The primary colour belt has been responsible for some of the laziest booked matches in WWE history, and Dan had to watch them all again. These are the 10 Worst WWE Universal Championship Matches Ever.
00:00 - Start
00:43 - 10
01:30 - 9
02:13 - 8
03:05 - 7
03:59 - 6
05:02 - 5
05:59 - 4
06:49 - 3
07:42 - 2
08:45 - 1
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00:00 - Start
00:43 - 10
01:30 - 9
02:13 - 8
03:05 - 7
03:59 - 6
05:02 - 5
05:59 - 4
06:49 - 3
07:42 - 2
08:45 - 1
SUBSCRIBE TO partsFUNknown: https://bit.ly/2J2Hl6q
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/partsfunknown
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/partsfunknown/
Buy wrestling merchandise here: https://www.wrestleshop.com/
Read more Feature content here on WrestleTalk.com: https://wrestletalk.com/features/
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SportsTranscript
00:00 When they introduced the Universal Championship, WWE told us it was a belt named for us, which
00:04 given the way much of the seven-year history has played out, feels like bullying.
00:08 "It's a belt made with an eye to the future," they said, which is why 50-year-old Goldberg
00:12 has held it twice and its two lengthiest reigns have been part-timers.
00:15 There have been some brilliant contests for the big blue and previously red belt.
00:19 Those were outlined in last week's list, which was possibly the greatest wrestling
00:22 list ever made.
00:23 Not my words.
00:24 Kind of my words.
00:25 But there has also been some hot garbage.
00:27 In fact, putting this list together, I did the maths, and outside of the first and last
00:30 entries not including strikes or simply running into your opponent like a human, the matches
00:34 herein contain a sum total of eight different moves.
00:37 What fun.
00:38 I'm Dan Hailing from PartsFunknown, and these are the 10 Worst Universal Championship Matches
00:42 Ever.
00:43 10.
00:44 Seth Rollins vs. Baron Corbin, Stomping Grounds, 2019
00:46 A simply awful wrestling match, given a reprieve here because it contains, would you believe
00:50 it, some actual wrestling.
00:51 Baron Corbin was the epitome of go-away heat at this time, and Lacey Evans wasn't faring
00:55 much better, so the decision to let Corbin choose Evans to be the special referee in
00:58 this match, while sensible from a storyline logic perspective, was trash from an "I want
01:02 to enjoy my wrestling program" perspective.
01:04 The match plays out in just the most irritating fashion.
01:07 Special Ref Lacey is a classic heel, changing the rules mid-match, refusing to count pins,
01:11 at one point low-blowing Seth herself.
01:12 And there's nothing wrong with that, per se.
01:14 It's just that this kind of angle is something you want to put on your weekly TV show to
01:17 build to the pay-per-view where a more satisfying conclusion can play out.
01:20 As the main event of your big show, it's not what the audience wants to see.
01:24 And then when Becky comes out to even the odds, a regular referee counts the pin anyway,
01:27 rendering the whole thing a bit bloody stupid.
01:29 9.
01:30 Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane - Royal Rumble 2018
01:33 What - you might ask - is Kane doing in a world title match in the year of our lord
01:36 2018?
01:37 And the answer would be "honestly not much".
01:40 Booked entirely as a special attraction, I think trying to capitalise off the incredible
01:43 big man fatal four-way in the summer of 2017, this gets off to a rickety start when an overexcited
01:48 Strowman tries to knee Brock's head off.
01:50 Brock says "no thank you" using the language he knows best, and lands a punch square in
01:54 the side of Strowman's head that knocks the monster to his knees, and it never gets
01:57 going from there.
01:58 When the SummerSlam match felt like a NASCAR race come to life, this feels like a high-speed
02:01 chase between two steamrollers, and Kane is also there.
02:04 At one point, Kane gets F5 through the announce table, which doesn't break, and then with
02:07 beautiful comic timing, breaks when he tries to roll off it instead.
02:11 What is, if I may, even the point?
02:13 8.
02:14 Goldberg vs. Braun Strowman - WrestleMania 36
02:16 What could be better than striking while the iron is hot?
02:18 If you said waiting three years and letting it happen is a quick solution to a Legends
02:21 contract ending in front of absolutely zero fans because you're not going to let some
02:24 germs get in your way, then Vince, it's you!
02:27 What are you doing here?
02:28 The plan was for Goldberg to drop his newly won Universal title, and we will jolly well
02:32 get to that, to Roman Reigns.
02:33 But owing to the old pandemic, Reigns made the decision to stay home and not put himself
02:37 or his family at risk.
02:38 So instead, they popped Strowman in the prime spot, and had the eighth time of asking, this
02:42 was his moment to become champ.
02:43 Just a shame then that it was the pro wrestling equivalent of a petrol station sandwich.
02:47 They jacked jaws for a little bit, and because we could hear every word, it all felt a bit
02:50 cringe actually, and then the bashing started.
