Dean McDermott -Didn't Want to Live- Ahead of Breakup with Tori Spelling - E! News

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Dean McDermott -Didn't Want to Live- Ahead of Breakup with Tori Spelling ,

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00:00 Dean McDermott says he's inflicted a lot of damage and pain on ex-Tori Spelling,
00:05 and says he, quote, "didn't want to live" ahead of their split.
00:08 Five months after the Chopped Canada alum appeared to confirm in a since-deleted Instagram post
00:14 that he and the Beverly Hills 90210 alum had broken up after 17 years of marriage,
00:19 Dean details the breakdown of their union in an interview with the Daily Mail, published November
00:24 15th. He tells the outlet, "I'm taking accountability for that today, and it's
00:29 the biggest amend that I'm ever going to have to make." And part of that is looking back on
00:33 his own struggles, including with alcohol addiction, which led him to seek treatment
00:38 earlier this summer. Dean explains, "Alcohol made me feel good enough. I started feeling
00:43 good enough until it got to a point where it didn't. It ended up in isolation." He adds,
00:48 "It ended up with me drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week,
00:53 and a handful of narcos, or prescription meds, by myself with a beautiful family in the other room.
00:59 That's what it led to, and that's what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and
01:03 Tori." Dean goes on to say the two had dealt with financial problems and says he and Tori started
01:09 sleeping in separate bedrooms in 2017. The distance was also exacerbated by Tori's pets,
01:15 including a pig and a chicken, who Dean says slept in the bedroom with them.
01:20 Dean tells the outlet, "I created a healthy boundary for myself and I said, 'I can't do this.
01:25 I can't live and sleep in this kind of condition,'" and says, "Things just progressed from there.
01:30 There were no efforts to sort of remedy the problem to get back into the room." Dean admits
01:35 the void between him and his family, plus his struggles with addiction, pushed him to the edge.
01:40 "I've never been so lonely in the same house with six other people, never been so lonely in my life.
01:46 I didn't know how to get out of the situation I was in. I was hurting. I was heartbroken.
01:50 I was depressed. I hated myself. I didn't want to live." McDermott says he is currently living
01:56 in a sober living home with eight other recovering alcoholics and reveals he and Tori haven't seen
02:01 one another since she moved out of the family home amid a mold scare, but they have started
02:06 communicating through text. Dean tells the outlet of his ex, with whom he shares five children,
02:12 "All Tori's ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy, and I inflicted a lot of
02:17 damage and pain on that woman. I've been so hard and brutal on her that I just want her to be loved
02:22 and happy. She deserves it." E! News has reached out to Tori's rep for comment on Dean's interview
02:28 and has not heard back.
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