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FunTranscript
00:00 [Music]
00:02 [Music]
00:04 [Music]
00:06 [Music]
00:08 (triumphant music)
00:10 (upbeat music)
00:13 (upbeat music)
00:17 (upbeat music)
00:19 (scatting)
00:45 - Hey, Pops, what is that?
00:47 Tell me what we're gaping at.
00:50 - Well, right here, Junior, is the greatest invention,
00:53 the story of which I am about to reveal.
00:56 - Oh, well, frost me, Poppa, can it be your intention
00:59 to back your chappers over nothing more than a wheel?
01:02 Your brain is all tied up in a sling.
01:05 To think a wheel is such a great thing.
01:07 - Well, you young whippersnapper,
01:09 you name me a better invention.
01:11 - Sinceville, Daddy-O, try this for size.
01:14 - I like that, don't you?
01:15 Take the airplane to be greater.
01:17 - Why, without the old wheel,
01:19 that thing would just go to pop.
01:20 - The motor car?
01:21 Now that was no second rate.
01:23 - But take away the wheel and that invention is shot.
01:26 There's not a single thing you can find
01:29 that ever did as much for mankind.
01:32 - Look here, Pop, you must be in the wrong scene.
01:34 - Not me.
01:35 - Let me toss some more examples at you.
01:37 The typewriter?
01:39 - Wheel.
01:40 - The steam engine?
01:41 - Wheel.
01:42 - Ed, I went with these cotton gin.
01:43 - Wheels, wheels, wheels.
01:44 - The sewing machine?
01:45 - Wheel.
01:46 - The washing machine?
01:47 - Wheel.
01:48 - Never knew so many things depended on wheels.
01:50 - And you can keep on naming them, son,
01:53 but there's a wheel in every last one.
01:56 So come on, Junior, let's go back through the ages,
01:59 way back in the days that I can hardly recall,
02:02 and watch what happens through the various stages,
02:05 beginning from the time when there were no wheels at all.
02:08 - Now tell me, who are we gonna meet on this deal?
02:11 - Why, the inventor, son.
02:13 - The inventor?
02:14 - Yes, the inventor of the wheel.
02:16 - Oh, fine, I'd love to meet him.
02:22 - Ah, now then, Junior, looks like our boy there.
02:29 - Hey, look, no wheels.
02:31 Pops, well, I declare he don't look like an inventor to me.
02:35 - Quiet, Junior, just watch and see.
02:37 - See, life was a struggle in the prehistoric age.
02:40 - Yes, you'll note, Junior, man was
02:43 in his bare essential state.
02:45 Food was scarce and clothes were few.
02:47 - And I see there was a housing shortage, too.
02:54 - Aha, now we come to the part
02:56 where the whole idea gets its start.
02:58 - Hey, buddy, wake up.
02:59 - Turn around, here's your big chance to be world-renowned.
03:03 - But, Dad.
03:04 - Sure, draw up that idea.
03:08 That's it, good, study it.
03:11 Now then, is it understood?
03:13 - No, uh-uh, what is it?
03:15 - Why, that's a wheel like the one you've just seen.
03:19 - What do I do with it?
03:20 - What'll he do with it?
03:21 Hey, use your beans.
03:22 - Think of the possibilities, where's your vision?
03:25 This is no moment for indecision.
03:28 - Say, the wheel's a great idea.
03:31 - Oh, no, boy, no, that use of the wheel is hardly apropos.
03:36 Go on and roll it, boy, roll it down the hill.
03:40 - Wait, I'll get it.
03:42 - I'm sure you will.
03:44 - Kazooks, Pop, this cat is really nowhere.
03:47 In some circles, we'd call him square.
03:49 - Well, he's pretty slow, Junior, but don't be upset.
03:53 Hey, boy, you haven't got it yet.
03:56 - Oh, yeah?
03:57 Say, who are you two guys?
