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00:00 The worst thing you could do is marry somebody
00:01 that liked to talk and then ask them not to.
00:04 You will kill them.
00:05 The worst thing you could do is marry an introverted man
00:08 and then get mad at him because he don't talk.
00:10 This is what I'm trying to tell people.
00:11 This is why I told this girl,
00:13 I said, "We're gonna spend the second half
00:15 "of our pastorate on premarital.
00:20 "We're gonna try our best to fix people who pick wrong.
00:23 "We're gonna try our best to work with people
00:25 "who didn't pray, got married because she was pregnant,
00:28 "they were depressed, they married Mr. Rebound
00:30 "because they were coming off the first one.
00:32 "Next thing you know, they married again.
00:33 "I'm gonna do my best with them,
00:35 "but where I'm gonna put my crazy energy,
00:37 "Darrell, all these guys feel."
00:38 Young ladies, young men, pick right.
00:42 Pick right.
00:43 Yeah, pick right.
00:44 Read my books on dating.
00:46 Watch my Bible cast so you're not standing in my line
00:49 three months after your ceremony saying,
00:51 "I think I made a mistake, Pastor."
00:53 Yeah, I'm bored to death.
00:54 She don't like to make love.
00:55 We ain't talk.
00:56 He's too quiet.
00:57 She won't shut up.
00:58 She nags.
01:00 It's a miserable existence to wake up to somebody every day
01:04 that you don't wanna be around.
01:05 I can't imagine it.
01:06 I don't even know what it feels like.
01:07 I'll be lying.
01:08 I married right.
01:10 I pick right.
01:10 I want you to hear me so you can fix your marriage
01:13 and be cold-blooded, girl.
01:15 When you do get married, send this to a man.
01:16 Send this to, I need you sharing.
01:18 I need you commenting.
01:19 Those of you who know what I'm talking about,
01:21 men need honor and respect.
01:23 Lady Verna has the goofiest, silliest laugh in the world.
01:26 You can't know her and not love her.
01:28 Thousands of women, I'm gonna keep saying,
01:29 I call her the golden first lady
01:30 'cause women are catty
01:32 and women don't like and trust easily.
01:36 And every woman in our church wants to touch her
01:38 and tell her something.
01:39 Cold-blooded in terms of how she deals with women
01:42 and first ladies across the country.
01:44 All my leading ladies comment right now.
01:46 All first ladies that are daughters of mine
01:48 in our fellowship, I'm not making her perfect.
01:50 She had imperfections, but she call it what she do.
01:52 You'll love this.
01:54 But she know when I need her to be quiet for me.
01:57 Yeah, she know when I'm in that real man mode
02:00 and I need honor more than I need her opinion.
02:03 At the same time, she's strong enough to know
02:05 when she may have to check my behind and say,
02:06 now can't nobody tell you this but me.
02:08 Yeah, I'm all you got.
02:09 Who else gonna tell you?
02:10 You don't pay me.
02:11 I don't work for you.
02:12 I'm your husband.
02:13 I need that.
02:14 At the same time, she knows how to honor me and respect me.
02:19 Nobody hangs out where they don't feel honor.
02:23 I'm gonna say this is a whole nother Bible cast.
02:27 How am I looking at?
02:28 Oh yeah, we good.
02:29 Yeah, whole nother Bible cast.
02:31 He don't need your money if he's a bro like me.
02:35 That's so frustrating for a woman who spent 12 years
02:38 trying to get a PhD.
02:40 And she gave 12 years of her life to college.
02:42 And she feels like, look how accomplished I am.
02:45 And by the way, you should do that.
02:46 Just know this, most bros don't care about that.
02:50 I know, I know you're brilliant.
02:52 Most bros just want a woman he can converse with
02:55 and she's intelligent.
02:56 But her degree level or what she makes per year don't matter.
02:59 I know, but if he's a man like me, he got his own money.
03:03 Yeah, he don't need that.
03:05 He needs honor.
03:07 With your brilliant self,
03:08 he needs to know you know when to be quiet.
03:10 And sometimes just submit yourself to him.