02:52 You get the feeling watching it back that in another time, in front of a live crowd,
02:56 the sight of Goldberg trying to take down a redwood of a man would get a few gasps and
03:00 ohs, but here it simply happens.
03:02 It's nobody's fault, but it is quite rubbish.
03:04 7.
03:05 Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman - Hell in a Cell 2018
03:07 I promise this isn't just a dunk on Braun Strowman list, although it's not not that,
03:12 but here is another example of how tremendously badly a ball can be fumbled.
03:15 You don't need to go back and watch this match, I did it for you and that's why I
03:18 hate you.
03:19 As you know, it's 23 minutes long and it ends in a no contest, which makes it the first
03:22 bit of Hell in a Cell bobbins on this list.
03:24 First of all, it was Strowman's Money in the Bank cash-in, after his Summerslam attempt
03:27 had seen him spanked with the briefcase by Brock Lesnar, and his second attempt fell
03:31 prey to a Shield reunion, which meant he got himself some running buddies in the shape
03:34 of Ziggler and McIntyre, the monster aura well and truly slipping.
03:37 And then the match exists as a Hell in a Cell greatest hits.
03:40 Mick Foley's there because it's 20 years since his moment, which is recreated by Dolph and
03:44 Seth.
03:45 Lesnar comes down and rips the cage off the door, which, okay, is cool, but then apparently
03:48 an F5 to each of the competitors is enough to have officials run down and call the entire
03:52 match off as they can't compete anymore.
03:54 F5s aren't that powerful.
03:56 Wanna know how I know?
03:57 Strap in for the next two, because...
03:58 Number 6.
03:59 Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns - Greatest Royal Rumble
04:01 Setting the tone for Saudi bollocks from the off, this show was quite rubbish, and slap
04:05 bang in the middle was honestly one of the most stupid dumb pieces of bobbins I've ever
04:09 seen.
04:10 A cage match's rules are very clear.
04:11 Pin, submit, or escape the cage and have both feet touch the floor.
04:14 We've seen that last part used many a time, with someone getting hung up on a cage or
04:17 both competitors landing at different times.
04:20 But of course, this was latter-day Vinnie Mac, WWE, so egg all over my face for caring
04:24 about consistency on any level.
04:26 In the closing moments of the match, Reigns hits a spear on Lesnar so powerful, the pair
04:29 explode through one of the cage walls, which, to be fair, is kinda sick.
04:33 Once they've landed, however, in plain view of the camera, Roman rolls off Lesnar and
04:36 his feet hit the floor.
04:37 Lesnar, meanwhile, is on his back with his feet in the air, because that's how spears
04:41 work, and the cage door is still attached, meaning at no point do Lesnar's feet hit the
04:44 floor.
04:45 In fact, Lesnar's declared the winner, and the announcers play commentary twister trying
04:48 to explain how Lesnar hit the floor first, and that means he's the winner.
04:52 Magelkoll, take your hand off red and put it over your mouth.
04:54 That's bollocks and you know it.
04:55 And all of that aside, it's basically just a lazy copy and paste repeat of their god-awful
04:59 WrestleMania match, which is a real shame because…
05:01 5.
05:02 Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, WrestleMania 34
05:04 I'm not one to be dramatic, honest, but this match crushed my spirit.
05:08 WrestleMania, for better or worse, is my favourite night of the year, and the main event of that
05:12 show should feel the most special ever.
05:14 So when a match is so dreadful it has crowds chanting "this is awful" and "boring",
05:18 I want to run away and hide and clutch my copy of X-7 so close to my chest until I end
05:23 up back in the good timeline.
05:24 God, this sucks.
05:25 Roman was going on about how Lesnar was never around to defend his belt, which is so ironic
05:29 Alanis Morissette would miss it entirely, but the crowd are so unbothered at this stage
05:32 that it's like a walking art piece dedicated to how little Vince McMahon knew or cared
05:36 about his audience's interests at this moment.
05:39 And in terms of content, over the course of 15 agonising minutes, Brock Lesnar wrestles
05:43 like he's being controlled by a 12-year-old playing SmackDown Shut Your Mouth.
05:45 Oh, I've got six finishers queued up, I guess I'll use all of them in a row.
05:49 Reigns keeps kicking out, and every single time it's met by a groan from the crowd who
05:52 just want to be released from this match, this feud, this character.
05:55 Oh hell, release me from this mortal plane, anything to make it stop.
05:59 4.
06:00 The Fiend vs. Goldberg - Super Showdown 2020
06:02 Sullying the good name of dreadful, after months and months of building this unstoppable
06:06 monster clown who had run down challengers, survived a sledgehammer to the head and created
06:10 something reminiscent of genuine excitement from a jaded fanbase, you have him defeated
06:14 in short order not by a monster of similar proportions, but by a walking action figure
06:18 with one, count it one, jackhammer.
