03 I'm going to enjoy blowing past you.
01:31:06 - Hey, Milo, do you know what this guy looks like?
01:31:11 Little Richard on steroids.
01:31:12 (shouting)
01:31:15 - You're funny, man.
01:31:18 You're too funny.
01:31:20 You may have gotten into the race, buddy,
01:31:22 but you are way out of your league.
01:31:25 - Oh, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him.
01:31:27 - Manny, I designed this bed,
01:31:31 and I'm gonna burn rubber in your face.
01:31:34 (cheering)
01:31:40 - Yeah.
01:31:48 Yeah.
01:31:54 Yeah, I am the, and I can't,
01:32:00 I can't see.
01:32:01 I can't see.
01:32:03 My glasses are sick.
01:32:06 (shouting)
01:32:08 (rapping in foreign language)
01:32:12, I can't see.
01:32:14 (rapping in foreign language)
01:32:18 (upbeat music)
01:32:20 No, I can't, wait, wait, I can't see the content.
01:32:44 (rapping in foreign language)
01:32:48 (upbeat music)
01:32:51 (rapping in foreign language)
01:32:55 (rapping in foreign language)
01:33:11 (upbeat music)
01:33:14 - Refill this for me, baby.
01:33:40 (rapping in foreign language)
01:33:44 - I now have proven positive that there is a God.
01:33:51 (rapping in foreign language)
01:33:55 - Oh, I'm sorry.
01:34:04 Our last patron representing the Bed Shores.
01:34:08 (upbeat music)
01:34:11 - Hey, where's Birdie?
01:34:24 - Over there.
01:34:25 ♪ Give me the music ♪
01:34:34 (upbeat music)
01:34:37 - Hey, I have your receipt, please.
01:34:46 - I have order for three.
01:34:51 The Bed Shores.
01:34:52 (upbeat music)
01:34:56 - Birdie, you all right?
01:35:04 - Milo, dude, I'm freaked.
01:35:06 Someone's in my bag.
01:35:07 - Shit, how are we gonna race
01:35:08 if you can't see where he's going?
01:35:10 - Come on.
01:35:11 (upbeat music)
01:35:13 - This is the final call for all teams to assemble
01:35:16 with their race beds in the pit area, please.
01:35:20 Runners, on your marks, get set.
01:35:25 (upbeat music)
01:35:29 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
01:35:33 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
01:35:37 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
01:35:42 ♪ One day, all my life ♪
01:35:45 - The most Birdie's gonna ever have to run alone
01:35:48 is 25 yards, right?
01:35:50 JD can steer that far.
01:35:51 - Yo, Milo, I don't see a steering wheel in the car.
01:35:56 - Take it off.
01:35:57 - Yo, plano, easy on the thing.
01:35:59 A little campfire, a little music, a little heat.
01:36:02 All you have to do is affect some torsion,
01:36:04 which will automatically increase the friction of inertia,
01:36:06 resulting in hormonalization of control.
01:36:10 - You pull it like a rein on a horse.
01:36:12 - Exactly.
01:36:13 - Our last heat was 1021.
01:36:19 That's a bed race record.
01:36:22 - There's that six of 15.
01:36:27 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
01:36:28 - On your mark, get set.
01:36:30 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
01:36:34 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
01:36:36 - What's this?
01:36:37 Our long shot team's got a secret weapon.
01:36:39 They've dropped off two of the runners.
01:36:40 Oh no, we have an out of control bed.
01:36:43 The sex puppets hit the tape at 1025.
01:36:45 - What the hell's going on?
01:36:47 - They can't do that.
01:36:48 What are they doing?
01:36:48 I'll disqualify them.
01:36:50 - Well, we seem to have a secret weapon
01:36:52 in our lineup this year.
01:36:54 The sex puppets may upset some of our usual
01:36:57 rental runner teams.
01:36:58 - Rental runners?
01:36:59 Did you hear what that motherfucker called us?