03:12 If that sounds corny, then you just stay by yourself.
03:15 Because most men, and by the way,
03:16 before you type in the comments,
03:18 I meant to say this too, I wanna stress it.
03:19 These generalizations.
03:20 I'm talking about the majority of heterosexual bros.
03:24 The majority.
03:25 I know there's always this infeminate brother.
03:27 He's totally opposite of everything I'm teaching.
03:29 He just wants to talk to you.
03:30 He don't wanna make love to you.
03:31 He doesn't care about you running everything.
03:32 He is not the majority.
03:35 Did I tell you guys 10,000 hours makes you an expert?
03:38 I've talked to thousands of men, hundreds.
03:41 I counsel, you gonna listen to me tonight.
03:43 This is what I do.
03:47 I'm the one that your husband called.
03:48 I sat down as it were with your husband.
03:51 Your pastor calls me about his wife.
03:54 He needs it.
03:55 Listen to me.
03:57 Men need a woman that honors him.
04:01 That's why he ended up in the projects with a broke girl,
04:05 with a big old behind and nice to him.
04:07 She ain't got no money, she ain't got no degree.
04:09 But he go over there and that girl cooking
04:11 and talking sweet.
04:13 And you there in your little suburban house,
04:15 you have no idea.
04:16 He down in the projects with,
04:18 what's her name baby?
04:19 Keisha.
04:20 He with Keisha.
04:21 Keisha with the big booty and can make macaroni.
04:23 Keisha making that breakfast and you all right baby?
04:28 And just sitting there quiet.
04:30 You so, she don't really respect you.
04:32 She don't honor you.
04:33 Now she's a witch.
04:34 She's an adulterous witch, but she got your man.
04:37 Yeah, she can't have me.
04:40 Baby Keisha can kiss.
04:41 Listen, did I almost...
04:43 Some of y'all comment, boy.
04:47 My wife here today, so I'm clowning too.
04:49 I ain't gonna lie y'all.
04:50 I'm loving it.
04:51 Let me wrap up.
04:52 Men need, well, what about what women need?
04:54 That's the next Bible cast.
04:55 You better watch next week.
04:57 You think I don't know you got,
04:59 I'm an expert in that too.
05:00 'Cause one woman been need me over two decades,
05:04 a quarter century, one woman been need me.
05:05 I know what she need.
05:07 She told me how to love her.
05:08 I'm gonna tell you,
05:09 you better get your husband to watch next week.
05:11 You better get your nephew, your son.
05:13 'Cause I'm gonna talk about what women need.
05:14 This ain't no sexist something.
05:15 I had to start somewhere.
05:17 Start with you girls.
05:18 You beautiful women.
05:19 Here it is.
05:20 Men need honor and respect.
05:24 Men need to know that with your talented stuff,
05:27 sometimes I'm just gonna be quiet.
05:28 He's having a rough day.
05:29 Sometimes you say something to your kids.
05:31 Hear me, don't you say nothing.
05:32 Oh yeah, baby, don't do that in front of him.
05:35 Yeah, you just lost him.
05:37 He give your children an order.
05:39 You don't have to agree with the order.
05:40 You go in the bedroom and tell him that.
05:42 You don't correct him in front of his children.
05:43 My wife and I, my wife did that before.
05:45 Oh yeah, we first got married.
05:46 I say something, she said,
05:47 I look at her and said, don't say nothing when I talk.
05:49 Now she could have said, I ain't.
05:50 I said, don't say nothing when I talk to my kids.
05:53 That's just who I am.
05:54 Don't say nothing.
05:55 You tell me later.
05:56 You take me in the room.
05:57 They need to affirm me.
05:58 I'm their father.
06:00 These streets gonna beat them up.
06:01 You make them know that when I talk, it matters.
06:04 We fought about this.
06:05 She caught it.
06:06 She'll tell you.
06:06 She'll do that.
06:08 She'll do that.
06:08 And there are things, I can't wait till next week.
06:10 'Cause I'm gonna tell you what your wife need.
06:12 But this is about, do you want a man?