06:20 And it's not even a very good jackhammer at that.
06:22 I say this as someone who genuinely likes Goldberg and the aura he carries with him,
06:25 but the man had no business being near the world title during his latter runs, let alone
06:29 for a second time, and certainly not at the flippin' expense of the Fiend character.
06:34 Truly I'm struggling to find the words to explain how incredulous this match made me
06:36 feel and since I don't want this list to devolve into noises, I'll leave it to my
06:40 learned colleague Luke Owen, whose exasperated bafflement sums it up better than I ever could.
06:45 3.
06:49 Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso - Summerslam 2023
06:52 Putting this list together has made me so, so thankful for the Tribal Chief.
06:55 Five years of trying to relentlessly force Big Dog Roman down our gullets was interminable,
06:59 but the epic head-of-the-table reign featured more than its fair share of classics.
07:03 But for many, this match was the moment where the story jumped the shark, and while I am
07:06 personally not ready to give up on it completely, I can understand why so many hit their ejectacy.
07:11 A dull, dragged out bit of melodrama that rehashed the same, tired pattern of every
07:15 recent Roman match, just with added waiting time between moves.
07:18 The Tribal Combat rules went out the window pretty quickly too, as it turned out to be
07:21 simply No DQ by any other name, and a suggestion that it might rule out interference also went
07:25 tits up, as Jimmy Uso went back on his apparent abandoning of the troop to prevent his own
07:29 brother from winning.
07:30 For a legion of fans, this felt like one twist too far, and the fury rolled in as it ruined
07:34 an otherwise spectacular storyline.
07:36 Rumour has it there is still a hole in Pete Quinnell's TV screen, born through the power
07:40 of his death stare alone.
07:41 2.
07:42 Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg - Fastlane 2017
07:44 This match makes me really cross for a whole bunch of reasons, but the one right at the
07:48 top of it is that it shouldn't be on this list.
07:50 There was precisely zero good reason to have Goldberg challenge for the Universal title
07:54 at any stage, let alone at the expense of a brilliant story that had been building for
07:57 months right before WrestleMania.
07:59 We'll do the match first.
08:00 There isn't one.
08:01 If Vince chases about like a coward for a while, then Jericho's music distracts him,
08:04 Goldberg hits his ka-ka-ka combo and it's over.
08:07 There.
08:08 Rubbish.
08:09 Now, Lesnar-Goldberg at WrestleMania was brilliant, but it simply didn't need the belt.
08:12 It was already a draw.
08:13 The stakes were about Goldberg having Lesnar's number and whether The Beast could overcome
08:17 it.
08:18 That's all, and the crowd wanted to see it.
08:19 I could just about understand putting the belt there if you wanted to turn it into the
08:22 main event, but it went on third from last.
08:23 Meanwhile, the actual main event story - the one people were buying into featuring regularly
08:28 competing stars - was bantered off in the lower card, and Vince ended up calling it
08:31 the worst match in WrestleMania history.
08:33 Viewer, it wasn't even the worst match on that show.
08:36 It was this callous dismissal that ultimately led Chris Jericho to decide his future lay
08:39 outside of the WWE.
08:40 So it's a fun thought exercise to imagine what the wrestling world might look like if
08:44 they'd done it the right way.
08:45 And number one, Seth Rollins vs The Fiend, Hell in a Cell 2019.
08:49 How do you kill a belt, a gimmick, a stipulation and drive a legion of paying fans to scream
08:52 bloody murder for a refund?
08:54 By bathing the ring in red light and pissing all over our hopes and dreams.
08:58 That's how.
08:59 Bray Wyatt's Firefly Funhouse and The Fiend character had caught fire with fans who were
09:02 delighted by the twisted nature of the gimmick.
09:05 As Bray made appearances on Breakfast TV in the friendly Mr. Rogers/Dr. Jekyll half of
09:08 the character, at least to me, it felt like a moment where the lightning bolt clicked
09:12 and it was the perfect opportunity to whack the title on him and do something really interesting.
09:16 But why do something interesting when you can do something stupid instead, eh?
09:19 When Rollins hits his first stomp and The Fiend stands up, the crowd roar in excitement,
09:22 but that excitement is quickly diminished as Rollins does about 12 more, which don't
09:26 work.
09:27 The Fiends are a thing, and when he uses every tool in the box, literally, and bonks
09:31 Fiend on the head with a sledgehammer, the match is called off.
09:34 This despite the entire point of Hell in a Cell being the most sadistic, brutal, final,
09:37 nuclear option match, and yes, that's two no-contests, two years running.
09:41 The fans in attendance rained down vicious boos, demanding the match be restarted, and
09:45 even were chanting for AEW, which at that point had aired exactly two hours of television.
09:49 It smashed The Fiend's momentum into a brick wall, and it never truly managed to get back
09:53 to the fervent height it had experienced, something about which I am still very, very
09:58 cross.