01:37:03 - Great plan there, Einstein.
01:37:05 What'd you do, steal their shoelaces?
01:37:08 - Well, I don't see you coming up
01:37:09 with any great ideas, biscuit head.
01:37:12 - Puke, princess.
01:37:14 - Eunuch.
01:37:16 - Gee.
01:37:17 - Hey, easy.
01:37:23 - What do you mean there's no rule against it?
01:37:25 Gams, do something.
01:37:26 - Look, I have to register an official complaint.
01:37:29 I've been entering vehicles in this event for years.
01:37:31 A geared system has never been allowed before.
01:37:34 - Well, it's man powered.
01:37:35 It has no engine and it has four wheels.
01:37:37 They're okay.
01:37:38 - Now, wait a minute.
01:37:38 - They're in the final.
01:37:39 (cheering)
01:37:42 - Damn.
01:37:47 - Where?
01:37:47 - I'm going back to the yacht
01:37:48 to prepare for my TV interview.
01:37:50 I don't care what you have to do.
01:37:52 Our team had better win.
01:37:53 - Yes, sir.
01:37:54 - A eunuch?
01:37:56 - It's official now.
01:37:58 Our final heat will be between
01:38:00 the bedsores and the sex puppets.
01:38:02 (cheering)
01:38:03 Runners to your starting positions.
01:38:06 - Look, my real name's Milton.
01:38:12 I'm not rich and I'm from Jersey.
01:38:14 - Janie.
01:38:16 Janie DuPont Mondale, the third.
01:38:19 JD, nice to meet you.
01:38:22 (upbeat music)
01:38:24 - On your mark.
01:38:29 - This is it, dude.
01:38:30 Let's boss it.
01:38:32 - Get set.
01:38:33 (cheering)
01:38:35 - And they're off.
01:38:36 The bedsores have exploded into a winning lead.
01:38:39 - Aloha, Denver.
01:38:40 - Each team's just lost a runner.
01:38:45 Here come the sex puppets.
01:38:50 They're shifting gears.
01:38:51 It's amazing.
01:38:52 They've just lost another man and taken the lead.
01:38:54 The bedsores are holding strong.
01:38:56 It's gonna be close.
01:38:57 They're neck and neck.
01:38:58 The bedsores are forcing their way in.
01:39:00 Oh no, down goes another runner.
01:39:02 - Go, baby, go.
01:39:05 - The bedsores have lost it.
01:39:07 They're off the runway.
01:39:08 Watch out.
01:39:09 (cheering)
01:39:14 Sex puppet last runner takes the finish line single-handedly.
01:39:18 Our long shot team wins in record time.
01:39:21 (cheering)
01:39:23 - 101, I win my bed.
01:39:27 I'm wealthy.
01:39:28 That's a million.
01:39:30 Yes!
01:39:31 (cheering)
01:39:47 - Don't panic.
01:39:48 - Hey, Nanny.
01:39:49 Nanny, get me out of here.
01:39:52 - Come here.
01:39:53 - Oh, baby.
01:39:54 - Hey, which one is it?
01:40:04 - It's the one like that.
01:40:05 - That's the one.
01:40:06 Okay, here we go.
01:40:07 - Excuse me.
01:40:08 Move.
01:40:09 Excuse me.
01:40:10 Excuse me.
01:40:11 Move.
01:40:12 - Watch it, buddy.
01:40:13 (laughing)
01:40:15 (laughing)
01:40:18 (laughing)
01:40:20 (laughing)
01:40:26 - What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:40:32 You can't touch it.
01:40:33 No.