04:00 - Why, we're the Spirits of Progress,
04:02 and we advise you to pay some undivided attention
04:05 while we help you with your great invention.
04:08 Listen, and we'll show you how.
04:10 - How what?
04:12 - How to, well, just follow us now.
04:15 Find yourself a log, and here's what you do.
04:18 Slice off a slice, yeah, better make it two.
04:22 Attach those slices to your sled.
04:25 - Hey, pull it, boy, go ahead.
04:29 - Now, young man, right here, you decide
04:32 why should you pull when you can ride.
04:35 You better add sides to this knockabout
04:38 so you and your possessions won't fall out.
04:42 - Okay, driver, you know how.
04:44 Say, lookie there, he's making progress now.
04:48 ♪ Man's first wheels were heavy and queer ♪
04:51 ♪ Better wheels were soon to appear ♪
04:54 - When the Egyptians came--
04:56 - What'd they do?
04:57 - They made real progress.
04:59 - How do you like those Egyptians?
05:01 ♪ Early Greeks advanced the wheel more ♪
05:05 ♪ Light and fast as never before ♪
05:07 - And then the Romans came.
05:09 - And what did they do?
05:10 - And they made progress.
05:12 - Oh, those Romans.
05:13 ♪ Soon there were work carts ♪
05:15 ♪ Mail carts, strong carts, rail carts ♪
05:18 ♪ Carriages and gigs ♪
05:21 ♪ Wagons, chaise, and cabrolets ♪
05:24 ♪ And all kinds of rigs ♪
05:28 ♪ Transportation vastly improved ♪
05:31 ♪ On those wheels how everything moved ♪
05:34 - People were traveling.
05:35 - They were going.
05:37 - On wheels of progress.
05:39 (tires squealing)
05:41 (engine rumbling)
05:44 - Stop.
05:51 Now, another phase, Junior.
05:53 ♪ Taking good advantage of steam ♪
05:58 ♪ Out of someone's wonderful dream ♪
06:01 ♪ The locomotive came ♪
06:02 - What for?
06:03 - To add to progress.
06:05 - It did add something.
06:06 ♪ Flanges on each rim of the wheel ♪
06:11 ♪ Rolled along on ribbons of steel ♪
06:14 - Known as the railroad track.
06:16 - Clickety-clack.
06:17 - And tracks of progress.
06:19 - Progress, yes.
06:20 ♪ Those trains got bigger, stronger, and much longer ♪
06:24 ♪ Faster too, of course ♪
06:28 ♪ Finally, man found that he could outrun a horse ♪
06:33 ♪ Distances got shorter somehow ♪
06:38 ♪ Lots of folks were traveling now ♪
06:40 - And it was all aboard.
06:42 - Doo-doo.
06:43 - On wheels of progress.
06:45 (engine rumbling)
06:48 (triumphant music)
06:51 - Stop.
06:57 Now, the next phase, Junior.
06:59 ♪ One day, man cried blankety-blank ♪
07:04 ♪ While he grimly twisted a crank ♪
07:06 - But when the engine caught.
07:08 - Watch it now.
07:09 - He made slight progress.
07:11 - Get a horse.
07:12 ♪ Rubber tires inflated with air ♪
07:17 ♪ Wheels were truly going somewhere ♪
07:21 - And it was fun to be.
07:23 - To be what?
07:24 - In stride with progress.
07:26 - Good old progress.
07:27 ♪ Soon, roads were two lanes, four lanes ♪
07:30 ♪ More and more lanes ♪
07:32 ♪ Man sure took to wheels ♪
07:35 ♪ Highways crammed and freeways jammed with automobiles ♪
07:40 ♪ Year by year, increasing the pace ♪
07:45 ♪ Everyone got into the race ♪
07:48 - It was the motor, eh?
07:50 - Ooh, the traffic.
07:51 ♪ On wheels of progress ♪
07:54 (upbeat music)
07:57 - Stop.
08:12 (tires screeching)
08:15 I'd rather walk.