06:15 Do you want to keep a man without him cheating?
06:20 Because y'all still together
06:22 don't mean he don't have a mistress.
06:23 Because y'all still together don't mean
06:25 he ain't masturbating every day
06:26 and can't stand being there.
06:28 He just don't know how to leave your butt.
06:30 Men need affirmation.
06:35 Can I tell you, I need affirmation.
06:37 Every Sunday, when I get through working,
06:41 when I get through preaching, I ask that girl,
06:44 how did I do?
06:44 I don't ask nobody else.
06:45 I don't ask my children.
06:46 I don't go compliment seeking.
06:49 I don't do that because I realize you just can't do that.
06:52 I'm interested.
06:53 You don't think I want to know?
06:54 I work eight, 10 hours on one thing.
06:56 It takes me 10 hours, 12 hours
06:59 for what I do 40 minutes every week.
07:01 And then I got to do it again.
07:03 And you're only as good as your last sermon.
07:05 A lot of guys don't make you laugh
07:07 and they make you think.
07:07 And I work hard to do all of that.
07:09 And I don't want to do it.
07:11 Okay, your husband may be a plumber.
07:13 He may be an electrician.
07:14 You got to tell him, you got to soothe that ego.
07:17 You got to affirm him.
07:18 Every week, I'm like, sometimes, you know what I say?
07:20 I said, baby, we stayed up all night
07:22 'cause the enemy does this to me.
07:23 I said, I ain't got it today.
07:25 I'm gonna get through it, baby.
07:26 Every single week, she come in the office and say,
07:28 oh, you about to murder.
07:30 I'm like, no, she said, please.
07:31 I ain't never seen you not do decent here.
07:33 Please, you don't even know how not to preach well.
07:35 Your worst sermons is better than most people.
07:37 Baby, you're gonna be fine.
07:39 Man, something come over me.
07:41 I'd be like, let's get it.
07:43 I get through in another city preaching.
07:46 It's nothing until I get in the limo or the bus
07:49 or the Sprinter, whatever they had me in,
07:50 and call my girl.
07:52 Baby, it was in there, blah, blah, blah.
07:55 Man, they affirmed it.
07:56 They need affirmation.
07:58 Some of you so busy, watch this,
08:01 seeking affirmation, you don't give it away.
08:05 Maybe because of daddy pain, mommy pain.
08:07 So he's so busy trying to always keep you uplifted
08:09 because of your personal stuff.
08:11 Man, you need that too,
08:12 but man, you're gonna be married to a man.
08:14 You got to affirm that, brother.
08:18 You gotta tell him he's wonderful.
08:20 Tell him he can make it.
08:21 Tell him he can finish that degree.
08:22 Are you sending this to your single friends?
08:24 Are you sharing in the comments?
08:26 I need you sharing.
08:27 I need you agree and disagreeing.
08:28 I have no issues with principle critique.
08:32 We gonna delete all fools and buffoonery,
08:34 but if you disagree, say that, help me, help me.
08:37 But I'm an expert.
08:39 Yes, I am.
08:39 I'm not an expert at fixing cars.
08:41 I'm not an expert.
08:42 You're gonna fix my baby's heart and operate.
08:46 I wanna know you're an expert.
08:47 You're gonna talk to me about my business.
08:49 I ain't one of the guys who grabbed the camera
08:51 'cause it's the hot thing and get me some money.
08:54 No, my bills are paid.
08:55 I grabbed this camera because God told me what's in me
08:59 and that girl told me,
09:01 "Baby, let's not die with this information inside of us."
09:04 So I'm coming raw because I'm at that age
09:07 where I'm young enough that you look like you're young enough
09:09 to flow and kick it,
09:11 and yet old enough for you to pay attention to me.
09:13 Men need affirmation.
09:17 When is the last time you affirmed him?
09:18 Start doing that when you're dating him.
09:20 Give him a sense of how you're gonna affirm him.
09:22 Soon as you know him, start speaking life over him.
09:24 You don't have to over compliment or be phony,
09:26 but enough that he feels like she got me.