01:40:34 (yelling)
01:40:36 (bell ringing)
01:40:46 (bell ringing)
01:40:49 (cheering)
01:40:57 (upbeat music)
01:40:59 ♪ Everyone's got to have freedom ♪
01:41:27 ♪ Everyone's got to feel good ♪
01:41:32 ♪ We're living in this land ♪
01:41:34 ♪ We've got each other to believe in ♪
01:41:39 ♪ So we chowed down to one another ♪
01:41:43 ♪ We're all sisters and brothers ♪
01:41:48 ♪ Lord know we all got our problems ♪
01:41:55 ♪ Oh yeah ♪
01:41:58 ♪ They've been having mine too ♪
01:42:03 ♪ I've been worrying the way your life ♪
01:42:07 ♪ Ain't gonna solve 'em ♪
01:42:11 ♪ 'Cause it's a matter of mood ♪
01:42:16 ♪ Proper attitude ♪
01:42:19 ♪ And step by step is what we do ♪
01:42:23 ♪ And step by step is what it's gonna take ♪
01:42:27 ♪ Live and learn from our own mistakes ♪
01:42:31 ♪ It's the ups and downs that make us great ♪
01:42:35 ♪ When we're living inside ♪
01:42:39 ♪ It's one man's wrong and the other man's right ♪
01:42:43 ♪ Speak their minds and do it in the same ♪
01:42:47 ♪ There's no black and there's no white ♪
01:42:51 ♪ When we're living inside ♪
01:42:55 ♪ Living inside ♪
01:42:59 ♪ All this freedom ♪
01:43:03 ♪ This freedom ♪
01:43:06 ♪ All this freedom ♪
01:43:18 ♪ We better be giving and grateful ♪
01:43:22 ♪ We better be, we better be ♪
01:43:26 ♪ We better be doing some good ♪
01:43:31 ♪ 'Cause there's people in the world ♪
01:43:35 ♪ That hurt and hate the poor ♪
01:43:39 ♪ And it just don't seem right ♪
01:43:43 ♪ In this land of lies ♪
01:43:47 ♪ Step by step is what it's gonna take ♪
01:43:51 ♪ Live and learn from our own mistakes ♪
01:43:55 ♪ It's the ups and downs that make us great ♪
01:43:59 ♪ When we're living inside ♪
01:44:03 ♪ It's one man's wrong and the other man's right ♪
01:44:07 ♪ Speak their minds and do it in the same ♪
01:44:11 ♪ There's no black and there's no white ♪
01:44:15 ♪ When we're living inside ♪
01:44:19 ♪ When we're living inside ♪
01:44:23 ♪ When we're living inside ♪
01:44:27 ♪ All this freedom ♪
01:44:30 ♪ Living inside this freedom ♪
01:44:34 ♪ Oh, sweet freedom all across this land ♪
01:44:38 ♪ Living inside this freedom ♪
01:44:44 ♪ There's a brother in Nantucket ♪
01:44:46 ♪ And a sister in St. Lawrence ♪
01:44:48 ♪ A legend in St. Louis ♪
01:44:50 ♪ An answer in the cold ♪
01:44:52 ♪ From Mason, West Virginia ♪
01:44:54 ♪ To the dollar in the mall ♪
01:44:56 ♪ From California ♪
01:44:58 ♪ Freedom's all they want ♪
01:45:00 ♪ From Joe in Saratoga ♪
01:45:02 ♪ To the boys in South Bend ♪
01:45:04 ♪ To the folks in Minnesota ♪
01:45:06 ♪ Spread it all across this land ♪
01:45:08 ♪ From Johnny in Seattle ♪
01:45:10 ♪ To that gal in Mount Louis ♪
01:45:12 ♪ And Colorado and Kentucky's grass so blue ♪
01:45:16 ♪ From Stuxnet North Dakota ♪
01:45:18 ♪ To Concord, Tennessee ♪
01:45:20 ♪ In Flagstaff ♪
01:45:22 ♪ We're all living to be free ♪
01:45:26 [music fades]
01:45:30 [music fades]
01:45:32 [music fades]
01:45:34 [music fades]
01:45:36 [music fades]
01:45:38 [music fades]
01:45:40 [music fades]
01:45:42 [music fades]
01:45:44 [music fades]
01:45:46 [BLANK_AUDIO]