08:19 Goodbye.
08:20 - What'd he say, Junior?
08:21 - He implies he'd rather be a pedestrian, Pops.
08:24 - Now boy, that's a negative stand.
08:27 Let's get back to the problem at hand.
08:29 Almost two million years man endures
08:35 waiting for that great invention of yours.
08:37 - The big that thing?
08:39 - Yes, lad.
08:40 And don't you doubt it.
08:41 Why, even now, you couldn't live without it.
08:44 - Aw, sure, I'm doing fine without it.
08:47 - No, no, my friend.
08:49 On this round earth, you've been spinning
08:51 since your birth, round and round on a wheel like that.
08:55 - Don't tell me.
08:56 The earth is flat.
08:58 - Pops, don't he know what Columbus proved?
09:00 - Son, this boy is way back.
09:03 Millennium's removed.
09:05 - Then let's fill him in and set him straight.
09:07 - Yeah, say, Junior, why don't you elucidate?
09:10 - Crazy.
09:11 Well, Swinger, here's the bit.
09:15 Now the globe spins like a wheel.
09:17 You can quote what I say.
09:19 One full turn knocks off one full day.
09:22 Now to check out the moon, the fact we face is
09:28 it swings around the earth on a monthly basis.
09:31 Both Luna and Terra Firma, they cut around the sun.
09:38 And dig this, it takes a year to get that done.
09:42 It's like, man, a natural timer.
09:46 One of those deals where nature naturally
09:48 makes it with wheels.
09:50 Wheels within wheels, you with me, Doc?
09:53 Same kind of setup we use in a clock.
09:55 A different wheel for a different speed.
09:58 Just what the hours, the minutes, and the seconds need.
10:01 Say, jump on that large wheel, Neanderthal.
10:05 - This is fun.
10:09 - And now, plant your wedgies on the little one.
10:11 Went pretty fast.
10:15 Didn't it, kid?
10:17 - Wow, it sure did.
10:18 - Though it may seem incidental,
10:21 still a basic fundamental should be mentioned here
10:23 before the point is passed.
10:25 Illustrating it by ratio to show mathematic ratio
10:28 will show just how slow the gears go or how fast.
10:31 Count the teeth around these two gears.
10:32 You would know this if you knew gears.
10:33 Now the largest, twice the number, you'll concede.
10:36 Twice the number, consequently,
10:37 if you spin it even gently,
10:39 you'll observe the smaller turning twice the speed.
10:42 ♪ And that's the principle of the thing ♪
10:44 ♪ That's the principle of the thing ♪
10:47 ♪ How the gears spin is related to the ratio ♪
10:49 ♪ We have stated is the scientific principle of the thing ♪
10:54 ♪ Now attend this demonstration ♪
10:56 ♪ Of some wheels in combination ♪
10:57 ♪ Using shafts and bells and bratches, balls and cans ♪
11:00 ♪ Gears eccentric, gears elliptic ♪
11:01 ♪ Though their purpose may seem cryptic ♪
11:03 ♪ They are all compound and simple diagrams ♪
11:05 ♪ Here are skulls and worms and sectors ♪
11:07 ♪ With escapements and connectors ♪
11:08 ♪ These demand no explanation, here I trust ♪
11:11 ♪ And the speed and gear reduction ♪
11:12 ♪ We determine in construction ♪
11:13 ♪ Based upon the ratio earlier discussed ♪
11:16 ♪ And that's the principle of the thing ♪
11:19 ♪ That's the principle of the thing ♪
11:21 ♪ How the gears spin is related to the ratio ♪
11:23 ♪ We have stated is the fascinating principle of the thing ♪
11:26 - What's it do?
11:28 - Why, nothing, boy.
11:29 It just illustrates, uh...
11:31 ♪ Fascinating principle of the thing ♪
11:34 - But what's it for?
11:35 - All right, boy, at your insistence,
11:38 let me give you a for instance.
11:42 The music box.
11:43 Love that tone.
11:47 And it led up to the gramophone.
11:52 (upbeat music)
11:55 See, boy, what wheels can do?
12:05 Now the gramophone progressed too.
12:08 - Wheels.
12:11 - You bet.
12:13 (upbeat music)
12:15 Step over to the music section.
12:25 Go on, boy, make a selection.
12:27 - Okay.
12:28 - There's cool, contemporary jazz.
12:35 (upbeat music)
12:38 (upbeat jazz music)
12:41 (upbeat jazz music)
13:09 How about some hoedown music, old timer?
13:11 (upbeat jazz music)
13:16 (upbeat jazz music)
13:19 (upbeat jazz music)
13:22 (upbeat jazz music)
13:25 (upbeat jazz music)
13:54 And what charm the classic ballet has.
13:57 (upbeat jazz music)
14:00 (bell dings)
14:09 (upbeat jazz music)
14:12 (upbeat jazz music)
14:15 What goes, Daddy-O?
14:30 I'm a little perplexed.
14:32 Oh, I see, you're gonna show us some movies next.
14:35 Good idea.
14:36 - Down in front, boy.
14:38 Now you'll see how your future life will be.
14:41 You'll wake up in the AM with a good day's work in view.
14:44 (alarm rings)
14:45 Turn it off, boy.
14:46 - Wheels.
14:48 - Of course.
14:49 Wheels, wheels, wheels, wheels, wheels.
14:53 (upbeat music)
14:56 And wheels are gonna be involved in everything you do.
14:59 (upbeat music)
15:03 - Wheels.
15:04 - Certainly.
15:05 (upbeat music)
15:08 - Wheels.
15:09 (upbeat music)
15:11 - Wheels for big wheels.
15:13 (upbeat music)
15:15 (alarm rings)
15:21 (upbeat music)
15:23 - Hey, do wheels ever get out of bed, sir?
15:31 - Oh, yes, boy.
15:32 There's wheels behind that light.
15:34 In fact, most everywhere.
15:36 They may not always be in sight, but still they're there.
15:39 ♪ There's wheels to generate electrical power ♪
15:43 ♪ Industrial wheels on which production relies ♪
15:47 ♪ Persistent circles turning hour by hour ♪
15:51 ♪ To manufacture things of all description and size ♪
15:54 ♪ Wherever great machinery throughout ♪
15:57 ♪ You'll find those good wheels doing their jobs ♪
16:01 ♪ There's wheels in water ♪
16:06 ♪ Wheels in soil ♪
16:09 ♪ Wheels for lumber ♪
16:13 ♪ Wheels for oil ♪
16:16 ♪ Wheels every place, even in space ♪
16:20 (upbeat music)
16:34 ♪ Of all the great things man has begun ♪
16:38 ♪ You gotta rate the wheel number one ♪
16:42 - So you see, my boy, no need to mention.
16:45 You're about to father a great invention.
16:48 - Oh, no.
16:49 I'm not going to be responsible for that.
16:53 Goodbye.
16:54 - What'd he say, Junior?
16:55 - He says he's dropping the project, Dad.
16:58 And by the way, this knocks our wheels out of alignment.
17:01 - Well, like you might say, Junior,
17:03 we blew the assignment.
17:05 I picked out the wrong boy, I guess.
17:08 But there was an inventor, nevertheless.
17:11 Oh, well.
17:13 ♪ Whomever he may be ♪
17:15 ♪ I'm sure we all agree ♪
17:18 ♪ We'd like to tell him just the way we feel ♪
17:22 ♪ So hooray for the inventor ♪
17:25 ♪ The marvelous inventor ♪
17:27 ♪ The wonderful inventor of the wheel, wheel, wheel ♪
17:32 ♪ I pray the Lord in prayer ♪
17:35 ♪ Of the wheel ♪
17:40 (scatting)
17:43 ♪ The wheel ♪
17:47 (scatting)
17:49 (door slams)